Chapter Twenty-Five

The Book, The Sea, and the Lightning

Elsa? Why are you so scared?

Elsa looked at Anna, sitting there in the tub, and thought of Cati. The young Irish maid had been naïve, in a sense, and innocent as well, despite the Great War. Elsa hadn't given her this truth until they were back at the monastery, and she could show her the artefacts she had brought from her displacement through time.

Cati had instantly accepted every bit of it. She had been voracious in asking questions about the future, about Elsa's life and the state of society. Knowing that Cati would eventually die of consumption, taking this knowledge to the grave with her, Elsa had been quite frank. It had been a successful second revelation, for Elsa had shared her story with her Master before the war. Elsa's Master had also accepted her truth with equanimity. However, he had asked very few questions, for he believed in the perfection of imperfect things, and had an inherent sense of trust in how things would work out.

Anna Arendelle, Dowager Baroness of Skaldenfoss, was clever, sharp, extremely well-educated, and no one's fool. Refined and elegant, yet still given to bursts of impiety and impishness, Anna was the most complex human Elsa had ever encountered in her life. Elsa would tell her story of the book, the sea, and the lightning, but how much else could she share? How would Anna's knowledge of the future change the future? Could she, dare she, answer every question Anna had? What consequences could arise? The future was built on the foundation of the past – with this revelation, just how much would those foundations tremble?

"Elsa?" Anna called, bringing her out of her reverie.

Elsa saw her, sitting there in the tub, and remembered the feel of her against Elsa's skin, felt her within Elsa's own body; in looking at Anna, Elsa realized her fear. So much more than childhood darknesses, than real-life tragedies…

Elsa saw the lady from the postcard and knew the truth.

To love this woman so deeply, so feel so intimately connected to her through shared experience and shared lovemaking, the thought of losing this connection was more than Elsa could bear. Anna was her air, her bread, her water. She trusted Anna, she trusted their love, but, this very moment, she didn't trust it enough. And she hated herself for it.

"My fear now is the same as it's been since the moment I met you," Elsa whispered. "I'm scared of losing you. Anna, if my truth is too much for you to bear…"

"Elsa. I am so strong and powerful I could bear the weight of the entire universe and everything in it. Including this truth you hold. It is heavy for you. It weighs you down. Share it with me and we'll shoulder the burden of it together."

Elsa flashed Anna a quick smile for her vehement words, though that did nothing to combat the deep misgiving that yet resided in her heart. "Yes, it is a burden, and I will share it with you. Only…"

"Only nothing. Everything will be all right," Anna said. "Now, shall we go have tea? I'll wait for you to get dressed again." She waved an imperious hand at Elsa as an invitation for her to dress herself.

Elsa dropped the towel, very aware of Anna's keen and hot eyes on her as she drew on the clothes she had cast aside before their shared bath. In other circumstances, Elsa would have tried to be playful, to tease and titillate, but her heart was too full, too heavy. She reached behind her back to fasten her dress and felt a deep and painful twinge from her beleaguered lower back. Schooling her features, hiding the pain as was her wont, Elsa finished dressing and then looked back at Anna.

Anna nodded and began to stand from the tub, and Elsa quickly hurried over to help stabilize her before she could slip and fall. She was about to pick Anna up and carry her when she thought of that deep twinge in her back.

"Can you walk, my dear?" Elsa asked. "I'll hold your arm. It's just… my back is a little sore."

"I'll gladly walk on your arm," Anna replied before she reached over to quickly kiss Elsa on the lips. "And thank you for telling me the truth."

"You, above all others, deserve no less." Elsa wrapped a towel around Anna's body and then they walked into Anna's bedchamber. The wonder of Anna being able to walk hadn't subsided; Elsa could still scarcely believe how much change Anna had wrought in her life. Their early work at the resort had finally snowballed, allowing Anna to first stand, then walk, and then waltz.

Quiet and subdued, Elsa helped Anna completely dry off before assisting her with donning a simple dress for their evening at home. Anna's gaze remained strong and fierce as Elsa dressed her. Elsa combed and then plaited Anna's hair into a simple braid. Then Elsa walked with her into the lounge and helped her get seated on the couch. The fire was low; Elsa added some wood and poked it for a bit, getting it nice and hot. Then she brought over the tea service and poured them both a cuppa.

Anna had the eyes of an eagle as they sat down to enjoy their quite tepid tea; Elsa gave her the mug and handed her the letter from Ingrid, barely able to withstand the fierceness of Anna's gaze. Those sharp eyes didn't seem to miss anything; Elsa ripped open her letter even as Anna asked, "May I ask who wrote you?"

"It's from my new Master, the man who took over at the monastery when my old Master went to London," Elsa replied, ripping open the envelope to draw forth the flimsy paper. God, there had been times in her life when she had absolutely hated email, but now she would give her good right arm for one minute of access to the Internet again. "And yours? You haven't heard from your daughter in a while…"

"Several weeks, in fact. I was beginning to think she had forgotten about me," Anna replied as she opened her own letter.

They read their post in respective silence, as the flames in the hearth before them crackled and hissed. Elsa sat next to Anna, her free hand upon the blanket over Anna's thigh, now as always taking comfort from Anna's proximity.

She needed that comfort, as the letter was somewhat unsettling. Short it was, and the monk had penned it in direct strokes that she remembered from their time together in the monastery those years before the war. While it was nice to hear from him again, especially after he had sent her the ginger she had needed a few weeks ago, the contents of the letter were disturbing. After reading it twice, Elsa stared into the crackling orange flames of the fire, her mind roaring with suppositions and worry.

"Bad news, Elsa?" Anna asked, and Elsa looked over. "It's just… you're making a face." A measure of old fear stole across Anna's features as she continued, "He… he's not… he can't order you back, can he? Please don't leave me, Elsa. Don't go back to India."

Elsa squeezed Anna's thigh. "Hush, my heart. I'm not going anywhere. He merely asks if I can take an apprentice."

"An apprentice?"

"Yes. There is a very talented young monk who has shown incredible aptitude for the healing arts and has asked for further education in this regard. Last year, my Master sent him to London, where he served with my old Master at the hospital there. I even met him briefly when I was there in October. My Master asks that I take him as my apprentice, to teach him as much as I can. I do have some rather unique talents and uncommon knowledge and skills."

"You mean to let a complete stranger into our life, Elsa? Into our bubble? And a young man, no less?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On what we decide together. I wouldn't make a decision of this magnitude without you."

Anna sighed and suddenly burrowed close to Elsa. "I should say yes, and immediately. Your talents are incredible. Your skills uncanny. The whole world should learn at your feet. But."

"What is it, my heart?" Elsa asked as she took and held Anna's hand.

"I've said it before, Elsa. I'm selfish. Now that I have you, I don't want to share you."

"Can we sleep on it, darling? We don't have to decide anything right now."

"All right."

"What about Ingrid?"

"Bad news, I'm afraid," Anna replied. "Her husband, Tomas, has contracted some sort of illness of the blood and has been prohibited from travelling. They had intended to come to Iskall Slott for Christmas, but are now unable. She asks that I come to Oslo to visit her as soon as Christmas is done."

"And will you? I mean, we?"

Anna lifted her head and flashed Elsa a quick smile. "I don't know. I remember coming here, Elsa. I could barely withstand the journey. It might be more than enough just to get back to Iskall Slott. I might not be able to go back and forth."

"I certainly don't want to push you beyond your limits, and risk losing our ground," Elsa mused. "But we won't know anything until we reach Iskall Slott once more. Do any of them know the real truth of the progress you've made?"

"No. It will be a shock for all of them, to see me get up from my wheelchair to dance with Johan on Christmas Eve."

"I'll be there with the smelling salts to revive anyone who faints."

"We're both being rather glib right now, but I'm beginning to really wonder if it's still possible. I danced today, Elsa. We danced together. It was in the water, but still…"

"Yes, we did. And it was amazing. You love dancing, don't you?"

"Yes. I always have. It makes me… affectionate."

"I noticed." Elsa's voice, rather dry, made Anna chuckle. Anna reached up to grasp Elsa's face between her warm hands and she kissed her. As the kiss ended, she held her cheek close to Elsa's as she whispered, "Just over a week ago, it was, when I discovered I had fallen in love with you. You shivered to sleep in my arms. You said things I could not comprehend." She pulled back far enough to look at Elsa in the eyes. "Now we have experienced each other as lovers, I have finally seen your tattoo and your scars, and yet there is at least one thing more you must share with me. I know you're scared. But… it's time, Elsa."

Elsa's heart began to pound, and a thin headache that had been building for the last while grew in strength.

"I know," Elsa murmured. "Let me tiptoe into this truth, my heart. Tell me again, what do you remember of that night you came to my bed to comfort me? What did I say to you?"

Anna didn't hesitate before answering, "First, you were speaking to Cati, telling her that you dreamed of me, you dreamed of loving me, but that there was so little time."

"That's when you asked me to stay with you," Elsa said, shifting in her seat so she could face Anna and see her whole expression. It also eased her aching lower back.

"Yes. I asked you to stay with me forever. It was that very moment, when you had fallen asleep in my arms, that I realized I had fallen head over heels in love with you."

Warmth flooded Elsa's chest at Anna's frank words. It had been only eight days ago, but their universes had changed so much in that slim time span! "And then?" Elsa prompted.

"You began to have a nightmare, thrashing about in the sheets. You cried out about thunder, and waves, and lightning. You… you shrieked for your mom." Anna's face was filled with concern. "But you weren't with her when she died. You said you received word of the shipwreck that took your family's lives. You were travelling to Oslo from India, and heard about their accident."

"I lied about that," Elsa said, her heart thumping in her chest. "Anna, I'm so sorry. But you needed a story, so I gave you an edited one."

"But you will unedit it right now, won't you?" Anna replied, her voice hard. Elsa could hear the Baroness in the tone of her words. "You will tell me the truth, yes?"

"Yes," Elsa replied, thinking of how Idunn had vanished under the waves, their hands ripped apart by volatile currents. "What happened next that night, Anna?"

Anna looked at her for a moment or two before continuing. "I wanted to calm you, so I told you that you were dreaming. You said that this was no dream. You said…" and Anna's voice got thick with emotion as she continued, "You said that you were dying, that your world was ending. I disagreed with you, telling you that I was here with you. And then you said something so strange…"

"I told you that you had died, didn't I?" Elsa said, her voice thick. "I said something about a book."

"Yes, you did. Elsa…"

"Did I mention orange lightning?"

"Yes. I think so."

"Didn't your son once speak about orange lightning, Anna? Leif… he saw things in that storm that you did not."

Anna went completely still as she pondered Elsa's question. Her eyes gradually widened, and she slowly said, "Yes. He did. In November of 1912, when we watched the storm together. I told you of it. Elsa, what…?"

"There are three parts to my truth, Anna. There is a book. There is a sea. And there is lightning."

"Who else know this truth?"

"Only two others. Cati, and my old Master."

"Your new Master does not?"

"Not to my knowledge. Though, sometimes, as with this letter, I wonder."

"Do you still have this book? With you, right here, right now?"

"Yes."

"The book that said I died?"

"Yes."

"Go get it, please."

Anna shifted uncomfortably in her seat as Elsa rose. She saw Elsa's hand tremble as she set down the cup of now unpalatable tea. Anna's heart was lubbing thick and hard in her chest; she was finally going to have the answers she so desired. She adored Elsa, but Elsa's tendency to keep secrets was incredibly infuriating. They were lovers now, having transcended the bonds of lady and servant, and Anna dearly wanted to experience the rest of Elsa's universe.

No matter what demons or truths may arise.

She heard Elsa rummaging in her trunk, and then other, unfamiliar sounds. As she waited, Anna sent a quick and heartfelt prayer into the waiting bosom of the universe that she would be able to accept Elsa's truth, whatever it might be. She wouldn't be a lower creature than Catriona, or Elsa's departed Master.

Elsa's step was slow and forlorn as she came back into the lounge a few minutes later. She was carrying a very strange bag in her hands; Anna had never seen anything like it. Anna ripped her eyes away from the bag so she could see Elsa's face, and she was saddened to see an expression of hopelessness and even fear so plainly displayed therein.

As much as she wanted to comfort the woman she loved, Anna's eyes again went to the bizarre bag Elsa held. Elsa sat down next to her and put this bag on Anna's blanket-covered lap. "Please, Anna, you may look at everything in this backpack. And you may ask any question you wish. I will answer with truth, even… even if I think it will hurt you."

Anna was still awestruck by the bag… backpack itself. It was made of a black canvas-like material she had never seen before, yet it was travel-stained and incredibly worn. Two wide straps connected the top to the bottom, and another strap with an incredibly odd device made of some unknown material connected these two straps with each other. Anna lifted the bag and felt its heft; there were certainly some objects inside, such as the book Elsa had mentioned. She turned it over and looked at the front once more, reading a blocky script that said, 'North Face', curiosity warring with utmost misgiving; what was this, and where had it come from?

"In the bag?" Anna asked as she looked for buttons or laces in vain. "How do I get in?"

"You open the zipper. Like this," and Elsa took her hands, put them on a strange little tab, and started to pull. The zigzag pattern stitched into the fabric somehow opened like teeth as Anna pulled. Elsa retreated, letting Anna do the rest on her own. Astounded, Anna pulled the tab back and forth a few times before opening it all the way. The bag opened like an unknown and endless sea before her.

The thunder! Oh, the waves, the lightning!

Yet amidst the storm of confusion that had suddenly erupted in her heart, Anna remained aware of Elsa, mindful of how carefully Elsa sat again on the couch, cognizant of the resignation and fear still plainly written on her face.

You may look at everything, and ask every question.

Anna pulled out the item that was at the top of the open bag.

It was some sort of scarf or shawl, and somehow some of the threads of the scarf looked metallic or shiny. It was cream-coloured, and very soft. As she lifted it out of the bag and turned it over in her hands, she noticed a small tag at one end of it. Anna looked at the tag, reading out, "Calvin Klein." She looked up and into Elsa's face.

"That's my Denver airport scarf," Elsa cryptically replied. "A lady dropped it once while she ran through the airport to catch her flight. I picked it up, couldn't return it to her, so I kept it. Normally I wouldn't have been able to afford anything like it. Not with a name like Calvin Klein. Keep going. There's much more."

Anna set this… Denver airport scarf aside. Airfields, she knew. But airports? And Denver… the name sounded vaguely familiar from some of her sister's earlier accounts of life in the United States. It was some burgeoning city in the West, near the mountains, if Anna recalled correctly. Wild, uncouth, mired in protests now concerning prohibition, if Anna remembered Hans' accounts correctly…

A deep misgiving began to prick her in the chest, like a poisoned thorn. She didn't understand this bag, nor the zipper, nor any of the words Elsa had used to describe this scarf. Did Calvin Klein mean something? What was happening?

"Go on," Elsa urged, actually taking the scarf and lifting it to her nose so she could inhale. At Anna's quizzical expression, she replied, "Cati loved this scarf. She would wear it during cold mountain nights. I was just trying to see if there was anything of her left in it."

"And?"

"There's not." Elsa's voice cracked as she spoke, and Anna's heart bled in equal parts of compassion and jealousy. "It only smells musty, like anything kept hidden throughout the years." She sighed as she leaned back against the couch, tendrils of her white hair caressing her neck and throat. "Don't mind me. This is difficult. Go on, my heart."

Anna saw a wooden box next, and she drew it out of this North Face bag. It was fastened shut with a simple knot of string. "You may open it," Elsa urged. Anna tugged on the knots and pulled away the string. Then she stared at the box itself. It was oblong, about the size from her wrist to her fingertips, with a hinge that allowed it to open to the top. It seemed somewhat cheap, though the face of it was carved. The carving… it looked mechanical. As if a machine had done it. But that was impossible. Machines could not do such things.

Her mind went blank as she stared at the carving on the face of the box. It portrayed a castle on a hill, and a bridge with ornate statues lining the sides. Other buildings and spires were somehow carved within it. In the corner was written, 'Praha'. One word was her only clue.

"Praha," Anna whispered as her fingers traced the carvings. "Is it Prague, Elsa?"

"Yes."

"When were you in Czechoslovakia? You were young, I think you said."

"I was in the Czech Republic, actually. I was 24 years old. But go on, open the box. See what's inside."

Anna paused, and looked right at Elsa. "Elsa. All of Bohemia was part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire until 1918 and the war. After the war, the First Republic appeared, with president Tomas Garrigue Masaryk. He was elected in 1920 and serves even now. How could you have been there near thirty years ago? Were you there during the Czech National Revival? They… I believe they were starting to rebel and assert their own individuality."

"I should have known that you would know your history," Elsa replied, her voice breaking in misery. "You could probably tell me the names of every Queen of Denmark. Open the box, Anna. I cannot bear this."

"The current Queen of Denmark is Alexandrine, wife of King Christian," Anna replied, her voice a little nebulous in her confusion. Of course she knew all the intimate details of the politics of Europe! "I met her in Copenhagen, just before the war. Hans had been summoned to Oslo, to attend on King Haakon's entourage, and then we went together to Denmark, to dance attendance on the King's extended family from Denmark. We spoke together, that night, of what to do in case of war against Germany, we discussed the neutrality that Norway eventually used…"

"Did you have any idea of what really was to come?" Elsa asked.

With some effort, Anna wrestled her concentration upon Elsa's question, and tried to provide an honest answer. "No. How could we? We were not without our troubles, our tenants who could not pay the rent, our fisherman who could not haul in the shoals of fish we required… My children seemed so young that night, Elsa. And I had faith in mankind. I went to the court in Copenhagen still childish, still naïve, believing that my own meagre efforts could have some sort of impact on the world. I have since learned my folly. The Great War taught me my folly."

"It is not folly," Elsa growled, her blue eyes suddenly sharp, and dangerous. "The universe needs you, Anna. And everything you have experienced has created the very weapon the world needs. To fight for its future. For without you, the future will fail."

"But we already fought, Elsa," Anna replied, trying to keep up with her love's cryptic comments. "And… although many say that we won that war, I wonder… if we somehow lost." She thought of her own son, and whispered, "My family certainly lost. Just as you did."

"The Great War," Elsa said, her voice nebulous. "You called it a war to end all wars. But it was not the end, Anna. Oh, god, honey. You cannot believe…" and her voice trailed off.

"What do you mean?"

"Please. Look in the box. I need you to keep looking."

Shaken by her lover's trembling voice, Anna finally opened the little wooden box. Inside she found a small assortment of somewhat inexpensive jewellery. She picked up a pendant on a cheap black string first, and Elsa murmured, "I bought that necklace in Waterton, in a souvenir shop among the Canadian Rockies."

"Waterton?" Anna echoed.

"A national park, my heart. Mountains. Waterfalls. Green trails among hidden valleys. We grew up next to these mountains, and went there often. Actual camping. In tents. We were not scared of the bears, though others were."

"Tents," Anna echoed. Her poor brain couldn't keep up with all the information it was receiving, neither in physical nor in oral form. "You mean those awful nomadic structures of hides? Such as Mongolian herders are wont to use?"

"No. Ours were Nylon. Waterproof. Anna…"

"Keep looking, right?"

"Yes. Please."

Bemused, Anna rummaged through the wooden box, turning up strange earrings and bracelets and rings, all of them seemingly inexpensive, some quite tarnished by time. Yet, at the bottom of the box, she found something distinctly odd.

Coins. Different shapes, sizes. She picked up one of them; it was large, silver on the outside, and gold on the inside. A bear was stamped in the golden center. The country of origin was Canada.

Then Anna saw the date stamped on the coin.

It was 2005.

No! Impossible!

She turned it over in her hands and ran her fingers over the lightly embossed date once more. Aloud, she whispered, "2005." Then she closed her eyes for a moment as a most impossible idea bubbled up from the depths of her mind.

No. It cannot be. Elsa cannot be from…

Anna opened her eyes again and looked at Elsa, whose eyes were reddened, whose entire aspect was lost and bleating, like a lamb.

"Where is the book?" Anna asked.

Elsa reached into the bag and pulled out the next item, which was a cloth bag with a simple drawstring. "Here it is," she said, putting it on Anna's lap. Anna set the coin back into the jewellery box and then handed the box over to Elsa. Then she took the cloth bag and felt the oblong shape of a book inside. "Why the cloth bag?"

"To protect the book. It is perhaps my most valuable possession. As you will see."

Anna opened the bag and drew out the book.

She'd never seen anything like it. The cover was made of some sort of thickened paper, and was glossy and printed in vivid colours. The scene on the cover was familiar, yet not at the same time; it showed Larvik, but a Larvik she could never have imagined. Her eyes went up to Iskall Slott, there on the hill above the village, and her heart plummeted with sudden anxiety. Her home looked shabby, ill-kept. Nearly ruinous. Her eyes sought the title, and she read, in English, 'Guidebook to County Vestfold'.

Her previous misgiving began to be replaced by actual fright. Anna saw a bookmarker of some sort part-way through the book, so she opened it to that page; easily enough even without the bookmarker, for the spine of the book had been broken here. Why had Elsa come to this part of the book again and again, so that the spine had been broken?

Before she could look at what was written there, she gasped as she saw the bookmarker. It was a postcard, sepia-tinted, depicting she and Hans. She knew this particular picture well; a court photographer had brought his apparatus out to the castle in 1914. He had taken the picture of Anna's family that she kept with herself at all times, the same picture Leif had shown Elsa in the hospital tents. He had also taken this picture, among a few others, in the library of Iskall Slott. Anna was seated on a chair, and Hans stood behind her. They were both in formal clothing. Anna ignored the representation of her dead husband and looked at herself.

She could see ancient sadness in her eyes. She had fought with Hans that very morning, about the new tax her husband had wanted to introduce to their tenants. Both he and his father had made some rather disastrous investments, and Hans had been searching for any means possible to get more money into the estate. Anna had tried to counter him, but she had eventually failed. Sentiments towards the Barony Skaldenfoss had been quite awful until the outbreak of war. Anna's secret soup kitchen had done much to revive the relations between the noble family and the people they served.

How did Elsa come to have this picture, and why was it for sale as a postcard? "How do you have this, Elsa?" she asked.

"I bought it at a shop in Larvik, where I also found the guidebook," Elsa shakily replied. "There were many postcards to choose from, but this one… this one compelled me. I saw you on the postcard and knew I had to have it. You… enraptured me." Elsa shuffled even closer to Anna, and put her hand on Anna's leg. "Read, my darling. Read from this chapter of the book, and then you will understand."

Anna tucked the postcard under the book and then began to read aloud from the bold printing at the start of this particular chapter, "Castle Iskall Slott and the Fall of Barony Skaldenfoss." Her senses swimming, Anna paused to take a deep, fortifying breath, and then continued, "In previous chapters we read about the Arendelle family and the rife mismanagement of the Barony Skaldenfoss. With the intervention of Lady Anna, the Baroness, things were on the mend. However, disaster would once again strike this particular family, altering their fortunes forever.

"Hans Arendelle, Baron of Skaldenfoss, died in a train accident on January 4, 1924. His wife, Lady Skaldenfoss, had suffered devastating injuries in the same wreck; a broken back, broken legs, and a broken skull. Injuries so severe that it proved she could not survive them.

"Anna Arendelle, Dowager Baroness of Skaldenfoss, passed away of sudden infection nine months after the accident that had taken the life of her husband. She died on September 30, 1924…" Anna abruptly stopped reading. A sob of immeasurable grief created a boulder in her throat, and she closed her eyes. Desperate, she blindly reached out for Elsa and felt Elsa take her hand.

Today was December 9. And she was alive. She hadn't died.

But then Anna thought of what date was written in the book. September 30 was the day of her greatest pain, when Elsa had barely left her side. "I will not lose you today," Elsa had whispered while working with Anna that day. "I will not lose you, Lady Skaldenfoss. You are mine, you hear me? You are mine."

The night of the great shiver, when Elsa had clutched at her after the nightmare. "You're alive?" she had gasped.

Even with her eyes closed, Anna felt her world spin around her. She clutched at Elsa's hand with even greater force and put her other hand over her face. Head bowed, shoulders shaking, Anna felt that spinning world wobble first one way, then another, before falling off its axis and breaking into pieces like an eggshell.

The world as she knew it would never be the same.

Her world… had fallen.

"Take a deep breath, Anna," Elsa said, using the firm voice of the therapist. "In through your nose, and out through your mouth."

Anna did as she was told, though her breath caught a bit on that boulder in her throat. She took several more deep breaths before she felt able to open her eyes.

Elsa still held her hand so tenderly, so cautiously. The firelight painted her in warm hues.

But Elsa didn't seem real anymore. The lover she had experienced just hours ago… she was a phantom, a ghost, as ephemeral as stardust, and as loose as dandelion fuzz. If Anna blew on her, Elsa would disintegrate.

Of all the questions that flashed like fireflies in Anna's mind, this one had to come first.

"What year were you born, Elsa?"

Elsa took a deep breath. "1986."

Anna blinked as she looked at Elsa. The date Elsa mentioned was slipping right off the edge of Anna's consciousness, and she held on to the rim of this date with grasping mental fingers. She wanted to take it, stuff it in her mouth, and swallow it. Even if it was impossible. Even if it just couldn't be.

But then anger appeared, and the date slipped out of her fingers and crashed onto desecrated ground, where it shattered into a thousand glittery-edged pieces. Each piece was sharpened by one of Elsa's many lies.

Anna felt wounded by those edges. Pain and fury gripped her heart and she nearly pulled her hand out of Elsa's grip.

Trying desperately to lean into her confusion and discomfort, Anna nevertheless asked, "Have you ever told me the truth, Elsa?"

The words were a slap to Elsa's face; her cheeks reddened and she saw Elsa reel from the thin and sharp force of them.

A higher part of Anna's mind whispered, You're failing the test you promised you wouldn't fail, Anna…

"Yes and no," Elsa bravely replied. "Everything from 1912 to now, mostly yes. Everything before then, mostly no."

It was too much. Anna pulled her hand out of Elsa's grasp. She looked at the fire for a moment, and then down at the strange items littering her lap, and then she covered her face with both of her hands and bowed her head.

Anna wanted to scream. She wanted to weep. She wanted to lash out.

Elsa could not really be from the future. It was impossible. Against all laws of science and physics.

Against all laws of God and the universe, as well. Wasn't it?

"Baby?" she heard Elsa tentatively ask.

"Give me a moment, please."

The book on her lap. It was heavy. Anna had glimpsed something about Johan next, and she still didn't know what it meant by the fall of Barony Skaldenfoss. This was evidence. It had heft, it had presence. Elsa could not have created these things. They were artefacts, weren't they? Artefacts from an unknown culture. Did it matter that it was a culture that hadn't yet occurred?

Head bowed, eyes covered, breath laboured, Anna wrestled with this awesome impossible truth. Her agile mind brought other evidence before her, stretching back to their very first days together.

Elsa had called Constantinople by another name on their first day together. And again, just a few hours ago, when Anna had finally been permitted to see Elsa's naked body, including her tattoo and her scars. The tattoo itself; women of Anna's time simply did not have them. But perhaps it was commonplace in the… oh god… the early twenty-first century.

Then Elsa had given her massages, on a table that Anna had never imagined could exist. Spinal adjustments, aromatherapy, her odd turns of phrase and purported slang, and then the words that had slipped from her mouth the night she had been doused with laudanum.

Anna Arendelle died decades ago, of infection…

But Anna hadn't died. Because Elsa had come to her. Elsa had saved her life.

If Elsa hadn't come to her, Anna would have died. Her fate would have been as that written in the guidebook. Whether by suicide or by infection, her life would have ended, one way or another.

But Elsa came. Elsa was from the future, yet she had come to Anna Arendelle.

God, Anna had once called her on it! Where do you even come from? Anna had asked, when Elsa had given her a theory about nightmares being a way of shedding mental toxin.

Maybe I come from the future, Elsa had cryptically replied, where such ideas are commonplace.

At the time Anna had been exasperated, and frustrated that Elsa wouldn't tell her the truth. Maybe she actually had.

Could it really be true? Where else would these things have come from? Anna could touch them, look at them, behold the strangeness of them. The wooden box, the coins, the tag on the scarf, the very bag itself with its… had Elsa called it a zipper?

Elsa's knowledge; from the very beginning Anna had called it uncanny. She knew things, did things that were so strange.

Anna finally knew why.

If Elsa really were from the future, then she knew other things. She knew about world events. She knew what would happen to Anna and her family.

Wait.

The book had been rather explicit about when and how Hans had died.

Which meant that Elsa had known about the accident itself.

Anna lifted her head and carefully took her hands away from her face. Sitting painfully erect, she turned and looked at the woman sitting next to her. Elsa Wolff's face was very pale, very scared.

"You knew about my accident. You knew what would happen to me."

"Darling, I did."

"I lost my husband. I suffered for eight months."

"Yes, you did." Tears began to slip from Elsa's eyes.

Anna had to look away again. Elsa had known, yet she hadn't stopped it. She could have stopped it, she could have saved Anna, couldn't she have?

"Oh, Anna," she heard Elsa whisper. "Darling, forgive me. I was with my Master in London that very day, the day of your accident. I meditated for hours, agonizing over our decision not to save you. Though he advised me to let it occur, the final choice was mine. And I chose, Anna. Maybe I could have prevented the train wreck. But… I didn't. I allowed it to happen to you. All of it."

Anger glowed like fiery coals in Anna's devastated heart. She looked at Elsa and hated how sharp her eyes were, how Elsa flinched from them.

"You let Hans die. You let me suffer for eight months. Elsa… how could you?"

Elsa continued to silently cry. "I came to Norway in February this year, to be nearer to you. It was so hard, Anna, to know what had happened to you and yet let it be. My Master knew young Lord Galthe's family. He asked me to tend him, to ease his transition to the other world. I'm vaccinated against tuberculosis, honey. I can't contract the disease. Every day as I watched him waste away my mind was on you, the lady in the postcard, the mother of the young man in the hospital tents in France. Even as I silently cursed my Master for making me watch someone die of consumption again, just as my Cati had."

Anna could not think of Elsa's own hurts, her own turmoil and heartache.

She thought of bedsores instead, how they had pulsed with heat and lightning, how they had burst with pus and infection, how she had burned with fever and yet shivered with cold as her beleaguered body fought toxicity and pain, those months after her husband's death.

And her higher self wrestled with a truth deeper than the roots of mountains.

Would I have wanted her to save me, to live a life with Hans? The man who misused me, who abused me, whom I loathed?

Without the accident, none of this could have been!

Anna couldn't help but think of how she and Elsa had made love to each other earlier this very day. In loving each other, and bringing each other release, Anna had rediscovered her own perfection. She had not been made wrong. From the beginning, Anna had been made perfectly, gloriously right.

In fact, there had been so many experiences shared with her therapist that had shown her the truth about life, about love, about the invisible world. All of them came about because of the accident, and the death of her husband. In losing everything, Anna rediscovered what she had, and who she really was.

Perhaps Anna Arendelle really had died in the wreck. A shadow took her place, occupying her body all those months until Elsa came to her. For Elsa was the catalyst, she alone provided the spark for Anna's resurrection.

For Anna truly felt reborn.

Her heart softened once more to see Elsa's devastated face before her. Elsa had also suffered, terribly, and, on many accounts, all to the eventual benefit of Anna's own family.

Elsa falling on boulders in India. Elsa sewing up the arteries of her beloved son. Elsa's hand on Anna's hip, their first Sunday together, as Anna drowned in agony, the laudanum and Elsa's hand her only anchor. That day, the day the book said Anna died, was the day they finally called each other by their true names.

I fear for you, my lady, Elsa had whispered that evening, knowing she had to leave to see her dying Master in London.

"When you left me to go to London and see your Master, you said you feared for me," Anna quietly said. "Tell me why. Tell me the truth."

"You seemed to pass through the most crucial point," Elsa replied a moment later. "In the midst of your mental battle that day, you could have slipped from my grasp. You returned to life, and to me, that particular fate passed you by. But I thought of other things that could happen to you, with me so far away and unable to prevent them. Yes, I feared to leave you. I was terrified, Anna, by the thought that you wouldn't be there when I returned."

"I could sense it," Anna said. "You later told me that was the day you started to fall in love with me."

"Yes." A tear slipped from Elsa's eye and slid down her face. She didn't touch it, didn't wipe it away.

Elsa's story, upon the day of their arrival in Scarborough, of falling upon the boulders in India, she had said something that day that now made more sense than ever.

I fell for you, Anna, like it was meant to be.

Falling on boulders. Falling in love. Like it was meant to be.

Anna's mind and heart suddenly opened in vast acceptance and trust, as if her great celestial mouth was finally able to swallow everything Elsa had said. However it had come about, it was meant to be. It couldn't be impossible, because Elsa was right here at her side. This woman, whom she cherished and adored, had been born in 1986. And, against all odds, she came to Anna Arendelle, to save her body and soul.

So Anna opened her celestial and eternal mouth and spoke with wonder and reverence, repeating words she had said once before, "Surely God gave you to me, Elsa Wolff."

More tears slid from Elsa's wounded eyes, this time she swiped them away. When she opened her mouth to reply, she very nearly sobbed, "I hope so, Anna. Otherwise, what is it all for? If it's not for you, just who is my suffering for?"

Anna's eyes softened at the naked agony in Elsa's voice. Her heart cracked open, to bleed adoration and honey.

"Imagine it, Anna. Imagine being separated from your loved ones, forever. Imagine being ripped away from everything you know, from everyone you have ever cared for. Imagine a storm, a storm so great and powerful it tears your soul into shreds and throws it into the winds. And though you spend your life searching for every little bit, every little piece that was lost, it is hopeless. Because some things never return. Some things never survive the passage over the endless sea."

Her voice broke on the words and Elsa abruptly got up from the couch. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and took several steps, then stood near the fireplace.

Then there was silence, for a moment, as the fire crackled and hissed. She didn't see Anna stretch out her hand, to attempt to grab her dress as Elsa moved away. She didn't see the agony on Anna's face as her hand closed on air instead of fabric.

Elsa stood by the fire, her hands now closed into fists, her neck lifted to the air, tears streaming down her face. When she spoke, her words went right into the fire, to be caught and consumed like an ancient sacrifice.

"I used to wake up some mornings and forget that I'm stranded here, a hundred years in the past. I would reach for my phone, to check the weather, or send a message to my mom, and see my schedule for the day. Only then would I remember what happened, and I would try not to think of my mom's coffee machine back at the farmhouse, or how we would get burritos from the Mexican place in town and drink Cerveza with lime. I would try not to remember cooking lessons with my aunt; her sushi was always perfectly formed, but my rolls always seemed to fall apart! I would try not to think of crisp winter mornings back in Canada, scraping the frost off the windshield of my car and seeing sundogs hovering in the icy sky. Nor would I think of warm summer nights at the monastery, hearing the monkeys howl in the trees, as I looked at the universe above me and thought it a gentle, benevolent thing."

Elsa finally turned her head, to look back at Anna, as she once again wiped her eyes. The emotion was so raw, so naked that, though Anna could barely understand what Elsa was saying, she knew Elsa was in pain. How she wanted to touch her and comfort her!

"I don't have those days anymore, Anna, waking up thinking that I'm home. Because I'm lost now. Adrift. The waves will never take me back to the shores I knew. Most of the time I can accept my losses, I can accept what happened to me even though I could never understand it. But sometimes… Sometimes, honey, I just want to go home."

Elsa abruptly turned away again, covering her mouth against another sob. Her shoulders shook as she tried to restrain her emotions.

Anna furled the blanket away from her legs and then put her hand on the arm of the couch. Setting her feet carefully on the floor, she gathered her breath and her willpower and then she stood up.

Elsa half-turned at seeing this movement from the corner of her eye, and then she burst into tears. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

Anna took a step towards her, and then another. Her legs were perfect, her nerves were a golden web. Elsa had retrieved them for her, had brought them back over the endless sea. Every step she took towards her lover was Elsa's gift to her.

I am alive!

And then she took the last best step, and took Elsa in her arms. Elsa stayed closed up like a fist, her hands still over her face as she sobbed, even as Anna stood there, holding her tight. Anna didn't care that her lower back squealed with sudden pain, nor that she hung on to Elsa, needing just as much support as she gave.

"Some things can't be undone," Anna whispered. "No matter how hard we wish for them."

Leif and his legs. Heidi and the Spanish Flu. Even Hans and that stray cow on the tracks.

Elsa remained rigid against her, shaking like a leaf tossed in a storm.

Anna stroked Elsa's back, and then held her waist even as she opened her mouth and whispered, "You are not adrift, Elsa. You will never be lost again. I am your home now, darling. I am…"

"… you, you are the only place I want to be," Elsa whispered, finishing the sentiment she had spoken the night she had returned from London.

Elsa then took a few deep breaths, and finally put her head against Anna's neck, and wrapped her arms around Anna's body. As sensitive and courteous as always, she then lifted Anna slightly, helping take the burden of Anna's weight from her legs. She continued to weep a little while longer, her chest heaving in her distress. But then she quieted even more, and her breathing slowly became regular.

She suddenly lifted her head and stared at Anna with love and admiration in her eyes. "You're standing."

"Don't be so surprised. It's all your doing," Anna gently teased, as she lifted a hand to cup and hold Elsa's cheek. "You're the one who saved me. You think I don't know who is responsible for changing my fate written in the guidebook?"

Elsa's blue eyes were so soft, so anguished. She lifted a hand to stroke Anna's face. "I knew yours would be a life worth saving," she whispered. "I came to you in August, knowing I had the power to save you. I didn't know, Anna, that you would also save me…" Her fingers drifted to Anna's lips, to lightly trace them. "I've never asked you this, sweetheart. What did you think of me, the first day I came to you?"

"I… I despised you," Anna frankly replied. "I saw you as a destroying angel. The moment we met I knew I could not browbeat you into submission. In you I would find a worthy adversary. You would thwart me in my desire, to end my life and cross the endless sea…" Her legs aching, Anna nevertheless clutched the back of Elsa's neck, bringing her closer. "And now I know the truth. You, my beloved, you came to me across time itself. By all the gods, we… we were truly meant to be."

"You really believe so?" Elsa whispered.

"Yes," Anna replied, before using her hand to pull Elsa's mouth down upon hers. Their kiss was soft and infinitely tender as they used this truth to seal themselves to each other more fully than ever before.

But then Anna's knees began to buckle under the strain. Before she had to say anything, Elsa swept her up and into her arms and carried her back to the couch. She set Anna down among the blanket and cushions and took her place by Anna's side, just where she had always been destined to be.

Just after she set Anna down, the clock began to chime, sounding seven times. "Gods above, what is wrong with today?" Elsa joked, rather nervously.

"Let Kate bring supper, and then we can continue our conversation," Anna suggested. "Elsa, gather up these things and hide them. Then go wash your face. You look horrible." Elsa momentarily grinned at Anna's frank words. Kate really was a remarkably prompt girl. They had perhaps five minutes before she would arrive with their dinner.

"Anna, do you really believe…"

"Yes, I believe you. Go. Wash up. Come back. We will continue this conversation, I promise you."

Elsa began putting these strange things back into the strange bag. Anna's eyes lingered on the guidebook. What else would it say about her and about her family?

The fall of Barony Skaldenfoss…

Elsa pecked her on the cheek before she rose and disappeared into her room. The moment she was gone, Anna smoothed her dress over her knees. She looked about the room and saw nothing out of place. Elsa reappeared, only to disappear into the bathing chamber to wash up.

Anna heard sounds from the bathing chamber even as she heard the knock on the door and the distinct clink of keys at the lock. "My lady?" Kate asked as she opened the door.

"Good evening, Kate," Anna replied. "Come in, please."

Kate bustled through the door with the tray and went immediately to the dining table to set it for them. Anna watched as the maid competently set the napkins and cutlery, the wine glasses and the extra small plate, before setting down their meals. Two flasks of wine accompanied their dinner, a white and a red. Anna looked at the covered trays of food and realized that she was ravenously hungry.

Kate came to the lounge next, to refresh the fire before clearing away the tea. She curtsied to Lady Skaldenfoss before retreating, locking the door once again behind her.

Elsa crept back into the room, the bag swung over her shoulder by one strap. She carried it with distinct ease; it fell from her shoulder as with ancient body memory. Her face was still a little pale, though it was now scrubbed fresh and clean. As she stepped forward, Anna hoisted herself into her wheelchair, movements now practiced and smooth, not like her first attempt that had landed her with a lightly sprained wrist. Elsa quickly stepped forward to wheel her to the table. She took off the lids and inhaled. "That looks good," she said, looking at the poached fish with roasted potatoes and steamed greens. "Let me guess, the one with extra greens is for me?"

"Just as the doctor ordered," Anna replied. Elsa set down the bag by the table and sat down next to Anna and began to eat. Anna's mind flooded with questions.

"What did you say you used to make with your aunt? Su… su something."

"Sushi. She was from Japan and married my mother's brother. She was an excellent cook. They lived nearby, only a hundred kilometers away. We saw them often."

"You call a hundred kilometers nearby?"

"This was the Canada of my youth, honey. The car and highways made everything close. Cars could easily travel 120 kilometers per hour. Even faster, though that was illegal."

Anna stared at her again, as if seeing her for the first time. She had so many questions that tripped over each other and fell in groaning heaps on her tongue. So Anna began to eat, as slowly and carefully as she had been taught all the long years of her life. She was a lady, she had been born to noble parents in the year 1867.

And her lover, Elsa Wolff, had been born in 1986, over a hundred years later.

Elsa ate slowly as well, carefully picking the thin bones out of the fish and scraping away the cream sauce, which she wouldn't eat. When their plates were nearly empty, and the silence grew a little thin, Elsa suddenly set down her fork, wiped her mouth with her napkin, and asked, "Are you all right, Anna?"

"I have a lot to think about, Elsa. And many, many questions."

"But you do believe me, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. You're right, darling, the evidence you have certainly helps. But… how did it even happen? What do you mean about the sea and the lightning?"

All thought of eating vanished as Elsa began to tell the story.

Elsa spoke briefly about going to Europe in 2010, living in Prague for a while before wandering her way to India. She went home to Canada briefly in 2012, but then stayed in India for the next eight years. After her mom sold the farm, Idunn decided to move to Trondheim permanently. "She demanded I join them for a family cruise from Norway to Greece," Elsa mused, twirling her empty wine glass in her hands. "She said I could go back to being a hermit in India afterwards, if that's what I truly wanted. But that it was high time for the family to be together."

So Elsa flew from India to Oslo, there to meet her mom, her brother Ivan and his wife Julie. Their two children had been left with Julie's family in Canada. "We spent four days together in Oslo," Elsa said. "It was wonderful to be with my family again, after so long apart from each other. But by day four, I needed some time to myself. That's when I took the train to Larvik, and bought the guidebook and your postcard."

"Did you see Iskall Slott?"

"I couldn't. It hadn't been maintained well over the years, and only part of it was open for tourists. But the day I went was a Monday, and the part of the castle open for tourists was closed."

Anna's skin raised in gooseflesh to think of her home so run-down, and yet somehow open to tourists. Tourists! What happened to her descendants? Other questions pebbled her tongue, but she swallowed them down, even though they were bitter. She had to hear this story first.

"After that day in Larvik, I returned to Oslo and we prepared to set sail. I had a small suitcase with me, and this bag. Ivan laughed at me as I carefully packed this bag with those things most important to me. I… I wrapped everything in plastic. Triple-wrapped, in fact."

"Sorry. What's plastic?"

"Ah. I'll show you." Elsa rummaged into her bag, going deeper than before. She withdrew an oblong, rectangular black object with a glassy front that was wrapped in a bag made of a clear, thin material. Elsa withdrew the rectangular object and handed Anna the plastic. "As you can see, it's flexible and waterproof, yet prone to punctures and tears. The future world drowns in this stuff." Anna heard anger and sorrow in Elsa's voice.

Anna was curious about this plastic, but more curious about the story, so she gave the bag back to Elsa and waved at her to continue.

"What my brother didn't know is that I am prone to nightmares. And, in the years leading up to this reunion, I had had one particular nightmare more than once. Waves. A frothing, loathsome sea. And lightning. So yes, I ignored my teasing brother and wrapped my belongings in several layers of plastic, just in case."

"Something was speaking to you, wasn't it?"

"Yes. Something was. Of course I believed in the invisible world by then. I had encountered it when I fell in the gorge three years prior and broke my back, only to eventually recover from my injury."

"That's when you broke your back? In… in your time?"

"Yes. Anna?"

"I'm just trying to erase the old to let in the new."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. I understand why you lied. Elsa… you couldn't have told me these things much earlier than today. I needed Scarborough, first. I needed the aurora. And… I needed to fall in love with you. Otherwise… it might have been too much."

Elsa's eyes melted a little, and she reached out her hand. Anna took it, and squeezed it.

"So we got on the cruise ship," Elsa said, continuing her narrative. She described how the ship cast off from Oslo in the evening, and started down the strait. Elsa became sea sick almost immediately, and stayed in her little room while her family enjoyed the view from the deck. "Ivan soon called me to look at something. I came out, and saw a dark bruise on the horizon, a mass of black clouds that swiftly blotted out the sun. The other passengers seemed amused by the oncoming storm. The ship was quite large, and barely rolled in the strengthening waves."

Elsa looked away, and began speaking to the fire in her distress. Anna continued to hold her hand, stroking her with her thumb.

"Only two hours after we set sail, that storm engulfed us. The waves grew incredibly wild, and the ship began to groan. That's when an announcement came, for us to put on our life jackets, just in case." Elsa laughed, but it was a low and dark sound. "My Master had always taught me that the universe would give me what I needed. Not what I wanted. I didn't know that it was my storm. Nor that everyone on that ship would be sacrificed in order to transform me…"

Anna briefly thought of the train wreck, of the other lives lost, other lives ruined, how this accident had served as the genesis of her own transformation.

"I stood on the deck, holding my mom's hand, Ivan and Julie huddled next to us. Everyone was quiet, waiting to see what would happen. Waiting for further instruction."

When Elsa paused, Anna asked, "And what did happen, Elsa?"

"The skies ripped open with rain and wind," Elsa whispered. "And then orange lightning began to strike."

Chaos. Madness. Screaming. The evacuation order was given, so there was a mad rush to the lifeboats. "I held mom's hand as we raced to the boats. I had this bag on my back. We… we didn't even make it to the boats."

Elsa took a shaky breath, and then continued. "Imagine the chaos. The confusion. The noise! The sizzle of lightning, immediately accompanied by cracks of immense thunder. I saw one bolt, my heart. It was orange. And it struck the ship."

Eyes wide open, Anna could nevertheless imagine everything Elsa said. The groans and explosions as the ship broke apart, the waters to flood into the bottom decks, causing the ship to sink faster and faster. Rain continued to pour, lightning continued to strike. Then Elsa was in the water with Idunn, until the volatile currents ripped them apart. "I screamed for her," Elsa whispered. "With her life-vest on, she could stay afloat, but the waves were so awful. Between one surge and the other, she was gone. The sky was black. The water was blacker. I grabbed some debris and tried to stay afloat myself. Just then, a last bolt of orange lightning struck the water a short distance away from me. The electricity surged through the water and enveloped me. I screamed even as I felt it in my bones, in my blood. I think I momentarily lost consciousness. When I came to my senses, I looked back, only to find that the cruise ship was gone. Simply… gone."

Elsa said that she drifted for a time, physically and emotionally spent. The storm quieted very quickly, and eventually the clouds thinned enough to reveal the starry heavens. "The stars were very bright," Elsa mused. "I could see the entirety of the Milky Way. Later, I realized that it must have been the storm itself that sent me back through time, especially that last bolt of lightning that passed right through me. I appeared in the exact same place, only 108 years in the past."

She struggled to shore, dazed and nearly witless. Exhausted, she dropped her life-vest and never saw it again. Her pack was still on her back, however. "I landed at Verdens Ende," Elsa whispered. "I spent that night shivering behind a rock."

Anna cringed to think of how she and Leif had slept warm and safe in their beds that night following the storm. The storm that had brought Elsa Wolff into their world.

Lightning is of the gods, he had said. Lightning strikes our towers, and dissolves our structures.

And it comes to those who need it.

Lightning had struck both Leif and Anna, yet the remedy to those strikes had also been provided by their loving, benevolent universe, in the form of Elsa Wolff.

Maybe the remedy would always be provided, somehow.

"I hate to think that I slept warm and safe that night, while you were shivering and cold," Anna said, once again caressing Elsa's hand. "Elsa, what a terrible experience you had. But… I can't say I'm sorry for it."

"I'm not sorry for it, either, love. Not with you in my life. But still… I wish I knew if my mom still lived. Maybe my family survived the shipwreck. But there's no way I can know. I will live out my life and eventually die here, forever separated from my family and my time."

"So this is your truth about the book, the sea, and the lightning," Anna quietly said. "Thank you, Elsa, for answering my questions."

...

A/N: As always, thank you for reading, and I would appreciate any reviews or comments you could share. -Jen