I wasn't usually one to run in hallways. Much less school hallways - where I could get in trouble; but you see, I had a matter of great importance to attend to. I could not simply meander my way home, I had to be quick about it. The fate of the world - nay, the universe rested upon my shoulders.

...okay. Maybe that was a bit too much ham to feed you all at once, however, I DID have a matter of great importance to attend to.

Don't believe me? Well, I have you know - RPGs are a serious business; and games like Trap Hunter Gold only come out once a generation. To not play it as soon as I was free of the societal chains of school would not only be a great disrespect to myself, but to gaming in general.

People whizzed by, nothing but blurs to my eyes - I was going so fast, a righteous desire burning in my core. Some gave me disgusted looks (probably from the unsettling grin on my face) others just looked away, ashamed to be of the same race as me.

Tell me - do you care for the affair of the ants who crawl, level with your feet? No? Well I was feeling much the same. Perhaps if my flames of passion were not so stoked, then I would be showing my characteristic desire to stay out of the proverbial spotlight.

And perhaps, if my flames of passion were not so stoked, I wouldn't have run into the last person I wanted to see at the moment - Totsuka.

I crashed against him, and no matter how athletic he was, I was still heavier. He fell backwards, but I was luckily able to slow down my full-blown sprint into more of a particularly quick jog. Of course, once he toppled over, he grabbed into my sleeve. Unbalanced as I was, I fell atop him, hands on the ground, at the sides of his head, face perilously close to his - nose to nose, in fact.

I felt the stirring of my loins; the rapid, thumping beat of my heart - like the Japanese war drums of old, spurring me on.

Reader, I have a confession to make. You see, Trap Hunter Gold's truly exceptional quality is not the main reason why I was so eager to return home and play it. No, the main reason...is because of its revolutionary Trap Hunting system. It's exactly what it says on the tin - you hunt traps, then you train said traps via a liberal amount of - pardon my French for a moment, please - putain de, and then you use said trained traps to hunt others. Repeat, until you have a veritable army of traps.

Yes, I was rushing back home to play an eroge. About traps. To relieve my frustrations about the fact that I had a trap in such close proximity, one that I could (or rather, would) not lewd

...

Damn, even I feel ashamed of myself when I lay it all out like that.

Anyway! I was in quite a perilous situation, because if I looked down south then my gaze would be drawn to his adorable chest and luscious legs, but if I looked straight at him, eye-to-eye, then his extremely feminine features would entrap me like a Gorgon had gazed upon me.

Not to mention that little Hachiman, was quickly rising to attention, as I had been preparing myself all day for when I inevitably got home. I cursed past-Hachiman for that, come to think of it, I cursed present-Hachiman and future-Hachiman too.

In that moment - I knew what if felt like to be Hitler. Surrounded on all sides, with seemingly no hope of victory. And just like Hitler, I decided to commit suicide. Not like that, but in a different way.

For I, in my half-delirious state of mind, did not forsake my own life. Nay, I would forsake my self-control.

AN

Crosspost from QQ. Wrote this a while back, remembered it, and then decided why the hell not post it on FF.