Hello!
As some of you may know, July 31 marked the 37thanniversary of the release of Donkey Kong in the USA, hence the birth of Mario, known then by "Jumpman". I decided to make a tribute, combined with a more hurt/comfort theme of Bowser and the Koopalings being "misunderstood" and "demonized" by the games. I combined the tribute and the true feelings of the Koopalings into one song, modeled after Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire." Hence, I styled the song in the same way, to the point of even listing the years in the lyrics, for the Mario series, from its birth in 1981 to its current state in 2018.
This is probably my last one-shot for a bit. I PROMISE. Maybe. I also didn't focus as much on pacing, but this speed felt right to me also.
This is also my submission for Bowser Day (8/04) and Koopalings Week (5th to 11th). Enjoy!
Noise erupts from Ludwig's music room as five Koopaling brothers practice one of their newly-written songs. As they've done so, the chaos of offbeat music fills the room, causing Ludwig to then stand up.
"Halt! Halt! Zat vas terrible!" Ludwig criticized as he turns off his electric keyboard.
"You're telling me…" Iggy put the microphone back on the stand, "We really need Larry and Wendy in our band. I'm better at guitar than singing."
"Larry's busy with other gigs. I tried asking him," Morton sighed as he puts his bass guitar on the table near him, "Wendy's a No, and I don't know why."
"Did you threaten Larry?" Roy questioned from behind his drum set.
"Uhh, no."
"Den yer doing it wrong, man."
"Whatever," Morton states, rolling his eyes.
While the five koopalings bicker at each other, expressing topics from who sucked the most to who's the most talented, they hear knocking on Ludwig's door. The five silence themselves as they stare at the figure in the doorway.
It was none other than Larry Koopa, flier in hand.
"Larry!" Lemmy cheered.
"We need you, oh geez we need you!" Morton admitted.
"Come join us!" Iggy offered.
Although Roy and Ludwig remain silent, albeit expressing positivity over the sight of their youngest brother, Larry holds his empty hand in the air.
"Quiet, please," Larry commanded before stepping into the group, "My band's been facing drama lately, and I wanted to get away from them. BUT, I will only join IF we perform at this gig."
Larry shows his brothers the gig invitation, causing the others to gasp. The gig: the anniversary party of Mario: July 31 at 7:00PM.
"Mario?! No way! I pummel dat punk!" Roy spat.
"Why Mario? He's an enemy," Iggy mentioned, causing the older koopalings to all nod. Larry, however, shakes his head.
"No. You know what. I'm tired of being cannon fodder. I'm tired of constant invasions. I'm TIRED of being treated like an enemy everywhere I go due to the actions of our 'dad'!" Larry retaliated, causing the others to wince, "All I want to do is perform! And, uhh, spy and hack every so often. But all these stupid missions from Dad only destroy my dreams of booking gigs! So I want to fix my reputation and perform at Mario's!"
The elder koopalings exchange looks; they all wanted Larry's wish. They didn't like Mario or the Mushroom Kingdom's politics, but they also didn't want to spend their entire lives fighting them. All they wanted to do is this life-long passion for , Lemmy breaks the silence.
"I'm in, Larry!"
Larry grins as he eyes the rest of his siblings. Iggy then sighs before adding a nod.
"Me too."
The three rebelling koopalings stare at Ludwig, Roy and Morton – typically the three most enthusiastic about Peach kidnapping missions – before each of them throw in the towel.
"You're right. Performing's better," Morton conceded.
"Feh, Pops can handle da snatchings if he's replacin' us with Squirt Jr. Let's perform!" Roy huffed.
"You are correct, my younger brozzers. Ve possess much more purpose in our mortal lives zan princess abductions and fights. Our music vill be a fantastic mark on ze vorld," Ludwig admitted, "So… Vill you bless us with your presence, Lawrence?"
Larry grins before he leaves the doorframe and approaches the mic, "A promise is a promise. Let's do this, guys!"
The five elder koopalings cheer; with Larry's vocals, they now have hope of kicking their music careers into full swing. Now, if they somehow persuade Wendy to join, the Koopaling Band will be unstoppable.
"So…" Morton broke the cheer, "What are we performing there?"
"Well," Larry stated as he pulls out a rough draft of lyrics he written, "I was thinking this one. But we need music to it."
The five koopalings gather around Larry, each reading the words on the paper. Within minutes, Larry finds himself being hoisted into the air by the others as they all cheer.
"Hoo-ray for Larry!" Lemmy shouted.
"Dis might actually work. Nice work, Lar," Roy offered one of his rare compliments, in which Larry smiles at.
"I agree; zis marvelous piece of vork has potential. I vill compose music to it right avay," Ludwig agreed, "But ve may need to stay up late. Ze celebration's tomorrow night!"
"Well then, let's get started, and now!" Lemmy rushed.
The Koopalings all gather at Peach's Courtyard, unknowing to the Mario Brothers. Peach allowed the Koopalings to join after they explained their purpose to her, but she didn't inform either Brother about them due to her wanting it to be a surprise.
7:00PM comes and goes. Numerous acts performed in front of the Mario Brothers and the audience, from magic tricks to dance groups to comedians. From their area backstage, the Koopalings can tell the Mario Brothers were having the time of their lives watching their fellow denizens perform.
"Guys! Get ready!" Larry told his brothers, "We're up soon!"
Without a reply, Lemmy and Iggy pick up their guitars, Morton picks up his bass guitar, Roy seats himself behind the drumset and Ludwig stands behind his electric keyboard. Larry, meanwhile, stands poised behind the microphone.
As the last act gets off, Toadsworth walks onto the stage, carrying a large notecard.
"Thank you, Mushroom Three! Incredible performance!" Toadsworth thanked before reading his cue card, "Lastly, we have some surprise guests! Here to perform their original work "We Didn't Start Invasions", written by Larry Koopa and Ludwig von Koopa, please give it up for The Koopaling Band!"
Claps came while the curtains lifted, but from his facial expressions, the Koopalings know Mario's not pleased with their presence. From behind the mic, Larry sighs.
"Look. Things have changed recently, and I want this song to reflect that. Sometimes we treat the past as a blueprint for the future, but why do we? Sometimes we have to go out of our comfort zone just to make our future brighter. With this in mind, this song's dedicated to you, Mario."
The audience claps while Mario gives the Koopalings a surprised look.
"Well, quite the surprise here, hey-ho!" Toadsworth exclaimed, "Anyway, go on with your performance!"
As Toadsworth walks off the stage, Ludwig starts playing the melody on his keyboard. After a few measures, Lemmy, Iggy, Roy and Morton jump into the music, with Iggy doing the lead guitar and Lemmy doing rhythmic.
After about a half-minute of their introduction, Larry picks up the mic and starts singing.
Larry:
(1981), it's Jumpman, Pauline, hammers and Donkey Kong
(1982) Lawsuits, unrests, they won't stop his son.
(1983) Brooklyn plumbing, now Mario - and Luigi; Mario Bros. Fixing faucets, plunging toilets, clearing turtles
Instrumental
(1984) Donkey Kong, yet again, does his efforts ever end?
(1985) Bathtub warp pipe, Mushroom Kingdom, and its Princess Peach
Bowser, Mario, there's Luigi, Koopas disturbing the peace, Minus World, trolling Toads, goombas and lakitus!
.
Lemmy and Iggy:
We didn't start invasions!
It only arose
When the games are composed
We didn't start invasions!
No we didn't start em
But we always outsmart em
.
Larry:
(1986) The Lost Levels, poison mushrooms and Piranha plants
(1987) F-1 Grand Prix
(1988) Subcon, Birdo, seven invaded Lands.
watch out Kings, you're all trees, defeat us Koopalings
Boom'rang Bro, Fire Bro, guardin' the Magic Whistle
(1989) Daisy, Chai, Muda, Sarasaland hosts Tatanga
(1990) Dr Mario, Fever chill, kill the enemy, take the pill
Yoshi, Donut Plains, Vanilla Dome and Reznor.
Color switches, more cartoons, conquered Dinosaur World!
.
Lemmy and Iggy:
We didn't start invasions!
It only arose
When the games are composed
We didn't start invasions!
No we didn't start em
But we always outsmart em
.
Larry:
(1991) Typing teachers, gambling creatures
(1992) 6 Golden Coins, here's Wario!
Mario Kart, Battle Mode, different kinds of circuits!
Mario is Missing, my voice was creepy
(1993) Meet King Fret and Prince Pine, Jewelry Land in decline!
Instrumental
(1994) Seven hotels too many, Peach and lotsa spaghetti
(1995) Yoshi's Island, Kamek, Baby Luigi's been kidnapped
(1996) Smithy, Koopa Bros, Exor, the Axem Rangers
Baking a cake, getting kidnapped, jumping into pictures!
.
Lemmy and Iggy:
We didn't start invasions!
It only arose
When the games are composed
We didn't start invasions!
No we didn't start em
But we always outsmart em
.
Larry:
(1997) Yoshi's Story, easy game
(1998) Mario Party; star gains
(1999) Super Smash Bros, introduction of more foes
(2000) Mario's now Paper, Star Spirits now taper
Star Rod, Kammy, Bowser becomes supreme
(2001) Mansions, hauntings, now trapped in paintings
(2002) Bowser Junior, Shadow Mario, cleaning Isle Delfino!
.
Lemmy and Iggy:
We didn't start invasions!
It only arose
When the games are composed
We didn't start invasions!
No we didn't start em
But we always outsmart em
.
Larry:
(2003) Cackletta, Fawful
(2004) Shadow Queen dims the globe
(2005) Hero Peach, Shroob speak
(2006) Dry Bowser, Star Children
(2007) Rosalina, Blumiere
(2008) Sonic came to play fair
(2009) Koop'lings team with Junior, Mario inhaled by Bowser
(2010) More Galaxies
(2011) and 3D lands
(2012) Mario Party misunderstand
(2013) Luigi's Year
(2014) Mario … Kart … 8
(2015) Level builders
(2016) Koopalings and Color
(2017) Cappy, Tiara and marriage
(2018) More invasions planned like yore
We can't take them anymore!
.
Larry, Lemmy and Iggy:
We didn't start invasions!
It only arose
When the games are composed
We didn't start invasions!
No we didn't start em
But we always outsmart em
Always, always, always, always
Always, always, always, always…
We didn't start invasions!
It only arose
When the games are composed
We didn't start invasions!
No we didn't start em
But we always outsmart em
Always!
As the music wraps up, the audience gives the Koopalings a standing ovation. However, throughout the song, Mario only ponders. He always saw the Koopas as a ruthless, dictatorial species infecting Dark Land; he never thought some of them, let alone the KOOPALINGS, would be sick of their current lifestyle.
Perhaps he should give them the chance.
"That… Was… AWESOME!" Iggy cried as he holds a power star from the band's win in the Musical category. The five others nod, all proud of their victory.
"This will definitely land us more gigs, man," Roy agreed, "Da Mushroom Kingdom ain't fearin' us now."
"Especially because I'll be a permanent member now!" Larry stated, the others grinning at his decision.
"And so am I!" a feminine voice shouts from the distance. The six koopalings study their surroundings in confusion until they spot Bowser, Bowser Jr and Wendy all approaching them.
"Wait… Really?! You're joining the band?!" Lemmy questioned in shock as the others cheer her decision.
Wendy nods her head and smiles, "I felt the same way for, like, EVER! I talked to Daddy about it, and he said it was okay to back out of kidnappings. I always wanted to sing with you guys, but I totally got the kidnapping vibes from you all, and I didn't want to be around that. But I'm glad to see it's gone!"
The six brothers stare at each other in disbelief.
"… I'm taking you didn't tell him about not wanting to go on missions?" Wendy giggled, in which Bowser shakes his head.
"Sons, you should've told me. I just want all of you to be happy."
"Yeah," Junior agreed, "Do what you want, siblings, Papa can do well in battle with just me! But, I know you guys hate me, but I hope for your success."
"Hate?" Larry gasped, "Maybe I used to. And a lot. But it was you replacing us, Junior, who made me realize I didn't want to continue kidnappings. I wanted to get into music. If anything, I should be THANKING you, Junior."
The five brothers and Wendy all nod. Junior grins before giving the Koopalings a hug, in which all of them returned.
As the Koopas continue celebrating, Mario, Luigi and Peach approach the group.
"Your song… Was eye-opening," Mario murmured, "I'm willing to bury the hatchet with you Koopalings if you never harm the Mushroom Kingdom again. I'm not holding you to your dad anymore."
The seven Koopalings all exchange looks before they all smile at Mario.
"Deal! We'll try not to hurt them with music either!" Wendy agreed, resulting in Bowser, Junior, the Koopalings, the Mario Brothers and Peach laughing.
"That was such a lovely song. Thank you, Koopalings," after her giggling fit, Peach complimented in a much friendlier tone than Mario's as she puts both her hands over her heart, "I just want peace, and I'm sure you seven do too."
"We do," Larry replied, "We just want to tour."
As Peach nods, she then looks at Bowser, "And when did you get here?"
"Since forever. I was bringing Wendy here, then I planned to kidnap you with Junior, but that obviously won't work now."
"You'd be correct," Peach smiles as she walks towards her castle's front door, "Goodbye, Bowser."
Both Bowser and Junior sigh as Wendy then unleashes a grin.
"Now c'mon, brothers, we have music to produce and gigs to book!"
The six Koopalings cheer, thankful that all seven of them now involve themselves in the band.
Their music will truly invade the Mushroom Kingdom; they'll be at the top and unstoppable.