How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful Chapter 1: The List, an avengers fanfic

Avengers || FrostIron || How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful || FrostIron || Avengers

Title: How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful – New and Improved Avengers

Fandom: Marvel | Avengers

Disclaimer: All rights reserved to Marvel Comics for the creation of some of the most awesome heroes ever. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.

Warnings: m/m, post Black Panther/Homecoming/Ragnarok, not Infinity War compliant, team as family, team building, fluff, PTSD, hurt/comfort, past child abuse, explicit intercourse, anal, oral, m/f, f/f

Main Pairing: Loki/Tony

Side Pairings: Valkyrie/Sif, Bruce/Jane, Rhodey/Carol, Happy/Pepper, T'Challa/Ororo

Wakanda: T'Challa | Black Panther, Shuri, Okoye, Ororo Munroe | Storm, James 'Bucky' Barnes

Summary: Post Civil War, Tony has to build a new team of Avengers. Aside from new recruits, there are also two well-known Avengers that return to Earth – with a ship full of refugees. New and more functional Avengers rise from the ashes of the old and new alliances, new friendships and even new relationships are formed. Though the biggest wild-card proves to be Loki, not entirely unexpected.

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful

New and Improved Avengers

Chapter 1: The List

Tony was holding a glass of whiskey in one hand, twirling it. He had been holding it for two hours now. He hadn't taken a sip yet. He had been sober for years now. But the thought...

He is my friend.

And the feeling of the shield coming down on his chest, breaking the armor and effectively breaking the fragile reconstructed bones in his sternum. He reached out with his other hand to tap the ARC reactor, newly put back in to hold his chest and keep him going.

He heaved a deep sigh as he looked at the list in front of him. Paper. No fancy holograms. Just simple, old-fashioned paper. A list. A short list. A pathetic list. Three columns.

Steve

Natasha

Clint

Sam

Wanda

Scott Lang

Wanted fugitives. Wanted terrorists. Former Avengers. People he had trusted – well, most of them at least – and who had betrayed him. Him and the team. He closed his eyes for a long moment.

(Rhodey)

Vision

(Peter)

The other column. The Avengers who still remained. Rhodey was still struggling with his recovery. Peter was just a teen. Tony was torn about him. In theory, putting him on the roster would be the right decision – because a team didn't just mean that Peter had to come when they called to risk his life. A team would mean that the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man would have a team to back him up. Someone he could call for help when he uncovered something too large to handle. Like, for example, the Vulture. Tony wished he would have been more available – but SI had been facing serious repercussions in the aftermath of the so-called Civil War to the point where Tony had to sell the Avengers Tower (granted, he also wanted to sell the blasted reminder of what had been). In an ideal situation, there would have been an actual team and while Tony was busy with SI, another Avenger could have come to aid Peter. That was what a team should do for each other.

That had never worked with the Avengers before though, that was never what the Avengers had been – and maybe that had been the root of their problems from the get-go. When Thor had returned to Earth after the whole Chitauri incident, he hadn't called any of the Avengers, he had dealt with the problem with the Dark Elves (Tony was still doubtful about that) alone with Jane and not long ago, there had been selfies from students posted online with Thor, who had again not called. Whenever Tony had faced a personal crisis, like the Mandarin, well, he couldn't find it in himself to ask his team for help either. When Steve found out Bucky was still alive and that HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD, he had taken it on alone with Natasha and Sam – and well, perhaps Tony should have seen that as a warning sign too. They had been thrown together without even knowing each other, in a crisis. And then, they had only come together again for the next crisis. There had been no team-building, no trust. Solo acts. Like Bruce just fucking off to who-knew-where.

Maybe that had always been the problem with the Avengers? They had never been a team. They had been a group of people put together out of convenience and nothing more. Tony's grip on his glass tightened, his hand shaking. Taking a deep breath, he put the glass down.

"Boss. You have an incoming call", announced FRIDAY.

Tony paused, blinking slowly. "I told you, I'm not... available."

"It's King T'Challa", informed FRIDAY.

Instinctively, Tony balled a fist, crumbling the chart. The list of Avengers. When the Black Panther had joined Tony's side during the Civil War, Tony had seen a chance for him to become an Avenger. But T'Challa had turned his back quickly for his own agenda and when it turned out he had been set up, he turned his back again. Flying off with Steve and Bucky, leaving Tony behind in the snow.

"Put him through", gritted Tony out.

Tony was no longer going to put his issues aside. He was going to face them. After everything with Steve, Tony was no longer going to let things sit. He stared head-on at T'Challa as the king's image appeared in front of him. Tony put on a suave smile.

"Simba, what can I do for you?", asked Tony nonchalantly.

"I feel like the two of us should talk", offered T'Challa calmly.

"It's been a couple of weeks. What has changed that you have something to say to me?", asked Tony, genuinely curious as he tilted back in his chair.

"I've been thinking about how things had gone down", started T'Challa, a strange emotion clouding his eyes. "Things... didn't go according to plan. And after I learned that Sargent Barnes, while not the murderer of my father is responsible for the death of your parents, I felt like there are things..."

Tony sighed and shook his head, prompting the king to pause. "I know he isn't. I know he was used. I know my anger aimed at him was as misplaced as that of Maximoff personally blaming me for her parents' death. He was used. But, at the time, being faced with the video evidence, reliving..."

"I understand", offered T'Challa gently and Tony found himself believing that. "You were enraged, in that moment. As I was after my father had died. On a wild hunt, not thinking clearly. That is why I wished to give you some time to cool down before we would talk."

"Are you hiding them all?", asked Tony bluntly.

"No", replied T'Challa, honestly. "I took in Barnes, to help him. To repent for my own... wrong judgment. But Wakanda does not take in wanted terrorists. And just because I wish to rekindle the injustice done to Sargent Barnes does not mean my stance on the Accords changed. As my father too, I still support the essentials of the Accords. They need amendments, they are far from perfect, but... After what I witnessed during the Civil War, as the press calls it, I feel the Accords are needed more than ever, Mister Stark. It was a personal disagreement among the team and it led to the mindless destruction of an entire airport and all vehicles and planes on it. In a foreign country where the American Avengers had no business. What Captain Rogers wanted was a free pass to come and go, to 'save lives', but that quarrel? There was no villain, there were no civilians being saved. It was an act of selfishness on all sides and no one should be able to walk away from such a thing unpunished. We have powers and abilities that make us physically superior to most civilians – but if we use those powers without any control, we would not be better than bullies."

"Fair points", offered Tony vaguely. "But what is the reason for your call, Puss in Boots?"

"Now that the dust has settled, I wanted to reach out to you. I want to work on the Accords with you, Mister Stark, and...", T'Challa paused and swallowed. "Now that I am the Black Panther, fully, and that Wakanda is opening up to the world, at the same time that two thirds of the Avengers have become wanted fugitives, I need you to know that I, personally, want to extend Wakanda's resources to the Avengers – in the form of me. I am a king, I will not just join every little battle you have, but I need you to know that if something like the Chitauri and Loki ever happen again, that I will come and I will help. The world needs someone willing to protect it."

"So, you want to help with the Accords and you want to be a reserve Avenger. Now, give me a good reason why I should agree to anything", countered Tony, both eyebrows raised. "Pardon my trust issues, but I literally just got stabbed in the chest by the co-leader of my previous team before he took custody of the kids and ran out on me."

T'Challa didn't even smile at Tony's attempt of a joke, instead he looked sorrowful. "Recently, after I returned home, I was... betrayed by an old friend. I think it is... part of why I have been considering all of this for the past few weeks. I have an offer to make to you, to show that you can trust me, as a team member. I will be sending a plane over to the Facilities, to pick up Colonel Rhodes. The way I have been informed, he has come out of surgery... not fully healed. Wakanda has the technology to heal him. Allow me to be a good teammate and help him."

"Okay, let me get this straight", grunted Tony and sat up. "You want to back me up with the council, you want to join the Avengers and in return you want to magically heal my best friend. What... What's in it for you with all of that, Cheshire Cat?"

This time, he got a small smile from T'Challa. "The Accords are not for you. They are for everyone. I stand behind them. I'm doing this for me. My kingdom. We are opening ourselves to the world and I am terrified to think of what would have been if such a thing like the Civil War had happened in my country. Superpowered beings coming into my home, destroying it and leaving it without any consequences. I stand by that responsibility. And me joining the Avengers on a need-only base is not me trying to make anything up to you. The Avengers are to protect the world from great disaster. I happen to live on this world, Mister Stark, and I would prefer for it to not be destroyed by aliens."

"Fair enough", nodded Tony, not quite used to others understanding the gravitas of a situation.

"As for Colonel Rhodes...", started T'Challa and frowned. "He got severely injured during a battle that should have never happened and I was his teammate at the time. We have the technology to heal him and if I can not even extend this human courtesy to a member of my team, what kind of man would I be? I hope to see you at the next Accords meeting and then we can talk in person about it. For now, the plane is going to reach New York in five hours. I understand your trust issues, Mister Stark, and I hope you see that I do none of those things to use you. Any of those offers are mutually beneficial for the both of us, Mister Stark. And, consequently, for the world. I hope the two of us can build a certain... trust, when working with each other. The Avengers and the Accords are both important for the world and Wakanda, no I, wish to be a part of them both."

T'Challa knew exactly that there was no way Tony would say no to the plane offer. He had been wrecking himself with guilt about Rhodey's injury since day one. The braces helped, but... to be able to walk on his own again? Tony took a deep breath and nodded slowly. As the call disconnected, Tony took a pen with a shaky hand and added one one to the second list.

(T'Challa)

Five, himself included. And if the king's offer really would work, if Rhodey could walk again, then there would at least be three regulars on the team. Tony, Rhodey and Vision. It wasn't much. It wasn't much, but it was at least something. And to know that T'Challa was willing to aid during an international crisis was mildly reassuring, though the king still had to regain Tony's trust.

Having someone to back him up on the Accords – specifically on the fact that they were inherently the right thing to do, but they were also flawed and needed to be adjusted (something that had never been out of the question anyway) – was a huge relief in itself.

Small steps.

Small steps to get back to normality. Or as close to it as possible. The past was done and it would never be that way again. The Avengers, as they had been, were gone. His eyes fell onto the third column on the list, something like sorrow grasping his heart.

Thor

Bruce

The ones where no one knew what had happened to them. Thor was, most likely, back on Asgard. Or so Jane had said the last time Tony had spoken to her. And Bruce... The Hulk surely would be keeping him alive, but beyond that? It was like he had just disappeared from this Earth.

Small steps. For now, he needed to focus on the things that were in his control. The Avengers and the Accords. There was no point in worrying about those out of reach.

/break\

Loki was bored out of his mind. He was sitting in his room on the spaceship, playing with the Tessaract. It had been too tempting to leave it to destruction. It was bad enough everything else had been destroyed. Loki preferred to have an ace up his sleeve and considering he wasn't entirely sure where all of this was going for him just yet – it'd be best to keep this little trump-card. Smiling slyly, Loki put the Tessaract back into a pocket dimension to keep it safe.

Getting up from his bed, he made his way down to the dining hall. It was incredibly loud on the ship. And as obnoxious as Loki thought that was, there was a strange part of him that disliked how easy it was to overlook everything. Everyone. These people, they were the last Asgardians. So many had died. All his life, Loki had fought for his place among them. He had craved to lead, the power – but both mainly for the acceptance. He had always been othered.

There was an odd sense of... community on this ship. Far different than on Asgard. The loss of their home had huddled the people together in a way Loki had never witnessed before.

He was even growing... fond of Thor. The way one would grow fond of a dumb dog. The loyalty, the overly enthusiastic excitement, everything about Thor, really. But having lost both Frigga and Odin, there was this strange sense there. He still had Thor and Thor still had him and in a twisted way, there would never be anyone who would understand them both as they each other. Even though Loki knew Thor would never truly understand him. Apparently, Thor was however the closest Loki would get. Not to mention, Loki was actually slightly more appreciative of the new Thor who was not falling for every single prank and deception from Loki.

Loki heaved a sigh as he entered the dining hall. It was easy to spot Thor – it was always easy to spot Thor, that was one thing that would never stop. The king – oh, it gave Loki physical pain to even think that but he supposed that if he was here to stay (for whatever reason), he needed to get used to this – was sitting with Bruce Banner at his side, the Valkyrie and Lady Sif opposite them.

Sif had teleported onto their ship a few nights ago, after contacting Heimdall. Apparently, she had missed out on the entire destruction and situation by being off-planet on a diplomatic mission. Loki had forgotten about that. Thor's ex had always been loyal to Thor so Loki had sent her away to get the nosy, suspicious woman out of his hair while he was playing Odin. Turned out that had most likely saved her life. The Warriors Three were dead, most of Asgard's strongest warriors were.

"Brother! Come sit with us!", called Thor out.

There was a time when Loki had found Thor's bright attitude incredibly tiresome and thought him dumb for it. Recent events had put things into perspective. Where loss made Loki bitter and vindictive, Thor seemed to always find some angle to be optimistic and think about the future. Loki would rather be found dead than admit this aloud, but after everything they had recently endured together, Loki found it nearly admirable. In the end, that might just be why he was still here. Why he hadn't returned to a nice, cozy life on Sakaar and instead decided to stay here. Because he had learned to appreciate Thor, in his own way. Had grown fond of Thor, in his own way.

"We've been traveling for weeks. You gonna share our destination, blondie?", asked Valkyrie.

She had both eyebrows raised as she stared Thor down. Intrigued, Loki sat down next to his brother. He had been wondering the same thing. Most had been wondering the same thing. The Asgardians were growing restless. They couldn't keep living on this ship.

"Midgard", replied Thor seriously.

"...Midgard?", echoed Sif and Valkyrie doubtfully.

Loki noted how resigned Bruce Banner looked. The Midgardian knew exactly where Thor wanted to go and judging by the look on his face, Bruce expected that to not go very smoothly.

"Thor has helped save the world once, had helped with Sokovia. He proved that not all aliens are bad. And since you come seeking refuge after your planet was destroyed...", started Bruce, not sounding overly convinced himself. "And we have to warn Earth about Thanos."

Loki sneered at the name. The memory of the Mad Titan twisting his way into Loki's mind and manipulating the master manipulator – it still didn't sit right with him, even after all these years. After all, what would Loki have gained? He had never been a follower.

Thanos wanted the Infinity Stones, the further the Asgardians had been traveling, the more news and rumors they had heard. Not that Loki hadn't heard enough from the Grandmaster on Sakaar. He had tales to tell of the so-called Guardians of the Galaxy – and oh, the most dreadful thing about the 'good guys' was their cringeworthy habit of giving themselves ridiculous names.

"We know for a fact that there are two Infinity Stones on Midgard", stated Loki thoughtfully, summoning a glass of wine. "The Time Stone with that blasted wannabe magician."

Loki glared at the dopey grin on Thor's face as he thought back on Loki falling for half an hour. "And the Mind Stone that was used to create the Vision."

"How did two Infinity Stones end up on such a backwater planet?", muttered Valkyrie, shaking her head before pausing. "No offense, Banner."

"None taken", grunted Bruce.

"I'm sure you're looking forward to seeing your team again, right?", asked Sif curiously.

Bruce winced at that. It intrigued Loki. He loved chaos and discord and from everything he had gathered so far, Bruce Banner had left his home-planet in a very entertaining manner, leaving chaos and discord behind. This could prove to be very entertaining for Loki.

"Clint is not going to be happy to see Loki", pointed Bruce out. "Neither is Steve. Or... the rest of the world, actually. Stuttgart in particular."

"I'm a reformed man, Doctor Banner", drawled Loki with an innocent smile.

Bruce heaved a defeated sigh at that, making Loki smile even brighter. This was going to be fun.

Author's note: My first Avengers fic. Over the years, I have gathered so many headcanons and things I would want to see - it really is due time for me to write them all down.

Fair warning; this is going to be a slow-burn. It's going to focus a lot on how the new team comes together, on their dynamics and how they grow closer.

I want a solid friendship for Tony and T'Challa - the likes for which I have laid the basics out here, because I think that particuarly after the events of Black Panther and the betrayal of his own close friend, he'd feel more for this. I also want Shuri and Peter to become friends. And oh, there are so many more.

But this was mainly born out of how utterly ridiculous the idea is that by the time Infinity War rolls around, TWO YEARS after Civil War, the Avengers are still literally only Tony, a still crippled Rhodey and Vision. That's it. That's the Avengers. After two years. Seriously? That's so unrealistic. I get why they didn't push another Avengers movie in between where they recruit more characters because then Infinity War would be even more ridiculously overcrowded, but let's be real, in-universe that is just absolutely ridiculously stupid.

Also partially prompted by how Infinity War decided to have Rhodey do a 180 on the Accords and hug Cap like an old friend. Literally contradicting... the entire damn Civil War movie. That just fueled my saltiness about Civil War back on.

So have a post-Civil War fic that actually focuses on rebuilding the Avengers. Featuring a couple Asgardians thrown in and one Asgardian in particular, who's going to help Tony rebuild himself.

Lastly - and I apologize for the long note - if part of this seems familiar, that's because I teased the story on my tumblr. Come visit me at takaraphoenix for teasings, headcanons or to bitch with me about shit.

And as with all my fics, you can find it on my updating schedule on my profile to stay on top of all updates. ;)