Chapter One: Me... and Squishy

A/N: Hey, everyone! I've been wanting to start posting this story for a long time now, so I'm really excited about this! I don't have much else to say at the moment, so go have fun!

Also, this is literally the third (and final) fix of the chapter; I think it's ok now, and not so annoying.

Note: Not currently accepting OCs, but that may change.

Darkness retreated from the overworld as the glorious sun thrust itself over the horizon. Another day had come, and Crafters everywhere thanked their lucky stars that dawn had arrived. The smell of smoke and burning flesh filled the air as undead mobs stupid enough to stay in the light burned to crisps. A few animals emerged from their hiding places, and Crafters began to busy themselves with their daily tasks. They would race past the shrubbery and plant life, not even sparing the beauty around them a second glance. If they had, some of them might have noticed a foot dangling from a large oak tree, the body it belonged to concealed by thick, lush branches.

I turned another page of my book, so absorbed in the story that I paid no mind to what was happening around me. Jiggling my foot up and down, I let it hang over the ground. It was early in the morning, only about seven o'clock, but that was when our world got going. It was either you worked hard, or you died. So everybody who didn't want to die got up and got to work. Me, I didn't have to. I could get anything I needed anytime I needed it.

I rubbed my thumb on the cover of the book, enjoying the feeling of the smooth leather against my finger. I scratched my ear lazily, letting out a yawn. I probably should've slept last night, but I just couldn't put down the book! I was almost at the end of it now, and I planned on finishing it before I left the oak tree. Just then, my stomach growled loudly, and I cringed. Maybe the end of the book could wait till later. Right now, I needed food. I stuffed the book away, sliding out of the tree to land on something soft and... squishy?

"Hm?"

Startled, I glanced down to see a person, a guy, a very squishy guy, apparently, trapped beneath my gray miner's boots. I leapt off and stared at him in surprise. I've got terrible timing, you know. Leaning down, I cautiously prodded him with my finger, hoping I hadn't killed him. Squishy— excellent nickname, I know— groaned. "The heck was that?! A rhinoceros?" I blinked, suddenly feeling awkward. "Uh, no, that was me."

"What, are you obese or something? You weigh a ton!"

I kind of wished I was obese, just to get him back. As it was, I was resisting stepping on him again. He squirmed a bit, sending up bits of white dandelion fluff as he bumped the little plant. I suddenly sneezed, noticing, with some satisfaction, that some snot landed in his hair. Squishy flinched. "Ugh, what was that?!"

"Snot."

"What?!"

He began to get to his feet, and as I had no intention of helping, I stepped into some of the shadows leftover from last night and waited for him to go. Eventually, he did, glaring as he went and cursing all the way down the path. Once he disappeared around the corner, I looked around, hoping to find a convenient food source.

A pig chewing some grass over by another tree caught my eye, and I walked over to it. Patting it on the head, I scooped it up, turning to carry it back to my oak tree.

Minutes later, I held a bunch of raw meat in my hand, preparing to cook it. Then, I lit my hand on fire, a perfectly normal thing to do when faced with the dilemma of uncooked meat.

The smell of sizzling bacon filled the air, and I inhaled, sighing happily. An easy breakfast and I got bacon! Once the meat was a crispy, reddish brown color, I extinguished the flames engulfing my hand, ignoring the smoke curling off it. Biting into the crisp, flavorful bacon, I relished the flavor, chewing each bite slowly. I bet you wish you had bacon right now, too, right? I then proceeded to eat the whole pig by myself, savoring every piece just to spite the people on the other side of the fourth wall.

Finishing the meal, I glanced at the sky, deciding that it was probably around eight by now. "What shall I do today?" I mused to myself. The first thing that came to mind was bothering my brother, and the easiest way to do that was via bird mail. Well, that's what I called it, anyway. Making my way over to a rotting log, I gave a shrill whistle, scanning the area for anything moving. A moment later, a little green dragon, about the size of a cat, was racing toward me, and I held still, allowing it to perch on my shoulder. Grinning, I stroked the scaly creature's wrinkly chin, ignoring the pain coming from my shoulder as the dragon's claws dug into the skin there. "Hey, Pine, you wanna give a message to my brother?" I asked softly. The dragon chittered, winding itself down my arm to come to a rest on my lap. I chuckled, pulling out a piece of paper and a charcoal stub.

I frequently bothered my brother with letters, usually just jotting down whatever nonsense was floating around in my head at the moment. Today was no different, and soon I had a large scroll tied around the dragon's legs, and he had to jump a few times before actually becoming airborne.

Messenger dragons could be expensive, but I had plenty of money, enough that I could get pretty much anything I wanted. Most people used birds of prey, but I was partial to the little green and brown dragons you could sometimes spot flying around. They're a lot more intelligent than a dumb pigeon, at least. And faster, too. Maybe my brother would get my message at a really inconvenient moment, and Pine would land on his head again.

Grinning at the thought, I pulled at the brown hair hanging down in front of my eyes. I should probably get it trimmed, I decided. But that could wait. For now, I was content to keep on being me and doing absolutely nothing with my day.

Yawning again, I stretched my body, squirming and extending my limbs until I felt loose and comfortable. Then I got to my feet, looking around. The woods had fallen quiet, and I kind of like the peace the forest always has. Maybe I should go explore for a while. I shook my head at the thought, feeling too lazy to actually do something that required such a thing as movement.

With Pine gone, so was my only source of company, and my only means of bothering Steve. He's my brother, by the way, in case you didn't pick up on that. Yeah, I know, 'Steve, the hero of Minecraft, so amazing, maybe he'll sign my face with a permanent marker, blah, blah, blah.' I've heard it all before. Well, he's my brother, and he's a pretty-boy. That's all I have to say about him.

Well, if Steve is my brother, who does that leave, of the two of us? Yeah, surprise, I'm Herobrine. It's a pleasure not to meet you.

I rolled my white eyes, finally deciding to stop beating up that poor fourth wall and actually do something with my day. So what do I do? Wisely continue doing nothing with my day. Which pretty much entailed of me drawing a couple of deer in a sketchbook for two hours until I got bored.

Sliding the book and charcoal into the bag at my side, I stretched. Then, shaking the hair out of my eyes again, I got to my feet. "Hmm." I had, by far, passed the time limit I set for myself for time spent doing nothing, and, while I loved doing that, the food I'd eaten earlier was finally filling me with energy, giving me the will to actually get up and move around. There were plenty of activities just waiting for me to choose them, but I didn't really know what I felt like doing. Ever get that feeling? I felt like I had just done everything recently. Nothing really sounded exciting. Well... maybe I could go bother the village a few chunks away from here. Nothing serious, just a bit of a scare for one or two citizens. Maybe a 'sighting' or something.

I took my time getting there, observing the wildlife around me. Finally, I reached a crunchy gravel path instead of the soft, grassy ones I was accustomed to. Casually, I turned invisible and lifted off the ground. Hovering over the little village, I watched the unsuspecting Crafters go about their day. After a moment, I selected my victim— er, target— and gently floated over to a guy who seemed absorbed in staring at a blank piece of yellowed paper. People these days are so weird. I drifted down in front of his face, flipping myself upside-down. Then, I turned visible. Making my expression as bored as Herobrine-ly possible, I uttered a single word. One of my favorite words, in fact. "Boo." As quickly as I had appeared, I vanished again.

The resulting scream quickly got everyone's attention as they raced to see what happened. The guy I had startled was blubbering and cowering in fear. The other villagers all gathered around him, staring at the guy expectantly as they waited for an explanation. "H-He-He-Hero—!" A pretty girl with black hair looked at the boy in concern. "What is it, Mac?"

"Hero-h-he—!"

"Come on, spit it out! What?"

"HEROBRINE!"

That made everyone either panic or skeptical. Everyone was talking all at once, mostly arguing about the issue of me.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

"Herobrine isn't real! Stop being such a baby, George!"

"EVERYBODY RUN!"

"SAVE YOURSELVES!"

"Guys, he's just a joke that somebody made up to scare little kids."

Excuse me? Saying I'm not real is fine, but a joke?!

I'll show them.

So I popped into existence right in their midst, arms crossed tightly. "That's a bit rude, don't you think?"

And then there was chaos.

A/N: Ok, so I know there may have been a bit of confusion with this first chapter, what with me rewriting it three times and all, but I'm actually happy with the results this time. More story, less rambling. Sorry, and as an apology to you readers for being so confusing, I'll post the second chapter tomorrow. It's pretty much finished, anyway. So, sorry 'bout that, hopefully it won't happen again (Hey, no promises) and I can't wait 'til tomorrow. So thanks for dealing with the first chapter, guys!

-Mirror