Magnificent 7 (TV)

IT'S A WOMAN'S WORLD

WARNING: Silliness Ahead! Or: 'It's Mag 7 Jim, but not as we know it!' Lol!

Ok, I've been seeing some of the 'Gender-swap' fics around and it mostly seems that people are just 'swapping' one or two characters. My muse decided to take things a little further. She 'swapped' the entire universe! So, if you're offended by a world where women are the strong ones and men stay home and look after the babies, well, maybe this isn't for you.

For the rest of you - put your brains in neutral and prepare to have a little fun.

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Josephina Sanchez. Now there's a beautiful hunk of woman. Big boned and tall. Not at all fat, though. Oh no, it's all muscle. I know. I've seen her pick up one of the other peacekeepers - particularly Ezrae or Vin - in her arms, if one of them was hurt and carry them like they were children. Ex preacher-woman, who can still hand out Hell and Damnation with the best of them, although she seems to prefer keeping it friendly most of the time.

She's the oldest, you think she'd be the leader of the group - but no, that's Christina - Chris - Larabee. The blonde. A tall, strong, woman in her own right and with an edge to her, as well. Authority, power, call it what you will. She's a beautiful woman, but she scares me a bit. She made her name as a gunwoman before she turned up in Four Corners and while she's polite enough, even friendly when she wants to be, I've seen those hazel eyes turn as hard as stones and I've seen her reeling drunk, too. Not a pretty sight.

She dresses in black, always - they say she's almost never worn anything else since she lost her husband and young daughter in a fire, years ago. Poor woman. I don't know how I'd cope if I lost any of my family, let alone all of them, but then, I'm a man. Men aren't as strong as women. Physically or emotionally. And, too, Chris has Buck.

Buck - I believe her real name is Belinda - Wilmington. Chris' best friend for Lord alone knows how long. Another tall one, taller than Chris and heavier set, though not as big as Josephina or Natalie. Buck's the one who always has a man on her arm, or if she doesn't, well, you know there's at least one, if not more, not far away. Her father was a 'working man' - yes, one of those - and apparently she grew up in the House where he worked.

How she got the nickname of 'Buck', I don't know. I've heard a few stories, but they're really not the sort of thing a gentleman would ever repeat. She is a nice woman, though. Always ready with a smile and a compliment and a helping hand if you need it. A flirt, but a nice one, all the same.

They're all nice. Surprises me, sometimes, just how nice they really are. Natalie, for instance - Natalie Jackson - she's the dark one. Our town healer. She grew up a slave in the South, but it hasn't left her bitter or even thinking that the world owes her something. No, she's another one who's always there if someone's hurt or needs a helping hand.

They say she learned doctoring as a stretcher bearer with the Union Army during the war and found she had a talent for it. She's good, too, I must admit. Of course, there's no way a black woman would ever be allowed a license to be a 'proper' doctor, but for my money, she's just as good. Gentle, but thorough and she knows what she's doing. Fixed up my leg where I cut it, a little while ago and didn't say word one out of place, either. Not like that quack over in Silver Bend, who I saw last year. Her hands were all over me. All over places where they shouldn't have been and wasn't my wife furious when I told her! She insisted on coming with me to see Miz Jackson, but there was no problem at all with her. Polite and respectful, she even turned her back, so that I could have some privacy while I undressed, which I thought was nice.

But, then, like I said, they're all nice. I couldn't help chuckling, when young JD Dunne - Jean Danielle, but they call her JD for short - who was in Miz Jackson's surgery when I came in, turned bright red and excused herself, as soon as she realised I was going to take my clothes off. Poor girl. She's very young and I don't think she's had a lot to do with men, despite apparently being another one brought up by a single father. Not a 'working man' like Buck's father, just a man on his own, doing the best he could.

JD's a sweetheart, really. Smaller than the others and dark-haired. She's actually the sheriff, here, the youngest of the seven and the only one with a regular gentleman friend.

Young Case Welles, old Nephraim Welles' nephew. He has his sights set on JD and he's a determined lad. I think he'll get her. Nephraim's as tough as an old tree root and he's taught his nephew well. He ran that homestead of his all alone after his wife died and then took in Case when the boy lost his parents. It's just the two of them out there, but like I said, I think that's going to change - at least it will if Case has his way!

Vinette - Vin - Tanner keeps an especial eye out for the both of them, I must admit. Even more than the others do. Scuttlebutt says she lost her father real young - never knew her mother - and was brought up by the Indians. She treats Nephraim like a beloved Uncle and he spoils her rotten, in return. Vin's the slender one, with those blue eyes and legs up to her... Oh, I know, a gentleman doesn't think about things like that, but you can't help noticing. She's a lovely young thing, slim and strong. Almost makes me wish I wasn't a happily married man. Almost. Besides, she's almost as shy around men as young JD, despite being a few years older in age and an awful lot older in experience.

She was a bounty hunter before she joined the Seven, I know. They say she has a bounty on her own head, now, though I can't imagine what a nice young woman like that could have done to get such a thing. She's a Texan, with a slight drawl and a quiet, polite, way about her. I wouldn't underestimate her, though. I've seen that woman shoot and let me tell you, I wouldn't want to be the one in her sights, not for anything. She doesn't miss.

She carries a sawn-off long gun - a mare's leg, she calls it - but she can shoot with just about anything. Although I don't know how she'd go with that cannon I heard Ezrae was using when they all first came to town.

Yes, an honest-to-God cannon! A leftover from the war - and that, apparently, is where Ezrae learned to use it, too, although she must have have been mighty young at the time, if it's true. She's another Southerner, although not from Texas. I'm not sure exactly where she's from, but I know it's nowheres North.

Ezrae Standish. Chestnut haired, with green eyes and a drawl as thick and sweet as a dose of honey - and that girl can hand out the honey, too, when she's in the mood! She's a gambler and a conwoman and she drives Chris Larabee wild!

"A lady does not debase herself by indulging in menial labor!" Ha! No, she just spends most of the night playing poker in the saloon, instead. Winning the bankroll off of every cowgirl or travelling woman that's daft enough to play with her. She could talk a snake-oil seller into buying their own product, I swear. All she needs to do is pour on the charm, flash that gold tooth and set those green eyes to work and there's not a man or woman on this planet that could resist her. Including Ignacio behind the bar.

He's completely impervious to Buck's charms, apparently, but for Ezrae, he'll even buy in the fancy Scotch whiskey that she likes and sell it to her at cost.

(At least that's what he told me, when I spoke to him last week. He's a nice fella, even if he does work in a saloon - which, let's face it, isn't exactly respectable and my wife wouldn't be best pleased if she ever found out we were friends, so lets hope she never does!)

He's told me, too, that despite being a fancy dresser - and an even fancier talker - Ezrae can look out for herself. She carries a regular pistol at her hip, like most of the others, as well as a second one in a holster under her arm anda small derringer up her sleeve, apparently! Whew! - And she knows how to use all of them! They all do, of course, though Chris is the one people are the most scared of - with good reason, in my opinion - and Natalie tends to prefer her throwing knives to guns. She wears them in a harness across her back; I've seen them once or twice. Scary things.

No, you don't want to get on the wrong side of our peacekeepers. Do the right thing and they'll be your friends and there to help you if you need it - do the wrong thing and well... Watch Out!

It was a good day for Four Corners when Circuit Judge Evie Travis hired them. I know she was thinking as much of the safety of her son in law and his daughter, as anything else, but still. She's another good woman, is Judge Travis. Hard but fair.

Her son in law is Mark Travis, down at the newspaper. A widower with a small daughter. Willa. A lot of people think it's not right, a man running a business like that. That he should be at home, looking after the children and making a place for his womenfolk to come back to after a hard day at work, but Mark says that that paper was his wife's. She died defending it and he's going to keep it going as long as he can, in her memory. Well, I can understand that, I guess.

One of these days, though, his ma-in-law is going to prevail. She and her husband, Orrin, are always happy to have their granddaughter to stay, if things get rough around here and well, maybe one day Mark will join her. For good.

I wouldn't lay odds on it, though. Mark - who is a blond, but as stubborn and fiery as any redhead - has taken a liking to Chris Larabee, if you can believe it! Guess he figures that they'd be a good pair. A widower and a widow. Both strong-minded people; I must admit, they make an interesting pair.

Chris puts up with him and on occasion, even seems to be reciprocating, but at other times - when Mark gets involved in some political cause, for instance, or prints something controversial in that paper of his - well, then the sparks can fly!

But I really mustn't stand here gossiping like an old timer with nothing to do. I have to finish the shopping or there won't be any dinner tomight and then, well, there'd be more than sparks then, I can tell you! My wife likes her dinner hot and on the table ready, when she's done and she's quite happy to make her displeasure known if it's not. Not that she would ever hit me - nothing like that - she's a good woman, my wife, but she does have her ways. As they all do, bless them.

Besides, I've got that new dime novel that Mr Potter over at the General store has just got in for me - He's another one that has kept his wife's store running after she died - and they say men have no head for business! - and maybe, if I get things done, I can snatch a few minutes to read.

This one isn't one of those cowgirl novels that our sweet sheriff is so fond of, though. It's actually set in Africa and it's all about this tribe of men called 'Amazons'. Big strong men, who go out hunting and fighting, while the womenfolk stay home and do the cooking and take care of the children. It's silly, I know, but well, Edna Rice Burroughs* writes so well and there's no real harm in it. I know well thats it's not true and there, I'm lucky in having a wife that lets me read at all. So many women don't like their men reading novels. They say it 'gives them ideas'. (Personally, I think we can come up with quite enough ideas on our own!) But I'll have to hurry, or I won't have any time at all.

Take care and watch out for our sheriff and her deputies!

FINIS

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*Author's Note: ERB (The original) didn't actually publish their first book until 1912 and as far as I know never actually wrote about Amazons, as such. (Male or female! Lol!) But hey, this is an AU and I wanted to have some fun! So please take it in the spirit it was intended and I hope you had fun, too!