One Day After Chapter 12

Where... am I? Am I dead? Is this heaven, or hell...?

Everything is pure white. A lucid dream? It feels... surreal.

All of a sudden, a humanoid entity appeared before me.

Purple locks flowed out of thin air, her body materializing from seemingly nowhere.

...This is definitely a dream. Why else would Rize be with me in this blank space?

She grasped my throat, looking deep into my eyes.

I can't move. It feels just like it did before...

Her kakugan shined, and she was close to devouring me again.

I could do nothing but watch.

...Why do I have to experience this again? I've had enough already...

Like before, a loud snapping noise resembling the steel beams rung throughout my ears.

With that sound, my eyes opened. The sudden change of environment left me dizzy and confused.

[Eto: "K-Kaneki! You're finally awake...!"]

I looked to my right, and saw Eto gripping my hand, her eyes red and filled with pain.

What... the hell happened? How long was I out for? What is this place?

I couldn't speak, as there was a tube connected to my mouth. I inspected myself, and noticed that all my wounds from before had disappeared.

Did Eto do that kagune manipulation thing again? She told me that was a one-time thing, because it took too much strength from her. ...Well, it's not like I could ask her anyway.

[Eto: "Kanou told me I could take off the tube when you wake up. Just stay calm, okay? I'll fill you in on what's happened."]

I remembered everything that had happened, up to the point where I knocked out from blood loss. I assume the phone call I made actually worked.

Eto carefully removed the tube, instructing me not to move.

[Eto: "...You have a kakugan now, just like me. It's on the opposite side, though."]

Kakugan? What was she talking about?

[Kaneki: "...Eto, tell me what's happened."]

I felt physically stronger than usual. Aren't you supposed to be weak after having your body thrown around like a ragdoll? ...What's going on here?

Eto took a deep breath and wore an unusually sorrowful expression on her face.

[Eto: "I found you and Rize on the verge of death, crushed under steel beams that had fell on top of you two. Luckily, you were still alive, so I took you here."]

I examined the area more thoroughly, and saw strange creatures being kept in containers all throughout the room. There were doctors' equipment scattered all over the place.

[Eto: "...This is Dr. Kanou's lab. He experiments on ghouls and humans, trying to find ways to create artificial ghouls. I got him to join Aogiri as an asset for us."]

Artificial ghouls...? It's interesting, but it's none of my business.

[Eto: "There wasn't a way to save you, except for having Kanou implant Rize's kakuhou into you. Even though the chances of it happening were one in a million... it was successful."]

She caught her breath before speaking once more.

[Eto: "You are no longer a human. You're an artificial half-ghoul, the only other half-ghoul in this world besides... me."]

My mind couldn't process this information correctly. I had to repeat what she said over and over inside of my head until I could finally understand.

How could I go from a mere human to a ghoul overnight? I'm supposed to be... dead! This... this can't be happening. How am I supposed to live my life now? Every part of my lifestyle will have to change...

[Kaneki: "H-How do you know for sure that I've turned into a ghoul?! I just woke up...!"]

[Eto: "You were out for one day after the operation was finished. All the results show that you're a half-ghoul now, according to Kanou. And still, you've got one kakugan on your left eye."]

No way...! I'm really a ghoul, just like Eto? I was a normal human, living my life, and then my world suddenly flips upside-down from seemingly nowhere. ...I have to confirm that what Eto has said is true.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... bring me some food. ...Human food."]

Ghouls aren't able to digest man-made foods, so I can try to find out if I have some humanity left in me.

[Eto: "I knew you'd ask that. I bought some from a nearby store just a while ago."]

She reached into a plastic bag and rummaged around a bit, eventually pulling out a convenience store sandwich and some snacks.

[Eto: "Just saying in advance, the taste might be really, really bad... because ghoul taste buds are different from humans."]

Eto handed me the sandwich, and I slowly tore off the wrapping and grasped it with both of my hands.

I held it up to my face and looked at it carefully, swallowing.

If... if what Eto said is really true, then I won't be able to eat this sandwich. I can't believe my life has reached this point, but I have no choice but to accept and go through with it.

One bite. Just one bite is all I need to determine what's left of my future. One bite... to mark the end of my humanity.

I lifted the sandwich towards my mouth and hastily bit it, wanting to end the anticipation as soon as possible.

Before I could even chew it, a sour stench similar to rotten cheese filled my mouth.

What the hell...?! This bread tastes like a dry sponge, and the cheese doesn't even taste like cheese... Not to mention the ham tastes like... like raw intestines from the carcass of a dead animal left to rot for weeks...!

I gagged and immediately spat out the horrible contents of the sandwich out of my throat.

I dropped the sandwich on the floor, throwing up and coughing.

Eto looked away, knowing that this would happen.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... this sandwich... I-It's expired, right...?"]

She sighed and looked at the food on the ground.

[Eto: "Nope... that's just how it tastes to ghouls. Well, that's how it's supposed to taste. I'm a naturally made half-ghoul, so I'm able to digest man-made foods. Although, it does taste much worse than human flesh."]

So that explains why Eto decides to eat humans instead of normal food... She's able to digest it, but her taste buds must make it taste just as horrible as that sandwich did.

[Kaneki: "...S-so, now what? Just what am I supposed to do now...? I can't keep living a normal life like this, can I?"]

Eto began to search through her bags once more.

[Eto: "Don't worry. I've already decided that I'm going to teach you the ghoul lifestyle. ...This includes how to fight, eating humans, and developing a kagune."]

She pulled out a kitchen knife from her bag and continued to speak.

[Eto: "It'll be tough for you, but there's no choice. You have to learn how to adapt, or you won't survive. I'll be here for you the whole time, so if you have any problems or questions, you can just ask me."]

I gulped, anxiously looking at the knife Eto held in her hand.

I hoped that it didn't have to come to this. My life just got that much harder, but I should be grateful as I would have been dead by now. Plus, I've got Eto to rely on, so I'll be able to make it through. The hardest part of this should be eating humans, but... I know I have to resolve myself. It'll take me a while for me to get used to that. Just the thought of eating my own kind makes me want to vomit again.

[Eto: "...And we don't have any time to waste. Let's go ahead and test your physical capabilities first."]

[Kaneki: "W-Wait! What do you mean...!"]

Eto sighed, already realizing how long it would take for me to get used to my new body.

[Eto: "Things like knives and other man-made objects can't penetrate a ghoul's skin. I want to test how this affects an artificial half-ghoul. ...And don't worry, it won't hurt. You're a ghoul now, after all."]

Just her saying that I'm a ghoul makes me shudder. This is all happening way too fast... I just can't catch a break.

[Kaneki: "O-Okay... I trust you."]

I lifted up my shirt, exposing my abdomen. Eto gripped the kitchen knife in her hand, preparing to stab it straight into me.

I braced myself and gritted my teeth, as I felt the cold, hard metal clash against my skin.

What...? The knife wasn't able to penetrate, and instead it broke on contact. I felt almost no pain, only a small touch against my abdomen.

[Eto: "Yep, pretty standard for all ghouls. This confirms that you don't have much humanity left in you."]

[Kaneki: "...Way to make me feel even worse, Eto. I've had enough already..."]

She smiled, trying to improve the atmosphere.

[Eto: "We've still got more things to do, though. You've got Rize's kagune, and it's said to be a really powerful rinkaku. I'll try to see if you can unleash it."]

[Kaneki: "Oh, yeah. Rize's kagune was pretty strong. It was almost impossible for me to fight against her."]

Eto's smile turned into a tiny frown.

[Eto: "...But, I don't wanna hurt you to force your kagune out. There's another way to force a ghoul to unleash their kagune, and that is through starvation."]

It's not like I'm bothered by that or anything. I don't want to eat humans anyway...

[Kaneki: "...It'd be hard to get me to eat my own kind, wouldn't it?"]

Eto chuckled, amused at my remark.

[Eto: "I've eaten plenty of ghouls myself. And, you aren't even human anymore. I'm trying my hardest to get that ingraved into my head, and you should too."]

I gulped, afraid of my impending future.

I'm so glad Eto is here for me... because I wouldn't know what to do at all. I am a ghoul now. She's here to make me accept that fact, to make me realize that I have to change.

[Kaneki: "Well, lead the way. Teach me what I have to do as... as a ghoul."]

Eto smiled painfully, attempting to hide her pain.

[Eto: "Y-Yeah... for now, let's just get out of this place. I'll explain everything about ghouls, from what makes them different to humans to how they fit into human society."]

Eto proceeded to grab my hand, gently pulling me out of the work table I was lying on.

We exited out through some sort of secret trapdoor, exposing me to sunlight that I felt like I hadn't seen in years.

[Eto: "First things first... let's talk about the bare minimum needed for a ghoul to survive. You already know that ghouls can only eat human flesh, but you're not really filled in with the details of it."]

That's right... Eto never really told me about how she lived her life as a ghoul. I guess she never needed to, but now she has a reason.

I nodded my head.

[Eto: "Ghouls only have to eat about one full human body for each month. If not, then you'll starve. ...And the sensation of a ghoul starving is almost indescribable. It's unbearable, but you're already starving yourself anyway. It's easier to learn through first-hand experience."]

A starving ghoul... I remember that day when Eto had to eat a part of me to regain control of herself. It was almost as if she became a primal animal, using only her instinct to find a way to survive. ...And now, I'm gonna have to know what that's like myself. Just thinking about it makes me shudder, but I know I have to do it.

[Eto: "There is one thing that ghouls can consume besides human flesh. ...It's coffee. Don't ask me why, but if you're ever in trouble, then you can eat a coffee cube to replenish yourself a small amount. It doesn't contribute to your energy as much as humans do, so you're better off just eating humans and drinking coffee as a pastime."]

That's strange, but fascinating at the same time. It seems there's at least one thing that ghouls and humans have in common, and of all things, it's coffee.

As we walked towards our home together, Eto continued to explain ghoul physiology and how they differ from humans.

Let me try to get this straight. Ghouls have increased physical capability and defense, and have something called a kagune. Eto also told me about a kakuja, and how eating another ghoul's kakuhou makes them develop it. It's scary to think about, but I might have to get my hands dirty like that. I can't take things easy anymore. I might have to live a ghoul's violent lifestyle. I've even been thinking of helping Eto with her mission by working with Aogiri. I don't want to be a hindrance. I want to help Eto, and now I have the power to do that.

Eto and I finally returned home, and I slumped onto the bed.

[Kaneki: "Ugh... just what the hell is going on with my life?"]

Eto laid beside me, arms splayed out across the mattress.

[Eto: "...I don't know. But coming from my perspective, your life is almost like a tragedy. It's amazing how many horrible things can happen to someone who didn't even do anything wrong."]

I sighed, contemplating what I've done to deserve this kind of life.

So many near death experiences... so much pain. My mother died in front of me, and I was never able to feel satisfied with my life. The only good thing that came out of this life was Eto, but if you take her out of the picture, there's only suffering to be found.

[Kaneki: "...I just wanted to live a normal life with you. Nothing more."]

We laid still on the bed. Eto slowly reached for my hand.

[Eto: "...Is it my fault?"]

I turned to face her.

[Kaneki: "...What?"]

Eto was covering her eyes with her other arm, tightly gripping my fingers with her other.

[Eto: "Is it because you're involved with such a dangerous person that your life became like this? You... you could've never met me and nothing would've ever happened to you. It's... it's all my fault, isn't it?"]

What...? Eto of all people should know how much I value her. Nothing in the world is worth more to me than her. Are my circumstances really that bad that she's beginning to blame herself?

I released my hand from Eto's grip and brought it up to her face, gently caressing her cheek.

[Kaneki: "...It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. If you weren't here with me, my life would have been dull, colorless, lifeless. So don't ever take the blame for yourself. It's not you who's wrong. What's wrong is... this world."]

Tears began to stream down Eto's face.

[Eto: "...S-so what? I always try my best to keep a strong face. You're saying you just have to deal with whatever life throws at you? Something like that is so, so... cruel. I just can't take watching you writhe in pain..."]

I remained silent, allowing Eto to finally show her true self for once.

[Eto: "I know you've told me that I've done enough. ...And I have. I've been trying my best, every single day to make you happy. But it's all for nothing, all because fate said it otherwise?"]

I pulled Eto's face close to mine and looked at her, confidently smiling.

[Kaneki: "...I want to become stronger. I want to become useful. If I get stronger, then I could take anything life throws at me, right? ...So just stay by my side. I know that no matter what, we'll be able to pull through if we're together. Just... pull through."]

Eto sobbed quietly, turning her head away from me once more.

[Kaneki: "I'm tired of being weak. This time, I'll take everything head-on. I'm a ghoul, so I should be capable of doing at least this."]

[Eto: "...What do you mean? What are you trying to do?"]

I smiled, looking upwards towards the ceiling.

[Kaneki: "I'm saying that I want to learn how to fight, so I could join Aogiri and help you with your goal. ...That's what I want to do now."]

Eto stood up, looking at me with tears in her eyes.

[Eto: "W-What about your dreams...! You had a whole life in front of you, waiting to be claimed! You can't just give up and risk your life for something as listless as..."]

[Kaneki: "I want to do this. I mean, I'm not necessarily human anymore. It's not like I could keep chasing my goals, even if I wanted to. I have to come up with something new to do, and I've decided to do this. I want to not only save ghoul-kind, but save you as well."]

I looked at her with a newfound determination in my eyes.

[Kaneki: "Just let me do this, Eto. I've been able to help you outside of your ghoul life, but now I'll be able to assist you during your time as a ghoul, too."]

Eto directed her gaze downwards, thinking about what I've said.

[Eto: "...So you want me to teach you how to fight so you could directly help me with my goal? You're just going to throw away what you had left of your human counterpart?"]

I chuckled, amused.

[Kaneki: "Eto... I've already lost everything. I don't have anything left to lose, except for you. If I'm able to do at least this, I'll feel like... like I'm actually useful."]

A grim silence remained in the room.

[Eto: "...Okay. If that's what you really want. I'm just warning you now, but the path to becoming stronger is rigorous and difficult."]

[Kaneki: "...I'm ready for that. I've been through so much already. I might as well take everything head on, now."]

Eto wiped the tears off of her face.

[Eto: "I'll make sure to guide you along the way. ...But, if you ever get into danger doing this, I... I won't be able to forgive you."]

I smiled once more, attempting to show what was left of my humanity.

[Kaneki: "As long as you're with me, I know I'll be able to keep on living. And even if I do get myself in danger, I'll be able to protect myself. ...And if I can't do that, then you'll come for me, won't you?"]

Eto tried to put on a smile similar to mine, even with her face still riddled with traces of tears.

[Eto: "Y-yeah. It makes me happy to know that you'll be even closer to me, but... just be careful. You've already seen how violent ghouls can be. ...And it'll only proceed to get worse as you become stronger."]

I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I thought about all of my options, and it seemed this was the only real outcome for me. It'll be dangerous, but also interesting to see how it plays out. I hope I'll be able to live up to my confidence, though. It'd be strange if I said all these things and ended up dying instantly.

[Kaneki: "I've already resolved myself. All you have to do now is stay by my side, and show me what it means to be a ghoul."]

Eto slumped over on the bed next to me.

[Eto: "...Yeah, I've got you. It... it kind of makes me happy that you'll be able to see how I am as a ghoul. You've only ever seen me as a human."]

[Kaneki: "It only makes sense for me to know what you're like outside of home. I love every single part of you. ...So I want to be able to appreciate each individual part as well."]

Eto blushed, hiding her face.

[Eto: "It'll be weird having you watch me become psychotic and monstrous, killing humans and stuff."]

[Kaneki: "...I like you even when you're doing that."]

[Eto: "K-Kaneki... you're so dumb sometimes."]

I giggled, feeling genuinely happy.

[Kaneki: "But I'm telling the truth!"]

Eto continued to stay silent, too embarassed to face me.

It's rare to see her like this, as she always seems so strong and determined. But I guess when it comes to my well-being, her guard is lowered which allows me to see beautiful things like this.

All of a sudden, Eto turned around and pounced on me, straddling my hips.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto...?! W-what are you...?!"]

She leaned down and pressed her lips against mine, her warm body still laying on my torso.

Eto continued to explore the insides of my mouth, her tongue gently moving against my own.

The soft, warm embrace of her lips continued for what felt like hours, until we could no longer breathe.

Eto finally released her lips from mine, a string of saliva connecting our tongues.

[Eto: "D-Don't forget... don't forget your place in this relationship."]

She breathed heavily, her face hot and dripping with sweat.

I... I had almost forgotten who I was messing with. I lost track of who was the dominant one and got too ahead of myself...

Her petite body was still on top of mine as she looked at me, blushing and out of breath.

But... that actually felt really good. I want to do it again.

Taking advantage of her cooldowns, I turned her around and pinned her against the mattress, my body now on top of hers.

Eto's body was so lewd, sweat dripping down every crevice of her defenseless body, as she laid in front of me, unable to fight back. She looked at me with eyes of contempt, her cheeks still flushed with red, and her tongue still lying out of her mouth.

I gripped both of her hands with mine, and intertwined our fingers together, leaning in for the kill.

Her lips welcomed mine, my tongue intertwining with hers. Eto's voice leaked out, soft moans filling my ears with ecstasy.

This... is my girlfriend. My soon-to-be wife. I can do anything I want to her.

I continued my relentless attack, not giving her a chance to relax. Her body convulsed, shaking inherently as she embraced the warmth of my lips.

What the hell is going on...? I haven't felt this way towards Eto before. ...But she would have allowed me to do this at any time I wanted.

I gripped the softness of her hands even tighter, releasing my lips from hers only for short breaths, then going in again after seeing her exasperated face.

This is wrong... but it feels so good. I really shouldn't be doing this. I should just... stop before things get out of hand.

I lightened my grip on her hands and lifted my face up, away from hers. I looked at her face, her expression glazed and confused.

Both of us were unable to speak, and Eto seemed to be in another world, her breaths short and quick and fluids dripping out of her mouth.

I removed myself off of her and laid beside her.

[Kaneki: "...E-Eto, are you... okay?"]

There was no response. I looked at Eto's face once more.

She wore the happiest, most satisfied expression that I had ever seen. Her hair was messy and her eyes dazed, her breaths still short-lived. Her kakugan was active in her right eye for some reason.

Uh... I guess I should leave her alone for now. I think I broke her. She did tell me that ghoul's lose control of their kakugan when over stimulated. ...But I didn't know she meant it like that.

I picked up her petite body easier than when I was human, and positioned her to the opposite side of the bed.

I laid beside her and closed my eyes, thinking about what had just occurred.

A sudden warmth filled my hand, as I felt Eto's soft fingers wrap around mine.

I looked at her, her forearm covering her eyes. I could still see soft tears of joy streaming down her face and an ever-so-happy smile.

Well. I guess she's fine.

I drifted off to sleep, with Eto's body still trembling due to stimulation.

I wasn't sure if she was able to sleep that night.

Chapter 13 ~ Atrophy

END