It starts off as a cold.
Just a cold, sniffles and a headache and not nearly enough to really even slow her down. She's not even sneezing for Maker's sake.
Everyone's concern is unfounded and unneeded.
Except maybe Lady Montilyet who has yet to coddle her like everyone else. Josephine had simply brought her some tea with honey, something to soothe her throat (which was not sore, at all) and left it at that. She considers the ambassador a better friend for understanding what she needs (or doesn't need, she supposes).
Josephine is kind considered words and actions, unlike Cassandra's blunt and brash attitude to everything. The ambassador is very much her opposite she feels, and there is an...interest there she cannot deny. Something small and fluttering that she doesn't understand at the root of it.
Whatever it is, Cassandra is grateful. Both for Josephine's lack of fussing and for the tea. It did help but she was fine and ready to go to the Storm Coast in a few days.
That's when she starts sneezing.
And coughing.
Still, she runs drills with the soldiers as usual (her chest was fine), and meet Cullen for lunch to discuss the morning.
"I'm fine," she says before he could comment on her cough. "It's already better."
Cullen simply nods and offers her some tea. Which is accepts as graciously as she can when her throat is burning. She's simply thirsty after training however and the warm liquid helps. They talk for a little while, Cassandra coughs for a little while too, but she feels fine she assures him. The cold air and running around after his soldiers this morning; some of whom are woefully slow she points out.
She thinks the worst of the fussing is over until Josephine seeks her out, falling into step with her as she leaves the smithy and heads to meet the others.
"Are you sure you're well enough Seeker?" she asks one Cassandra has blown her nose. Which is definitely not ladylike, but she was never one to care.
Josephine might but doesn't comment on it.
"I am fine Lady Montilyet," she says.
"I do wish you would call me Josephine Lady Seeker," Cassandra smiles, feels it stretch her face a little and she feels another sneeze.
"I will as soon as you call me Cassandra," she tells her, "and I am fine. I insist."
"Then, have a safe journey," Josephine says.
"Thank you."
They're about to part ways when Josephine stops her and hands her a small parcel.
"Just in case you are not fine...Cassandra," she says before scurrying away into the main hall, a little redder than before and Cassandra wonders why the ambassador would be embarrassed by giving her something. She checks the bag to find a jar of Antivan honey, some more of the pastilles for her throat and some chocolate. The ambassador is too kind, she thinks, and she is fine.
She manages to stifle a cough as she joins the others.
Xxx
Cassandra has returned home early.
Josephine knows it's because the seeker is ill. And stubborn. And as soon as she's done with her meeting she gathers up the last of her honey, some tea leaves and a pot, some more pastilles and heads up to the armoury.
She's hoping once more of the fortress is repaired that the Seeker will take one of the rooms. Josephine has one now, and there are a few more available but the seeker seems reluctant to take one from somebody who needs it.
Josephine is of the firm belief that Cassandra both needs it and deserves
Until then she heads up the steps to the room above the smithy. She considers the idea that the other woman may be more comfortable here, it's certainly warm and it suits her in a way, but she definitely deserves something a little better.
A real bed, for one thing, she thinks as she reaches the very top and sees Cassandra asleep on a cot.
"I came to see how you are Lady Seeker," she says, placing her things on the table. Cassandra doesn't reply, and when Josephine is closer she can hear how laboured her breathing is.
"Maker, Cassandra," Josephine gasps and drops to her knees beside the seeker. The woman is paler than Josephine has ever seen her, a sheen of sweat over her skin and every breath seems to be a gasp. She seems to be asleep and the ambassador shakes her awake. Cassandra simply groans and coughs, a hacking noise that terrifies the younger woman.
Forgetting the tea things, she stands and heads back down the stairs in search of help.
She returns with a mage and a soldier, demanding that the former heal her friend and that the latter help Cassandra to Josephine's room. Cassandra is all muscle and strength and Josephine can tell without touching that she would never be able to even pull the seeker to her feet, let alone get the mostly unconscious woman to her quarters.
The mage goes to fetch some supplies, promising to meet them in the ambassador's room and the soldier manages to drag Cassandra to her feet and get her down the stairs while Josephine gathers the things she brought and follows.
She has the solider go the long way around, the quiet away. She knows Cassandra well enough to know that this would embarrass her, to be seen like this, weak and sick in front of the Inquisitor and their friends, in front of the other soldiers. One is already too many and Josephine forbids her from speaking about it.
Lest Cassandra find out.
she nods and places the seeker on Josephine's bed.
Cassandra's not in full armour, just her breastplate and leathers and she's struggling with the straps when the mage returns with several flasks, a book and his staff. Josephine tries not to panic when she sees it and concentrates on pulling the breastplate off Cassandra. She manages, placing it carefully aside and wonders what else she could remove.
What else she should remove.
She decides on her boots and has them both off when the mage is ready.
"I'm going to cast a healing spell but she really needs to drink both these flasks. In full."
Josephine nods and steps back to let the young mage work. She watches as the green light fills the room and has to close her eyes to it for a moment. When she opens them again it is gone and Cassandra is the same.
"She should wake soon, for a little while," the mage says, "then she needs to drink both flasks. Sometime tomorrow she should drink another one. I'll come back though, and see how she's doing..." he pauses, "unless you want me to stay."
"No, I…she won't die."
"No, but she's very ill, it going to take a few days. I'm going to brew a stronger potion just for the chest, something a Ferelden mage taught me for winter coughs."
"Thank you Harell," Josephine says, and the mage is startled for a moment.
"You're welcome, Ambassador. I'll return later but you know where to find me."
The mage takes his leave and Josephine considers her next move. She has Cassandra in her bed, sick and for a moment she just listens to the other woman breathe wondering if it really does sound better of is she's just hoping it is.
Either way, a fire is needed and Cassandra cannot sleep in her leathers and Josephine isn't sure this was a good idea.
She didn't really think about it though, she just did it. And she rarely acts on impulse.
She finds Cassandra causes all sorts of reactions in her that she doesn't really want to consider right now.
Instead, she jumps into action and starts the fire, brews some tea and begins the task of stripping Cassandra out of her leathers.
Xxx
Everything is soft. Soft and green.
Her chest hurts, burns and every cough steals her breath, but everything is green.
Except when it isn't.
She can only really open one eye and she's pretty sure she's hallucinating. There is a pretty gold figure bustling around her and the most beautiful song. She wants to follow it around the room, follow the sound but it's gone and someone is calling her name.
Josephine.
Josephine who is gold and soft and singing, who comes up to the bed signing something Cassandra doesn't understand and smiling at her.
Josephine who kisses her and it's unexpected and Cassandra kisses back, both eyes closed again, thinking this was not what she ever expected.
It is not unwelcome.
They kiss for a long time until Cassandra falls asleep to Josephine singing again.
Xxx
Cassandra is shifting in the bed, muttering. Turning and coughing. Her breathing is a little better, that much Josephine is sure of but now the woman seems to be even more fevered.
She had been tidying a few things away, singing Antivan lullabies when she noticed and Cassandra is definitely trying to say something. She comes and sits on the edge of the bed next to her, watching for a moment, before smoothing some of the black locks from her face. She's warm, far too warm, but shivering too.
Josephine is torn between running for the mage again and waiting this out. Perhaps she should seek out one of the others, Leliana or the inquisitor.
Then Cassandra seems to settle.
Josephine takes a deep breath then, listening carefully as the seeker breathes, still harsh and hurting if the way she groans is any indication. The knock on the door is a welcome distraction before she descends into madness she thinks.
"Josie," Leliana says through the door, and the ambassador siles as she lets her friend in. "how is she?"
"I'm unsure. Harell will return later but she will not wake long enough to drink the potions he left."
"Has she woken at all?"
Leliana heads to the bed and looks over Cassandra, the seeker pale and sick is unnerving to them both Josephine realises.
"I thought for a moment she was but no, it was a fever dream," she says, "I was thinking of calling for the Inquisitor and Solas the return. Perhaps they could help."
"They can do no more than the mage healer," Leliana says, "she will be fine."
She turns then, to face Josephine, her attention on Josephine and the ambassador always finds that a little unnerving too. Even after all these years.
"And how are you?"
"I'm
fine," she says, turning away from Leliana smile.
"Come now Josie," her friend says. "I know how you feel about Cassandra."
Josephine grumbles, pretends to sort some of her personal papers, ignores the way Leliana watches every move.
"She is my friend and I care for her, that is all," she says, feeling the lie settle uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach. Leliana sighs and with a last glance at Cassandra moves to sit on the chaise lounge. Josephine sits beside her.
"She will be fine," she tells the ambassador and Josephine nods. Leliana's confidence is comforting. "Do you want me to stay a little while?"
Josephine looks over at the bed where Cassandra sleeps. She would like the company.
"Please," she says.
Xxx
Everything hurts.
From the crown of her head to her toes, everything she aches and then she coughs and tries to breathe and that, that is the real pain. She groans when she's done and the gold is back, but when she can focus she can see that it's just Josephine.
"Cassandra, can you hear me?" Unsure whether she can speak she simply nods. "I need you to sit up Cassandra so you can drink something."
"Tea?" she croaks and Josephine smiles.
"Potions first," the ambassador says and Cassandra starts to sit up but struggles. Josephine comes to her aid once more, wrapping an arm around her and lifting her up a little. When she's mostly prone, leaning back against the headboard, she realises she's no longer in the armoury.
"Josephine?" she asks but the ambassador just shakes her head.
"Wait," she said, before handing her a flask. "Drink this."
She needs help, her arms are weak and the small flask is suddenly an anvil in her hand. Josephine helps though, even as Cassandra blushes with embarrassment. She drinks it down, the bitter elfroot welcomed and is immediately handed another.
"And this," Josephine says.
Cassandra nods and manages the second flask herself. This one is not as bitter, there's a savoury taste she doesn't recognise but is familiar.
She's already closing her eyes before she can ask.
Josephine helps her lie back down again, and Cassandra looks up at her one last time before she falls back to sleep and remembers something.
"You kissed me," she says and Josephine blushes bright red. "Or perhaps I was dreaming."
"You were dreaming," Josephine confirms and Cassandra frowns.
"It was a good dream," she says before falling back to sleep.
xxx
Josephine is confused and anxious.
Cassandra's breathing is certainly better, and she coughs less and she even seemed mostly lucid when she was awake. But still is still hot to the touch, and still sleeping and still pale.
On top of that, there are now her feelings to consider too. Feelings she is normally very good at ignoring, or even denying when necessary. And now is not the time to be dwelling on her attraction to the very fit, but very sick Seeker.
Except apparently, Cassandra seems to feel something too. Perhaps.
Josephine isn't sure and cannot find out the answer, and that she finds more frustrating than anything. When the seeker is well again, and out of her bed, they can revisit this, and perhaps she can get Cassandra back into her bed but until there is nothing to be done.
Except to sleep herself she thinks. It is late, Herrell has been by with another two flasks for Cassandra to drink. He performed another healing spell too, the green light stirring the sleeping woman for a moment. He considered her in much better health but still needs another two flasks of potion, still needs more care.
Josephine's care and she's more than willing to give it.
Whatever Cassandra's feeling, Josephine is clear on her own. The crush she had on the other woman has developed into something much deeper since their first meeting in Haven. When Leliana had introduced them with a smile, then a smirk and wink for Josephine because Maker curse her Leliana knows Josephine has a type.
Cassandra is brave and beautiful, and tone and temper and Josephine did have a chance if she's honest with herself.
So now she's pretty sure she's in love with the other woman, who is sick in her bed and having fever hallucinations about her.
Josephine has no idea how she gets herself into these situations sometimes.
There is nothing to be done for now, the rest of her work is in her office and she does not wish to leave Cassandra alone in this condition (or perhaps at all). She strips down to a shift and some leggings and settles with a blanket on the chaise lounge.
Perhaps she will dream of kissing Cassandra, recently her dreams have been of red templers angrily brandishing paperwork and it would be a nice change.
xxx
It's dark when Cassandra wakes again. Pitch black for a moment until her eyes adjust. There are embers glowing the fire, and a little moonlight coming in the window, under the door, but it is dark and for a moment she's disorientated because she is in a bed.
Sitting up she takes in her surroundings, the shadows hide most of the room, but she spies the silhouette of a lantern nearby and reached out for it. There are matches too and she knocks them off whatever furniture is by the bed. Scrambling after them she realises she is much, much better.
She doesn't want to cough any more, not everything hurts and she can breathe easier than she has been able to for days. She experiments with a deep breath but it has her coughing immediately and she regrets it.
"Cassandra?"
Josephine's voice is sleepy and lost in the darkness. Cassandra reigns in her breathing once more to find the matches and light the lantern at her side. The room lights up a little, enough to sees the ambassador sitting up on the chaise lounge, rumpled and a little dazed but not less beautiful for it.
And for those thoughts to so easily slip into her mind, Cassandra knows she's not quite well enough yet.
Something, a memory, a kiss, a dream, something sparks and she blushes in the low light, manages to push it back for in favour of concentrating on her friend.
Her friend.
"How are you feeling?" Josephine asks standing up. She walks over to Cassandra to lay a hand on her cheek and the seeker feels like she's burning up inside.
"Much better, thank you," she manages, "where...where am I?"
"In my quarters," she says, sitting on the edge of the bed, "I thought you would recuperate better in a proper bed."
"I appreciate your care, Josephine, I can return to the smithy now."
Josephine chuckles and shakes her head.
"No, not yet. It is late and you are still unwell."
She reaches for the first flask, the green liquid almost glowing in the lantern light.
"Drink this please," she says, and it's an order if Cassandra ever heard one but she complies, and drinks the second one handed to her.
She has questions. She wants to know how she got here, how many people know she's sick, how long she's been here. Who stripped her out of her clothing? But she decides it can wait. She hands Josephine the empty flask and smiles.
"Thank you," she says. "I am in your debt."
"Not at all, you are my friend, I would do this for anyone."
Cassandra is sure that's true, Josephine is kind and caring and patient. Cassandra would do this for the other woman without question but she can think of only two or three other people she would this for.
If that.
"All the same..." she's not sure what she wants to say, she wants to move. To either run away from this moment or to face it head on but she's unsure of Josephine for the first time since Leliana introduced them in Haven with a smile and smirk and wink as if she knew, she knew, Cassandra would develop feelings for the woman.
"You should get some more sleep. Harell wants to perform another healing spell on you in the morning."
"Wait, I cannot turf you from your own bed." Cassandra is brave, too brash but rarely bold but continues on, "come lie with me."
She shifts across and Josephine is bright red and she thinks, she thinks the ambassador might feel something similar.
"I, can't, it wouldn't be...appropriate"
"Tsh," Cassandra grumbles, "it matters not."
Josephine considers it for a moment, barely a moment before nodding, blushing still and slips beneath the soft quilt. She turns the lantern back off and settles down next to Cassandra. They were quiet and tense for a moment, and the seeker isn't sure this was such a good idea after all.
But then, the other woman shifts a little closer, wraps an arm around her waist and relaxes. Cassandra manages a deep breath without coughing and feels the tension leave her too.
"You dreamt about me," Josephine whispers in the darkness. "Do you remember?"
Cassandra nods, then remembers the ambassador cannot see her.
"Yes, you kissed me."
"You said it was a good dream."
"I stand by that statement."
Josephine giggles and moves again, kissing her on the cheek.
"I would consider that a good dream too," she says.
Cassandra realises that this, this is a turning point, something significant in her life she cannot turn away from. She recognises the feeling, the sudden and intense need do so something. So she turns onto her side, hand settling onto Josephine's waist, squeezing gently and leans forward, searching out her lips in the darkness.
The kiss, quiet and gentle for a long moment, the darkness a blanket that protects them, protects this.
"This is better," Cassandra whispers when Josephine pulls away.
She thinks now would be a good time to confess everything but she doesn't have the words, nor does she really understand the feelings just yet. Except she is better, so much better and Josephine is everything.
"May I stay?" she asks, suddenly shy, "until I am well?"
Josephine kisses her and Cassandra wishes she could see her pretty face. For the first time she is sure she will not be rejected and wants to know what that looks like.
"My lady," Josephine says, "Cassandra. You may stay forever."
Cassandra
kisses her them, rolls Josephine onto her back and melds their bodies together happy and desperate and delighted.
Until she starts to cough again, rolling away.
Josephine is there, curling her shorter body around her, rubbing her back gently and soothing her until Cassandra is calm and no longer coughing.
"Sleep first my love," Josephine says. "I will be here in the morning."
Cassandra believes that, feels it deep in her bones and when she turns back she whispers.
"I love you."
Josephine confirms it, affirms it, returns it and wrapping her arms around Cassandra, they settle back into the bed.
"I will be here every morning."
It's the last thing Cassandra hears before she falls back to sleep.
