Trigger warning: panic attacks

Chapter 27 – Is This All We Have?

"Did something happen?"

Shaking her head with a weak smile, Sakura clambered into the bed with a swell of unease – one she couldn't explain to him even if she tried.

He tried to understand, though. Gods, it was obvious he was trying so damn hard to understand. It was in his face as Sasuke came to sit beside her on the bed, watching her closely like she was about to shatter into a thousand pieces if he wasn't careful enough with her. And the saddest part about his hesitancy was that she would. She was breaking.

"Do you…" He glanced down at the space between them, frowning. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Not really, she wanted to say. The irrational side of her wanted to say that he wasn't to talk to, look at or so much as think about Ino again. Talking about her or even hinting at her was out of the question, also. But to do that was wrong, Sakura knew – it was potentially just as abusive as everything that had been happening up until that point and she could never do that to him. She didn't want to become yet another person in his life who controlled what he did, said or thought.

Gods, it was a tempting thought, though.

"There's no coming back from tonight," she told him, swallowing hard. "Ino… She…"

His frown slowly shifted to a scowl as suspicions seeped into his mind and she had to look away. "What did she do?"

No, she couldn't say it. If she did, she'd break down all over again and share way too much with Sasuke. What would he say if she told him how much she shared with Ino? What would he do? It was too scary to find out.

But…

She had to be brave, right? For them to be able to move past it all, they had to be honest, right?

Fear wrapped itself around her throat in the shape of a hand when Sakura met his wary gaze once more and no amount of swallowing eased the tension. She could only stare at him for the longest time, something in her expression making Sasuke uneasy and stunning her when he frowned.

"I'll regain your trust one day," he promised her. "Don't feel like you have to force yourself to talk."

She'd always known that he was capable of seeing right through her. "It's just…" Tears threatened to fill her eyes, but she forced them back with a fierce firming of her down-turning lips, for she was so sick of crying about people hurting her. "I-Ino… She did something tonight. To me. And… I froze."

The frown deepened and Sakura was horrified to see how much Sasuke looked like Fugaku in that moment, the sight of her boyfriend twisting her stomach sickeningly. Why hadn't she ever noticed the similarities between father and son when both were angered? Why had she always been so blinded by it?

"What did she do to you?"

Be honest.

Trust him.

But the words wouldn't form. Why wouldn't they form? Why were they getting trapped, knotting in her chest, building and tightening and killing her–

"Sakura?"

Tell him.

"I…"

The stammering was matched by an intense shaking of her hands, one that captured Sasuke's attention instantly and at his frown, she assumed that he would snap at her to get a grip, to stop being so weak. However, he surprised her in shuffling forward unsurely and reaching out, taking her hands, steadying them in his firm, warm grip.

"Breathe with me," he ordered quietly, seemingly mindful of the volume and tone of his voice. She was too lost in her distress to focus on that, however. Just as she was too lost to try and control her breathing. "Please, Sakura."

She shook her head quickly and without her consent, she let go of him, only to grip at his shirt a second later, stretching the fabric horribly. "T-Too…" Sakura swallowed hard. "T… ight."

Fortunately for her, he understood and reached out, fumbling for what felt like a lifetime until eventually one clasp unpopped, then moments later, the other, finally freeing her chest.

But it didn't help.

Nothing was helping.

"You're sweating," he murmured unsurely before moving around, leaving her to fall forward pitifully with a sob. Her face pressed into the bedding, body convulsing as her wheezing turned into coughing and heaving. "Come stand under the window with me."

No. She couldn't. She couldn't move. Not even with his support. Not even as he tried to move her himself when she failed to respond. The bed beneath her was wet, but she couldn't tell if it was from her tears or snot or saliva at that point – it didn't matter to her. All that ran through her mind was that she couldn't breathe and was undoubtedly dying.

She must have said it out loud, because Sasuke was suddenly telling her, "You're not dying. It's a panic attack. You're going to be okay."

Why couldn't she be normal?

"Breathe with me," he ordered again.

How much time had passed before she managed to return to a regular heartbeat and breathing? Minutes? Hours? Had time passed slowly, or quickly? She couldn't tell, not while in such a pathetic state. All Sakura was capable of thinking while so lost in… whatever the hell that was, was that she was dying. She had to be, because surely having so many panic attacks wasn't normal? Was it an underlying issue? Was there something wrong with her heart?

"Stop," Sasuke ordered, keeping their eyes locked with the use of his hands cradling her face. "Stop thinking so much."

She wanted to be normal. Wanted to stand up for herself. Wanted to understand what it was that made her heart yearn so badly for two different men, to the point where it made her a nervous fucking wreck.

"I'm so tired," whispered Sakura hoarsely. She swallowed to try and soothe the pain in her throat from her hyperventilating, but it seemed it was a losing battle. "These things are draining me."

Was there a limit on how many panic attacks a person could have before succumbing to total mental exhaustion? No, not just mental, because her body felt like it'd gone through the ringer too. Like somebody thrice her weight had been sat on her chest, immobilising her so that all she could think about was–

"Stop thinking. You're working yourself up."

Oh. Was that what she was doing?

Eyes sliding shut, she rested her forehead on Sasuke's collarbone, doing her utmost to focus now that her mind had slowed down to a more bearable speed. It was then that she noticed he'd still been cradling her face, though only because those unpredictable hands slid downwards, tracing the expanse of her back until she was being held in a warm embrace.

How had Sasuke's personality once more done such a humongous one-eighty? How had he gone from not knowing what to do for her, to suddenly being capable of not only talking her down during a panic attack, but also comforting her? Sakura was lost.

Was it okay to ask?

She bit her lip worriedly.

"How…?"

Sasuke's gaze lowered when he pulled back, like he'd wanted to look at her while talking but couldn't bring himself to. "Itachi knew what was happening and what to do," he admitted before adding with a hint of embarrassment, "I asked him what I should do."

The thought of them exchanging information on how to handle her sent a shudder of revulsion down her spine, but she had to fight the urge to pull away from him, because Sasuke hadn't done anything wrong. Like any other person who was struggling to understand a difficult situation, he'd gone to the only person he felt he could trust with it – his beloved older brother, the one who seemed to have a grasp on it all.

It just so happened she and Itachi had betrayed his trust in the worst way possible.

"I wanted to be able to help you too," he murmured softly. Finally meeting her eye, he reached up again, cupping her cheek with a faint twitch of his lips, like he was trying to smile but couldn't find the strength to do so. "I want you to be able to come to me when you need someone – to feel comfortable doing so."

Would that ever happen for them? Would she ever be capable of feeling comfortable with that level of openness? If she tried that day, Sakura knew she would think only of the consequences, for just the notion of her deceit being exposed chilled her.

"I want that too," she said earnestly because she truly did want that. She wanted to trust him so badly it killed her a little on the inside. After all, what right did she have in not trusting him, when she'd betrayed his so viciously?

"You're thinking too much again," Sasuke said while smoothing out her frown lines, unknowingly causing a part of her to blanch at the mere thought of causing wrinkles so young. That was the last thing she needed in her already tragic life. Wrinkles before she even hit twenty. "We can get out of here. Go out for dinner somewhere."

"It's a little late for dinner."

"Supper, then. Late night snack. Take your pick."

She smiled at his pushiness, for it was such a Sasuke trait that it warmed her heart. "What about a drive-thru instead?"

"And eat in my car?"

The wrinkling of his nose, his blatant disgust, relaxed her further. "I'm not Naruto – I'm not a messy eater."

Within five minutes of making the plan, they were escaping the eerily silent mansion without crossing paths with anyone and sliding silently into Sasuke's car, driving away, both releasing sighs of relief without realising.

It was almost – almost – possible to forget about their tumultuous past few months as they relaxed in their seats, her smile returning when she saw Sasuke one-handing the steering wheel, other soon coming to hers and entwining their fingers. He'd always been overly cautious about driving, always needing both hands free in case of an emergency. Seeing him relaxing was both refreshing and heart-warming.

"Have you already started therapy?" she asked, interrupting the silence that was for once peaceful and easy.

"One session."

Ah. He was a little awkward when discussing it, though that didn't surprise her in the least. Sasuke had always found it hard talking about himself or his emotions. "How did it go?"

"I'm not sure," he responded truthfully, eyes glued to the road. Keeping their hands connected, he knocked the car down to neutral as they came to a red light. She'd never understood why he did that, but then again, his car was automatic whereas hers was manual (and her father always tried to drill it into her to come off the clutch and go neutral when at a red light). "The therapist said it would take time to open up." Rolling his eyes as the light turned green, he set off again, adding, "Father believes it's a ploy to get more money."

Of course he did. Fugaku probably used that excuse to get out of going to therapy, telling himself that it was all fake and just a waste of his time and money. To that generation, talking didn't help matters. Men had to bottle everything up and keep a stiff upper lip.

She was proud of Sasuke for informing his father of going to therapy, though. Immensely proud.

Although they were officially in summer, it was chillier at night and she daringly reached to change the heating settings, glancing to her boyfriend from the corner of her eye while doing so. He was unaffected, it seemed, and she sighed with relief as the heat immediately began filling the car until she felt toasty warm.

"He was probably hit with a few home truths that he couldn't handle," Sakura snorted.

Sasuke remained silent but nodded.

She wondered what he'd opened up about already, if he'd spoken at all. It was hard to imagine her boyfriend being so honest about all that'd gone on – he'd never been one for being emotionally vulnerable, instead following his father's example. But Sasuke had already impressed her with a few attitude changes, so was that a sign that he really was trying to change?

But was it really such a good thing if he was only trying to change for her? Shouldn't it be for himself?

Sakura shook the worrying thought from her mind, because did it really matter when he was still willing to change?

"I asked if you could attend my next session with me," he explained after a few beats of silence, interrupting her wandering mind as she pondered whether to turn the radio on. "Apparently, it's down to if I feel comfortable enough having you there."

Sitting in on a session would be huge for him. She knew it would be. "So…?"

Another pause. She was floored when his jaw clenched slightly. "Are you free on Thursday?"

That was in just two days' time. It stunned her that it was so soon, but then again, the Uchiha family could afford the most prestigious of private clinics, couldn't they? There would be no waiting lists for them. And if they wanted multiple sessions a week? Then they got them. Nobody was going to turn away Fugaku or his family for fear of the repercussions.

"Yeah," she replied without thinking about it.

If attending Sasuke's therapy sessions with him helped her boyfriend in moving forward, then she would be there. She would support him one hundred percent.

But she worried about being asked something that landed him in trouble. Sure, she knew about confidentiality, but she also knew it could be broken if the therapist believed the patient was at risk of harming themselves or someone else. What would happen if they talked about the abuse? Would they talk about the abuse, or was Sasuke avoiding that topic?

"How much have you…?"

When she trailed off weakly, he sighed and pulled into a car park, sights set on the gigantic yellow 'M' that lit up the area, rendering the streetlights pointless in its presence. She couldn't feel surprised that he'd chosen fast food, not when their conversation was so heavy.

"He's aware that I'm…" The words died on his tongue and she felt her stomach twist in response to his inability to finish the sentence, that twisting growing more intense when he changed the sentence entirely. "I haven't told him everything yet."

Yet.

She would hold onto that 'yet' and hope Sasuke was big enough to share all that he'd done. Until then, she had no choice but to trust he would confide in his therapist about all that had happened, that he would be willing to go through whatever treatment was out there for people falling onto that dark path of abuse.

"What do you want?" he asked as his car slowed to a crawl, approaching the telecom.

She recalled the last time they ate at a McDonald's and how she'd fought for a salad when all she'd wanted was a double cheeseburger, her stomach unsettled with every bite when Sasuke ignored her wishes and went with what he believed to be best for her. Rather than go through the whole ordeal all over again, she ordered what her stomach truly wanted without half as much guilt as what she would've previously experienced.

It seemed Sasuke appreciated the growth in her confidence, for he proffered a small smile of admiration and pride. And even though part of her hated herself for it, she flourished under his silent praise, heart skipping beats and palms tingling.

Maybe she was the one who needed therapy, not him?

They ate in the furthest part of the car park, relaxing back into their seats with music playing quietly to fill the silence. Aside from theirs, there were about ten cars that were parked up, all spread out in various isolated spots in what Sakura knew was an attempt to lessen the chances of damage from heavy-handed consumers.

"Do you think you'll be going back?"

She knew exactly what he was referencing to and thoughtfully, she looked down to her double cheeseburger, frowning. "I don't know. What she did was…"

Wrong. Hurtful. Twisted. Fucked up.

Gods, choosing one word to describe what'd happened was impossible.

"We don't have to talk about it," he assured her quietly. Copying Sakura's example, he looked to his meal, slowing in his eating so that he could talk between bites. "But if you need someone to support you in going back there, I'll be there for you."

Despite knowing they'd never slept together or had any sort of intimacy, an irrational part of Sakura still felt an extreme necessity to keep them separated. Simply because what if.

Also…

As much as she loved Sasuke, she simply couldn't see him comforting her or protecting her in the same way as Itachi had. She'd sincerely needed his presence – the maturity, the rationalism, the composure, the support.

That feeling of home.

"Thank you," she said.

How was she supposed to tell someone like Sasuke that, while she appreciated the gesture, he wouldn't ever live up to the promise? And sure, she knew how cruel that sounded, but she knew him. She knew what to expect. A reaction such as Itachi's, of getting her far away from the abuse he'd walked in on, of comforting her, would not cross Sasuke's mind. No, he would attack first and ask questions later. He would jump straight to demanding some form of revenge before comforting her, making the whole situation unnecessarily messier. That was just who he was, sadly and anyone who dared to argue with her was straight up wrong and clearly didn't know him in the slightest, so should keep their damned mouths shut.

Sasuke was irrational at the best of times with a terrifying temper that would only exacerbate the situation. There was the added fear that Ino would jump at the chance to use him against her in some way and it would work, without a doubt, due to her vulnerability.

"I'm tired of being hurt," she confessed softly, unable to look at him as she spoke. "She shattered the trust between us, Sasuke-kun and I can't forgive that."

He nodded silently, watching her for a few moments longer before sighing and looking ahead of himself, staring out at the stretch of space that boasted how busy the entertainment corner of Konoha usually was. Opposite the McDonald's was a cinema, which was next to a bowling alley and on the other end of the car park was a bar, one that was currently open but quiet.

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn?"

"I…" Fidgeting, she briefly looked his way before averting her gaze when she found he was already watching her. "I know we haven't talked about our anniversary, but I… I still want to go."

"Are you sure?"

Steeling her resolve, Sakura met his eye and smiled. If they were going to move on from the shitty things that had happened, then they both had to put in the effort, didn't they? Sasuke was already going to therapy and had asked that she joined him, to keep an eye on his progress. That was huge for him. So, it was her turn.

"It'll be good for us," she told him while scrunching up her wrappers and tossing them into the paper bag in her footwell. "We'll be away from all distractions, just the two of us for a whole weekend."

She did her utmost to ignore the pang of doubt in the pit of her stomach, choosing to brush it off as indigestion.

"…Yeah."

She also brushed off his uncertainty with a smile since his reaction only made hers worsen.

"We should probably head back," she suggested when the silence dragged out for too long.

But the shaking of Sasuke's head as he leaned back in his seat, breathing out a sigh, had her smile warming, as did his response of, "Not yet. I want to stay here in this moment for a bit longer."

They fell asleep in his car, though due to being on the far end of the car park, they were mostly ignored or unnoticed entirely, much to her gratefulness. She couldn't imagine how embarrassing it would have been to be discovered sleeping in Sasuke's car like they were homeless. Then again, being homeless and owning a fairly recent, personalised Range Rover was a strange mixture.

Wary of waking Sasuke, she lowered her sun visor to check the mirror, sighing in relief when she found she didn't look that bad. The hair was an easy fix and she ran her fingers through it several times, only to groan in annoyance when she went to tie it up only to find her hair tie missing. Of course, she'd forgotten that she'd given it to Ino the night before when she'd been throwing up.

No point stressing about it, she thought to herself, taking a deep breath.

Glancing to her slumbering boyfriend, Sakura felt a surge of warmth. He always looked so peaceful when sleeping and as much as she would prefer staying there with him, she knew they had to leave.

"Sasuke-kun?" He mumbled something to her about going back to sleep and she smiled, reaching out and giving a gentle shake. "Sasuke-kun, we fell asleep."

"…You did first."

Typical of him. Instead of disagreeing or admitting it was his fault since he'd wanted to stay there and relax, he found someone else to blame. Knowing how to wake him, Sakura shuffled in her seat, the bag with their trash rustling at her feet.

The smell of their rubbish made his nose wrinkle and he glanced at it through a single, squinting eye before sighing and rubbing his forehead, brushing his bangs back messily. That tiredness alone told her he hadn't been far behind her in falling asleep, though fortunately he'd turned the engine off before doing so. The doors were also locked, though she knew that it was a habit of Sasuke's to lock the car whenever he was stationary.

Upon leaving the car park, he tossed the bag of rubbish with perfect aim into one of the bins, driving off without a second thought.

"Father will probably be awake when we get back," he muttered, stealing a glance at the clock on his dashboard. "Itachi, too."

Ignoring the pang in her chest at the mentioning of his name was close to impossible and Sakura wondered if it would always be that way, or if it would fade over time. Would her feelings?

Did she want them to?

"Do they really leave for work this early?" It was barely even six, after all and at his nod of confirmation, she shook her head with disbelief. "It's a surprise they're not sick from overworking themselves."

Not that she cared much, if at all, for Fugaku.

Noticing that her boyfriend had grown pensive after the mentioning of his father, she twisted in her seat to look at him, asking, "What do you want to do today?"

"You're not tired?"

"Yeah, but… We can't sleep all day, can we?"

"As tempting as that would be, no. We can't."

He'd never hear the end of it if he did, would he? Sighing, Sakura pondered the many different things they could do, but whenever she was certain she had a great idea, Fugaku's scowl would flash through her mind and it was like she could hear him muttering that they were squandering their time on such infantile exploits, when they could have been doing something productive or beneficial to their futures.

"Isn't there anything you want to do?" she enquired quietly as they entered the wealthier side of Konoha.

It used to fill her with awe seeing the flashy mansions and acres of land between each home. Now she just felt trepidation and an odd sensation of isolation, like she was staring into her future and hating every second of it.

She was tempted to tell Sasuke to turn back around and drive off, but she bit her tongue to stay silent. Unlike Itachi, Sakura knew Sasuke would grow annoyed with her words.

"I didn't work out yesterday," he answered with a weary exhale.

Meaning he would work twice as hard that day. Meaning he would be in agony and not wanting to move later that day. Meaning it would probably lead to them hanging out in his gaming room.

Sakura suppressed her shudder.

Helping him would mean eventually being able to sit with him in that room, wouldn't it? Or would it? Gods, she just wanted to avoid that place altogether because honestly? Sakura wasn't sure if she would ever be able to face it. She'd tried getting over it, or at least moving on from it by returning like nothing major had happened, like he hadn't forced himself on her or pinned her to the window with his rage. It hadn't worked, however and with her reoccurring panic attacks, she wasn't sure if she could cope with the smothering, dark aura of that room.

What excuse could she use to get out of it, though? And would it seem too soon to use it in that moment? Would he know she was bullshitting?

"We can try working out together?" she offered, hoping the uncertainty in her voice wasn't noticeable.

After the workout, she could claim to feeling too sore to do anything, or even that she wanted to soak in the tub to try and ease the soreness of her muscles. Then hopefully by that time, dinner would be ready, and they'd have no choice but to join the rest of the family. Then…

It was pretty sad that she had to find excuses, wasn't it? How were they ever going to move forward if she couldn't even face a simple gaming room?

By the time they returned to the mansion, Sakura's hands were shaking – a shaking that increased in intensity when Fugaku and Itachi entered the garage just as they climbed out of Sasuke's car, the pause in each of their movements filling her with dread.

"Where have you been?" questioned Fugaku coolly.

His aura alone demanded that Sasuke focus solely on him and it seemed she was spared for the moment, her gaze catching Itachi's, soon pleading with him not to say anything when he glanced downwards and noticed her shaking. His eyebrows twitched at that, like he was going to mention it anyway and for a split second, her heart sunk.

But then he sighed and turned away, murmuring, "They are adults, Father."

"That may be, however-"

"However, nothing." There was no room for argument in his tone and Sakura winced at the coldness he exhibited. Was it because of her? "You said it is necessary that we be at the office at this unreasonable hour, so let's leave already."

The flash of disapproval in the patriarch's eyes was not missed by her or Sasuke and she gripped his wrist when he inhaled quickly, like he was about to unleash hell on his father for so much as thinking of Itachi negatively. He remained silent.

She met Itachi's gaze a final time when he slid into his car, unable to describe the ferocious ache that swept through her entire body at the distance between them – not only physically, but emotionally also. And while Sakura knew he was doing it to protect his heart, that she'd made the decision to end whatever had been growing between them, it still hurt. So much so that it stole the breath from her lungs and left her standing there momentarily like an idiot.

It would never be normal between them, would it? Could they even be just friends after how intense it got between them?

Sakura understood perfectly that she'd hurt Itachi by choosing Sasuke, but… But he was her boyfriend and he was trying so hard to change his ways. Their five-year anniversary was just around the corner. Surely, that meant something?

"Let's go, Sakura."

She tried not to flinch at the sudden grab of her wrist that obnoxiously broke the spell Itachi seemed to cast on her.

"We'll eat, then workout."

Numbly, she nodded.

Working out with Sasuke was nothing like working out with Itachi, although part of herself told her to ease up on the critique. It'd hardly been a workout, after all. More of a photo shoot. And Sasuke had the excuse that he had to make up for skipping exercising the day before – she knew it was a part of his daily routine and no doubt it'd knocked him out of sorts.

Much to her gratefulness, she'd received her escape halfway through their workout when they'd paused to catch their breaths. The pinging of her phone had annoyed Sasuke, but when she stated it was Naruto asking her to hang out, she got the feeling he was almost grateful for the invitation. Well, he'd told her to go without hesitating, so she believed he was glad to see the back of her, anyway.

She understood why when she returned to the gym to say goodbye, for the intensity of his workout had increased exponentially. Apparently, she'd been holding him back.

"Be careful," she said for the third time, frowning.

"Just go already."

Was it okay if she did, considering he was using one of the highest settings on the pec-deck machine? Grimacing, she loitered in the doorway, knowingly pissing him off but being unable to leave with the horrible pit in her stomach that he may hurt himself.

"Sakura–"

"Just… Please, don't do any bench presses without anyone here to spot you," she pleaded worriedly.

His agreement wasn't all that comforting, so on her way out, she may have passed the warning onto his mother, who swore she would do regular checks. It wasn't much, but it did lessen the worry somewhat.

Naruto was waiting outside for her when she left the manor, grinning widely at her warm smile and pushing away from the hood of his car, embracing her without restraint.

"You look better," he said as his greeting.

She didn't feel it. Not really. Instead of saying so, she lied and extracted herself from his hug with a cheerful, "Sleep'll do that for a person."

She hadn't missed his driving in the slightest, Sakura quickly realised when he tore out of the driveway, tyres screeching their protest when he made a sharp turn. It was a good thing the roads they took were relatively quiet with higher speed limits, otherwise he would've lost his license with his reckless speeding.

Still, she appreciated his company as he immediately blasted his music with the windows rolled all the way down, neither caring for others as they sang along as loud as they could. Had Sasuke tagged along, he would've no doubt put a downer on the experience and while it was no doubt selfish of her for thinking so, she was glad he hadn't joined them, especially when Naruto gave her full control of the aux lead and allowed her to play her favourite playlist.

That was what she needed, decided Sakura, her grin never dimming for a moment even as they flew over dips in the dirt road that left them suspended for seconds at a time. Her best friend – one of very few people who'd never hurt her, one who constantly tried his best to help her – and his magical ways of dragging her out of the foulest of moods. Being unhappy around him was unfeasible.

They slowed considerably as they reached busier roads with slower limits, even turning down the music after a short while.

"Working out," she answered when Naruto asked what Sasuke was doing.

"Is that all he does nowadays?"

Not at all, she wanted to argue. Instead, she asked, "Why do you think that's all he does?"

"Because whenever I ask him to hangout, he's either in a bad mood or working out."

She frowned while looking out of her window, vaguely thankful that she'd chosen to tie her hair up earlier. Since Naruto had already told her they would be going for a drive, she'd known exactly what that would've entailed, so hadn't put much, if any, effort into her appearance.

Why would Sasuke lie to Naruto? Was it because he attended therapy? Was it because of her?

Deciding to change the subject, for she knew it would only annoy Sasuke if he knew they were discussing him, she asked, "Have you decided what you're going to do in the fall?"

The question seemed to irk him and as he began his predictable tirade of it being way too soon to decide on any of 'that stuff', Sakura relaxed into her seat with a noticeable slump. Knees coming to her chest and shoeless feet planting firmly into the seat, she rolled her bottom lip between her thumb and finger, staring absentmindedly at the road ahead.

It made sense for Sasuke to keep his therapy a secret, she concluded after a couple of songs. He was proud as hell and while he hopefully knew Naruto would never tease him for seeking help, she knew he would never be ready to discuss what pushed him into therapy in the first place.

Part of her wondered what would happen if Naruto ever found out what'd happened. He'd always been fiercely protective of her and had always gone out of his way making sure her heart was never toyed with. Saying he would be angry was an understatement, for Sakura knew Naruto would be beyond livid. But she couldn't imagine how he would respond. Would he react violently? Emotionally?

It was best he never found out, she decided while glancing over at him. He was too much of a wildcard and there was no telling how it would affect Sasuke in the long run. He needed support.

"Hello?" Naruto elongated his words, waving a hand in front of her face. "Sakura-chan?"

"Sorry," she said with a twitch of her lips.

Sighing irritably, he turned onto quieter roads, sparing a glance in her direction while doing so. "What's up?"

She couldn't say nothing, because he would undoubtedly see straight through it. So, Sakura told him at length, "Ino and I are…" Gods, why did it hurt just trying to say it? "We're not friends anymore."

And the seriousness of her tone seemed to really hit him that it was over, for Naruto sent her a startled look and swiftly pulled over in front of a stranger's house. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Nodding slowly and wrapping her arms around her legs, she murmured, "I'm sure you heard about our fight at Sasuke-kun's party?"

He grimaced at that. "Somebody recorded it."

Great. Of course, they had. That seemed to be the natural response to all incidents as of late and it pissed her the hell off.

Instead of allowing herself to get lost in her anger, Sakura took a deep breath and released it slowly.

"Do you know what caused it?" Uncertainly, he shook his head. No doubt there'd been several rumours as to what started it. "I confided in her about my relationship with Sasuke-kun and how he told me he loved me earlier that day."

"Are you saying she was hurt by it?"

His disbelief was palpable and had her sighing. "Yeah."

Obviously, she now knew there'd been more to it than mere jealousy, but it still played a factor and she knew it did due to the words she'd spat so hatefully at her.

"Good thing Itachi and Shisui were there," he murmured.

She could only nod.

"This sucks," Naruto suddenly exclaimed and his fist came down on the steering wheel. "She's always tried interfering. Why the hell can't she be happy for you both and just move on?"

It seemed she was getting a little better at controlling her emotions, Sakura realised when she stubbornly fought back the sob threatening to tear its way from deep within her chest. It hurt like crazy and she knew the pain shone brightly on her face, so pressed her forehead tightly to her knees to shield the emotion.

But she should have known better than trying to hide her agony from Naruto. In an instant, he was unbuckling his seat belt and turning in his seat. "Sakura-chan…"

No. No, she had to stop breaking down over everything. She had to learn to control herself. To hold it back. As much as she wanted to confide in him about the reckless plan of forcing Ino to go cold turkey, as much as she ached to tell him about Sasuke and Itachi and the entire fucked up family, she knew she couldn't. She couldn't.

"Sometimes, my mom says you have to face stuff head on to be able to move on from it," he said suddenly, the softer tone of his voice taking her by surprise briefly. "Maybe… Maybe that's what you need to do with Ino?"

She doubted it. What if she went back and the same thing happened? What if Ino lashed out again and hurt her? What if she froze and was unable to stop her? Even if that wasn't the case, ending a fifteen-year friendship while one of them was going through hell was hardly fair, was it? What if it pushed Ino further into her addiction?

But…

Why was that her problem? Why was she always going out of her way for the people who so effortlessly hurt her?

One last time, she told herself when they resumed driving. During Naruto's distraction of watching the road, she shot off a quick text to him, asking for his assistance once more. It was like Naruto said: she had to face Ino head on to move on from her, but she needed someone who understood to be waiting for her on the other side.

'Are you sure?'

Was she? Not in the slightest. Her chest was already hurting at just the thought of going back there. But she had to. She needed to.

She had to finally stand her ground.