There are moments in your life that are like standing at the edge of a cliff. You can choose to turn away from the cliff, shut out the sight of it and pretend it isn't there. You can choose to merely stand at the cliff and never choose to do anything about it at all; let the sight of whatever is beyond, hold you in its grip and keep you from turning away.

But, if you're brave enough, you can also choose to jump.

Ben Solo grips his grandfather's lightsaber so hard it might have cracked slightly. The battle blood in his veins is settling, slowing, aching, like the very same blood that oozes from the wound at his neck. He couldn't feel the pain just yet, but soon it would be a crippling heat that he had felt before and therefore could push through again.

He stands at a cliff once more: the thought of ruling the First Order behind him, the sight of his fallen Master before him, the quiet sound of the woman beyond him. He could turn away from the cliff. He could choose to ignore it. Or…he could jump.

"Ben…" a question, a calling, sweetness and hesitance, all within the soft tremble of her strong voice.

He turns to her, beautiful as the battle blood in her ebbs and flows with her heavy breathing. She's burned on the arm…she must not feel it just yet, like him. But she will, and when she does…

"Ben," the call is stronger. Will he jump?

But he knows the choice is not his to make. He is not the only one on this cliff.

Rey runs to him, pushes and pulls the cloth near his neck away from the bleeding burn there. "Are you alright?" she's speaking quickly now, hands warm and soft against the angry flesh. "Ben, what do I do?" does she not know she has a matching wound on her arm?

His hand twitches before it touches her. Black gloves cover his large hands.

The last time they touched, the last time he had wanted to touch her, to feel her, to know her. He can't do that with gloves.

"Help me." He isn't sure if he says it out loud until she pulls back from his neck to look at his face. But he can't take his gloves off with her in his arms. And he asks again, "Help me."

She doesn't understand until he physically places his hand in hers. She stares at it for only a second before she rips the leather away and discards it without hesitating. She doesn't even look back – what's it like to not look back?

Free, finally free, Ben touches her cheek, wipes away the sweat at her neck, before he pulls her into a tight embrace. Surely he will shatter if he does not hold on to her.

He is not the only one on this cliff. What will he do?

"We need to go," Rey calls softly against his neck, her hot breath burns the wound there but he doesn't care. "We can still help the Resistance."

He doesn't care about the Resistance.

But Rey does. She cares so much. And Ben cares about Rey.

He pulls back and slips her lightsaber into her hand. He summons his own from the farther reaches of the chaos they made together.

"I will follow you." He jumped off the cliff.

Once they make it to the Falcon, Ben almost wishes he had turned away from the cliff. Chewbacca is upset with Rey, snarling at her as he pins Ben to the wall. He's been on the receiving end of Snoke's choke-hold before. This is equal parts worse and yet not even remotely as painful. He still can't breathe either way.

"Let him go! He's with us, now."

No. He's with Rey now. He chose. He jumped. And now he will follow Rey to the darkest depth of whatever lies before him. If that is meeting retribution at Han Solo's dearest friend's hand then so be it.

Another snarl. Another yell. "Sunshine, how can you forget what he has done?!"

"He is here. He wants to help." Not particularly, he doesn't. He is here because she cares so much and he must meet his destiny at her side. "Chewie," she puts a both hands on the Wookiee's arm, as if she possessed any strength to stop him. "I said I would bring him back. Doesn't he deserve a chance?"

Wookiees don't believe in forgiveness. Second chances don't bring loved ones back from death. But Ben gasps as Chewbacca pulls away from him. The air is stale and different than on the Finalizer, but Ben is grateful for it regardless.

"He will be good to you." It is a threat as much as it is truth. Without another look at him, Chewbacca takes the helm while Rey holds Ben close.

Because of his training he is already recovered by the time she touches his face. And yet it is a great relief to feel her touch him. Her thin fingers glide along his cheek, tracing the scar there probably subconsciously on her part. It's a comfort that surprises him.

His fingers tangle with hers as he brings the back of her hand to his lips.

"He'll come around," she smiles.

It is acceptable if he never does, but Ben won't say that to her. Her hope is a dying breed and Ben will no longer aid in its suffering. If she believes the Wookiee will one day look Ben in the eye again, well, only such a thing could be possible because Rey believed it would be so.

At the co-pilot's chair, Ben relaxes into the ingrained skill he's perfected of flying. The Falcon is a monstrous beast compared to his ship and secretly Ben mourns his vessel. It had been his, by his own right, not someone else's passed down.

In spite of her weight, she is graceful still in her age; Ben can appreciate that at least. And Rey seems to be enjoying herself as she fires upon the Tie-fighters in their wake.

"You enjoy Sunshine."

Ben's small smile flickers and dies at Chewbacca's observation. He was not aware his uncle had deemed him worthy of sight yet. Although not a romantic race by nature, apparently Chewbacca was mindful of Ben enough to know the real reason he defected.

"She is remarkable, yes." What else is he to say? Truth, he will only speak truth when he speaks about Rey. She deserves so much more.

"You better not hurt her." There were exactly six versions of the word "hurt" in Chewbacca's tongue. This meant the kind of hurt that was hidden – worse than sorrow or morning. Heartbroken was probably an appropriate synonym. This was Chewbacca giving Ben the equivalent to a father warning a first boyfriend from doing something foolish.

"She deserves better," he has no disillusions about himself, "but she chose me." He was her cliff. Just as she was his.

With a nod the Wookiee unmuted their comms to Rey once more.

"There's too many!" she called out after a moment.

Ben held one hand out and closed his eyes, "Keep her steady." And he felt the salt-crystals all around them. Each one pulsed with its own energy, an old and ageless energy that resisted his probing at first, but Ben was no novice to moving rocks. With a surge the salt-crystals behind the Falcon grew and stabbed the enemy, blocking them from the sliver of cavern they were flying in. There were few pilots in the known galaxy that could have outperformed Ben's use of the Force. And not a single such pilot was following them.

Rey's cheers echo through the comms as Ben relaxes and grips the controls with both hands once more. There was a slight growl of awe from Chewbacca but he did not say anything exactly.

"We have to go back and help them!" Rey calls.

The small smile comes back, "Is she always this bossy?"

"Yes." There's fondness in his uncle's tone.

They were having trouble finding the rebels. Rey gripped his shoulder, her short nails barely making a dent in the reinforced fibers of his tunic. "Use the Force, Ben."

"I am, Rey," he was patient, would always try to be patient with her for as long as she would have him. But this was not her first time requesting his assistance and although he was using the Force she still asked this of him.

"There," he called pointing towards a tiny clearing where a vulptex seemed to be watching them as the Falcon curved to follow his direction.

They landed and Rey asked Chewbacca to stick with the controls as she snatched Ben's hand. He dug in his feet and cupped her face as she whirls around. "I will stay here as well."

"I need help!" she gestured to the small mountain of boulders where another vulptex had wriggled its way out of. "You can easily-"

"You can lift a few rocks," he smiled down at her. "But if I am the first thing they see they won't come. Best we keep my presence quiet for now."

She frowned. "I will send Leia to you. She deserves to know."

Honestly, he had hoped she wouldn't do that. And yet, he hoped to deal with the worse of his sins as quickly as possible. Denying the inevitable would do him no favors. If facing his mother's wrath was what following Rey led to, he must face it and not be a coward.

"She deserves more than just that."

With a smile that warmed him all the way to his toes, she proceeded down to meet her own destiny.

I'm right here. He projected through the Force, finding the thread that connected him to Rey. It surprised him to feel it, considering Snoke had boasted he had created the bond between the two of them. Snoke was dead, yet the thread of connection was intact. Did Rey feel it?

Thank you.

Oh. She did.

Ben closed his eyes with Rey and leveled his breathing, projecting the sensation across the thread and knowing she timed her breaths with his. With a gentle nudge he guided her through the process of feeling the Force and manipulating it around the rocks to pull them up and away, defying gravity as if it were a small thing.

Her joy was indescribable as she opened her eyes to witness her feat. That small smile spread minimally as he allowed his pride of her accomplishment flow to her. The noise as a great many people climbed on board had Ben pulling away from the Bond and giving more attention than was strictly required to help Chewbacca pull out of orbit.

"You are not the man from the star killer." His uncle didn't use the actual name for the great weapon base. He used the literal words for "star" and "murder" perhaps to dig into Ben his greatest sin just before he had to face his mother's wrath.

Since he deserved nothing less, Ben said nothing.

Then…It's there…and then…he isn't.

Luke Skywalker.

He's gone. It's nothing like Ben envisioned all these years. Over a decade he believed he would be the one to kill the legend. It was one of the main reasons Snoke reached out to him…maybe it was the reason Snoke set his talons into Ben at so young an age.

And now his uncle is…gone. There was a flash of…peace before the blanket of empty space where the man's Force signature once was. Ben hadn't even realized it was there, until it was simply not. It…left Ben hollow. There was a place in the galaxy that once was filled and now is a void…and it isn't right. Except for the brief second of peace, perhaps that was his uncle final moment: acceptance. It doesn't feel right, but choosing to die for the rebels was Luke's cliff.

There is a sigh that vibrates the thread of his Force Bond with Rey and he knows she feels Luke's passing as well. She cares so much, hopes so strongly, and attaches herself to people she knows for so brief a time. With care he tests the thread, strokes along it and knows Rey is not distressed. She accepts Luke's passing as well, experiencing the absence of the man in a different way than Ben.

He was not her uncle. He was not one of her sole reasons for living.

But there is reassurance that flows into him, a warmth at the back of his skull that dulls the fire of his wound momentarily.

An hour rolls by as hyperspace streaked across the viewport. Ben bit his tongue to curb his nerves, causing blood to flood his mouth before clotting. His neck wound was burning fiercely now and he hoped Rey managed to receive care for hers.

Chewbacca does not comment that his mother has not come to see him, to which he has mixed feelings about. Ben preferred the Wookiee's way of handling his anger, lashing out at Ben, striking him and forcing his pain onto Ben's shoulders. That made sense. This waiting game…this was a form of torture Ben was not entirely unaccustomed to but not favorable towards.

Snoke would make him wait sometimes if he disappointed his master.

And he disappointed his mother more than any other living soul.

Another half hour before finally she is there. She fills the small space with her small frame in the way he has only ever seen her accomplish. Formidable, he always thought of his mother, when he was young – a strange word for a child to use but Ben had been a strange child.

The moment stretches; he feels his wound sear him, boil his blood, and his palms begin to sweat. Irrationally he wishes to conjure his mask and gloves. Can she see his shame? Is there blood on his hands? He can't move.

"Mother," the title is ripped from his throat, "I'm sorry."

The hum of the ship and the muted din of the many people talking beyond the door does nothing to quiet the roaring silence that trails his apology. He knew it wouldn't be enough. He doesn't know why he tried with such trivial beginnings.

There had been speeches and eloquence he rehearsed again and again as he waited to see her after so long. But the second she walked through the door, he forgot his plan and instead grovels.

She deserves more.

He falls to his knees and curses his weakness as tears fill his eyes. This is his punishment: a cruel kindness to leave him begging at her feet. The shock of her arms around his neck comes so suddenly he freezes, ceases breathing as a quiet sob shakes his mother's small frame.

"Oh, my son!" she gasps through tears and a closed throat. "My son!"

For a long time they only hold one another. Pain, unlike anything he has ever experienced in his life, flares too bright to tolerate and the brimming tears from before spill silently down his cheeks. Her embrace tightens and for the first time in a very long time Ben breaths. Tension eases and a weariness settles where it leaves.

This is home. This is forgiveness. This is Light.

They speak. They sit across one another while Chewbacca stands in a corner and tries to be unobtrusive. He tells his mother of murdering his master, fighting with Rey, of plunging head-first after her. He expresses his defection and lays out his terms with no uncertainty: He is here for Rey.

She is not disappointed as he expected. With an accepting countenance, she nods as if this were some battle tactic she had approved of.

Together, like the war-bred, battle tacticians they are, they discuss how to keep Ben alive now. There will be a strong desire for blood now that so many have been lost. But Ben has everything. Not just some codesor a few locations on a map; he has everything the resistance needs.

"It won't be easy," Leia confesses, "Ben, they may try to kill you for war crimes."

He allows her to call him whatever she wishes. Rey calls him Ben, too, but she does so without expecting him to suddenly become someone else. His mother calls to him as if calling to the past. And it doesn't settle well with him.

A different punishment than he expected. It isn't wrath he must face. He is the son his mother has now, not the son she wishes for, and every time she looks or speaks to him he will be reminded of the little boy he took from her. It isn't expected, but it is fitting. He deserves this.

"I am indisputably invaluable to the resistance now." There was no pride to his tone, only resigned truth, "Like a weapon or an X-Wing." A ripple shivered through the Bond; Rey had heard his words. She wasn't listening in, offering privacy to the reunion of mother and son, but she had caught maybe his acceptance of his fate.

Leia did not look entirely pleased with his comparison as well, although he noticed she did not refute him.

"I will do what I can." And the way she said it, the slight pinch in her brows, the posture of her shoulders, all of his mother spoke of an equal measure of resignation. She was going to do something she wouldn't like, probably something foolish in exchange for Ben's life.

He wouldn't allow his mother to suffer any more than he has already caused her.

No more can be said between them for now, and Leia knows if she lingers here people might come looking for her, seeking her guidance. Rey said she would stall; explain Luke's passing as reasoning for Leia and Chewbacca to grieve alone. Yet there is still war and Leia must lead.

Ben changes his posture to welcome her close proximity. Fortunately, she reads body language as well as he and she gives him one lasting embrace before departing.

"Princess is too kind."

"Yes," he answers Chewbacca, "she is."

"You will not hurt her a second time." The words are guttural, forced out almost unwillingly. The word "hurt" is similar to a backstabbing of sorts, literal in Wookiee, but the metaphorical terms apply as well. This is not the second time he has hurt his mother either, but Wookiees don't believe in second chances so for Chewbacca to concede to numbering his betrayals to two seems less daunting than the endless sins Ben must account for.

After all this time his Wookiee has not diminished. He hasn't heard or spoken the language of Han Solo's best friend for about twenty years, and yet there seemed to be no relapse on his end. Perhaps that says much more to his uncle than anything Ben could think to say to him.

Rey slips in hesitantly, afraid she is interrupting something, "Chewy, you can go out and see everyone. I'll fly for a while."

He accepts after a heavy pause. Ben feels the weight of his glare but does not flinch, his eyes only on Rey.

Where his mother dominated the room with her willpower alone, Rey takes his awareness captive. He has no choice but to notice everything about her; it's been that way since he first saw her in the forest.

Alone at last Rey moves close and takes hold of his hands, "Let me look at that burn on your neck."

He accommodates her every move without thought, realizing what he's doing only once she is standing between his knees, cutting away at the loose fabric at his neck he hadn't bother straitening when Rey moved it aside in the throne room. Her hands are warm, gentle, soft, a comfort as she works the bacta patch over the mark. He rubs his patch with one hand, eyeing a matching one on her arm, noting his bisects the scar she gave him, and takes her wrist with his other.

"Thank you," it is easy to thank her even though the words have not passed his lips in years. Another language he thought lost to time only to resurface as if time had no meaning on it.

Once everyone is safely removed from the Falcon, Leia and Rey accompany Ben to a room with a singular, half-circular table that faces a digital display. The monitor is powered down for now.

Ben holds out his hands to his mother.

"What?" she almost looks insulted.

"Come now, Mother," the title is less stressed. "Let's not presume otherwise: I am a captive until determine I'm no threat to the resistance." Ben's played this game before. He couldn't always be Kylo Ren and could no longer be Ben when he first joined Snoke.

He was forced to become many…things. He can play the part of the captive when it suits him, or his mother.

"We don't actually have any force shackles."

"He's not a captive." Rey interrupts. "He came with me. He chose to help the resistance. He's like Finn."

His mother's pointed look is ignored. He will not bruise Rey's fragile hope. He however does not want to be compared to the traitor Stormtrooper. Swallowing his first scathing response he says, "I have done many terrible things your friend has not, Rey." Saying her name out loud soothes him.

She's frowning as Leia straps a set of reinforced shackles to her son. He looks for all intents and purposes the captive he wishes to portray. Willing and unaffected by the restraints, while also appealing to the awaiting audiences' expectations of uncomfortable and bound.

With a small smile he leans forward in a modified embrace with Rey to reassure her. "It is until we can make sure I am not murdered for my past." It is what he deserves, but not before he can do all that he can to nurture Rey's hope of the future.

"Alright," Leia steps back and with her firm voice Ben and Rey do the same as well. "I will call what's left of my Council."

As she leaves Rey steps close once more. "I won't let anyone kill you, Ben." His frozen insides melt at her using his given name. The will behind her words fills him with confidence. She doesn't even realize how powerful she is, how much power she holds over him.

Regardless, Ben knows he doesn't deserve her kindness. She would and should choose her friends, Leia, the resistance over him. He isn't entirely sure she would have chosen to stay if Ben had requested it of her back in the throne room.

The entire galaxy or the small fraction she managed to carve out of it for herself?

Ben knows what he deserves.

There is uproar and chaos, everything he always thought of the rebel's alliance standing before him now, pointing accusations – some truth, some lies.

The best pilot reminds the Council of seven others of his orders to murder an entire village, his numerous crimes of diving through the heads of captured rebels. Others who know nothing blame him for the creation of Starkiller, the Hosnian System, the death of Luke Skywalker, the Jedi temple, and a hundred other things.

He stands before them silently.

This anger, this chaos, this mob: this is what he deserves. They will burn him a scapegoat. He will die publicly for crimes against the entire First Order.

Almost an hour of this useless prattle and he has said nothing. Rey tried to come to his defense every chance she got, but she was talked over and ignored. She was a child to these warlords, ignorant and stupid some were thinking. Ben wanted to hurt the generals who thought such things, but Force-choking someone would break the illusion he created and not help the situation at all.

It wasn't until she looked at him with genuine fear in her eyes and in her mind, a strumming of the thread connecting them that vibrated down his spine and settled sickly in his gut.

He would do anything for Rey.

"Warlords, please," his deep voice cut through the screaming and chilled the heat of the mob. "While uninformed, on several accounts you are not entirely wrong. My sins are great. I have done many terrible things.

"Some because I was told to. Some because it was expected of me in the position I was in. Each and every one was a choice, just as coming to you now is my choice. Rey," he gestures to her because she deserves to be recognized, "has brought me here to atone for my sins. She believes there is still light in me, and I hope her belief is enough."

Ben knew all there was to know about his enemy. Words like hope and belief and light were what their foundation was built on. Rebels with hope; what were they without their hope and lightside?

Fanatics, Ben thought.

He sees his words, the right words though they are for his enemy are nothing less than the truth, take root in only two of the warlords. They physically pull back from the table, withdrawing from the cacophony that erupts afterwards.

"So murder was just in the job description?" Dameron snarls. It is as if he is dealing with a den of irritated dragons. Do they not listen?

"Poe!" Rey tries once more but she is submerged in the noise.

His mother does nothing, as she has done throughout the meeting. He knows she is waiting to make her move, her checkmate. But he won't allow his mother to become a martyr for him.

"I am here to bargain my life." Again his voice silences the roaring men and women of the council. "I have codes and plans, schedules and routes, allies and enemies, I know the names of every single officer on the Finalizer, and every general assigned to every dreadnaught in the fleet." He paused for dramatic effect, a Skywalker through-and-through. "I also know everything there is to know about the man who now leads the First Order: General Armitage Hux."

The silence is deafening. Leaning slightly back, Ben allows one moment of smug pride to fill him. Let it not be said that when he set his mind to something, Ben takes what he wants. It would be foolishness and a death sentence to kill him now. It would be a waste of a valuable resource. Glancing at his mother he sees her face white as the sand on Crait. She had planned to negotiate her spot as General of the Resistance to save her son's life.

Instead he shackled himself to her rebels willingly.

Well…willingly enough.

"I do, however, have a few conditions that must be met." There is a moment of outrage before Ben speaks over them again. "I will be given actual accommodations, if available. General Organa will meet with me privately twice a week, steadily increasing after a trial period of course. I understand you must need time to trust me. Lastly," his eyes flick to Rey, "You will leave me in the care of the last Jedi."

"Absolutely not!" Dameron knocks his chair back.

"Commander!" Leia snaps, and chastises him immediately. He has the gall to look embarrassed but remains standing, breathing hard. "These are not unreasonable requests."

"He means to be alone with you! He will attack Rey the second her back is turned."

Ben knows his enemy. He knows he's won as soon as Poe Dameron insulted the strongest women he's ever known. Without smiling too obviously, Ben takes his delight in watching his mother and Rey set him straight.

"I am not stupid." Rey begins and he relishes her defense. "I am not a child, nor am I weak and frail, Poe. I can handle myself, as I have proven again and again. I offered Ben another way and he took it. He is here to fight for the Resistance! He is here to do the right thing! And he is a powerful Force-user." Her eyes flash dangerously before she turns to Leia, "I accept this request."

No one speaks; perhaps they've never had the pleasure of witnessing Rey at her most passionate peak. Ben sends his pride streaming through the Bond and sees Rey visibly straighten to her full height.

Leia stands with a curt nod to the woman. "Ben is not a prisoner of war." There is a mild grumble about that. "He defected and joined us. Did we put Finn on trial for the sins of all Stormtroopers when he came to us?" He wishes she hadn't compared the two of them but seeing as she is winning her warlords over, Ben keeps his mouth shut.

"These requests are simple. I allow them. Those in favor?"

There is the consensus of more for than against and Ben remembers the names and faces of those that voted with his mother. Poe Dameron had not been one of those five.

Then the real work begins. Ben gives up the First Order. It is hours and hours of cross examination. Base locations, codes, and his personal favorite: numbers.

Oh! Ben had been a strange child indeed. Favorite subjects of study were arithmetic, science, and history. Oh! Had he loved history. He learned to enjoy other subjects such as literature, calligraphy, and politics. But arithmetic, science and history started it all.

He was a genius with numbers, no matter the format. Equations or dates – it didn't matter. If he could quantify it, Ben loved it and remembered it. It was a special gift, before the Force, bestowed upon his mind to recall numeric facts with ease.

Now, Ben applied his gift as a turncoat pet of the Resistance.

He divulged manning, hours of operation, equipment logistics, anything and everything he could remember of each base location he gave up willingly and without a shred of remorse.

All that Ben took issue with was when his opinions were shot down swiftly and viciously. When a name managed to make it through his facts, he could recall the personality and mindset of such officers. And when Ben provided the best means to deal with specific officers based on the knowledge he possessed firsthand, it was ignored.

"Keep your opinions to yourself, Knight of Ren," one of the warlords who voted against him spat. "We'll ask for it if we want it."

If there was one thing Ben couldn't stand it was ignorance.

"I'm telling you the best course of action to take." He countered.

"We do not answer to you," one of the warlords who had voted for him bit back.

"These are facts and you are blatantly discounting them."

"Enough! Knight!" the title was sneered pass Dameron's – Commander Dameron's – lips.

"When your raid fails because you chose to ignore my intel, do not blame me." He knows he shouldn't have threatened them, but ignorance was simply a fancy word for stupidity. Ben was not stupid.

"Ben," Rey called him and it immediately soaked his pride away. He was here for her. Fighting stupid people was not going to help Rey.

Unfortunately at the same time the last warlord who had voted against him, a one General Teek, screamed, "Take him away until we have use for him again."

Ben followed Dameron who seemed only too pleased with the prospect of escorting him to his new living arrangements.

"You understand that your stipulation was you could have your own accommodations so long as they were available?"

Oh. So that's how he was going to play it. "I remember what I said."

"Well, because you've arrived with the rest of us and it's a struggle getting even the General rooms, you'll understand that, for now at the very least, you will be put in the brig until such accommodations may turn up."

"Poe!" Rey snapped in fury, his beautiful, vengeful angel.

"It wasn't my decision entirely," but he had some small part in it, "but you know this will be the best place for him for now. He is Kylo Ren, Rey. There's probably a price on his head the moment people knew he was here."

"I vouch for him! Does that mean nothing?"

The silence hurts. His poor girl, she believed her friends, the friends she would give him up for if he were to make her choose, would have sided with her because of that bond. He wished to reach out to her, touch her, comfort her in any way. Instead he sends his gratefulness to her through their Bond. She offers him a small smile before she glares at Poe again.

"Ben is my responsibility. If anything happens it's on me."

"What? Rey!"

"No, Poe. I promised Ben the chance to redeem himself. He chose to fight for the Resistance. This," she gestures wildly and Ben isn't sure if he or the pilot know what the gesture indicates, "is all my fault."

Fault is a pretty harsh word; Ben knows she means more like if something were to happen to him she would blame herself for it. Dameron, if he as good a friend as she believes him to be, may one day get it through his thick skull, too.