It's been like, a long time since I updated this one. So sad, it used to be my favorite story. Wonder what happened? Anyways, it's a short chapter, just like all my other stuff nowadays. Hope you all enjoy, this one's just more fun than anything.

Issei and Rossweisse, both grinning like idiots, walked amongst the various stalls and shops inside the festival ground. They were close enough to practically be wearing each other, and even the people around them could see that they were radiating happiness, enough to almost cast a glow.

"Hey lovebirds! Come win a prize!" A jovial man shouted, waving at the two. They glanced at one another, then approached the man in his game stall. He laughed, happy to have someone actually come over.

"What's the game, old man?" Issei asked, inspecting the stall. He knew enough about these kinds of things to tell that almost all games this one were rigged in some way; but it just looked like a baseball game to him. Three pyramid-shaped stacks of empty old-style milk bottles stood on a table, with a rack of different prizes behind them. A bucket of baseballs sat on another table, right in front of Issei.

"This is a waste of money, Issei…" Rossweisse whispered, knowing Issei would more than likely be swayed by the challenge anyway. As much as she didn't want him to waste any money on a stupid stall game, she had to admit she'd always fantasized about the winning-your-girlfriend-a-teddy-bear trope with Issei.

"Knock over some bottles, win a prize. Knock over all the bottles, win two. Knock over less than three, I win your money for free~!" The man said, giving a hearty laugh. "A hundred yen for three balls, whaddya say? Win something nice for the lady, huh? Unless you're too chicken!" Issei nodded, narrowing his eyes in acceptance of the challenge. He handed a 100-yen coin to the vendor, who gestured to the bucket of balls with a grin.

Issei took one of them, readying in a pitcher's stance. He noted that the ball was a bit lighter than normal, but didn't stop. He threw a perfect fastball, and nailed the middle bottle in the centermost pyramid. Simple physics detected that they'd all fall, even if he hadn't thrown the ball at over seventy miles per hour.

But, they didn't. The top three bottles of the pyramid were flung away, but the base stayed put.

Issei gawed. He'd thrown the ball hard enough to give someone a concussion.

"Ha! Looks like your throw is a little light, eh kid?" The vendor laughed, twirling his mustache.

"Guess so, you old sack of dirt. Watch this one, then." Issei picked up another ball. 'The bottom ones probably have something heavy in them, like lead. That means, go for them, and the whole thing falls. Easy.'

Issei wound up again, aiming for the half-gone stack of bottles he'd already started on. He threw the ball at mach speed once more, and successfully took out the rest of the pyramid.

"Alright kid, you win a prize. But, you don't have enough balls to finish the rest off, isn't that sad? Tell you what, I like you; let's go all or nothing. 100 yen more, you get one more ball, and if you knock them both over you get two prizes. Don't, and you get squat. Deal?"

"Deal!" Issei forked over another coin, determined to win the double prize.

Rossweisse facepalmed. Leave it to her boyfriend to get swindled at a carnival game. No, wait. Not boyfriend...husband. She looked at the lock of his hair wrapped around her ring finger for probably the thousandth time in the past hour, reminding herself that they were really married. It still didn't seem real to her, but she loved it all the same.

She briefly wondered how Gondul might react. A shiver went down her spine at the thought. She went back to watching her husband exchanging shit-talk with the stall vendor, trying to glean more information on how rigged it was.

Now, Issei wasn't one to back down from an honest challenge.

But, this was far from an honest challenge.

As he'd guessed, lead was in all of the bottles, and most of the balls had some of the interior removed, to take the weight off kilter- so, honest wasn't really the word to use.

All that said, however, Issei wasn't exactly going to play fair himself.

'All or nothing,' the vendor had said. So he was going to give his all.

Issei wound up his pitching stance, pouring just a teensy bit of magic into his arm.

His throw put major league baseball players to shame, clocking in at 140 mphs. The bottles from both his target pyramid exploded into the other remaining pyramid, sending every single one to the ground.

"Ha! Take that, gramps! Gimme my prizes!" Issei said, underhanding his last ball back to the vendor.

"That's...impossib...fine. But I'm keeping the yen, to pay for my busted bottles." The vendor said begrudgingly.

"More like your wounded pride, cheat."

"Whatever. Two prizes, whadda ya what?" The vendor asked, pointing to all his available prizes.

Stuffed animals, candy, tiny accessories, knick knacks. Issei's eyes wandered over everything, until something caught his gaze.

"Rose, close your eyes." He said, staring at something on the vendor's table.

"Alright…" Rossweisse complied, wondering what he'd pick.

Once he saw that she'd done as he asked, Issei plucked his winnings from the table.

Two lavender ribbons.

Trying to be as discreet as possible, Issei tied one on the right side of Rossweisse's long silver hair, and then one on the left. He was certain she felt it, but didn't react other than making a questioning expression.

"Not bad, kiddo." The vendor remarked, a proud smile on his face. He handed Issei a hand-held mirror, so she could see his handiwork.

"Alright, check it out." Issei said, holding the mirror in front of Rossweisse.

Rossweisse gasped. They were the exact same as the ribbons she'd had as a child, when she'd met Issei. Naturally, she'd grown out of them at some point, but he'd apparently remembered.

"Do they look good?" She asked, turning her head side to side.

"Duh," Issei answered. "Thanks, pops. Keep the change." He said, and flipped a five-hundred yen coin to the vendor.

Moving on, the two of them walked around and around through the various stalls, looking at this and that and everything else.

After a while, they passed by a stand with a red dragon painted on a sign, and it caught Issei's eye. A sleazy-looking guy with black hair and a goatee was running it, wearing a black kimono.

It was Koga, who noticed the pair of them instantly.

"Dragonslayer sake, here! Say kids, you look thirsty. Have a drink!" Koga said, gesturing the couple over to him.

Issei, happy to see a familiar face, glanced at Rossweisse, who was violently shaking her head.

That didn't really stop him from pulling her over to the stall.

"Hey, uncle Koga!" Issei said, excited.

"How's it going Issei? Aren't you a couple of lovebirds, huh? You two having a good time?" Koga asked, taking three sake glasses out of a cupboard.

Now, Issei had never even drank sake before, but something about the stand had him enthralled. He knew Koga was practically famous in Kuoh for his skill in brewing, but his father had never let him try any before.

"Oh yeah. Nice festival." Issei said shortly, watching with bated breath while the man poured sake. The smell was encapsulating, and he couldn't think about anything except drinking it.

"Issei, I can't really hold my liquor very well…" She wasn't opposed to drinking with him, not at all, but she didn't really want to go crazy.

"What, you're not scared are you? Walk into my restaurant with a big bad wolf right out of a fairy-tale, and you won't even drink some sake? Bah." Koga said good-naturedly, grinning like mad. He handed a cup to Issei, who eyed it like some golden treasure. "Sure you don't want any, Ross?"

"I don't, thank you-"

"It's free~." Koga said, instantly diagnosing the type of woman she was.

Rossweisse is a lot of things. She's smart. She's beautiful. She's kind, and a good person. But above all- Rossweisse is frugal. She's the ultimate penny-pincher, and she's the type to shop at exclusively dollar stores, earning her the nickname 'cheapskate' in Valhalla.

So, having been offered something free...she couldn't find it in herself to turn it down.

"W-well, I can't really refuse your kindness…" Rossweisse said quietly, taking a glass from the man.

"Great! Let's all drink at once, huh? On three." Koga held up his own glass, shortly followed by Issei, and eventually, Rossweisse.

"One, two, three!"

They all drank at the same time.

A bit of explanation- there's only two people in Kuoh that can get blackout drunk off of less than a glass of sake. Rossweisse was one, and, come to find out, the only person who can tolerate less alcohol than her- was Issei.

Koga was fine. But, for Issei and Rossweisse, everything went black.

"You're silly~..."

"Yes, quite."

"I made you talk englishh~!"

"Bloody amazing, luv."

"What the hell is going on here?!"

Anna had just opened the door to Issei's room, expecting to see him in bed, possibly with Rossweisse.

Instead, she was greeted with a far stranger scene. Rossweisse, in a top hat, talking to Mischief in complete nonsense. The wolf was wearing a somehow-properly-tied-tie and a cat-ear headband, seated in human's sitting position on an actual chair, and he had a look that told Anna "please help me." Rossweisse, in her drunken stupor, had somehow cast a spell on the wolf that allowed him to talk, but only in the Queen's English.

Issei was nearby, but not in the usual sense- he was on all fours, his head was in a hole in the wall, and he had a lampshade on his rear end.

"Ayyy, Anna~! Ish me, your daughter in law~! Rothweith!" Rossweisse said, in a horribly slurred voice. She unsteadily held up her right hand, pointing at her ring finger. Of course, that was the wrong hand, but Anna saw the hair-ring anyway.

"You come home...at this ungodly hour...drunk off your asses...and married?!" Anna screamed out at the top of her lungs. Rossweisse giggled and hiccuped, her top hot sliding down to the side of her head and hanging on with only a string around her chin.

The two Hyoudou men in the house shared a very similar reaction to Anna's yelling- Gorou, in his bedroom sleeping, woke up in a brief fit of terror, having heard his wife's outburst and thought he was the one who made her mad. In his haste, he shot up and hit his head on the bed's headboard, immediately knocking him out and sending him back to sleep.

Issei, having the exact same reaction, even piss-drunk, shot up in fear- only to hit his head on a board inside the wall and knock himself out too.

"Absolute rubbish," Mischief said, "That you can't get a good cuppa' tea around here."

Apparently the dog wasn't speaking on his own, but rather just regurgitating random british sounding phrases, which ironically enough made far more sense.

Anna stared at the dog with such pure disbelief in her eyes that her very reaction was enough to break the odd spell, and Mischief was back to speaking normal wolf.

Coming back to focus on the scene around her, Anna practically snarled, and went over to her son that was impaled in the wall. She grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him out, holding him up at eye-level with only one hand.

"Wake up, you sack 'a shit." Anna said, in a voice that promised pain.

Issei felt her cold words all the way into his soul, and immediately woke up. He looked up at his mom's burning eyes, and almost peed himself.

"Hi-hi, mom~..." He said, still drunk. He exhaled shakily, and Anna caught a whiff of Koga's famous sake on his breath.

"Koga, you rat bastard." Anna mumbled, throwing her son back into the wall and knocking him unconscious for the second time.

"Bye, Anna~" Rossweisse waved at Anna as the woman left the room, disdain on her face.

"Urgh...my head." Issei groaned, his head pounding almost as hard as it did after he'd nearly been eaten alive by a wolf. He went to move, only to realize he was stuck in a wall. With a grunt and a twist, he pulled himself free, only to blanch in horror.

Not only was he stuck in a wall, he was stuck in his wall at home, which meant he'd have to explain to his mother why the wall had an Issei-head sized gouge in it.

"Mornin'."

Issei turned to see Rossweisse, facedown on his bed. She looked like hammered shit, and her immaculate kimono from the night before was at some point replaced with a red tracksuit. She had grunted a greeting to him once she heard him wake up, but now she was worried if she said anything else, she might...make a mess. Mischief was sprawled out on top of her, as if to keep her from floating away.

"Rossweisse...what happened?"

The poor girl, making an effort to move as little as possible, pointed to a folded up note on his nightstand. Groaning and holding his head, he moved to collect it.

"Dear Issei.

It is with a huge amount of pride and hilarity that I inform you of what happened last night. After you and your girlfriend got shitfaced, you two and I got kicked out of the festival and proceeded to tear the town apart. I dropped the two of you off at your house, at which point I made my hasty escape, but I guess your mom put two and two together because I found her in my living room by the time I got home. Suffice to say, I'll be walking with a limp from here on out, but damn was it worth it.

Koga

PS. Don't be surprised if some people in town give you guys funny looks for a while. Trust me, we painted Kuoh red. Don't think too hard about it."

"Oh, shit." Issei said, before feeling an ominous and menacing presence at his door.

"Oh shit is right, twerp." Anna said, peering in through a crack in the door with hellfire in her eyes.

Rossweisse groaned.

Don't know if I'll be updating this one as much as my other ones, I don't really have a solid plot planned out- well...I do, but I'm quite certain none of you would've liked it. It involved Loki taking Rossweisse's form and killing Anna in front of Gorou, who goes into juggernaut drive against the real Rossweisse, and shit just gets crazy. That's definitely not happening anymore, so don't freak out- but I am pretty much out of ideas at the moment, so if you've got something than let me hear it.

Anyway, hope you all liked this little chapter, gonna probably update His Angel or Cat Scratch Fever next- for those of you who live under a rock, that's my latest and greatest story, about Kuroka.

Okay, that's all I've got for now. Same song and dance, review or pm or whatever. If I don't get back to your PM right away, don't freak out- it's hard to juggle a lot of those at once and I've got a really shit memory, so if I don't hit you back in a day or two I probably just forgot. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed!

See you next mission!