Author's note: This was a request on my tumblr, and though it's a little different from my normal fics (more depressing anyway) I thought I'd give it a go, so here it is! I hope you enjoy it — but please proceed with caution if this is a triggering topic for you!
Until the next fic!
-LizzySong
She was sick of hospitals. Sick of the poking and prodding she was constantly subjected to, and sick of the way everyone looked at her with pity in their eyes — except for Bruce, he always looked guilty when he saw her, and that was worse.
She didn't blame him for her injury; Jeremiah was insane, it wasn't his fault. She had been angry that he broken his promise to stay with her, of course, but that anger had left as soon as he came to see her, when he cried, and apologized profusely.
...But he stilled looked guilty every time he saw her.
It had been five months. Five months of being in and out of the hospital, three months of hearing Bruce yelling at or pleading with doctors, five months of having to rely on others and not being able to take care of herself, and she hated every moment of it. She wasn't herself — couldn't be herself — not anymore, not now that she was confined to a bed or wheelchair at all times, unable to protect herself and relying on Bruce to help her when he wasn't running across roof tops, like she should have been.
She was lying in a hospital bed again, having just endured another surgery that she doubted would help her regain the ability to walk. Selina had lost all hope of getting her life back, and she wouldn't bother with the hospital stays and surgeries if it weren't for Bruce begging her to. She has given up, but he hadn't, which somehow only hurt more.
She looked down at the IV in her arm and then at the small table next to her bed with bottles of medication and syringes on it. ...It would be so easy, she thought as she picked up one of syringes. She didn't know what was in it, but that wasn't an issue for what she was going to use it for — it probably wouldn't even hurt; just make her go to sleep and then...
No. She couldn't do that to Bruce. It would be too much for him. He would blame himself. ...But she just wanted the pain to stop. It wasn't the physical pain that was the problem, but the pain of knowing that she could never get her life back. This wasn't a life; she wasn't living, she was just surviving... barely.
She struggled to uncap the needle, feeling tears spring to her eyes. She just wanted this to be over. If she couldn't live a real life, then what was the point? Even though she had Bruce... she wasn't sure that was enough.
She stared at the needle for a moment before pressing it into her arm, breaking the skin. She held it there for a minute, hesitating to plunge whatever was in the syringe into her blood stream. She finally made up her mind to do it and get it over with, but stopped and looked up at the doorway when she heard a quiet, "Selina?"
It was Bruce. He really did have a hero's timing, she thought as she met his eyes.
It only took him a moment to understand what he was witnessing, and when realization lit up in his eyes he practically ran to Selina's side.
"Selina..."
"Bruce, I—" she sighed shakily and Bruce silently extended his palm to her. She hesitated for a moment longer before sighing and taking the needle out of her arm and handing it to him. He put it into the waste basket at the side of the bed and then looked at her.
"...Why?" was all he said, the word coming out in a choked whisper. It wasn't accusatory, or a whisper of someone who felt betrayed, it was just sad.
The tears that had welled up in her eyes early now began to spill down her cheeks as she looked up at the young man. "...I just... I can't live like this anymore, Bruce," she said and then broke down into sobs.
He carefully wrapped his arms around her while she buried her face in his chest. Bruce felt tears come to his own eyes as he held the young woman he loved close, but resisted the urge to break down himself, instead allowing the hot tears to silently roll down his cheeks.
They stayed like that for a long while before Selina became to tired to continue crying, the sobs becoming shuddering breaths and quiet whimpers until she was just quiet, not moving from her position of comfort against Bruce.
"I'm sorry, Selina..." Bruce said, his voice thick with tears.
"Stop apologizing to me. I hate when you apologize," she sounded exhausted rather than annoyed, "It's not your fault that I can't..." she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence and instead continued forward, "...but I can't live like this, Bruce."
"I know; and I'm going to fix this. Somehow. I promise. But you need to hang on until I do."
"You can't fix this, Bruce. All the doctors have said so; you know that. And you know this isn't a life for me, you know I can't hang on forever for you or anybody else to fix me. I can't be fixed. ...You have to let me go. I need you to let me go."
"I can't."
"You have to, Bruce. For me. Please..." her voice broke and she finally moved her face to look up at him, "This isn't a life for me. For anybody. You know that."
"I know, but I believe we can find a cure. I just need you to give me time, Selina. Please. Just... just give me time."
He was pleading with her now, the same way she'd heard him plea with doctors, and it broke her heart. But he was naïve if he truly believed that she could be fixed. ...Or maybe he was just desperate. Either way, she realized she couldn't take that away from him the way she had been about to when he'd showed up to save her... again.
"...Okay," she said finally, "I'll wait."
He let out a sigh of relief and hugged her as tightly as he dared to, burying his face in her unruly hair. "Thank you," he whispered.
"Just... promise me you're gonna fix this. I can't... can't stay like this for the rest of my life, Bruce."
"I promise. You'll be alright; I'll find a way. I just need you to wait a little longer."
The girl nodded slightly and finally returned the boy's hug. "...I'm sorry," she whispered and felt an ache in her chest as tears once again welled in her eyes.
"It's okay, Selina. Don't apologize. None of this is your fault." Tears began to roll down his cheeks again as he spoke, realizing that had he not come when he did, she would have gone through with it.
Selina let out a soft sigh as she finally relaxed a little in Bruce's arms. "...Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked and the boy nodded.
"Of course I will. I'll always be here when you need me, Selina." He kissed the top of her head gently, and she smiled in spite of herself. He did always manage to make her feel safe and loved. She just worried that that wouldn't be enough forever; but it was enough for now, and she began to doze off with her head on his shoulder and his arms wrapped around her. He was here for her now, and she knew that she wouldn't have to be alone again.