This links in with my previous one-shot 'Nothing' and while it's not necessary to read it, it might help.

In the Nothing, there is no concept of time or space. There are only millions of souls, floating entities that Peter can sense but not communicate with. He is trapped; a victim to his endless thoughts, holding onto the dimming hope that help will come-

And then he is thrust back into the universe, a whole body once more, appearing right back where he'd vanished.

Peter doesn't notice the others who have also appeared. He can't, not when suddenly existing again is overwhelming his senses. The firm, sandy ground beneath him burns his hands, its dusty red shade practically neon to Peter's eyes. He clenches them tight and after becoming so accustomed to silence, the voices around him merge into one deafening hum.

Even before the spider-bite, Peter had suffered from sensory overload. While he'd created methods to help cope with it, especially after their enhancement, there's no way he could have prepared himself for this. He's not just gone from 0 to 100, he's gone from -1000 to 1000 and a part of him almost wants to go back to the Nothing again. How is he supposed to be able to live in this reality now, where everything is too bright and too loud? The existence he'd once taken for granted now feels like a burden, like he was put back here just to combust.

The panic ends up muffling it all and so Peter allows himself to fall prey to it, not realising he's hyperventilating until there's a hand pressed under his chin, guiding his face upwards. They coax his eyes open and the blurred sight of another human being, not just a presence he can barely sense, makes it feel like his chest is caving in because this doesn't feel real, it can't be real, maybe he's just in the Nothing still and his mind is playing cruel tricks on-

"-eter. Breathe. Follow my breath. Here." His hand is taken but Peter's in too much shock to even consider ripping it away, despite how the touch itches. Trembling fingers unclench his own and then his palm is pressed against something soft yet sturdy. A chest? It has to be. Steady, if slightly fast, thuds pulse beneath Peter's hand and he puts all his concentration on them until his own heart rate (he has a heart again) resembles something similar.

"You got it kid, that's it."

Panting, Peter slowly raises his head upwards again. The colours start to separate now, revealing the image of Doctor Strange kneeling in front of him.

"We-we were in that place. That…the Nothing. Right? A-and now we're, we're…"

"We're back Peter," Doctor Strange confirms, his voice a low rumble. It seems almost unfair how collected the man seems compared to Peter, but then a memory hits him.

"Y-you knew. The one future we win, this is it?"

"It is," Doctor Strange agrees and suddenly, Peter is reminded they're not the only ones on the planet.

"You knew?" The other man, Star Lord, shouts. "And you didn't think to tell us?" His face is puffy and red, probably similar to what Peter's must look like. The bug lady is sat on the ground and the tattooed guy is holding her shoulder while she pinches her face tight.

Giving the hand Peter still has over his chest a brief pat, Doctor Strange stands and Peter replaces it over his own chest, striving to maintain its steadier rhythm.

"If I had told you, do you think the events would have passed as they did? I saw one positive outcome. One. I couldn't risk losing it!"

"So to win we had to lose, huh, is that it? Because that sounds like a really fucking sucky deal and I-" Star Lord stops and turns his face away. Peter can just see it crumple into an expression of pure agony. When they'd fought before, when they'd almost had him, Thanos had said something, something about a woman…Gamara, no, Gamora…?

A flash of swirling rainbow lights slams down from the sky, causing Peter to shield his eyes and take deep inhales to try and calm his startled heart. Barely has he opened them again when there are hands clasping his shoulders tight. It's Mr. Stark and Peter's first thought is that he looks old.

Peter knows that Mr. Stark isn't all that young, and he'd always had a kind of weariness about him, but he'd always managed to counter it with uncontained energy and an aloof attitude, wearing a confidence Peter could never hope to emulate. Now, that armour has shattered and it's left behind a frail man with grey streaked hair, bloodshot eyes and hands that, though they grip Peter desperately tight, are racked with tremors.

The might have returned, but at what cost?

"Peter. Kid. Tell me you're okay. Tell me."

Peter is not okay. He is the furthest from okay but when he looks up to the man he considered a mentor, the man who has freed them all, he knows he can't tell him.

"I-I'm okay."

He knows he's made the right choice when those two words make the older man collapse in relief and Peter is gathered into his first proper hug.

He can pretend, just for a bit.

For Mr. Stark.

Travelling by Bifrost isn't nearly as fun as Peter had once believed it would be and when they land back in New York, he greets it by throwing up. As disgusting as it is, the action is almost a relief to Peter. Back in the Nothing, when Peter had been at his clearest and, as a consequence, his most frightened, he hadn't had any way to relieve the panic and stress. All he'd had was a mind that couldn't switch off until the fog came to claim him once more. Even the acid lingering at the back of his throat is a comfort because it's something. It's a burn that reminds him he's alive.

Sometimes, in the Nothing, he'd had trouble remembering if he'd even ever existed, or if the Nothing had been all there ever was.

While Peter is busy throwing up, there's a flurry of activity and Peter thinks he just catches Captain America disappear with Thor before there's a tissue and glass handed to him. He rasps out a thanks and Colonal Rhodes offers him a small smile.

"Must look nicer than it feels, huh?"

"Yeah." Peter watches as a little robot, similar to a roomba, zooms over and starts cleaning. It lets out a little squeak every time it accidently bumps into furniture and it's almost enough to draw a smile out of Peter. Almost.

"Where-"

"To get the others in Wakanda," Mr. Stark interrupts. He's tapping furiously on his phone but he doesn't get to finish as it gets slammed out of his hands by Star Lord.

"I want answers. What happened? Where did we go? How did you bring us back? Did you manage to bring back-"

"Enough!" Mr Stark's voice is sharp, containing a bite foreign to Peter. He rubs his forehead and then turns to Doctor Strange.

"I guess you know what went down?"

"I have an idea."

"Good. Well, when everyone gets back you can help explain. I'm only telling this story once so you can sit down like a good boy and wait."

"But-"

"Zip it. Why don't you worry about your friend over there?"

The bug lady still looks ill, kind of like how Peter feels, and though Star Lord looks torn, he eventually joins her on the sofa, murmuring something to the big guy.

"Now that's settled, Bruce," Mr Stark calls and Peter swivels to find Doctor Banner also there, standing beside Black Widow. There are also a few other people milling around who Peter doesn't recognise, a couple of them offering him smiles. "Check them over. Start with Peter."

The thought of tests and more hands touching him, and not just his suit but exposed skin, instantly sets Peter on edge. As Doctor Banner approaches, Peter turns to Mr. Stark and says, "I feel fine. Really. Could I…I just want to go home. I want-I want May."

Embarrassingly, Peter finds his throat closes up. He feels like a little kid again, waking from a nightmare and needing the kind of comfort only his Aunt can give. The thought of May had been one of the things that kept him mostly sane in the Nothing and now he finds he needs her like he needs air. He needs her to hug him and tell him everything will be okay, even if it won't.

Both Mr. Stark and Doctor Banner pause and just as Peter's ready to fight/burst into tears, Mr. Stark's shoulders sag. "You sure you're okay Peter?"

"I don't hurt or anything," he replies, because technically, that's not a lie. "Only a bit woozy from the Brifrost. I just really wanna see my Aunt."

"And you're sure you don't wanna stay just to hear what happened?" Mr. Stark checks and Peter shakes his head.

"Can I just get the cliff notes version later?" He asks weakly.

"Sure kid, there's still some stuff you need to know but I'll tell you in the jet."

"The jet? Wait, you're gonna take me back?"

"You bet," Mr. Stark nods, "And if I hear one complaint," he directs to Star Lord who shuts his open mouth, "I will take my sweet, sweet time about it. C'mon Peter."

After throwing on some civilian clothes over his suit, Peter follows Mr. Stark where there's a collection of jets waiting outside. They get in the smallest one and as Mr. Stark shows off another talent of his, Peter finally finds it a bit easier to breathe.

He's going home.

Peter learns on the way back that Mr. Stark (Tony kid, please, I think you've earnt that right) – Tony, and the others turned back time meaning that they technically reappeared only 5 minutes after they'd been sent away. Peter's not sure how that can be as, for all that time hadn't really been a thing in the Nothing, he swears it had to have been longer than that. He doesn't voice this, however, and instead he continues to learn that those 5 minutes caused a ton of damage. Tony assures him that he'll be providing some enhanced security for the flat.

A lot of what Peter hears raises questions but he finds that he just doesn't have the energy to ask them. Instead, he lets it all sink in and sees the evidence below them. There are fires dotted all around the city, multiple flashing lights, but already there are people out there trying to fix things.

He wonders how many of them have come back from the Nothing and if so, how they're all finding the energy when for him the Nothing is still ripping him from the inside.

Maybe they're all just stronger than Peter.

Tony tells him that May had also gone to the Nothing and so maybe she can help. She can tell him the secret to how everyone is dealing with it.

At the very least, he won't have to go through it alone.

They land in a nearby park but thankfully, despite their obvious entrance, there's enough commotion that they easily get lost in the crowd. He'd worry about the jet but he guesses it must have some technology that makes it un-stealable or something. Any other situation, Peter would wanna know just how that worked.

Peter knocks on the door when they arrive and the moment it opens he's bombarded by Aunt May, her arms wrapping firmly around him, the smell of her floral perfume strong, but reassuring. He'd imagined this moment a lot in the Nothing, in his darkest moments believing he'd never get a hug again, and so he can't help it. He bursts into tears. Aunt May makes a surprised noise before she's shushing him gently just as she used to, rocking side to side and stroking his hair.

"What happened?" May directs at Tony. "One minute I'm washing the dishes and the next, a plate is smashed and I've got a message from you telling me not to worry. How did it get here? What's going on outside?"

Tony begins to answer but something May said clicks in Peter's head. He lifts it from where it's buried against her damp chest.

"You mean you don't remember?" He manages to get out through sniffles.

"Remember what? Was this to do with that alien attack? Did we all get knocked unconscious or…?"

"It's a long story," Tony replies wearily. He begins another brief explanation while the gears turn in Peter's brain.

She doesn't remember.

She doesn't remember the endless reality where they were both something and nothing. She doesn't have memories of endless fear and hopelessness. She doesn't remember any of it. To her, it all happened in the blink of an eye.

In fact, that was probably how it was for the rest of the world.

It's at that moment Peter realises he can't tell her. He can't risk her remembering. It's a burden he wouldn't wish upon anyone, especially not May. He'll just have to be strong. Be an Avenger and deal with it himself. He can do that. He has to.

Tony eventually leaves, treating Peter to a second, rough hug and a firm, "You let me know if you need anything, anything," and then May leads Peter into the leaving room where she makes him a hot coco and bundles him in a blanket warmed by the dryer. She doesn't tell him everything will be okay, mostly because she doesn't really understand just what's left Peter in the state he's in, but she does bathe him in love and at that moment, it almost feels like enough.

So this is part 1 of 2. I'm not going to lie, I've had one of the worst days ever today and I needed something to cheer me up, even if just a little bit.

I'd like it known I don't hate Peter (Quill) but the situation is just bringing out the worst in him. Everyone is just really stressed right now. Hopefully, I'll have the second part up by this time next week.

You can find me on tumblr as scarlett-ice where I might post some snippets for the next part.