Author's Note: Oh my god, the final chapter! I cannot believe that we're finally here at long last. Wow. To think, this story was originally conceived as a smut oneshot. At one point I totally thought that this was going to be another incomplete project, and truthfully somewhere around chapter 9 & 10 I did seriously consider taking a break (which absolutely would have led to me abandoning the story). Not because no one was reading the story or anything, but because I was just tired. I'm so happy now that I didn't, and I'm super proud to have finally finished this. All my gratitude and appreciation to all you readers, especially those who at any point, took the time to leave a comment. I've received so many which were absolutely lovely, and they really were my fuel to keep going. So thank you all! And without further ado, here's the final chapter and conclusion to the longest fanfiction I've ever written. Enjoy~

Eren doesn't take it well is an understatement. He's wary from the moment he shows up at their meeting spot, a far cry from how enthusiastic he had sounded in his reply text. Which is unsurprising considering that after that exchange and confirmation, she refused all other meetings with him. The one time she does see him before this is during their Wednesday class, which she approached professionally, treating him just as any other student of hers. He was confused even then, but never said anything at the time, choosing instead to later send a text asking if there's anything going on. Her reply is that they'll talk on Friday. So of course he's wary. She has painted today in a rightfully ominous light. The fact that their meeting spot is a public park far out at the edge of the city that neither of them have ever been to, probably doesn't help matters.

But it is better this way. It will be easier to bring up the topic when he's already suspecting something is wrong. But knowing, deep down inside, and suspecting, through the clues that have been dropped, doesn't make it easier to swallow. It doesn't make it hurt less.

"I cheated on you."

Said like that, without preamble, she cannot blame his resulting reaction. He looks like she slapped him. He looks like he doesn't believe her. But she doesn't want to beat around the bush, to small talk them both to distraction, to let him think that this meeting is anything other than what it is.

"What...what are you saying, Annie?"

She had hoped that he wouldn't have this sort of reaction, because making her repeat it will only make things harder. She takes in a breath, turning to face him and his widened, shaky eyes, and gets to the heart of it. "I cheated on you, and I want to break up."

The cycle of emotions in his expression is difficult to watch, and every switch weighs heavier on her heart. From shock, to disbelief, to confusion, to hurt, to anger. Anger is the one he ends up holding on to, letting it burn a fire in his eyes as his brows slant furiously. But she has expected this, and it is much preferable to hurt and confusion. That's why she prefaced with the cheating and not breaking up. What she doesn't expect is what he says.

"So that's what it was."

It has her heart leaping up to her throat when coupled with the look of comprehension on his face, like he's figured something out. "You knew?"

"I knew something was off about you, since Christmas. Fuck, I knew it! Was that when it happened?" Then his eyes widens further as he comes to another realization, and he fumes. "It was during the party, wasn't it? Someone you met there? Who was it?! Those were my friends!"

She almost flinches at his onslaught, swallowing thickly as she stares back at him. The relief that he doesn't actually know what she thought he knows is short lived, because now she doesn't know how, or even if, she should tell him that he is wrong on all counts. That it happened far, far earlier, that it continued until just recently, that it was someone far, far closer to him than his friends. Then she realizes despairingly that every one of those truths would destroy him. Because how could she tell him that it in fact started in July, and that it was somehow for his benefit, without telling him how it started and who she was with? If all she could say about it is when and how long, all that would do is make him believe that over half their relationship is a farce. And that's not it at all. She truly wanted it to work. It wasn't until November that it became clear to her that it simply isn't. But it is likely not a kindness either for him to find out that she stayed four months with him in a relationship that she considered has failed. That she was not invested in salvaging. That she used to stay with someone else. Because he tried to fix it. He tried hard.

"Eren." She closes her eyes and exhales, knowing that he isn't going to like what she's about to say. But it is also the truth of the matter, and if there is a time to say it, it is now. She opens her eyes again and gazes resolutely into his. "Who it was isn't important."

"What?" he scoffs, baffled first, and then scowling hard with outrage. "What do you mean it isn't important? You cheated with someone and you're hiding who it is! Tell me!"

There's a flicker in his eyes then, one that she quickly knows is him going through his memories, trying to remember that night to see if there was anyone she had been particularly close with. She heads him off before he starts naming names, for it will only do more harm for him to be suspicious of his friends. Besides, the only ones she stuck to that night was him, Reiner and Bertholdt, and Armin. Although, it is not too far-fetched that he might make the connection to Mikasa, considering the gingerbread cookies she received right after. She needs to ensure he doesn't go there.

"It's not from the party. It's not anyone I met that night," she insists, and it is easy to say when it is the truth. She didn't meet Mikasa for the first time there after all. Then she immediately presses on to the true heart of the matter, steering him away from his preoccupation with the identity of the person she cheated with. Because the cheating itself is not the problem. However it is the symptom of the real problem. "Eren, listen to me," she says softly, calmly, hoping it cuts through his anger. "I'm not breaking up with you because I cheated on you. Even without the cheating, we wouldn't work out in the long run. We might have lasted longer, but it would have ended up the same."

"Why?! I don't get it Annie, did I do something wrong?" he asks, and it's clear that what she says has muddled with how he feels, adding questions and confusion to the mix, but his tone is still laced with anger. "Weren't we fine just last week? Now suddenly you want to break up? We wouldn't work out? You cheated on me? Where is this all coming from?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," she replies quickly because if there's one thing she needs him to know, it is that. And then she injects as much gentleness as she can in her voice, in her demeanor, in her gaze, but she knows none of that will actually soften the blow. "It's been there from very early, but you didn't do anything wrong, Eren. I want you to know that."

He only looks even more confused. "Then why?"

She swallows, curls her fingers into her fists, but she doesn't look away from his face. She owes him that much. "Because I don't love you, Eren."

Annie sees the moment her words set in and his anger deflate, because while he can be angry at a third party, at the 'bad' person she cheated with whom he can blame, he can't do the same with her feelings. He takes a step back, breaking their eye contact as he sways on his feet. "I...I don't understand. You don't...we've been together a year. Why would you if you don't...?"

It physically hurts to watch him struggle with her confession, and even if part of her is relieved it's finally out there, the other part longs to reach out to him and hold him steady because she has never seen him like this. So disoriented. So crushed. And it hurts to hurt him. "I do like you, Eren. My feelings for you were genuine when we got together. I thought we were compatible. I still think we are compatible. But I know now that that compatibility is that of a friend," she says, stressing that last line clearly, and he flinches. "It just never went beyond that for me. I thought that in time it might change, that I might want the same things you want. But I don't. And every time even the smallest hint that you want to take things further shows up, I panic. Eventually we would arrive here all the same. Do you see?"

"But I...I'm taking things slow like you wanted, right? I know I moved too fast initially, like woah, going out of my way to get you to meet my dad without even telling you, but I said I was sorry about that," he says, his voice and movements now tinged with desperation. He's trying to keep things together, to hold on to the strings that binds them. "Didn't we agree to take things slow? I can slow down further. We don't need to break up."

But those strings are no longer tied on her end. Perhaps they never were. And now, she's not even holding on to it anymore. "I'm sorry, Eren," she says, and that is enough. His gaze fills up with dread at her apology, but she steels herself and goes on. "When I agreed to take it slow, I didn't really mean it. I never really tried. I simply didn't want to hurt you. Even if we don't break up now, if you convince me to stay, my feelings won't change. I won't try, and you deserve someone better than me, someone who wouldn't give you empty promises and lie to you."

His jaw tenses as he listens to her, as does his neck, his shoulders, his entire being, and then he's moving, taking small steps to the bench just beside them, which he silently sinks into. Elbows on his knees, he buries his face into his hands as he lets out a shuddering breath, and she contemplates if she should approach him or stay exactly where she is. In the end pity moves her, and she crosses over the distance to stand before him. Just that, just to let him know she's there, but she doesn't sit, and she doesn't attempt to comfort him. He lifts his head slightly, looking at her face and likely realizing why she's there. Likely realizing it's the same reason she stayed with him for at least four months. Then he inhales deeply, an anguished glint in his eyes.

"Back then...were you already seeing that someone else?"

She wishes he wouldn't ask this. If only so she needn't pile on to his pain. But she owes him this. So she steels herself and answers. "Yes."

His fingers press into his face and he nods bitterly, if only to acknowledge her answer. He lets out another hard exhale. "Who is it?"

"Eren—"

"Is it someone I know?" he cuts her off, his eyes practically pleading her. "Tell me at least that."

"It won't change anything, Eren. What are you going to even do with that information?"

"I won't do anything. I just want to know. Please."

He picks up on what she's implying but does not say, and refutes it. For what it's worth, she believes him, and she wishes she could give him at least that, the knowledge. If that someone had been anyone else, perhaps she could. But her belief that he would not go and confront the other person, that he would be aware that this happened because of her feelings and not because the other person won her over, that this is not a competition and he hasn't been bested, ends where Mikasa's name begins.

"It's not any of your friends from the party," she repeats, and that's as far as she dares say.

But it is not what he wants to hear, and his forced in breath reflects his disappointment, his recognition of the very fact that by refusing to tell him who it is, she has implicitly stated that she values the other person more than him. And he immediately switches gear.

"I don't care that you cheated. I don't care who it is," he says, abruptly grabbing her hand. "I probably pushed you to it because I was going too fast, or whatever. But you told me the truth, you know? I'm not angry, so let's just put that behind us."

His grip on her hand is punishing, getting tighter each second she does not respond in kind. She drops her gaze. "Eren—"

"We don't need to break up!" he stresses, his voice getting strained now. "I love you, Annie, and I can do better. Just tell me what I need to do, I'll do it."

Her eyes grows wide as she stares down at him because that's the first time he's ever said he loves her. She's known for very long now that he does, but he hasn't actually said it before until now. That he doesn't hesitate, that he doesn't even seem to realize that he's said it, tells her that he probably thinks of it a lot. That in his head, he says it to her often. But, just as her love is a burden to Mikasa, his love is a burden to her. She looks down again at where Eren is desperately holding her hand, and she swallows for steadiness. For forgiveness.

"You need to let me go, Eren."

The look on his face after she says that haunts her for days. The sensation of his hands slipping off hers as they fall listless to his sides, his unresponsive form sitting on the bench for long, long minutes, cuts deep. But it is done now. It is finally done now. She doesn't see him anymore after that, nor text, nor call. He sends one text early on, still in shock and denial, pleading with her to tell him everything is a joke. She only apologizes again, and he does not reply. Subsequently, he ceases to show up during their training sessions even though he does not officially quit, and while she isn't the type of teacher to chase after her students, she makes an exception for him. He doesn't answer, not even when she calls from the office number, and so she leaves it at that.

She doesn't tell anyone what has happened as it really isn't anyone else's business, but Reiner showing up at her place exactly a week later, a hard frown on his face, indicates to her that Eren hasn't been doing the same. Bertholdt is in tow, but he stays out of it, very clearly standing more to her side even, which she silently appreciates.

"What is going on, Annie?" Reiner demands, evidently miffed about more than just the news. "Bert seems to know exactly what's up. This is what you two have been keeping me out of, isn't it?"

"Eren and I broke up," she supplies. "I'm sure that's why you're even here right now. Asking me what's going on isn't going to change that fact."

"He said you cheated on him! That's what I'm asking about," he barks. "How could you do that to him?"

She sighs, looking down to concede to him. "Yes I did. Yes it was terrible of me. Yes he doesn't deserve that. Yes I wronged him. Yes I know that I've hurt him, and yes I'm sorry about it. But I can't change what has happened. Letting him go is the best I can do for him."

His nostrils flare with justified displeasure. "Annie, I thought you like Eren. Weren't you two really compatible? Why would you need to cheat on him? Why did you even cheat? That's so not like you. If there was anything wrong why didn't you talk to him? He says that this came out of nowhere. If it was something you couldn't say to him, you could have told us-" he gestures at himself and Bertholdt, and then he appears to remember that Bertholdt does know, and he casts Bertholdt a brief glare. "-or well, you could have told me. I could have helped you try to fix things."

Her gaze slides over to Bertholdt right then, sharing a look of understanding because there it is, Reiner's subtle steering of her to stay with Eren, and attempted fix-it's for all the problems in their relationship. Had Bertholdt not known beforehand, he would be there too, standing with Reiner giving her the same fix-it's. Now Bertholdt just stays quiet, unwilling to vocally take sides, and that's fine. She doesn't doubt that Reiner must be unhappy with him too.

She turns back to Reiner. "There is nothing I could have told you because nothing was so wrong in our relationship that we couldn't handle ourselves. There is nothing to fix. I do like him, and yes, we are compatible."

Reiner scowls. "Then what was the issue?"

"I'm in love with the person I cheated with, Reiner," she states, staring evenly at him. "That's all there is to it."

It hits him the same way it hits Bertholdt. Out of nowhere, with shock and surprise. And seeing it for the second time, the look of judgement and criticism, she realizes that it's not actually directed at her. It is directed at themselves, at their realization of how they've been caught up in their own ideals for her, at their realization that they've not been attentive to how she feels. She senses Reiner backing down instantly, but not before one last push.

"And you don't love Eren?"

She shakes her head, answering firmly. "No."

Bertholdt sticks around a little longer after Reiner leaves and without needing to be the buffer, he finally approaches her properly. "Are you all right?"

She smiles at him in gratitude. "Yeah, thanks. Will you be all right?"

He smiles too. "Reiner will come around. He and Eren are quite close after all, so I think he feels obligated to side with him."

"I know, and it's good that he does," she replies, nodding. "Someone should. Armin is away, and Mikasa is...well, you know. No one else is close enough to the both of us to butt in."

"Don't stay away though. Come to the diner and talk to him. He probably wants to be happy for you. Did you see his face when you said you're in love with Mikasa?"

She nods again. "I did, yeah. It's the same face you made. Don't worry, I'll pay a visit once tempers settle."

He moves closer then, joining her in leaning on the back of the couch. He is not subtle at all with what he asks next. "Speaking of Mikasa..."

She turns her head, not amused at his trailing off. It's obvious what he wants to know. And perhaps because it's him, there is no need for subtlety. "We've split," she replies. "Since before the break up. Which is a good thing. Regardless of the fact that she knows it's coming, I imagine seeing Eren like this would be tough on her. She'd be upset with me, and with herself. So it's better we have some distance."

Bertholdt nods, taking in the information. "I see. And how long does this distance last?"

"I don't know," she shrugs helplessly. "I really don't."

He smiles at her reply, a gentle, compassionate smile. "Do you want me to...pass a message, or something?"

That has her snorting out a laugh. "No! We're not kids refusing to talk to each other unless by proxy." But her laugh tapers off too fast, and then her shoulders slump down as she tilts her head up contemplatively. "I'm just waiting. And when she's ready, if she ever is again, then she'll come find me, I guess. I hope."

In his eyes she sees the unvoiced question; 'What if she's not? Ever?' and she's glad he doesn't ask it, because she doesn't want to consider it either. When they parted that night, it seemed imminent. Like it was simply a matter of time before they would come together again. But anything can change within that time. Circumstances. Feelings. Maybe while she's waiting, Mikasa might realize just how difficult it actually is for them to be together, how much disapproval they'll face. Maybe while she's waiting, Mikasa might continue her Jean cover, and somehow it becomes real. Maybe while she's waiting, Mikasa might move on instead. Those are depressing thoughts to entertain. But they are not an impossibility either. Clearly, her sombreness shows in her face for she suddenly finds Bertholdt wrapping an arm around her shoulder in a gesture of comfort. She accepts it and doesn't shake him off.

"I hope she'll be ready soon," he says.

She hopes so too, except she doesn't know how soon is soon. How long does it take for it to be considered long enough? And does she do nothing in the interim? That seems like exactly the sort of thing that will make her depressing scenarios come true. But at the same time, if she tries to do anything other than wait, then it wouldn't be Mikasa's sole decision anymore. She made this happen the first time, if it is to happen again, it should come from Mikasa. She's thrown the ball into Mikasa's court, figuratively. Mikasa is the one who has her key. Mikasa should want it enough to seek her out. But she hears from Mikasa only once in this whole time, a couple of days after the break up, with a text asking what is going on and why she has broken things off with Eren. It confuses her for all of three minutes before she realizes that this is Mikasa playing the good sister, finding out more on behalf of her brother, trying to smooth things out if she can. Annie replies with the exact same thing she tells Eren. And that was the end of that.

It crosses her mind that she could go home, to her hometown, to pass the time for a bit. Since all she's doing is waiting. Living in the same city as Eren and Mikasa, and having now integrated their social circles, she's bound to run into someone at some point. Maybe she should go away for now until things settle. Maybe this is the excuse she needs to finally pay her father a visit. Maybe now is the time to tell him about what's been going on with her, about the ex-boyfriend of a year he's never even heard of, and how she's now pining for said ex's sister. That is certainly an awkward subject to broach. She finds though, now that she's thinking about it, that she does want to tell him about Mikasa. Even if they never get together, she wants to tell him that Mikasa exists. That she feels for her. She doesn't know what that would do really, but maybe, she no longer wants Mikasa to be a secret. And he is someone she can tell without worrying about jeopardizing anyone.

Armin shows up a week later, having returned from his research trip. He waits for her outside the gym after hours, unannounced, probably believing that she might try to avoid him if he told her beforehand. And maybe she might have. She can deal with Eren, with Reiner, with a pretending Mikasa, with anyone else who is now a mutual friend meddling into her business, but Armin knows. They both know he knows. And that's intimidating to deal with. He doesn't immediately barrage her with questions or accusations, however. He is his usual self, all smiles and cheeriness, asking her out to dinner together, and they go to their usual cafe. But neither of them orders food.

"Is there something going on between you two?"

—is his first question after all the small talk is out of the way, and with his neutral expression and tone, it genuinely catches her off guard. Because it is impossible that he does not know. Even if Eren nor Mikasa say anything, Armin would see it in their faces.

"What do you mean?" she asks in return. "Eren and I broke up. You must have heard already."

He shakes his head, not making eye contact with her as he drinks his tea. "Not with Eren. With Mikasa."

It is entirely unsettling that he's just sitting there calmly sipping his tea, asking her a question he already knows the answer too. She picks up her coffee, sips it too to buy herself some time. There is no point in denying or deflecting with him. If he wanted to tell Eren, he would have already. And if she's going to spill the beans, she may as well satisfy her curiosity at the same time.

"How did you figure it out?"

He places his cup down, glancing across the table at her. "You were unusually curious about Mikasa at the start, asking very specific questions. Then when we went to the beach, Mikasa straight up lied that you and her were arguing about jellyfish. She lied well, but it showed in your face that you had no idea what she was talking about. Neither of those mean much on their own of course, and it's only when the three of us started having lunches together that something started to stand out."

She's disquieted by his noticing of things so early on. She's disquieted that one of it was her own confusion she couldn't check. But those weren't what allowed him to put things together, and she should have known the lunches were the key. "What actually tipped you off?"

He leans back on his chair. "The way you two interacted with each other. Something about it always seemed strange, and I couldn't put a finger on what it was. That is, until I hypothesized that both of you were pretending to not get along, then your behaviours started to make sense. And when I thought about why you two would do that, why you two are pretending not to like each other, everything clicked into place. Even you asking if Mikasa was with anyone."

Annie frowns. "If you've known for a while why didn't you say anything until now?"

"Because I didn't want to believe it. I convinced myself I must be wrong. I wanted my suspicions to be wrong. Because it's Mikasa. I couldn't believe that she would do this, or anything that would hurt Eren."

"Mikasa is allowed to want things for herself, to be happy."

"She is," Armin agrees easily. "She absolutely is. And I would have supported her, I would have supported you both, if you weren't doing this behind Eren's back. Why did you have to do it like this?"

She sighs, placing her cup down and leaning back on her chair as well, folding her arms. "What does that matter anymore now? In wanting to keep one, and then the other, I've lost them both. And you, Armin?" she regards him seriously from across the table. "Are you going to stop talking to me too?"

He shrugs. "That depends. Who started it?"

"I did," she answers quickly. "I forced her into it, and I'm the one who kept it going."

He stares at her for a while and she meets it, glaring him into believing what she says, before he smiles small. "No one can force Mikasa into doing anything she doesn't want to, Annie. Maybe if it happened only once, I could believe you. But for it to have gone on for months, that means Mikasa must have agreed to it too. Although it speaks well of your relationship that you're protecting her. Is that why you haven't told Eren everything?"

"I have told him everything. What is important is that I cheated, not who I cheated with."

"You don't think he deserves to know?"

"Stay out of it, Armin," she snaps, slamming one hand on the surface of the table. She can't help that he knows, just as she can't help if he's already said anything. But if he hasn't, and if he is now planning to say something that will get Mikasa into trouble, then there's no way she's standing aside for that. "I promised her that I'll keep her out of it. I'm the one who started this, so there is no need for her to suffer as well. If she wants to come clean at some point, then she can. But I will not be making that decision for her, and neither will you."

His eyes are wide at the physical expression of her ire, and his gaze drops to her hand on the table before he lifts his in surrender. "Of course, I don't think he should hear it from me, so I won't say anything."

She sees sincerity in his expression, or at least what she hopes is sincerity, and she relaxes, reaching for her coffee to return her calm. There isn't anything she can do to ensure his silence anyway, so she'll have to trust him. She drinks, and similarly, he drinks too as they watch each other from across the table. But whereas she takes only a mouthful for steadiness, he empties his cup. She lowers hers, wary, and he stands up.

"Perhaps you believe you're sparing her the pain. But there is relief in reproach, as you know. I think Mikasa will only feel guiltier every time she sees Eren," Armin says, picking up the bill. "This is on me. Thanks for making time for me."

"Armin," she calls out before he can leave the table. He halts and looks down at her. "Mikasa needs a friend right now, not judgement."

He raises his eyebrows, as though surprised, and then he smiles. "Of course. I care about them both. I'll see you around, Annie."

She lies in bed that night, hands over her face in absolute uneasiness after the exchange with Armin and the things he said. Particularly his parting implication that she doesn't care for Eren, which very quickly leads her to an uncomfortable realization that not once in their entire conversation did she ask about Eren, about his well being after the break up, while at the same time being all too ready to jump at Mikasa's defense and to express concern over her. It's nothing new to her, but she wanted to believe that she cared about him more than this. That she cares enough to ask his best friend how he's doing, even if it's just a courtesy question. Armin probably wanted to believe that she does too. The scales are tipped, however, and when presented together, she cannot help which of them will weigh more.

But that's not the only thing that stays with her. Relief in reproach, he says. She hadn't even considered before this, that she could be the one having it easier, having confessed all she needed to while Mikasa is still keeping it all inside. She does remember feeling immensely relieved when she finally let it all out. Could she actually be denying Mikasa this relief? Isn't this what Mikasa herself preferred? And then she sighs, turning onto her side to look at the edge of her bed where they shared their final conversation. Where she talked Mikasa into accepting that keeping it quiet is the better option. It is a bitter thing to realize that she had been making the decision for Mikasa.

There is no way to turn it around now, however. Not without asking Mikasa first. If anything, it would be far worse to reveal it now anyway, for it would become clear to Eren that Mikasa had spent the past two weeks pretending not to know anything. The one time to reveal it that she could have convinced Eren that the blame is primarily hers, that she could persuade Eren not to get angry at Mikasa, was during the break up. And that has passed. She has to trust Mikasa's own judgement now, that if Mikasa reveals it, it is of her own volition, and because it is absolutely needed. Curling her body into a ball, she takes out her phone and accesses her sound files. Finding a specific ninety-second voice clip, she plays it and closes her eyes.

"Could I ask you a favour?"

Bertholdt, surprised by her request, attends to her immediately, leaving the counter to a staff as he sits down at the table with her. "What is it?"

She makes a disheartening revelation in the aftermath of the break up. Her social circle had always been small, but in the past year, it had expanded. She got together with Eren, she secretly spent lots of time with Mikasa, she often had lunch dates with Armin, and now she's been cut off from all of them all at once. The loss reminds her of how small her social circle was before them, and how small it is again now.

"I'm taking some time off, going home," she announces. It was only a vague thought initially, but after her encounter with Armin, she has no desire to have another such confrontation. With anyone.

"Home? Russia?"

She nods. "Yeah."

He smiles, understanding. "Going away for a bit?"

She nods again. "Yeah."

"When?"

"Next week. Thought that if I'm going to leave, it might as well be sooner rather than later."

This time he nods, agreeing. "Do you know how long you're staying?"

"I've taken a month off work, but I haven't decided if I'll be there the entire month. Maybe I'll go travelling. Go on a journey of self discovery or something," she replies, shrugging.

"Sounds nice," he says almost dreamily, "if you do go travelling anyway. And? What's the favour?"

She takes a deep breath, lacing her fingers together on the table as she looks at him. "I think it's still too early to see Mikasa, or to contact her. But since I'll be away for while, I want to know that she's okay. So could you check in on her for me?"

"Check in on her?" he asks in return. "How?"

"Pay her a visit? See if she's okay? I think she should be, but..." she trails off, unable to quite imagine what it would be like for Mikasa to not be okay. She's not sure what she would even do if that's the case. Break the distance they're keeping by going to see her? Or just fret about it on her own?

"How will I know if she's okay?"

Bertholdt's follow up brings her back, and she considers it. "I think it will be obvious if she's not okay."

But Bertholdt lifts a skeptical brow and she gets his skepticism, because Mikasa is like her in that regard. She wouldn't let it show that she's not okay. He doesn't press it however, probably knowing that she has no other idea anyway. "Want me to pass a message? Should I tell her you're going away for a bit?"

She shakes her head. "No. Only if she asks, but don't offer it."

He frowns. "What if she comes looking for you while you're away? How will she know where you've gone?"

She presses her palms together, letting out a resigned breath at his question. "I suppose, if it matters to her enough, she'll find out."

Bertholdt keeps frowning, clearly not agreeing with her reasoning, and she admits there are holes in it. Like she's making things harder for Mikasa, like she wants Mikasa to prove herself. But it isn't like that. She doesn't want to make it seem like she's urging Mikasa to make a call by offering a 'deadline'. Her reasoning is simple. If Mikasa does want her enough, she will find out where she's gone. If Mikasa does want her enough, she will ask after her without Bertholdt even needing to offer the information. And if Mikasa does want her enough, then this time apart, truly apart, won't even matter. It will simply be part of the waiting.

A plate being placed down loudly on the table startles them both.

"Why are you two staring at each other like that? Is Bert the one you're cheating with, Annie?"

Reiner looms over the both of them, standing next to the table with his arms crossed and a hard slant on his eyebrows. Bertholdt immediately springs to his feet.

"Wha—what are you talking about, Reiner?! Of course not!"

Reiner sits him back down, a finger on his lips. "Sssh!" And indeed, a number of patrons are now looking their way due to Bertholdt's outburst. "I know, my mistake for saying something like that. Sorry."

Her bulkier friend sits down too, and she swallows with queasiness at his words. "Sorry Reiner," she says first, and he instantly turns to her. "That I kept you out of the loop."

Bertholdt grows still, sitting as quietly as he can to the side, as Reiner scrutinizes her for long seconds from across the table. He goes from frown, to no frown, to frown again, and she wonders what is going through his mind, if he's deliberating whether or not to scold her, but finally he sighs heavily and unfolds his arms.

"You probably thought that I would have told Eren, and you're right, I would have," Reiner says truthfully, but it doesn't make her feel better about it. "Regardless of your reasons, or your feelings, I would have determined that what you did was wrong, and I would do the right thing by telling on you. I wouldn't care that it's none of my business. Then things would blow up, you would get mad pissed at me, you would never trust me with anything ever again, and we wouldn't be having this conversation right now, probably. Maybe you wouldn't even consider me a friend anymore." Then he heaves another heavy sigh as he leans forward on the table, casting a quick glance at Bertholdt before focusing on her again. "And you know, the outcome would be exactly the same as it is now, you breaking up with Eren and all, except there would be something irreparable between us. Years of friendship ruined because I can't keep my mouth shut, and poor Bert here would be caught between us both. So you were right to keep it from me."

"Oh," she replies, blinking back against Reiner's outpouring of words. She focuses on his last sentence. "So we're okay?"

"It still sucks to be kept out of the loop, so you're eating that as a payback," he points at the plate he placed down earlier, "and then we're okay."

Annie looks down at said plate, seeing it filled with broccoli. Just broccoli. Obviously boiled, and cut into bite sized florets, but with absolutely nothing else. "Um, I'm not a picky eater who doesn't eat her vegetables. How is this payback?"

"That many broccoli, and it gets pretty revolting after a while. Trust me."

"Right. Okay." She picks up her fork just as Bertholdt leans in and whispers to her.

"Nikolo messed up the order and we just have too much broccoli."

"Hey!" Reiner exclaims, smacking Bertholdt's shoulder. "Don't tell her that."

Bertholdt just smiles at Reiner with a shrug, and she smiles too as she watches them, before digging in to her plate of broccoli.

"Thanks Reiner."

"Yeah well, just wait until you're halfway through and all you can taste is green," he says, and then almost sheepishly he adds, "And if you do anything like this again, and I'm gonna give you a bigger plate of broccoli. And broccoli soup. Now eat up. You're not leaving my sights until you polish that plate.

It never gets as revolting as Reiner claims it would, and as he makes good on his word to stay and watch until she's done eating, she takes the opportunity to ask for a favour from him as well. Regardless of the fact that she and Eren are no longer dating, he is still her student. But he's not answering her calls, and she suspects that he's not even reading her texts, both of which is troubling for her role towards him in a professional capacity. So she asks Reiner to pass along the message to make sure that Eren gets it. That she will be away for a while. That she truly enjoyed teaching him. That she understands if he wants to quit. And that if he doesn't quit, she'll keep his Wednesdays slot open indefinitely, so he can always come back if he wants. Reiner gives her a head pat at the end, and this time she lets him do it.

She gets a text from Bertholdt a few days later, finally reporting his check in on Mikasa. Mikasa seems okay, visibly, and she says she's okay too. But I didn't ask her too much since that's a bit awkward. And as you wanted, I didn't offer her anything. The update fills her with a mix of relief and disappointment. On the one hand, she's glad that Mikasa seems all right, that she's functionally okay. But on the other hand, it also seems as though Mikasa didn't ask about her after all. Rationally, she knows that it doesn't have to mean anything. It doesn't have to mean that Mikasa doesn't care. But rationality and Mikasa don't go together, and so the disappointment is there. Profound. It makes her glad she's actually going away for a bit. It's a chance for her to get away from this feeling, to clear her mind, and it's an easier to swallow excuse that the distance between them is real instead of the self imposed one it actually is.

It only dawns on her that her deduction is flawed on the eve of her trip, when she's in the kitchen peeling potatoes to make herself a potato salad, and she hears knocking on her front door. Not just any knocks, but a very familiar two rap pattern. She freezes, her breath catching as she instantly drops everything to stride to the door, almost stumbling in her haste. Pulling it open without hesitation, she makes a mental note to toss Bertholdt over his ass at who she sees. Because while it may be her deduction that is flawed, she's quite certain his phrasing is also deliberate in leading her to that conclusion. But she realizes now. Him not offering anything doesn't equate to him not being asked anything. She lets out a shaky breath as her heartbeat rises and warmth blooms in her chest. Five weeks is not the longest separation for them, but it still feels like it has been far too long.

"Mikasa."

"Annie." Mikasa's voice is muffled by her scarf, which she reaches up to pull down before she speaks again. "Hey."

"Hey," she replies in return, not really knowing what to say. Still entirely flummoxed that Mikasa is actually here as she stands rooted on the spot.

Mikasa flashes her a small smile, and then she clears her throat. "Can I come in?"

That is not a question that even needs to be asked, and she pulls open the door, backing away from it eagerly. Mikasa enters, but once the door closes something shifts, and Annie gets that sense of fragility again. The bubble. Perhaps because right now, they're at the same juncture they were before, where they know where they stand and they know what they feel. But whether they go forward together or they part ways here, remains unknown. So she keeps her tongue still and her hands to herself, waiting as Mikasa takes stock of all around her. Waiting for Mikasa to set the tone. Mikasa halts at the point between the living room and the kitchen, gazing at her abandoned half peeled potatoes.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Mikasa asks.

She shakes her head, before noting that she's behind Mikasa and Mikasa can't see her. "No, not at all."

Mikasa takes her word for it, turning now to the living room to sit herself down on the twin couch. Annie does the same, going for the adjacent armchair to give Mikasa some space. Mikasa is still seemingly looking around, but Annie doesn't know what she's looking for, or maybe like her, Mikasa simply isn't sure what to say. Come to think of it, she's not even sure Mikasa is here because of Bertholdt telling her. Maybe her deduction isn't wrong, Mikasa has no idea and she's just here because. That's actually even better. But no, it turns out to be exactly what it is.

"I hear you're going on a vacation," Mikasa says, finally settling herself and focusing on her.

"Yeah," she confirms. "Visiting home."

Mikasa nods at the information. "Tomorrow, right? I don't see your luggage."

So that's what Mikasa was looking for. Annie tilts her head towards the bedroom. "It's inside. I'm not done packing yet."

Mikasa looks to where she gestures at the bedroom, before her gaze is immediately dropped with another throat clearing. "I see. That's...um, well, it's nice that you're visiting home. I hope you enjoy your time there."

"Thanks," Annie replies, quickly, because it doesn't slip her that it's the bedroom, and probably memories associated with it, that is causing Mikasa to fluster. The reaction is encouraging and discouraging at the same time, but she puts it from her mind and follows Mikasa's lead for now, changing the topic. "How...how's Eren?"

Mikasa lifts her head, but her expression gives away nothing of what she thinks of this topic being brought up. "He's fine," she says first, then she frowns as she expands on it. "He was really confused initially, kept blaming himself, going over all the things he thought he did wrong. But he's better now. He's still upset, but he's not talking much about it anymore."

The sigh Mikasa lets out after her last sentence sounds almost painful, and it reminds her of Armin's words, that so long as Mikasa's part in this remains a secret, Mikasa will only feel guiltier every time she sees Eren. And it shows. Hearing that Eren is doing better by the day, that he isn't wallowing in misery after the break up, fills her with nothing but relief. But Mikasa very clearly looks like she's in pain. And this is from just talking about him. She can't even imagine what Mikasa must feel when she's talking to Eren. Listening to Eren blame himself. Listening to Eren think of all the things he could have done differently. Listening to Eren wonder who the person she cheated with is. Annie swallows in a breath, curling her fingers into fists.

"Is Armin giving you a hard time?"

"Armin?" The frown eases off a little, but in its place is something Annie can't quite decipher. Mikasa shakes her head. "No. We spoke about this just once. He never brought it up again."

At least there's that. At least Armin is doing as he says. But Armin has never been the biggest issue in the first place. And neither is he the biggest issue now.

"Was he harsh to you?" Mikasa asks in return.

And she shakes her head too. "Nothing I can't handle."

Mikasa nods then, looking down and stuffing her hands into her coat pockets. She wonders, as she's looking down at her own hands, unfurling her fists with a drawn out exhale, if she should bring up what Armin said. If she should suggest that Mikasa come clean too, if only for the relief and the peace of mind. But Eren is doing better now, finally, and revealing this will only reopen the wounds. Cut them deeper. That isn't fair to Eren. But in exchange for sparing him, Mikasa is the one suffering in silence. And she doesn't want that either. She squeezes her eyes shut for all her powerlessness.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa. For all of this."

"Yes. So am I."

The instantaneous reply catches her off guard, and when she opens her eyes to meet Mikasa's glancing over at hers, she sees an understanding. A shared, implicit understanding of what their situation has become. Of the paths available to them right now. Of which one they seem set to go down. It is not the one she wants to go down. But it is not about what she wants. And it doesn't mean that this is what Mikasa wants either. She glances at her bedroom, and then back at Mikasa.

"Why are you here, Mikasa?"

She leans forward in her seat, staring right into Mikasa's steely grays as she asks this, catching the moment those eyes waver and widen, and the moment Mikasa breaks the contact to look away. Mikasa doesn't answer for long seconds, to the point where it feels like she doesn't plan to answer at all, to the point where Annie isn't sure whether to repeat her question or accept the silence as the answer. What keeps her waiting is the grimace on Mikasa's face, the breaths that seem just a little bit strained, and the body that is leaning back all stiff and still. But most of all, it is that Mikasa can't meet her eyes. She watches Mikasa's neck move as a heavy sigh escapes, and then Mikasa is tensing up, almost as though she's making herself seem smaller. The answer, when it comes, is similarly soft.

"I don't know, Annie."

That's all she needs to hear. She stands up and marches over to the startled Mikasa, straddling her lap while hugging her arms around Mikasa's shoulders without warning, pulling her close. Mikasa protests, but their bodies know each other's so well by now, so familiarly, that Mikasa's hands instantly move to wrap around her waist.

"Annie? What are you—"

"I do," she says, cutting Mikasa off. Mikasa's actions are more honest than her words anyway, and the hands around her waist pressing tightly into her is proof of that. "I do," she repeats, angling her mouth to Mikasa's ear. "And you do too. You want this. You want me."

She hears Mikasa gulp, and then nothing for a few quiet, strained moments, but then the facade breaks with a whimper, and Mikasa is pulling her close equally as hard. Fingers dig into her back as Mikasa nuzzles her neck, and the feeling that burns within her at their closeness, at the desperate longing with which they are holding each other so tightly, is so intense it chokes her up.

"Yes," Mikasa murmurs into her neck. "Yes I do."

Mikasa's admission only heightens everything, and she inches herself closer, removing any distance between their bodies as she buries her face into Mikasa's hair. It's disorientating, it's overwhelming, but it is also steadying, and she hugs Mikasa for dear life. And it suddenly hits her in this moment that they've never actually done this where it doesn't precede or is preceded by sex. They've never actually hugged just for the sake of hugging. Just to hold each other. So she savours it, the feel of holding Mikasa close, of being close, of being held. Just this, and all the inherent intimacies that come with it, is enough for now. It isn't until her heartbeat is no longer a thundering thumping in her head, but a relaxed, steady cadence in her chest, that she loosens her hold and pulls back slowly. She could probably just hug Mikasa endlessly, but there are things to address right now. Mikasa does the same, also drawing back to look up at her, but the moment Annie looks her in the face, the moment their gazes meet, another need rises from deep within her, and it very quickly makes itself known. She drops her gaze to Mikasa's lips, then up again, and she sees that same need mirrored in Mikasa's dark eyes. She's not sure how long she resists then, whether it is one heartbeat, or three, but when Mikasa's eyes flick down too, the need takes over and she leans in.

"Wait."

She barely manages to stop, already close enough to feel the heat of Mikasa's breath, but she does stop, although she can't say the same for the keening whine in her throat, because she was so close. Mikasa's hands are immediately on her face, cradling it gently, soothingly, brushing fingers against her cheeks and the corners of her lips. That just tempts her more, but she holds herself fast.

"I'm sorry Annie," Mikasa apologizes, her expression scrunching up into a grimace. "I'm sorry. I want to wait."

It is a blatant lie if she says she's not disappointed, but she nods. "Okay." Because she sees the knot in Mikasa's eyebrows and the look of regret in Mikasa's expression, she sees how clearly Mikasa is struggling with this too with her wandering fingers and apologetic touches, and she nods again, reaching up to grasp Mikasa's hands as she buries the need back down deep within. Because Mikasa says wait, not no. "Okay."

Mikasa smiles small, sliding her hands down to Annie's neck, before taking a quick breath. "And I want to tell Eren. Everything."

She nods again, expecting this. "Okay. I'll go with you."

But Mikasa only shakes her head at that. "No. You go ahead with your visit home. I'll tell him myself."

"What? Why?" She grips Mikasa's wrists, the thought of Mikasa facing it alone already unsettling her. "I started this whole thing. I should be there with you, to tell him that."

Mikasa doesn't budge, shaking her head again. "No. He'll probably feel attacked. And you were right Annie. I offered you my address. That was the turning point. For him, it's not important who you cheated with, only that you did. He's not going to be angry at you that it's me. He's going to be angry at me that it's me."

She sees Mikasa's point, at how it would be a bad idea to go to Eren together almost like it's a confrontation. It's also likely true that Eren would direct all his anger at Mikasa, not her. But that's exactly why she doesn't want to leave Mikasa to it on her own. "Can't I at least be there for you? If not directly, then maybe after?"

Mikasa smiles in silent thanks and silent apology, and Annie knows she's been denied. "I wouldn't come to you," Mikasa says softly, but in direct contradiction to her words, her arms slide lower to wrap around her waist again. "Not until he forgives me."

She bites back her reflexive urge to ask 'What if he doesn't?' because that's all about her peace of mind, and that is not as important as Mikasa's relationship with Eren. And she gets it. This is something Mikasa feels she must do, before they can have anything else. And she trusts Mikasa's judgement. She will trust that just like right here, right now, Mikasa will continue to want her enough. That so long as she's here, and she doesn't change the locks, Mikasa will eventually seek her out again. And that's fine for now. So she snakes her arms around Mikasa's shoulders and gently cradles Mikasa's head to her chest. "Okay. I'll wait." She feels Mikasa pressing into her more firmly and she sighs contentedly into Mikasa's hair. Then as she turns her head to rest her cheek on Mikasa, she catches sight of her kitchen and the abandoned potatoes, and a thought comes to mind. "I'll wait, Mikasa. But tonight, will you stay?"

Predictably, Mikasa tenses in her arms. "Annie, I don't think we should."

She can't say she blames Mikasa's mind for going there, but she smacks Mikasa's shoulder all the same. "Not that, silly. Stay for dinner. I'll make us something."

Mikasa pauses for a beat, and Annie can somehow sense Mikasa frowning. "You can't cook, Annie."

Annie rolls her eyes, smacking Mikasa's shoulder again in retaliation for the unhelpful comment as she shoots back. "I can try. You could help me."

"You have ingredients?"

"I have potatoes."

Mikasa snorts, chuckling freely into her neck as her hands begin to then wander across her back affectionately. "All right. I'll stay for dinner."

"Good," she says, pulling back slightly so she can look at Mikasa's face. Mikasa is still slightly smiling from her previous mirth, and she returns it with a small smile of her own, reaching up to trace a finger along the lips that she may one day be able to kiss. No has become wait. And in time, perhaps wait will become yes. But for now, she lowers her voice so as to not come off too hopeful. "First date?"

Mikasa's eyes widen with wonder, and then so does her smile, curling upwards in an open display of fondness. She nods, her hands moving up to grasp Annie's, holding them in a warm, firm grip. "Okay. First date."

End Note: (This is going to be a lengthy end note, which you totally need not read, unless you're interested in my ramblings about the ending. If so, be warned it's lengthy.)

The ending of this story is a foregone conclusion. I knew from the start that I wanted it to end this way. If you thought that they'd drive off into the sunset happily, then no, to me they haven't earned that. It's an undeniable fact that they both consciously did Eren wrong, and this isn't a case where Mikasa didn't know Annie was with Eren, or the relationship was loveless or abusive, or anything else that typically "justifies" cheating. This may have started as something else and spiraled out of control, but when it lasted as long as it did, neither of them can claim innocence. So in order for them to earn their happy ending, they're going to have to pay penance. Tell the truth, face the consequences, ask for forgiveness, and then once everything is out there, then maybe they could start something new. In my opinion, if they didn't do this, their relationship wouldn't stand the test of time, or it would become really unhealthy later on because the foundation their relationship is built on is a shaky one. They would become dependent on each other for support, and even the littlest poke at their foundation might threaten to unravel them. So for me personally, splitting up and starting anew is the only way to go forward for them.

That brings me to where this story ends, and how I have deliberately made it open ended. There are enough clues to indicate that they will indeed pay their penance and then get together after that, earning their happy ending. So it's a hopeful ending. And it's quite likely most people reading this fic will favor that interpretation. However, if you feel like they don't deserve to be together, then you can also headcanon that things don't work out and they never do get together. And I know that there are people reading this fic that don't actually ship Mikannie or that really hate the themes, yet they continue to read for some reason I am unable to fathom, because I would not put myself in a similar position. But anyway, if you are such a person, then hey, an ending that works for you too!

Now, onto the matter that I feel some of you want to murder me for, allow me to say first that I'm really, truly sorry that they don't kiss. It feels like I've been teasing the kiss from the start, and all the dream kisses, fantasy kisses, and almost kisses sure didn't help. The thing is, I knew from the beginning that they're probably not going to kiss, however that wasn't ever set in stone. So I constantly just watched over their progression to see if I could make them kiss, but ultimately that opportunity never came to pass. I know it would have been gratifying to have them kiss, and believe me, I wanted it so much too. But there's just too much associated with the kiss, that it simply cannot happen unless the right conditions are met. Even in this chapter, although the conditions are met, had they kissed they would be repeating the same mistakes of their previous relationship. So yeah. I hope you all understand where I'm coming from. I'm suffering too from them not kissing because it would have been so easy just to write in that damn kiss. I did have their relationship come full circle though, if anyone noticed Annie saying "I do, you do too" is exactly what Mikasa said to her in chapter 7. I know that won't make up for the kiss, but well, at least there's romance and feelings?

Now let's go to Eren. There's only one scene with him at the beginning, which is the break up itself. In the event anybody expected to see more of him and the fall out and what not, that wouldn't really make sense since the story follows Annie, and if Annie continued to hang around Eren after breaking up with him that would be pretty shitty. He's also not in her thoughts because he really hasn't been in her thoughts in a long while. Plus, she has already said her goodbyes to him in the previous chapter. The break up is formality, as terrible as that sounds. If the story had followed Mikasa, then there definitely would be a whole lot more Eren.

And finally, Mikasa POV. I do plan to write a oneshot after this, which will shed some light on what Mikasa was going through along the length of this story, and also serve as something of an epilogue. So yes, there will be a little bit of what happens after this. I don't have an estimate as to when that will be posted however, but keep a look out if you're interested. (I will also finally be filling prompts from the chapter 12 quiz winners)

And that's pretty much it. If you're reading this, thank you for having sat through my ramblings. I cannot thank everyone enough for all the support I received throughout the writing of this story. I hope you all have enjoyed the journey as much as I did writing it. I'm happy to have been able to share this story, and if it has made you happy, then I'm all the happier. Do share your thoughts if you'd like, I always love feedback! Until next time!

Special shout out to the guest reviewer named EM who left this comment last chapter: "thank god this is not cannon...fuuuhhh..." Like no kidding, you're reading this in a site called . This is such a lame comment, seriously. I hope you're not doing this to other fics you don't like. If you've got an issue about the story, then criticize properly. Like I'm fine with the numerous people sending in their dislike of the cheating elements. I mean, I warned about it, but okay, you're entitled to dislike that aspect. But you? Nothing in your comment says anything about the story, so I think it's really the pairing you have an issue with. Which is again, really lame. The fic indicates the pairing, so you could have easily avoided it, and honestly, Mikaani is such a niche, small time ship. How could this ever be threatening to you, EM? Ship and let ship. Also, have courage to sign in (or sign up, it's easy) and own your comment so I can address you directly. Have a nice day.