"मैंඑடிमैंल Дအိုက டிhमैंကಕೆ டிhमैंඑ გအိုमैंကடி ள்အိုrಕೆ." Danny huffed, crossing his arms unhappily as he watched his friends. A stray piece of sheet metal was flung his way but, floating a few inches off the ground in his ghost form, Danny let it sail through his leg without comment.

His statement went ignored as Sam and Tucker tore through the boxes shoved in the back of the lab. They were for his parents incomplete or unsuccessful inventions — which meant that there was plenty to go through.

By that point, Sam and Tucker had done a great job of filtering out the nonsense Danny was spouting. He didn't appreciate being ignored but he begrudgingly understood where they were coming from. To him, everything he said sounded perfectly normal but he couldn't expect them to understand the gibberish that bubbled out uncontrollably from his ghost core like a broken faucet. If they couldn't understand him, then there was little point in acknowledging that he had spoken.

What would they say, anyway? To them, everything Danny said sounded "eerie." According to Sam, he sounded like wind whistling through bare trees, words that were faint and difficult to focus on. Tucker claimed that it reminded him of radio static and sent a chill down his spine. Whatever it was, it was definitely not a language that humans could grasp.

It hadn't been so bad, at first. Danny hadn't noticed when he started slipping into it during conversation until Sam pointed it out. He had thought it was weird but it hadn't been a problem until he started losing control. As the hours wore by, his grasp on English grew weaker and weaker until nothing Danny said came out how he wanted any more. His writing had followed it soon after — every attempt to write in English only produced squiggles and alien letters. He had tried typing, but even with an English keyboard, everything he pounded out looked like he'd slammed his face into the keys. Which Danny had ended up doing, overwhelmed by his frustration.

That had been three days ago. He was officially willing to do anything to make it stop.

"Found it!" Tucker climbed to his feet, triumphantly holding the Fenton Ghost Gabber above his head. "Now all we have to do is figure out how to turn it on."

Danny scowled but didn't try to stop them. "გආኢԱடிள் ሐኢඑfயூलஒ ள்එtኢД ကएचအိုயூආ გအိုमैंက டிएचආအိုயூგएच एஒਪੀආኢကடிඑ யூኢलඑ म्मूயூကಕೆ मैंए එኢආमैंအိုயூ გஒඑमैंடி ள்အိုကடிආಕೆ." Again, he received no response. He rolled his eyes. As much as he disliked the Ghost Gabber, he knew that it was a better option than going to Vlad, as Sam had suggested. If he went to his archenemy asking for help, Vlad would never let him forget it.

There was a long pause while Tucker and Sam tinkered with the old invention but then the screen lit up, bathing the area around it in faint, green-tinted light. Sam took it from Tucker's hands, frowning at the dusty screen. "Well… I guess there's only one way to see if it works." She held it out for Danny to speak into. "Try it."

For a moment, Danny considered refusing but then he sighed. It didn't hurt to try. "டிएचमैंඑ ள்එடி အိုფடிमैंएኢ," he spoke dryly into the speaker.

The device didn't say anything and Danny started to relax. An "I told you so" was already on his lips when, abruptly, the speaker crackled to life. "This is a waste of time," the machine spoke in a cold, feminine voice. "Fear and obey me."

Even though it wasn't his voice, Danny felt a rush of relief. Finally. Tucker looked just as pleasantly surprised as Danny was, whereas Sam was excited. "Was that right? It translated, didn't it, Danny? I can tell from your face — you look like someone's desecrated your grave," she teased.

Danny managed a smile. Despite his rotten mood, he finally had progress, so he decided to play along. "Дအိုကடி म्मूအိုಕೆኢ Աবিအိုயூடிएच Sam டிएचԱඑ விኢආஒ ਪੀኢආඑအိုကԱल ფအိုආ யூඑ ДኢԱਪੀल."

They all looked to the Ghost Gabber expectantly. Sure enough, it again spoke up after a moment of processing. "Don't joke about that, Sam. That's very personal for us dead people. I am a ghost. Cower before me," it said.

It was nice to be understood again after three days of speaking gibberish but Danny still grimaced. He hated the way the machine translated him — why did it have to add things like "fear me," at the end of everything he said? He was a scrawny fourteen-year-old boy. There wasn't much for people to fear.

"Alright, well… at least we're sure now that it's a ghost language." Tucker shrugged, giving Danny a half-hearted smile that the hero couldn't muster up the will to return. The fact that it was a ghost language didn't help. Danny still had zero control over it. "Do you think your parents will know anything about it? I mean, they did design this so they've gotta know something, right?" He held up the Ghost Gabber for emphasis.

"We could also ask another ghost about it," Sam suggested, "but I know you have way more enemies than friends when it comes to ghosts. What do you think, Danny?"

He frowned, thinking over his options. His parents could be very excitable and he didn't want to try getting around the question of how he spoke a ghost language so well. Then again, he could list the ghosts that actually liked him on one hand and still have fingers left over. Finding one of them who could help would be near impossible. There was also the third option to talk to Vlad but Danny had decided against that from day one.

"लኢடிඑ Աඑಕೆ एஒ ਪੀԱආኢကடிඑ ள்ኢሐက டிආஒ டிԱलಕೆमैंကგ டிအို გएचအိုடிඑ मैंფကအိုடிएचგ டியூආကඑ யூਪੀ wमैंடிएच டிएचኢए," Danny said.

He concentrated for a moment on the warmth in his chest where a beating heart ought to be and let his core fade into the background, taking his ghostly appearance with it in a flash of bright light. Unfortunately, it had been made painfully clear that being in his human form didn't make speaking English any easier but at least Danny looked like a normal teenager.

His transformation seemed to be enough of an answer for Sam and Tucker, even as the Ghost Gabber parroted back, "Let's ask my parents. We can try talking to ghosts if nothing turns up with them. Tremble before me."

Danny made a mental note to thank Sam and Tucker later for not laughing at the translations.

He shook his head, muttering under his breath as they made their way upstairs. Luckily, the Ghost Gabber didn't pick any of it up. It would have repeated some very unsavory words. At the top of the stairs, Danny quickly glanced into the kitchen. His parents weren't there, but the noises coming from the backyard told him that they were busy working on something outside. Likely, it was another addition to the Ghost Assault Vehicle. They kept trying to find a way to make the enormous RV faster, citing many failed attempts to keep up with Phantom as his top speed continued to increase.

Turning back to Sam and Tucker, Danny made sure that the Ghost Gabber was pointed at him before he began speaking. "Աलආमैंგएचடி ஒအိုயூ გயூஒඑ ආኢგအိုमैंက டிအို एचvኢ Дအို டிएचኢ டிलkमैंကგ म्मूயூsடி एԱಕೆኢ யூਪੀ එအိုएኢடிएचमैंကგ Աবিအိုயூடி එሐएचအိုल ආኢਪੀအိုආடி အိုက ДኢलԱကგயூኢඑ ¿အိုಕೆஒ? டிएचஒल বিயூஒ एचԱடி."

They were nice enough to look at Danny until he stopped talking but soon directed their attention to the Ghost Gabber. It took longer to process his words this time but, eventually, it spoke back. "Alright, you guys are going to have to do the talking. Just make up something about a school report on dead languages, okay? They'll buy that. Obey me. Fear me." That time, Tucker snickered. Sam elbowed him in the side, though Danny noticed that she was biting back a smile of her own.

He rolled his eyes, heading through the basement door and into the kitchen. Wisely, Tucker and Sam stayed quiet as they headed to the backyard. Of course, Danny would never hurt either of them, but he hadn't been able to communicate for three days. Not even in writing — it all came out the same way as his spoken words did. He was frustrated and confused and tired and he really didn't need his patience to be pushed anymore than it already had been. Danny made another mental note to thank his friends for their patience, too.

The three of them stepped into the backyard and, sure enough, his parents were tinkering with something underneath the GAV. Jack was under it while Maddie crouched next to him, talking in a chipper voice about ideas for their next project while she handed him the parts and tools he asked for.

Danny shot Tucker and Sam a meaningful look and they took the lead in front of him. Oblivious as always, Danny's parents didn't notice their approach until the three teens stopped right next to them.

Even then, Maddie made no move to stand up. She handed Jack the screwdriver he had asked for then shot a smile up at them. "Do you kids need something? Danny, hun?" She craned her neck to look at him but he didn't acknowledge that she had spoken. Confusion flitted across Maddie's face with a dash of concern but it was quickly wiped away as Sam cleared her throat and grabbed her attention.

"Um, actually Mrs. Fenton, we were hoping for your advice on this." Sam held the Ghost Gabber out for the scientist to see.

Maddie hummed, absentmindedly passing Jack a wrench as she observed her abandoned invention. "That?" She seemed amused. "We scrapped it months ago. Communication with ghosts has always been difficult and we realized that there was no point to it when the ghosts we are most interested in studying speak English." She didn't say it directly but Danny knew that she was talking about Phantom. He shuddered but otherwise didn't react. Gingerly, Maddie reached out, taking her invention from Sam's hands and turning it over. "It's been turned on," she remarked, surprised. "Have you been trying to use it? Why?"

Tucker and Sam shared a look. "Oh, um, it's for a school project," he said hastily. "Lancer's having us research a dead language, and we thought what's better than an actual language of the dead?" He joked, visibly nervous.

Luckily, Maddie didn't comment on it. She got to her feet, having apparently forgotten about her husband still working on the RV behind her. "Well…" she started slowly, pushing her goggles up to rest on her head before placing her free hand on her hip, "it was created to translate Kumiyx."

Danny's head snapped up, and his mom suddenly had his full attention. "¿ಕೆயூएमैंஒக்?" He repeated. His voice was sharp, the word rolling perfectly off of his tongue. Sam and Tucker stiffened, hoping that Mrs. Fenton didn't notice. Thankfully, she only nodded.

"Yes," Maddie remarked. "Kumiyx is the language of ghosts. Not everyone who dies speaks English. Kumiyx is a way for every ghost to communicate with each other. The language is ingrained into their brains from the moment of creation. That's why it's so difficult for humans to learn it," she explained. Maddie held up the translator for emphasis. "Hence, the need for translation."

"Do you speak any of it, Mrs. Fenton?" Sam asked politely. It was obvious that she was itching with curiosity, though.

Maddie went to shake her head, but then paused. She frowned, thinking over something, and then managed a tight-lipped smile. "X vahyyvac, rogdh H'e lmdh tcps kummb."

At the words, Danny visibly cringed. Her pronunciation was horrible and her accent was so thick that if Danny hadn't spent the last fourteen years of his life listening to her voice, he wouldn't have been able to even guess at what she was saying.

Before he could think it through, Danny snorted. "¿"ကအိုடி விኢආஒ გအိုД"? एኢඑԱგ ள்मैंடிएच एमैंக்ფ အိုආඑኢ ሐအိုДኢ বিमैंကԱආஒ ԱကД ኢඑਪੀආԱကடிအိ ள்အိုயூlД एचԱவிኢ एДኢ एအိုආኢ එကኢ." He didn't catch his mother's look of shock or the pale faces of Tucker and Sam. However, they all stiffened when the Ghost Gabber came to life in Maddie's hands.

""Not very good"?" It said and Danny recoiled as his smart remark was repeated for everyone to hear. "A message with a mix of Morse code, binary, and Esperanto would have made more sense. I am a ghost. Fear my power."

The silence between them was heavy with tension. No one spoke but there was the scrape of wheels on asphalt as Jack pulled himself out from under the car. He had been laying on a wheeled back support but now he sat up. Like Maddie, he didn't look at all concerned with the insult. Instead, his expression was a mixture of pride and confusion. "Danny," he spoke softly, causing his son to wince, "where did you learn to speak a ghost language?"

Danny felt the blood drain from his face. He licked his lips and said the only thing that came to his mind. "ფயூሐಕೆ."

The Ghost Gabber had no problem with that one. It blinked to life once more. "Fuck."

A/N: Edited as of August 7th, 2019

In honor of how popular this story is, I came back and reworked it! The story is the same, with some minor details changed, added, and fixed. I also completely overhauled my ghost speak language! I never liked it before and the new one is much more satisfying to look at.