Chapter Nine

Alexandria followed Kylo-Ren quietly, doing her best to keep up with his long strides. After he demanded she follow him, the translator had hurried to grab her things and scan herself out. He'd been already halfway to the lift by the time she'd exited the library. Alexandria had never noticed how tall he was before, until she was standing beside him in the lift. Even without the helmet, that she estimate gave him a few more inches or so, he still towered over her—and could probably snap her in half with just a flick of his wrist.

Alexandria's thoughts drifted to other things the commander could potentially do to her with his wrist and she mentally scolded herself. It was one thing to dream about those scenarios, but it was another to imagine them happening while standing beside the man she pictured doing it with. It wasn't until the doors slid open onto a new level that she realized they were on the floor where his apartment was located.

After a few turns and almost colliding with a sanitation droid around one of the corners, Alexandria found herself once again standing before Kylo-Ren's apartment door. Like most doors the commander approached, this one easily opened with a wave of his palm. It wasn't until they entered the apartment, the doors closing behind them that Alexandria felt beads of sweat form on the small of her back.

The Commander of the First Order pulled his helmet off, tossing it carelessly onto one of the arm chairs. His forehead looked a bit shiny and briefly Alexandria wondered if he was also nervous, but then she remembered it was probably warm under that helmet—especially if he'd worn it all day like she assumed he had. She stood there awkwardly as he ran his hands over his hair, his eyes moving rapidly around the apartment as if he were taking inventory of every piece of furniture and its position. Part of her worried he'd forgotten she was still standing there. Eventually his hands dropped from the back of his neck and he turned to face her.

"Are you going to kill me?"

The commander rolled his eyes so hard she could almost hear it, a deep sigh filtering through his nose a moment later, "I don't kill people in my apartment," he eventually said, "too much paperwork and the droids have to get involved to clean it up—it's easier on everyone if I do it elsewhere."

"Well, alright," Alexandria frowned slightly, sarcasm dripping from her words, "I guess that's reassuring."

"If I were going to kill you, Alexandria, you'd know it." Kylo-Ren took a seat on the leather sectional, rolling his wrist back and forth as he did so. Judging by the way he frowned down at it she could tell it was bothering him. She felt like she should be sitting down too, but instead she remained standing. She wasn't quite sure how to navigate Kylo-Ren's waters just yet and she had a sneaking suspicion they ran deep.

While the man on the couch continued to move his wrist back and forth, eyeing different muscles in his hand as he did, Alexandria took that time to run a sweeping gaze around his apartment once more, her gaze landing on something she hadn't noticed the last time she was here.

"You have a window?"

Her hands shifted into auto pilot as she placed her datapad down on the glass table before she walked the few steps down into the sunken living space, her eyes taking in the dark scene before her. Snow covered everything, the trees dark and tall as they shot upwards. Before she reached the window, a leather glove sailed across the room, narrowly missing her head before it smacked into the middle of the window, the scene before her pixelated and distorted and she could feel the disappointment shooting down her shoulders as they dropped, "it's a hologram."

"We're several miles underground."

"Yes, it makes sense now," she leaned down to pick up the glove, tossing it back towards him as he crossed one leg over the other, catching it with ease, "you didn't have to ruin it, you know."

"I enjoy raining on parades."

"I haven't seen real sunlight or felt real air in weeks."

"It's overrated."

"You're kind of an ass."

"So I've been told once or twice," she caught the smallest lift at the corner of his lip, a slight smirk disappearing quicker than it appeared.

"Are you flirting with me?"

"Perhaps."

Silence fell between them as Alexandria turned away from him to study the hologram before her, watching as the tree branches shivered from the cold wind. Several minutes passed before she spoke, her eyes still trained on the outside image, "how long until you decide I'm not a threat?"

He ignored her question and asked one of his own, "when did you first realize you were...different?"

She only shrugged, which forced him to attempt to calm down his raging side. He was never someone who had a lot of patience and Alexandria's casual attitude was definitely testing his self-control. "Young," she eventually said, "probably not long after I learned to read, I'd imagine." She turned slightly to look at him, "you can't help me, can you?"

"No." He gave his head a shake, "you don't have enough running through your veins."

"How—"

"I threw my glove at your head," he rested his elbow on the arm of the sectional, cradling his chin in his hand, "you didn't see it coming."

"So, that's it?" Her slight frown deepened, and his eyebrows raised curiously, "I didn't catch the glove, so I'm hopeless? Doomed to live like this for the rest of my life?"

"The galaxy can be cruel."

"Your bedside manner is really lacking," her response was so dry he let out a small chuckle before he pushed himself to his feet.

"I need you to sit."

"Why?"

"I need to explore and it's easier if you're seated."

"Explore?"

"Your mind," he pointed to the sectional, "sit." Alexandria wanted to protest, to refuse, but she could tell by his firm expression she may not live much longer if she fought his request. Slowly she walked over to the sectional, taking a seat a moment later. "What are you going to do?"

"Are you ever not asking questions?"

"Forgive me for being curious," her eyes rolled, "I've never had my mind—"

Her eyes closed tightly, her head automatically tilting backwards at the pressure that filled her head. It was ten times worse than her most painful headache, the amount of pressure feeling as if it were stretching her brain, radiating from one side to the other and back. She wasn't sure she could speak, let alone breathe, her heart beating rapidly against her rib cage.

"Relax," Kylo-Ren's voice was close to her and a moment later the cool leather of his glove brushed across her forehead before resting on her temple, "it's worse if you fight it."

"I can't breathe."

"You can."

Alexandria tried to relax, her eyes fluttering open. She hadn't expected him to be so close, his face just off to the side of hers as he held his hand up beside her, gently brushing against her temple when his fingers twitched. The couch dipped as he sat beside her and before she was able to say anything the man beside her dove in. She relived her earliest childhood memories—the moments she irritated her grandmother or friends and then her teenage self trying to find a way to medicate herself so the translations would stop. She watched herself meeting Armitage, her brief stint as an escort and then her meeting DJ. The man beside her skipped over the memories that clearly had nothing to do with anything he was concerned about. It was clear he was looking for something specific, but she wasn't sure what it was. She hadn't even realized a few tears had escaped her eyes when the pressure suddenly vanished.

She blinked rapidly, finally registering the tears on her cheeks as she held his gaze. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"No." His reply wasn't any louder than her whispered question, their eyes searching one another's for the answers to any unasked questions.

"I don't walk the straightest line," she said, "but I'm not here to cause any trouble."

"I know."

"Do I get to live?"

"For now," the corner of his lip twitched again, "if you can keep your mouth shut, that is."

"In general? Or about this?"

"This has to stay between us," his dark eyes searched her lighter ones, "I doubt you'd be able to gain any control over it, your abilities are too weak, but you can't attempt to strengthen it, do you understand?"

"I can't figure out if you're insulting me or not."

"There are greater powers at be than you realize," he told her, "and I can't hold them back if you decide to explore this. If anyone else catches wind of what you may have, I won't be able to protect you—I can't protect you."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"What are you keeping something or someone back?" She frowned, "why are you bothering to pro—"

"Because I feel it too," his voice was lower now, his eyes drifting down from hers to her lips, "and I can't do this if you're dead."

His lips were more chapped than she thought they would be and before she was able to focus on the way they felt against her own they were gone. She chased his lips, not satisfied with how short that kiss had been. So short she wasn't even sure if it qualified as a peck. When their lips met for a second time, she did her best to take it all in—her hands reaching out to grab onto anything she could to keep him there. But despite her best efforts, he managed to pull away from her again. Alexandria would've been embarrassed at the small whine that came from the back of her throat at the second loss of contact, but she'd been craving this kind of contact for weeks and now that she had it, the last thing she wanted was to lose it.

"You're testing me."

"I'm about to fall off the couch," Alexandria realized how close she'd pushed the commander to the edge of the couch, and she felt her face flush as he nudged her backwards, taking more room on the sectional. In just a handful of seconds the dark-haired man pulled off both of his gloves and tossed them onto the table nearby before he shifted onto his knees, cupped her face, and kissed her deeply.

The delicious kiss was exactly what she'd been craving, and she probably would've melted at the feeling if he hadn't had a hold on her, pulling her into his atmosphere. "You have no idea—" she'd started to whisper against his lips, but he cut her off, dropping his head to press a hard and deep kiss to her lips, his tongue invading her mouth long enough to get a taste.

"You have to stop talking," his lips brushed against hers as he spoke, his hand lifting to glide through her hair, tugging her head backwards as he nudged her back a little more. He pressed three hot, open mouthed kisses to her throat and Alexandria swore she might explode. When he nudged her again, she happily followed his instruction, her back resting against the soft leather of the sectional as he covered her, bringing some of his weight down onto her. He hovered over her, his dark hair falling around his face as he positioned himself exactly where he wanted to be. It was the kind of contact she'd been dreaming about, and she couldn't help but hum her approval, her own arms wrapping around his neck to bring him closer.

"I'm trying to not crush you."

"Crush me," her leg bent at the knee as he settled himself between her limbs,

"please, for the love of everything in this galaxy, I need to feel your weight."

He laughed, his deep voice filling her ears as they reunited, their lips moving feverishly against the other, as if they were afraid this moment would end sooner than they wanted it to. It wasn't until hands started roaming and top layers of clothing came off that Alexandria pressed her palm to his chest, pushing him back several inches so she could think, "are you clean? Safe?"

"What?" His head was a mess, Alexandria had managed to fill his senses and all he could breathe and hear and see was her, "safe?"

"Safe sex," she breathed heavily, her lips swollen, and cheeks flushed as she

stared back at him, her eyes just as wide as his own, "have you been checked recently?"

"Yeah, safe," he nodded, moving back towards her, wanting her lips on his again, "I'm safe, always safe. You?"

"Safe," her eyes fluttered closed as he nuzzled his way into her neck, sinking down onto her once more. It wasn't until the hands that had been gripping her hips slid upwards under her final top layer that she hooked her leg around his hip, hauling him as close as she possibly could—the two losing themselves in one another for the rest of the night.