Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine they all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB etc. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.

Rating: T/M throughout but will be more specific per chapter. This chapter is a T.

A/N: This is the result of a wondering I had; what if Giles never left for England before Willow did the spell? And of course once I had that thought it wouldn't go away and now I have this to offer.

Enjoy :)

What if

Chapter 1

The sound of a constant banging on his front door yanked Giles from the wonderfully peaceful oblivion he had found, even if it was only for a moment. He snorted to himself as he sat up, rubbing at his face while he threw his legs over the side of his bed with a groan.

More like you drunk yourself into that oblivion old man, good job he thought sarcastically to himself. He dropped his head into his hands, moaning in pain as a memory of Buffy rolling her eyes at him with a grin at one of his sarcastic retorts erupted unbidden behind his eyes.

He pushed himself to his feet and stumbled towards the stairs, not really sure he had actually heard anything or if he had dreamed it. The memories of Buffy tormented him in his sleep no matter how much he drank to try and block them out. As he was near the bottom step he jumped in fright when his front door was unceremoniously shoved open, the lock skidding across the floor before coming to a stop against the back of the sofa.

He looked over at the person who was standing in his doorway and staggered against the bannister in shock, a whimper escaping his lips as he tried to make sense of the vision in front of him.

"Buffy?" he whispered, his legs giving out in relief when she stepped over his threshold and looked around herself. Her motions were jittery and slow, pain flashing across her features with every step that she took into his living room.

"Buffy?" he whispered again, a wealth of questions in just her name, the shock of seeing her driving the last vestiges of his hangover from his system. He slowly moved around the banisters not wanting to startle her, watching her look around at his flat as she slowly stepped towards him.

"Giles" she whispered looking at him blankly for a few seconds before she looked away with a frown, "Is this Hell?" she asked softly looking back at him, confusion and pain evident in her eyes as she watched him walk towards her.

"Is this...no this isn't Hell, why would you…." he broke off and stared at her in dismay. He took in her appearance again, seeing the dirt in her hair, on her face, the dress they had buried her in, and staggered back against the sofa, his hand going to his mouth as tears formed in his eyes, "No, she wouldn't" he muttered before reaching for her and pulling her to him in a fierce hug.

"Is this Hell?" she asked again, her voice shaking as she gripped the front of his shirt.

"No, my darling girl, no" he whispered hugging her tighter as he felt her tears wet his shirt front. He pulled away sharply when she hissed in pain. He looked down and saw blood soaking into his shirt sleeve. He turned her gently and peeled away the edge of her dress, already knowing what he would find there. He gasped in horror and gently turned her back to face him,

"Buffy? We need to tend to your wounds," he said gently, lifting his fingers to her cheek to wipe away some of the moisture that had gathered there, "Will you let me help you?" he asked her in that same gentle voice.

She stared at him for a moment then nodded and let him lead her to his bathroom, her grip almost painful as she desperately clung to his arm. He turned her and gently pushed down on her shoulders until she sat down on the toilet seat. After a brief brush of his fingers over her cheek, to reassure himself that she was real as well as offering her comfort, he turned and pushed back the shower curtain.

As he was bending to turn the water on he stilled when he heard Dawn desperately calling out his name. He turned to Buffy and saw her face turned in the direction of her sisters voice, her eyes boring through the wall as if she could see her. She turned her startled gaze back to him and he automatically reached out and gripped her hand in his, pulling back when he realised her knuckles were bleeding from fresh cuts and scrapes.

Grinding his teeth together at the wave of anger that swept through him when he realised how she must have received those particular injuries, he cupped the back of her head and bent at the waist to place a soft kiss at her temple, "It's alright love, it's just Dawn. Wait here for a minute while I go see to her," she looked up at him afraid and gripped his arm tight enough to make him wince, "Ssh now, it's alright. I'll be back I promise"

Seemingly satisfied she let him go and sat back as he opened the bathroom door and stepped out. He looked into his living room as he shut the door behind him and saw Dawn running back down his stairs, frantic with worry.

"Dawn what is it? What's wrong?" he asked her in a whisper as she rushed up to him and threw her arms around his waist.

"I saw Buffy, the real Buffy, she ran from me and I can't find her and the Buffy bot was torn apart and there's all these demons and Spike's probably mad at me coz I ran off on my own and I think I might be going crazy and why have you got blood on you?" she babbled as he pushed her back to look in her eyes.

"Buffy's here Dawn, what did you do?" he asked, the question coming out a little harsher than he had originally intended.

"Me? I didn't do anything, I wouldn't, not after Mom" she said her eyes wide with surprise, "She's here? She's really back?"

"Yes so it would seem" he said stepping away from her and back towards the bathroom, "Would you mind helping me get her cleaned up?" he asked as he opened the door, relieved that he wouldn't have to go through with helping Buffy shower.

She nodded causing the tears gathering in her eyes to fall onto her cheeks and she hastily wiped them away, taking a deep, calming breath as she stepped forward. She looked into the bathroom and saw Giles bending over the bath to turn the shower on then her eyes flicked to Buffy, who was still sitting quietly on the toilet, and she couldn't help the gasp that came out when she saw the state she was in.

She swallowed and smiled kindly down at her sister, "Would you like a shower Buffy?" she asked and Giles felt pride well up inside of him for this child who had been through so much yet was still able to take the return of her sister in stride.

"Giles was gonna help" Buffy said woodenly her eyes flickering between her sister and Giles.

"Dawn can help you shower love, I'll help with the rest" he said smiling kindly down at her before holding his hand out for her to slowly pull herself to her feet.

Dawn squeezed past them to check the temperature of the water then she looked up at the shower caddy to see what Giles had in the way of shampoo, "Uh Giles?" she said turning to face him, "It might be better if we take her home, you have no conditioner and only a sliver of soap left"

"Oh. Uh, well I, uh, haven't exactly been, well, I could go and purchase some..." Giles stammered looking anywhere but at the girls.

"Chill Giles, I get it" Dawn said sadly with an understanding smile, "besides she's gonna need a change of clothes and I doubt you have anything here for her"

"Quite right" Giles said with a shy smile as he looked down at Buffy, "Do you feel up for a short car journey?" he asked her and she nodded, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest.

Dawn blinked at the sight as Giles looked over at her, his eyes wide with surprise. They had never really had this sort of familiarity between them before she died, only a few cherished moments where they would let their guard down around each other or when they really needed the extra comfort.

Giles gently cupped the back of her head, mindful of the bump she had there, holding her to him as he guided her out of the bathroom and towards the front door, Dawn following them with a thoughtful expression on her face.

Just as Giles opened the passenger door and stood back to let Dawn climb in the back seat, a group of demons roared down the street on motorcycles and surrounded the car. Giles pushed Dawn into the car and immediately dropped into a battle stance, trying to remember if he still had an axe in the trunk as the first demon lunged at him.

Before he could even swing a fist to defend himself Buffy was in front of him delivering a right hook so powerful the demons neck broke. Stepping over the body she launched herself into the group of demons and began a painfully familiar dance of death and violence.

Giles could only watch as she despatched the remaining six demons with a cold efficiency that she had never displayed previous to her death and before he knew it they were all dead. He blinked at her in shock as she stood there breathing heavily then cried out her name when she collapsed to the floor.

He picked her up and carried her back to the car, gently swinging her over the side and lowering her into the back seat where Dawn cradled her head. He jumped behind the wheel and looked back at Dawn who was softly humming a vaguely familiar lullaby as she stroked her sisters hair.

"I take it those were the demons you told me about?" he asked her in a whisper, his mouth thinning into a hard line when she just nodded in response.

He turned and faced the front without saying a word. Starting the car and pulling away from the curb, he put his foot down and sped off towards the Summers home with his precious cargo safely ensconced in the back seat.

When they pulled up in front of the house, Buffy had already regained consciousness and was looking around at everything with wide eyed fear, jumping at every little noise and shying away from bright lights.

Dawn helped Giles get Buffy out of the car then ran up the steps in front of him to open the door. He carried her straight upstairs, Dawn running ahead of him and turning off all of the overhead lights, and left her in Dawns hands while he went in search of the first aid supplies.

They barely spoke and when they did it was in soft, soothing tones meant to calm Buffy. When Dawn had finished helping Buffy shower and put on some loose fitting sweat pants she told her to lay on her stomach on a towel, clamping down on the sob that wanted to tear it's way free every time she saw the mess of ripped skin and dark, bone deep bruises on her sisters back.

Giles had already told her in a whisper that it had happened when she had fallen from the tower and that by some miracle it had already healed quite a bit. She had taken one look at his eyes, haunted and sad, and decided not to ask what he meant.

"Giles," she called out, keeping her voice down for Buffy's sake, "She's ready for you now"

Giles was at Buffy's side in seconds so Dawn knew that he had been hovering outside the door waiting, probably pacing a hole in their carpet. As he knelt by the side of the bed he looked up at Dawn,

"Would you get her some water and maybe something light to eat?" he asked her and she nodded and slipped off the bed, "I'll bring her down when I'm finished" he said just before she left the room.

Giles watched Buffy turn her head to face him and ducked his head to look her in the eye, "This may sting a little but I'll try to be quick" he told her while tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked him in a whisper, her eyes filling with tears as she clutched the pillow under her head.

"No of course not" he said as he opened sterile packets of dressings and cotton swabs, "Why do you think you have done something wrong?"

"Because I'm here" she whispered, the tears finally falling.

Giles stopped what he was doing and sat back on his heels, the shock at her words stunning him into silence. He took a tissue from the box on her night stand and wiped away her tears, soothing her while she cried.

"I don't know what has happened to bring you back but I swear to you, with all that I am, you have done nothing wrong Buffy, nothing" he said fiercely, gripping the wrist that was closest to him.

He gave her a small, comforting smile then released her hand to continue cleaning her wound. He winced every time she hissed in pain and flinched away from the sting of the antiseptic as he cleaned around the edges of the rip in her skin over her left shoulder blade. He had seen the wound when she had fallen and was grateful to whatever power it was that had healed the worst of it, glad he wouldn't have to see her like that again.

When he was done he handed her the sweatshirt that went with the pants and carried the bowl with the used swabs and dressings inside it into the bathroom while she dressed. He saw her dress in the bin as he dropped the trash into it and sighed. He had wanted to bury her in white but Willow had insisted and he had let her get her way, having no fight left in him at that point. Turning away from it he left the bowl in the sink and returned to her room, knocking lightly on the door before he pushed it open a little.

"Buffy?" he asked as he looked through the gap, "Would you like to come downstairs and try to eat something?" He pushed the door open wider and saw her standing in front of the mirror over her vanity table staring at the pictures that were stuck in the edges. She reached out to touch the one of her mother then flinched back with a gasp.

He was behind her in seconds, holding her up as she panted in fear, "What is it love?"

"Do you see?" she asked looking up at him. She looked back at the pictures and blinked in shock, "They were….they were dead"

"What did you see?" he asked her, turning her away from the pictures and bending slightly to see her face.

"The pictures they were...they changed…I saw skulls" she said looking at him with wide, fear filled eyes.

"Ssh, it's ok Buffy," he murmured into her hair as he pulled her into a hug, "do you still see them?"

She shook her head, tightening her hold on his back as he gently rubbed hers, "No they changed back" she whispered.

"Then we will worry about it later, for now I want you to try and eat something" he said still rubbing his thumb over her temple.

"I think I was in heaven Giles" she said and he tensed. She pulled back and looked up at his face, frowning when she saw the tears in his eyes. She reached up and brushed away the tears that had already fallen and he smiled at her.

"Where else would you have been" he said softly and held her hand against his cheek.

They both jumped and pulled apart when they heard Spike shouting for Dawn. With a wet chuckle Giles wiped his face and reached for Buffy's hand, pulling her with him as he left the room. He let go of her at the top of the stairs when he felt her tense up, leaving her to come down in her own time, and walked down them to see Spike scolding Dawn for running off.

"Wondered where you'd got to Spike" he said as he reached the bottom.

"Been searching for little bit all over town haven't I" Spike said looking him up and down, "Why are you here?" he asked him.

"Had a surprise visit at my flat tonight, I may even need a new door" he said with a smirk, turning his head when he felt Buffy move on the stairs behind him.

"Didn't think Red would get the bloody bot fixed up so quick" Spike said watching as Buffy descended the stairs, "what of it?"

Giles watched as the realisation that this was the real Buffy hit Spike and nodded his confirmation when he looked at him in shock. Buffy came to a stop next to Giles and took his hand again, leaning into his side. He wrapped his arm around her and led her to the sofa, sitting her at the end so she had the support of the corner then sat next to her.

Spike whirled on Dawn and gripped her arm, "What the bloody hell did you do?" he asked her angrily and Giles jumped up, pulling him away from her.

"She didn't do this Spike" Giles said forcing him to take a step back. He turned to Dawn, still keeping Spike in his eye line, "Can you bring Buffy what you made for her please?" he asked her and she nodded before she ran off to the kitchen.

"So if lil' bit didn't do it then who did?" Spike asked watching Buffy look around the living room, squinting at the light.

Giles saw it too and turned the big overhead light off before returning to his place at her side. Neither man missed the way she automatically lost some of the tension in her back and shoulders as he sat down but neither said anything.

"I thought that you..." Giles started to say but was cut off but Spikes growl.

"You know full well I wouldn't do that Watcher, not to her" he said glaring at him, "you know as well as I do that messing with that shit goes wrong more than it goes right"

"So that leaves.." Giles was again interrupted when Willow and the others burst through the door making Buffy jump again.

"Buffy!" Willow called out then sagged in relief when she saw her sitting on the sofa next to Giles, "Buffy!" she cried happily and they all surged forward. Blinking in shock when she shrank back against Giles.

"What's wrong?" Xander asked stepping forward, his eyes darting between her and Giles, "Is she ok?".

Spike growled and shoved his way past him towards the front door having already come to the same conclusion that Giles had about how Buffy had been brought back. They all watched his retreating back with puzzled expressions before looking back at Buffy.

"Is she ok Giles?" Xander asked again.

"What can we do?" Willow asked taking a step forward.

"You knew she was back?" Dawn asked from behind them and they all turned to see her holding a bottle of water and a large plate with toast, crackers, some fruit and a few cookies on it.

"I'm fine" they heard Buffy say in a small voice and they saw her looking up at them with a stiff smile on her face, her hand holding onto Giles' tightly. Giles frowned down at her, wondering why she was putting on a cheerful facade, and squeezed her hand back.

"Do you want something to eat Buffster? I can order some pizza" Xander said in his usual cheerful manor as he stepped closer.

"Yeah Buff, do you want some pizza?" Willow asked in a voice that people thought was ok to use with children and Giles could feel her shrinking back against him as they drew nearer.

"Wait," Dawn said coming to stand between them and her sister, "back off for a minute" she said scowling at them.

Buffy used the opportunity to dart from the room and up the stairs leaving the others to stare after her in shock.

"Dawn, why don't you take that up to her and stay with her for a bit" Giles said giving her a little push towards the stairs, "I'll be there shortly".

"Ok," she said walking away from them, "but you lot stay away from her" she said glaring at the scoobies.

"What? Why? What have we done?" Willow asked hurt that Dawn thought they would hurt her.

"You know very well what you've done" Giles growled at them.

Willow turned to look at Giles, flinching at the rage that was burning from his eyes, "Aren't you happy she's back?" she asked in a squeaky voice, stepping closer to Tara as Giles' eyes flashed.

"That's beside the point Willow," he said then sighed and turned towards the stairs, "we'll talk about this tomorrow. Is the demon problem taken care of?" he asked them taking off his glasses, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he clenched his teeth.

"Yeah, they took off" Xander said looking at the floor. He'd known that it was a mistake to go along with this spell but he'd missed Buffy so much and he couldn't bare to see Giles and Dawn in so much pain.

"I h...heard them s..say s..s..something a..about the S..Slayer" Tara said timidly, stammering as she always did when she was nervous.

"Good then they won't be back," Giles said tersely as he took the first step up the stairs, "I suggest you all get some sleep, it's been a long day" he said without looking at them then continued up the stairs.

"We are so monumentally screwed" Xander said with a sigh as he sat on the sofa.

"I've never seen Giles that pissed" Anya said sitting next to him, "and that includes the time he shouted at Buffy right before…." she trailed off when she saw the glares from the others.

"What do we do?" Tara asked putting her arm around Willow and pulling her towards an armchair.

"Leaving town might be an option" Xander said with a wry grin. He stood and held his hand out for Anya, "I'm going home before he changes his mind and decides tonight is good for kicking our asses after all"

"Will you be round in the morning as usual?" Willow asked. Looking up for the first time with what looked like satisfaction gleaming from her eyes.

"You sure that's a good idea Will, I mean Giles is pretty pissed" Xander said doubtfully.

"Might as well get it over with" she said with a shrug then stood up to put her axe back into the weapons chest.

Tara looked over at Xander and Anya and saw them share a worried look. She was worried too, this wasn't like her Willow.

Xander shrugged, "Sure why not" he said then opened the front door, "But I better have pancakes and waffles waiting for me when I get here"

Tara watched Willow wave them off and head towards the kitchen. She had a bad feeling that things were going to get worse before they got better.