-T/N: Took me long enough to post this. I kept adding things out of order and confusing myself. Why do I suck at editing so much. Non-native English speaker here, have mercy on all my grammar mistakes.

Chapter Four

Like A Rainbow Over Cracked Asphalt

Obito, apparently, has a date with destiny. He prepares accordingly and applies liberally the most violent shade of purple lipstick he can find. It goes wonderfully with his hair and eyeshadow, if he may say so himself. And he most certainly may.

There's a giddy feeling inside his stomach, but he's not entirely sure of the cause. Might be that all the parallels are giving his cracked psyche something to laugh about. A mysterious masked man has invited him to join an infamous group of criminals. Isn't that just novel. Who would have though something like this would happen? Is this even reality anymore? Skull is indeed very shocked!

Also little disappointed. The masked man had been almost polite if you ignored his generally threatening air and his rather insisted demeanour that made it Crystal clear that Skull would be attending their little criminal meeting or else.

The other man had finished their rather one-sided conversation with throwing some hooked information about Flames and exciting new powers. Skull is sure a normal confused civilian would have taken the bait eagerly.

Obito had just mentally narrowed his eyes and loudly criticized the other man's delivery.

Really, that's it? That's all you are going to do? This sort of luke-warm shit would never have worked with Akatsuki. Their modus operandi in the beginning had been to fully acknowledge that the people they were inviting were uncooperative assholes that would hardly heed polite invitations.

It was fine to spare few words of enticement and try to charm the other Missings Nins into getting interested in their little Mercenary Organisation. And when that inevitably failed, they let an ugly thug (Konan) to beat them till the Candy fell out and drag their Still somewhat live carcasses back to the headquarters by their ankles.

Worked every damn time. Like a charm! Easy diplomacy that even retards like Hidan understood. You win. You go. We win. You stay and be our slave subordinate. Easy!

"Ohohoho-" Obito laughs like a crazy person while looking at his reflection in the cracked mirror. He adjusts his eyepatch with careful consideration and admires the Skull motif over it. After all, he has an aesthetic to live up to now!

He knows somewhere Deidara-senpai is so proud of him.

Pfft-

He inks a Small seal under his other eye. Nothing impressive, his seal work had never reached high-levels. Just something low-leveled to keep his Genjutsu in Place. He's paranoid enough to assume he will get knocked out cold somewhere along the line while pretending to be a civilian and really doesn't want the ruse to be up just because of some stupid scars.

His Seal looks like a teardrop. A purple teardrop because he has an aesthetic to-

"Crybaby Obito", he hears someone say mockingly in the mirror.

His Sharingan burns.

He means to arrive early. He really means to. It's just... ah, his next-door neighbor.

"Oh, Skull. Hello dearie."

Obito tightly smiles at the tiny elderly lady that staggers over to him. Warily eyeing her shopping bags, full enough to burst.

He knows where this is going but damnit all he will fight fate. Fight till he drops!

Forty-minutes later, after helping his elderly neighbor carry her shopping bags to her house, getting bullied into drinking tea and eating cake, and being shown pictures of alarming amounts of cats that she has owned, Obito finally, with some desparation breaks free by the arrival and Swift sacrificial of the Mailman.

"He loves cats. He has told me he has two of them!" Skull ignores the betrayed looks the Mailman sends his way. Obito has done his share of being imprisoned by an obsessive, crazy old coots. No more! Someone else can take a turn.

He makes up for the lost time by abandoning his bike early on and taking it up to trees. Pitiful, tiny, withered things though they may be, Obito can Still balance himself well enough not to break any branches.

The premises are empty when he arrives. As expected. Their agreed upon meeting time is Still two-hours away.

This gives him plenty of time to discover possible traps and ambushes that might be awaiting for him. Cursory glance with Sharingan shows… nothing so far, good, good. Although soon enough another little snooper arrives and hides himself into shadows of some rather droopy pines.

Obito squints at the blond man, who is silently making a hidey-hole for himself on the forest floor and observing their designated Super Secret Criminal meeting Place with a rather heavy duty looking binoculars.

Doesn't he know this guy? Hasn't he met him somewhere before? Obito has some vague recollection of some dumbass Minato-sensei Clone breaking his perfectly serviceable door for some unknown reason.

Also violently throwing his mirror at him.

It's the same man. He is fairly certain. Not many wear that much green. He would say no one wears that much green, but… well… Gai.

In any case no need to bother with the clone. If he's been invited, they will exchange greetings again inevitably.

And if he hasn't been invited, well- That's even more fun. Unwanted Spies and lurkers are something of a norm for secret Oprations of any importance. Blondie had even twitched and thrown a glance at the tree-tops when Obito had jumped too close. Not too hopeless. The man also would seem to have some long-ranged fighting abilities if the long barreled gun- rifle?- besides him has anything to say about it.

Obito mentally adds the blondie into his Bingo Book.

As the agreed upon time ticks closer people start to arrive. Somewhat… semi-familiar looking people.

Obito squints his eyebrows at the red wearing pretty boy that walks on near silent steps and the indigo wearing little shit that appears from ether. Because really. Really? Is this World really that fucking small!?

When the trigger happy harlot and the Hitman arrive Obito has pretty much thrown his hand up in the air and given up on living.

''Is this Karma!?'' Obito mentally screams at the Heavens.

If the forces of the universe must hit him with Karma do they really have to start with such… Akatsuki related retribution.

They were Missing-Nins! The ultimate bad guys! In a World where the bar for evil wasn't exactly low. Ninja-Villages considered murderers for pay a perfectly good Profession and Missing-Nins Still managed to get the shameless criminal asshat stamped on their records. That took some actual talent. What did Obito ever do to them to deserve this!?

Except... you know. Sacrificing most of them in the altar of his non-existent love life.

''...''

''Heh''

Good times.

Obito idly kept pumping chakra to his optic nerves to keep the Sharingan active. Better press these people into his memory, for his Bingo Book if nothing else.

After a woman in the most ridiculous and ugly looking puffy hat that Obito has ever seen enters, no one else seems to be coming.

Just in case Obito Waits for a while. And a little while more.

It's only after the blondie start shifting nervously in the bushes that Obito decides to make an entrance. Silently jumping down from his tree and letting his Sharingan fade.

Backtracking some two-hundred meters from the entrance and ruffling his hair to look extra messy -and even adding a fallen leaf in the mix, he forces a sunny, excited smile on his face.

Here we go then.

Skull starts running.

There's a rather obvious tripwire running across the doorway. Skull naturally takes an eager step and trips over it in his hurry, all the while waving his arms around like a pinwheel and screeching loudly as he goes down.

He falls on his face with a loud Oofh!"

He doesn't need to be a Yamanaka mindreader, to know the thought of every single person in the room at that moment. They are loud and clear in the cutting silence.

Pathetic.

Skull mentally pats himself on the back for the job well done. First impressions were so important.

"Sorry I'm late!" Skull dusts himself and grins at the strangers seated around a big, wooden table. "I got lost on the road of life!"

Eyes of many colors stare at him. Taking in his hair, his eyepatch and the teardrop tattoo, his biker gear, everything. Some eyes suddenly seems to Flash with brighter hues, different from the original, ordinary eye-color, which is interesting.

It's quite surprising. All these semi-familiar faces. It makes him think someone has managed to manipulate him somewhere along the line.

He does not care for it at all and mentally adds double S danger ranking on the masked man's page in his shiny new (Coming soon) Bingo Book.

They are all sitting in varying shades of tense silence. No one seems willing to make any sort of contact other than brief evaluating glares and stares and fake smiles.

Ah, how this reminds him of Chunin-Exams. All this infantile posturing.

Skull half hesitantly, half eagerly makes his way to the only chair left free. (The blondie is not coming then?) The legs make screeching sounds as Skull drags it away from the table and slumps down on it.

The blue haired bitch on his right is glaring at him in a very hostile manner. Skull moves nervously few inches away from her and tries to smile winningly at the whole room.

"Hi! Did I miss Anything?"

The ugly hat lady smiles back. So very warmly that, it comes across as fake and almost disinterested.

"You came only a little late. We were just starting to introduce ourselves and wondering who would like to go first." Her tone is even and self-assured. In control.

Yikes. Benevolent leader type in a big ugly hat. Why do they always have such ridiculous headwear? Hello Sarutobi! Didn't expect to see you with boobs.'

Not that Obito can criticise on that front anymore… But Skull can! Skull has never been foolish enough to stuff melons down his shirt- yet.

He grins and decides to go first.

"Hiya! My name is Skull! The Immortal Stuntman. I like riding on my motorbike and doing stunts! I don't like mean people. And my dream for the future… I don't have one! Who goes next?"

The following startled silence is broken by the puffy-hat woman. She's fucking giggling. Like he said something funny.

Obito kind of hates her. It's not an unfamiliar feeling. Sort of comforting in its familiality, actually.

"That was very good. I'll go next then, shall I?" She gives another one of those warm benevolent smiles and Obito wants to hit her.

"My name is Luce. I am the Boss of Giglio Nero. I like baking and drinking tea. Hmm... there are not many things I dislike?"

Others take their turns, surprisingly following Skull's beat and giving the same ridiculous team seven introductions. Good grief.

It ends with the Hitman being last to introduce himself. The man gives a vaguely disinterested look at the whole room and in the end only reveals just his name. His stupid fake name Reborn. What even is that supposed to be? Skull is so much better.

And really. Technically Skull is likely the only one who gave his real name in their little get together. Skull has all the paperwork and workplace full of colleges to prove it!

Skull is a civilian after all. He doesn't know better.

He beams at the others happily, his single eye narrowing into crescent. Aren't we getting along well? At Akatsuki HQ someone would be bleeding at this point.

Obito distractedly watches as the puffy head lady leaves and comes back. Luce brings out cookies. Obito feels awfully wronged somehow. This is how she is going to run the show. Fucking cookies!?

When she asks if anyone wants to eat some, Skull waves his powdery hand eagerly. Begging for one.

There's some feeble hope that they are poisoned in some manner. Even as a greeting test to see what they would do. That would be tolerable. And he has not yet managed to test his new hearty constitution against toxins.

Eating is a chore and half he has noticed. Going so long without needing to eat had spoiled him. During his first week in this World, it took him three days to realise that the pain in his stomach meant hunger. After that he almost managed to choke on bread and die. Somehow his brain had managed to forget how swallowing food worked. Because that was how his life always went.

Even now he had to concentrate, taking only small mouthfuls and carefully chewing.

It was annoying. He made sure to eat with his mouth open just to share some of his suffering.

From the blue haired woman's- Lal's- glare, he was succeeding.

Throwing his head back in satisfaction he burbed and grinned. "Delicious!" And not even hint of the grainy texture of poison you useless, idiotically dressed-

Something pokes at him. In a weird incorporeal manner, Obito retaliates almost on instinct by setting the whole Place on fire but manages to stop himself even before making the first hand-seal. This makes it seem like he's squirming and wringing his hands in discomfort, which is fine. Still in character! Skull is a restless person, after all. Ahaha. And something pokes at him again. Obito has just managed to wrestle his defensive fury back down when it flares again, this time his Flames want to join the party too. Obito hastily manages control and push down his Orange Flame but the Purple one is having none of that shit.

It takes wrestling with his own Flames to notice that his are not the only ones in the room, freely mulling about. He doesn't see them. Not with his eyes anyway but he knows they are here. Flowing around him like water, occasionally brushing against his own bristling fire.

His Sharingan is begging to be used but that would be a horribly stupid idea. The whirling of chakra near his retina makes eye water. He uses that to make himself to look scared enough to tear up and shrinks into himself.

It's not difficult to act like startled ignorant moran because that is precisely what he is at the moment. When someone else's(!) Flames reach out and poke at him again he does nothing to hide the resulting flinch.

The braid boy, Fon, is watching him from the other side of the table. He's the one doing this? When Skull's single violet eye catches his the other looks at him carefully and-

His eyes turn red. Motherfu-! It's a testament of ultimate willpower that Obito doesn't punch him in the face right then and there.

No tomoe. Let's focus on that. No tomoe and the shade is all wrong. Not Sharingan. Not an Uchiha.

Different World. Right. Right.

But what's with the eye color changing? What for?

There's a memory at the back of his mind. Years and years ago his older cousins did something similar. When they met up after separation and didn't feel like giving out their entire ninja registeration number, they would Flash their Sharingans' at each others as a proof of identity. No enemies here.

Testily he lets his Purple Cloud Flames flare behind his eye. Making iris glow dimly with the same color.

The braid boy quirks his lips and finally turn his gaze away from Skull, apparently satisfied.

Was that... how they say hello?

They have stopped with the freezing silence and started tentatively chat with each others. Obito answers questions while paying only half-attention. The other half is used to track all the invisible fire filling the room.

Holy shit. There's quite alot of it. In all the colours of the rainbow.

He's freaking out. Just a little. But he doesn't like it. How all these other people keep lightly brushing and prodding his own Flames. It's making him irritated and unsure. It's giving him weird sensations and feelings that are not his own in the least.

So apparently Flames are used in non-verbal communication. Good to know. Too bad Obito doesn't speak the language. It's hard enough to trying to differentiate which one of these losers is pushingproddingpoking at him in turn to actually focus on what they are trying to convey with it.

His Cloud Flames keep wanting to fight these people. And nothing civilised like sparring but a good old fashioned let's keep going until one of us drops dead, okay, kind of fighting.

He's keeping a lid on the violence, but It's giving him such a headache.

The puffy-head lady Luce is the worst. She's somehow all over the place. Like a fog. All of her Orange Fire making him antsy as hell.

But there's an opprtunity in her fire. It's burning so brightly and so very obviously. No one would notice a thing if he inserts some his own Orange Flames in the mix.

...probably...

It's an experiment! For Science! He has been hoping for more test subjects. The first experiment with Renato-Reborn was such a flop.

Orange Sky Flames are some sort of Brainwashing power, right? Right! Some kind of Friendship Bond Scam thing.

Obito misses having people to boss around!

Making his Sky Flame as thin as one of Sasori's puppet strings is difficult. The damn thing keeps wanting to Flare up for some reason but Obito is nothing but stubborn in face of an objective. Come on now, be good fire and behave.

The end result is... eh good enough. Skull yawns and looks around the room, trying to find a suitable test-subject.

Ah-ha. Bingo! There's the green haired one- washisname-Verde is quietly chatting with puffy-hat Luce. Both of their Flames swirling around not touching but not far off either.

Obito makes his little flame string go under Luce's gently flowing Flames. This would be so much easier with a Sharingan but no-one gets alarmed or seems to notice anything so, one win for the Ninja!

If Obito jabs the green haired man's Flames more forcefully than he intends, he can only blame this roomful of ''Teachers'' for showing him such crude way of doing things.

Just like Skull earlier, the green-haired man flinches. Hah! Not so fun, when it's happening to you, is it. Obito intends to reel his Flame back a little and give it a another go but-

The fucking thing is stuck!

Oh fu- He forgot that the Orange Flame is a clingy shit!

No time for subtlety. Obito simply wrenches his Flames back, ignoring how Small few embers get separated and stay in the green-haired man's Flames.

Skull starts happily chirping at Lal like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. Nothing to see here. No Sir. All is normal and well.

"Hey, do you know if I can ask Luce to serve booze with the cookies? I kinda want to drink now."

"Dunno." Lal doesn't even pretend to be interested in this line of conversation. Rude!

Side-eyeing the green-haired man gives him full view of the others' vaguely constipated expression before it smoothes out. Verde in turn frowns at the table before narrowing his eyes at Luce, lips thinning but not saying anything.

Obito is off the hook! Who told Luce to flare her Flames so strongly. All orange fire related incidents are obviously related to her.

It's good to be bad. Obito lets his attention sift around from person to person. Trying to glance under the Mist Flames User- Viper's- hood without the other noticing. Luce giggles again and starts a new conversation. This time with their resident Hitman.

Skull gets little distracted over Observing the Hitman's seduction tactics. They are very smooth. Top Class really, as far as he can tell. There's just the right amount of distant coldness paired with only you can melt it vibes. Making their interaction seem very natural and almost warm.

Obito never took any seduction classes. Those had been available for boys during war-time but one needed to be recommended by their Academy teacher first before applying. Kakashi had been recommended of course. Obito had noted then that most of the boys chosen had belonged to the pretty boy category or had been otherwise accomplished.

Obito does not know if he should feel relieved or disturbed that his Academy Teacher had apparenty taken a good, long look at him and decided that, "Nobody will ever want to tap that."

Obito decides to settle for feeling relieved. He had a distant memory of snooping around Konoha's sealed Records and discovering by accident that their most successful Ninja in Seduction Missions had been Orochimaru of all people. For six years in a row!

That just says it all, doesn't it?

Skull stuffs his mouth full of cookies once more and narrows his eye in contempt that he disguises as enjoyment.

Giving a quick glance from under his lashes at the people present, he comes to a firm conclusion.

I don't like you, idiots ,at all.

So they get their own house. A Mansion really. A big-ass one. Middle of a forest. There are wallpapers lining the walls. Very tasteful Wallpapers.

Obito tries not to think disloyal thoughts about Akatsuki hideout when compared to The Mansion. But.. this house has natural lighting.

Fuck it. They were an Organization of Missing-Ninjas. They weren't that big on loyalty in the first Place.

Akatsuki HeadQuarters are such a shit-hole compared to this.

It promises nothing good of course. That they are getting shoved with such riches from the get go buuut-

So what if this ends badly?

So what.

It's just Karma in the end.

Skull pounces around the hou- Mansion! Calling dibs on the biggest room. Getting booted out of it by Reborn and settling for finding a new one.

Luce is calling for another little meeting. They are expected do missions. For a mysterious man Called Checkerfce. Luce expects good team-work from all of them. She has Sky Flames so she's their Team-leader.

This is going to be such a shit-show. Skull can't even wait.

Great news though. As it gets closer to evening Luce brings out bottles of alcohol to keep them relatively friendly and chatty.

Skull is a morose drunk. Obito decides. For no other reason that he has no energy left to be so damn chirpy all the time.

Skull has no objections and briefly lifts his class in a salute for that poor blond sucker, probably Still hiding in the bushes somewhere nearby.

Why does other people's misery feel so good when you are sitting on a comfy, warm sofa, glass full of spirits in hand.

Ah cannot be helped. Laughing at poor suckers is his new Ninja-way.

The old one was rubbish.

"So, Skull." Obito blinks at the blue haired woman who is talking to him. "Where were you from exactly? We've already figured out that Verde is from French and Reborn is painfully Italian."

Obito mulls that question for a moment and slurs much more drunkenly than he really is.

"I grew in a Small Village middle of a Forest." Skull lets his single eye mist over. "It is gone now. Just like my childhood."

Lal stares at him. "That was the most russian thing I have ever heard."

It's good enough answer it seems. Skull is from Russia now.

It comes up soon enough. The glaringly obvious fact that Skull is an innocent civilian with zero experience in crime. Certainly not part of any Mafia famiglia or Organization of any repute. Not even a freelancer!

Skull shifts around awkwardly while others glare and shake their heads at him.

"Then what use are you?" The Hitman asks, not really expecting response.

"Umm, I can drive really well." Skull taps his fingers together uncertainly. "So there is that…"

Obito thinks he drives well anyway. He doesn't have a real licence but then again none of his paperwork is exactly real so...

He can understand their ire: he really can. No one would have liked a civilian in Akatsuki. Even if the poor sod had some amazing Kekkei-Genkai to make up for the lack of any useful training, it still would not be nowhere near good enough.

It's what separated them from the civilians after all. Not just random powers but the knowledge how to use them and will to train years to perfect their craft. Their Nindou.

And Obito suspected that this Arcobaleno Organization was a little more… well respected, in their mafia community than Akatsuki ever was in Elemental Nations.

Both had Criminals but no one had betrayed anyone to be here. Or if they had then loyalty to their Village was certainly lesser deal here than it had been at home.

They all held their heads up like they were proud to be here. It was bizarre.

"No one has time to teach you the basics." The older (Hah!) man drones. Eyes narrowed.

Is Obito just imagining or does he dislike Skull little more than the others? All this hostility. Something to look into he supposes.

"So we are sending you to Carcassa."

Carcassa Famiglia, turns out to be a Small time Mafia Family. They deal in drug trafficking, smuggling, skin-trade and other deplorable activities. All in all, a very weak no-name family that is treated pretty much as every ones bitch.

So local Genin-Corps. And they send Skull there.

He knows his character is supposed to be a doofus civilian but C'mon!

"Have fun with the weaklings." The Hitman shoves Skull towards the trembling people who are not hiding their fear all that well from anyone.

Genin-Corps. He being forced to join Genin-Corps! No matter how temporarily, no one must ever know about this!

"Hi! My name is Skull!" Skull waves happily, purple nails glinting in sunlight. "I'm here to learn so lets get along, okay!"

Obito keeps up the cheerful appearance until the Hitman disappears from the view. The minute he can no longer sense him Skull's smile drops.

"Also heads-up! I'm taking over this operation. Starting now."

None of the Carcassa people have seemed all that happy to see him in the first Place and now their faces pale even further.

Some red headed person scowls at him. Likely 'the Boss'. "You can't just take over our Famiglia like that!"

"I can't?" Obito lets his Cloud Flames Flare. Mixes some bloodlust in the raging fire as well. They go perfectly together. "Are you sure?"

The other holds Still for three seconds before crumbling. "Please don't kill us!"

Cloud Flames. So damn useful. Skull gives them a Naruto smile as a reward.

"Don't worry, I have some use for you lot so you can live." Skull tilts his head. "For now at least."

They truly are submissive weakling that don't even try put up much of a fight after feeling his Flames and seeing his coloring. Obito is feeling like one of Orochimaru's bright scaled, extremely toxic snakes here!

It's not a bad feeling.

"So does anyone here have any experience in spying?" Skull claps his hand to get their attention. Unnecessary they were all staring at him in thinly veiled unease and fear from the beginning. Few of them raise their trembling hands, like they are in a classroom. Cute!

"Because you'll be doing that whole a lot more."

Ah, how Obito has missed having minions to boss around!

A sneak-peak for the next chapter.

There's a... thing. On his bed. A red blob really.

Obito despises it on sight.

The blob waves its tentacles at him in a cheerful manner.

Obito brandishes kunai at it. Even pokes at it with the tip of his blade threateningly. It jiggles, like jello!

"Get out."

The blob's IQ doesn't seem to be high enough to understand him. Or maybe it just wants to get stabbed some more. Obito is willing to oblige.

The tentacles reach out to him and tap at his hand and fingers gently, almost curiously. Then the blob pokes at his kunai and tries to clumsily pry it away from Obito's grasp.

It's not using much strenght, or maybe it just is that weak? The point is, it wants to steal a leathal weapon from the hands of S-class Missing-ninja and Obito-

Obito fucking lets go. Curious, not at all fearing death by blob. It won't be permanent anyway.

The blob is letting out happy squeeing noises. Shifting the Kunai from one tentacle to another and even spinning it around.

Then it suddenly throws the blade at the Wall and the damn thing sinks to handle,

The happy noises increase.

"This thing is so cute!" Skull fucking loves it.

Grinning, Skull fishes out couple of Shuriken for the blob to try. It seems to like hurling sharp objects at breakneck speed, which is very endearing

Skull claps his hands in aplause. "Well make an Nin-Octopus out of you yet!"

-I managed to shove in all I needed for this chapter. Obito is such a unreliable narrator but he is a foreigner in a strange land. It's to be expected. He also can't manage a single chapter without mentioning Kakashi at least once.

So Flame Communication is a thing now. Obito had no clue such a thing even existed. Something new to learn.