-Vale-

It was a nice day out as the people got ready to watch the news, only for static to be shown on every channel and every station in Remmant. Which of course confused people and pissed others off.

However that was when a large gold symbol of a skull appeared on the screen.

"People and Fauni of Remment!" called out a voice. "Do not change that channel, it is not a bug in your pathetic systems."

"Huh? What's going on?" asked Ruby looking at her Scroll.

"I don't know!" Yang frowned.

"Then let me explain boobie bird!" Yelled the voice in the screen. "Jeez you are a bird brain!"

"Wait...did the person just answer you?" asked Blake with a raised eyebrow. "That's creepy."

"Like you and your ex." The voice said before coughing. "Anyway, today and for as long as me and my niece Cynthia will it, you shall watched the most interesting show in the omniverse!"

"I'm getting to the bottom of this." spoke Weiss before dialing in the emergency number.

"Hello." Said a girls voice. "This is RCDS, how may I help you."

"RCDS?" She said before the line was cut. She frowned and tried hitting redial, only to get static. "Whoever's doing this is going to be in serious trouble."

The voice coughed before revealing a large gameshow area made of gold with stars all over the place with a red cloaked figure and a small girl with a witches hat and translucent skin in the center. "Welcome to Ren's Crazy Date Show! The one show in the omniverse that actually allows fucking and dating all at the same time! I'm your host Omni, and this is my co host Cynthia the Slime Doll!"

"Hi daddy I'm on TV!" she waved.

"Oh and Nora?" Omni called out. "Do you see your senpai near you by chance?"

"Wait, did that guy just talk to me through the screen? I've done weird stuff but that might be the weirdest." Nora said before noticing that Ren wasn't near her, or in the room at all.

"Anyway." The cloaked figure said before pointing to a pedestal. "Let's meet our lucky bastard of the day! Lie Ren!"

An invisible crowd clapped in the background at that point.

"Wait, did he just say Ren?" asked Jaune.

"I believe so." Pyrrha said with a nod. "But why is he on a show like this?"

"Glad you asked Jaune fetishist!" Omni smirked. "We all know that in every universe that Jaune Arc gets the girls, which is fine but what about Ren?! Look at him," he pointed to Ren. "He needs love too! I mean LOOK at him! It's like a cute girl with boy like features!"

"Um…..I'm a guy." Ren pointed out.

"I thought you were a girl when I heard about you so ha!" Omni said with a laugh.

"Can I play with him?" asked Cynthia.

"No." Omni deadpanned. "He is not up to your standards, plus Nora would turn you into maple syrup if you tried anything on her 'boyfriend'."

She huffed.

"But you can make him wear dresses during the commercials." he grinned.

"That's what I meant, what did you think I was talking about?"

"Fucking with him." he deadpanned.

"That's for mommy and daddy." she deadpanned back making everyone hearing or seeing this cringe.

"Ew." Ruby muttered.

"So is your juice cookies." Omni said in a sing song voice. "Oh and also, for the next few months or so, Lie Ren will be dating girls or…" he whispered. "Traps." he then looked at the camera. "And while yes there is a universe where Jaune Arc got with it, this will be different."

"This makes no sense." spoke Jaune shaking his head. "Is this some kind of prank?"

"No." Spoke Nora. "Because RENNY isn't HERE!"

"We've gotta save him." spoke up Pyrrha.

"He's fine." Omni spoke out. "And please don't piss off the god of space and time along with a goddess in training." he pointed to Cynthia. "It won't end well for any of you, you too Adam Taurus or should I call you Cock Face McNipple?"

"Give me Renny back!" yelled Nora shaking the screen.

But that was when Omni ignored her and smiled. "Ok, now for the rules of the show."

A large chart appeared on the big screen in the studio.

"Number one, no killing of Ren, the girls, or any Nora based clones." He deadpanned. "I don't want this place turning into an omniversal snuff show!"

"Even I don't like that." Cynthia stuck her tongue out.

"You and me both." He shivered. "Rule two, no sex outside the dates between Ren and the girls. I really don't want jizz on the floor."

"Wait….WHAT!?" Ren yelled.

"Rule three, multiple copies of one girl can be used but only four at a time for a single date. If we didn't make that rule all of Blake's clones would make the list."

"Copies? He's implying there can exist more than one person of the same nature. It's official, these people are some escaped psychos." remarked Weiss.

"MEANY!" yelled Cynthia from the screen. "MEANY BIG ASS!"

"There there." Omni said with a smile. "She didn't mean to say that, she's just scared that we might be crazy. She didn't mean to call you a psycho."

"Still...she's a meany."

Ren looked really lost at this before the world became gray as he and the robed figure were the only ones moving.

"Ok reviewers, this is rule three and a half, the girls that are going to be in this show NEED to be ones that are from series I know off so if you are DMZ fans, then I have no clue what to do with it. And before you get ready for the shipping, post a GOOD reason why they should be together, meaning not just because they are sexy or because it is for laughs, I need a valid reason so he, a trauma victim, doesn't get confused and very unwilling to date any of them!" Omni frowned. "So PLEASE don't just add pairings like in CTWL, it's annoying and won't help progress the story."

"Who are you talking to?" asked Ren.

He turned while the world regained its colors. "Oh nothing, just reviewers."

He looked lost at that while Cynthia looked at him with a very cute smile.

"Hi." She waved.

"Um, hi."

"Do you like dresses?" She asked while Nora's ears perked up.

"Um...why do you ask?"

"Because you'd look good in a dress." She smirked. "So maids outfit or bunny girl?"

Pyrrha blinked before seeing Nora having a nosebleed. "Nora? Are you ok?"

"Huh? Yeah! Just peachy."

"But your nose is bleeding." Jaune said pointing to her nose. "Like a lot actually."

"No it's not." She said while her nosebleed started to make a pool of blood near her feet.

Both sweatdropped at that.

"Ok." Omni called out. "Rule four is this, deities from Earth Prime, aka Dimension Prime, can be used if they are female, is gender bended, a shapeshifter, or a trap in their respective myths and legends. Oh and no fictional ones like oh say Cthulhu. No need for those things popping up and making Ren mad as a Ursa in a glass shop."

"Ok you've clearly gone off the deep end, because that's impossible." spoke Ren.

Omni deadpanned before summoning a golden dragon with three heads and no arms. "No I'm sound of mind, especially since I just summoned this guy from another dimension."

"KREI!" All three heads roared out.

"Holy Dust!" spoke Ruby with wide eyes.

"What the hell is that!?" Weiss yelled out.

"King Ghidorah." Omni said while causing it to vanish in a red portal. "So believe me now about the omniverse Lie Ren?"

"Y-Yes." he squeaked.

"Good now for rule five." He said while pointing to the screen. "Harems are allowed at the consent of Nora, your Nora not any copy of her. So Nora! Do you want your Renny to have a harem?"

"NO!" she growled. "Tell me where he is!"

"Nope~" Omni said. "Sorry, but we still need him for a spell."

"GRRR!"

"Ok um Cynthia." He said while giving her a cue card. "Please read this next rule."

She nodded. "Rule six, if one says the phrase, 'Boot to the Head'-"

KICK!

"OW!" yelled Omni in pain as a boot came out of nowhere.

"You will get a 'Boot to the Head'."

KICK!

"FUCK!" Omni yelled out as another boot hit him in the face. "WHY ME!?"

Yang snickered at that. "Ok, that's pretty funny."

"How?" Weiss frowned. "The use of 'Boot to the Head' is ridiculous!"

KICK!

"OW!" she cried out as a boot hit her on the forehead.

"Ok, that's freaky, we gotta get the police." spoke Blake.

"But what if this guy took over the police?" Asked Ruby. "I mean he did summon a giant monster!"

"Then we'll get the teachers." frowned Weiss rubbing her forehead.

"After we find clues." Yang suggested. "If he's broadcasting this from somewhere in Vale, we can use that to our advantage and save Ren."

"I just hope he'll be alright." spoke Pyrrha.

Omni looked at Ren before saying. "Rule seven, all girls that finish their dates are to go…" he pointed to a door with a amusement park inside. "Our waiting room until the end of the show, where we pick the winning pair and give you a wish."

"And the show is brief, right?"

Both him and Cynthia looked at each other before shrugging. "No clue."

"Wait, you don't even know?"

"It depends on viewers and their love for you getting hitched." Omni shrugged. "Hell I don't know and I'm the god of time and space."

"Luckily we have all the time in the world." giggled Cynthia.

Ren shivered at that.

"Oh and the final rule is this." Omni pulled out a box of condoms. "Ren is not allowed to use these," he then threw it into a portal. "For his dates! Ha ha ha ha!"

"What?!" cried out him and his friends.

"What? This is a show that will do both dates and full on fucking. Really, what did you think this was? A normal dating show?"

"So get ready for blowjobs." Cynthia giggled with a thumbs up. "And tentacles!"

"He can't be serious, what if kids are watching this?" spoke Blake shaking her head.

"And for you mother hens out there." Omni smirked. "Don't worry, they WILL be watching it! Can't have them experience things without watching them ya know. Especially you Raven and Kali."

Yang and Blake looked confused at this before seeing Omni pointing to the screen.

"Now for the ladies! After these commercials of Ren in a speedo!" He said as a montage of Ren in a speedo appeared on screen.

Nora popped another nosebleed making Jaune step back.

"Ok seriously Nora, get some tissues!"

"I can't!" she snapped. "This is SO HOT!"

"Then get a towel!"

"I need to see the speedo!" she yelled while more blood flowed to her feet. "Hey, is it just me or is the room spinning?"

Pyrrha groaned while a 'To be continued' sign appeared on screen. 'Nora.'