A/N: I'm so so sorry... I haven't updated this story in weeks! I've been so so busy.

Hope this chapter will make it up to you all :D

(This chapter is heavy on whouffaldi fluff.)

Clara groaned as she shifted. Under her was such a soft surface, and she could feel a fleecy quilt wrapped delicately around her. Her head was resting on soft pillows. Opening her eyes, the former companion gazed into the roaring fire. Wrapped in such a delicate way, it felt like Clara was in heaven, or rather... wrapped in clouds. And she felt such strange warmth surrounding her... A warmth she hadn't felt in ages, a warmth with made her remember nostalgic memories...

How did she even fall asleep?

Then she remembered.
The Doctor.
Her Doctor was there.

But she couldn't feel her.

Clara sat up slowly and looked around her, still drowsy after such peaceful sleep.
Nope. She wasn't there.

The girl placed the soft quilt on one side, and made her way out of the room into the corridor.

The TARDIS squealed as Clara entered the console room half asleep. Me was under the console, arranging the mechanisms. "You're awake." Said Me. "So it seems..." Clara murmured. "Where's the Doctor?" "Oh" said Me, as she lowered down a tool and took another. "She told me she has to feed her 27 stomachs. In fact it's been a while since she went to the kitchen." Clara chuckled. "Why does she always exaggerate?" Me stared at the companion quizzically. "Then what did she say?" The Mire- Human hybrid replied. "He... Well... She... The Doctor had said to me that she has 27 brains." The girl laughed. Me looked at Clara. "And when did she say that? I mean, I guess the exaggeration isn't due the regeneration, isn't it? Until she settles a bit?" The former companion smiled at the thought. "The bowtie Doctor told me the first time we met." Me chuckled from under the console. "A neat way to impress a girl on her first date."
"Shut up you." Clara giggled.
"Gotcha." Me smirked.

The frozen girl turned to go into the corridor to find the Doctor, when she turned back to the console just as she took the first step down the stairs. "Need anythin'?" "Nah." Me replied. "But I'm probably going to need the Doctor's help sooner or later. I'm having the impulse to throw this manual out of the TARDIS." The companion giggled once again, before heading to the corridor.

As Clara walked down the corridor to the kitchen, the TARDIS squealed. The girl stopped and placed her hand delicately on the wall. She was almost caressing the wall in a soothing manner. "What's wrong, old gal?"
The Doctor's in the Library, Clara.

She felt baffled. Why would the Doctor go back to the Library? Or maybe she never left...

Clara trusted her TARDIS. Through these numerous years, a strong bond has grown between the two... More like the Doctor and his TARDIS.

What did she want from the Library? Doubt that the Doctor would want to read some fiction after having her cells remodelled.

And so Clara changed her route and delved deeper into the time machine to the Library. She stood in front of the huge door, holding in to the door knob.
What was she going to say to the Doctor?
But, after all, she must not feel ashamed. It was just the Doctor.
Her Doctor.
There was nothing to be afraid of.

Clara didn't even bother to knock. She slowly turned the door knob, making virtually no sound. She closed the door behind her, but saw no one on the couch. But she did see the quilt with which she was covered after the Doctor left her to sleep in peace. Then, just then, the girl heard muffled sobbing. She scowered across the endless corridors of the ground floor of the Library...
before finding a huddled Doctor, sitting on the floor in the corner, behind the large bookcases, her knees close to her chest holding a large book on her knees. Clara was still hidden in the shadows, looking over her. The time lady sniffed her nose inside her handkerchief and flipped the page. The Doctor continued to read as she bit her bottom lip so hard that Clara thought she was going to start seeing blood trickle down the Doctor's chin. The latter continued to read, stroking the letters. Just before the time lady flipped the page, Clara stepped out of the darkness. "Doctor?" The time lady gasped and looked up at the former companion. "I'm I'm..." The time lady, frustrated was going to close the book, but Clara grabbed the right hand side of the book before the Doctor was able to close it. "I have nothing to hide, Doctor. I never thought you would read them but... It helps me keep my memories. I'm too scared that the same thing that happened to Me would happen to..." She breathed a small laugh, as did the Doctor.

Clara sat down near the Doctor, resting her head on her friend's shoulder. The companion looked at the date.

Day 363

She smiled lightly.
Oh yes... That day...

Today, I decided to take Me to see Akhaten... It was a heartache, but I had to do it. I have to move on.

It was as beautiful as I remember it... As beautiful as the day the bowtie Doctor took me there as my first adventure. I could never forget the day where I was ready to give up something as sentimental as my mother's ring.

And the Leaf.

The Leaf is more sentimental than anything I can think of. Not only because it was because of it I was born, but everything I am is because of it. My echoes live because of it. The Leaf I still hold on to is the Doctor's. I gave up mine that day on Akhaten to save the planets, but the one I have is the one which helped me keep to my sanity in a day I didn't know who I was.

I was everyone, and I was no one I could recognise.

My mind was just one huge blur composed of pain and sorrow and so. Many. Deaths.

But I never regret I splintered myself into a million pieces just for the Doctor.

The Doctor looked at Clara. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even. She was so peaceful in such a form. She was so hurt... Probably so many nights crying because the Doctor did not know who she was.

Clara? Clara who?

And now the time lady knew who Clara was. She remembered everything...
For her scent.
To her laugh.
To how she looked like.
There was everything...

Even what she had said in the Cloisters... Oh what she had said... It still rung in the Doctor's ears.

The latter smiled sadly before turning back to the book.

Day 364

Me heard me crying again. I don't know for how long I have to take this torture.

I just want to see him... To hear him calling my name just once again before I die.

I don't want to die in this misery...
I don't want to die...
Not yet.

Day 365

Me decided she would make another concession today... So I dried my tears and immediately went to research about the Doctor's whereabouts a year after we parted, excluding any time travel...

21st November 2016.

Happy Deathiversary, Clara...

We found that him and his new companion had travelled to Victorian London on that day... Yes... Victorian London... Another place I used to dread in my dreams...

He took his companion... Bill, if I'm not mistaken, to the Frost Fair... She looked quite hesitant to make some decisions... It showed that she was new to time-travelling.

I remember the day he had taken me to the Frost Fair. It had been a few years before Trap Street, when I had just started showing my interest towards Danny... (I feel my eyes sting everytime I think about him... About how much I lied to him to stay with the Doctor... About the things I've said when he was a cyberman).

The Doctor was so elegant the day he took me to the Fair. Now that I look back, I remember how beautifulhe was. But the suit he wore today wasn't the same he wore with me. Maybe the TARDIS had descarded everyrhing that had to do with me. That's ok. She knows what's best for him. I would have done the same thing too had I been the time machine.

The Doctor wore wearing a top hat and such an elegant suit. He looked so handsome and somewhat funny in it... But he looked so masculine (not that he never looks masculine in any other outfit...)

I remember he took me to the Frost Fair once... When I was still getting used to him, when I was still oblivious to the fact that I could fall in love with a Scottish madman like him. The Doctor was so elegant that day. Now that I look back, I remember how beautiful he had been. But the suit he wore today wasn't the same he wore with me. Maybe the TARDIS had descarded everything that had to do with me, or at least, hidden out of sight. That's ok. She knows what's best for him. I would have done the same thing too had I been the time machine. We had such a wonderful time together. At least it was one of the most peaceful adventures.

The Doctor... I watched him talking to Bill... With his fluffy white-hair and cute wrinkles.

And that smile. It makes mesmile too every time I think about it... I remember the day when he refused to smile at all. I was still scared back then... A new regeneration and stuff. But then he started to become more soft-hearted, smile more... Laugh more. I became more aware that he looked at me more often with time (he became less cautious of when I wasn't looking at him. He would sometimes just stare at me. I'd laugh and he's get all red in the face. I loved -love- him for that. And not only for that. I could go on for days (well... Now I have all the days in the Universe).

Many people say that the longer you live, the happier the person. I'd always thought of the contrary... The longer the life, the sadder the days... And the greater the burden. The Doctor always tried to hide that burden. Before it was worse... Before, there was the burden of killing his own kind, now there's the burden of not being able to find them. I hope I'd see the day where I look into his eyes where I see that burden no longer, and he'd be a little more of a lightened spirit.

I continue on observing him for the whole day, even when trouble struck. I had eavesdropped on the conversation between Bill and the Doctor in the tent after they had been set free. He asked her what she wanted to do with the creature. (At least he hadn't left her alone at the fair... Like he did to me. But that is something of the past. I'd long forgiven him for it. Because he had never abandoned me again. Not even on Trap Street.)

Bill had made the right decision. To be kind.

I was unable to help openly... I didn't want to risk him seeing me, and it's not just because me told me not to. But I did leave some hints here and there, some breadcrumbs for the Doctor to follow.

I miss him so much. I missed him taking my hand into his and running away from danger. Had we come here together,that'show we have solved it. How I wish to pass my fingers through his trough of hair, and smell his time-travelling scent. I must say... I too smell time-travel in my TARDIS. But his was so so... Beautiful. So much more beautiful. It radiated such a small sweet hint of cinnamon, and a pinch of cologne. The smell I used to be engulfed in when we used to snuggle on our Library couch, or on my bed... Especially when I used to be sick. His warmth used to engulf me, his arms wrapped around me in such a tender way. I would have never thought in the first few months I travelled with the Scottish incarnation that he could be so soft... so gentle... That his low purr could make my heart flutter.

I never thought I would have fallen in love with him.

And it feels nothinglike the love I had for Chin-boy.

As I see him, striding along the ice, a thought just comes into my mind and it doesn't want to leave me alone. My eyes stung as I remembered so many fond memories we've had together. I want him so bad. Me, of course, doesn't want me to talk to him or even go near to him. It's already risky that I'm following him, she says. But she understands my feelings for him too...

He laughed... His other companion, Bill... She seems quite happy. I envy her just a slight bit... I must admit. What I wouldn't give to be instead of her for just another adventure with him... With my- the madman with a box (he's not my daft old man anymore... He doesn't even remember who I am...). But after all, my time with the Doctor has come to a close a long time ago. Even my life... For that matter. But at the same time... It's good. Bill has her wonderful chance (and she looks happy about it) and the Doctor... The Doctor seems like he's forgotten me for good. And the less he sees of me watching him, the better. Because... I don't want us to be the Hybrid again. Not that I don't love him... Quite the contrary. Actually, the total contrary. I love him to the point of sacrifice. But it's too risky. But after all, as long as I'm alive, I will always miss him.

Maybe it's time to start considering going back to Gallifrey for good...

I guess it would be better for both of us...

A/N: (Don't worry... The chapter's name was just a metaphor for the books Clara used to confess her love for the Doctor xD) Hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is appreciated as always :D Will update asap!