A/N: I received a prompt from Boris Yeltsin. He had a unique request for the effect a bit too much alcohol has on Amy. I won't reveal the specific request until the end of the story to keep from spoiling it. This is chapter 1 of 2. I hope you enjoy!

Amy's eyes skimmed down her body then scanned the crowd as she and her besties waited for entry into a hot new club in Hollywood. She was highly aware that her outfit didn't blend in with the others, but she felt better in knowing that even Penny's and Bernadette's clothes were much more modest than those of the younger women around them.

"How did I let you talk me into this?" Penny muttered to the shorter blonde.

"Because I'm not going to a club alone."

"But why this one? These other women look like they're barely out of high school. I feel so old."

"You look great. I'm the one with bags under her eyes and lactating breasts from dealing with two babies every day. All I ask is for this one night to forget about all my responsibilities." Bernadette gave Amy a withered look. "I suppose you're going to give me a hard time too?"

Amy shook her head. "It's not a place I would have chosen, but it's your birthday, and you deserve to have fun wherever you want. Besides, I think we're all in desperate need of this girls' night, if we ever get in."

They took a couple of steps forward as two women entered the building. A young brunette in the shortest dress Amy had ever seen flashed her ID at the bouncer and gave him a sultry smile. He barely glanced at the card before unlatching the velvet rope barrier.

Amy slipped off a heel and massaged her foot. "Perhaps we should give him our best 'come hither' looks too, if that's all it takes to gain entry so quickly. This wait is killing me; next time I'm wearing flats."

Bernadette peered around her. "Looks like he's letting the next ones in too. Amy, put your shoe back on. We're next."

The petite blonde stepped up to the rope and was greeted by the deep voice of a towering bouncer. "ID please."

She rummaged through her large handbag, pulling out Halley's snacks, some baby wipes, Kleenex, and makeup before finding her wallet. The bouncer looked from her license to her face and back again then handed the card back to her and unlatched the barrier. Bernadette waited for her friends before stepping through the door.

The trio squinted against the strobe lights pulsing to the music in the dimly-lit room. Writhing bodies circled the dance floor, while other club goers wandered the room, drink in hand, searching for their next sexual conquest.

"Still want to stay?" Amy shouted over the noise.

"We waited over 30 minutes, so I'm not leaving now." Bernadette surveyed the room. "There's a couch by the far wall. It might be quieter there."

Heels clicking against the polished tile floor, heads held high, they strode across the room with a purpose. Amy couldn't help pretending they were Charlie's Angels, a trio of strong, determined women. That thought quickly vanished when they reached their destination.

She ran her hand down the plush purple seat. "Ooh! This feels nice!"

"Be cool, Ames," Penny murmured, though she herself discreetly felt the fabric briefly before a young woman carrying a tray approached them.

"May I get you ladies a drink? Tonight's special is the watermelon martini."

"Do they come with those tiny umbrellas?" Amy asked excitedly.

"Not usually, but they do come with a small wedge of watermelon on the rim."

"I'll try one with an added pink umbrella, if that's okay."

"I'll request one for you." She jotted the order on her notepad. "What about you two?"

"I'll try the martini too, without the umbrella," Penny requested.

"What do you suggest for an overworked mother who finally gets to kick back and spend an evening with her friends on her birthday?"

"Happy birthday! First drink is on the house with proof of birthdate. You can choose any of our regular-sized cocktails, a glass of wine, or a bottle of beer."

"Tough decision. Can I think about that while you put in my friends' orders?"

"Certainly. There's a menu on the table if you need help deciding." The woman sashayed to the bar, flipping her long, blonde hair over her shoulder along the way, catching the attention of every male in her path.

Amy rolled her eyes then turned to the birthday girl. "Howard was okay taking care of the kids?"

"He was until they started screaming bloody murder. That's when I grabbed my bag and ran out of there."

Amy frowned. "You don't feel bad?"

"Raj is there; they'll manage. Tonight, Mama is going to enjoy herself. No screaming, no crying, no poopy diapers. I envy you two for not having to worry about any of that."

"It can't be that bad," Penny reckoned.

"It is. Cherish the alone time with your husbands before becoming parents because you'll hardly get a moment alone once you do."

The waitress reappeared with their drinks. "Have you decided yet?"

Bernadette shook her head. "Not yet. Do you have anything birthday themed?"

"We have a birthday cake martini. It has vodka, amaretto, white chocolate liqueur, and half and half cream with a rainbow sprinkle-dipped rim."

"That sounds perfect."

"Great! I'll verify your ID when I return."

As the woman headed to the bar, Amy took a tiny sip of her drink. "This is refreshing!" She tilted her head back and poured in a mouthful of the pink liquid.

"You might want to pace yourself there, Ames," Penny suggested.

"I almost forgot there was alcohol in here," the brunette admitted and returned to taking tiny sips as they chatted until the waitress returned.

"One birthday cake martini on the house for the birthday girl. I just need proof your birthday is today. Otherwise, it's $12."

Bernadette opened her wallet and furrowed her brow. "I don't see my license. It has to be in here," she fretted.

"Search your bag. Maybe it slipped out," Penny suggested.

The petite blonde withdrew every item from her purse, laying each one on the little table in front of them. "It's not here!" She panicked. "I must have dropped it after I showed it to the bouncer."

The waitress stood impatiently. "I'll need $12 for the drink."

"But it really is my birthday today. Do you have a lost and found? Maybe someone turned in my ID."

Penny rubbed her friend's arm. "Oh, Sweetie, I think if someone found it, they kept it to gain entry. I mean look at some of these women. Are they even old enough to be in here?"

Bernadette shrugged away from the touch. "It has to be somewhere. I won't accept that it's gone until we have proof."

"Miss, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to pay for this drink. I have other customers to serve. When you find your ID, just flag me down, and I'll get you another one."

Amy reached into her purse. "Don't worry about it. My treat. I was going to buy you one anyway."

"No! Put your money away. I was promised a free drink."

"Bernadette..."

"Don't Bernadette me," the birthday girl hissed at Amy.

The waitress pulled a walkie talkie from her pocket and mumbled into it. Moments later, a hulking man loomed over them.

"Which one of you doesn't have ID?"

Bernadette rolled her eyes. "It's just lost."

He glared at her. "I've heard that line before."

"Honestly! I was already carded outside. How else did I get in?"

"My colleague outside does a great job screening the crowd, but occasionally someone underage sneaks through."

Bernadette stood to her full 4 feet 11 inches, hands on hips, and tilted her head back to stare up at him. "Do you honestly think I'm not old enough to be here? I'm 35 years old!" She yelled.

Some nearby club goers stopped dancing and stared at the scene.

"If you can prove it, I'll let you stay," the bouncer told her calmly.

She dug in her bag and extracted her work name badge. "My credentials are on here. I wouldn't have a PhD if I was underage."

"Usually, that would be true, but Sheldon was only 16..."

Bernadette gave Amy a death glare then returned her attention back to the man. "Don't listen to her. She has a low alcohol tolerance and doesn't know what she's talking about."

The bouncer examined the card. "This doesn't have a birthdate. If you can't provide that, you'll have to leave."

She narrowed her eyes. "I can't find my license, but I'm not leaving."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "You can't stay without a valid ID."

When Bernadette stayed rooted to her spot, the bouncer reached down and picked her up.

She squirmed in his grip. "Unhand me this instant! I'm not a child! I'm married with two children."

"Everything she said is true!" Penny hollered.

The bouncer ignored her and strode to the exit. Amy guzzled down the rest of her drink, ate the watermelon wedge, and plucked the pink umbrella out before chasing after them.

"The nerve of him!" Bernadette huffed after he gently placed her on the sidewalk. "Treating me like a child, like a baby."

"I'm sorry, Sweetie. We can still have a good time. Do you want to go to a fancy restaurant?"

"No!" She stomped her foot. "I want my birthday martini!"

"Let's see if we can find your license, or maybe an honest person will hand it in," Penny reasoned.

Amy leaned against the building as she watched her besties, heads bent down as their eyes scanned the sidewalk. She twirled her tiny umbrella and stuck it in her hair like a flower then took a step forward and tripped, nearly losing her balance.

Penny frowned. "You okay, Ames?"

"When did Hollywood turn on its side?" She slurred.

"I told you to pace yourself," Penny muttered. "Guess I'm calling a cab."

While they waited, Bernadette continued to scour the area, but her license was nowhere to be found. Resigned, she climbed into the cab. Amy stumbled to the vehicle. She clumsily reached down and slipped off her heels. Penny grabbed her under the arms and helped her into the backseat.

"Where to, ladies?"

"Home to where my husband is. He's a brilliant physicist..." Amy babbled.

"Pasadena, please." Penny rattled off their addresses then sat back and sighed while Amy chattered incoherently, and Bernadette complained about the injustice of her short stature and porcelain skin.