Hi I'm trash with descriptions. Also, I definitely wasn't watching Is the Order a Rabbit when I came up with this idea.

Nope.

Not at all.

I also definitely wasn't playing Neptunia while listening to the opening of ItOaR. Absolutely not.

But yes, it's another one of my "let's just look at the life of an ordinary person" story ideas, similar to Dysfunction Junction. I really do like writing this kind of thing, just ordinary people in a more fantastic setting. Plus is means I don't have to write battles or anything like that. A very calm sort of thing.

Either way, this is my first foray into Neptunia fanfics. I've really loved the franchise for a long time, but I've always been kind of scared to write for it (similar to Touhou) since I didn't want to be shredded for absolutely fucking up characterization or messing anything up, really. So, a more relaxed story might help me get into the groove of things for if I want to write another one down the road.

Anyways, thanks for reading my preface. Let's get started. Hopefully I didn't screw up too hard anywhere.

Chapter 1: Easygoing Days

"And how was your day?"

"Wonderful, thanks for asking."

I can't help but laugh at her usual sarcastic and tired delivery while pouring the steamed milk into her coffee. Alright, very, very careful…

"I see you still are bad at making latte art."

"I'm trying, you know? Give me a break."

I decide to stop in my attempt, trying not to look at the glob of white in her cup, and put the steamed milk off to the side. There goes attempt fifty seven.

"Still though, IF, you don't need to rub it in my face."

Even if I'm telling her that, I'm still smiling. She rolls her green eyes before adjusting her dark brown hair so it's not in the way of her mouth before taking her blue porcelain cup and lifting it to her mouth. She has a small sip before putting it back down on the glass platter that sits on top of a mahogany finish countertop, matching the rest of the aesthetic of the small coffee shop.

"Mhm, as good as always, Elliot. Even if your attempt at making a flower turned into a cloud, the coffee still tastes good."

"Why thank you. I do aim to please." I say, giving a small theatrical bow, likely inspiring another eye roll from her. "Work was difficult again?"

"Yes, though you know I can't tell you any of the finer details."

"I'm aware. Sensitive stuff today, right?"

"Mhm."

I'm only on a cursory understanding of what her job entails, but sounds like some real spy-like stuff right out of a book. As far as I can tell, she works in information gathering, but frequently lends a hand to the Guild, but I figured it's best not to ask about the former. Stuff like that is way out of my league.

"I thought you were usually closed at this time, though." she says as I start bagging the leftover pastries of the day. "You were supposed to close up an hour ago, I think."

"There was a party here tonight." I respond, though it's only a half-truth. I mean, I'm sure people would have assumed it was a party, with how many people came in here today. Completely coincidental.

Of course, the real reason was that I found it odd she hadn't came in today. IF comes in almost like clockwork. If she hadn't shown up in another hour, I would have closed, but oh well.

"Hmm…"

Of course, I am a terrible liar, and for someone who I am fairly sure deals in spy-stuff, she can see right through it.

"Really now?" She says, clearly skeptical of my claim.

"Positive."

I don't know if she really believes me, but she doesn't press any further. Something I'm quite thankful for.

"By the way, would you like any of these? On the house." I ask as I continue to go through the pastries.

IF shoots me a questioning look. "Are you sure?"

"They would be thrown out otherwise, so feel free to have any of them." I say while shrugging.

IF leans back from her seat, looking at the pastries in the glass display. "Then, the cherry danish."

"Anything else for now?"

"For now?"

"Well, if you want to take any of them home with you, that's fine too."

She gives me another questioning look. "Are you allowed to do that?"

I shrug while giving my answer. "I mean, I own the place. Besides, there's nothing to really do with them other than give them away, eat them myself, throw them out, or wait to go donate them elsewhere."

"Um, then I'll take half of what's left. Compa likes the things you make, so it'll be a nice gift."

I shoot her an inquisitive look, asking for assistance. "Compa was…"

"The nurse, light-ish brown hair, wears—"

"Oh, right, the nurse in that rather fluffy looking sweater." I close my eyes and try to recall her for a second before nodding. "Alright, I'll box them up."

First though, I take the tongs and put the cherry danish on a small platter before sliding it over to IF, the glass platter sliding down the mahogany finished counter that matches the rest of the old, classical wooden style of the cafe.

Then, I start boxing up half of the leftover delicacies, with the occasional bit of glazed sugar falling onto the dark red apron that goes over my brown khakis and black button short-sleeved shirt.

"Aaand, done." I say, putting the box in front of her before waving off the card she offers me. "No, no, I told you, it's fine."

"I'd feel bad if I didn't pay you for it."

The two of us look right into each other's eye, having a silent debate. We maintain eye contact for a solid thirty seconds. I break first and look away, taking her card.

"Fine. But I'm only charging half." I mutter, going over to the register and running through the charges. "Four hundred credits sound good to you?"

"...that's okay. But you have to think of yourself, you know?"

"Hey, I'm very much in the black, mind you." I say, shaking her card as if I was wagging a finger at her.

I run through the transaction and print the receipt, pulling a pen from a nearby holder and giving it to her to sign and returning her card. IF puts her coffee down and signs it before handing it back to me, and I put the receipt in the plastic basket I use to store today's receipts.

The two of us make some idle chit-chat as she finishes up her snack. Afterwards, she gets up from her seat and stretches, her dark blue (oversized) sleeves falling down and exposing her arms as she's wearing only a black sleeveless underneath that coat, before she brings them back down. She then takes the box into her hands before nodding to me.

"Good night, IF."

"Good night, Elliot. Thanks for the food."

"No problem. I'll walk you out, I have to lock the door, anyways."

I follow her out to the door and see her off before going back inside and locking the door. Afterwards, I go grab the dishes she used and put them in the sink in the kitchen, starting to wash them.

IF is a bit of a strange one. She's been a regular for some time now, I'm not quite sure how long it's been, actually. However, we've seemed to strike up a small acquaintanceship with each other, or at least she views me in enough of a positive light that she doesn't mind admitting we know each other to some of her friends.

Or at the very least, to Compa and I think two of her other friends if they're friends. Er, I guess that's just one of her friends, then. At least.

After cleaning up the dishes, I quietly make sure everything is put away before unlocking the back door, put next to a jukebox and labeled "no entry", stepping inside and relocking the door behind me. I then flip a switch and start climbing the stairs, admiring the wooden frames holding a variety of pictures along the wall, mostly of the previous owner and his favorite customers.

"I'm home."

I say that to no one in particular as I open the door at the top of the stairs, heading back into my room. It's a very sparsely decorated place, but I keep it very clean. The hardwood floor is still sparkling, the rugs on top of them are kept without blemish. I have a bed in the back corner away from the street-facing windows that have thick blue curtains covering them.

Ah, right.

I log into the computer terminal and compute the balances for today. Still very much in the black, just like I told IF. It's not exactly the most famous place here, but it's enough to make a living and much more.

Alright, it was a good day today.

Logging off the computer terminal, I decide it's time to go hit the shower and then head off to bed. Tomorrow'll be just as busy as today.

"Good morning!"

"Oh, hi… ah, ah, ah, Compa, right?" I say, glancing over her. White fluffy sweater, light brown hair, and a rather good figure that would turn a lot of heads. The last of those is being proven very true right now, as I can see some customers giving her a few glances.

"Yes. I'm glad you remembered me, haha~"

"Well, I try not to forget any customer's names. I didn't take you for the morning coffee drinker, though."

She smiles before nodding. "There was something I wanted to ask, though."

"Oh?"

"Um, does your store do catering…?"

"Catering? Uh, hold on. Are you in a hurry?"

"No, not at all."

"Alright, give me a few minutes to take care of the customers behind you and then we can talk."

It takes a bit, but eventually I clear out the line behind her and then have Compa step off to the side in case any other customers come in and line up.

"So, catering? I haven't actually done catering with the shop, but I'm willing to hear you out."

"Yes, um, the hospital is having a small event in three weeks and I volunteered to find a place to cater. It's in the morning, so I thought having coffee and treats would be a good idea!" She says with a big smile on her face.

"I see… how many people are you looking to feed?"

"Around fifty people?" Compa answers, a bit of unsureness in her voice.

"Fifty, huh…"

I close my eyes and think. That's going to be a lot of baking along with preparing coffee. I suppose I needed to replenish my supplies this weekend anyways. It can't hurt to buy a little extra.

"Hmm, can you have someone pick it up or do you need me to deliver it?"

"Oh, someone can come pick it up if delivering it is too troublesome."

"Alright. I think I should be able to do it…? I never thought about catering, but I'll try to help you out. You are a friend of IF's, after all."

Compa looks at me as if I just said something strange.

"Did I say something wrong…?"

"No, it's just… I'm a bit surprised you said yes so easily even though you haven't done catering before. I was a little afraid you wouldn't."

"Well, like I said, you're friends with IF, so I'd be willing to make an attempt. I'm sure she'll be happy to know your event was a success. That, and it might serve as some advertising. Can you stop by tomorrow or maybe in the afternoon? I should have a quote for you."

"Okay, thanks!"

"Anyways, can I get you anything before you go?"

"Oh, the cinnamon apple danish, please."

"Coming right up."

After ringing her up, I bid her farewell, and start doing the mental calculations. Depending on what she wants, the price can range. I suppose some cinnamon rolls should be in the mix, a few types of danishes, maybe some croissants, some muffins… yes, okay. Maybe I'll run the prices for fifty five, since she seemed to be a little unsure, so maybe more people might show up.

I grab a napkin and start writing down prices and multiplying things out. Add that with coffee, yes, enough for fifty or fifty five people, mhm. I know I have some coffee to go boxes, so I can just buy more of those to help Compa out.

I double check the numbers during the slower hours of the day, eventually coming up to something around fifteen thousand credits, though I could go down to fourteen and still be well in the black. I hope that's not too steep for her. If she agrees, I do make quite a pretty penny back.

As usual, right on time in the evening, IF walks in through the doors, this time accompanied by Compa.

"Hello IF, hello Compa. Oh, Compa, I finished the quote for the catering."

"Oh, good!" She says, a big smile forming on her face.

"Catering…?"

I hear IF questioning it as Compa walks over to the counter, where I slide the napkin calculations over.

"It's not too bad, is it…?"

"No, this is actually really good!"

"Oh, phew. I would hate to think I was overcharging."

"But don't business owners usually like making money?" IF says as she takes a seat, probably setting herself up for a quick witty snipe.

"Well, it's easier to have customers if they don't feel like they're getting ripped off. Anyways Compa, if it looks good, I can type up a formal contract and receipt for you later so you can get it signed off and we can talk payment and delivery."

"Mhm, okay. Can I take a picture of it?"

"Go ahead."

Compa takes out her phone and snaps a picture as I glance over at IF.

"So, anything for you tonight?"

"Just the usual for me."

"Pastry and all?"

"Mhm." IF says, nodding.

I move over to get her coffee, no extra sugar and two creams, and a cheese danish. As I put the danish on a small glass platter to match the coffee cup and push them over to IF, who passes me her card for payment.

Compa slides the napkin over to me after I return IF's card, tucking the napkin into my back pocket. "Oh, can I get something as well?"

"Sure, what can I get for you?"

"Um, let's see, I think a medium coffee. Cream and sugar, please, aaaand… um, which muffin is that?"

"Oh, that's…" I lean back, looking at the display. "Cinnamon crumb muffin."

"Then yes, I'll have that one."

"Sounds good, that comes up to three hundred credits."

Compa silently hands me her card, which I take and process her payment before handing it back to her and begin preparing her request. With a bit of flair, I slide them down, having the platters stop right in front of her, causing her to smile.

"You really know how to make a show, don't you?"

"Well, I got bored sometimes. Eventually I got it pretty down pat how much force to use."

"You've got plenty of free time, huh?"

"Hey, I keep busy." I say in reply to IF's snipe. "Busy enough to stay open, anyways. So, how was your day? You actually look kind of tired."

"Where do I begin?"

With that, IF recounts her rather tiring tale of paperwork, paperwork, a bit of bureaucracy. and more paperwork. However, we're interrupted halfway through by a small giggle fit from Compa.

"Something funny?" I ask as both IF and I turn to look at her.

"No, it's just… it's almost like a husband complaining to his wife about work over dinner." she says, a small smile on her face. "How long have you known each other?"

IF and I glance at each other before giving Compa unamused looks.

"What is it now IF, a few months at most?"

"I think so. I don't keep track."

"Hehehe, but still. You two kind of are like that."

IF and I exchange another look before I shrug.

"You know, when did we start doing that?" I ask, hoping IF has a concrete answer.

"I don't really know. Maybe it was when I became a regular?"

"You did always like to sit at the counter." I note, thinking back on the earlier days. "I guess we just ended up talking one day, huh? Probably late at night, not a lot of other customers, maybe I was just bored."

"I imagine so. The exact details aren't exactly something I remember too well. Ah, well, I guess it's not exactly too important, though."

"Yep. What's more important is that we did meet and that you didn't hate me."

"You don't exactly have a mean bone in you, kind of hard to hate someone like that. I'm sure you couldn't even hurt a fly."

"I swat them all the time though, especially when they try to get on the food if someone leaves the door open too long."

"You know what I meant." IF says with a small eye roll.

"I know, I know. Anyways, where were we? Oh, um, sorry to ignore you, Compa."

"No, no, don't mind me." she says, waving us off."It's good enough to see Iffy talking to someone."

She shoots Compa an annoyed yet flustered look. "H-hey, I talk to people all the time! It's part of the job."

"But when I talk to your coworkers, they say you tend to keep to yourself out the job. I'm just happy that you've found someone you can be a little open with."

IF doesn't seem to have a comeback to that, so she quietly goes back to her coffee, causing Compa to giggle as IF seems a little embarrassed about it.

"I'm happy to be of service, then." I say, moving the conversation away from this topic. "By the way Compa, IF has mentioned before that you cook."

"I do, yes. Actually, I'm the only one in our friend group that can really cook~"

I look at IF, who glances away.

"Is that so? That's a surprise."

"Iffy's learning, though, but she's rarely home so it's kind of hard to find a time to teach her." Compa says with a bright smile. "You should have seen her when we started out, though."

"H-hey, Compa—!"

"We set off the smoke detectors trying to make scrambled eggs, and—"

"Compa!"

Compa stops in her tale, forcefully interrupted by IF, who quickly realizes how loud she was and immediately turns back to her coffee, looking down into it and muttering something to herself.

"It must have been really something. After all, I don't think I've ever seen IF be so red in the face before."

I decide to ignore the small glare that IF shoots me at that comment.

"However I'm sure she's improving with every lesson. If everyone's been surviving off of your cooking, then it's safe to say she must be learning from a natural master."

"Oooh, ehehe, well, I do like to make food for everyone, so it was only natural I started getting really good at it."

"Yeah, Compa was good, but she's only gotten better. Speaking of which, how did you start in this coffee shop business?"

"Hm, that's a good question." I close my eyes and smile, thinking back on those early days. "Well, truth be told it isn't my coffee shop, or at least it wasn't. I inherited it from the man who taught me how to make everything here."

"Oh, that explains a lot, then."

"Hm?"

IF takes a sip of her coffee before speaking. "You just seemed too young to have opened up a shop on your own, especially since this place had a small following for a while now."

"Oh, is that how you found me?"

"I was curious."

So yes.

"I see. Well, I'm glad to have been a worthy enough successor for you to stop by. I'll inform the previous owner, then. I'm sure he'll still find a way to one-up me, though. Old man could never let me have a victory when it came to this shop."

I make it a point to be smiling when I say this, so it's evident that it's something lighthearted. Gregory might have been a hardass at times, but he was a good man. I'm glad my parents were friends with him, too.

"Though…" I turn to Compa, who smiles, and raise an eyebrow, prompting her to talk. "...I wonder if he could top a CPU coming here~"

"Well, it'd blow him away, for one. It's not like I'm here at a famous shop or anything. Maybe we're a little better known in this area of the city in particular, but well, not so much elsewhere. South side of town is a little out of my influence."

"Hmhmm, but I do like your sweets. I think I should bring some for Nep-Nep."

I turn back to IF, who coughs while she's drinking. I quietly pass her a napkin, with which she cleans up the drops of coffee that got on the counter as she gets her composure back.

"Are you okay, Iffy?"

"I'm fine, Compa. Just ah, had to cough with really bad timing. Oh, thanks…" IF takes the other two napkins I hand her, using them to continue cleaning her immediate area and also wipe her mouth. "Are you sure, though? I'm pretty sure that no matter how good the cake Elliot makes is, Neptune would prefer pudding."

"Well… I suppose I could try my hand at making pudding?" I say with a shrug. "I keep a small stock in the fridge seeing as well, we are in Planeptune, it would be foolish not to have any, but it's mostly just store bought."

"Hehehe, well, maybe I should bring her here when you finish perfecting your recipe." Compa replies with a big, toothy smile.

"Only the best for our CPU." I then notice IF's rather pointed look at me. Does she… not want me to make pudding…? I mean, IF seems very loyal to Planeptune, but I suppose it might be loyalty to the city and not necessarily the CPU? But then again… "Is um, something wrong, IF?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong. Just, well, do you really want Nep coming here, Compa? It's a really nice place with all of this furniture. Something probably would break."

"Awww, I think you don't give Nep-Nep enough credit."

As they're talking, it occurs to me that these two personally know the CPU of Planeptune. Oh.

Oh.

I really should get started on making that pudding. I'll devote tonight to looking up various recipes, figuring out how to put my own twist on it, and then spend the weekend perfecting it. Agh, that's going to be extra expenses, too. I can afford it, but no one likes new expenses.

"Elliot?"

"Bwah, oh, uh, sorry IF. Got caught up in my thoughts about making pudding."

"You're really going to make it, huh?"

"Well, it's no secret that our CPU likes pudding. I bet she'll be able to tell that it was storebought, so you know, would look kind of bad on me. Besides, might be able to drum up a bit of business, making my own pudding. Does she have a favorite type?"

Compa nods from the side. "She really does like like ah, it looks a bit like flan…?"

"Oh, so like a caramel pudding, I see, I see." Oh, good, good, I can even keep it chilled, too. Perfect. That means I don't have to devote space on the display rack for it all the time, I can just keep it refrigerated. "Hmmm, that's doable."

That definitely narrows down the recipes I have to look for.

"Already have a plan in mind?"

"Oh, definitely." I say to IF, who closes her eyes and exhales. "Something wrong?"

"No, just… well, I wish sometimes people would have your kind of work ethic." She says, pausing halfway through as if to carefully choose her words.

For some reason, I get the feeling that's not what she really means.

"If you're worried about the place breaking, I have insurance. I mean, it can't be too hard to replace a table. It might suck being down a table or having to close while repairs are made, though."

IF's look doesn't change, but she quietly goes back to drinking her coffee.

"But ah, haha, maybe on Monday, could I ask you two to try my hand at making pudding? Sort of as a test run, you know?"

"I'd be happy to help~ I'm sure you'll do well."

Well, glad to know Compa's on board.

IF sets her coffee down and gives me a knowing smile. "Eh… I guess I'll help out. You wouldn't want your reputation to take a dive and suddenly have to close, all because Nep thought your pudding was bad, right?"

"Yeah, where else are you going to get your evening caffeine fix?"

"Well, there's the convenience store three blocks down…"

I give my best deadpan delivery. "The betrayal, I can hardly express how much my heart has been shattered. I'm so easily replaced."

She snorts, rolls her eyes, and then resumes her coffee drinking with Compa's giggling in the background.

For the rest of the evening, we make some general small talk, talking about happenings in the city, up and coming events and new music stars. As time goes by, several customers leave, most of them giving me a wave and a "Seeya tomorrow, Elliot!" as they head out the door.

And of course, soon enough, it's closing time.

"Here."

"Eh?"

"Oh, I couldn't—!"

IF is taken aback by the sudden offering of a box of pastries, while Compa tries her best to say no. However, I push the boxes closer to them.

"Take them, it's not like they weren't going to get thrown out anyways. Come on, I have to lock up, too, so I'd rather not have to argue about it. Besides, I usually hand these off to whoever's around at closing time anyways."

IF takes out her card again. I shake my head and then mumble something about having to make sure everything is rinsed and they can head out whenever. Honestly, sometimes I really do just like handing out a gift. I've done it to other customers before, just for whoever was around at the end of the day, as I told them. It's nothing special for them. It's just that I don't usually have people right at the close.

When I come back out, I see IF and Compa having headed for the door, boxes in hand. Compa looks a bit happy, but also unsure, while IF just is nudging her along. She'll probably explain everything for me or at least assuage Compa's hesitation to take the treats.

I head up to the door just after they leave, locking it behind them. When I go back to the counter, I see IF forgot to throw her napkin out.

"Sheesh…" I grab it, but it feels like it's got more resistance than a normal napkin to folding. I take a look inside and find a small wad of money and some writing on that says 'i know what you tried to pull there'.

My attention is brought elsewhere by the sound of someone tapping on glass. I turn over to the source of the sound and find IF giving a small wave and a very, very knowing smile as she leaves, clearly called for by Compa.

Geez… can't a guy just be nice? Honestly though…

I guess IF and I really don't like feel indebted to someone, haha. Well, whatever. I suppose tomorrow's still going to come. Better get everything washed and then head to bed.

After all… I've got a lot ahead of me, considering a new recipe is going to be in the works.

Well, here's my first foray into Neptunia fanfiction.

I was going to try a Producing Perfection one with four producers (called "Producing Madness"), mainly just for fun, but I feel this story will be a nice exercise. I've been a fan of the Neptunia franchise for a while now as I said before, but I've always admittedly been scared to write a story for it out of sheer fear of "fucking something up tremendously".

So, rather than do intricate and special storylines, I wanted to do something more down to earth and simple. Man runs coffee shop, interacts with a few characters, with IF being a focus. I dunno, I just imagined her having late night coffee and chatting up someone, good image in my head, and then also I definitely wasn't watching Is The Order a Rabbit when this story came to mind. Nope.

I wanted to start small scale, just a short chapter that gets the ball rolling. Let me know if there's anything I massively goofed up or need to improve.

Also just uh, just ignore the other three running projects I have those aren't important...

Anyways, I guess see you guys next chapter. If there is a next chapter. I dunno, we'll see if anyone's interested in it.