A/N: Hello! I'm back with...whatever the hell this is! XD I hope you read this and take away something from it. Your future is yours. Live it the way you want to live it and live it happily! :) Anyway, on to the story! Hope you enjoy.

Ten years seems like such a long time frame when you look back but in reality, it's actually so short compared to her infinite lifespan. She could die, of course, on the battlefield and in so many different ways, too…..But she wasn't mortal and ten years to her was nothing. For Ichigo? It was so much more than that. She hadn't realized the extent of time until she saw him standing in the clinic doorway, arm against a glass door, and still the same Ichigo but older. Those compassionate eyes were the same and that orange hair was as vibrant as always. But there were more lines and creases where there hadn't been.

His abs from lack of fighting had lost their taut firmness and he looked….Happy. For some reason, that had stung her. At first she played it off that she had thought he would have missed her more than that – as much as she missed him, thinking of all those lonely nights spent up weeping and contemplating. Time drug on as it always did, ticking like a clock, until one day, Ichika was no longer the eccentric 5 year old but as another ten years passed, that little girl became Rukia's 15 year old lieutenant with the shocking, spiky red hair and her own set of branded tattoo's.

She wore the lieutenant badge with pride and a wide grin that Rukia had vowed to herself she would fall in love with. That little girl had become a teenager – which was still nothing compared to how long her daughter would live but Rukia didn't know how to tell her how lonely those years would be…..Unless…..It was only she that remained lonely – and as powerful as her parents, often pushing her Ba-ji-ji to his limits. Her Bankai had yet to make an appearance but Shunsui was positive she would hit the mark before she turned 18.

There was a husband who loved her, a brother who had proven his affection, a daughter to be proud of, a family that should have made her want nothing else, and she wore the white Captain's robe – oh how she missed Ukitake and sometimes still wept for him – that was more precious than anything she truly owned. And yet…..The more time passed, the more ten years flew by her, that deep abyss inside of her became only more empty, yawning only wider. She should be happy and yet…...She was not.

She loved Ichika more than she needed air to breathe, unable to regret that powerful little girl that had come from her, and she didn't regret marrying someone who loved her unconditionally. Renji loved her and he knew she wouldn't be able to love him back, not completely and not the way he loved her. Rukia had thought, over the last 20 years, she had been discreet about it all, had hidden the secrets of herself locked in that deep, icy place she never went to any more in fear of facing the things she was running from – sometimes, Shirayuki would give the starry, moonlit night a wistful, longing look and Rukia had to clench her fists tight to ignore her zanpakuto spirit's loneliness that echoed of her own.

On those nights, it had taken everything in her not to dwell on the past. But memories were horrible creatures that clawed at her mind, leaving behind deep, scarred grooves that ached every time her mind even wandered over them. She had thought no one had noticed but she had been wrong. This night, staring up at the speckled navy sky, she had never expected to come face-to-face with the truth she had shoved aside.

At the soft footfalls, she smiled and glanced over. Striding across the engawa, her small bare feet hitting the wood with a quiet thump, was Ichika. Her red hair – usually piled into a spiky bun or twisted into a ponytail that towered above the back of her head like red flames – was tied in a braid that dangled down to the middle of her back. Her white sleeping yukata was tight around her to protect her from the cold winds that rustled in the trees, stirring the grass of the Kuchiki Gardens. Arms crossed over her chest and eyes focused on her mother, Rukia thought she looked so much like her father that they could be twins.

She watched the teen approach her, expecting Ichika to clamber into her lap for a cuddle, but she paused at the steps leading down into the Gardens and simply stood there. Her gaze dropped to the grass as her toes curled and uncurled into the cool wood of the engawa, Rukia's sharp gaze narrowing on the tell tale signs of her daughter's nervousness. For her entire 15 years, Ichika had never hesitated but especially not with Rukia. The two shared a 'tell-all' relationship and there were no secrets – besides the ones she stored in her heart.

Looking back up at the crescent moon hanging in the sky, Rukia tilted her head back, her long black hair blowing in the cold breeze. Cold fingertips brushed against her skin, dancing over her neck and making her smile. Her yukata, half-haphazardly thrown on, was crooked and revealing way too much skin but she couldn't be bothered to fix it. A horse, she thought suddenly. Ichika was like a horse. If startled or confronted, she would run or lash out so Rukia waited, knowing when the red haired girl was ready, she would talk.

There was a deep, frustrated sigh and then the words were blurted into the open air with all the grace of a teenager. "Why did you marry Dad?"

Her violet orbs blinked quickly, surprise washing over Rukia's face as she stared at the moon. "What do you mean why?"

"Well, what else do ya think I mean? Why?" There was a hint of desperation, as if the question was of dire importance.

Pondering her words carefully, not wanting to lie – but definitely not wanting to admit the complete truth – Rukia settled for the response she had given a thousand times when asked – why did everyone ask her why she married Renji? She knew why but she kept the lie bundled around her like a shield. "Because I love him."

"Do you?" The voice behind her uttered softly.

The quiet, peacefulness of the night shattered around her as Rukia's heart thudded in her chest at the implications. Did Ichika know? Letting out a quiet exhale, she asked, "I do. Why do you ask?"

The hesitation hung heavily between them and finally, deciding, in pure Ichika fashion, to stop hiding behind whatever wall of words she had decided to protect herself with, shouted out, "Because it isn't enough! Because – Because I saw it! I saw you….."

There were tears in Ichika's voice and Rukia rushed to her feet, turning around to face her daughter. Such a small girl she was when she was huddled with her face in her hands as tears sparkled from her cheeks. She hiccuped before she continued, her voice soft but hoarse. "I saw you with Kazu's Dad, with Ichigo….Mom, why? Why did you…..Why did you look so….happy? So – So sad?"

When Ichika's large, watery violet pools – so much like her own – looked up at her, Rukia was struck and the walls inside of her burst open like a flood dam breaking. Black lashes fluttered closed as she sagged against the cold wind pressing at her back, knowing what she had to do but dreading it anyway. There was no easy way to shatter the lies she had built but Ichika deserved the truth, she deserved an honest mother who, despite her traitorous heart, loved the crying teen girl falling apart before her.

Sighing, Rukia opened her eyes and held out a small hand. "Come, Ichika. Let's…..Let's talk. Walk with me?"

Sniffling and scrubbing her eyes with the sleeve of one arm, she grasped her mother's hand tight with her other, her grip almost crushing. Rukia squeezed back, holding tight and anchoring her daughter to her, soothing her by letting her reiatsu lap against the electrifying vibrancy of Ichika's, the teen's crackling as it curled into the sanctity of Rukia's soul. The two, mother and daughter, walked barefoot together through the Gardens, silent as they approached the large pond in the middle surrounded by beautiful plants, flowers, shrubs, and trees.

A fish plopped out of the water, scales glistening in the light of the moon, before diving back into the water with a quiet splash. Somewhere near them, a sōzu made of bamboo clunked, followed by the swishing of water. A small stone bridge crossed over the large pond and Rukia drew here to a halt. The moon washed over them as some crickets braved the cold to sing their song, a frog joining in and croaking gently from somewhere in the shrubbery. Hesitantly pulling her hand from Ichika's, she turned and faced the moon, drawing on Shirayuki for the first time in years.

"I need you, Shira. Please, hold me together. Don't let me break." She whispered internally, laying her petite hands against the cold stone of the bridge.

Shirayuki's reply was instantaneous and strong, levelling Rukia's anxiety. "I'm here. And I will never let you break."

She took a deep breath of moist, cold air that sunk into her lungs, breathing in the moonlight as if she could somehow draw forth the glistening light into herself. "Ichika. Tell me: what made you bring this up?"

Gaining strength, the wind ruffled the bottom of her loose yukata, twisting it sideways. She heard Ichika curse and smiled, reprimanding her. "Don't be an ingrate like your father."

Her daughter snorted. "No one can be an ingrate like him."

A comfortable silence fell and Rukia wondered if this was a mistake but then Ichika was never one for subtly. "You don't love Dad…..Do you?"

The smart girl tacked it as a question but Rukia's heart sunk into the cold abyss that had become her chest for the past 20 years as she realized that it wasn't a question at all. Swallowing past the knot in her throat, Rukia's violet orbs fell to her white hands against the hard gray of the stone bridge.

"I love your Dad, Ichika. Renji was – is my best friend. Without him, I would never have survived to become who I am now."

It was the truth but Ichika wasn't buying it. Her voice was stronger when she spoke again, sure and firm, convinced in her words. "I know you love him, Mom. But you don't love him the way he loves you."

Mouth dry, she managed to ask, "And how do I not love him the way he loves me?"

Crackling reiatsu dulled to a muted rumble as Ichika reeled in her soul and Rukia closed her eyes in preparation but nothing could have prepared her for what bluntly left her daughter's lips, her voice sounding both tender and bitter. "Because you have never looked at him the way you looked at Ichigo. Mom, it was…." There was a tremor in her voice but she pushed on, Rukia's heart sinking deeper. "That was love. I could – I felt the way your reiatsu and his, it was…."

Rukia heard her swallow but Ichika's soft, teary voice broke, resigned to acceptance. "It was like your souls just fit, like a puzzle. It was – It was like coming home, all warm and happy…. Why did it feel right, Mom? Why didn't I –"

Ichika's voice broke as she cried, her voice cracking through the gut wrenching sobs that twisted Rukia's heart into a cold, bitter knot. "Why wasn't I disgusted with you? Why couldn't I hate him? Why, why, whywhy, why!?"

Her fingers dug into the palm of her hand, biting into the tender skin as her daughter screamed at her, begged for her mother to tell her why Rukia didn't love them like she knew she should. Everything inside of her demanded she take Ichika into her arms and hold her but she refrained. Her black hair whistled in the wind, blowing to the side like tendrils of darkness as she took a shuddering breath.

"I love you, Ichi. And I love Renji, I love your Dad. I do." The begging in her own voice quieted Ichika's sobbing, the heart broken teen shinigami clutching at her own arms to shoulder through the pain she was feeling. And Rukia knew, with a sinking, drowning clarity, that it was time.

The feelings she had shoved into a dark corner of her soul flared up as tears stung her own violet orbs, hanging off black lashes as she blinked quickly to clear them before her daughter could see them. Forbidden words stumbled from her parted mouth, a cold truth-biting snake that slithered to her daughter and dug it's acidic fangs into the tender, broken flesh of her crumbling heart. Rukia watched Ichika's eyes, mirrors of her own, as her heart shattered in those inky depths. "But I love Ichigo more."

The Captain had never hated herself more than this moment. For 20 years she had hid behind an icy wall, denying everything she had ever felt even to herself. If she could convince herself she didn't love the idiotic fool, she could move on and be happy. What a sinful, heart breaking lie that had been. Not a day had went by in 20 years that Rukia didn't regret what could have been. Looking into those blown wide pupils, that trembling bottom lip, and those fingers dug into her arms, Rukia hated herself…..She hated herself for the emotions – the regret, the shame – that weren't there.

Instead of remorse all she felt was relief, that finally, she had spoken the words aloud. All she could do was wait, her breath held, for Ichika's reaction and there was nothing for the longest time, only that wide-eyed stare and slow blinks.

When the haziness of truth faded from her visage, Ichika looked at the ground and Rukia's heart twinged painfully. "I knew it."

Letting out the breath she had been holding, Rukia tried to push back the trembling of her spine. Shirayuki flashed through her mind, those beautiful eyes soft and sorrowful, grieving for the loss they had both shouldered for these last short – but oh so fucking long – years. "You…..Knew from that single look?"

Shaking her head slowly, still reeling from the words Rukia had no doubt uttered, Ichika's quiet mumble was almost swallowed by the wind. "….No. I," There was a long, heavy pause before she continued. "I knew much longer than that, it's just – I understood it then, ya know? Like before I played it off but then…..I couldn't any more."

Her heart ached, chest a cold chasm that left her numb and she sent a silent, grateful thank you to Shirayuki for helping her cope. Without the ethereal Moon zanpakuto, she wouldn't have been able to even say the words. "So you decided to confront me. You could have left it alone and I never would have told you. Why," Rukia looked at her hands, twisting them in front of her yukata. "Did you ask me about it at all?"

This time, Ichika flinched and Rukia's heart lodged in her throat in a painful knot. Fear erupted, prickling her skin as shame washed over in a hot torrent. "Oh God…..Orihime…..."

The stubborn set jaw, the narrowed hurt violet orbs, and the tight shoulders told Rukia everything before Ichika even opened her mouth. "She knows. How could anyone not know, Mom? Every time you fucking look at each other it's like no one else exists, like we," Ichika gestured curtly at herself. "Don't exist."

Her mouth opened to deny it, to lie and say that wasn't true, to say anything, but she froze, gaze fixed on Ichika. Red haired braid flapping in the wind, her black tattoo's darting in and out of view on her toned body and tanned skin. White, jagged scars peeked out from places her yukata revealed, Rukia remembering each and every one with the tight, coiled fear only a mother could know. Her daughter was small and thin – like her – but toned and strong. She was half a head taller than Rukia but in the Gardens standing beneath the moon, she looked smaller than Rukia had ever seen her.

Her arms were held tight over the middle of her stomach, her shoulders hunched up to her ears. Those violet eyes were gleaming with tears, cheeks splotchy from the tears that had already left their mark. This was the one thing she'd wanted to prevent and now, knowing that Orihime knew – they hadn't done anything wrong! There had been no kisses, no touches in the night….. As much as they had both wanted it! – Rukia wondered, absently, how she had managed to destroy two families in one single night. Then, an even worse thought came to mind of messy orange hair and bright brown eyes calling her Rukia-ba-chan and teasing her about how he was a human teenager and taller than her.

Her lips parted, breath wafting into the cold of the night, but Ichika shook her head roughly, red hair swaying. "Everyone knows Mom. Everyone. Kazu….Fuck, I don't know how he doesn't hate you….."

She swallowed past the relief at the thought that he didn't hate her – how could that kind boy not hate her? – and instead her mind darted to the one thing in Ichika's words that pierced her fragile heart with more than she could take. She stumbled backwards, movements quick, to avoid showing Ichika the impact of her words. She was Kuchiki, Rukia and she would not fall apart in front of her daughter. She would be strong.

"…..Do you hate me?"

That lip wobbled and Rukia's hands atop the stone bridge were the only things keeping her upright. "Sometimes. I wish I could, Mom. I wish it was as simple as hating you. Why –" Her voice broke and she cleared her throat. "Why did you marry Dad?"

It had been asked earlier and of course Rukia knew she loved Renji, the idiot…..But she also knew she didn't love him enough. Taking a deep breath, she told her daughter the truth. "Because he's my best friend. Moving on with him was easier than…." Her lashes fluttered closed as the memories of the day she found out about Ichigo's engagement to Orihime. "Easier than pretending I was okay, alone. I do love him, Ichi."

When her lids slowly opened, Ichika had her back to her. The girl was bent on her forearms on the stone bridge, looking out at the pond. "Dad told me once….." Ichika took a shuddering breath. "He told me that, sometimes, people are tied together by Fate, using a red string. He said you and Ichi-ji-ji were like that."

The tears came unbidden and Rukia felt her heart break for Renji all over again. What he must have suffered the last 20 years just for the chance to love her like he'd always wanted. But Ichika's quiet voice pressed on, muting the whispers in Rukia's mind to a dull throb. "He said you two were meant to be or somethin'. But sometimes, meant to be doesn't mean you end up together. Like, there could have been happy endin' but instead there just….."

Ichika shrugged loosely. "Wasn't. And that's…..Really sad. I wanted to hate you and sometimes, I did. I hated that my Mom looked at my Ichi-ji-ji in ways that made my heart hurt. I hated how, when you two looked at each other, there was just….."

That red head tilted up to the starry sky and she chuckled softly. "No one else but you and him. I could…..I could see the red string, Mom. I could see it. And yeah, I tried to blame you but….I couldn't. Not when, all these years, you've been in so much pain.

"I was mad. For a while. I asked Dad why you two didn't just, I don't know, why you didn't – Why you couldn't be happy."

Glistening violets closed as her knees hit the hard, cold stone of the bridge. She covered her face, not wanting Ichika to see the despair and pain written over it but that beautiful, stubborn girl was more like her than she thought. She heard the rustling as Ichika moved and then she wrapped her arms around the trembling Rukia, comforting her in the way Rukia had always done for her. Hot tears slid from the corners of her eyes, a cold burn itching in her chest. It was a scratch she couldn't reach, something that would gnaw at her for the rest of her life.

Shame, pain, grief…..Emotions all fought for dominance in her gut and she felt the icy numbness of Shirayuki as the zanpakuto battled the emotional demons. Breathing out into the cold night, ice poured from her lips, her voice blank but sharp. "How could Ichigo dare sacrifice everyone else's chances at happiness? I love him, Ichika. But I couldn't ask him to do that. What was the point? Yhwach would have come back and won –"

"Stop!"

At the bitingly harsh word, Rukia stopped, her eyes fluttering open as if from a deep sleep. She blinked as her daughter's breath huffed against her ear, the small form with the tightly balled fists against her mother's back. "So you two just gave up, huh? At what cost did we win? Did we even win, Mom? Because when you win, you're happy. And you ain't happy."

When Ichika pulled back, she tightened her arms and drew her mother's form up to stand with her own. She loosened her hold and Rukia met the conflicted, dark and swirling gaze of a red cheeked, sore-eyed Ichika. Her mouth was a hard, thin line as she grit out words that Rukia knew took a lot of strength to even say. "Happiness? What kind of self sacrificing bullshit – Don't give me that look, I can curse if I want to! What kind of bullshit is that?"

Sending her a reprimanding glare at the curse words, Rukia mulled everything over before she found the courage within herself to speak. "Happiness is the courage to do the right thing even when it hurts, even when you're afraid. Even when….." She looked into those eyes like her own, the reflection of her own pain etched into Ichika's. "Even when it means giving up on everything you've ever loved, ever believed in. It means saying goodbye and pushing through all the memories. Happiness is the courage to face fear and do what's right. Not just for you but all the people of Earth and Soul Society and Hueco Mundo."

Her voice faded out as quietly as it had come, resigned and tired, as she shrugged out of her daughter's hold. Moving back, she leaned against the cold stone, memories flying through her mind like the reel of a movie. A ghost of a once happy smile curled at her lips as she remembered all the times even she, herself, had found that happiness in the warm brown eyes of Kurosaki, Ichigo. But their happiness would have destroyed it all. She fought the cold ache in her throat and the shiver that tickled her spine as she uttered, "Yhwach promised to come for us at our happiest, to destroy every future where we could be happy. We're fighting him, Ichika. This is the form of our courage. Do not speak so lightly of it, as if it was easy to do."

Her daughter was still, the only signs of life being the war of emotions that played out in her eyes, the vapor of breath that wafted into the cold night air, and the blinks of her long, thick lashes over her expressively violet pools. When Abarai, Ichika was cornered, she became a horse: wild and untamed. That was exactly what happened when she snapped, shouting out words that left a brazen trail over Rukia's skin.

Ichika's words dug into her heart with sharp claws that made Shirayuki laugh. "For someone who made Captain, you sure are stupid, Mom."

Before she could get riled up, Ichika – stampeding against her in a torrent of emotions the girl was way too young to feel – raised her voice, pointing a trembling finger at Rukia. Her eyes narrowed and her cheeks flamed with anger as she spouted off like an erupting volcano, "You think courage is running away? You think happiness is dropping everything and hoping this Yhwa-bastard won't just pop up anyway?"

Her voice had risen to a high pitch, voice breaking as the angry teen began to pace back and forth, her bare feet slapping against the stone and her yukata swishing in the air. "If that's what courage is then I don't want anythin' to do with it! So, let me get this straight –"

The girl paused in front of her mother, reiterating what Rukia had told her in pure Ichika fashion. A warmth burst in Rukia's chest as the chains of the last 20 years rattled, cracking and screaming. "Ya'll gave up your happiness to be courageous and fight this Yhwakaki dude to protect the happiness of your future where you aren't happy because if you aren't happy, he can't destroy you? Doing what's right means giving up and running away from everything you stood for? It means…."

Voice dropping, she lowered her eyes to the stone of the bridge, wrapping one arm around the middle of her stomach to clutch at her other arm. "Settling for a future where hope and love are dead? That's not doing what's right…..That's doing what's easy."

Rukia jolted, eyes widening, as the chains of the past 20 years that had held her down – all the tears she had wept, the confusion of why it had ended like this, all the pain and heart ache, all the longing – shattered into fragments of icy shards. Each shard played a memory that she had locked away out of fear – when had her courage become fear? – as her gaze stayed on Ichika. When had her daughter grown so much? Maybe 10 years was longer than she thought. The hard, tight knot in her throat dissolved into her chest as she met those replica's of her own.

The stare that met her own was almost unrecognizable. It was the look of a woman and not a girl, a woman who knew pain and heartache, who chose to fight. Her violet irises glowed a purple-blue in the light of the moon, strong and confident despite the pain that still tainted the edge of her gaze. Her head was held high, jaw grit tight. Arms crossed over her chest and legs spread, she looked every ounce the Captain Rukia should have been. When had her child become this shinigami that stood before her? When had she fallen so low?

A smile quirked at her lips. "Are you prompting me to commit adultery with a married man?"

A grin spread, warm and haughty, as the girl rolled her eyes. "Nope! I'm tellin' ya to go get laid," At Rukia's dark flush and gaping jaw, Ichika continued with laughter hanging off her voice. "And go be happy."

Cheeks dusted pink and grin still curling at her lips, Rukia shook her head. "If only it were that simple, Ichi."

The girl leaned back against the stone bridge on her hands, red haired braid flying in the breeze that rustled by. Her smile held a secret and Rukia's heart flipped at the sudden look in her daughter's eyes. She took a hesitant step forward and put her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes. Motherly intimidation usually worked but when Ichika's grin only widened, Rukia sighed and rolled her eyes up to the starry sky. "Why are you acting like this is okay?"

"Because none of us can stand seeing ya like this any more. Plus, if I gotta admit defeat, at least it's to someone worthy of ya."

Her heart dropped into her stomach at the deep voice that resonated from her right, ringing in her ears. Her chest tightened at the implications that, oh Gods, he knew and how much did he hear – Before her freak out could fully develop, he was there. Arms crossed over his chest, his blood red yukata too small to really hide his body underneath, her husband stood before her. Those light brown eyes gazed right at her, dejected and wearily resigned yet holding a hint of soft warmth that made her eyes sting with tears.

He looked at her, those soft defeated eyes roaming her body like it was the last time he would ever see her, before he met her own again. Standing on the stone bridge, a cold wind rustling between them, Rukia – not for the first time and something she would later regret and weep about deep in the night – wished she hadn't stumbled into Kurosaki, Ichigo's life and ruined them both. Red strings, Fate, love, eternal bonds…...She had spent the last 20 years denying it because she couldn't believe it. Her smile faded, violet-blue falling to the gray stone at her bare feet. Blinking when zeta clad feet stepped into view, she wasn't surprised to feel Renji tuck a stray strand of her flyaway hair behind her ear.

Hesitantly, he raised both hands and let them fall atop her small shoulders. His deep, gruff voice was thick with emotion and Rukia tightened her jaw to keep from giving in to the small cry lodged in her throat at his words. "I'm not gonna let ya give up now. No more taking the easy road."

She winced, remembering Ichika's words as the realization set in of how long Renji must have been there and what he had heard, but he squeezed her shoulders, jostling her a moment. "Rukia…..Tell her, Ichika. Tell her what happened."

A small, crawling sense of panic erupted in her stomach. Hesitantly, she raised her gaze to her daughter, Renji stepping off to her right. Ichika looked into the gaze that met her own with a surety that left Rukia breathless, the hairs on the back of her neck rising. "That day you took me to meet Ichi-ji-ji for the first time, he was there. Yhwa-whats-his-name. He was there. Kazu blew him away but do ya wanna know when he appeared? Do ya wanna know what brought him to this future?"

She didn't, she didn't want to hear those words. Something told her if she heard them, she wouldn't be able to go back to lying and pretending any more but she didn't get the chance before, with a sharp cold glint in her eyes, Ichika delivered the final blow. "Because even when ya two give up, even when ya marry someone else…..You're still happiest when you're with'im. Your happiness is always gonna be there, Mom. The happiest moment, the happiest future?"

Renji laid a stabilizing hand against her lower back as her eyes widened, heart pounding when Ichika stepped forward. The grin she had melted into a strong, bright smile as she softly uttered, "There'll always be one. You and Ichigo, Mom. You, both of you, create your happiness every time you're together. Both of ya are the happiest moment, of every future."

The world spun around her, her daughter's words severing all the lies and pretences, all the masks she'd worn dissolving at her feet. The world tilted for a dizzying moment before everything around her halted into a sudden, nauseating clarity. Stars still dotted the sky but their lights were brighter, twinkling with a fierceness that nearly blinded her. Insects, the whistling of the wind, the frog in the pond, Renji and Ichika's breathing all came into focus. The silvery light of the moon lightened the dark gray of the stone bridge and Rukia had the sudden thought that maybe she should breathe at one point.

A large, broad and rough hand gripped her own and her violet gaze snapped to his. The bittersweet smile made her chest tighten as cold chills slithered down her arms. The cold, icy chain of her silver wedding band – oh, Gods, when had that become a chain…. – twisted as Renji's long fingers gently grasped hold of it. His eyes never left hers as he slowly pulled it down her ring finger, the band leaving an icy throb behind. He pulled it free and suddenly, Rukia could breathe again. Lungfuls of cold air flooded her lungs, easing the tightness of her chest.

Heat blossomed in her gut and spread through her blood like a wildfire as Renji stepped away. The silver band was thrown into the air, the moon's light glinting off it, before he caught it in a fisted grasp. Looking over at Rukia as he headed away from the bridge, he lifted a hand in a wave and hollered back, "Tell that idiot I'm leaving you in his hands!"

"Wait, Renji – !"

A hand shot out, grabbing her arm in a tight grip. Frantic, dark violet eyes landed on Ichika who was watching her father go with acceptance and Rukia tried to twist her arm out of the small teen's hold. Her grip held firm until both of them could no longer see the deep red of Renji's yukata or the red of his hair that hung over his shoulders and down his back swaying in the wind. Furious tears welled in her orbs and she spun to face Ichika, the smaller girl's hand falling away to her side.

Before she could unleash her anger, the soft quiet mumble halted all the words jumbled on the tip of her tongue. "This isn't easy for him. You'll only make it worse. He – He needs to be alone, Mom."

"No, Ichika! I have to go to him, I have to –"

Panic rushed through her blood, heart battering into her ribs as she vied for air. Arms held wide, white yukata glowing in the silvery light, the smallest Abarai stood at the borderline of the bridge. Lean arms were spread wide, legs apart as she stared Rukia down with those violet depths. Her hands were fisted as she shouted, "And do what? Break his heart more? Mom, he chose this, for you!"

"But….." Tears swelled hotly in her eyes, flicking her gaze back and forth at Ichika's hindering form and where Renji had strolled back to the Manor. Cold, dense air chilled her body to the ground, frozen in place and breathing heavily as she watched Ichika. "I…."

Approaching cautiously, Ichika headed towards Rukia's still form, staring blankly towards the open shoji door in the distance where red hair had disappeared. Small, delicate hands fell atop thin shoulders as she looked softly into her mother's eyes. "Mom….."

Voice breaking, she pulled her mother gently into a hug. "Mom, wait here. I'll be back, I promise." She pulled away and forced those empty, lost violet orbs as dark as the sky to stare into her own convicted pair. "I'll make you happy, okay?"

Before she left she placed a soft, tender kiss on her mother's cool skin, lingering for only a moment before she pulled back. Tearful dark blue orbs greeted her, icy and numb, and Ichika felt her own eyes glisten with tears.

"Goodbye, Kaa-chan."

It took everything she had to turn around and leave her mother standing on that bridge, her heart breaking. Eyes squeezed shut, she clenched her fists and vowed that if Kaa-chan wasn't going to fight for her own happiness, then Ichika would do it for her.

Behind the open shoji, Renji fell to his knees and slammed a tight, white-knuckled fist into the tatami mats below him. Gritting his teeth, he squeezed his eyes shut and fought back the pain in his chest building behind his eyes.

"Damn….." He opened the fist slammed into the floor to reveal the silver wedding band spotted with blood, huffing with a sad little grin. "Why do I always lose you, Rukia…..."