You thought I was dead, but I'm not! :D

This is based on the amazing Gangster Apocalypse AU by kara-is-so-ninja on tumblr! It's an apocalypse AU, where the ninja all live together at a camp, as gangsters.

This one-shot is focused on Jay and Cole, but you can check out more of it on its official askblog, ask-the-ninja-gangsters!

(In case you are unfamiliar with this AU, it's worth-noting that Jay only has one eye in this!)

No matter how many days went by, Cole would never be able to get used to the horrifying image of mutants.

It wasn't just how they looked. Their aura, their smell, their screams… No human deserved to come face to face with mutants, but things weren't really looking out for them. Occasionally, they'd come across one on their way to Wu's, and it'd always feel as if Cole's heart stopped.

Cole knew there was no shame in being afraid; everyone was. Even Pixal, who was able to keep calm most of the time.

Cole couldn't imagine how Lloyd felt. Ever since he saw the mutation spread on his arm, he couldn't help but notice the hint of fear in the kid's eyes. The worst part was that they couldn't do anything to help him. He really needed to believe they could though, and he supposed this was why he always reassured Lloyd that.

Not to mention that it was nice to actually hear the words coming from his mouth. Not only because he was trying to convince himself, but because it was something other than the horrifying sounds of the mutants.

Usually, Jay would act like the blabber of the team he was and fill the silence with his nonesense, but for the past few days, the boy had been awfully quiet, and it worried Cole a lot.

Their camp wasn't very big, but it was big enough to fit them.

Cole could spot Jay resting against the side of an abandoned old car. It was odd, considering Jay always rested in his sleeping bag - he liked being as warm and fuzzy as possible - so Cole assumed he had passed out while working on one of his robots. That was until he saw Jay's body twitch.

Something was definitely wrong.

Without a second thought, Cole stood up and walked up to Jay.

He was careful not to scare him; Cole knew that Jay didn't appreciate being scared, especially from behind.

"Sparky?"

His friend jumped, turning around just so he could barely look at Cole with the corner of his eye.

Jay seemed to relax a bit when he saw the faint smile on Cole's face. Taking a deep breath, he turned around to face him. "Hey."

Cole almost cringed at the soreness in his friend's voice. "You alright?"

Jay nodded. "I'm fine," he mumbled.

"No offense, but you don't look fine to me," Cole said, sitting down next to him.

"I'm just… Tired." Jay bit his lip, his voice coming close to its breaking point. "That's… That's all, okay?"

"Hey," Cole said, extending his arm to rub Jay's. "You can tell me anything, you know? We're friends. Best friends. Nothing is changing that."

Jay opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, a tear rolled down his cheek, as he scanned the area.

Seeing the panic in Jay's expression, Cole decided to change the subject. "How come you aren't laying down on your bed?"

Jay huffed. "You call that a bed?"

"It's all we have. It does its job well for what it is," Cole scratched the back of his head. "Besides, it's actually comfortable and warm and…"

Cole couldn't help but notice Jay's expression change again. He was having a hard time identifying what the boy really felt - it was as if he was taken over by multiple emotions at once.

"Jay, what's wro-"

His suspicion was confirmed once Jay stormed into Cole's chest, interrupting him. With no hesitation, Cole wrapped his arms around Jay and pulled him closer.

"Are you okay, Zappy?" Cole whispered.

He felt Jay shake his head against his body. Cole knew that staying as silent as not saying a single word wasn't a good sign, especially for Jay.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cole asked. He knew it was a dumb question, as his friend was in no condition to speak.

"I think…"

That's why he was surprised when he got an answer.

"I think I," Jay sniffed, "I think I wanna."

Jay pulled away, his eye meeting Cole's, still filled with tears. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

Cole wrapped his arm around Jay, rubbing his side. "It's okay, Zaptrap, take your time."

Jay gulped, nodding. "Three months after- After the apocalypse started," Jay managed to say, "my parents and I were chased by... Some people, they had guns, but I don't really remember who they… So we were running and I turned around and…"

Jay gulped again, nuzzling closer to Cole. "So my eye was, y'know, and my… My parents, they," Jay's whole body started shaking, and more and more tears were formed. "They…"

"You don't have to continue, alright?" Cole pulled Jay closer to him. "I can tuck you into bed, and put the blankets in that cozy way you like, what do you say?"

"I don't want to be in bed right now..." Jay murmured. "Because sometimes, when I lay in bed, I can feel their arms around me, and yesterday was the day that… And I don't wanna feel their warmth because then I remember what happened and I-"

Jay cut himself off, not holding his tears back anymore, and breaking into sobs. He wheezed and coughed and hugged his legs while still leaning on Cole, not caring about how much noise he made.

Cole had never seen Jay cry this much before. He was always there to comfort him when he needed it, but he had no idea what he could tell him then.

It was as if Jay's sorrow was getting to him, because Cole could feel his own eyes water as well.

"Jay, I had no idea…" Cole mumbled, now hesitant about hugging Jay tighter. He said he didn't want to feel the warmth of his bed, what made the warmth of a hug any different?

His question was answered once Jay let go of his legs to cuddle against Cole better. The bigger male changed his position too, welcoming Jay in his arms once again.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours, but it was only a few minutes. Regardless, it was enough for Jay to calm down, until he almost looked asleep.

"Jay?" Cole whispered, glancing down at him.

Jay opened his eye, still red from all the tears he had shed, and looked up to Cole. "Yeah?"

"Do you…" Cole took a moment to think of how to word his thoughts. "Do you want me to let go of you? You said feeling warm reminded you of-"

"No." Jay shook his head. "I just want to stay like this."

Jay went back to resting his head on Cole's chest, but his sentence sounded unfinished. Cole decided not to push it, and leaned against the cold metal of the car.

"Because," Jay spoke up again, and Cole could have sworn he saw a faint smile appear on his face for a split second. "Because with you it's a different kind of warm."

The metal didn't feel cold anymore.