Chapter 24: What's the Job?

Okay, I just wanted to get this posted, to let you know all my stories are going on hiatus. There is a medical emergency going on in my house and I have to tend to it and stories are not a priority. Sorry.

If you can say a quick prayer for health and happiness to my Uncle. He's Christian and would appreciate the support.

HP-BTVS-HP-BTVS

After a long talk with Luna about popping wherever she wanted, Xander sent her home. She was now living with him and Harry, after spending a few weeks with her dad. She had been closely monitored by Dobby, making sure she ate and such. Still, she was now living with them, in a converted room, that used to be the study. Since she was a witch and held no paper trail in the non-magical world, he didn't have to go through Child Services.

Xander, Joyce, Sal and Nic all sat and drank hot cocoa. They were waiting for Spike to come back from his dip in the lake, so they could let him know what they wanted him to do first. Sal and Nic were going over the potions they would need to give the vampire and how different they might be from the normal ones. They would have to scan him to make sure that the normal would be effective. Still, it was an easy task, but the differences might be jarring if caught unawares.

Spike came back after his swim, hair slicked back like normal and fully clothed now. He came through the window, plopped himself on the bed, tucked his hands behind the back of his head, and looked at all the magicals, and said, "Why did you bring me here?"

"Like Luna said, there's going to be a Dark Lord running around soon, and while you don't have to deal with him, I need some help keeping his minions in line," Xander answered, a serious expression on his face.

"Kept in line how?" the vampire wanted to know. Not that he minded roughing people up, he just wanted to know the limits to such a… venture.

"How ever you choose, short of killing. Just don't let me hear about you getting caught doing illegal things," was the answer.

"Oi, I don't do illegal things… anymore. Well, not many… might be best you give me the laws and such. That way I know what not to get caught at," Spike said, thinking of all the mayhem he could do. He hoisted himself off the bed and grabbed and empty chair. Might as well pay attention. Who knows what he might miss if he was too comfy?

"I'll get them to you, Spike," Joyce said, patting his arm and smiling at him. It was good to see him healthy and whole.

"I wanted to add one more rule," Xander said, thinking of something that he hadn't wanted to mention in front of Luna.

"Wot, more rules? Give it up, Harris, I don't follow rules. At least not ones I don't like," the blond said, taking out another lolly and popping it in his mouth. They were a yummy treat. Too bad they hadn't had these back home. Would have made a fine snack. Dru would have loved these.

"This one Joyce will agree with me on," the carpenter stated. "No seducing the students. I don't care if they are of age, everyone here is jailbait as far as you're concerned."

"I concur," said Joyce and Salazar.

"I don't want another drama unfolding," Xander added pointedly.

"It's not my fault I'm Love's bitch," Spike grumbled around his sucker. He still couldn't believe the major mess his and Buffy's 'relationship' was. Love's bitch indeed.

"Still, keep it in your pants while at the castle. Go molest those who can deal with you. Leave the students alone," Xander demanded. "Not that you'll be seeing them much, but there are teens that wander the halls at night. It'll be part of your job to make sure they get back to their dorms. You'll be given the same power are our caretaker, Filch, he can give detention and remove points – I'll explain later. Just don't seduce them," he explained.

"I'm not a sodding nanny," Spike protested.

"Don't worry, Spike, you only have to make sure they get to the dorm, tell one of us, or a teacher, and it's out of your hands. Besides, you'll like Argus," Joyce said, with a beaming smile. "He likes to torture too," she added like she was giving him a present.

"Yeah, you two can bond over that," Sal added, leaning forward a bit in his chair, to relief his back from sitting too long. "Fun as this all is, I've got things to do. Like make your potions. So, I'd like to run a scan on you," he added, stretching a bit.

"Why?" came the wary reply.

"To make sure we're giving the right potions. We don't want you keeling over due to the wrong stuff," was the answer.

"You're gonna point that funny stick at me again?" Spike wanted to know. Realizing he'd have to get used to that from now on.

"Only for a moment," Sal said, getting up and retrieving his wand from his inner pocket. "Stand over there, if it makes you feel better." He waved to a corner behind Spike's chair.

"Fine," the blond huff, heaving himself out of his chair and standing a good ways away.

Sal waved his wand and got the information he needed. He then pocketed it and turned to Nic and nodded. "Now that we know… Spike is okay. I'm off to make his potion. Nic, you want to join me. We can get Perenelle on the way," he asked as he looked at his friend. They had been waiting far too long for the vampire, in his opinion. Not that anyone asked for it. A thousand years old, and he still got no respect. Sure, he slept for most of it, but really.

"Sure, I'm sure she's just as bored as we are. You would think that with a vampire there would have been more exciting. Oh well," the French man got up to join his new friend.

"Sod off," Spike said, flipping them the bird, as he flopped down in his chair again.

"See, now that's more like it," Sal said with a grin and a return gesture. With that the two left the room.

"The first job I want you to do, is to cause chaos for one Lucius Malfoy. He's been a thorn in my side since day one. So, do what you can to make his life hell," Xander said after his friends had left.

"Wot kind of torture are we talking about here?" came the wary question.

"I don't know, that's your department. Seduce his wife or something. You guys look similar enough you could pass as a long lost relative. Do both, call it a pureblood thing. You figure it out, just make sure you cause political and mental damage. If you can hurt him financially, that would be great too. Just think of something," Xander exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

"Might be a bit of fun, that. So, wots the pay?"

"Well, I can pay you in the money they use. That'll get you things you need, smokes, Blood Pops, and clothes and stuff," Joyce said, thinking of all the things Xander needed when he came here. Not that Xander smoked, but his Twinkies were pricey.

"Should have thought of those things before you brought me here, Harris." He directed the comment toward Xander.

"I did, which is why you'll be paid. I made this room for you, dammit. Be grateful," Xander snapped back.

"Who made this room?" Joyce asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I built the furniture and stuff," mumbled Xander, looking at the wall and not at her.

"No, you magicked the furniture," she rebutted.

"It was still made with my hands," he argued back.

"Fun as this is, seeing Xander brought to task, is this room where I'll kip? I mean, while I'm not doing your dirty work," Spike said, cutting in on their banter.

"Yes, you can sleep here, or anywhere you want. We made this room so you would have a safe haven. You don't have to stay, but I would really prefer it if you would," the embodiment of Hogwarts said, with a gentle smile.

"Not like I've got anywhere else to go," the vampire grumbled as he crumpled under her smile. He always was a sucker for mum types.

"I'll have Hagrid show you around," Joyce said, beaming at his compliance. "You can meet Argus tonight, and get a lay of the castle. You don't have to start on your projects until your more comfortable around here." She got up and patted him on the shoulder as she passed his chair.

Xander got up too and said, "Yeah, comfortable. Just don't kill anything unless you ask first. Wait, don't ask Hagrid, he thinks anything is cute and fluffy. Anyway, there's a three-headed dog, a dragon, and a few ghosts running around. I thought you'd like to know that. You know, so you don't get scared or anything." He smirked at the vampire.

"I don't sodding get scared, Harris," Spike snarled at him, getting up and following Joyce, who was making her way to the stairs.

"The school is mostly empty right now, so you have free run of the place," she said as she climbed the stairs.

"It's bloody big, gonna need a month to get it all straight," Spike complained, following along. When he got to the top of the stairs, he looked around in shock. It was Buffy's old home. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, there weren't many good memories attached to this place.

"Welcome home, Spike," Joyce said, sliding her arm over his shoulder, and giving it a squeeze.

Hphphp

Luna made it home, pouting. Harry, who had been waiting for her, startled at her sudden appearance.

"So, what's he like?" the boy asked as he escorted her to a chair. He took the opposite one and leaned forward.

"Spike is going to make an excellent big brother," she said dreamily, like looking at a future picture of family bliss.

"Big brother?" Harry asked, not sure how to take that. He didn't have good memories of relatives. He hoped this Spike was nothing like Dudley.

"He's going to cause so much trouble," she added still with a faraway look.

"For me, or Dad?"

"No, for just about everyone else," she answered, coming back to herself. "You're going to have fun with him, don't worry." She reached over and grabbed his hand and swung it between them.

"What kind of fun?" Harry inquired, a wary look in his eyes.

"The kind that's going to make Daddy yell a lot, but you will learn so much. You're going to need it later, so just go with the flow," she said, still swinging their hands.

"I'm not sure I want Xander to yell at me," the boy mumbled, but knew that Luna only told what she saw if it was important.

"He'll get over it," was her reply.

"Still, what's he like? Is he like the vampires here? I read about them, and they don't seem too scary," Harry kept up his questioning.

"Spike has never been a normal vampire, even in his own world. He's the only vampire that could love," she said, letting go of his hand and calling Dobby.

The little elf popped in and said, "Dobby is needed?"

"Yes, Dobby, can I have a glass of lemonade?" she asked politely.

"Dobby can do," the little guy said, snapping his fingers. A tray appeared with biscuits and two glasses of the drink.

"Thanks, Dobby," they both said, reaching for the glasses.

"It is not being a problem," Dobby answered and then popped away.

"Well, tell me what he looks like?" Harry inquired, hoping to get a feel for the man… vampire.

"He looks like Billy Idol," she said, staring at a spot on the wall.

"Really?" he asked, then paused. "How do you know what Billy Idol looks like. Is he a wizard?" came the confused question.

"Who is Billy Idol?" she asked instead of answered.

"A punk rock star," Harry said, more confused than ever.

"Oh, I only know the name because Mummy Joyce and Daddy Xander were talking about him," she stated, clearing up the confusion.

"Oh well, that makes sense," was the relieved reply.

"We should go to bed," Luna said, standing up and wandering to the stairs.

"Why?"

"Daddy Xander is going to be home soon, and he wants time to think about things," she answered, heading towards her room. Harry followed and then gave her a quick hug goodnight.

He then went to his room and wondered just how much trouble a vampire could be.