-author's note-

This is it. The Last Chapter. Cool that it's Chapter 100, right? :)

thank you all soooooo much!

I never imagined writing fanfiction would be this much fun!

You are the best audience ever!

Next month I promise I will either start a sequel or publish some sort of epilogue, but for now enjoy!

Gin knew he was lucky, beyond lucky, to be going home at all, but considering the price if he did anything anyone didn't like, he wished they'd just thrown him into the deepest darkest prison they could find and forgot about him. But they needed him, or they thought they did, and he had to admit he might be useful. So all he had to do was not screw up.

Which honestly sounded easier than facing a Rangiku who'd been under house arrest since Aizen's faked death. She could not possibly be in a good mood at this point.

"But did she seem relaxed, calm, or calm before the storm, calm?" he tried asking Kira.

His lieutenant looked up at him with a lost expression. "I'm not sure, sir," he said uneasily.

Gin sighed. It might have been wise to choose a slightly more perceptive lieutenant, though, honestly, those were next to non-existent. Kira still seemed to be on his side which was impressive all on it's own. Most people looked at him without even bothering to hide their hostility anymore.

With Rangiku he would just have to see. There was no way of guessing what kind of greeting he would be getting. She'd had her lovely rose-colored glasses violently torn away and had been shown with perfect clarity exactly what kind of a man she had shock had been almost too much for Toshiro, and the boy had never really liked him much in the first place. He could not begin to guess how Rangiku was dealing with it.

She was still there, apparently waiting for him to come home. That had to mean something, didn't it?

He sighed again, realizing they'd reached the captain's quarters. He looked up at the traditional house with its rice paper walls glowing a gentle gold with lamplight. Both the main living room and the boys' room had lights still shining. He wondered for a moment if Yuki was asleep in their room or if she was still up and fussing at Ran.

He said, "Good night, Kira, and thank you." Then he stepped up and pulled open the front door.

He heard Kira's faint voice whisper, "Good luck, sir." Before he pulled the door shut behind him.

"I'm home," he said softly as he stepped out of his sandals and up onto the polished wood floor of the entry. The kitchen on the right side of the hall was dark and empty, but there was no surprise there. They rarely used the kitchen.

He turned to the first shoji door on the left and slowly slid it open. His eyes took in the familiar room quickly. It was an odd match of tradition and modern comfort. The floor was the gentle yellowed green of new tatami, and the walls were shoji and painted panels. There was a kotatsu in the middle of the room, as usual piled with half-sorted laundry. There was a pretty nook with a vase of beautiful blue hydrangeas and stair step chest of drawers, only most of the drawers were half-open and overflowing with children's toys and knickknacks from the World of the Living. Children's toys were scattered across the floor along with books, pages of Kinta's drawings, and manga. Yuki was asleep in a loudly colored baby swing that rocked automatically and played unfamiliar lullabies from the World of the Living. Rangiku was laying across the couch in a sleeping kimono.

She sat up the moment he opened the door, and stared at him.

"Tadaima (I'm home)" he repeated softly.

"O-kairi(welcome home)" she answered in a whisper.

He crossed the room, quietly, and dropped down onto the floor in front of her, careful not to disturb the sleeping baby.

"I need to put Yuki to bed," Rangiku whispered, and hopped to her feet, whisking the baby from the room without another word.

Gin sat and waited, wondering what he would do if she decided to leave. Years ago he had been certain he could live his whole life without her, keeping her safe from a distance, making sure the darkness never touched her again. He couldn't even imagine it now. Not seeing her, speaking to her, touching her, every single day was unbearable, even just to consider. He had been determined to leave with Aizen, but only because it was his only choice, his only chance to find a way to stop the bastard before he destroyed everything.

But now that plan had failed. He had no more idea how to fight Aizen than anyone else. He had no hope. If he lost Rangiku as well-

He shook his head to drive away the dark thoughts and hopped to his feet. He figured he might as well make himself useful so he gathered up the scattered books and shoved them into the top shelf of a closet hidden by a sliding panel. He frowned for a moment, realizing how few of the books stacked in the deep closet actually belonged to him, but decided this was really probably not the best time to worry about that, and quickly gathered up the kids toys and stuffed them into the bottom of the closet. Kinta's art went into the trash; the child was unbelievably prolific and it was all drawn on the back of division work orders and records anyway. Then the laundry got shoved back into its basket and carried to the kitchen-out of sight, out of mind, right?

But then he saw the kitchen. There were dirty dishes and open food containers everywhere. Since when did the family not just eat in the division mess hall? He sighed as he considered the prospect of washing dishes. Maybe he should just get some trainee to do them in the morning. That was the usual procedure when he or Rangiku got ambitious enough to actually attempt to cook.

That was probably the best call. Instead of worrying about the mess he started a pot of water boiling and began to search out the tea.

"The good tea's in the bottom of the rice."

Gin pulled his head out of a cabinet and turned to face Rangiku. She was leaning against the doorframe, smiling at him. "Shiro-chan likes to make ten cups a day so I hid the good stuff. He can use division tea leaves," she added.

He watched as she calmly crossed the room and shoved her arm, elbow-deep, into a bushel bag of rice and pulled out a tea tin. "Going to have to find a new place, though," she added, handing the tin over. "Shiro's discovered he likes making rice."

"Oh," Gin said softly. Kira was right; her calm was hard to read. He honestly couldn't tell if Rangiku was just too tired to be angry or if she was gathering her reserves so she could murder him in a few minutes.

He turned the tin over in his hands a few times. He could remember when she had bought him this tea for the first time, years ago when a high quality tea had been a splurge. She had gone out to join some of her friends at a sakeya and had come back alone less than an hour later. He'd asked if her friends had cancelled, and she shook her head and said, "Nope, I just missed you."

"Ran," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

"Your water's boiling."

"Ran," he broke off as she turned and walked back to the living room.

It wasn't that she didn't want to talk about it, Rangiku thought as she watched Gin set down the tea tray and carefully pour out two cups of tea. The problem was that she really had no idea where to begin. When you learned that the man you had loved and lived with for nearly a century had been a part of a vast and truly evil conspiracy, lying to everyone inside and outside the conspiracy, playing games inside games inside games, what on earth did you ask? Could you demand the truth? Was there even a truth at all or was his existence so tangled up in lies that any truth had long since been swallowed up in strategem?

She'd known for years that there were things he was hiding from her. That he would lie to her to protect her was one of the very first things she had ever known about Ichimaru Gin. But she'd also seen in his actions, over and over again, that he cared. It wasn't just her he watched over and protected. He avoided making friends but those few he had he would do anything for, and as a leader he had never risked the lives of his men. They had no idea how carefully he assigned their duties, always making sure every team was balanced and no weakness in any member would put them or the other members of their team in jeopardy. And the training they complained so much about, that they seemed to think was only about humiliating them, made them stronger, faster, and forced them to think before they acted; they learned skills that kept them alive, even if he did enjoy making the learning process as miserable as possible. And he loved the children; he had to. He'd nearly died to protect Toshiro. That was real, wasn't it? Even if everything else he had said or done was a lie, he had to have taken that blow meant for Toshiro because he loved him.

"Ran," he said softly, and she looked up, startled out of her thoughts. "Your tea's getting cold."

She smiled. "I'm used to that," she said softly. "Shiro-chan's always serving it chilled."

"The little show-off," Gin mumbled as he raised his cup to his lips.

"Like father, like son," Rangiku answered.

"I'm not-" Gin started to protest but knew that was not an argument he wanted to win. I am a show-off except for the fact that I never showed off exactly what I could do so I would always be underestimated, really didn't seem like a good way to start this conversation.

Rangiku stared at him for a moment, like she could guess his thoughts. "You saved his life. He told me, you got in front of him just in time to take the blow Aizen intended for him. He thought you had died, and he felt so bad because he realized he didn't even know you, because he never would have dreamed you would die for him."

Gin frowned. "It's what dads do," he said finally.

"I know," she agreed. "It's why I think maybe this is real. Our home. Our family. You and me. We are real, aren't we, Gin?"

"What-"

"We're not just another game, are we? I remember after the Academy, when I first became a shinigami, you avoided me. You'd only talk to me if I chased you down. And then you wanted to be with me, but you wanted to keep us secret, and you wanted me to give up Shiro!" She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to pull together her frayed nerves, so she could express the question she needed answered. "You changed your mind so suddenly. Is Aizen the reason you married me? Is Aizen the only reason we have a family?"

Gin looked down at the cup in his hand, a simple piece of earthenware pottery, just another piece of the life they had created together. It had been such a long time, decade after decade. He'd almost forgotten how it had started, that it wasn't a path he had chosen for himself.

He suddenly wished she had hit him, that she had yelled and screamed and threatened to leave. Anything would have been better than this. "I only wanted to keep you safe," he answered slowly. "Everything has been for you, Ran. Everything from the very beginning; all I've ever wanted was to protect you."

"But you didn't want to marry me," she said softly.

"I was already in over my head," he said softly. It was agony to admit, even to himself, that the plan he'd made and worked toward for nearly his entire life, had been too much from the very beginning. He had never been in control. He'd been nothing but Aizen's puppet. Playing the part of a heartless monster had made him useful to Aizen, just as he'd intended. He had become Aizen's right hand, even more useful than Tosen. There was no direction he had ever questioned; he would do anything. Anything for power, he had said, but anything for Rangiku was closer to the truth.

Aizen must have seen through him. As he pushed Gin on to more and more monstrous deeds, he must have been watching, waiting for the moment Gin would break, and it would all be too much. Aizen must have loved the moment when Gin stepped in front of Toshiro. He had finally forced Gin to discard his mask. "I thought I was fighting against him. I told myself I was learning his secrets and biding my time. I was using him to make myself strong enough to destroy him, but I was lying to myself, just like I lie to everyone else. I had given him my life. He decided everything." Gin raised his eyes to Rangiku. "All I wanted was to keep you safe, and I knew you could never be safe as long as you were near me."

"So you pushed me away," Rangiku said slowly.

"But you wouldn't be pushed. You kept coming back, and I wasn't strong enough to stay away. I failed you, Ran, in so many ways. I put you in danger, and the children, we should never-"

"Don't, please," Rangiku cut him off. "They are beautiful and wonderful and perfect. Please don't say they never should have been."

"They are somewhat exceptional," he said, forcing a smile.

Rangiku nodded. "They are worth the risk."

"When I think what Aizen may do to them-"

"We will protect them."

"We won't even see him coming," Gin said, and for the first time Rangiku saw the fear and despair he had hidden from her for all those years. He was looking at her like she was already dead. He believed their doom was already written. All he was doing now was waiting for the end to come. "I'm so sorry, Ran."

She reached out and took hold of his pale hand. "You know, there's one thing you always overlook when you make your plans. You're not alone. All this time you've always thought it was just you against him, but it's not true. You are only one of eleven captains, and I know you don't believe it, but they are just as strong and just as smart as you, and they are just as determined to defeat Aizen as you are. There are thousands of shinigami, and all of us are going to do everything we can. Even the Ryoka are going to help us. All of us working together, to me that's hope. He may be strong and he may be smart, but he can't be better than all of us. Not together."

Rangiku watched his expression change as she spoke. He watched her with a sort of fascination and wonder, a smile growing on his face. "That's my Rangiku," he said. "Tell her the world's ending, and she laughs and says she'll get her friends on that. It's no wonder everyone loves you. The only puzzle is why you're here with me."

She smiled and shook her head. "Three kids in and you still haven't figured that out? You must be the stupidest genius I've ever met."

"If you made any sort of sense you would hate me. I've brought you shame and humiliation and pain. I've put you in mortal danger. I've put your children in danger. I very nearly got Toshiro killed, and I've lied to you without ceasing since the very beginning. You should hate me. I know you never will, but I can't understand why."

"Do you love me?" she asked, abruptly.

He smiled at that. In all these years he never had told her. He wasn't even sure why. At first he had told himself it was because he had to keep her at a distance; it was a part of keeping her safe, but that was probably a lie, like everything else. It hadn't been about protecting her, it had been about him. Shiro was right. He was a coward. He never took a chance, not even with Ran, and with her he knew it has never been a risk. There'd never been a time when she wasn't absolutely and completely his.

"You know I do," he said slowly; his heart was racing like some kid confessing his first love. What a fool he was. There was nothing to be afraid of, and, after all this time, she deserved to hear it. "I love you, Rangiku."

Her eyes widened and tears began to form in the corners.

Gin spoke again quickly to cut her off before she started to cry. He wasn't yet brave enough for that. "You've always known, right from the beginning," he said, quickly, in the most careless tone he could manage. "Call me a genius if you'd like, Ran, but you've always been the smart one. You've always been able to see straight through me."

She smiled, tears delayed a little longer. "Then why is it so hard for you to see that I love you too?" she asked. "If you know I can see through all your masks then why should it surprise you that I can love the real you no matter which mask you wear?"

The real him? She saw through him in so many ways but how could she possibly love the real him? "The real me is no more worth loving than any other part I play," he answered her, looking down at the dark wood grain of the tabletop. "The real me chose those parts, after all."

"The real you is a starving little boy who offered a starving little girl some food and gave her a home. The real you is a little boy who saw a monster of unbelievable power and resolved to destroy it no matter what it cost him. The real you is a man who taught his tiny son to hide his reiatsu so the Gotei would not make him into a soldier and he could have a childhood. The real you is a man who risked everything to save his friend's wife, and the real you very nearly died for his son. That's the real you, Gin. That's the you I love."

"Not the asshole who makes the nobility in his squad do all the cleaning just so he can tell them off for doing it wrong and make them do it again?" he said, forcing a joking tone.

"Oh, I definitely love that asshole-you think I want to clean this house myself?" Rangiku said with an answering smile.

He really smiled then. "That's good because I'm pretty sure nothing less than death will ever take him from your side, and death is going to have to put up a very good fight because I'm not going to go easy."

"I love you, Ichimaru Gin, and I always will."

"Do you love me enough to let me come to bed with you?" he asked.

She lunged forward, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him. It was a terrible fault of theirs, turning to the physical when words were hard. There was so much she needed to ask and he needed to explain. There was still no trust, no truth, no certainty, but as long as she was in his arms it didn't matter. She could never doubt his love as long as his hands were on her. When she was in his arms she felt so completely loved and treasured, she could not imagine there was anyone in the universe who should not envy her.

"Mom, Dad?" Toshiro's voice shattered the moment. "Can we come in?"

Rangiku jerked away from Gin, straightening her kimono automatically. "Yes, of course," she answered quickly.

The door slid open as Gin turned to face them. The two brothers stood hand in hand, for a moment just staring at their father. Toshiro's expression was hard. He had gained a greater understanding of his father over the past few days, but while he looked at Gin with greater concern than he had ever shown in the past, his frowning gaze still showed suspicion.

Kinta, though only half Toshiro's age, reached his brother's shoulder. He was so like his mother with his golden red curls and bright eyes. He looked toward his father hopefully, with the absolute love and trust most children might show. "Daddy?" he said, an edge of fear in his eager voice.

"Kinta had to see you're alright," Toshiro explained.

"Hey, Kin-chan," Gin said, smiling at the boy.

Kinta released Toshiro and rushed into his father's arms. "Daddy! I missed you!" he cried.

Gin hugged him tight. "I missed you too, Kin-chan."

Rangiku smiled at Kinta and Gin, and her eyes went to Toshiro still standing in the doorway. The boy was so serious and so determined to be strong, but she could see the jealousy in his eyes as he watched his brother so easily and naturally welcome their father home.

She reached out a hand to Toshiro, beckoning him in. He frowned back at her, but he came, with a great show of reluctance. He walked slowly into the room and stopped just beside his father and brother, looking awkward and uncomfortable.

"Oh, come here, Shiro," Gin said and grabbed Toshiro by the wrist, dragging him into the hug.

Rangiku had to bite back the urge to laugh. Toshiro was still managing to look unhappy, but he was hugging Gin just as tight as Kinta was. He might not want to admit it, but he needed his daddy too.