Without Destiny

Chapter 14

Mack's POV

I flop heavily onto the familiar couch, feeling as if my age had doubled, and then tripled. The thought of being in another war, watching more people that I know die, has terror gripping me and seeping tension into every muscle fiber of my body.

I know that my nightmares will be of a new kind tonight.

The couch depresses on the far end, alerting me to the other person in the room. I can feel their eyes on me, a quiet calculating curiosity.

"So how many believe I'm crazy and/or full of shit?" I sigh, tilting my head back. It gently knocks against the wall and I don't try to move it as my eyes fall closed.

Leah snorts at my comment.

"They all believe you about the leech; we hadn't told you about her. However, you being a demigod was taken with an open mind but a grain of salt. It just seems a bit to fantastical even for us."

It's my turn to snort. "Fantastical. Me. Compared to you who can morph into a giant wolf." I sigh and tilt my head towards the kind girl who I have somewhat come to care for. I take in the exhaustion on her face and the bags that have appeared after just one day. "Do you believe me?" I ask curiously.

She examines me closely for several moment, eyes searching mine, looking at me in a way no one has cared to look at me before.

"Yes," she finally says, and I'm not so surprised at the relief that one word gives me. I offer a small smile as thanks. She shifts a bit, just bringing herself barely closer, but I ignore it for the moment.

"You said that you've been training since you were 10… Were you on your own or did you have a trainer?"

Somehow, more tension seeps into my shoulders. "Most of us, if we're lucky enough to be found before the monsters kill us, end up at a place called Camp Half-Blood at a young age. It's where we learn about our parentage, the gods, the myths, and train to kill monsters so that one day we can come and live in the mortal world permanently and not get killed. See, monsters hate the gods, but they can't kill them so they go after us, their kids. Not that the gods care either way."

I watch the hesitation play across her face, wondering how much she could press before I shut down. At this point, there is only one thing I'm not willing to share.

"Why did you really run away?" And that's the one.

She must see my expression close off, because she winces and quickly backpedals. "Ah, never mind, you don't have to answer…"

I can feel a scowl twisting my face so I quickly look away, not wanting her to see it. "I think it's about time for bed anyway," I grumble, rising slightly from the couch.

But her hand flashes out and clutches at my wrist. "Wait- please!"

I hesitate at her regretful gaze. Her hand is unnaturally hot against my skin. How could I have never questioned this before?

"Can we just… sit here for a while? Maybe," her eyes dart around the living room and land on the television, "maybe watch a movie?"

With a sigh, I slowly sink back into the sofa.

"Alright then. Let's watch a movie." It's the least I can do after all she's done for me.

She quickly scrambles to set one up and soon we are in a position that I've found myself in quite a few times these past two weeks. And with the light of the movie and the she-wolf on the opposite end of the couch, I sink into a restless sleep.

….

I hack at the trees around me mercilessly, twirling and jabbing and twisting and stabbing, practicing moving between them like they are opponents, switching my weapon from one form to the other as I need to and ducking imaginary enemies.

My training would do a lot more if I was going up against real, moving, thinking adversaries, but this is the best that I can do at the moment. The wolves are the only ones I know around here, and since Bella got back from some trip to Italy a few days ago and the red-head is still on the loose, they have been having at least two wolves running patrol at all times. They are exhausting themselves.

So I work on speed and fluidity and shifting my weapon's forms quickly and instinctively as Seth perches between the boughs of a tree and alternates from napping and watching me raptly.

Panting, I stow my weapon as I walk over to my water bottle, taking a long pull as I use the front of my shirt to wipe the sweat off my forehead. When I'm done, my eyes unwittingly dart over to my young observer.

I don't know why he's chosen to hang around on his time off, but I suspect it's because he doesn't trust me. I can't blame him if that is the reason. Maybe he just wants to watch me train.

Dropping my bottle back to the forest ground, I go to a low hanging branch, that I can reach if I jump to it, and start doing another set of pull-ups and upside down crunches.

He's not my first visitor; I've seen flashes of different colored wolves dropping by, but he's the only one that hangs out for an extended period of time other than Leah.

The only reason she isn't here at the moment is because it's her turn for patrol.

"How do you view Imprinting, Seth?" I ask after dropping down from my branch and rubbing absently at my raw hands. My foot barely even gives a twinge now.

He doesn't seem angry anymore, I observe. He just keeps kicking his legs with a thoughtful look.

"I know my opinions will probably change if I ever do imprint, but I don't really want to. I like being a wolf and I don't really want to give it up."

Several more questions are presented with that answer, but first, "Why would you have to give up being a wolf?"

"Well," he starts, "when we are shifting regularly, we don't age. We are stuck looking like we do when we first shift. Usually when a shifter finds their imprint, they'll stop being the wolf so that they can age along with them."

I frown slightly at the thought of anyone giving up something like that. If I could turn into a giant wolf, I would never want to give that up. I'd probably disappear into the woods and never come back. Humans are the most savage of any mortal animal.

Which brings about the other questing. "Why would you ever change your mind about imprinting?"

"That's complicated," he laughs awkwardly. "See, it's different for us. We can see everything through the pack link, every thought, every emotion, when one of us imprints. If you are already in love with someone, and you imprint on someone else, you don't magically stop loving them. It like you have gravity holding you to earth, but then suddenly, that gravity holding you here shifts and it's not the earth's gravity holding you here, but she is. All your love before doesn't go away, but it suddenly insignificant to the love you have for her, your imprint, and you know that you're entire reason for existing is to be in her orbit, to protect her, to love her, no matter if she loves you back. You'd be anything she needs: a brother, a protector, a lover… And no matter how you felt about imprinting before…it doesn't matter."

Faintly, I can feel the rough bark of the tree digging into my back as I lean heavily into it, but all I can focus on is the feel and sound of my own heart in my ears. It pounds. I can actually feel it in my chest.

Leah didn't tell me much about imprinting. Just that it was like love at first sight and no one knows why it happens. But what Seth just described…

"You don't hate that you might not get a choice?" I absently hear my own voice over the roar of my heart.

"Most of us say we do. That we would never want to imprint. But we can see what it's like, almost experience it ourselves, and who wouldn't at least in some small way want to love like that?"

I suddenly don't want to talk about this anymore. At all. So I take Morph back out and start hacking at trees again, all the while feeling like I have cotton stuffed in my ears and my pulse in the hollow of my throat.

Because I can see myself wanting to love like that. Bad. I've wanted that kind of unconditional love all my life.

But the problem is that I don't love her. And I feel like if I do fall for her now, I couldn't trust it.

A/N: Hey guys, I hope you like this chapter. I'm going to try to get more of Leah in here soon, so let me know if there is anything that you want to see. Even if there is something not having to do with Leah, please let me know.

I'm kind of just winging this fic at this point so we'll see what happens. I'm along for the ride right beside you.

Please review!

~Silver~