This is going to sound completely cliche, hell the whole thing came out of left field - actually it did come out of left field which was why I didn't see it, what with me being blind in my left eye - but, I Yojimbra, got hit by a truck. Now I know what you're thinking, oh no are you okay? When are you going to update that fem Madara story it's awesome and I wanna see sex?

The answer to those is simple. Yes, I'm fine, and no, I can't update that Madara story because I'm dead. Shocker how getting hit by a truck can kill you. Well, it wasn't so much the truck that killed me as the car that it hit me into did. And despite what all those other anime make it seem like dying sucks. A lot.

But what was I saying? Oh right, nerdy shut-in gets hit by a truck and ends up in another world. A major difference is that this is fanfiction and I know a lot about Naruto. Which means I'm probably going to die. This should be short!

XXXX

I didn't wake up; I went from sleeping to having a heart attack and skipped every single step in between so fast my head nearly grazed the ceiling. For a few moments while my heart ocellated between dead flirting with a hot girl I stood soaking in my surroundings. It was dark, and everything was kind of moist. Hadn't my head just been popped like a cherry tomato on the concrete?

My legs collapsed beneath me and I fell back down onto the bed and took in a great big breath of fresh - albeit stale air - lungs still worked so that was good, and I didn't really feel any pain. Which was weird because the last time I got hit by a car and bounced a few feet - I was a bouncy kid - My leg hurt like hell for like a month.

But oddly I felt really good, I didn't hurt, even the normal things that hurt didn't hurt. Must be the morphine or whatever drug was pumping through my veins. But I also didn't feel like there were any drugs in me, and where was my drip thingy? Or lights?

The room I was in was, cold, dark, mostly made out of stone and other stuff, was this the morgue? Or maybe the mortuary? Was I a zombie? No that wasn't it, the idea of eating a brain still wasn't appealing to me. And I had a heartbeat. And Morals, flexible though they might be.

"Where the fuck am I?"

I blinked and shot out of the bed most uncomfortable bed I've ever been in once more. That wasn't my voice. My voice was… well it was my voice, you know, kind of manly, but also not rugged at all and sounded like if I didn't say something sarcastic in the next two seconds it would physically hurt, which wasn't really the case, I didn't do sarcasm, my sense of humor was just so dry it could catch fire in the middle of the Mariana Trench. I certainly didn't sound like a girl with the cute borderline sexy raspy voice that grated along my spine like a good massage.

One hand went my head, where it found that my face was far less hairy that I normally kept it - normally out of laziness - but it was also thinner - again, lazy - and my hair was far longer than it normally was - you guessed it lazy. But it was my other hand that found something that was more than a little shocking. Boob. It found boob. I'm not one to complain about grouping boob, but there's something to be said about reaching over and finding out that I'm not a uh, let's see if a Double D felt like that then this must be a B-cup? C if I'm lucky? I'm a guy, and just because I loved boobs did not mean I had a degree in boobology.

Needless to say, what I did next did not surprise me in the least. I found my other boob and bounced them. Yep. They were boobs, attached to me, and I was also a lot skinnier than I remember. I really didn't need to check to see if I still had a penis.

I was very much aware that I was now dickless.

Okay, so let's go down the checklist, I'm not dead despite vivid memories of a tire rolling over my face, I'm not in a hospital, and apparently, I'm not a skinny girl with decent boobs. The cold concrete met my bare feet sending a shiver through my body, I stood a lot less tall than I normally did. And I was short for some reason that fact made me a lot angrier than any of the other changes.

"Okay," I tested my new voice out, it was a little rough kind of like a tomboy's voice would be, but still noticeably feminine. Which considering how I used to be a guy and am now a girl in this - wait I should punch my self to make sure it's not a dream. Ouch, yep pinched nipples still fucking hurt - world. Walking was easy and I felt a lot lighter than before.

I might have jumped a few more times than necessary just feeling my new body. Being in shape felt a hell of a lot better than being out of shape. I could touch my toes, grab my foot and put it behind my head while standing, and a push up while doing a handstand. I hadn't been this in shape in ever.

Awesome. So I didn't die and instead got delivered into some super secret government super soldier facility where the major side effect is being turned into a cute girl. Wait, was I even cute? I sounded cute, and had a nice body - look I know it's perverted but really would you do anything different? Besides freaking out? - so I was probably cute.

Wait what if I was a redhead? That would be amazing! Hopefully, I'm a redhead.

I needed light and a mirror. Let's see, oh hey, there was a bare lightbulb in the middle of my room with a chain switch dangling nearby. There was a buzz before the light flickered on, and the first thing I did was grab a strand of my hair and squeal in delight when I realized it was a nice ever so slightly unnatural color of red that was just perfect. Hopefully, it wasn't dyed!

My room, or at least what I thought was my room was plain. Just a bed, a couple of lockers, a desk, and a trunk. My clothes were plain, pretty much a dirtier version of a hospital gown, but also softer, like pajamas. Let's see, if I was a mirror where would I be?

Both lockers held nothing but the same brown shirt thing, some shorts, a bunch of sharp looking stuff that kind of looked like Kunai. Then there was also a weird beanie thing with stuff on it, and a bunch of sandals. And way more bandage tape than I'd ever need. Inside the locker was more weapons and like five flutes that shined in the dim light, tried to use them as a mirror didn't work. Then at long lost at the bottom I found a small make-up kit that had a mirror.

I was hot! And young. My face was smooth, free of blemishes. My hair was all kinds of wild and my eyes were still brown and I had a resting bitch face that was terminal - that part's actually normal - but I couldn't help but feel like I've seen this face before.

"Tayuya what are you doing?"

I snapped my head, to see a man with white hair looking at me as he stood in my doorway. It took everything I had not to scream out as the realization slowly built itself up in my mind, it wasn't really the realization that was making me freak out, that just seemed par for the course with being hit by a truck. No, I wanted to scream because Sakkon, looked weird as hell, not as a cartoon.

"What?" He asked touching his face, "Do I have something on my face?"

Well if I'm Tayuya I might as well act the part, good thing my spirit animal is a high school bitch. "No, I just forgot how fucking ugly you are."

His smile faded, And before I knew it his foot came in contact with my face. I heard my neck pop, then crack, and a lot of pain ripped through my head when I crashed against the sharp edge of the box. Apparently, the whole ninja thing actually took a bit of skill that I clearly didn't have because I could only lay there, for a few seconds realizing that I was dead. Again.

Fantastic.