Mountain Ape and Eyelash stood side by side with an open door between them. There were chairs for them but for hero reasons they declined, they were too fixated on the empty hallway in front of them. They had been standing there for the last hour while Tatsumaki laid in bed all day and blasting the television. News reporters' voices traveled down a sanitary hallway from Tatsumaki's room zero two. If there were other patients, they would've demanded her to shut it off or close the door. But there was no one else. For The Blizzard Group had come to unanimous decision that they should bribe the other patients and hospital to clear out. Highly unnecessary in Tatsumaki's opinion. However the news on television contradicted her thoughts on the situation. Apparently the hospital was under siege by assassins out for pricey her neck. Apparently some American celebrity got cheated on by a baby daddy. Apparently some idols are going to jail for raping people. Apparently there has been an increase in crime due to Tatsumaki's absence. First Blast and now another S-Class hero off the streets. Every criminal out on bail or was in hiding knew that now was the time to strike. So much so that the media decided to suck it up and turn it into a horrifying shitstorm. Oh look! Now they were starting a special on her on BOX Bews.

An anchorman was sitting with Tatsumaki's photo floating beside him.

"Yes, you heard it here folks. The famous number two, S-Class hero has been rendered powerless along with various others in the psychic community. A phenomenon caused by exposure to the blood moon seen days before." he pronounced.

Tatsumaki rolled her eyes as he droned on and on.

"Ms. Tatsumaki is currently residing at an unknown hospital near the hero association's main base on South Gate street till her powers return. Leaving everyone in the community wondering who will protect them in the case another dragon level threat arises. Your thoughts, Samantha?" the male anchor inquired to his right as Tatsumaki's photo faded.

The camera angle switched to a female anchor, dressed in the typical news person business attire. "Steve, it is true that everyone is naturally concerned for their own safety. However Ms. Tatsumaki is not the only S-Class hero… There are many others that can protect us… "

"Yes, of course! But what would occur if they all lost their powers. I personally am concerned with my own safety!"

"Steve, I think what we, as a community, are neglecting to remember is that heroes deserve to care for themselves prior to anyone else."

"How do you mean, Samantha?"

"In most cases, dragon level threats are a rarity nowadays and are dealt quite quickly. Thanks to not only the S-Class heroes but along with the diligent work of the A-Class, B-Class, and C-Class heroes. I am confident that they will continue their hard work even if some of them lost their special abilities."

"So are you saying that it is negligible on their part?"

"No. I mean that we should be grateful to them for dedicating their lives to our safety. You recall that the day Ms. Tatsumaki fell from the sky, that she had also helped subjugate a large cult group of psychics along with Mr. Puri-Puri Prisoner?"

"That's right! The group had attempted to hold a meeting along with hiding away from the blood moon that night!"

"Well, we were recently informed that Tatsumaki was actually off that day. Meaning she diligently took time away from herself to selflessly help out the community, did she not?"

"That's true…"

"I think right now we, as a community, should at least consider the safety of our heroes during their time of need. Ms. Tatsumaki has done such a great deal for this world and is insanely vulnerable at this time."

"You're right… Not to mention there are a lot of individuals out there that aren't shy about their threats toward Ms. Tatsumaki."

"Exactly, Steve. In fact, there have already been several attempts on her life while she was in the hospital."

"Good thing, the hero association assigned the fellow S-Class hero Puri-Puri Prisoner as one of her bodyguard! While another hero, known as uhm... 'Say- tame-ma' is just mowing down every threat out there it seems!"

"Hahahaha! Steve, according to our sources, those two are definitely going steady!"

"Samantha! Hahaha! This is not a gossip channel, but you heard it here, folks! Ms. Tatsumaki has been rumored to-"

Tatsumaki quickly lifted her round hospital tv remote and flipped to another random channel. Any other channel would do!

Multiple photos of Tatsumaki and Saitama were flooding filling every corner of the screen.

'Dammit.'

"AAWWW! LOOK AT THAT BOMBSHELL SEEN WALKING AROUND ONE OF THE MOST ROMANTIC PLACES IN JAPAN WITH THAT EEEEEEEGGGGGGG!" a loud annoying narrator screamed.

Pictures of the two on second date flashed on the screen while an office of people were paid to make mocking commentary. "Look at that! Now that should give all of us some hope since that baldy can get a WOMAN like that!" an old man with a cup laughed.

"COME ON THAT'S NOT VERY NICE! WEELLL… HE'S NO SWEET MASK THAT'S FOR SURE!"

Sweet Mask model photos flashed on the screen with sparkles and cupid's horns tooting. Than Saitama's selfie replaced Sweet Mask, without any sparkles and an obnoxious fart noise instead of a harp.

"Seriously what does she see in him?!" .

"OBVIOUSLY NOT HAIR!"

Zooming in Saitama's shiny head and making a loud ping background noise.

"Apparently those two are the real life Dom and Letty! They were caught on camera cuddling and getting comfortable under these beautiful lit up trees!"

Dark, blurry images of Tatsumaki and Saitama privately kissing began instantaneously on the television screen. Too shocked to process what was going on, Tatsumaki lay in her hospital bed with her mouth agape and eyes wide open.

"IT MUST HAVE NOT BEEN THAT GREAT CAUSE TEN SECONDS LATER…."

A broadcasting of Tatsumaki sprinting away from Saitama to vomit into the lake. Tatsumaki turned off the television before TMZ could degrade her personal life any longer. Throwing the remote out the open door, Tatsumaki slouched into her hospital bed in defeat and anger. It was bad enough that she had lost all of her powers but it's worse knowing that it was broadcasted on international television. Normally networks didn't dare whisper her name for fear of the great Tornado. However since she was stripped of her powers, Tatsumaki was no longer able to fling these degenerates off a cliff. The media was taking advantage of her during her moment of weakness. Parasites slurping up whatever information they could find on Tatsumaki. Without considering her and her boyfriend's right to privacy.

….

'Boyfriend'?

…

'We never really made that official… Not to mention…"

...

A hazy image of mustard yellow slush with small chunks of strawberries flashed inside our heroine's brain. Partially digested food and bile was carried away by a bustling river. Remaining bile soured the inside of her mouth as she hovered over the river. Dry heaving as her manicured nails sank deep into the muddy river side. Everything was spinning around and around but under her palms the ground wasn't moving. Constant loud flashing noises kept shattering something inside her brain, threatening an immediate K.O. if she didn't compose herself.

Tatsumaki could crisply hear Saitama say in slow motion, "AAAAAARRRRRRREEEEE YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH KAAAAAAAAYYYYY?"

Events that followed were unclear, although Tatsumaki was pretty sure that she had scolded him. But what had she said? Something seemed different with his tamago expression.

'Wait'

'Not a 'tamago expression'. Seriously? His whole head is red. Especially the bald part. Embarrassed?'

'He's-He was kinda cute that time...'

'Really cute…. Why would he be 'cute'?'

Tatsumaki crossed her arms while she squinting up at the ceiling. What did she say to make Saitama all bashful? Why was he looking down at her like that? Was he stuttering? There were so many things that she couldn't recall about that day…

But as usual Saitama wasn't there when she needed him most…

"Uh! Oh! Cats out of the bag~!" A luxuriously masculine voice sang.

Tatsumaki didn't need to glare up to know that Puri-Puri Prisoner was staring at her with a boisterous smirk. On impulse, frail hands attempted to throw a television remote in order to teach that smug homo a lesson. Once the remote left her fingertips, gravity quickly took hold. A loud *clack* noise right next could be heard echoing throughout the room.

Eyelash, Mountain Ape, Puri-Puri Prisoner, and Tatsumaki fixated their gaze on the ground in deafening silence. It didn't make it anywhere near Puri-Puri Prisoner who stood only six feet away from Tatsumaki's bedside. Room zero two's remote lay on the floor inches away from the bed. It didn't appear to be thrown but simply slid off to the side. Damn. Tatsumaki's weaker than a Class C hero. Actually weaker than a civilian at this point. Like a chihuahua that got hit by a mini cooper. Puri-Puri Prisoner quickly cleared his throat, "Uhm… Tatsumaki put on your work out clothes."

"What?"

Tatsumaki's green eyes fixating on the control panel to avoid glancing up at her reflection which now ran in front of her. Hidden pores oozed out waste from underneath Tatsumaki's skin. Having been husked off to this humid foreign environment short notice, she had failed to wipe off her cosmetic embellishments on her face. Mascara mixed with eyeliner traveled down red cheeks, riding on the back of her sweat. Green strands glued onto her face and back of her neck. For the life of them, no one in the blizzard group could find her fucking hair ties anywhere. Luckily, $u$u$emon's workout pants are not just for cold days at home. For Tatsumaki's legs and firm glutes were unaffected by her nagging itch. With only a sweater to wear, Tatsumaki was not only on fire but had an intense need to scratch her entire upper body. Unfortunately, her hands were too preoccupied bouncing up and down to peel off dead skin. Her mind was going crazy wanting to sacrifice balance for a quick scratch. This is a torture method in Hell.

"Can *huff* we *huff* *huff* pl-please *huff* go back?"

"I never knew you were so delicate!"

"F-fuck *huff* o-off *huff*! I-I-I was *huff* worried about you! *huff*"

"I'm fine, thanks!"

*huff**huff**huff*

"You know... the idea is to go at a pace that allows you to continue on for at least 30 minutes."

*huff**huff**huff*

"So stubborn. I should have known you couldn't even figure out how to pace yourself~"

Tatsumaki let out a long, long drawn out sigh before pressing the down button to reduce her speed to a baby's crawl. Crisp air washed clean Tatsumaki's tiny lungs while maintaining a healthy whole body resistance. Now that she could breath it wasn't so bad jogging alongside Puri-Puri Prisoner whatever ratchet jargon on Pandora. Lyrics were seeming to mirror Tatsumaki's current issues as a fellow independent, bad bitch. Or at least prior issues...

Static noises followed swiftly by a smoky odor erupted from a treadmill besides her's. Alerted, Tatsumaki turned her distressed attention to Puri-Puri Prisoner. He was fine. His muscular legs were nowhere to be seen. Thundering sounds bouncing off mirrored walls into Tatsumaki's tiny ear canals, evidence to why smoke was billowing from this poor machine. His arms pumped up and down rapidly, ignoring all the smoke filling the confined gym space.

Till the fire alarm finally allowed for the sprinklers to give way. Delicate fingers motioned toward a large red button till a voice intervened, "No break days."

Tatsumaki stopped walking and looked over at Puri-Puri Prisoner. Stained pink lips contorted downward in pure disgust. Face wrinkles that weren't there before were creating hideous lines across her forehead. If she still had some eyebrows drawn on, they would have been furrowed deep into the center of Tatsumaki's normally beautiful face. One raccoon eye was wide open in contrast to it's twitching sister. She didn't care that her drenched figure was being slowly carried away by her treadmill.

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT!" Tatsumaki screamed.

Moist, porcelain hands smashed mercilessly on the red buttons of both of their treadmills.

"Why did you drag me to a sauna?" Puri-Puri Prisoner asked, pouring water over stones to release more steam.

"SHUT UP! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID 'No break days'!"

"Sitting in a sauna is more of a cool down or a warm up than a workout…"

"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT WHEN YOU RUN LIKE THAT? WHO IS GOING TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGES?"

"They should expect this from a patient list of heroes. It takes work to save lives!"

"WHAT IF YOU GET SICK? I HAVE NO TIME TO MAKE SOUP FOR IDIOTS LIKE YOU!"

"Oh~?"

Tatsumaki slapped her hands over her mouth in a fruitless attempt to force those words back down her throat. Puri-Puri Prisoner planted his hairless naked bottom next to Tatsumaki's covered body. Instinctually, Tatsumaki projected herself away from him to the other end of the bamboo bench. Slim arms raised in a futile attempt to hide any remnants of embarrassment.

"NOT SO CLOSE!"

"We've already cleared up that we're friends. BESIDES I wouldn't even pretend to want any of what you're lacking. Are you sure you're twenty-eight?"

A fragile fist punched the bamboo wall behind Puri-Puri Prisoner, pinning him to a corner. Puri-Puri Prisoner widened his eyes downward at Tatsumaki's berserk expression. "Don't talk down on me, motherfucker."

Puri-Puri Prisoner face turned bright red, freezing Tatsumaki's rage inside of a fridge of confusion.

"OMG! You're so cute!"

"Wha-?!"

"You're really tough, Tatsumaki. I wish I had your strength to handle all of this media slander especially when you can't do anything about it..."

"Whatever! It's too be expected from the media and I was careless. There's nothing we can do about it now!"

"Look I know exactly what you're going through. Actually you know that better than anyone else… "

Massive, rock-hard hands softly planted on top of Tatsumaki's wet green hair. Blue eyes pierced through green eyes with compassion and gratitude. A platonic bond that transcended through typical work crap and occasional drunken mistakes. Those eyes held memories of their years working together. Tatsumaki could remember so clearly the first time she agreed to go with him to Kalifornia on a mission to eliminate the Burrowing Snakes. Puri-Puri Prisoner was probably remembering how Tatsumaki drunkenly flashed her beesting boobs and Japanese bush at the Hitchcock's Bar. Everyone was so shocked to see that there wasn't a trap underneath that dress. Most men lost interest while many women gained interest in the little esper. Tatsumaki didn't take the revelation well, angrily causing a horrifying scene straight out of Carrie. Puri-Puri Prisoner was drunkenly holding her back from killing any innocents. He was laughing till his sex tape was almost released alongside her uninteresting nudes.

Tatsumaki recalled in graphic detail how Puri-Puri Prisoner took such careful detail to paint a rainbow onto his rod. Any adult who saw what she saw that week would have started throwing down drinks too. Puri-Puri Prisoner was being dramatic when the worm he slept with had threatened to release their video and photos to tabloids. Robert was a selfish pig so naturally a personal, private meeting between Tatsumaki, Saitama, and Robert was all it took to get rid of the rat.

Closing her eyes, Tatsumaki exhaled deeply while deciding the best course of action. Puri-Puri Prisoner was annoyingly concerned about his friend who was clearly fine. The whole situation in Kalifornia must have been rough on him at the time. Removing her bruised, sweaty porcelain hands from the bamboo wall to help the other hand in cupping his face. Puri-Puri Prisoner was captivated by Tatsumaki fluorescent green eyes before she grabbed him by the afro and slammed her head into his forehead. How dare he even consider this to be a similar situation. Both of them flew back to opposite sides of the bamboo bench. Their breath caught, they both stood up in defiance towards one another while both massaging their heads in unison.

"BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!" Puri-Puri Prisoner screeched.

"DON'T START TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! I AM YOUR SENPAI!"

"WHAT? I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"

"I DON'T NEED HELP FROM SOMEONE LIKE YOU!"

Dead silence.

Steam was billowing from underneath stones. Steam was waying down the already heavy atmosphere. Puri-Puri Prisoner was holding his forehead and looking down at the floor like a kid who didn't deserve to be scolded. Why couldn't Tatsumaki say the right thing the first time? People are always so mean to the people closest to them… She wondered why that was… Puri-Puri Prisoner began shifting his attention to the door. Did he not want to be friends with her anymore? Someone had to say something or their friendship might not make it! That would mean no more drunken parties. No more odd but not bad conversations at work. No more having someone actually call themself her friend. Her stubborn head slumped down in defeat when Puri-Puri Prisoner began slowly turning away from her.

"I'm sorry… That was rude… If you really want to help me out than just go with Saitama to TMZ! He's not a snitch, that's for sure… Otherwise… Don't worry about me… Just focus on doing your job and protecting me till I get better. Than maybe we can go drinking in… I don't know… Bahamas maybe? Italy? Kalifornia? Not that I want to! But because you seem to need a break...Not from me… Stupid! Why am I even asking? I MEAN! It's up to you! IDIOT!"

Puri-Puri Prisoner stood there tense in an attempt to comprehend the gravity of her words. Than a hearty manly laugh exploded inside of the sauna room.

"WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY!"

He never answered, actually Puri-Puri Prisoner could no longer talk without breaking out into pure laughter. What's worse was that it was a constant struggle for Puri-Puri Prisoner to stop fucking laughing. She could hear his struggle inside of the men's changing room from the woman's changing room. Changing out of her gym clothes and into just a large white and red sweater with familiar yellow print. She put on an old pair of black panties which she typically used as a spare during emergencies. Walking out of the changing room, Tatsumaki saw Puri-Puri Prisoner who was flirting with one of the male nurses in the hospital hallway. Once he saw her coming towards him, Puri-Puri Prisoner quickly gave the man the number to contact him by in prison. The man scurried off confused at the situation by the time Tatsumaki made it to her friend.

"You're such a slut…"

"As if you can talk… We all read chapter…"

"SHUT UP, PURI-PURI!"

"Oh come on. You should just tell him this whole waiting thing was a mistake. Trust me.. He'd be over the moon!"

"I'm not so sure…."

"Ugh.. What is it now?!"

As they continued down their stroll to Tatsumaki's room, they chatted away about sex which still frazzled Tatsumaki. Forcing him to change the subject as to why Tatsumaki was beating around the bush and not being forward with Saitama. After Puri-Puri Prisoner effortlessly pierced multiple holes in Tatsumaki's tsundere logic, Tatsumaki fessed up to the root of the issue.

"You want a relationship like Shoujo comics?"

"Yeah or have something really intense like Sid & Nancy, T.I. & Tiny, or Dom & Letty."

"But those are very… Whatever. Do you really think that any man is capable of that?"

"What good is he if he isn't?"

"Tatsu-chan… you can't do that. You have to admit Saitama seems a little… stupid?"

"SHUT UP! You just don't know him like I DO! He's like a buddhist monk! Deep and spiritual! Strongest man I have ever met but remains humble like a man should! Saitama is a millions times better than all of those girly boys you've been with! You're just too shallow to see it!"

"Whatever you say…"

"You act like you know everything about relationships. But I've worked with him and hung out with him longer than you. I know him! I bet he has something special for me planned!"

"Okay… I just want you to be happy but -"

Tatsumaki waited for Puri-Puri Prisoner to say something but was consumed by darkness instead. Literal darkness. A force pushed Tatsumaki into this predicament and closed the door behind him. Her neon green bag illuminated some of what appeared to be a storage closet. Tatsumaki reached for the silver door knob before hearing Puri-Puri Prisoner's voice.

"OH SAITAMA! HOW NICE TO SEE YOU!" Puri-Puri Prisoner exclaimed, alerting Tatsumaki.

"Uh… Hi… uhm... Mr? Mrs? Puri-Puri Prisoner-san. It's nice to see you too…" Saitama's voice responded nervously.

Tatsumaki realized that Puri-Puri Prisoner had actually saved her. Saitama couldn't be allowed to find out where his favorite "Oppai" sweater went. She should have done her laundry today or at least demanded for some new clothes to be brought over. Tatsumaki made a mental note that maybe she should try organizing her life a little more. Not to mention, our heroine was planning to wash her sticky skin in her hospital room rather than the public gym bath. Perspiration soaking it's pungent odor deep inside of Saitama's soft sweater. Her alluring face paint, had melted to make her appear more like John Wayne Gacy than Wonder Woman. Curls that defied gravity into a horrifying hot mess. There was no way in hell that Saitama was going to see this unless they were married.

"So... How are you?"

"I am good! So what are you doing with those things?

"They're for Tatsumaki…"

An ear slammed on the door making a loud *CLUNK* noise.

"*COUGH* SO! *COUGH* what the hell is it?"

"A bouquet of flowers…"

A heart skipped a beat.

"What happened to the flower part?"

"Yeah… I ran too fast so the heads came off... "

A heart sank.

"Mm-hm… I see..."

"I am going to the store to buy another one."

"As you should. Listen why don't we just cut to the chase."

"Please, sir or ma'am."

"Everyone and their mother knows you two are an item so why don't you explain to me what's going on?"

A throat swallowed.

"That's it? Tatsumaki is my girlfriend and I am boyfriend."

"OBVIOUSLY! God, what does she see in you?"

"I think she thinks I'm cool…"

"Rhetorical question… What exactly are your intentions with senpai? Like is it money, a weird fetish, or-"

"Oh! No. I love Tatsumaki."

Tatsumaki sat with her ear suctioned to the door unable to comprehend what was said. Her heart threatening to strangle her to death unless she got a clue.

'What did he say?'

"Whoa… I mean… Okay! There is a lot to love but-"

"I understand that you're sort of her best friend or something. You're probably looking out for what's best for her. I love her so I want the same thing. Naturally as a man I would more but she is someone I respect. Anyway... I would really like for you and I to be friends."

"So blunt~ It's kinda hot~"

"Stop it! I have a girlfriend!"

"Loyal to boot!"

"Anyway… as for the 'why'..."

A heart was going to blow.

"I don't know sometimes."

'I am going to kill him when I get my powers back'

"You better watch your mouth, asshole…"

"I mean… she can be really mean to me sometimes which causes me to think that at times. BUT I know she doesn't mean to push me away because of things that she isn't ready to talk to me about. It hurts me as a man knowing that the woman I love doesn't think I'm reliable enough. *sigh* At the end of the day, I'm grateful to have a woman so resilient and strong. I'm a man so naturally I can recognize a beautiful woman when I see one. However underneath all of those layers of emotional trauma I think… she might become one of the strongest women in the galaxy. She's so brave… I worry she'll kill herself… But it's inspiring… Geez… Why do you have to ask weird questions like that? Having me say all of this outloud is annoying and embarrassing… Maybe Tatsumaki was right when she called me an 'idiot'..."

A chest was going to blow.

'To be honest, I could die now and I'll be okay.'

"Wow! You are serious about her. Okay! You passed! Here take this!"

"What? Really?"

"Yeah, everyone knows you're low on cash but she's worth every cent."

"Wow… *sniffle* You really are a great friend Puri-Puri Prisoner-san…"

"Interest is 10%."

"What the fuck, man?"

"I'd go now before the store closes."

Saitama made a grunting noise before everything went silent. Glorious blinding lights entered into the room bringing a twinkle to Tatsumaki's dazed and dazzled pupils. Puri-Puri Prisoner crouched before his friend who blinked, vacantly at him.

"Oh goodness… You look like you've found Jesus or Buddha!" Puri-Puri Prisoner laughed.

"He loves me. Saitama. Saitama loves me… SAITAMA LOVES ME! S-S-Saitama loves me, Puri-Puri! He really said it!" Tatsumaki choked while standing up. She started pulling Puri-Puri Prisoners back and forth by his shirt in excitement.

"Yep, now hurry up and confess to each other. No one likes a drawn out confession."

Is it really okay for anyone to be this happy?