A/N: Did I say within a week? More like two.. Sorry folks I'm preparing to go back to college and have been a bit busy!

Cast:

CAST:

Sirius Black as Michael Scott
Draco Malfoy as Jim Halpert
Hermione Granger as Pam Beesley
Harry Potter as Dwight Schrute
Daphne Greengrass as Angela Martin
Rubeus Hagrid as Kevin Malone
Neville Longbottom as Phyllis Lapin
Severus Snape as Stanley Hudson
Gregory Goyle as Toby Flenderson

and Remus Lupin as himself

Remus Lupin walked into the office and straight into the conference room. He knew he didn't have enough sleep last night to deal with Sirius for several hours today. He tried to avoid the office, but today he needed to run a "mandated meeting". He thought that working at the Ministry would put him far away from Sirius for so he could be productive. He sighed as he twirled the pain potion in his pocket, knowing he would have a headache before it was time to leave.

It wasn't that Remus didn't want to see Sirius outside of the specific time set aside for him. Sirius, after all, is his best friend of over thirty years. However, working with Sirius is a completely different entity. A nightmare, if Remus were honest. Sirius tends to put more effort into procrasting his actual work than the effort needed to do his job. He knew it would be even worse that today's visit was solely due to Sirius's behavior in the workplace. Remus began to write down the outline for the meeting when Sirius knocked and entered the room.

"Moony, can I help you at all in here?" Remus couldn't deny that his friend's smile was contagious.

"No Pads, I'm all set." He smiled faintly at him and went back to the chalk in his hands. He heard the door open further and he forced himself not to curse under his breath, knowing that Sirius's canine hearing would pick it up. He heard the chairs he organized being moved around.

"You know, I think a circle would be better for this type of meeting-"

"Pads, please leave the chairs."

"BUT, rows would be even more practical." Sirius dragged the chairs back to where Remus originally set them. Remus gave Sirius a stern look and watched as he left the room. He let his head droop forward and rest against the chalkboard. He didn't want to offend Sirius, but if he treated him like he would outside of work then he would never be taken seriously. It was bad enough he had to put on a presentation for everyone in the office when he really only needed a discussion with Sirius.

Cleverly, Remus already thought to send owls to everyone else in the office beforehand to let them know about the sham. He hoped that Sirius would never find out what precautions he took for Sirius's ego. It would be a long day, but at least Tonks promised him a reward for getting through the day without hexing his friend sideways.

Interview: Sirius Black

"Today we are celebrating Diversity Day in the office by having someone come in from the Ministry to talk to everyone. I've been pushing the Ministry to do for a long time. Well.. It's something I've wanted to push them to do, but they beat me to it. I can't believe someone is going to take the credit for the idea. I was going to suggest it to the Ministry, I just never got around to it. But it's something we've needed, and I'm very excited. We really should have been celebrating since the end of the war, but I guess it's better late than never at all!"

"Yes Mr. Saxton, the parchment is very reliable. I'm sure the students will appreciate more sturdy parchment. The ink will bleed less through this parchment-"

Rrrrrrpppppt

"Hello? Mr Saxton can you hear me?"

Rrrrrrpppppt.

Draco looked up and saw Harry staring at him while shredding parchment. He had a smug look on his face. That arsehole.

"Mr. Saxton, do you mind holding on one moment?" Rrrrrrpppppt. "Yes, yes just one moment." Draco pulled the receiver away from his face and glared at Harry. "Do you have to do that right now Potter?"

"Yes actually, boss's orders. We got new shredders in and he asked me to see if they work. You know how Sirius is about new technology from the Ministry."

Draco watched as the parchment shredded perfectly into the basket, "I think it works just fine Potter."

"Oh I know that," Rrrrrrpppppt, "I've just got piles of papers to get through now that we have the shredders in."

"Mr. Saxton, I am so sorry about that. Where were you?"

Rrrrrrpppppt.

Draco reached over his desk and pulled the plug from the shredder, finally silencing it. "I'm sorry, just one more time. Ah, that's perfect. What I was I saying? Yes, Hello?"

He looked up when he heard the dial tone on the phone and saw Harry's finger pressing down on the button on his phone. "Thanks Potter."

"Just serving justice Malfoy. Tit for tit you know."

Draco looked over and saw Hermione snickering. "It's tit for tat," she called out, "honestly Harry, you grew up in the muggle world."

"Well pardon me, 'Mione, I did live in a cupboard you know. Sorry for not being up to date on all the muggle expressions out there."

Interview: Draco Malfoy

"Mr. Saxton is the new Headmaster over at Hogwarts and adores me for some reason. He calls just once a year to renew the account, and that one call ends up being a quarter of my commission for the year. This year I'm pushing recycled parchment for 2 percent more. It's something new the Ministry is nudging everyone to do. There's a new department run by young Hippie witches and wizards who preach to everyone about conservation. Something about saving the planet? I'm not exactly sure how something as simple as recycling could possibly save the environment, but hey, I'll get a few more galleons out of the deal. I already bought myself a bottle of firewhiskey and ready to celebrate. I know, I'm getting too cocky now, right?

Draco watched as Hermione's brows furrowed together in concentration. He looked around the room and noticed that everyone else seemed to be lazing around the office. He walked over to figure out what could possibly take that much focus. When he rounded her desk, he noticed her screen looked bright and had electronic cards.

"Isn't this the game you tried to teach me?"

She didn't break eye contact with her screen. "Yeah, Solitaire."

He put his hand on the arm rest of her chair and leaned over her, enjoying the small shiver of her body even knowing it shouldn't be for him. "You can put that six on the five, right?" He pointed to the four piles in the upper corner.

"Yeah I know. I saw it."

"So why didn't you?"

She looked up at him and realized he was quite close to her. She felt her cheeks heat up and hoped that she would not blush. "I like saving it until the end. I love when the cards go whoosh-tsh-tch-tch."

"Yeah. Who wouldn't love that." Hermione, now facing forward, didn't notice that Draco's eyes never left hers as she watched the cards sort into four even piles, announcing her win.

Sirius walked out of his office and paused, noticing that Remus had not yet exited the office. He backed up and waited at the entrance of the door for his best mate to walk out. When he noticed the door finally opening, he began to walk straight towards Hagrid.

"Reubus!" Sirius exclaimed, "Catch any fun critters this weekend."

Sirius' canine hearing picked up Remus' footsteps towards them.

"No, but thas' okay." He grumbled, "One of the employees at the Department of Control of Magical Creatures, you know the spacey blonde, Luna? Well she told me all about these creatures called Nargles and I've been tryin' to hunt 'em."

"That's fascinating! Remus did you hear that? Reubus is attempting to catch the legendary Nargle." Remus rolled his eyes.

"Hello Hagrid," he gave the giant a quick nod of acknowledgement.

"Ha! See I'm even on a first name basis with him, Remus."

Remus ignored Sirius and called the room to attention. "Hello everyone. It's so nice to see so many familiar faces. As you know, I'm hosting a program today—"

"Woo Diversity Day!" Sirius clapped obnoxiously.

"—and I would like you all to come to the conference room so we can begin."

"The quicker it's over, the sooner I can go home. Tonks has a surprise. Tonks has a surprise. I need to be on my best behavior," He mumbled over and over under his breath while making his way to the room.

"I love diversity day! I wish everyday could be diversity day."

"Sirius, that would defeat the whole point of celebrating our differences," Hermione stated exasperatedly, she had no idea how she would put up with Sirius if he continued with this behavior.

"What differences, Kitten, I see none!" Sirius turned to find Draco still on the phone while everyone else herded into the room.

"Come on, Draco, it's Diversity day! This is more important!" He whisper yelled into Draco's unoccupied ear. "Mr. Saxton, I'm going to have to call you back. Yes, I am very sorry. Thank you."

Draco huffed and hung up the phone, dragging his hands over his face. He needed to make sure this sale went through.

"Thank you for coming," Remus replied to those who took a piece of paper from him while walking into the room.

"Come on! Let's get movin', chop chop!" Sirius barked as he crossed his arms and stood at the front, next to Remus.

"Thank you all for being so patient. These cards are yours to fill out, but I will get to that in a moment. I promise I will try to make this quick," he gave a nervous chuckle at their blank faces.

Sirius coughed out a "that's what she said" with a giggle, earning an eye roll from Remus.

"Our Diversity program is heavily influenced by honesty, so I'm putting my trust into you to stay honest throughout this session. Today we're going to focus on trying to fix issues that arise from our diversity. I strongly believe that most problems arise in the workplace due to ignorance."

"Yes this is a race-free zone. Kitten, I don't look at you any differently because you're a muggleborn."

Snap

Sirius turned to see that the chalk in Remus' hands broke in half.

"This is exactly the problem I'm talking about. We don't need to pretend that we are blind to our differences. That would be fighting ignorance with ignorance—"

"Toleration," Sirius ended the sentence confidently.

'Only a few days to the full moon, I can take my aggression out on Padfoot then. I can make it,' Remus tried to reassure himself.

"No," he gave Sirius a pointed look. "With more ignorance."

"Ignorance," Sirius parroted Remus.

Remus turned his entire body towards Sirius and gave him a pointed look. "It's time for all of us to celebrate our diversity and different cultures."

Sirius raised his hands, "Yes, Let's celebrate! Celebrate good times, come on!" Sirius belted out the catchy tune, ignoring the heated looked coming from his friend.

"You know what?" Sirius gave the room his winning smile, "Here's what we're going to do. We are all going to go around and say what were sexually attracted to about different races. I will go last."

Harry cleared his throat, "I've never been with one, but I heard werewolves are real beasts in bed, especially close to the full moon."

Remus paled.

Daphne scowled at him and scoffed, correcting her posture to look just like a proper pureblood witch.

"Looks like we're going to have to ask my cousin, Pup." Sirius winked at Harry and Remus had enough, he growled.

"SIRIUS," he yelled at his friend, trying not to reach over and throttle him. His chest heaved as Sirius looked at him like he had no idea what he did wrong. Remus just let out a sigh.

"Sirius, please." He begged, "I would rather not start like this. I would love to run this session. Can I please do this without any distractions? Can you sit in the chair and listen for one hour?"

Sirius grabbed a chair and pulled it to the front, facing everyone else. Remus looked at him expectantly, but Sirius just waved his hand. "You may proceed."

Remus turned back around and locked eyes with Hermione. She looked at him sorrowfully, silently apologizing for something she had no control over. He appreciated the look anyway, he always did like Hermione.

"Now, as you walked in I asked all of you to write down an incident that you found offensive in the workplace. Now what I am going to do is choose one and act it out." He shuffled through and noticed all of them contained the same incident. The incident he happened to be sent here for.

"Will there be any rules for this?" Harry raised his hand but asked the question at the same time.

Sirius leaned forward in the chair, "Harry, why don't you run it by me first and I'll run it by Rem-"

Hem hem.

Sirius looked up and felt like he was getting lectured by a professor. He winked at Remus, "I will run it by Mr. …" He looked up at Remus.

"Mr. Lupin, Sirius."

Sirius barked out a laugh, "Well here's my first test. I will not call you that."

"It's my name, Sirius."

"Yeah, but if I called you Lupin, wouldn't I be just referring to you as a," He leaned in closer to Remus, "a werewolf?"

Remus shook his head, he knew the fight was not worth the headache. "You know what, we're going to move on. It looks like most of you wrote down the same incident. How many of you are familiar with Muggle Pornography?"

Everyone in the room raised their hands.

Interview: Sirius Black

"I don't understand how Muggles can have have actual sex on camera, and the Muggles believe that it is totally fine. But when I make a comment about Pornography and people complain to the Ministry about it. Is it because I'm a Pure-blood wizard?" Sirius's eyes bugged out and his mouth opened, "Is it because they think I'm old? They're ageists!"

"Now will someone explain exactly what happened?"

Sirius went to stand up, but Remus pushed his shoulder to sit back down. "How about we hear from someone else. Neville?"

He crinkled his nose and shook his head violently; Harry's hand shot into the air. "Draco?" Remus asked pleadingly, and Draco just shrugged his shoulders and pointed to Harry, "I think Wonderboy wants to."

"I'll do it then," Harry stood up and Remus grimaced. The thought of his best friend's godson speaking about Sirius watching porm made him want to retch.

"As you know, us wizards have Playwizard to help us with our needs. Sirius came to me one day saying that all of his copies were overused and he wanted new material."

"Not that there's anything wrong with the lovely witches in there, of course." Sirius interjected.

"Anyways, I told him about how Muggles have come up with this fantastic website called Pornhub." Harry ignored all of the groaning from the office, and Remus felt like he wanted to crawl into a hole.

"These Muggles actually have sex on video and allow others to watch. You know, to help with fantasies and making the experience more pleasurable."

Remus involuntarily flinched, he really did not want to be hearing this from a boy he once changed the diapers of.

"Sirius and I were talking about the videos," Sirius snorted. "That's a bit of an understatement, I may have been raving about them. I've never seen anything more interactive and vibrant before. It was heavenly," he gave a pleasurable sigh of relief and Remus felt his face warm up. He felt embarrassed for Sirius that his employees were witnessing him acting like a teenage boy.

"Sirius did say something pretty offensive though. He retold a video he watched of two girls dressed as witches. He said they were being," he eyes quickly focused on Hermione, "filthy mudbloods," he said with a wince.

Draco noticed Hermione's left arm twitch and gave her a quick reassuring hold on her hand, hoping to convey what he was really trying to tell you.

I'm sorry. You're not beneath anyone. I adore you.

Well, hopefully she didn't catch on to the last one. He gave her one last tight squeeze and released her hand.

Sirius, however; instead of being apologetic, let out a hearty laugh. "I'm sorry, I thought it was a perfect pun. Considering the nasty things they were doing to each other. I could take my eyes off her pert-"

"SIRIUS!" Remus bellowed in a commanding voice. Sirius knew that tone well. He knew his friend's wolf was close to the surface, and he needed to rein it back in to prevent agitating Moony.

Remus threw the broken chalk across the room.

Too late, Sirius thought.

"I cannot believe how immature you are being Pads. We fought in two goddamn wars to prevent people from using such slurs so casually." Remus was now pacing back and forth and pointing a finger in the old dog's face.

"The thing is, I know that you know better. You need to think about what you say before you it comes out of your mouth. One of your godsons best friends is a muggleborn. LILY. Lily was a muggleborn. Have you ever so casually thought of them as such before as well."

He stopped pacing and turned back towards the room. "I'm sorry everyone, I need to cool down for a while." He stormed out of the conference room, and Sirius winced when he heard the office door slammed close.

Sirius stood up sheepishly and went to go stand in front of Hermione, hating the way she refused to look him in the eye.

"Kitten," he said softly. She glanced over at him as he crouched to her eye level. "Hermione, I am deeply sorry. I did not mean to offend you in anyway. Do you think you could learn to forgive an old dog?" He gave her little smile.

"Yes, Sirius. But if I ever hear that word come out of your mouth again I will hex your bollocks off."

He snorted, "I wouldn't expect anything less, Kitten."

He stood back up and cleared his voice, pushing stray black curls out of his eyes. "After lunch we will reconvene and continue on with diversity day." He swiftly walked out of his room and into his office. Everyone else slowly made their way back to their seats to continue on with their work.

It wasn't even fifteen minutes later when Sirius reemerged from his office waving a stack of white note cards in his hand.

"Draco, come on! Everyone else is waiting on you." Sirius bellowed from the conference room. The employees of Merlin Nifflers were indeed herded back into the conference room. Draco wanted to close the sale with Mr. Saxton, but could not get ahold of him in the short amount of time he actually worked. He reluctantly stood up and joined everyone else, again, waiting to see what Sirius had in store.

He took the only seat available next to Gregory Goyle. Draco barely contained his laughter at Sirius's glare as Draco talked pleasantly to Greg. Draco didn't know why he hated him so much, but always made the situation amusing.

"In order to learn about different cultures, I have written out cards with different races. I want each one of you to place your card on your forehead, and others will go around and give you clues as to what that culture may be. I'll hand these out to all of you and we can begin. "Remember, honesty is key to overcoming ignorance. Open up. Push the boundaries."

Remus leisurely made his way back to the office. He knew he was a bit harsh on Sirius, but his friend needed to get it together. It personally hurt him, though, when he thought about Sirius referring to Lily as that word. He knew Sirius never would of, but his wolf reacted intensely to thinking of Hermione and Lily. They were two females that he cared for a great deal and would never stand for anyone calling them that. Even if it meant ripping out his friends vocal cords.

Well, that was mostly the wolf, but he couldn't lie and say he had never thought of killing Sirius in the past. Moony tended to get irritated quickly by Sirius's happy-go-lucky and playful nature.

As he walked back into the conference room, he noted that the chairs were pushed against the wall and everyone stood in the middle in pairs. He walked over to a snickering Sirius, who happened to be overwatching a conversation between Neville and Snape. Neville held a card to his head that read Centaurs, and when he turned to look at Snape he stopped dead. There on Snape's head read Greasy Git.

Remus lost it. He bent over in laughter and felt tears sting the corner of his eyes. When he stood back up, he noticed that Sirius stood proudly as Snape tore his card away and scowled at them. He patted Sirius on the back, Let's go have a quick chat alone, Pads."

"Mr. Saxton, I am so happy to get a hold of you. We didn't lose your sale today, right? Great." Draco smiled and looked at Hermione who gave him a thumbs up. "I'm sorry, what's that? No we didn't close last time. I just need… oh. Yes that's actually another salesman here. I can redo it if you would like. Oh, he gave you a discount? No, I don't blame you."

Draco hung up the phone and sat there staring at nothing in particular. He felt hands on his shoulders not long after.

"You okay?" Hermione looked at him tenderly. He reached up and grabbed her hand.

"Yeah. I'm fine now."

"What's up Moony?" Sirius directed Remus to the chair across his desk.

"Pads, I'm sorry for yelling in front of everyone earlier, but I'm not sorry for yelling at you. What you said is unacceptable."

"I know Moony, I really am sorry. I apologized to Hermione as well."

"You could get fired, Sirius!" Remus shouted. "You know how strict the Ministry is being after the war. I know how bored and lonely you were at Grimmauld Place with nothing to do. I don't want you to lose this job and see you fall back into that dark place. So I need you to do something for me."

Sirius nodded, "Of course, what can I do?"

"Sign this," Remus begged, "Just please sign this so I can go back to the Ministry and tell them you will stop with the offensive comments."

Sirius reached over and signed the paper quickly. "Done." Remus let out a sigh of relief before putting the paper in his briefcase.

"Now I think it's time I go apologize to everyone else in the office." Remus got up and left Sirius's office, shutting the door as he went. Sirius broke out into hysterics and looked at the camera.

"I wonder how long it will take him before he realizes I signed it Tinker Bell." His laughter became more raspy as he settled down, "He's going to be so mad."

He snickered again.

Once again everyone gathered together in the conference room to hear Remus's apologies. Most were understanding, or they just were glad to have the distraction from work again. Remus rambled on for a while talking to Sirius without dismissing the group. He watched as several people nodded off to sleep and he hoped that a nap would relieve them of any residual anger towards him for his disruptions.

Draco didn't mind the napping girl on his shoulder one bit. He let his head rest on hers just a bit, enjoying the feel of her soft curls on his cheek. He noticed that everyone seemed to be getting up to leave so he gently shook Hermione.

He felt as she came back into consciousness, but she didn't move her head from his shoulder.

"It's time to go, Granger."

"I'm sorry," she whispered and looked at him.

"It's okay, I promise."

Interview: Draco Malfoy

"You know what? Today actually ended up being a pretty good day."

A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed! I have so much fun writing this. I want to thank DiagonAli and Reyloclaw for their heavily influence on this story as well again. Please read and review! I love feedback!