Scully woke with a gasp. She felt it again. As if she were stuck in place, unable to move. She opened her eyes and saw him there. Standing in the doorway of the bedroom. He was wearing different clothes, but still had Mulder's jacket. She stared at him, unable to do anything else.

Then she felt it lift. Felt her body unlock and she was able to sit up. She stared at him, unsure of what to do.

"Will you come with me?" His voice sounded far away, echoey.

She stood up and looked back at Mulder. He was still sound asleep, unaware that she had slipped from his arms.

"He can't hear me. He can't feel me." Jackson's voice said.

Scully stepped forward, her eyes locked on Jackson.

"How are you able to do this? How can I see you and hear you in my dreams?" She asked him.

He touched his forehead, moving his hair back. A nervous tick. He looked at her and then shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know how, I just know I can. It's.. it's not all the time. Only when I want to and when you are receptive to it. If I try and you aren't, it's.. I don't know, like trying to watch and hear through thick frosted glass."

She stared at him. Seeing him earlier had left her with a myriad of emotions. Happiness, fear, excitement, but mostly hope. But, he had not wanted to stay. She understood, but it still hurt, incredibly so. He did not know them. He had not been searching for her, living without her, grieving for her, the way she had been for him. He had had a family, a mother and father. And she was nothing to him.

"Not nothing," he interrupted her thoughts and she jumped. Wow, he could read her mind. "You're not "nothing" to me. That's what I want to show you. What I.. I couldn't tell you earlier. You're right that I don't know you. But.. you're not "nothing" to me."

His voice was coming through a little stronger now. Like he had been far away from a microphone and he finally had stepped closer.

"Will you let me show you what I don't think I know how to put into words?" He said with a sense of apprehension, as if she would refuse him.

She looked back at Mulder then back at Jackson. "He can't come with us," he said, holding her eyes, begging her to understand. She held his gaze and then she nodded.

"I need.. I need to touch you. Can I?" He asked quietly, his eyes boring into her.

"Can you?" She whispered incredulously, tears filling her eyes. "This is just a dream, how can you touch me?"

He smiled and stepped closer to her. "It's not a dream. It's not.. it's..a moment? A vision? Hmm..no, that sounds so kooky." She laughed and cried, wiping her eyes.

"Okay. Whatever this is, I'm ready," she said taking a deep breath. He raised his hands and put them gently on her temples.

She gasped. She was in a dark room, but she recognized the scent. Her old apartment, she was almost sure of it. There were shapes but she could not quite make them out. It was familiar, but still dark. Then she heard her own voice, but muffled. Then her mother's voice, her low concerned tones. Again, muffled. Almost like.. like she was underwater and someone was calling her, but it was indistinct.

Then darkness, complete darkness. The scent was gone but she heard voices again.

A man's voice. Not Mulder's. She closed her eyes and listened. It was Doggett, she realized as her eyes opened. Skinner. Then Reyes. Even the Gunmen. All muffled, but their voices were recognizable, passing by like wind.

Then another room. She could make out that there were shapes, but not see them. A different scent this time. Familiar, achingly so, but she did not know what to think of it. How it was possible. What it meant. It was Mulder's apartment. She could hear his voice now too. Muffled.

Then her place again. Still dark, but the scent. It was there. She could hear Mulder and Doggett together, then her mother. So many voices swirled around her.

A rush of loud voices in the dark. Then only Reyes. Her voice muffled, then clearer. She could her herself screaming, louder and louder. Then it was quiet and bright. Then her own face, hazy but she could see it. Then it was gone.

She felt his hands leave her face. He looked at her, searching for a sign that she understood what he showed her. She stared at him, searching his face, the thoughts of what just happened swirling in her head.

"When I was pregnant with you.. but.. how? It's scientifically impossible, improbable. No child has memories of the womb, or.. or for years later. I.. it.." she trailed off, staring at him.

He smiled. "I'm pretty sure we can agree that I was not a "normal" child. That hasn't changed with time, wouldn't you say?" He asked her, a touch to his forehead.

She was trying to process the thoughts she was having. To put science and fact to what obviously could not be categorized. Nor easily referenced. He smiled again. "It's best not to put too much faith in science right now. Consider where you are and what we are doing."

She exhaled, almost like a laugh. She nodded and took a deep breath. "Is that what you wanted me to see? That you remember that time?"

"No, there's more. When you're ready, you tell me, and we'll continue." He said, looking in her eyes.

She stared at him, unsure where this would lead. She knew how this went after he was born. The happiness, the uncertainty, Mulder leaving, her sadness and worry, the loneliness. He raised his eyebrows and she closed her eyes, took a shaky breath, opened her eyes again and nodded.

He touched her temples again and now she could see her apartment, but hazy, through a film. It was odd angles, the ceiling, then her face again. And then she heard her voice, but could not make out the words.

Then there was Mulder, his smiling face as he looked down. Then she understood. These were Jackson's memories, how he saw them. She felt tears running down her cheeks as she was there in that moment through his eyes. She saw Mulder lean forward and kiss her and the most dazzling light filled the room.

The ceiling again, and the mobile. She heard both her and Mulder's voices. Their tones sad. Her crying and him soothing her with hums and then his tears when she was quiet. Then there was Mulder's face hovering over the side of the bassinet. He was hazy and his eyes were so sad. He was closer as she realized Mulder was picking up William. He cried as he held him and looked at him. She could see the tears shining on his face.

Then she could hear his voice, his soft murmurs as she could only see black, William held to Mulder's chest. She saw Mulder again as he bent to kiss William's forehead.

She was sobbing now as she stepped away from him, needing a minute. He understood as he stepped back, his hands in his pockets. She did not know Mulder had done that, had gotten up and held their baby. Had had his own time with him before he left. Not like that anyway. They had lain in her bed with him between them as they marveled at how perfect he was, how beautiful. He had watched her nurse him and told her how beautiful she was, how much he loved them both.

She had watched him hold him, change him, rock him, but they were always together. He had cuddled him, loved him, but not without her. To know that he had done, left her with a bittersweet feeling. He missed all of William's whole short life with her. He did not have the chance to know him. But oh, how he loved him. She knew, but now she saw. Saw the love he had for the child they had created with their love.

She stepped back to Jackson and nodded. He touched her temples again and she heard Mulder's murmurs to William and saw him kiss him again. Saw her own face as he was handed back to her. Saw their faces looking down at him together, then their foreheads pressed together before Mulder kissed her. Then it was quiet. Five seconds and she heard herself sobbing as she saw the ceiling again.

Then there was voices, laughter, singing, happiness. Different hazy faces- Doggett, Reyes, her mother, the Gunmen, Skinner even. All the people she had known and had cared for her and Mulder. The ones determined to help and care for them. But still times of her crying, as she nursed him, rocked him.

Then.. oh.. she heard herself crying again- a different kind of sound. Heard her pleading, heard the desperation and sadness in her voice. She was looking over the crib, staring at him as she cried. She touched his face and bowed her head.

She was crying, looking in his eyes, kissing his face, smelling his neck, then she was gone. Another face, Spender, as he took him from Scully.

She stepped back from him, his eyes on hers. He saw her tears, saw the sadness all over her face. He was about to show her more, something different, when the room started to go dark, feeling like it was enclosing on them. He did not know what was happening, he had never seen this before.

Scully crumbled to the floor in front of him, clutching her stomach, weeping with pain. Jackson stared at her, unsure of what to do. She choked on her sobs, trying to catch her breath. She gasped, begging him to please stop this, to not put her through this again. He stuttered that he was not in control of this memory. He did not know or remember this happening.

"It's..it's..please. Stop it.." She knew what this was. The pain that ate her up inside. Her guilt, her sadness. She remembered this feeling. The despair, the utter agony, the emptiness. Like her heart had been ripped from her chest. Like she could lie down and die and she would not care. She welcomed it even. Death would be better than the pain tearing her apart.

She wanted to leave. Now. She begged him to go, but he stood there frozen. This was not what he wanted. This was not his plan. He never meant to hurt her like he was right now. To hear her heartbreaking cries was killing him.

She forcefully grabbed his hand and they ended up somewhere else instantaneously. She knew where they were immediately. It was the bench by the Washington Monument. She took a deep breath and tried to stop her sobs, her face in her hands. Tried to stop the deep shudders in her breathing.

He was silent beside her. Looking at the Monument across the water, instead of at her. He never meant for her to experience what she just did. He wanted to show her how he had witnessed his life with her. How he had seen her, how he remembered her and the people around her. He remembered their voices, their faces.

The older woman with short brown hair, who looked at him with such love. It rolled off of her in waves. The man with blue eyes that were always so sad. The woman with brown hair and the kindest smile, Monica, who he had helped earlier. The man with glasses. Skinner. He had known him as simply the man who sounded gruff, but always smiled at him. And the three men who were always together. That was what he had wanted to show her. Who he had in his memories.

She had calmed down now. Still a sob swept through, but the tears had stopped. She started telling him about this bench. About why she seemed to have brought them here. How years and years ago, she and Mulder had been separated at work, only one year after they had started working together. Even then, even that soon, she needed him and he needed her; they were not whole without the other.

They had met there to talk, just talk. Their need to remain connected was like a pull. She had heard and then saw how being on his own was making him reckless. Mouthing off to his superiors, disregarding any advice anyone gave him, any help. He was lost without someone by his side. She was lonesome and she felt lost too. They had balanced each other out, right from the beginning. There was no going back to being without the other.

They were quiet for a while. Her with her thoughts, him with his own. The scene at the bench was perfect. It was a beautiful spring day. She could feel the warmth of the day, see the cherry blossoms on the trees.

"I didn't mean for that to happen, the way it ended back there. I.. I don't know what that was, and I didn't know how to stop it. I'm.. I'm sorry for the pain it caused you," he said looking at his lap, unable to look in her eyes.

She looked at his profile and could see Mulder. His jawline, how it had looked when he was younger. Skinner's words about CGB Spender came unbidden into her mind. His claim to William as his own. His stating he was the father of the baby that she had prayed for, hoped for. She felt her stomach roll and she was afraid she would be sick.

Jackson whipped his head up and his eyes burned into hers. "NO!" He said emphatically. "No, that is not the truth!" She looked at him in surprise and he took a breath.

"It's not the truth," he said in a calmer tone. "He was not my father. He was a liar above all else. I could see his thoughts, the plans of destruction he would bring. I know you saw it too, because of our connection. The certain future, if he was allowed to have his way." He was breathing hard, needing to tell her what he saw.

"He was not my father. Not.. not in the biological sense. No. He whispered to me, like a snake. I could hear him saying I was his creation and it was time to show the world what he could do. "Creation." That is what he called me."

She stared at him, tears in her eyes again. "You were not a "creation." Not the way he implied. You were a miracle. My miracle. No, our miracle." She looked across the water, trying to keep her voice steady.

"I.. I was never supposed to be able to have children. I honestly had not thought about it much until it was something taken from me. I loved my job and it was demanding. Children didn't really factor in until.. until I was given a chance to possibly make it happen." She stopped, remembering the pain and heartache she felt when it failed. How she had cried and Mulder had held her. Kept her sane. Made her laugh. Took care of her.

William looked and watched her. He shook his head and looked away again. He could feel the love she felt for Mulder.

"We tried. Tried in vitro.. but.. I thought that was it, my last chance. Mulder and I.. we..we were not..romantically involved until the seventh year of our partnership. We.. we had no reason to worry about pregnancy and neither of us..used any..um.." she glanced at him and his ears were pink. She smiled a little at that knowledge. A sex talk of sorts with her son, how very mom like.

"I started feeling odd, dizzy, sick, not quite myself. I didn't attribute it to pregnancy until I passed out and I was tested at the hospital," she looked at him, waiting for him to look at her. "You weren't planned, but oh.. you were wanted. So wanted. So loved. Oh.." she started crying, tears running down her face.

"That.. that.. back at the apartment, you didn't know what that was, of course you didn't. Those.. were the memories of my darkest days. My days without you. Not having you in my arms. I.. Jesus, I wanted to die. To never get up again. My heart was broken. I failed. I failed you. I couldn't keep you safe, I couldn't protect you. I knew it was just a matter of time before.. before they might kill me to get to you. That you.. would be taken away to become a lab rat. Something to be poked and prodded, experimented on. I.. I didn't want that for you. I thought," she took a deep breath, her tears wetting her shirt as they fell nonstop. "I thought a "normal" unassuming family could care for you. Give you what I couldn't. Safety and care like I could not."

She looked at her hands, her sobs coming out harder now, tears falling faster and seemingly unending. She took large gulping breaths. She had to tell him something, but she was not sure she could get it out. Not without sobbing.

"I want you to know, to..be absolutely sure of something. As much as they loved you, my love for you never ended. A part of me died the day I let you go. It has never healed. It is an open wound that festers and hurts. It might feel as if it's getting better. Then it opens again and the pain pours out," she paused for a breath, then another. "I am happy.." she stopped again and wiped her eyes. She kept her hands on her mouth and nose, a triangle holding in her sobs. Taking her pain and then letting it go in the wind when she moved. "I am happy you had a mother and father who loved you. But, please, don't ever think you were unwanted, unloved, or tossed aside. I would have died for you, if I knew it meant you were safe. A thousand deaths, if I knew you would be safe and happy and whole."

He was facing away from her but she could hear him crying. Heard his sobs as he let her words sink in and fill the holes in his heart. He was loved, it was true. And safe, but he still had those memories that he was not able to shake. Those faces he could not forget.

Until he had smelled her scent on the breeze, they had been buried deep inside. After he had left them tonight, he thought about her. About that scent and the memories tied to it. Of how he would be confused by the dreams he had. The sounds, the colors, the faces, the scent.

When he thought about it tonight, the overwhelming feeling he felt was love. From all the memories, but mostly from her. He knew he could not let her feel that she had failed him. To believe the things she had said to him when he was in that body bag. He wanted her to know that he had been happy and safe. And that was because of her. Before he can begin to tell her, she begins to speak again.

"After I had given you up.."

"No. Not "given up," he interrupted. He looked at her. "You didn't "give up," you were protecting me." He nodded once, letting her know the matter was settled. She smiled sadly at him.

"Right. After I had seen to your protection, Mulder was found in the desert. They claimed he had murdered someone and he was to be held on trial for his life. It was a joke. A foregone conclusion that he was already guilty. It didn't matter what anyone said or did, he was going to be sentenced. And he was, death by lethal injection," she looked out across the water again. "My whole world fell apart. I lost you, I was going to lose the person I loved most in the world."

She looked at her hands, folding and unfolding them. Nervous energy.

"We busted him out and he and I escaped. We ran and we didn't look back. We were on the run for a long time. Never staying in the same place for too long. Until finally it was safe to come home. Well, safe enough. Mulder was still wanted, but I was clear. No one could prove I had anything to do with his escape, not unless they outed themselves," she smiled faintly, thinking of the bind it put some people in, like Kersh.

"I never had a chance to grieve properly for you, to address my guilt about my.. protecting you. I.. I didn't want to talk about it with Mulder. I felt that he couldn't possibly understand how I felt. He wasn't there, he didn't know. It created a block between us that I didn't like, yet did nothing about," she smiled as she looked at him. "We talked tonight. Cleared the air about how we felt. We were both grieving. Both thinking the other placed blame on what happened. There were a lot of tears and misunderstandings, but we got past it. Together, like we always do. Like we should have done years ago," she sighs knowing that conversation had been long overdue.

"Can I show you something? He asked her, smiling.

"I don't want to leave her yet. Can.. can we stay here for a bit still?" She pleaded, not ready for anymore painful memories yet.

"No," he said, "we won't leave. I want to show you a feeling."

He touched her fingers. She closed her eyes and let the feeling wash over her. She felt the feeling of a breeze, the sound of wind in the trees, the calming feeling it brought her as a child, and even more so as an adult. Contentment. She felt contentment.

He showed her the visual pictures that were associated with that feeling. Mulder. All Mulder. Him smiling, laughing, touching her face, looking at her. He was her contentment, her peace.

"I wish you could see how you feel when you think of the peacefulness he brings to you. It's a dazzling yellow," he told her smiling as he looked around her.

"You can see emotions?" She asked, amazed at what he could do.

"I can. I can see your peace, but also your guilt. I see that you still carry it with you and I want to ask you to let it go. I'm okay. You saved me and made sure I was as safe as could be expected, considering who I am. But your guilt of what you could have done, what should have been is still blocking you. You need to let it go to be happy and completely content."

They sat for a bit. She felt a breeze and it calmed her. Mulder. She asked if they could go home, back to her house. He nodded and smiled. She closed her eyes at his touch and then opened them. They were in the grass outside the house.

"I wish you could have known us, especially your father. He would have had so much fun teaching you all kinds of nonsense. Taken you out hunting for jackalopes, camping under the stars, introduced you to his favorite tv shows," she smiled sadly thinking of the memories they would have shared.

"There it is, the blackness of your guilt. I want you to stop thinking that way. I need you to and so does he. I saw the love you two share tonight. The peacefulness you gain from him, it doesn't compare to the love you two share. It's blindingly white. It's the brightest white I've ever seen. As if the darkness has been completely pushed out," he shook his head at the amazingness of it.

"He's everything to me. It's been twenty five years and I love him more than ever. He is amazing and brilliant, driven and he makes me crazy sometimes. But, he crept into my heart and he built a home there. I can't evict him because I would be evicting myself," she told him. They both smiled at that thought.

"You can't hear him though, can you?" She asked sadly.

"Sometimes. It's weird because I could a little more tonight when I was thinking about him. I could picture him more. See him a bit. I can hear him, but it's faint. From far away or underwater. Maybe that old man wanted the connection broken or he was blocking him somehow or put up a filter. I've seen what they can do. It's possible."

She thought of Mulder's brain experiments done on him by Fowley and that bastard. Could that have been what he was doing? Even then? Setting in motion a plan for her to have a hybrid child? Taking away Mulder's ability to see visions like he was, because that smoking asshole was jealous and wanted it for himself? He took away Mulder's ability to see his child. To have that connection. Fuck, is there nothing he wouldn't ruin?

Jackson stood close to her. She felt a peace when he did that. A peace she felt earlier when he had touched their foreheads together. He asked if he could touch her once more. He had a final thing to show her.

He touched her temples. She saw him seeing her- bent over his bassinet, heard her singing as she looked at him, his fingers wrapped around her finger, the way he felt when she nursed him, the closeness, her heartbeat, her love.

Then, Jackson growing up. Happy. Healthy. Learning to ride a bike, jumping on a trampoline, playing tag. His powers showing themselves. Then the tests, questions, but his parents only allowed so much. They loved him, but were scared of and for him. No one could protect him, not completely. He stopped touching her temples. She was sobbing.

He touched her cheek. "You saved me. You did. I know you still think you failed me, but you saved me. I wanted you to see that I didn't feel anger toward you. I don't want this to sound like anything other than my truth. I didn't know you to be angry or hurt. I had seen your pain remember? I know what the decision was to you," he smiled at her.

"But..the alternative? If you had kept me with you? I had seen their power, heard of stories, what they had done to their own children. Without my parents, without your decision to attempt to keep me safe, I would have been in a facility, treated like a lab rat. They would have used me to hurt others, possibly to kill for them. An experiment for them to use as they pleased."

She gripped his arm as he touched her face. She felt it. Felt the weight breaking up inside her. Felt the guilt begin to float away. He did not hate her, he understood. He believed she saved him.

She nodded at him. He smiled. He took the way out he did tonight to be free from their clutches. He was here to remove her from her own. To let that guilt go once and for all. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and let it go. Let all the pain go, the guilt, and suffering she had done.

"Yes!" He shouted and spun around. She laughed and cried at the same time. But they were happy tears. Her boy had set her free.

"It's beautiful.. no more darkness lingering about." He grinned and she did the same. They stared at each other, both knowing it was time to go, but unable to do it.

She grabbed his hand and squeezed his fingers. "You take your time. Come to us when you are ready. I ask one thing if you do. Please, if you come here, come as you. No pretending to be someone else. Just you."

He smiled and squeezed her hand back. "It's a promise."

She stepped away and headed for the porch. She turned around to say goodbye and he was gone.

She woke up with a gasp. She was in her bed, Mulder's arms around her.

"You okay, Scully?" Mulder asked sleepily.

She tried to catch her breath as she looked around the room. Her eyes landed on an item next to her on the bedside table. She sat up and picked it up. It was a snow globe like the one she dropped. She smiled as she realized it was not just a dream. She turned it upside down and let the snow fall on the windmill in Kansas.

She slid back into Mulder's arms and watched the snow collect on the bottom.

Mulder pulled her closer. "You okay, hon?"

She smiled. "Hon." He had not called her that in a long time. She turned over with a last look at the snow globe. She burrowed into his arms. "Yeah," she said with a smile, "I'm okay."

Lying safe in his arms, her burden lifted, she felt the words had never been more true: There's no place like home.