DISCLAIMER: This story is inspired by the characters from MTV's "Daria" (1997-2002). I do not own any rights to the television show, nor to any of the music created by Splendora (and other musicians/lyricists) for "Daria" referenced in this text. This is merely a work of (fan)fiction.

CHAPTER I

"I'm a teen 'oliday,
And it sucks!
I'm a teen 'oliday,
And it sucks!
I'm a teen 'oliday,
And it suuuucks!"

"Who did you say this was again?" Daria asked Trent, who was driving her back home after a night at the Lanes' house.

"Some guy who calls himself Guy Fawkes," replied Trent, his raspy voice still husky from sleep.

In her usual monotonous voice, she said, "I see. Guy Fawkes. Tell me, Trent, when you play his music backwards, does he tell you to remember the fifth of November?"

Trent laughed himself into a cough. "Good one, Daria. All I know is that Janey said his music makes her feel like Cleopatra."

"What?"

By the time they reached the Morgendorffer house, the music had almost grown on her. Taking off her seat belt, Daria said, "Thanks for the ride, Trent."

"Any time, Daria," he replied, his tone as mellow as it ever was. Before she stepped out of the Tank, Trent asked, "Hey, Daria?"

"Um, yeah?"

"What are you doing this Saturday?"

"Avoiding Quinn while she figures out how to match her shoes to the color of her date's eyes," she said. "Why?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out for pizza, or something."

"Um, sure. Tell Jane I'll be there."

"No."

"Excuse me?" Daria asked, her monotone only slightly altered.

"Janey's not coming."

"Why not? Um, did you and Jane get into a fight this morning?"

"No."

"Oh," said Daria, trailing off. "Then what?"

"It's just," began Trent, taking his eyes off her briefly to look at the road ahead of them before turning back to face her, "well, guys don't usually ask their sisters to tag along on their dates."

If it were possible to blush any harder, Daria was sure that she did. Trent noticed, and his smile softened. "D-date?" asked Daria.

"Yeah," said Trent, keeping his eyes locked on hers. "So, what do you say, Daria?"

"Um… okay," she replied, hopping out of the car door as quickly as possible. Before she closed it, Trent asked, "Pick you up at seven?"

"Seven's good," she said, her face bright and burning.

"Cool," he replied, nodding his head. He was in beat with the next song starting up on his cassette player. "See you then."

Daria watched as the car drove away and disappeared around the corner, then ran into the house. She closed the front door behind her and released a sigh of tension, slightly embarrassed that she had not gotten over her schoolgirl crush over her best friend's older brother after all these years. Daria was just glad that the only person who seemed to be aware that she was even back home from visiting Jane was her oblivious father.

"Damn, tuition bills!" yelled Jake, throwing his calculator onto the coffee table, which proceeded to blink a few times before promptly dying. "Gahhh!" Jake slumped forward, placing his head in his hands, muttering something about damn cheap products under his breath. He perked up when he saw Daria's combat boots. "Oh, hey, kiddo!"

"Hi, Dad," Daria replied, turning the TV on.

"They drank the Kool-Aid. He punched through a wall! Carbonated cults next on 'Sick, Sad World.'" Jake cringed when he saw the Kool-Aid mascot's face. "Eww. No daughter of mine is going to join a cult! Right, Daria?!"

From behind they heard a familiar high-pitched voice on the phone. "And then Tiffany said that she wouldn't join Dappa Dappa Olanda, because they wouldn't accept her community service hours after she gave makeovers to the seeing-eye dogs they were distributing with that service club. … I knooow! I know if I were going to get a seeing-eye dog, I would want it to look as fabulous as me. You know, coordinating outfits and collars. That would be so cute! So, anyway, now she's gonna pledge for Panda Ortega Bi, and that's fine, because they have the better parties anyway, and the cutest Brothers. … No, of course, Tiffany doesn't have an older brother. … No, Tiffany doesn't have a sister either. Stacy-I," Quinn sighed, "I'll explain it to you later. Anyway, so about our shopping trip next week…"

Jake and Daria shared glances after Quinn went up the stairs to her room, shutting the door behind her.

"You were saying?" asked Daria. Jake just put his head in his hands again and sighed.