The sight that greeted most travelers to the land of his ancestors, was the harsh turbulent waters of the narrow sea that separates the island from the mainland. The second sight is the jagged coastline that had been battered by the narrow sea and was choked by a permanent layer of fog that hid the many natural dangers from giant sea serpents to the whirlpools that the island got its namesake from.

The interior of the island was barely better, the climate was like that of the land of fire, warm often too warm, made worse by how humid the entire island was like someone was constantly boiling water under his feet. Lush jungles choked even the highest mountains, they weren't as tall as the trees in Konoha, but they were thicker, and it was impossible to tell where one tree began and another ended. A thick swamp dominated the lowlands, where any number of creatures lurked in the soup like waters.

Everything in the land was so filled with life but so to was it filled with death. Fallen trees fed the next generation of saplings and no island had creatures as adept at murder as the ones that called this island home. From the small cute looking blue and orange frog that he wanted as a pet but just touching it would probably kill him to the tiger that for some reason could use lightning chakra.

It was a far cry from the lifeless land he had seen once in the original timeline. Though that might have been a safer place to go on a family vacation. Not that he should worry considering how at least half of their group was either A Hokage, a future Hokage could have been a Hokage or was trained by the Hokage, with the other half having no less than two Anbu captains and his wife, Madara UZUMAKI-Uchiha.

But the side of the island that few people knew about was something else entirely. A sea of brilliant blue extended out for miles in front of him, waves crashing down upon a beach of pure white sand that was welcoming him home with open arms. Many people often said that the beaches of Uzio were the worst kept secret of the world.

It was a paradise.

"Woohoo!" A streak of brilliant red hair darted out from behind him, a shirt light shirt flying in the air followed quickly by a green floral skirt as his mother jumped and shouted like she was sixteen years old darted for the beach looking like she was barely a day over twenty. She all but danced along the sand spinning around to shout at them. "Hurry up you slow-pokes! I want to kick some butt at volleyball! And sand castle building! And surfing!"

She gasped, hands on her cheeks like she just remembered what she was so excited about. "I haven't gone surfing in ages! Wait! Where's Naruko's shack? Didn't she say it was set up on this beach?"

"It's a little further down honey," his father was the first to follow after her, effortlessly retrieving the clothes she had stripped away. "We were supposed to surprise them remember, but I think that you just told them we're here."

His more or less sister and his more or less sister in law had eloped and moved to Uzio to become beach bums. Apparently, they were successful and now more or less had owned and operated a cozy beach shack.

"Oh right! Come on you guys! Let's go!" Kushina bounced along the beach looking perfectly at home with her red hair blowing in the wind like a banner announcing her arrival.

"Why am I even here?" A grumpy, and annoyed voice grumbled like the crashing waves from behind him.

He turned, seeing a sight that he still wasn't quite too sure how to feel about. It was Jiraiya - with a black eye and looking every bit the perverted beach bum complete with an overly hairy chest exposed - with a hand around Tsunade's waist holding her close - both of them not quite drunk but not quite sober - swaying each one holding a beer.

But the one who spoke was something he never thought he'd see. It was their daughter, Sachiko, a silver-haired beauty that was just as beautiful as Tsunade had been in her youth, and twice as punch happy. And she was only like three years older than him. She was a Bitch with a capital B. But she was also family.

"Cause," Tsunade slurred, "the author doesn't feel like continuing your story right now so you get a cameo in this one."

Sachiko sighed and kept sighing, it was the long drawn out sigh that one had to force out and spoke volumes of displeasure. It was a sigh that he had gotten many times for many different people. "Can you two please not break the fourth wall?"

"Nah," Jiraiya slurred, nuzzling into Tsunade's neck. "The author knows it's not funny but needs filler for the beach episode."

"I hate you both so much." With that, Sachiko walked off in the vague direction that Kushina and Minato had gone.

Madara walked up to him, wearing a revealing black bikini that hugged her body and showed off every delightful curve and a pair of sunglasses with reflective lenses that hid her eyes. But not that small frown that was adorned on her face. In her hands was the ankles of their own blond three-year-old ankle biter Izumi UZUMAKI-Uchiha who was struggling against her mother's grip.

"Here," She handed him his daughter by the ankle, it wasn't that Madara was a bad mother, far from it, she made certain that their child would be an absolutely lethal little murder machine by the time she got to school and taught her many things. But, her natural maternal instincts were more or less limited to killing things that threatened their child.

She turned walking along the beach without so much of another word. No explanation as to why it was his to turn to deal with their daughter, or any hint on as to why she was being handled upside down. It was probably a good thing that Kushina kidnapped her granddaughter on a regular basis for some normal parenting.

"I love you!" He said loudly while staring at her ass following close behind his wife. He wasn't being a pervert, that was just the most natural place for his eyes to rest. Besides, it was also the safest, if he didn't he might accidentally stare at someone else and Madara would murder them if they were female.

It was that reason why Madara did not like Sachiko, and the feeling was mutual.

She turned to him her long raven hair barely disturbed by the wind as a teasing smile graced her lips. "Why is it that you also say that when you look at my ass?" The smile grew again, yep there it was a brand new childhood trauma, man their kid was going to be fucked with a mom like her and a dad like him. "Though I often say I love you when I look at my own ass."

"Is that some clever way of saying that I'm your ass?" He waddled after her, his daughter swaying with each step as she continued to do something upside down in his hands. Why was his child upside down?

"Ahh, once again you continue to surprise me with your ability to learn, it gives me hope for our daughter." She turned once more, walking proudly with an extra bounce in her step, whatever foulness had invaded her mood moments ago was done away with. "Perhaps I might have to reward you later?"

"Mommy-papa sex time?" Izumi asked, flailing to try and look at her mother, tongue sticking out of her tongue. He wasn't quite sure where she learned that phrase, but it wasn't from him. He blamed Madara because she frequently grew quite whenever their daughter asked about their slightly to healthy sex life. "Can stay with gram?"

"Sorry sweety, I think gram-gram and grandpa want some alone time themselves." Probably because Kushina kept comparing this to their honeymoon. And he knew exactly what happened during a honeymoon, sure most of it was a blur and but he had a few scars and couldn't wear leather around his wrists without getting an erection, so he had a pretty good idea.

"Mmmk," Izumi dropped her weight like a sack. Then began to twitch again like she was trying to walk. She stopped, head tilting towards him so that he could see her dark blue eyes. His daughter looked every bit his daughter, while the only thing evident from her mother was her curly hair. "Papa, want down!"

"Kay." He dropped his daughter onto the soft sand.

She made an sound that was close to "Bweh!" and pushed herself up, spitting some sand from her mouth. On second thought he really couldn't complain about Madara's parenting skills. If their child survived it was going to be nothing less than a miracle.

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?" A raspy female voice cut through the crashing waves and excited Kushina noises followed quickly by a slap to the back of his head. What was it about his head that just invited people to hit him in the head? "You can just go around dropping a kid like that! I don't even like the fuckers and I know that."

"Hey look, she's fine, my daughter is-" Fine probably wasn't the best thing to say even if it was the truth. "Enjoying herself, and what's wrong with you hitting-" He turned to see himself staring at a blond haired blue eyed girl with whisker marks on her cheeks.

Both of their mouths fell open. This was weirder than he thought it would be. Like six times weirder than when he met Menma. It was him, just a female version of him.

"I take it you're Naruko?" Well, he was already off to a fantastic start with his more or less twin sister.

"Yes," She groaned pinching the bridge of her nose. "On a scale of you look like me to my mother grew you in a lab because she's a baby obsessed moron how weird is it that you exist?"

"Uhh, where does accidentally time traveling into the past, fucking up the future then traveling forward into the future land on that?" He scratched the back of his head keeping a solid eye on his daughter so she didn't run off and try to pet a tiger that for some reason can use lightning chakra. Again. "Also my name is Naruto and my daughter's name is Izumi."

"Seriously? Naruto? Are you like a dude version of me or something?" He nodded. "Oh thank fuck!" Naruko sighed letting out a laugh and running a hand through her long blonde hair. "At least you're not a fucking clone, clones are creepy. Not like the jutsu but just like a test tube clone. Fuck that shit."

"You say Fuck a lot!" Izumi beamed up at Naruko for all of two seconds before she fell backward into the sand, flapping her arms like she was trying to make a sand angel.

"Sorry," She snorted, a faint blush gracing her cheeks. "My wife kind of rubbed off on me. But anyways, I think I hear Tayuya and my mom fighting, that can't be good." She turned, the several bags of groceries swaying in her hands. "Well, I guess she's our mom? Fuck, I have a fucking brother. Shit, I keep swearing in front of your spawn."

"That was my reaction when I first showed up here. But with like having a family in general." He smiled, offering her a hand. "Want me to take some of those?"

"Sure," she handed him half. "You know I really should thank you, you showing up is probably what stopped my mom from hunting us down and trying to implant one of us with a child. So thanks for satisfying her weird ass desire to have a grandkid."

"Oh, no problem," He laughed, nudging Izumi up off the sand with his foot. "Come on squirt, let's go see if grandma can make you ramen." Again, his daughter was his daughter through and through. He turned to his sister, or whatever she was. "So I take it you don't like kids?"

"Nope, hate the snot-nosed little brats. One of the perks of being a lesbian is that there's no chance in hell of accidentally ending up with one of those." She sidestepped as Izumi ran between them pretending to fly like a seagull. "Yours is kind of cute, but that's probably because she reminds me of me."

"Be careful, she'll corrupt you."

"Ha, unless Tayuya magically grows a dick and balls I'll be-"

"Look!" A shrill voice cracked the peace with a bark that sounded like it took the bite out back and stabbed it to death with a shank and left the body as a message. It was the kind of voice that was easy to remember once he heard it again, and instantly he remembered exactly who Tayuya was. Short, angry, redhead. "I fucking told you she ain't here right now! So quit asking!"

"That would be my wife."

"Just tell me where she is!"

He looked at her a laugh escaping him. "And that would be our mom."

She joined him in laughter nodding in agreement. "I guess I got our dads weird attraction to loud redheads. Whose her mother? It's not Karin is it?"

"No, no, her name's Madara."

XXXX

Volleyball had started off innocent enough. No chakra, just pure physical ability, but, then the girls got competitive and it turned into a war zone where the men took turns watching new craters get blasted into the sand as Tsunade, Sachiko, Kushina, or Madara spiked the ball to hell and back. The only reason why the ball didn't burst was that it had seals on it that made it nearly indestructible. The game ended when Madara received the ball with her sword that he could have sworn she left in Konoha.

Next, there was a sand building contest. Izumi won with a pile of sand that had a starfish on top because the other girls instantly began to wage sand people wars. By this point, most of the men and lesbians had taken to sitting back and watching the show.

Then came the surfing competition. Tsunade and Sachiko crashed quickly. His mother shredded like she had been born on the water. At least that's what he thought. Then Madara grabbed a board and put her to shame, riding a large wave with as much skill and grace as she had with handling a blade, a twisting twirling goddess of death.

Before they knew it the sun was setting and their first day on the beach was coming to a close.

Madara sat next to him, her head resting on his shoulder with her hand on top of his. The moon barely kissing the starlit sea. If either one of them were romantic the scene might have set a mood or something. "Hey, Naruto."

"Yea?" He asked, leaning against her head and feeling her long drawn-out sigh, that told him all he'd ever need to know. She was happy, beyond happy. And he felt the same way.

"I love you."

"I know, I love you too."

"Meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me."

"I feel the same." He smiled thumb over her hand. Even with all the bullshit that happened and all the changes made to the timeline with only Sakura- wait. Weren't they supposed to be here. "You did remember to tell Sakura and Tobirama where we were going right?"

"I remembered to tell them," She smiled, "whether or not they believed me is a different story."

The End

AN: Thank you all for making this my most popular fic of all time, when I first started writing Fanfiction in general I never thought I'd be able to get 1k followers, but now here I am with a fic that has over 2k followers and 1k reviews. (And for so few words as well) I'm really happy with how this fic turned out, especially since I started writing it 4 am and drunk with no plan. There are a few parts I could have done a better jobs of showing, but overall it was positive.

I know a lot of you feel differently about some choices I made during this fic, but I still hope that you enjoyed it. And please give some of my other fics a try.

Also, now for the less fun part. I'm going to be taking a long break from Naruto Fanfiction. Partially because I've burned myself out on the fandom, partially because I've ran out of girls that I want to pair Naruto with, and partially because I enjoy My hero acadamia fics a lot more. But, also because I want to try writing some original fiction. I told myself that if I ever got 2k followers on a story that I'd try to write something original, because maybe, just maybe that I might be able to do something decent.

As for what the future holds. Mostly My Hero Aca fics, if you read those as well give mine a shot, they're pretty standard Yoji stories. When I return to Naruto (Well hopefully this is just a vacation and not a retirement) I'll probably try to return to Perverts and Blondes, or start a new Female Kyuubi fic or a Naruto x Mito story, but that's a ways out.

To those that are only here for my Naruto fics. Thank you for the support, and I'll see you next time!

If you enjoyed this fic, and want to help a starving author feel free to donate to my Ko - fi Ko - fi / yojimbra Or not, up to you.