"You did what?"

Dean cleared his thought and looked down, shifting on the motel bed. He couldn't take the intense stare anymore. It didn't lessen when he looked away but at least he didn't have to see the shocked look in the blue eyes.

"I made a deal with a demon to bring Sam back to life."

He hadn't even wanted to do this. He hadn't wanted to tell anyone, at all, but Sammy had forced his hand within a week. Bobby had known Sam was dead, and demanded an explanation within a day. Luckily, Cas hadn't been with them during that disastrous week, and Dean had managed to convince both of them to keep quiet about it. Sam was easy, all he had to do was say that once they got out of it, Cas would never need to know. Bobby was harder, but Dean was asking him to lie to his son, so he was shocked he even got the older hunter to agree. But now… now he had pushed it off as long as he could.

He risked a glance up. Cas wasn't looking at him anymore. He was staring at his hand, his expression blank. That worried Dean more than anything else.

"How long?" He asked, after a long moment of silence.

"…. Next month." Dean admitted, watching Cas's hands turn to fists. Cas's head shot up in surprise, his wide eyes right back on Dean.

"Out of what?" He asked, taken back. Dean couldn't blame him, as most deals gave people ten years. He wanted to lie again, tell his friend that it's only been a few days since the deal, but he couldn't. He had lied enough, he would be dead in a month, and Cas would find out from Sam and Bobby anyway.

"A year."

"And you only told me now?" Cas said sharply, eyes narrowing. He stood up, shaking with excess energy to just do something. He started talking with his hands, making Dean wince. He only did that when he was extremely upset. "We could have- we could have figured a way out of it, found a loophole-"

"Sammy's been trying all year. And anyway, if I get out of it, his life is forfeit." Dean explained, trying to keep his voice calm. It was a weird switch in dynamic, but Cas had a right to be upset. Cas just huffed, throwing his hand up like he was done.

"Right. Willing to sacrifice everything for your brother." He said, voice amused, but it felt hallow. He wasn't looking at Dean anymore, and Dean felt bad at the relief it was. But mostly, he felt angry at the words. How dare he say something like that? Cas had known them for years, since they were kids. He knew how important Sam was to him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked, glaring up at him. Cas glanced at him before dropping his gaze, sighing. His shoulders slumped, as if he lost all fight.

"Nothing…." He said quietly. Then he straightened up, and sounded more normal, more like himself. It was obvious it was an act. "No, no, I get it. If I were in your shoes… I get it. But why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry." Dean admitted. He hadn't. It was bad enough about the people he had to tell a year ago, but Cas hadn't needed to know about his impending death. Cas didn't need the stress. But Cas would never agree. And it looked like he didn't, if the way he looked at Dean incredulously.

"Didn't want- You're doing it again." He said, face falling flat into a stern look. Dean just looked at him confused at the sudden shift.

"What? Doing what?"

"Trying to protect me, like I can't take care of myself."

"I am not-" Dean tried to say, tried to explain.

"Yes you are. You've done it since we were teenagers Dean. Ok, so you can't get out of the deal. You could have let me know, and let me feel like I was doing something. Given Sam some help in research." Cas paused, before running his hand over his face. "… Dad knew didn't he?"

"Yes, he did. I begged him not to tell." Dean shook his head. "And wait, hold up, I do not try to protect you."

"Yes, you do. It's like all it took was one bad hunt to get you to forget that, one, I'm two years older than you, and two, I've been raised a hunter as well. Just because my father wasn't as big of a dick as John Winchester-"

"Ok hold up, you can't just talk about him like that-"

"You cannot sit there and tell me that Bobby Singer wasn't a better father than John Winchester. Hell, he was a better father to you as well." Cas snapped, actually raising his voice a little. Dean fell silent, still fuming. Cas wasn't wrong, but that didn't mean Dean liked the way he put it. No matter what John did, he was still his father. The glaring match last for a long moment, before it was Cas who sighed and dropped his gaze. He sat back down, hiding his head in his hands.

"So, you're dying in a month and we can't do anything about it."

"No, we can't." Dean confirmed. The room fell to silence again before Dean cleared his throat and shifted nervously on the bed. "Look, I know that I have no right to ask you anything right now-"

"Dean, no." Cas snapped, but it sounded half-hearted at best. He still wasn't looking at him. "I'm angry at you, but we're still friends."

"I need you to look after Sammy when I'm gone."

"I saw that coming." Cas said, finally looking up at him. All the anger seemed to have drained out of him, just leaving him sad. "Of course I will, you complete Idiot."

xXx

They met when Cas was 14, Dean was 12, and Sam was 8.

It was the first time John had left his sons at Bobby's. They had met the man before, when he came out to help on hunts, but it was the first time that John had a job close enough to South Dakota to even think of leaving the boys over there.

Dean wasn't happy with it. It was bad enough when his dad left them in a motel room while he hunted, but at least then John had faith in Dean to watch over and take care of Sam. But now, they were being left at his hunter friend's house, as if Dean wasn't enough to keep Sammy safe.

He didn't get out of the car when his dad parked it. He just watched John go and talk to Bobby, and Sam run up excitedly to the house, but he just stayed in his seat.

He was not pouting. He wasn't. He was nearly a teenager.

And he didn't jump when someone knocked on his window. He opened the door and glared, angry at this boy for bothering him. The boy didn't seem bothered by his glare however. He was just staring at him at him with blue eyes like he couldn't care less.

He didn't look like much. A few inches shorter than him, with messy dark hair and wide blue eyes. He looked like a child and Dean huffed.

"What do you want?"

"Dad told me to come help you with your bags." He said, not looking away from him. Dean raised an eyebrow.

"'Dad'?"

The boy rolled his eyes, the first reaction he got from him. "Bobby Singer. He's my dad. My name is Casly. Casly Singer."

"Your name is Casly?" Dean scoffed like he heard Dad do many times. "That's a stupid name. I'm calling you Cas."

"I rather you not."

"Too late. Help me with my bags, Cas."

Cas sighed, but still went to the back seat and grabbed a duffle. Dean thought about just staying in the car, but it wouldn't do him any good for his dad to come out and see him not pouting. So, with a sigh, he got up and went to go help Cas with the bags.

xXx

"Sam, you need to stop." Cas said, trying to keep his voice stern as he reached over to take the bottle from Sam. For all the good it did. The bottle was nearly empty, and Sam wasn't slowing down in the slightest.

"Shut up Cas." Sam snapped, words slightly slurred. Cas wasn't even sure how much he had drunk. "Why are you even here?"

"Because you're my friend." Cas snapped back, throwing the bottle into the woods as he quickened his pace to get in front of him. This, at least, seemed to stop him, at least for a moment. Sam just scoffed.

"Because Dean asked you to watch me." Sam said, taking a half-hearted step forward. Cas didn't move. "I don't need to be watched over. You should have stayed home!"

"So should you!" Cas said, finally losing his temper. "You should have stayed at Dad's, where if you were going to get drunk 24/7, you would at least be safe!"

"I don't need you babysitting me! I'm finding a way to bring Dean back!" Sam said angrily, before just taking out Ruby's knife. For a second Cas was sure Sam was going to use it on him, but Sam just dropped to his knees and started digging. Cas stared before realizing what Sam was trying to do, and tried to take a step forward. Sam just pointed to knife at him, making Cas stop.

He was fairly sure that Sam wouldn't attack him, but Sam wasn't in his right mind. He was drunk, dangerously so, and Cas was afraid that anything that came between him and saving Dean might be hurt. He couldn't let Sam do that, couldn't let him live with the knowledge that he had tried to hurt Cas, or anyone else. Cas just needed an opening, one that he was afraid he was going to find as Sam stuck the box in the dirt and covered it back up.

Sam stood back up, shakily and stumbling, and Cas took the opportunity to run forward and grab the knife from his hands. Maybe he could just kill the demon before a deal could even be made. Sam glared at him before looking around, getting angrier that no one had appeared.

"Come on!" Sam yelled, stumbling. Cas tried to take his arm to steady him. Sam just tore his arm away. "Where are you?!"

"Sam-"

"I was debating whether to come." The demon said, cutting Cas of by appearing. Sam seemed to have started ignoring Cas, walking past by him to the demon. Cas, meanwhile, tried to grab him to make him stop, but all it did was cause Sam to stumble before continuing. "After all, nothing's going to happen here." The demon whistled, looking Sam up and down. "And buddy, you don't look so good. Maybe try and sleep more. Get some veggies in your diet."

"Shut up." Sam snapped, before spreading his arm wide. "You know why you're here!"

"Yeah, I do." The demon said, amused. His eyes flicked to Cas, still holding Ruby's knife. "Tell him to drop the knife."

"Cas-"

"Sam, I am not dropping the knife." Cas snapped, eyes flickering between Sam and the Demon. He hated that both were a threat right then. Sam just shook his head.

"That doesn't matter. Just take me. Take me and let Dean go."

"Sam!" Cas snapped. "You can't-"

"Shut up Cas!" Sam yelled, not looking at him. The demon just shook his head amused, stepping forward since Cas was in no position to suddenly jump him, as focused on Sam as he was.

"Sam, Sam…" The demon leaned against the wooden pole of the porch they were by. "Selling your soul to save your brother's. You Winchesters are just in a cycle…"

The demon sounded like he was considering it, and Cas couldn't breathe. He knew how this was going to go. He could lunge forward, and try to kill the demon, could even succeed, but then what would Sam do? Sam already slipped him once tonight to get more whisky without him knowing, and had slipped him multiple times since they both left Singer's auto. Sam would get away from him, and summon another demon before Cas could find him, and sell him soul. Then Sam would be the one in Hell, and Dean would be back. Dean would be back, but he would be upset and angry at him for letting Sam sacrifice himself for Dean. Dean would just sell him soul for Sam, and the cycle would start all over again.

He couldn't let that happen.

"Take my soul." The words left his mouth before he even registered him. The demon looked at him in surprise, as if he had forgotten he was there. Sam glared at him.

"Cas!" He snapped, but Cas just talked over him. Now that he said it, he was going to go through with it.

"Take my soul in exchange for Dean Winchester's." He said, a lot calmer than he felt. He tried to stay still as the demon stared at him.

"Wait, you're…." The demon muttered, as if he couldn't believe something, before he shook his head. "No, no can do. On either of you. Dean's soul is staying right where it is."

"But-" Sam protested. The demon glared.

"Right. Where. It is." He said, much more forceful the second time. Sam looked ready to attack him with his bare hands, so Cas took the opportunity to lunge across the short distance and stabbed the demon in the heart.

xXx

Getting Sam back to the Impala wasn't as hard as Cas had thought it was going to be, mostly because Sam seemed to want to get back to the car anyway. It certainly made Cas's job easier. The other thing that made his job easier was the fact he had pickpocketed the keys from Sam during the walk. So while Sam was blearily trying to look through his pockets to unlock the door, Cas just stepped past him and got in the driver's side. He could feel Sam's glare on the back of his head, but the taller man got in the passenger side all the same.

Cas was glad there wasn't a fight about this. Even if Sam wasn't drunk off his ass, Cas still wouldn't have felt comfortable letting him drive in his grief. Cas was just glad that he himself was holding it together so well, to take care of Sam.

Aside from the numbing that he was honestly welcoming for the past month.

He started to car and gently pulled out of the dirt driveway Sam had parked it. This wasn't the first time he had driven the Impala, but it only served as another reminded that Dean was gone. Before…. Before, Dean had let Cas drive once, when Dean had been just a shade more drunk than he felt he could drive with. Now, it seemed he was the only one to drive the Impala anymore. Except when Sam was able to slip away, forcing Cas to hotwire a car to catch him.

"Why'd you do it?" Sam asked, sounding both angry and tired. Cas risked a glance over. He was leaned against the door, not looking at Cas, but Cas could see his expression in the window. He looked back at the road.

"Kill the demon? You heard him. He wasn't going to make a deal."

"No." Sam shifted to glare at him. "Try and sell your soul. Why did you do it?"

Cas sighed. He didn't want to talk about this. He was tired. The panic from earlier had left him, and he was back to feeling numb. He wished he could get drunk himself. "Why did you?"

"He's my brother!"

"And he was my best friend." Cas said, and that was that. He wasn't talking more. He was going to get Sam back to the motel room, and he was going to try and get some sleep himself. If he could.

Ruby and company had other ideas.

xXx

The one bad hunt actually happened during the two weeks Dean and Sam had stayed with Bobby the first time. It wasn't even technically a hunt.

Dean had been curious, and had been exploring some of the woods behind Bobby's house. He hadn't gone far, and felt that this close to the property, surely this was safe.

That didn't stop Cas from trying to stop him.

"I don't think we're aloud back here." Cas said. Dean huffed.

"I can still see the house from here. But you can leave whenever you want." He said, debating if he could climb the tree. He wasn't going to go far. Cas had nothing to worry about. He still needed to watch Sammy after all, and even if he was safe with Bobby in the house, Dean still wanted to get back soon. He just wanted to see what was out here first. Cas just shook his head.

"No, I don't want you to get in trouble." He said, before freezing. Dean looked at him in confusion. The other boy was just staring into the woods. Dean opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, when he suddenly felt a chill and he could see his breath. His eyes widened and he met Cas's eyes in understanding.

Ghost.

Dean grabbed the smaller boy's hand and started running to the house. He had no weapons on him, and he could only assume that Cas didn't either. He could see the house, he just needed to get back into shouting range.

And then he felt Cas's hand slip from his and he whirled around to see him being thrown back into a tree, hard. Cas fell in a heap on the ground, and before Dean could run over to check on him, Dean was thrown back as well.

There was the ghost, walking towards him. It was a girl about his age, in a dirty sweater and ripped jeans. Dean tried to sit up through the pain. He had been lucky enough not to hit his head, but he absolutely had bruises at the very least on his rips.

He needed something to hit her with.

Luckily enough, Bobby had picked this time to shoot the ghost girl.

Everything worked out in the end. Dean had worked through the pain and gotten Cas back to the house as Bobby went to go find the bones. Turns out, there had been a missing girl from town the year before. She had gotten broken up with and had written a note to her parents that she was running away. She just didn't get very far, tripping and falling down a hill in the woods surround the town and dying.

It was such a little thing, but the sight of Cas unconscious and with a head wound rom where he had hit the tree always stuck with Dean.

So yeah, maybe he was a tad over protective, with both his brother and his friend.

xXx

"I don't like this Sam." Cas said, watching as Ruby gently got the newest guy into her car to take to the hospital. He was glad the man was safe, and free of demons, but he hated the way they had saved him. Sam just shook his head.

"It's fine Cas." He said, and he sounded better than he had a month ago. Cas couldn't help but feel relived at that, as bad as it was. "I'm helping people, and I'm getting stronger."

"But demon blood... This is all a bad idea." All of his protests were half-hearted at best. After a month of watching Sam get worse and worse, he was thankful that something had happened to stop the down slide. He hadn't known how much longer he could have kept up watching his friend like that.

Except now without something to distract him, the numb feeling was back and worse than ever. He was less thankful for it now, now that he didn't have to focus on Sam 24/7, but it just didn't seem to be going away.

"It's going to be fine Cas." Sam said, and looked at him a long moment. He suddenly looked worried, and Cas wondered what he saw. It was a little amusing, how the tables had turned in a month. Cas just shook his head and looked away.

"I'm going to get something to drink." He said, grabbing his jacket and walking towards the door. He ignored Sam's calls for him to wait. He didn't have to worry about Sam right then, so he was going to get drunk.