Read the A/N at the bottom of the chapter.

The feeling of warm bed sheets rubbing against a sweaty skin after a passionate night of 'happy fun time' makes for a pleasantly uncomfortable feeling. Yes, never-mind the contradiction, but to those of you who've gotten laid at some point of your life, the day after the deed is as pleasant as doing the deed itself.

Unless alcohol's involved, which fortunately, isn't the case with me here since 'technically', I'm still underaged. Though it still doesn't stop me from drinking from time to time.

Raising my body from the unfamiliar bed, I rub my eyes to get rid of the irritating eye flakes after a good night sleep.

Well, there wasn't much sleeping happening… buuuut you guys know what I mean.

Stretching my arms upwards, I exhale excessively through my nostrils. I can still feel the bed tempting me to fall back in and sleep the day away, but sadly, this man is immune to simple acts of temptation. Slowly and carefully getting off the bed, at least careful enough to not wake up sleeping beauty over here, I walk around the room to gather the scattered article of clothing laying around.

They're mostly my uniform; the shirt, tie, blazer… pants… but I pick up hers too. She had a rough night yesterday, wouldn't want to make her wake up to the sight of an even messier bedroom. Putting on my uniform half heartedly, I exit the bedroom and into the main commons area of this luxury condominium.

Looking around, I'm impressed. This place can easily house three or four people with how large it is. The place has everything that a single, uncommitted office lady would ever need. The kitchen's large and stocked with more than enough appliances, the same can't be said for the contents of her fridge, sadly, and the bathroom's equipped with both a shower and tub. The toilet has a heater too, amazing. This place, obviously, is high class; not something a normal high school student like me can afford.

Aha, but there's where you're wrong.

"Naruto-kun, dear, are you outside~?"

Dropping the appropriate amount of sugar cubes into the coffee I've made while my inner monologue's playing, I hold both mugs in my hand.

"I'm making coffee, come outside if you want it."

I can hear her whining about still wanting to stay in bed, but I know that's not an option.

She has a board's meeting at ten and the clock's just two hours short.

Setting down the two mugs on the tempered glass dining table, I bring one up to my face and inhaled the freshly brewed aroma of morning coffee through my nostrils.

Smiling, I take gulp of the warm morning beverage.

'Ah… nothing says good morning than free coffee after a job well done.'

Looking outside the glass sliding door that leads to the veranda of this impressive condo, the sound of soft footsteps approaching here is almost unheard of due to the carpeted floor.

"Good morning dear." She whispers into my ear.

I feel her arms wrap around my neck, her nose tickling the back of my ears as my own nose is pleasantly assaulted by the musky scent of lavender oil and vanilla imbued to her skin. It makes for a pleasant sensation, something I enjoy myself.

Chuckling, I allow her to indulge in this moment of playfulness. I sit here, playing along as her hand roams underneath my uniform through the rather large opening that my lazily buttoned shirt provides, her delicate fingers tracing along my collarbone and such. I reach my own hand out to caress her cheek, allowing her to have an easier to my face.

Instantly, my face is assaulted by quick, strawberry flavored, kisses.

Eyelids, eyebrows, forehead, nose, chin… if her lipstick isn't already gone, I'd have a hard time washing my face.

After a minute of our playful session, she finally settles down to enjoy the mug I've prepared for her.

"Hey."

Arching an eyebrow, I responded, "Hm? What is it?"

"...won't you stay with me?"

And just like that, the coffee that I've been drinking tastes twice bitter than what it should be.

"You know that's not an option."

"But I need you. I've been feeling much, much better ever since I met you."

When it comes to this line of work, you need to know when to say yes and no.

Thankfully, I've been doing this long enough to know when to say both.

"I'm sorry." I say, letting go of my mug. "But you know I can't."

Most of the compensated dating done in Japan is done by women. A sizeable portion of the population happens to be high school students and ninety percent of female high schoolers engaging in such activities did so out of their own consent, while admitting in finding discomfort for having to trade sexual favors for money.

So what about the men, where do they stand in all of this?

Simple.

"It goes against the agency's policy. If they ever find out, we're both dead." I say to her in the calmest voice I can muster. Huh, if I remember correctly, this isn't the first time I've had this conversation.

While the presence of men in the business isn't as prominent as the girls', we make up a niche section of the market. You won't see young lads meeting up with women in some shady, neon lit alleyway in downtown Ginza - at least not anymore nowadays.

"You can just quit. Then you can move in with me," she sounds giddy, anxious. "I-I'll provide for you!"

...as expected.

I'm not sure how anyone will take it, but this isn't the first time a client has said something like this to me. And she won't be the last either.

I shake my head.

"I'm sorry."

The face she makes rid her of her adult status. She looks like a young high school freshman who's been rejected by her very first crush, even after preparing her feelings for a very long time. The waterworks come to play and that is where I start feeling uncomfortable.

If there's one thing that stuck with me for a very long time, is that I can't stand the sight of women crying.

I just can't, for some reason.

Especially when it involves… emotions like this one.

Her choked sobs dig their way into my soul, carving through my defenses through the means of guilt. Closing my eyes, I let out a sigh.

I take back what I said, I still don't know what I'm doing.

"Look, don't cry." I reach forward, leaning towards her with my hand placed on her shoulder. Making circular rubbing motions with my time, I attempt to soothe her. "You can always call me anytime, even outside of work. I'll try to find time for you."

I feel sick saying this, honestly.

I don't like lying. But I've been finding it extremely difficult to do otherwise lately.

Calming down, she finishes her drink. We spend a few minutes chatting for a while, before cleaning the bedroom and doing the dishes from last night's late dinner. I make quick work of using the washroom, doing the necessary grooming and morning.

All that work done has eaten the time on the clock leaving us with only an hour left to work with.

Fortunately for me, I'm just about done.

"You're staying at home today?" I ask her once I return back to the living room. She's lounging around on the sofa, now wearing something more decent than a pair of brassier and panties… as decent as a loose fitting t-shirt can get, at least.

"Hmm." is her lackluster response. I kind of expect that. Maybe I should give her some time.

Yeah, that will be ideal.

"Alright then."

"You going to school now?"

"Yup." I reply, already at the door getting ready to put on my shoes. "There's an exam today and I intend to ace it."

She walks over from the living area to the doorway. Just as I am about to open the door, she pulls me by the collar, turns my body and pins my back on the door.

I can't say I am surprised but I am not expecting this level of heat from her either. Whatever effort I've made on making my uniform look neat and presentable is thrown out of the window. Her aggressive pulling, scratching and rubbing are more than necessary to undo the first couple of buttons of my shirt as well as the tie that is meant to keep it together in the first place.

My face isn't exactly safe from her assault either. In fact, it's practically ground zero for her kiss.

I don't know how she manages to apply lipstick again, or why even bother doing so in the first place, but my face's now riddled with their marks. I frown, but I don't exactly struggle.

Technically, this is still a part of my job. This kind of job is only over when you exit your client's house.

I wince when she bites down hard on my right ear lobe.

Ow.

"Was that really necessary?" I send her a disapproving look.

"Yes." Oh now you're smiling. I swear, I'll never understand girls.

After one last kiss, something she insists on doing, I finally set my foot out the door looking like a bigger mess than when I was inside. Dropping my bag down momentarily on the mat, I hastily attempt to fix the mess done by my client.

Ugh, I have to sew on some buttons when I get back from school, great.

Pulling out a napkin, I rid myself of whatever lip mark I can on my face. Irritation builds up in me as I realize that I only manage to get some smudges out of my face. Seriously, beauty products? How? Why are you so hard to clean?

"Well, let's look at the time…"

Crap, I'm late.

Sighing, I pocket my phone back and bend down to pick my bag up. This place isn't too far from school, but it'll be wishful thinking to get there without being late.

"Oooh… Hiratsuka-sensei's gonna kill me."

"I'm so gonna kill you, Uzumaki."

See, I told you.

I have gotten used to people staring at me, but I have to admit, an angry Hiratsuka-sensei is not something I want to get used to.

My classmates are staring at me, but I mostly ignore them. Instead, most of my attention is focused on Mt Hiratsuka who looks like she's about to erupt at any second here in this classroom. Please don't do that, think of all the children here.

Somehow, through some alien women mind magic, she is able to tell that I am talking smack about her. This is shown when her glare gets even more intimidating, and her intention of wanting to deck me straight on my face is even more evident.

"Not publicly, I hope?" I ask in an inevitable attempt of struggle against my unfortunate fate.

However, it seems Lady Luck has me in her good graces today.

"Sit down. And see me after class, you'll be spending recess with me in the faculty room." She gives me one last glare before sending me off to my seat.

Wordlessly, I shrug my shoulders before hefting my bag and then making my way to my seat.

On the way there, my classmates' less than subtle staring continues to follow me until I reach my seat. I have to endure it until I finally get to sit myself down on the chair. Hiratsuka-sensei looks at me one last time, before proceeding with homeroom.

Homeroom, as expected and usual, is the epitome of high school monotony. Every darn day, the homeroom teacher will have to stand in front as start the school day up for us students. The only times when things may deviate from its routine tangent is when and if there's an announcement from the faculty.

Unfortunately, there's no such things today.

I feel buzzing in my pockets. Discreetly, I reach in to pick up the source of the disturbance. Thank god I had it on silent mode before coming into class…

From:Yui-Yuig hama

To: U.N_Owen_was_him? (1)

Subject: None

Ur laaaaate! Wut happened?

...this girl… I can't believe her…

"Eeep!"

When I finally meet face to face with the person I'm having my 'secret' conversation with, she goes all red and buries her face into her desk. If she's that afraid of being spotted, then she shouldn't have texted me in the first place.

Allowing myself a low chuckle, I text her back anyway.

From: U.N_Owen_was_him?

To: Yui-Yuig hama

Subject: None

Tired. Overslept. Talk l8tr.

Pressing the digital 'send' button, her response to my message is almost instantaneous. But rather than texting me back, she responds by making a secretive 'thumbs up' gesture from her seat.

I chuckle.

How cute.

Glancing upwards, I see the clock. Ugh, it'll be some time until homeroom's over. Not to mention, I still have to meet sensei in the faculty office, meaning I'll have my recess cut short if I'll be allowed to have any at all. Letting out a defeated sigh, it seems like today's going to be a long day.

Yeah, it is…

I'm not who everyone think I am.

The school - my classmates, the faculty and everyone in Soubu in general - believes that I'm a womanizing jerk who's also a part time delinquent when I'm not making an enemy out of all girls I meet.

Of course, that's entirely not true.

First of all, I don't 'womanize' women. Every client I've met and entertained were single… at least that's what they said. I don't beat up people for fun, but I do find it fun to beat people who beat up people for fun. But you know what? Let them think what they want, it's not like I'm a stranger to being labeled demeaningly.

Not then, not now, not ever.

Anyway, as far as people are concerned, I'm just those things and an ordinary high school boy who's living his life in the peak of his youth and adolescent.

However!

What they do not know is that…

...I'm a ninja.

Or was. Yeah. I was a ninja. Shinobi. Sadly, I'm far from being a Ninja Hattori who goes all 'nin-nin~' everytime he talks to someone. I've my own gimmick and I intend to stick with that, dattebayo. Again, the legit one. Water walking, wall walking, transforming and assassinating… you name it, I've done them all.

I'm also an immortal.

Hehe… hehe… funny story, that one.

"Do you know why I've called you here?"

Raising my head, I give my questioner an honest to god look of pure nonchalance.

"I was late to homeroom." I say, almost confidently. "What else?"

"That's only half the reason." says my homeroom teacher who has her back rested on her swivel chair. "The other reason... is this."

For whatever dramatic reason and purpose I don't know of, she stretches her sentence while pulling out a sheet of paper with a very familiar handwriting written all over it.

Now that I have a clearer view of said paper, it kind of looks familiar.

Oh, what do you know, it's my handwriting written all over that paper. With my name written on it. With-okay, you get what I mean.

"This." She's pointing at the paper as if it's an amateur Soundcloud rapper's mixtape. The poor paper. "Can you explain to me what this thing is."

Looking at it, I read the few first words written, "Personal reflection of a high school student's daily life." I say. "What about it?"

"I'm serious, Uzumaki."

"..." Her eyes don't lie. Looks like I'll have to be serious too. Crossing my arms, I lean back. "I'll rewrite the thing if I have to, sensei. But don't expect me to change a word in that paper."

It might seem like a fool's errand to challenge your lecturer. But, you see, in this case, I don't have to worry about anything… aside from the physical violence that may come with pissing Hiratsuka-sensei off.

...damn shame, she's pretty too, must be the reason why she's still single.

"...why do I feel like punching you, Uzumaki?"

Oh, right, I forgot; the alien women mind magic, right.

After her glare lessen in intensity, she opens her mouth to speak. "And why shouldn't I expect you to rewrite this piece of crap, hm?" From the way she says those words, it's as if she's challenging me.

Alright, sensei, I'm game.

"Well, sensei, it's because due to the nature of the essay itself, I am required to be as subjective as possible since the ouvre's main topic is about personal reflection."

She stares at me after hearing my short explanation. After a while, she lets out a sigh.

"You're a lazy bum, but you are one of my smartest students."

I smile. "Well thank yo-"

"It's not a praise."

Well, damn.

Waving the piece of paper in front of me, she speaks, "In any case, I'm still going to look forward for that rewrite. If I can't make you do it the proper way, then I'm just going to make it as a punishment for today's lateness."

I shrug. Hey, works for me. Besides, I've seen worst case of power abuse.

"Fine by me. So, can I go now?"

In response to my question, she leans back further on her chair's backrest. "Not so fast."

Hm?

She presses the tips of her fingers against each other as if she's some sort of B-rated movie villain. "Come back here after school, I'll give you the next half of your punishment."

I take back everything I said, this woman is a tyrant to the core.

But it's not like I haven't dealt with female tyrants in the past.

'Isn't that right, Kaguya?'

…

No reply… so it looks like Kakashi sealed her for good after all. The sealing process was rather cruel and merciless I'll admit, but it's still a little bit too much when she ends up dead.

...it doesn't explain why it made me immortal, though.

Was it because of Kaguya's divine-like status? When they sealed her into me, did it alter my physiology? If so, what happened to Kurama? It's been forever ever since I've heard his voice… I can't even go inside the seal anymore.

Hell…

I can't even use chakra anymore.

"-aruto! Oi, Naruto!"

I am snapped out from my inner thoughts.

My return to reality is greeted by the sight of a concerned Hiratsuka-sensei with worry present on her face. "Are you okay?" Even her voice mirrors her expression.

Blinking my eyes repeated to refresh them, I shrugs. "I'm fine. I wasn't kidding; I'm still sleepy." I'm not just averting her attention away from my absence, I am still sleepy.

Wasn't allowed more than three winks of sleep even if I asked last night.

Hearing my uninspired reply, the worry and concern bleeds off her face, her eyes rolling sideways as she lets out a mocking scoff. "I better not hear complaints from the teachers about you sleeping your ass off in class, Uzumaki. You hear me?"

Gee, you know that's the least of your worries sensei.

With my back already turned towards her and my right foot just outside the door, I raise a hand up with the 'OK' sign next to my head as I exit the room and then closing the door shut.

Even outside, I can hear her sighing.

Oh well, let's get back to class, English is in session.

I do not have any solid conclusion as to how I'm in this world, but whatever it is, it most likely has something to do with the sealing of Kaguya into me.

It sounded like a last ditch effort, a desperate move on our part… well, it's because it was.

We tried everything. Everything.

But even with the Sage of Six Paths' powers, Kaguya was still too much for us to handle. Our morale were drastically decreasing and despair consumed pretty much all of us. She showed us that she was able to bend reality right before our very eyes, decimating hundreds of our troops without even breaking a sweat.

That was how powerful and scary she was. Kaguya.

The losses on our side were many. Too much, if I have to say. I didn't even have time to properly grief for those who died. So with our numbers few, the rest of us being trapped inside an infinite illusion and hope waning, I proposed the plan.

The plan to stop Kaguya for good.

I remember Sakura-chan slapping me hard on the face, telling me that what I proposed was the dumbest thing that had ever came out of my mouth since forever. But deep down in our hearts, we knew that it was probably the only way to stop Kaguya.

Obito died, but not before leaving Kakashi with one final and familiar gift. Kakashi himself was against the idea. You should've seen the look on his face. I've never seen him looking more regretful than he did back then, and we hadn't even gone with the plan. Sakura was angry, mad; ready to struck me down a second time. Thankfully, it didn't get to that point.

And Sasuke.

Sasuke… he was…

He was still Sasuke.

The darkness in his eyes remained, I could sense it. He hadn't return to us. But he was still a shinobi, and a damn good one at that. You know, a part of me now wished he'd acknowledged me in the end. That I was his friend.

His brother.

But no. He was just as stuck up as the first time I met him. Bastard didn't even say anything.

…

God I miss them.

Everything was made possible mostly due to Sasuke's capability of briefly overwhelming Kaguya with his ridiculous hack of an eye, Kakashi preparing the seal, and Sakura… well, let's just say she was there in spirit. The Seal itself was a very powerful construct, rivalling that of the one implemented on me by my own father when he used it to seal Kurama to infant me.

It was only as powerful as the Reaper's Death Seal because it was an Uzumaki Clan made Fuinjutsu, as anything less couldn't compare. At that point, there weren't anyone else but the four of us to stop Kaguya and this desperate move was the only option we got in order to save our friends and ensure that the Elemental Nation was safe from being subjected to the Infinite Tsukuyomi.

However, this particular Fuinjutsu, is not as unforgiving as the Reaper's Death Seal was to its user as it only screws over the person and, or, thing it's going to be sealed on; namely me and Kaguya.

Huh, is this why dad chose the Reaper's Death Seal over that particular Seal? Because he'd rather be stuck in the eternal pits of the Shinigami's belly rather than cursing me with a mysterious and potentially devastating side effect?

...anyhow,

My Senjutsu was capable of sensing Kaguya as she was prone to open portals, Sasuke stunned her with his arsenal of Uchiha jutsu and Kakashi sealed the deal.

...quite literally, now that I think about it.

What happened next was… blank.

I couldn't remember anything past that.

Next thing I knew… I was already an immortal.

How did I know I was one?

Well, it's because I found myself at the bottom of the ocean. Alive. My lungs were literally being crushed by the pressure of the abyss as I breathlessly and frantically swam my way up to the surface.

And when I did manage to break the surface, I found myself lost and stranded on sea with no way of reaching land. My new immortal life started with me spending a full year of being stranded at sea.

I couldn't use chakra, I could not access my connection to Kurama… I was powerless. I couldn't do anything aside from letting the cruel waves carry me to wherever they wanted me to. That one year period did a lot to mind, I'll admit. I found myself hungry, but no matter how many days passed, I would not die from starvation. Even after the dangerously hazardous amount of sea water I consumed just to quench my occasional thirst, I would still not die from dehydration.

It was crippling to the soul, I'll tell you. I wanted to die, but I couldn't. So I gave up trying to drown myself, as doing so would only cause me discomfort. And the overall feeling of water surrounding my body made my very being numb.

Until one day, I was saved.

Literally.

A passing fishing ship saw me, a blonde kid in his teens, practically naked with torn clothing, floating on the ocean water with his eyes closed. They brought me on board and tried to resuscitate me… the last part wasn't quite necessary. The fishermen were surprised to even hear me breathing, just imagine the face they made when they saw me sitting back up and talking to them.

They began asking me questions in a language that I didn't understand. I was very disoriented at that time and seeing these men and with the unbearable stench of a shipping boat overwhelming not only my olfactory senses, I panicked. It took awhile for me to calm down and even after that, I still couldn't understand their language.

...but long story short, that's how I managed to find myself in 15th Century Europe, just a few decades before Christopher Columbus landed in the Americas from Spain.

And-

"So, I've heard."

...god dammit, woman, I was just getting to the good part! Now how am I gonna info-dump my way out of this chapter, huh?!

"About what?"

She glares at me, crossing her lab coat covered sleeves above her chest. "About you, who else?" She scoffs.

"So, what have you heard about me?" Good things, I hope.

"Bad things." Shit. "I heard you made a girl from year one cry last week."

Ah yes, that thing…

Hm… is she really going to give me shit for this?

"What was I supposed to do?" I ask her, rhetorically, of course. "I wasn't gonna say yes, so a 'no' was what I gave her."

Sensei glances sideways at me, but the look she's giving me is devoid of judgement; just pure curiosity.

"Let me tell you a story, sensei." I begin, speaking. "A boy has a crush on this pretty, smart but brick house of a girl who's in the same class as him."

I pause, letting the first sentence of my story sink into her mind.

"She's nice. A real sweetheart, really, but she also has the meanest right hook known to men." I find myself chuckling as I'm speaking. "One day, the boy decides to confess his so called 'love' to the girl."

Hiratsuka-sensei is walking silently, patiently waiting for me to finish this silly story of mine.

"Unfortunately, for the boy, she rejects him. Why? It's because she, herself, is in 'love' with an even better looking and smarter boy." I say, concluding my short story.

"What, that's it?" She asks me, blinking. Judging by the look, she is extremely unimpressed by my tale.

"Yup." I nonchalantly say in reply.

"What are you trying to say? That you're the girl in the story and that you have someone else you already like?"

I chuckle. "Maybe." Totally not.

Scratching the back of my head, I say again. "But, honestly, I don't just accept love confessions from random people. Especially people I don't know really well. I think that it makes…" Uh… what's the word I'm looking for here,

"I think that it cheapens the feeling of love itself."

Her expression changes to that of confusion to incredulousness. "Cheapen? That's rather cruel to the girl, don't you think?" she then asks me, "what if her feelings were real? What if she genuinely loves you?"

I shrug my shoulders. For a moment, I can't seem to find a reply to her questions.

Genuine. Being genuine means being above superficiality, possessing the claimed attributed character or quality. Real. Authentic. It also means to be free of pretense, sense of affectation and hypocrisy. Sincere.

I wonder… can it still be called genuine if you base that sensation solely from feeling?

I can tell Hiratsuka-sensei what's really on my mind, but it seems that I have developed a rather sadistic streak and I enjoy seeing her confused and clueless about what's going in my head.

So, I decide to reply ala Kakashi.

By being as cryptic as I can.

"Imagine this," I raise a finger, carrying our conversation as we walk towards our destination, "just imagine getting love confessions on the daily. What'll that make you feel?"

She makes a thinking expression as she walks, her stride decreasing to match my pace. "It'll make me feel happy, if I'm in the shoes of a teenage boy like you, that's for sure."

Hearing her answer makes me smile. I expect her to say that.

"If you're happy from that, then, good luck trying to find which one's genuine out of all those love letters."

Sure there are these things called 'love at first sight', hell, that's something even I'm familiar with. But I've realized a long time ago that those things aren't love. Yet, at least.

That spark that occurs when you see your supposed 'soulmate' isn't love just yet, and calling it love without even trying to properly understand that feeling will only be something shortsighted and immature to do.

...then again, these so called 'love at first sight' mostly happens to adolescents like the ones in this school environment.

Our conversation and my own personal musings have brought us to our destination, it seems. Hiratsuka-sensei is the first one to stop when we reach a classroom door. I recognize this area of the school as a place where all the unused classrooms are. Though calling them unused is a tad wrong, since most are used for club purposes.

Oh yeah, she brings me here for a punishment, I wonder what kind awaits.

"...I'm going to have to hold this conversation for later, right now, we're here." She nudges at the door. Then, without even the slightest hint of manners or privacy, she slides the door open, greeting herself as she lets herself in.

"Yo Yukinoshita, we're here!"

I must admit, seeing sensei barging into a room announcing herself is a bit nostalgic. If nostalgia's true to its name, whoever's inside the room will not be pleased with the sudden entry.

"Sensei… how many times do I have to tell you."

I've never heard a voice so cold coming from a teenage girl before, or maybe I have, I don't know, it's been a long time.

But, after getting a good look at the owner's face, my curiosity becomes short lived. Now, I don't indulge myself in rumors or baseless gossips regarding my peers here in school. But with how active and bustling the school's social activity is, you cannot help but listen in on things.

"Please, knock."

Icy cold.

I swear I feel the harsh arctic winds blowing past me the moment those piercing blue eyes land on us. They dance around Hiratsuka-sensei's and my own figure, almost robotically and mechanically switching between the both of us, as her avant garde brain inputs complicated calculations that will determine the possible reasoning as to why the school's most infamous violent and short fused instructor is standing alongside the school's number one casanova in front of her door.

The moment I lay my eyes on her, I instantly know who she is. Her hair, her eyes and even the air that surrounds her; there's no mistaking who she is.

...I say, but honestly, I have never really meet her before.

Uwaah, I can feel her eyes staring right through me, like, she's legit drilling holes through me.

Yukinoshita Yukino. The school's resident Ice Queen. She's one of the most notorious girls in our school, despite her antisocial nature. Sadly, this means almost all of the things people know about her are bad, though some hold true.

Being in class J of this year's second batch, a class that's only populated by the top rankers of our school and a class that's mostly got girls in it, people naturally regard her as smart and genius even; and they're right. But, however, her coldness and I quote 'razor edge tongue' leaves behind a scary impression upon students, even teachers.

As far as looks go, she is beautiful, I'll admit. Young. Slender, petite… humble as far as physique goes. Long black hair that will bring about images of ancient oriental princesses and a pair of blue eyes that will dissect your every being should they ever land themselves upon you.

Basically, what she's doing to me right this very moment.

And I can say, judging by those very eyes, she is not impressed at what she's seeing.

"Ahaha, sorry, sorry." Sensei says as she attempts to laugh off her rude entrance from earlier. She walks up to me, standing by my side. "So, this guy over here-" she then rudely nudges my left bicep, "-is looking on joining this club."

I raise two fingers.

"First of all, that's a load of bull." I pause, clearing my throat. "Second, what kind of club is this? The ghost club? Is that what we're gonna do? Solving Scooby Doo mysteries?"

Hiratsuka-sensei is going to hit me, I'm sure, but whatever it is she plans on doing to me is interrupted by the original resident of this… barren classroom.

I mean, seriously, all the tables and chairs are all set aside; purposefully leaving behind this clearing in the middle of the room with a single open table and chair for the girl to occupy. If there are anymore people here, I wouldn't have find it so strange.

"Surly manners, as expected." I can feel the chill in her voice as she seizes me up in a tundra-like glare. "I'd expect such uncivilized response from a caveman who's only sentient enough to remember children's cartoons, and it seems that idea rings true."

...not bad. I'll give it a… seven point five out of ten.

Crossing my arms, I allow the corners of my lips to stretch a little bit. "Forgive this caveman." I mock plea. "As you've said, he's only sentient enough to remember children's cartoons. The same can't be said for complicated, angst-driven and depressed Greek tragedy of an atmosphere you got going along over here, miss."

The effects are instantaneous. The look of pure DEATH that she's been giving me intensifies and for the first time ever, I get to see Yukinoshita Yukino glaring at me actively as if she's trying to scare away a stray dog.

I'm about to introduce myself to her as per decorum, but sensei just has to be a party pooper and intervene.

"Alright, alright; let me do the speaking for now okay Uzumaki?"

Meh, suit yourself.

Trying again, sensei speaks. "Yukinoshita, this is Uzumaki Naruto. I'm sure you know who he is."

But the ice girl doesn't respond. She still has her eyes fixed on me like an Olympic archer on a bullseye. I swear, if she's staring any harder, she'll see right through me; clothes, skin, organs and all.

"Yes." It's a little subdued, but she manages to reply in the end. "Yes, I know of him…" Her glare lingers, before leaving me. "Unfortunately."

Heh, cute. Three out of ten.

"Ahem. As you can see, this guy over here, is in need of a little attitude adjustment." the lab coat wearing woman standing beside me says

Oi, this is not what we agreed on! "Wait, wait, you told me that I'm here because-"

"-he's been very disruptive in class and his overall behavior is just plain terrible!"

…what? What?! I literally can't even - I can't odd either - just what the hell is this woman spouting on about? About me no less?!

I am denied speech when Yukinoshita beats me to the mark.

"I expected no less from such an uncivilized person, as I've said before." The look on the ice queen face turns from pure disdain to disappointment.

Like, just imagine the look that people who are trying to make their eggs sunny side up make when they pop the yolk.

"Okay, look-"

"He also has the gall to be tardy during lessons too."

"Unruly, uncivilized and a severe lack of discipline? I'm surprised we even allow him here."

"Hey, see-"

"And his school work, brr, you should read some of it. On second thought, don't, you'll end up regretting it."

Alright, that's it. I'm not about to let these two ladies have all the fun by making fun of me.

"Sensei."

That get both of their undivided attention on me.

You see, I've met many kinds of people in my life. Both in my old shinobi life and my life now as an ordinary immortal with no chakra. Unfortunately, but unsurprisingly, almost ninety-nine percent of those people I met are jerks. Like, jerk jerks. And despite how it might look like with the way I handle my previous nemesis, I've been running low on patience ever since… ever.

And with these, jerks, you see, come problems. And with problems come a solution to stop these problems from happening continuously.

I am a warrior at heart. A fighter, a killer. Hell, I was a fucking ninja for god's sake. So, naturally, violence is one of the things on top of my list on how to deal with unlikable people. But of course, I'm not going to go all Zabuza on these two girls for two specific reasons. One is that I can't and two, getting violent over things like this is just plain stupid.

But being scary and menacing?

Nothing wrong about that… right?

"You're pissing me off, sensei."

Sensei's playful look is washed off her face by a wave of fear. She averts her gaze away from mine, before recomposing herself. "R-Right, ahem, sorry."

I smile. "None taken." Then I direct my focus towards the original resident of this desolate room, who flinches the moment my face turns towards her. "Uzumaki Naruto from class 2-F. Although I really don't want to be here, I think I'll play along."

The smile I've directed towards her does little to change her expression. She falls into a state of silence, pensively staring at me with those beautiful eyes of hers.

"I still have my doubts about this, I'm afraid." She says straight to my face, blowing cold wind of spite. "Your reputation precedes you, and I fear for my chastity." She makes the gesture of a vulnerable woman, covering herself with both arms as far as they allow her.

This brat…

"Maa, Yukinoshita," sensei interjects, it seems like she knows my patience is running thin already. "Despite what you might have heard about Uzumaki, he's a law abiding citizen." As far as common laws, that is. "And you don't have to worry about him doing any of those things to you."

I pitch in. "She's right." I turn to look at the original resident of this empty, classroom. "I like my girls a little less cold and with an actual, warm, and beating heart thank you very much."

"Oi, you're not helping your case here."

"That's the point." That's the point, sensei. That's the fucking point.

Sensei's face shows frustration and annoyance, but that's to be expected. "In any case, Yukinoshita, he'll be a member of your club starting from today." So soon? "And the two of you will have to learn to work together from now on."

Work together? That implies the presence of an objective, a goal. I don't know this place is a clubroom at first glance, but it seems this is a legit club if Hiratsuka-sensei herself refers to it as such. No use in making fun of it now, I suppose. But, still though, what kind of club is this?

Miss Yukinoshita's face still shows uncertainty and distrust, looks like she really is wary about me. I have to admit, it hurts a little bit. I don't think I look that scary, do I?

But it seems I'll have to give credit where it's due. She gives the expression of someone who has conceded to an absolute decision made by their superior at work; she looks resigned, in other words.

"Very well." Yukinoshita sighs out, flicking away a waterfall of her gleaming black hair from her face. "But I will not hesitate to defend myself should he succumb to his primitive urges."

Still going on with this caveman thing, huh?

"Understandable." It's worrying to me how quickly and easily sensei agrees with Yukinoshita's condition. She also gives her an approving look. Ooh, scary, scary.

Sensei then turns toward me, spreading her arms apart in a 'voila!' motion. "Well there you have it, Uzumaki, you're a part of this merry little club now." She reminds me of Shrek, minus the ugly and being green skinned part. "Hopefully, Yukinoshita over there will be able to fix that poisonous attitude of yours."

"Wait, sensei," Yukinoshita intercepts, "why are you leaving all this work to me?"

Sensei gives her a weird look, one of her eyebrows raised. "Because he's here as a client, duh." She then hums. "Then again, he's also a member now too. Looks like the two of you will have to come up with something together." She makes her way towards the door as she's saying this. "Uzumaki, I hope that you'll be able to get along with Yukinoshita well. And Yukinoshita, don't hesitate to do what you have to do if he ever sinks his claws into you."

And just like that, she exits the room, leaving the both of us here alone together.

The draft that rushes into the room when sensei opens the door quickly dies down, much like how quickly the air is getting unbearable because none of us are willing to strike up a conversation.

This is to be expected, we're practically brought together like this against our own will. Me especially. However, I wonder about her. It seems like she shows no actual signs of protest or opposition barring matters related to her personal security and me being a trash of a human being. Is Hiratsuka-sensei some sort of advisor to this 'club'? If so, then that will explain why she easily vetoed Yukinoshita's decisions.

And that brings up my earlier question. Just what kind of club is this? Yukinoshita's practically the only member before I got roped up into this, and as far as I recall, there's a minimum requirement of four members to start up a club of some sort.

Hmm… I smell that smelly smell, that smelly smell that smells… smelly. (2)

I'm sitting here on my chair with nothing but my uniform and the phone in my pocket, while she's there sitting on her own corner with the company of a book.

A good book too, I might add.

"Is that the English version or a local one?"

My question instant draws her attention away from the book to me. Her gaze is fixed entirely on me, showing hints of curiosity herself. Unlike me, I'm not asking for the sake of sating my own curiosity. I want to break the ice.

"A localized Japanese translation from the bookstore downtown." She flips the book to show me the written Kanji covering the book's opened pages. Tilting her head in a manner that reminds of a feline creature, she asks, "why do you ask?"

I chuckle. Her looks basically says 'you don't look like the type of person who's even remotely literate so why bother asking'. I'd be offended, but I'm not. For some reason.

"Just asking." I say to her, my smirk slowly disappearing. "So, why would a perfectly well mannered and well raised young lady such as you read a book like that?"

She frowns. Obviously, she doesn't find the pleasantries… pleasant. But, in the end, she entertains my question anyway. "Why? Is there a problem with my reading material?"

"Oh no." I shrug. "I'm just asking."

Although I can't say for sure, the book she's currently reading isn't a very common choice amongst adolescent Japanese readers around her age. Again, I can't say for sure. Localized English books are getting more common in Japan over the past decade, it certainly does a remarkable job at exposing the Japanese with foreign media; even if local Japanese media still reign supreme. So, I suppose, it is getting fairly easier to get western books in your normal book store.

But, still… the sight of Yukinoshita Yukino reading American Psycho is disturbing to me.

"If you're concerned about the content and the message that this book carries, don't be. In fact, why are you even concerned at all?"

"I told you, I'm not." Sheesh. This chick is so full of herself.

"Really?" Again, the way she asks. It's as if she's prodding me with a piece of iron stake, waiting for me to burst. "I have been warned and heard of your very… delicate methods in sinking your claws into young fair maidens such as myself. Is this not an, albeit poorly done, obvious attempt on doing that?"

…

"...have someone ever told you that you're insufferable?" I ask, all goodness and pleasantries dropping off my voice. "That you're… stuck up?"

She makes a noise I do not expect her to make. Snorting in what seems to be amusement, the black haired girl gives me a small and surprisingly vexing smile.

"You are exactly the forty seventh person to have ever called me that in my life, Uzumaki-kun."

"Whew, good thing I'm not the first one." I roll my eyes. "Wouldn't want to win a prize for that award."

Hearing that, her first reaction is to keep on smiling, as if she has just heard a funny short lived joke that most stand up comedians are only capable of making these days. Turning a page of her book, she tucks a part of her hair behind her ear, while straightening her back on her chair. Her lips straighten back into the thin, stoic and reserved line that people are more familiar with.

Pretty much the rest of our 'club' period goes on like this. She sits there sipping tea and reading her book, while I'm in my own little corner focused with the only thing that's keeping me from going crazy from all the boredom, my phone.

I have a feeling that things are beginning to get… weird from now on.

"Let's play a game shall we, Uzumaki-kun?" With a tilt of her head and her young, smooth, soprano voice… I'm almost attempted to call jailbait, then I remember that I'm supposed to be the same age as her.

And technically… pretty much everyone in existence right now is jailbait to me.

By the way, today's a new day. Meaning this is my second day in this 'yet to be identified' club.

Ditching my internal dilemma, I respond to her suggestion, seeing as there's nothing to do. "Sure. What'll we be playing? Jenga? UNO? Chess?" I wiggle my eyebrows with every games I mention.

"No. We won't be playing anything practical." She dismisses any attempt of humor and lightheartedness coming from me. "Instead, we'll be using our heads for most of the part."

"Sure, lay it on me, Keanu."

She sends me a confused look, but lays it on me, nonetheless.

"It's a guessing game. If you can guess what club this is then… you win."

...what?

I frown, making sure that Yukinoshita is able to see the displeased expression on my face. "That's it? A guessing game?"

"Yes." She says, all smiles. "A guessing game."

A guessing game? Seriously? And here I am expecting real entertainment. You see, I don't mind spending time doing nothing. In fact, I'll say that it's quite an enjoyable thing to do - thanks Shikamaru, looks like your lazy ass stuck with me throughout all the years - but that's beside the point.

"Ara, you look disappointed, Uzumaki-kun."

I click my tongue, rolling my eyes sideways. "Disappointed, sure. But not surprised." I stretch my arms sideways, letting a few of my bones pop. Nothing's wrong with the sight of it, since today's technically T-pose Tuesday. "I wasn't exactly expecting entertainment when Hiratsuka-sensei dragged me here. But what the hell, I'll bite."

So, what exactly is this club I'm part of?

Looking around, this empty room isn't doing a very good job in telling me the type of club it's associated with. An empty room with little to no furnishing at all and one, lonely, girl as its original member. The second thing that comes to my mind was the probability of this club of Yukinoshita being new. I mean, it's not that far fetched, is it? She is the only member until recently, after all.

Doing nothing but reading books and drinking tea, what is this, the SOS Brigade?

Oh God, I hope I'm wrong about that one, I don't want to imagine what will happen if Yukinoshita has a certain brigade leader's enthusiasm. (3)

...but I'm not seeing any esper, alien or time travelers around. Phew. (4)

There's no music instrument here either, and again, aside from the fact that we're enjoying tea - something she has yet to serve me by the way, rude - I don't see anything that can label this place as your standard Japanese high school club.

So, after thinking about it long and hard - giggity - I give up.

"Meh, no clue."

Yukinoshita sighs in disappointment. "Not even trying. I'm not sure if that's a positive mental attitude we'd like to have in this club, Uzumaki-kun."

She keeps on finding new ways to push my buttons, doesn't she?

"Well, let me enlighten your primitive, cave-dwelling mind then, Uzumaki-kun."

Again with the caveman thing!

Standing up, she takes in air. "This is the Service Club. A club dedicate to, you guessed it, services."

…

…

…

"...what kind of services are we talking about here?" This sounds suspiciously similar to the dating services I've worked for in the past.

She throws a harsh and disapproving glare at me, capable of detecting the underlying euphemism within my question.

"Nothing of that sort mind you, get your mind out of the gutter please Uzumaki-kun." She clears her throat, resuming speaking. "We attend to our clients' request with the promise of helping them should the situation requires it. Think of counseling rather than deranged acts of debauchery, you dirty ape."

Damn, she reminds me of the old Kurama there when he was still an ass to me.

...god I miss him.

"So, basically, we're the real life version of the student council from Medaka Box…" Just not as exciting and violent, and with a much more stuck up and meaner president.

"Who?"

"Nothing." I said quickly, coughing to an open palm. "So, requests, I assume that our clients will be our dearest friends and classmates from the student body?"

She nods in affirmation to my question. "Naturally, but we'll get to that more later. Now, I have a question for you, Uzumaki-kun." Oh ya?

She's doing this club president role pretty well, so far. She reminds me of the way my handler handled my job interview. Distant, yet not disconnected. She made it so that we are both exchanging conversations rather than making things one sided, which means she has a certain grasp of my character or behavior to a certain extent.

"Shoot." I give her the a-okay.

"Do you have any friends?"

...hah?

Is this chick serious? Why on earth is she asking me a borderline offensive question like that to a fuccboi like me?

Of course I have friends!

"Yes." I answer her with the straightest voice I can muster.

"Really?" Oi, what's with that tone, huh? "Ah, I'm talking about people who aren't threatened into becoming friends with you."

"I never threatened anyone." I bristle, my voice rising a few decibels high. Seeing the satisfied look on her face, I realize that I was baited. God damn it, I'll let you have this one, woman. "But, yes, I have friends." I gotta come up with something good… c'mon, think, Naruto!

"What about you, someone as pretty as you surely has or has had friends before, right?"

"Fuh." That damned smile… that damned freaking smile… "That depends." She places a palm on her modest chest, making herself look like some sort of Angelic visage. But I'm no fool. She's a fallen angel, if anything. "First, define how close or distant someone has to be in order to be labeled as-"

"Okay stop right there." I raise my hand, halting the black haired girl from speaking. "See, that right there, is something only someone with no friends would say."

You can certainly quote me on that one.

"You look like the type of girl who'll have her own fan club fawning over you." She's certainly a pleasant person, as far as looks go anyway. "So why isn't that so, pray tell?"

Her smile thins down upon my question. That silent arctic pensiveness returns on her features as she has me fixed on her sight.

Then-

"You see, I have always been a beautiful girl."

Uwaaah… such arrogance and pretentiousness will normally annoy me, but I'm more creeped out and disgusted than anything. She's beautiful, alright, but the words that are coming out of her mouth aren't. Her lips curl into a beatific smile, enchanting honestly.

But no matter how beautiful a rose is, you won't be able to hide the thorns.

"Boys have always liked me, and girls envy me." She proceeds to continue with her soapy moments, "It is precisely because of this that I have no friends."

...I guess I can see where she is coming from? I can see it, but I can never relate to it.

Those born with positive traits, whether it's good intelligence or looks, will always attract a… an unreasonable bunch along the way. I've seen the same drama and scenario play out through various periods of history, sometimes, I even remind myself that this ugly… reaction is exactly what make humans… humans.

Her situation isn't something I'm unfamiliar with, but I can tell that it has done its ways to shape her into the person she is now. Unreasonably good looks, the intelligence to back it up… been there, done that. I'm willing to bet that she has some sort of sibling complex too.

Yukinoshita continues, "if people had genuinely liked me… maybe I would have had people to call friends."

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since I was in elementary, my indoor shoes were hidden sixty times. Fifty of those times were done by girls the same age as me." She hides her hands behind her back, taking on a new pose. "This resulted in me having to bring home my indoor shoes and recorder every time I went home." A sigh is released courtesy of Yukinoshita.

"Pretty tough for a kid." As far as bullying goes, I've seen worse. Experienced worse, too.

"Indeed." Her pensive expression turns sincere, faintly showing signs of visible hurt and regret. "It was truly a tough experience to go through." Then, that smile appears again. "All because I'm beautiful."

"...I demand refund for every bit of sympathy I feel for you up until this point."

Rather than answering me, she ignores my presence altogether, choosing to continue speaking.

"Alas, there's nothing I can do about that. Nobody's perfect. Everyone is weak and unsightly in their own twisted and crooked ways. Things like jealousy and envy easily influence them and others have to suffer as an outlet of their inability to keep their emotions at reign. Weirdly, though, the greater the person, the more they suffer."

I can respect her for saying all of this. She's not afraid to acknowledge that humans, people in general, can be assholes even to those who aren't assholes to them. The old, naive and younger me would surely retort and give her a piece of his mind; but the current me standing right here in front of this girl cannot help but agree with her.

Yet at the same time, he also disagrees with her.

"Isn't that just… wrong?" The normally quiet and reserved girl looks out the window, her eyes lost in the clouds, left to wander. "That's why I'm going to change it all. The world and the people in it."

…

"...heh, that's a big job for a little girl like you."

"Hn. Size nor stature never mattered for those with big ambitions." She retorts, her voice completely calm. "Great men and women, naturally, are driven by even greater ambitions. In return, they will face problems greater than the common person can ever hope to imagine."

This girl…

"That's why-"

Let's test her, shall we?

"You will do that?"

She looks at me, startled by the emptiness of my voice. "Will you? Working hard for change, even knowing that things wouldn't change, struggling, sweating, crying, bleeding… all in the name of change… will you seriously do that?"

She appears… shocked, startled. Her naive eyes blinked at me with the purity of a newborn babe, blindsided by the wall of her own perceived reality.

"Y-Yes, I will." Recomposing yourself has never been so hard, hasn't it, Yukinoshita? I sense hesitation in her voice, but she's careful enough to make herself sound convincing.

"Even if it means doing things that'll make you sick and want to throw up, even if it means compromising the very way of life you're living…"

I need to know if she's willing.

"...and even if it means seeing those close to you hurt or burdened by your ambition… would you still strive for this so called change?"

Now, things are becoming clearer.

Hesitation, doubt and uncertainty begins to surface. I can tell that she has lost all feelings of confidence and determination already. Her face is now a fragile mask of bravado, plagued with the aforementioned things I've mentioned.

As expected, the natural way for her to respond to my pressure is to switch to the defensive.

"It is surely a better goal than to sit idly and sulking as if the world is about to end at any given moment."

Is that an attempt to jab at me or what?

"I hate people who accept their weakness and affirm it."

A flightless bird can only ever dream of flight; looking longingly, envily and dreamily upon the boundless sky that seems to be way out of their reach. Yukinoshita suffers in a dissimilar way, cursed with the gift of flight and turbulence that comes with it.

It might have been easier for her to ignore those turbulences and live on as she is, but she is simply isn't content with that.

Her pride won't allow it.

As someone who has had his shot at making change, I want nothing more than to impart her with whatever little snippets of wisdom I have gathered in the past. Yet at the same time, I do not want her to be discouraged by my failures.

So, to you, I say this:

Girl, the world is a big place. Simply trying won't do you any good. A whole lot of problems are bound to greet you in the future, regardless of big or small. While this dream of yours is a beautiful dream, know that it is a dream you share with people you might have never met before.

I can only hope that you realize this, Yukinoshita.

I really hope.

"...endure."

"What was that, Uzumaki-kun?"

I breathe in.

Breathe out.

"...nothing." I say, stretching my arms sideways, cracking my joints in the process. "Hey, Yukinoshita?"

"Hm?"

"Do you want to be frie-"

"No."

Rejected. Disappointed, but not surprised.

It's the second day of me being a part of this club and Hiratsuka-sensei hasn't said anything, even outside of club activity, she never once approaches me to ask how things are going. Which is strange, since she's the one who dragged me into this place in the first place. But if I know my homeroom teacher well, it's because she's still trying to get a read of the situation.

As calculative and perceptive she might be, she's surely considered the cons of putting together a quiet, merciless, cold as hell Ice Queen of a girl and a charming, questionably violent, allegedly playboy of a dude in the same room hasn't she? I suppose it's done out of worry for us. Hiratsuka-sensei is still a teacher of Soubu, after all. Though I may not agree with how she handle things, I know full well that her heart is at the right place.

But experience has told me a lot about people whose hearts are in the right place… and that, most of the time, they - themselves - aren't.

Just because your conscience is good, doesn't mean that the environment you're at is. In fact, I say that it's like that with most cases. Good people are only 'good' when they're distinguishable from the less likable people around them, at least that way, they themselves - or others - can be labeled as good.

While I'm not saying that there aren't genuinely good people out there, I am implying that the concept of an honest to god 'good' Samaritan is… quite rare in this day and age. Deep down inside, people are only 'good' for the sake of looking good, not doing good. I'm not saying that it's wrong wanting to 'look' good, it's quite the opposite.

There's nothing wrong in looking good, but it's a plus if people are doing good for the sake of doing good itself.

Although I understand why people would choose the former… it certainly is easier to look the part, rather than doing it…

But my moral alignment aside, this brings up a 'good' question.

Is what Yukinoshita Yukino doing a 'good thing'?

Is… her dream, ambition, to change others - and the world ultimately - generally a good thing?

Well, it depends.

But as far as a cringey school life goes, I'll say that it's good.

The sliding open of the club room's door draw our attention to it, our eyes flickering and darting towards the only entrance and exit to this room… unless you count the windows too.

"H-Hello… Hiratsuka-sensei told me that there're people here who co- w-wait, M-Maki?!"

Oho, looks like words travel fast.

Raising a hand, I flash our guest a smile. "Yo, Yui."

The girl standing underneath the door frame is none other than Yuigahama Yui, one of the girls here in Soubu who talks to me occasionally and not only for the sake of wanting to hook up. Hell, I'll even call her my friend since we do share each other's contact information.

A bright, bubbly and energetic lass with… um… two huge personalities if you know what I mean? The type of gal' who'll get along with anyone and everyone easily if they ever allow her to, honestly. Personally, I find her to be sweet and genuinely pleasing to be around. Although she can get a little bit too loud sometimes.

Yes, I - the infamous troublemaker and prankster loudmouth - find her to be annoying from time to time.

Let's see… what else, what else…

She's quite the looker too, I'll tell you. In a completely different manner than Yukinoshita. But I guess, and I'm sure a lot of guys will agree with me here, her personality is a huge part of her charm. And she's quite fun and adorable to tease, I suppose.

Hair dyed in pink in a way that doesn't really remind of a certain someone from my old life - obvious sarcasm is obvious- it seems she's one of the few rare cases who's able to slip past Soubu's strict uniform and appearance rule. Although I'm sure that the prefects have had the pleasure of scolding her in the past before.

All in all, Yuigahama Yui's a… err… nice girl. Both in looks and character. She's a good girl. Oh yes indeed.

"U-Uwaaah… Maki, you're giving me one of those looks…" It's hard to say, but she's both embarrassed and disgusted at the same time, make up your goddamn mind girl!

"Uzumaki-kun, even if she's someone whom you have had the pleasure of knowing, it does not mean that you are obligated or even allowed to look at her with your animalistic and deviant eyes."

Sending the latter girl a glare, I say, "Oi, stop it with the insults will you? You're making us look bad in front of our client here."

"Correction. I am making you look bad in front of our client."

Don't sound so damn proud while saying that, woman.

Bitchiness aside, Yukinoshita finally puts on her club president act and regards our client of the day. Coughing to her fist, she introduces herself.

"A pleasure to meet you. You must be Yuigahama Yui-san from class 2-F, no? The same class as this troglodyte?

"Oi."

"If that's the case, then I'd like to apologize. I know it must be hard and shameful having to spend the rest of your second year in the same class as this neanderthal."

"Why do you sound like you're actually sorry for that, huh?!"

"E-Eh… urm… yes." Yui responds, shyly. I suppose Yukinoshita's just that scary of a girl to even intimidate outgoing people like Yui. "How do you know my name?"

"Yeah, president, how do you know her name?" I egg on, smirking while keeping my arms crossed.

"Unlike a certain blonde haired caveman with his pea-sized brain, I made an effort to at least know some people from the other classes."

But I am quick to the draw. "If by effort you mean asking the teachers for the other classes' attendance list instead of going around asking for people's names yourself, then sure. Some effort you put there."

Rather than biting into my bait, she counters in a composed manner, "Effort does not always equal physical exertion, Uzumaki-kun. Although I understand if you do not know."

...okay, that's pretty good.

"...pft…!"

Eh?

With our heads swivelling towards the direction of contained laughter, both Yukinoshita and I get an eyeful of Yui who's trying her best to not burst out laughing. This pisses me off for some reason.

"If you wanna laugh, just laugh goddamnit!" I point a righteous finger at the pink haired bimbo, glaring while gnashing my teeth.

"Haha! I-It's just… hahaha… huff… it's just…!" She's hunched over forward, clutching her stomach as if she's just watched the entire season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine while trying to hold in her laughter but ends up failing. "Maki, you're totes, like, enjoying yourself here!"

...eh?

Eeeeeeh?

Do I really look like I'm enjoying myself? Does being here and getting continuously assaulted by Yukinoshita's merciless remarks enjoyable for me? If so, then I must be some sort of twisted masochist.

"And, like, since when are you a member of a club?" Yui asks, finally regaining her bearings and no longer laughing. "Ah, is this why I haven't seen you around after school lately?"

Sighing, it seems like I've given her less credit than what she deserves. This girl can be perceptive at the most impeccable moments.

"Yeah, you're right." I spread my arms apart in a 'ta-da' manner. "I've been stuck here after school's over ever since yesterday, if someone would oh so kindly rescue me from this prison that'd be great, thanks."

Rather than skinning me alive, Yukinoshita settles for a piercing glare that can normally send a normal person into catatonic shock, but I'm anything but normal.

"So, Yuigahama-san." It seems she also settles on ignoring me. Fine by me. "How may we help you?"

"A-Ah, you see…"

And so-

-here we are in the Home Economics room. Might seem strange to those unfamiliar with, but our school does have these types of extra curricular lessons. Here, we mostly cook food. Yes, you hear me right. Although the lesson is not so often, we do learn how to cook stuffs here.

Just simple stuffs, mostly. Ranging from your home-cooked, traditional Japanese style breakfast and several easy to make western dishes.

I enjoy H.E class.

"Look, Yukinoshita, I say we bail. Right. Now."

But… unfortunately, just because you enjoy something, doesn't mean that you're good at it.

This is exceptionally true for Yui.

With me pinning her against the wall in the infamous 'Kabedon' position, she has all legal rights to put a restraining order on me if she wants to, but this isn't the case.

"W-What do you mean, Uzumaki-kun?" I'm sorry, I know it's hard to breathe, but bear with me here. "A-And… um… y-you're too close…"

"Bear with me here." I hold my breath, releasing them shortly after. "Look, we can't allow Yui to cook."

Yukinoshita, still flushed from the proximity of our bodies, does a poor attempt to recompose herself. "O-Oh? And why's that?"

"Yui's a terrible cook." I say, my voice dead serious. "The last time she cooked for someone is during Home Economics class two weeks ago."

"S-So?"

"Everyone who was in her group had to be sent to the hospital from food poisoning." I stresses out, hissing and making sure to keep my voice to a minimum. "And she's technically banned from entering here, but since this is club activity, we can't help it."

She shifts on her spot, her right hand is in front of her chest; taking up a defensive stance. "I-Is that so… by the way, you're so close right now, i-is this necessary?"

"I don't wanna her to hear us while she's busy getting the ingredients ready."

Speaking of the ditz, she's over there at the other end of the room searching for ingredients.

"O-Oh…" Coughing to her fist, Yukinoshita tries but fails to look me straight in the eyes. "Then… er… how do you suppose we do this? Not letting her make the cookies would be cruel."

I finally pushed myself off the wall, ultimately giving Yukinoshita the much needed space she needs. Scratching my chin, I begin contemplating.

"We can't let her bake on her own, that's for sure… but I don't think things'll turn good even with our supervision." I grimace.

I begin to see the look of worry surface on the Ice Queen's face. "I-Is she that bad?"

"That bad." I pause. "Worse if we're talking about real food."

The two of us swivel our heads towards the pink haired girl, who's just about done gathering the needed ingredients in order to make the cookies. Giving Yukinoshita one last look, I say,

"If she plans on giving those cookies to someone, I pity the poor soul who'll have to accept them."

"What makes you so sure that they'll even accept the cookies in the first place?"

Sighing, I chuckle hollowly. "Girls like Yui rank third in the 'Things Uzumaki Naruto Finds Scary' index."

"...what is with that awfully ridiculous na-"

But I ignore her. "Her type of girls are dangerously lethal to adolescent young boys, much like the students here in Soubu. They strike where it's obvious, effectively so…" I muse, drawing in every single bit of spite inside of me. "Yet, at the same time, there's a high chance they're oblivious to everything they do. Like fire to a moth, I suppose."

I can feel Yukinoshita staring at me, giving me a look which indicates that she's currently reading me. Then, she says, "Speaking from experience?"

Glancing towards her, I smile. "Like many things in life."

Her stare lingers at me, and I can confirm that she has been trying to get a read of me up until now. She's free to try, but sorry girly, this old man's not so easy to crack.

"Hey guys!" Yui calls out to us, waving for our attention. "I've prepared everything! Let's start already!"

"Welp," I mutter, rolling my shoulders before pulling out an apron which I have kept folded inside my pocket, "let's just see how this goes… but make sure to have a couple extra batches ready, just in case."

With that said, I give Yukinoshita a reassuring smirk.

"I cannot believe this is even possible."

"I know it's possible, but I still can't believe I was right."

"...uuuu… you guys are so mean…"

Ignoring the pink haired girl who appears to be on the verge of tears, we stare at the hazardous concoction of what used to be baking ingredients placed on the tray laid on top of the serving counter. From the way Yukinoshita's looking at the thing, I can say that I'm probably the second most offensive thing to her at this very moment.

The cookies that we are supposed to make turns out to be a batch of completely irredeemable, inedible and downright repulsive cookies. If they can be called cookies.

Uwaaah… I swear it's radioactive. Where did I put my Geiger counter…?

They're completely black in color, like, vantablack black yet it's... emitting this strange glow at the same time. Anyone with a decent head on their shoulders will definitely think that these… things… aren't safe for consumption.

"Wait a moment," I place a palm over my mouth, making gagging gestures, "okay, I'm fine… just about to lose my lunch there."

"You're mean! You're mean! You're so mean Maki!" Yui comes up rushing at me and proceeds to hit me multiple times on my chest with her fists. It doesn't hurt, just, annoying.

Using a pair of thongs, Yukinoshita lifts up the failed experiment with the cautiousness and dexterity of a nuclear disposal scientist.

"I… think it's best to let me and Uzumaki-kun handle the next few batches of cookies, Yuigahama-san."

"O-Okay…" Getting upset won't change the fact that your cookies are inedible, Yui. "But can you bake, Maki? I know you can cook…"

I interrupt her, cutting her off with the politeness of a swearing nun. "Of course I can! In fact, " pulling out my phone, I browse it for a few minutes, before showing the two girls a picture, "I'm a certified baker!"

"Whoa! Y-You're dressed in a chef's uniform and all!" Yui all but gushes, her face turning into the same color of her hair. "When and where is this?!"

"I helped out in several bakeries and pastry shops nearby." I say, letting the girls take a gander at the picture on my phone.

It's a picture of me dressed in a chef's uniform along several kitchen staffs, posing for a picture. Aside from that, there's really nothing to say.

"Most compensated me for the work I did, and I was happy to help. Win-win situation at its finest."

"Interesting." Wow, even Yukinoshita is impressed. I guess this is the closest I'll ever come to making her praise me. "Well, let us see if that uniform is just for show or not, shall we?"

Oh it's on like Donkey Kong, sister.

When it comes to baking, there are two important things that you need to consider before you even start baking. One, and probably the most important out of the two, is the oven. Please, for the love of every pastry chefs out there in the world, preheat your oven. You don't want to bake something while oven's still cold, it's just inefficient and you'll screw up even the most basic of recipes. And two, scale your ingredients. Whether you're using standardized measurements or any local variations, please make it a necessity to scale your ingredients. Unless we're talking about inclusions, in that case, let yourself loose within reasons.

Once you've preheated your oven and have your mise en place ready, it's time to make the food itself. Since we're just making cookies here, it should be simple… or maaaaaybe not so much for Yui.

So, ahem, basic cookies. We're doing a simple and traditional rolled cut cookies. It can't be any simpler, ladies and gentlemen… yet here we are, in the aftermath of failure.

"Oh would you stop giving me that look already, Maki?!"

So, ingredients, just your standard stuff. Flour, eggs, sugar, vanilla essence, butter and the necessary leavening agent ; in this case, baking powder. Save up your time and spare yourself from having to clean more bowls by measuring using a cup or measuring spoons. But since we're not lazy people and a scale is the only thing we have for measurement in this room, combine the dry ingredients together into one big bowl. This means putting your flour and baking powder in the same bowl, they're dry ingredients.

So first step is to cream your butter together with your sugar. In the business, this is known simply as the creaming method. Most cookie recipes call for this one method because it's the simplest and safest way to achieve a consistent result of cookies, provided if you don't screw up the baking process later on.

When you're beating the butter and sugar together, you're quickly aerating the butter while slowly evenly distributing the sugar. But, remember, don't over-beat or over-whip your butter; in fact, don't whip it, that is only reserved for creams and meringues.

Or in Yui's case, you might as well use a drill with a whisk attachment on.

"Why do I feel like you're talking smack about me while you're baking, Maki?" Well, she has good intuition for once.

Once the butter is light in color and fluffy in texture, it's time to add the liquids. In this case, our eggs and essence. I guess you can add milk or whatever in it too, but that's not what we're going to do today. You can, of course, combine your essence and eggs and beat them together to save time during the mise en place stage, but that is up to your preference and time conserving policies. But I did it. Why not?

Slowly pour in your eggs if you've beat them together with the essence like mine, or do it one yolk at a time and then add in the essence. But, again, be careful in whisking. You're making cookies, not trying to revive your dead cat. Once all the eggs and the fluffy butter and sugar mixture are combined, you should end up in something looking like slurry in visual. Wet to the touch, but it maintains its shape.

Next, add in your flour and dry ingredients. But slowly. I cannot stress you how important it is to slowly add in your flour. One, you'll make a mess of your working station if you just dump in all of the flour at once. And, two, you might just decide to add in a little bit less flour than the recipe requires - which is sometimes the case - so use your eyes to judge.

Now, ditch the whisk and grab a rubber or plastic spatula; or use a wooden spoon if you're brave enough. Fold in the flour into the butter, meaning you want to slowly cover the butter and egg mixture with the spatula. The air that you've incorporated into the butter during the creaming process is fragile, so try not to ruin the volume by having a rave concert while you're folding in the ingredients.

Take your time and once everything is combined into one solid dough, you can move on to your work surface. Which, I'm sure, you've covered in a little bit of flour.

Depending on the amount of flour you're using, the dough's should at least be firm enough to be played around. Cookie dough is, after all, the adult's play doh.

At this stage, you can do two things.

You can cool the dough inside a chiller to let it firm up and making the rolling process easier, but consume more waiting time. Or you can just carefully roll the dough out and proceed to the cutting process.

Or you can be like me and do what I'm about to do now.

"Hey, uh, Yukinoshita?" I walk over to the working girl with a wrapped down in hand.

"What is it?" She doesn't even bother looking up from her task, which is good in practice but bad in mannerism.

"Can you hold this dough close to your chest for me?"

She immediately stops whatever it is she's doing, looking at me in confusion. "Why?"

I hand her the dough and say, "Oh, I'm just using your cold, cold heart to chill my dou-OI! DON'T THROW THE DOUGH BACK AT ME WOMAN!"

Well, I tried, so onto plan B. The freezer.

Just pop it in there for ten minutes and your dough should be firm enough to handle. And, yeah, that's the case here. Once it's firm enough, I bring it back to my work surface for rolling. Flouring a wooden rolling pin, I begin rolling out the dough. You're just going to want to roll the dough thin enough, not too thin. Use the thickness of your pinky finger, if it helps.

"Yui, what shape do you want?" I ask our client while simultaneously holding up a small case filled with cookie cutters of various shapes.

"Let's see…" the girl walks up towards me to examine the cutters. "Aha! These star shaped ones are cute! But the hearts aren't so bad either… wait, what's this one? Oh gosh, they're shaped like dogs!"

"Just choose one already."

"Muu… you don't have to hurry me like that." Pouting won't do you anything here, girly. "But I guess… the h-heart shaped ones are... mumble… mumble…"

"Okay, the heart shaped ones it is." I don't bother asking her again.

So, once you have your dough rolled out, just cut them with whatever mold you desire. I'm using the heart shaped once since Yui wants it that way.

"Ne, Maki?"

"Hm?"

"Can I help?"

"..."

"Oh c'mon, it's just cutting the cookies!"

"Okay, sure." But I'm saying this with hesitation, ladies and gentlemen.

"Yay!"

Letting Yui cut the cookies, I begin prepping the baking tray. Now, if you're like us and don't have a cooking spray at hand, you can use the butter to grease the tray's surface to prevent sticking.

"Maki, I'm done!" Yui calls out to me, finally finished with the cutting.

"Good, now lift up the cookies and place them on the tray. Make sure to give them enough space to let the heat distribute evenly."

"'Kay!"

I suppose letting her do this step is safe too, I mean, there's no real cooking involved in it anyway. Once done, we walk towards our preheated 200 degree celsius oven and place the tray in the middle of the oven.

"How long are these supposed to bake, Maki?"

"Around six to eight minutes. Depends." I shrug. "Maybe it'll take a shorter time to cook, or longer. But, hey, that's you cooking right there."

Setting my timer, I am approached by Yukinoshita who's carrying her own batch of unbaked cookies.

"Do we have enough room inside the oven?" She asks while carrying the cookie filled tray. Weirdly, she's showing signs of struggle. What, is that tray really that heavy for you?

"We do." I say, offering my hand to her. "Let me place it inside, go sit down or something. You look like you've taken the entire city of Chiba and pushed it somewhere else." (5)

"What?"

Oh, she doesn't get the reference. Balls. "Nevermind." Holding her tray, I open the oven door and place Yukinoshita's tray next to mine. "What's your ETA?"

"Six minutes."

"Same time as mine then, neat." Crossing my arms, I begin untying the half apron that we're all wearing ever since the moment we started baking. "Well, all that's left is to wait for the cookies to finish baking. Now, Yui, is there anything else we can help you with?"

But before Yui can say anything, Yukinoshita speaks first. "I'm surprised you are being so helpful, Uzumaki-kun. I was not aware you're capable of such things."

Levelling the black haired club president a mild glare, a frown forms on my face. "She is a client, our client." Walking over to the counter where Yui's… uh… 'cookies' are, I prop my hands on the surface. "I'm already dragged into the club far enough as it is, don't see any reason to do things half-assedly."

Picking up one of the burnt, coal-like, and definitely lethal cookies, I take a bite.

Oh god…

It's like… it's like eating charcoal straight from the bag.

Once you've taste poison, you might as well finish the meal. That way, you'll make as fine a dish as any. (6)

Not long later, the cookies are done. And it is time for test tasting.

Naturally, Yui gets to go first. She takes one of mine and Yukinoshita's cookies, testing them in order.

"Hmm~! This is so good Maki! I never knew you could bake this good!" She looks happy enough, looks like it's better than I expected. But still, it's such a simple recipe. "And yours too, Yukinon! I like the cinnamon flavor you used!"

"Y-Yukinon…?"

Looks like Yukinoshita needs to get used to her new nickname. Yui's very fond of giving nicknames to people, trust me, I know. I've been 'Maki' ever since Yui and I met.

"You'll get used to it." Even after I say that, it still doesn't stop Yukinoshita from giving me a dubious stare. "Anyhow, Yui, here are your cookies. What're you going to do now?"

Scratching her chin with the edge of her nail, my classmate puts on a rare thinking look.

"I'll keep them." She says, after a few seconds of thinking. "I took down some notes while you guys were baking earlier and mama and papa will definitely enjoy the cookies you guys made."

Well, as long as they don't end up as a waste, I'm fine with it. Looks like Yukinoshita's fine too. And I manage to get a sample of her cookies before; Yui's right, they are delicious.

"Then, I suppose, this marks the end of your request; Yuigahama-san?" asks the black haired club president, folding her apron neatly to pack later on.

"Yup! But… eh…" Somehow, she's back to looking unsure. Nervous, even. Looking at the first batch of cookies she'd made herself, a frown forms on my pink haired classmate's face. "I guess those are a fail, huh?"

"Well, duh." What, why're you both glaring at me like that? Sighing, I scratch the back of my head. "But, if you must know, Yui… boys are simple creatures. As long as it's from a girl, they'll be happy." I pause. "Even if they're consuming potentially hazardous food." A smile. "I'm sure they'll still be happy."

"Moou! I'm gonna cry if you keep on saying that!"

But, to my credit, she doesn't.

After spending the entire evening helping Yui make a decent batch of cookies on her own, Yukinoshita and I return to our club room.

While I am busy tidying up my things into my bag, the only other person in the room breaks the silence.

"Are you sure that it is wise to explicitly help Yuigahama-san when she should have done all by herself?" she asks me.

And to that, I say, "Some people learn from listening to instructions, others learn by seeing the way others do things that have been instructed to them."

I might've been too wordy with my sentence there, but it gets the point across.

"...from experience?" she asks.

I chuckle. "Like many things." I say. "Not all people learn easily even through experience. Sometimes, they need to fall first before they can learn. I've been at her shoes, once. My first time doing pastry making… or if you could call it that."

The King had to ban me from making any pastry or culinary related thing in France, at that time.

In France, dude didn't say anything about Japan.

"But letting her learn, regardless, would have done greater justice in my opinion." I can taste the bitterness in your voice, Yukinoshita. You have something you want to share?

I nod. "Maybe. But what's stopping me from helping her?"

You?

Or Yui herself?

Nothing.

People, no matter how capable they are, will always require assistance. Doesn't matter how much of an MLG or RPG pro or whatever acronyms you whipper-snappers have you are; there will be a time when you'll need people to help you.

Even the Joestars need help, and they're awesome people.

"My… you're quite a softie, are you not, Uzumaki-kun?" I raise an eyebrow at her remark. "Although, it is understandable… Yuigahama-san is an attractive person after all."

When will this kid learn…?

"Look, if you're thinking that I'm being nice to her just because Yui's a little bit better looking than some of the girls in class, you're dead wrong."

"Oh?"

"I mean, I'm an ass to you, aren't I?"

"...good point." Ohoho, don't think I'm flattering you, girly.

A tiring day of school is done once again! Now, a few more days, and then I'll be saying hello to the weekend in no time!

Finally done with club activities, I make my way home from school. I live not too far from school, which is a plus, since I don't have to waste money on transport like train and whatnot. Besides, that means literally every day is leg day for me.

The evening streets of surrounding city is already bustling with after-work hour activities. Young couples are going on after school dates, hard working white collared workers are off venting a tiring day's worth of work away in the local pubs; and there's people like me who's coming home from club activities.

I mostly tune out the crowd and traffic, my mind entering an internal state of self focus while my body moseys through the urban jungle. My place is on the next block, you see. It normally takes me fifteen to twenty minutes to walk back home from school, but today's been a long day; I find myself walking in a much slower pace than usual.

Bzzzt Bzzzt

Oho?

"Hello, Uzumaki speaking?"

"Uzumaki? It's me. I'm calling from a co-worker's phone, since mine's charging. Anyway, you have a client right now."

I raise my eyebrows. "So sudden. Was it a last minute decision?"

"Yeah, you know how it goes. I'll text you the need-to-knows in a sec, and you're probably on the way home from school, right?"

"Yeah."

"Go buy yourself some clothing at a ZARA or Uniqlo or something, the company will cover for you."

ZARA, huh? Must be an important client. Oh well.

"Alright. 'Be hearing more from you, Tanaka-san."

"Hm."

My phone convos with her always end up short and straight to the point, very efficient. Welp, judging from that conversation, looks like I can't afford to rest easy just yet. A sudden request like this one means someone paid lots of money just to cut in the request line… so a VIP, basically.

Haah… looks like I won't be getting much sleep tonight either.

1: A reference to the famous OST from the 6th installment of Touhou Project. U.N Owen itself is reference to Agatha Christie's novel, but in this case, it's a pun of some sort. Uzumaki.Naruto Owen was him(her)?

2: It's, uh, it's a Spongebob reference.

3: A reference to Haruhi from The Haruhi Suzumiya series. She can be quite the dictator.

4: I'm not gonna spoil anything to those who haven't seen Haruhi (seriously, how and why) so don't me.

5: Another Spongebob reference. Yes, I love Spongebob.

6: A variation of Holo's quote from Spice and Wolf. Very fitting, if you ask me. Or did I fit the scene to match the quote? Hmmmm?

So, finally, the rewrite is here.

As you guys might have noticed, there are already different things going on with this rewrite. You might ask me why, well to you, I say:

Why not?

It's a rewrite, there's bound to be new ideas and things when compared to the older version. Not to mention, I'm hoping to go on a different direction this time, completely disregarding previous pathways and even some ideas. Naturally, this means you probably won't see some of the scenes you like that you found in the previous story here… but why would you, you can just read the old one for that…

But, don't be afraid, I do intend to see through this until the very end. Will things be different? Definitely. Is Naruto still a little bit OOC? Heck yeah. Will there be pairings? HELL-yeah, as for that, I don't know.

Please guys, do not - I repeat - do not pressure me into prematurely deciding on pairings. I don't want that to happen, which is why I'm making Naruto's character a little bit less relatable, meaning he will have a harder time to connect with the people around him and vice versa. I've also received complaints about the previous Naruto being a clone of 8man, so I've made sure to remedy that in this iteration of him.

As for the genre, well, you might notice that things turned a little bit too 'Shokugeki-like' at the end there. But that's part of the story and will definitely have their own plot to discover. And, honestly, it's a concept that I'm familiar with in real life; something which is easy for me to associate and put into writing. It also adds a difference in some of the characters', well, character. Naruto especially.

Again, this can mean that some of you won't like what you're about to read. And, like always, nothing I can do will change that.

I guess that is all I'll say for now. The next chapter might take longer, but I can say that it will be released eventually.

Much thanks,

Rain