Inspired by a Tumblr post on itsallavengers page:

"I'd like to imagine that Tony Stark's facial hair is so Iconic™ that one day when he decides to shave it on a whim the entire world literally loses their collective shit."

Warnings: Bisexual Tony, Kidnapping, Assassination Attempt, Swearing.

Disclaimer: It should be obvious that I don't own Marvel or the Avengers and personally, it's a bit silly that I have to mention this...

Crossposted on my AO3, which is anxious_soul

What was the one thing that everyone associated with Tony Stark? The one iconic thing that no one could remember Stark without? It was his facial hair. His trademark beard to be specific. The one Tony spends hours perfecting. The one he had been with since the age of twenty-one. No one really knew what he looked like without the beard because, by the time he had grown one, he'd taken over Stark Industries and whilst he was in the news an awful lot beforehand, he was in the news far more now that he owned Stark Industries. The point is, no one could recall Tony Stark without his beard.

1: Natasha

Tony stumbled out of the elevator at 5 am on the common floor. He was heading towards the kitchen because he wanted some coffee and unfortunately, Dum-E had dropped his coffee machine…Tony didn't know why his child robot was even near the man's beloved coffee machine. He didn't expect anyone else to be awake other than Steve, but he had left no more than ten minutes ago to go on his very long and very boring run. Yeah, the blond wouldn't be back for a good hour and a half.

"Oh. Hello Nat." Tony murmured as he made himself a cup of coffee and spied to redhead sitting on the island with a half-empty tub of 'Ben & Jerry's' Ice cream and a spoon in her mouth. "Bad night?" He asked as he turned around to face her, lifting the mug up to his face as he took a sip. Looking back at the woman, he was surprised to find her directly in front of him. Her narrowed glare was the last thing he saw before his world went dark. He heard his mug break as it hit the ground spreading coffee all over the floor.

—LINE BREAK—

When the dark-haired man came to, he found himself handcuffed to a table in what appeared to be an interrogation room. He sighed.

"Can someone let me out, please? Look I even said 'please'!" Tony heaved another heavy sigh and the door opened, "Nat! Yay, you rescue me, please."

"Who are you?" She asked standing in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest,

"Err…what?"

"Who are you and how did you get into the residential floors of the Avengers Tower?"

"Be…cause I'm allowed to…" He said slowly as though he didn't know what she was asking for, "I'm sorry, what is going on exactly? Did Clint rope you into a prank? Of course, he has. Okay. Ha…ha. It's absolutely hilarious. Now un-cuff me." He demanded, his voice serious and any amusement he previously expressed gone in a flash. Natasha leaned forward, showing her cleavage in an attempt to persuade him, perhaps.

"You are in no position to make demands." She growled before she stood straight again, "But no worries. Eventually, you will tell me what I wish to know." She began to walk to the door and before she left she faced the billionaire, "I have yet to fail an interrogation and a man younger than I will most definitely not be my first." She walked out leaving an even more stunned and confused Tony. The billionaire looked directly in front of him at the mirror (a two-way one, of course) and stared at his reflection. He frowned. Sure, he looked a little bit younger without the beard but certainly not as young as Natasha implicated. Nor did he appear unrecognisable…right?

—LINE BREAK—

About an hour had passed and Tony sat there inwardly crying. All he had wanted this morning was a cup of coffee and all he wanted now was that cup of coffee that he had yet to get. Finally, the door opened once more and Natasha came in followed by two men.

"Oh thank fuck! Please tell your crazy redhead to release me. And get someone to grab me a coffee, I'm dying!" Tony exclaimed as the trio walked over to the table,

"Agent Romanov…what's going on?" Fury asked as Coulson uncuffed the whining billionaire and helping him up,

"I need coffee!" Tony whined as he grasped onto everyone's favourite agent, "coffee coffee coffee!" He chanted,

"Shush," Coulson whispered clearly wanting an answer out of the assassin like his superior,

"This man accessed the residential floors of Avengers Tower. Surely it is protocol to arrest and interrogate a stranger breaking in." She stated rather than turned to Fury and Coulson,

"Honestly, I don't look that different! All I did was shave! I mean you both recognised me after all."

"We've watched you grow up, though. We know what you look like without a beard. Romanov's mistake, whilst grand, can be overlooked as you're quite different without your iconic beard." Fury answered, his eye flicking between Tony and a stunned Natasha.

"Wait. Tony?"

"Finally!" He exclaimed turning to the redhead,

"I am so sorry." She said sincerely, reaching out to touch his shoulder perhaps, before dropping her hand unsure what to do. Tony could tell that it had been a genuinely unfortunate happening.

"Eh, it's alright. Just get me a coffee and all is forgiven." He shrugged offering her a smile before he turned to the other two. "Does being beardless really make me look younger? Nat said I was younger than her -obviously, I'm not."

"Yes. It knocks a good ten years or so off of you. But, the beard makes you look more mature and surprisingly serious despite its oddity." Fury answered once more, "Now scram." He growled but he didn't sound angry, more amused and Tony could detect a look of fondness in both Fury's eye and Coulson's ones.

"Aye, aye, Uncle Nick!" Tony grinned cheekily and childishly as the black man had been somewhat like an uncle to Tony as he grew up. The bald man glared as the pair left.

2: Clint

As he made his way through the vents towards Tony's lab, Clint smirked to himself. Spying the man through the vents, Tony had his back to the archer and was focusing intently on his new Iron Man suit gauntlet. Leaping down from the vent, the ACDC music being blasted covered any sound the man could've made as he snuck up behind Tony.

"Yo!" He shouted in the billionaire's ear. Tony jumped and tripped over, landing on the floor after smacking his head on the corner of the desk, hard enough to cause Clint to wince.

"Son of a fucking bitch!" Tony shouted as he clutched his bleeding forehead and turned to face Clint.

"Holy shit. I am so sorry. I thought you were my friend Tony. I mean you look a hell of a lot like him from behind, especially your ass -dude how'd you get it like that? I mean Tony has a fantastic ass too, but I'd never tell him that or ask but still- anyway, not the point. I'm so sorry. Here let me grab something to clean it with." Clint rambled wide-eyed as Tony continued to stare at the man with a raised eyebrow (on the side that wasn't dripping with blood). Tony didn't know if he should be surprised or not. Both Natasha and now Clint haven't recognised him without a beard. "Here, press this to the wound. Honestly, I am so sorry, dude. I thought you were Tony. Wait what are you doing here anyway? And where is Tony at?" Tony stood, pressing the damp cloth to his bleeding temple,

"JARVIS, pull up the hologram of the 'Tony Stark Iconic Beard' please." Clint looked confused but when the hologram appeared on Tony's face, realisation hit him like a truck.

"Holy fucking ducking shitting sugar." He gaped as Tony moved out of the hologram and then back under, giving Clint time to see both him with and then without the beard,

"The hell did you just say?"

"Dude, you have like the perfect disguise. Like you look completely different! I actually thought I'd injured some young twenty-year-old and I felt so bad."

"Hey, you still injured me!" But Clint just waved him off as he got right in Tony's face to examine him more,

"This is incredible. Like seriously, I don't have a beard and I still look -not exactly my age because I am one fine forty-year-old, but you know what I mean." Then he backed away and blushed, "Shit, you heard me say you had a brilliant ass." Tony grinned,

"Damn right I did." He smacked his bottom and smirked at the embarrassed archer, "And it is a truly magnificent one, isn't it?"

"Fuck you, man." He mumbled as he hastily left the room, ignoring Tony's roars of laughter all while muttering curse words to himself.

3: Bruce/Hulk

Slumped over an experiment, Bruce yawned. He was so tired. He shouldn't be doing this experiment because he could easily fall asleep and have to redo it. Thing is, he couldn't. He was too tense and on edge that sleep would not come easily, plus he didn't particularly want to sleep. So he locked himself down in the lab to keep away from everyone. Of course, a locked door means nothing to Tony Stark, who came strolling in with a large grin. Bruce being tired didn't hear the man enter until a face was directly in front of his.

"Jesus, Tony." He growled as he jumped slightly before leaning back to stare at the man,

"You're a bit green around the edges, Brucie." Tony grinned, but obvious concern and worry was etched on his face,

"Who are you?" Bruce startled taking in the appearance of the apparent strange man, his face turning more green,

"Ok, Bruce. You need to calm down now." But it did nothing and soon enough a large green giant stood in front of Tony, "Hey Hulk. You alright?" Tony wasn't scared, he was more worried about the experiments and research within the room that could easily be destroyed, "It's me, Tony. You know that right?" He asked before murmuring more to himself than the giant, "Please, please, recognise me. This could end terribly if you're like the others."

"Tinman? Tinman not."

"Yep. It's Tinman out of the suit, buddy." A large hand came down and Tony smiled softly as a big finger gently ruffled his hair,

"Tony."

"That's my name, Big Guy. Wanna tell me what's got Brucie all stressed?"

"Sleep."

"Sleep?"

"Nightmares."

"I see. They suck. So considering you know this, does that mean you're usually…there when it's Bruce?"

"Yes. I see what Banner sees."

"Interesting. Is he there now?"

"No."

"Oh? Only one-way then, I guess."

"He needs to listen to Hulk. He needs to…"

"Bond?" The large beast grunted in agreement, "I do agree, Bruce needs to accept you. I bet it'll make things easier for him and you." Another grunt. "Is that all, bud?"

"Guns."

"Eh?" The Hulk, who by this point was sitting down and his head was level with Tony's now, pointed at the computer screen that showed Bruce's emails. Privacy was something Tony did actually respect much to everyone's surprise -which was ridiculous because of course, he'd respect privacy as he knew how horrible it was to not have any- so he was a bit hesitant to read through whatever the Hulk wanted him to. But a gentle nudge at his back sent him stumbling forward a bit and he decided with a sigh to do as Bruce's Hyde wanted him to do. "Ok…really Bruce has signed up to that? Not the point…" He murmured as he scrolled through the doctor's emails,

"Stop."

"Okie dokie." Tony chirped as he clicked on the email and skimmed over it. His grip on the mouse tightened. "That bastard." He growled and turned to the giant behind him,

"Don't you worry, Big Guy, I'll deal with Ross." His eyes softened as the Hulk gave Tony a wide and happy grin, but they quickly widened when the giant pulled him forward and into a hug,

"Tony good. Thank you, Tony."

"You know I love you, Big Guy." After pulling away, he watched as the Hulk's eyes focused in on his face…

"Beard gone?"

"Yeah, decided to have a shave. You like?"

"It's good. Young."

"So I've been told."

"Cut?"

"Cut? Oh, you know Clint? The bow guy. He scared me and I got hurt." At the green and narrowed eyes, "No need to beat him up, Big Guy. I'm fine." The giant reciprocated Tony's large grin before he began to shrink and an exhausted Bruce appeared.

"Wha' 'appened?" The shy doctor asked through a yawn,

"You Hulked out."

"Oh my goodness, are you okay? He only really likes Tony. Did he hurt you? Who even are you though?"

"Bit hurt there, Brucie. Would've thought you'd recognise your science-bro." Inwardly, Tony took extreme glee in watching Bruce's eyes widen in realisation,

"But…what…you…"

"It's called shaving. If it makes you feel better, Natasha kidnapped and interrogated me this morning and Clint scared me, made me injure myself, then continued to talk about my arse not realising it was me as he apologised."

"…all of that happened when?"

"Hmm…this morning."

"Damn."

"I know right! All I wanted this morning was a coffee and I got attacked! Anyway…" Tony became serious, "Now why exactly did you not inform me about Ross? Because I had to learn from your normally inarticulate other half." Bruce looked a bit ashamed as he pulled on a pair of jeans that were in the lab (always best to be prepared).

"I didn't want to bother you. It doesn't matter anyway, Tony. It's just Ross being an ass."

"It isn't nothing if it's been giving you nightmares. Come on. Go sleep. I'll be dealing with Ross." He smirked maliciously as he pushed Bruce upstairs. Mentally, he added Ross to his list of things to do before going about the rest of his day. It was only lunchtime.

4: Thor

As Tony made his way back into the tower after he'd gone out to grab some fresh air (and that was most definitely not an excuse for him to go get shawarma…) he was mildly surprised to see Thor talking to a group of high schoolers. Then he remembered there was some tour thingamajig going on -yeah, Tony should probably listen to Pepper more, especially as he had to make an appearance in this tour.

"Ah, you are over here, young sir." He heard Thor shout and he looked to find the god grinning at him,

"Wait, me?"

"Yes, you!" Thor bellowed and came over to pat Tony on the back and lead him over to where Clint had now appeared and begun to talk to the group. He met Clint's gaze and raised an eyebrow. The archer waggled his eyebrows and winked. Within those few seconds, the pair had decided that Tony would pretend to be a student…(this was absolutely, most definitely not because he had paperwork to sign and didn't want to do it).

—LINE BREAK—

"Now we must wait for Son of Stark to make an appearance!" Thor exclaimed as they returned to the lobby about an hour and a half later as the tour had finished.

"Well, Thor buddy, he's here," Clint told the man and almost immediately the entire group (Thor included) began to look around for the man, who just stood with his arms crossed and a grin on his face.

"I do not see him, Eye of Hawk." Thor grumbled,

"Well, that hurts my little blue arc reactor. I'm right here Point Break." Tony stated stepping forward with a mock hurt look as he clutched his chest as though his heart was aching,

"Very amusing my friends!" Thor bellowed with a chuckle, "But you are most certainly not Tony Stark, though you speak like him."

"Thor, buddy, that is Tony. I know looks weird, don't he."

"He can surely not be Anthony." Thor murmured eyeing Tony as he stepped forward, "He is far too young! Humorous joke, but now Son of Stark needs to be getting down to talk with these students."

"Okay, that's the third -does the Hulk count as a person?- person to tell me I look young without a beard and it's getting old now people! Yes, my name is Anthony Edward Stark. I decided to have a shave because why the ever loving fu- hell not." Tony turned on his heel and began to tell the teenagers what he was supposed to and then they were gone. Thor, Tony and Clint took an awkward and long ride up in the elevator to the common floor. Thor continued to stare at Tony, not quite believing he was who he said he was.

"My brother played this trick often. I do not mean to be impolite, I just merely am unsure if you speak the truth."

"Fair does, Point Break. But, take into consideration that JARVIS wouldn't let just anybody come up here." As if to prove the point the AI spoke,

"That is very true, sir. Mr Odinson, had the man beside you not been Mr Stark, I would have had security send him out immediately."

"I see. Alright, but it is truly remarkable just how different you look without your unusual beard. In a good way, of course, my friend, you are a very handsome man."

"Aw thanks, Thor." Tony grinned,

"Rather adorable too, wouldn't ya say, Thor?"

"Most definitely." Whilst Clint had been saying it as a joke, Thor spoke honestly and seriously causing Tony's cheeks to hastily redden as he made a swift exit out of the elevator and ran up to his floor via the stairs (he was very out of breath once he reached the top).

5: Steve

The day had been long and rather eventful. Four of his teammates and friends hadn't recognised him without his beard -only the Hulk had recognised him. Now there was Steve. By this point, Tony was resigned to the fact that the Super Soldier wouldn't recognise him.

He was right.

Walking into the common floor kitchen where the team had taken to having their breakfast and dinner together (they could do whatever for lunch), he found Steve slaving away as usual, making the group their evening meal while the others were gathered around the dining table that they'd taken to using too (honestly, Tony couldn't remember the last time he'd had dinner at a table like a rowdy and annoying yet lovable family…it was probably the graduation party he'd had with Rhodey's family). Taking his usual seat in between Thor and Bruce, Clint sat opposite him with Natasha to his left and Steve to his right opposite Thor. Food was set out in front of them as usual and finally, Steve entered with the plates.

"All right, everyone dig in." The blond said with a smile as he took a seat, "Haven't seen you today, Tony, how's everything been?" The man asked not looking up as he placed some salad on his plate,

"It's certainly been…interesting." Steve looked up with a raised eyebrow before his eyes widened (it seemed to be the most common reaction today),

"Oh my. I am so sorry. I thought you were Tony. Hi. I'm Steve Rogers." He held his hand out across the table and Tony shook it (because why not). "I feel so rude now." He turned to the others, who were struggling to hold their laughter in (Natasha, of course, was brilliant at keeping a straight face). "Why did no one tell me we had a guest?" The others just shrugged, knowing if they spoke, they'd laugh and wouldn't stop. Steve turned back to Tony, "Excuse me, but who are you? Natasha's partner perhaps?" No one could hold back on there chuckles and Tony grinned,

"Ah, I'm Antonio Carbonell. I must say despite being someone different, you were rather close with the name." Tony said ignoring the curious looks from the others. So what if the billionaire wanted to drag the situation out and play a little, considering everything that had happened to him today, he was allowed to mess with someone! "And no I am not Natasha's partner." There was a small pause and the others braced themselves for whatever Tony was about to say, "I'm with Clint." Said man had been taking a drink and began to choke, "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

"Perfectly fine, love." Clint coughed out sending a small glare Tony's way despite him going along with it. Steve still looked shocked.

"Oh." The blond murmured looking between the pair, "Oh. I never realised, Clint, that you were…"

"Gay? Not exactly, Cap." The man interrupted,

"Well, yes, but I was going to say…well into younger men."

"To be honest, Mr Rogers, I believe Clint is merely attracted to my bottom." Surprisingly Steve laughed alongside the others (save for Clint who had gone back to glaring),

"Please, call me Steve." He murmured before continuing with a grin, "There may be some competition between you and Tony then -according to Clint, Tony's bottom is fantastic as well!"

"Oh, is it really?" Tony asked leaning forward with a gleam in his eyes,

"Oh, you should hear the rants and raves Clint releases about Tony. It's rather amusing." Steve suddenly reddened a bit, "I am so sorry, you probably don't want to know about another man."

"Don't worry, it's truly interesting to hear. I assume Mr Stark is too out of Clint's reach then?" Tony joked,

"Probably. Besides I don't think Tony is a homosexual." The billionaire decided to put an end to his charade because on one hand it was a bit boring now and on the other Clint looked ready to murder him,

"Actually, Tony classifies as a bisexual."

"Do you really?" Bruce asked in surprise, Steve looked confused (again).

"Oh, by the way, Steve, my name is Tony Stark. I was just joking with you."

"What?"

"Dude, did you really think Clint could get someone this sexy?"

"Oi!"

"But anyway, my beard has been shaved. Yes I know I look incredible and young. No need to continue to tell me. I've heard it like five times today and it's old news now."

"How?"

"…I don't know. Even Natasha thought I was a stranger." Tony shrugged before digging into his lasagna and salad.

+1: Winter Soldier

Perched on the building opposite Avengers Tower, his eyes level with the floor and room that hosted his target. He aimed his sniper rifle. The red dot sat directly in the centre of the target's head. He went to pull the trigger. His finger touched the trigger. Before he could pull on it, the target turned so he was facing the window as he spoke. This was not his target. His target had facial hair. This man did not. Lowering his gun and placing the safety on. He continued to stare with an unknown emotion. His gaze met his target-not-target's eyes. The man raised an eyebrow at him and the gun. The Soldier just met his look with a blank stare. The almost victim just smirked. The Soldier frowned. His target-not-target turned back to the group of businessmen and women he had been talking to during their little…stare off. The Soldier went back to looking for his target -the correct one this time. Minutes passed quickly and soon he found himself watching the man he'd almost killed, walking out of the tall tower and making his way across the road.

"So you were going to kill me earlier…but you didn't. Not many would stop themselves from killing me, let me tell you that." Came a voice moments later and the Soldier turned. He knew the man had been there. He knew he should kill the man for just seeing him. Yet for some reason, he found that he couldn't bring himself to killing this young-looking and…adorable man. "So…who are you?" The man asked as he leaned against the wall beside the Soldier's gun, "Woah! Is that a metal arm?" He suddenly asked leaning forward to take in the arm, "Dude, this is awesome. Come with me!" The bubbly brunette gave the Soldier no chance to do or say anything as the man grabbed hold of the long-haired assassins metal hand and began to pull him to the staircase. The Soldier allowed the small man to lead him into the Avengers Tower and up the elevator. "Guys?" He shouted as they exited on a floor, "I've brought home a stray and I would like to keep him!"

—LINE BREAK—

The pair entered a room with five others. Three of which stood to attention immediately. One drawing a circular shield, the other man grasping a bow and attaching an arrow to it out of nowhere and the only female, grasping two guns and pointing. Seconds later a bespectacled, shy looking man moved out of the way, a bit behind the group whilst the fifth joined the armed trio and held a hammer defensively.

"Tony. Back away. Now." The redhead said as Clint reached out a hand for Tony to grab hold of. Said man tilted his head in confusion at their responses and surprisingly the tall man with a metal arm wrapped his flesh one around Tony's shoulders, keeping him where he was as he growled at Tony's teammates.

"What am I missing here?"

"That is the Winter Soldier. He's HYDRA."

"Wait! HYDRA wants me dead? Why now?"

"What?"

"Oh, yeah, this guy almost pulled the trigger and blasted my head to kingdom come. But for some reason he didn't."

"You are not the target."

"Who is the target?"

"Anthony Edward Stark. Alias Iron Man." Tony's eyes widened at the response,

"Ah…"

"Bucky?" A mere whisper echoed throughout the room and Tony looked at Steve,

"Bucky Barnes? As in Steve Rogers best friend who died and fell off a train?" Tony asked with wide eyes.

"The Asset is only an asset."

"JARVIS…" Tony's voice was quiet and hesitant, "Code two-zero-one-zero: K-O-P-3." He looked at one of his AI's cameras and gestured with his eyes that he meant it for 'Bucky'.

"Certainly, Sir." A silent whoosh happened and Tony felt the arm around him tighten before falling limp as 'Bucky' or the 'Asset' (whatever the man's name was) began to slump forward as the sedative began to take effect. The metal-armed man fell unconscious and landed on top of Tony, who was now being squished. The billionaire hastily asked for some help and Thor lifted the small man up and held him beneath the armpits like one would a kitten. The two stared at each other.

"Thanks, Thor…you can put me down now."

"You are very adorable, my friend. I find myself not wanting to." Despite that, the God gently placed Tony back on his feet as Steve dragged the unconscious assassin off to the Hulk's unbreakable room and the two spies finished informing Fury of the situation.

—LINE BREAK—

A bit later, the Avengers sat around together, waiting to hear something from the Director of SHIELD about The Winter Soldier. Steve was the most impatient.

"Hey, Tony."

"Yes, Cap?"

"What did that code stand for?" Steve asked and the others turned towards the dark-haired man, clearly curious about the answer. Tony looked down at his hands that sat in his lap,

"The code stands for 2010 Knockout Pain-free."

"Why do you have it?" Clint asked from where he was sitting on top of the refrigerator, swinging his legs like a child as though he wasn't sitting in the most peculiar spot,

"Back in 2010, I was dying. Didn't think I'd survive, so I…stopped giving a damn. Then on what was supposed to be my last birthday, I lost control I guess. Anyway, the code is something JARVIS can use should a situation arise -or it can be used manually." The others just nodded solemnly before all became lost in their thoughts.

—LINE BREAK—

Looking back on everything, whilst that day and a half had been chaotic and annoying, what with people not recognising him. Tony could not be any happier that the Winter Soldier (who had been helped and now was a member of the Avengers as they had removed all of the HYDRA trigger/command words and such, thought Winter -as he'd been dubbed- still made an appearance in times of need like out on the field during a mission or just because he often liked to watch Tony work in a totally creepy way) had thought he was someone else. After all, had Tony not shaved the day before…he'd be dead.

Anyway,
Thank you for reading,
Hope you enjoyed this,
Please review,
No hate -don't like, don't read

Bye~