Hello! I'm Steven Universe, and i'm the crystal gems favorit 32 year old big boy! Let me tell you about my very special day! That was the day that I used my big boy points to get tendies!

I slipped into my big boy pajamas, and ran out to the gems super excited! I couldn't go to my dad because he passed away from something called suicide!

I ran up to Pearl, and she must have gotten something in her eyes because it looked like she was crying!

"Pearl! I have 10 big boy points! I want tendies!"

Pearl looked at me, and more tears came out of her eyes! I knew she couldn't give me tendies with her bad eyes, so I decided to help her. I bet she would give me more good boy points!

"Dont worry Pearl! My fireman will help you!"

I pulled out my fireman, and started to pee pee all over her! It was working because she started to cry tears of joy! She was so happy that she ran into her room to celebrate! I was sad that I didn't get tendies, but I bet I would get alot of big boy points for helping!

I couldn't ask Garnet because Ruby and Sapphire have not fused back yet. All they ever do is fight now, so I doubt they will help me. I tried to tell them how many big boy points I had, but that only made them fight more.

I saw Amethyst walk out of her room, and ran to tell her how many big boy points I had!

"Hey Amethyst! I have 10 big boy points and I want tendies!"

She looked at me and got very mad.

"Fuck off Steven!"

She went back into her room. I couldn't let that stupid normie cunt get away with that! So I went on 4chan, and asked everyone what I should do! After getting called a cuck 50 times, someone suggested that I eat all the raw tendies, and poop on Amethyst!

4chan is always very helpful, so I ran to the fridge and ate the raw tendies! A few hours later, I felt the pain in my tummy. I had a little bit of diarrhea in my big boy pajamas, and knew I was ready!

I ran into her room, and saw her laying on the ground. She looked like she was so happy that she was crying tears of joy! But I couldn't let her stay happy! So I quickly ran up to her, and did my battle cry!

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

She knew I was there. So I pulled my pants down, and started to poop all over her face! She got mad and tried to scream, but my poop got in her mouth and caused her to vomit!

"Take that normie thot!"

I ran out of the room without my pajama pants, and was noticed by Ruby. Ruby grabbed me by my ear, and started to pull me towards her.

"I dont care what Saphire said! I'm kicking your ass you disappointment!"

I had to escape. So I grabbed some of my remaining poop from my butt, and smacked her in the face with it! She fell to the ground, and started to cry!

"Take that Normie! REEEEEEE!"

I ran back to my room, and touched my fireman to real life loli girls! After shooting my white big boy goo, I fell asleep! That was a special day!