we became what we become

That we all wanted to be something
That we all became something
And it might not be the shit we once thought we'd be when we were kids, but something is still something
And like some cats say: something is better than nothing

— "Here I Am" by Anis Mojgani

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In Kiri, Mei says: "Good riddance."

Like any real fight involving Kiri ninja, the fight against Yagura had taken them down to the shore and then out onto the water. What's left of Yagura's body has sunk into the ocean, never to bother anyone again.

The black sand beaches and high cliffs stretch out behind them, littered with lesser enemies than the one they've just put down and allies already starting to seal away corpses. Truthfully Mei had done mostly of the work against the Yondaime. Zabuza had watched her back and played support.

Zabuza is good, sure, but he's a kenjutsu expert. Swords are not well-known for being useful against bijū, which makes them of limited use against jinchūriki, especially because Kubikiribōchō doesn't eat chakra or fling lightning.

Under their feet, the choppy waves still hold the unnatural sheen of the Sanbi's hallucinogenic mist, not yet faded.

"How pissed do you think the Daimyo will be if this contaminates the fish?" Zabuza asks.

Mei shrugs. "I'm not worried about it. Unless... you think someone's going to make sure it's a problem?" She's looking at him. Carefully. Too carefully, really, especially for someone who just got done killing a jinchūriki and couldn't possibly be prepared for another fight so soon.

Not that Zabuza thinks he could beat her, even right now. Not that he even wants to.

"Subtle," Zabuza mutters. "Are we really going to do this?"

"It's been a long time coming," Mei says, voice level.

"I thought we'd already settled it," Zabuza says back, just as level.

Usually he'd scoff, turn away from her to watch the shore. Give her his back to show that they're comrades. That sort of thing had been important, with the rebellion. Being different from what they were fighting. Trusting each other. But with the way she's holding herself, the way she holds herself loosely and lets her body move with the rolling of the sea beneath them, ready to use the slightest of height advantages to start a fight... better not to. Just in case. They are Kiri ninja again, after all.

"Don't insult me," she demands. "I won't back down, you should know that by now."

"Yeah, I fucking know it. Everyone knows it. Look where you are. Look what you've done." Zabuza gestures back towards the shore, towards the village. Some parts of it are visibly smouldering stil, and they'd utterly obliterated the sea glass mosaic in the main plaza with their first attack on Yagura, but they've won. Mei has won, even if she is being stupid about it.

Mei doesn't even glance at the village. "I wouldn't be the first bloodline user you've used. Not that I haven't appreciated the productive cease-fire, Zabuza, but everyone knows you want to be Mizukage. It was always going to come to this."

"First, Haku is my student," Zabuza growls at her. "Second, stop being a paranoid idiot, Mizukage-sama."

Mei actually jerks, like addressing her by the title she rightfully earned about ten minutes ago is a shock.

"No one wants me to lead the village," he tells her bluntly. "Not even Haku, and that kid has supported me through some truly shitty plans. I don't even want me leading the village, for fuck's sake. I just want it to change. That's what I've always wanted."

He kind of wishes they weren't on the water, because he can't lay Kubikiribōchō down here without working his chakra control very carefully over the surface of the water and he doesn't have the energy or attention for that. Instead he slings it over his back and the magnet on his harness strap catches and holds it.

"If you think I have to die to complete the change, then fine. I said I'd follow your orders when I joined your rebellion and I fucking meant it. But you should probably send me out to die doing something useful so you have a nice lie to tell Haku, and that means we should wait until you've got the hat on your head."

Zabuza's not certain, when he stops speaking, that Mei's really going to accept that as the truth that it is — bitterly, Zabuza supposes he should have expected this level of distrust, given that his first and only effective social change for Kiri involved slaughtering more than a hundred kids to make a point — but she does eventually relax. As much as one can in the middle of seizing control of a Hidden Village, anyway.

"I don't know," she says, thoughtful. "I like how it sounds when you address me so respectfully. Do it again."

They turn towards Kirigakure together.

"Shut up, Godaime-sama," Zabuza mutters.

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In Kiri, Haku says: "No, you both did very well."

Yoro sniffs. "We lost."

"Zabuza-sensei has been so grumpy," Shiku adds.

"It's hard to see, but he's very proud of you. He's..." Haku trails off, reconsidering what he was about to tell them. Lamely, he finishes, "...just a grumpy person."

Yoro and Shiku don't exactly look skeptical (Zabuza is frequently grumpy) but they're not as easily duped as civilian children of the same age would be. Haku's attempt to explain without explaining won't satisfy them.

"You lost, too," Shiku points out.

Haku is silent for a moment, considering his options. Really, lying to them — treating them like the children he had met while traveling with Zabuza — probably isn't the right call. They're young, but they're genin. Ninja. Haku isn't directly their teacher by any stretch of the imagination, but he is their senpai. He shouldn't let them think martial success is the only kind one can have.

"Winning all of our fights was never really the goal," Haku says eventually. "Kiri had to look strong, yes, but... we achieved something much more important than actually winning.

"Remember the way people looked at us when we arrived?" He asks them "Remember how different it was when we left?"

He walks them through the exam from their arrival in the village to their departure.

Yoro breaks in at one point to ask, "But was sitting with them and having snacks and stuff really that weird? I thought Cloud was just really mean and rude."

"You said Shikako-san and Sasuke-san are your friends, it's not weird to sit with friends," Shiku says.

They're so young. So terribly, wonderfully young.

"They are my friends," Haku says. "But letting you sit in the middle of their group was a show of trust. A show of our strong alliance."

Both girls eye him.

Shiku asks, "So was them letting you put your ice on them a big deal, too?"

"I thought you were flirting with her," Yoro mutters. "But I guess that woulda been a bad time for it."

"I was just trying to make her feel better," Haku says. "But a Konoha ninja being willing to be crowned with my ice was certainly notable to anyone watching, yes. As notable as Shikako being willing to step onto Sabaku no Gaara's sand after their match."

"Seeing her swallowed up like that was scary," Yoro says.

They hadn't even allowed the twins to hear any of the stories about Sand's jinchūriki, and probably for the better.

"It was," Haku acknowledges. He had been sitting next to Yamanaka Ino and she'd muttered a quiet no when the sand had grabbed Shikako, pulled her in, disappeared her from the sky.

But even worse had been that evening, after the fight. Zabuza-sama and Mei-sama coming back from investigating the explosion and explaining to him and Chojuro in quiet tones that one of the Grass factions had tried to kidnap Nara Shikako.

Of course Zabuza has been in a bad mood since then. Haku has been in a bad mood since then.

Now that they're back in Kiri, Haku expects that Zabuza will be plenty distracted by returning to lessons with the Academy students and ironing out problems that had been highlighted in himself, Chojuro, and the twins. And he'll probably never directly address the twins' anxiety about their performance... because he knows that Haku will do it, honestly. He's lazy and afraid Yoro and Shiku might cry.

Haku tells the girls as much about the alliance with Leaf and Sand as he can, everything that isn't above their security level, and concludes, "The important part about the exam is that we showed well, made a good impression, and will have many more clients willing to hire us and even come to our exam next year when you compete again."

Shiku huffs a sigh. "We'll still be younger than everyone then," she says.

"We'll probably get beat again," Yoro says. "But it's dumb we gotta fight alone, anyway!"

"What we should do is get a third teammate like the Leaf nin have!" Shiku gives several punching and and a spinning kick to the air in her path that vaguely mimic Rock Lee's moveset.

"Yeah!" Yoro jabs the air in front her with her hands folded into the strange four-fingered folded-thumb strike of the Hyūga Jyūken.

Haku stifles a giggle. "Teamwork is very important, and will serve you well in the field," he says. "But we'll be working much more on your individual skills so fighting alone is less... dumb."

The twins groan at the thought of more individual training, and Haku knows they'll probably switch around as much as possible to try and dupe whichever teacher has time for them. It's good practice, although it will be awhile before they can fool anyone.

"That's for later," Haku soothes them. "For now... we have some time off. Did I tell you about the water fight Zabuza-sama and I had with Team 7?"

"Uh, we heard you maybe tried to kill them when you met them," Shiku says.

Yoro says, "Which is pretty rude."

"It was business," Haku says easily. It clearly doesn't bother Team 7 anymore. They'd stopped caring seemingly the moment Gatō had shown up. "No, this was after — I could tell you, but I thought maybe we should go find Zabuza-sama and have a physical demonstration."

Yoro whines, "If we have the day off why are you trying to get us to train?"

"Oh, it's not training," Haku says. "You'll see."

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In Kiri, Shikako says: "This is Haku—"

And of course Haku can see the writing on the wall clearly, he's not an idiot. He steps forward as if on cue and bows to the Sanbi like he's meeting an honored guest. He says to Shikako, "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine," and then to the Sanbi, "I am pleased to meet you."

The crazy thing is that Mei actually gets the impression that he means it. That the endorsement of these two Leaf ninja is the only thing Haku needs to get on board with the Sanbi's personhood.

His report of the twenty-three step handshake he'd done with the Leaf and Sand genin in the mess hall at the Grass exams had been surprising enough; Mei hadn't even heard much about the encounter in Wave before then, so she'd been blindsided. But even now that she knows, even after seeing Haku politely and carefully spar with the two Hyūga and a Leaf weapons mistress during the Grass tournament, even knowing their chances at an alliance with Leaf and Sand are almost entirely built around Haku's connection with a trio of Leaf genin...

It's still incredible to watch. It's so genuine — Haku has been open about that. He connected with them, and sees no reason why his affiliation with the village should reasonably conflict with that friendship.

"What if you're on the opposite side of a contract from them?" Mei had asked.

"I expect we'll have an enjoyable time testing each other," Haku had replied serenely. "And if the alliance holds, it won't ever be much of a problem. But it isn't as if we've never been on opposing sides before.

Naturalizing ninja born and raised outside the village is a headache and a half, especially when they're as skilled as Haku, but Mei sees at every turn signs that it's worked with Haku.

In this case, he turns and begins to rattle off a long, long list of introductions, many of them for ninja Mei was unaware Haku had ever met. Several of the lower ranked ninja stand up a little straighter when Haku accurately and casually introduces them.

With Haku's example of how well an outsider can blend into her forces, and the Leaf and Sand contingents looking on, each of them frightfully friendly in their own ways, how could Mei do anything but smile, call the Sanbi by name, and invite him to her wedding?

Killing Isobu had been nothing personal, after all, and he really adds to the ambiance of the wedding ceremony. Mei has always wanted to be a wife, of course, but it wouldn't do for people to forget everything else she is.

In the brief pause between the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the reception, Mei has time to check in with Ao, who's been carefully keeping his distance to keep from possibly upsetting the Leaf contingent.

"We'll have to have a team start work on stabilizing the cliff that the Sanbi hit as soon as all of our guests leave," Ao reports. "Evacuation of all buildings near the edge of the cliffs started immediately."

"And the water?"

Ao does that tilt of his head that he does that means the stolen Byakugan behind his eyepatch is activated. "The whole surface of the ocean is glowing, like algae," Ao says. "It didn't do that when you killed the Yagura — must because it's just sitting there. The Kazekage is loitering nearby."

Mei purses her lips. "I need Haku with me for the reception. Go relieve him. Be polite, Ao, and don't mention anything that might insult them, including Shunshin no Shisui."

He gives her a surprised look, and Mei only barely keeps from huffing in exasperation.

"Of course I remember that, and of course I know you want to test the last Uchiha to compare him with his dead cousin," she says, patiently. "And I'm telling you, don't. With any luck they don't even know about your eye. Keep it that way. Be anonymous."

"Yes, Mizukage-sama," Ao says, a bit stiffly but not with any real resistance. He goes to get Haku.

"I would have been happy to keep Isobu company," Haku tells her as they head towards the reception, Zabuza grumbling all the while about more diplomacy does it ever end, Mei, I can't take it, why did you schedule things like this.

"I'm sure," Mei says. "But I need you here." It's important that Haku get all the right introductions — an old bitter rebel like Mei can't stay Mizukage forever after all.

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In Kiri, Zabuza says, "No."

Mei doesn't look at him, not even a flick of her eyes in his direction. That's fair — right now, in this room, despite the fact that the cleanup from the wedding is still happening down on the beach, Zabuza isn't her husband. He's her shinobi, just the Head of the Academy. She doesn't actually have to take his opinion into account; she didn't even have to let him into the room for this conversation.

Still.

"I don't like it," Zabuza adds. He knows he probably sounds like one of his pre-genin in a good, determined sulk, but it's just him and Mei and Haku in the room.

Granted, back in the day a good Kiri nin wouldn't have so much as frowned at his own wife and student without a half-dozen ulterior motives for showing emotion. Especially not a wife ranked above him and a student who's already made jōnin and keeps distinguishing himself politically. But, as Mei keeps saying, if they want Kiri to change they have to change from the top down.

"It isn't your choice, Zabuza-sama," Haku says. He's looking at Zabuza, of course, his face just as damn expressive as it's always been, since he was a child. His eyes are sympathetic, brows pulled up to flash those understanding doe eyes at Zabuza, but the set of his mouth is firm.

"That doesn't mean I have to like it," Zabuza grumbles. "It's not the worst thing we've ever thought to do with the Sanbi, but that's a bar so low a civilian could step over it."

Now Mei looks at him. She says, "Stop that. You know better."

Zabuza scowls at her. "Fine," he says. "So low that Iwa nin couldn't crawl under it. Are they still fair game? That old bastard Ōnoki was no fucking help."

Civilians looking to live in Kiri should probably know that they can't physically keep up with ninja and get over it, but whatever. Civilians are Mei's problem. Zabuza just has to keep his mouth shut about them enough to fall in line with her whole culture shift plan and not end up sent on endless D- and C-ranks like Muteki Sokuteki had been, running around after civilians to 'gain perspective' on them. Mei had made it clear before they even announced the marriage that being her husband would mean being held to higher standards, not lower standards. She'd probably enjoy the hell out of making him fetch and carry for civilian grandmothers for a couple weeks.

Mei gives him that damn sly smile of hers, the same one she gets after she covers a particularly pesky enemy in lava. The same one she gave him when she invited the Sanbi to their wedding. She says, "We didn't invite Ōnoki the Fencesitter to make him into an ally."

She's so dangerous. Zabuza loves it.

"What is the worst thing we've done with Isobu?" Haku asks. He looks kind of worried about it — soft hearted thing that he is — but Zabuza is a little more focused on the way he so casually says we . Everytime Zabuza turns around lately he's been surprised by how easily Haku has bought into the village.

"Some idiot decided we should try to unleash it on Leaf in the Third War," Zabuza says. "As if they wouldn't have sealed the damn thing up and turned it back against us in about five minutes." As if they wouldn't have pulled out some kind of vengeful, impossible bullshit to unleash on Kiri in return.

"Hm," Haku says, looking thoughtful.

"Don't ask any of the Leaf ninja about it," Zabuza tells him. The report is a little vague about what exactly had gone down with Kakashi during that whole mess, since anyone close enough to know for sure had ended up very dead shortly after, but reminding him about it would probably be a mistake.

Haku nods obediently, but Zabuza knows he might still do it, if he finds time alone with that Nara girl. That's probably fine. Haku also says, "That's something else that's going to have to change."

Zabuza looks at him blankly.

"You can't keep calling Isobu it, shishō," Haku says patiently. "He obviously has feelings. He is not a weapon. Not our tool. Shikako promised we would be his friends and he attended your wedding."

Mei says, "Excellent point. He's our comrade now. Dehumanising him—" She pauses. "Dehumanising...?"

They all stare at each other.

"...calling him 'it' is wrong," Mei finishes, abandoning the search for a better word than 'dehumanize'.

"I didn't mean it that way." Zabuza crosses his arms. He really hadn't. That was just... how everyone usually talked about bijū. "Anyway, someone else should be jinchūriki. Not that you're a bad choice, Haku, but it'll just make you a target."

"I'm a jōnin of Kirigakure," Haku says. "And I've been defeated twice by jinchūriki — easily, even, given that the Kazekage was holding back strength in reserve during our bout. Hoshigaki Kisame is unlikely to return. Kurosuki Raiga is almost certainly dead. For Kiri to be strong..."

Mei is leaning back in her chair, knowing that Haku will argue him around more effectively than she ever could. Damn them both. Haku is right and Zabuza hates it.

Haku must sense his reluctant acceptance, because he smiles and adds, "Besides, I'll be in good company. I've enjoyed the Kazekage's company and Naruto-kun is wonderful. He'll probably be excited."

"Hmm," Mei says. She's giving Haku that sharp smile again, pleased like a cat that knows where its next meal will come from. "Yes, I think you'll be in very good company, when you put it that way."

And the thing is: of course Zabuza hasn't missed that Mei is already scoping out potential Rokudaime candidates.

He's not blind, first of all, and second he's been the one who's had to have all those conversations that start Darling, what do you think of...? and end with the name of someone Haku's age or younger who's showing promise. And Haku is damn well the best out of all of them, hands down.

But it still hits Zabuza like an enraged boss summons that it's almost certain that Haku will be Mizukage some day. In the near future, potentially, because Mei's always spoken of trying to prepare the village for younger leadership, untouched by the Mist she and Zabuza grew up in, and...

Zabuza can see it. Haku standing next to Sabaku no Gaara, both of them in their formal Kage robes. And maybe Uzumaki Naruto, too, or Nara Shikako, or even Uchiha Sasuke. One of them, and the other two at the Hokage's back.

Like salt in the air before you even see the ocean, Zabuza can taste it. An alliance that could last decades. Time enough for Kirigakure to really recover. It certainly won't be perfect, they won't be young and idealistic forever — even in Kiri everyone knows that Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara eventually split over irreconcilable differences — but it could be great while it lasts.

"Fine," Zabuza says, as if he has any say at all in this, as if he isn't just hurtling uncontrollably towards a seemingly inevitable, bright future. "But I want a real introduction before that turtle goes inside you."

"Only if you promise not to be mean to him," Haku says serenely. "He's sensitive."

"Of course he is," Zabuza mutters to himself.

"Treat him like one of your pre-genin," Mei suggests. She sounds terribly amused.

It's useless to protest, but — "They're not my pre-genin."

"Sure they are," Mei says. "They all call you sensei. It's adorable. Go have your talk with Isobu-san; the sealing will be happening tonight."

He and Haku leave. On the way to see the bijū, Haku says, "Don't worry. I already told him all about you and he's excited to be your friend."

Zabuza groans. "Haku—"

"He asked if he can call you 'sensei' too."

"Haku—"

"I told him yes."

"HAKU!"

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OC notes: The briefly mentioned Muteki Sokuteki (霧笛 足笛) is "Foghorn Leghorn" an American cartoon character from the Looney Toons. There's honestly no reason for this except that I thought it was really funny.