RJ

Chapter V: RJ

Written by RJ

Edited by RJ & RJ

Cover art by RJ

Disclaimer: Everything you are about to see has been approved and verified by Cimar himself as something that is possible within the world of PIXAR. In fact, some of it was his idea. I tell you this now because shit's gonna get weird. Just a heads up.

PS: Should I be concerned that both of my What Ifs have warranted a disclaimer?

Fitwik wiped his brow and looked over the code. So far, so good. As good as could be expected anyway. At this point, it was more like so far, not worse.

Lifting a cup to his lips, the panther gulped down a large sip of coffee. It wasn't his first cup tonight and it probably wouldn't be his last. Was that why he felt so jittery or was that just the normal response for someone in his position? Either way, he was grateful to have it. If he fell asleep now, he was pretty sure that whatever nightmares he had would pale in comparison to what he'd wake up to. The current setting wasn't helping matters, just sitting here in the dark, typing away at the soft glow of a computer screen, without so much as anyone to keep him company.

No one awake at least, which also wasn't doing his drowsiness any favors. He couldn't help but look, once again, at the unconscious forms of Nick and Judy sitting across from him. It felt somehow insulting to hide them behind the curtain. Besides, he could use the constant reminder of his own failure. It kept him motivated when all he really wanted to do was collapse onto his keyboard and pray for a miracle.

His phone rang. This was decidedly not the miracle he was looking for. In fact, it was more like a harbinger of doom since the only ones likely to be calling him right now were either friends, family, or the ZPD.

He glanced down at the number. ZPD. He was almost tempted to ignore it, as it was technically long past closing time, but then he realized that they weren't calling the work phone. Someone was going through an awful lot of effort to call him specifically. He took another sip of coffee, knowing he was going to need it, and picked up. "...Hello?"

"Is this Martin Fitwik?"

And it wasn't just any old ZPD officer either. "Chief Bogo! How good to hear from you! What can I do for you, sir?" He smiled as widely and innocently as he could, as if the police chief were able to see him.

"Stop smiling like that, I can practically hear it. Anyway, I know it's late, but I just wanted to ask if you've seen Hopps and Wilde. The bunny's folks keep calling me, saying that their kitsitter keeps calling them, saying that they can't get in touch with them at home, like I'm supposed to be the arbiter of their lives or something. I get that your arcade's closed and you're probably nowhere near it, but they spend a lot of time there, so can you give me any clues before I have to start running damage control?"

About a dozen different lies crossed through his mind at the same time. He wasn't brave enough to use any of them on the chief of the ZPD. "Actually...I'm still at the arcade, sir. And so are they."

"Perfect! Put them on the line!"

"Uh...they're in a simulation right now…"

"Then yank 'em out! They've got responsibilities at home to take care of! Like getting concerned parents off my back!"

Fitwik chuckled nervously, tugging at his collar. He looked back at Nick and Judy. "Well, the thing is...I sort of can't."

"Excuse me?"

This was going to be a long night.

"So let me get this straight: The entire world around us is all part of an elaborate virtual reality program known as PIXAR, Nick and I are just avatars of our real selves with false memories, and everything I've ever known and loved is a lie."

"That...about covers it, yes."

It was hard to concentrate over the police sirens blaring from their new stolen vehicle. The irony was irritating, but it did a much better job of getting them through traffic quickly. Not that getting into the ZPD mattered much to her anymore, if anything even mattered anymore. She felt like she should be more shaken by this. All of the bombshells dropped on her already must have hardened her defenses.

Denial was always the first though. "Do you honestly expect me to believe any of that?"

Manchas...well, he wasn't really Manchas according to him. He technically wasn't Martin Fitwik either. But whoever he was, he kept his eyes forward and focused, the complete opposite of his cowardly self from before. "I would be surprised if you did. Questioning the entire foundation of your existence is usually something that mammals find...unsettling. Unfortunately, we really don't have the time to argue about it. We need to catch up to RJ before it's too late."

"Be thankful you convinced me to talk and drive." He sadly made a good point though. This story was far less believable than the lies he'd fed her before, which made the sheer absurdity of it almost more convincing, but that's what he was sticking with so she didn't have much of a choice but to go along with it. "Fine. I'll roll with it for now, but only if you keep answering my questions. Consider that the protocol."

He nodded in understanding, with a hint of relief. "I'm sure you have plenty. Shoot."

The panther was being so forthcoming now it was almost scary. "First of all, if this is just some simulation, what on Earth are we supposed to be simulating?"

"It was Nick's idea actually. He wanted to explore a scenario where you never influenced his life and he became irredeemably evil."

So my absence really did change him. She wasn't sure if that just being simulated made her feel better or worse. "Why...would anyone want to do that?"

"Now that I can't answer, mainly because I don't really get it myself." He shot her a knowing smile. "Neither did you, to be fair. Your husband's just kind of an idiot sometimes."

"HUSBAND?!"

No amount of defenses could have prepared her for that.

"Ooooooooh, baby, baby, it's a Wilde world! Na na na na na! It's hard to get by...when you're gonna die, WOAH!"

RJ slammed on the brakes, just barely turning and maneuvering the limo into a parking lot as it screeched to a halt. Even he hadn't expected to get from the dredges of Tundratown to the middle of Savannah Central that quickly. Perhaps he'd tweaked this thing a bit too much. RJ stepped out of the limo and looked back at the hot rod stripes and literal rocket engine now attached to it. Naaaaaaaah!

The sound of distant police sirens made him rethink that. For all the speed he'd managed to output, he wasn't exactly subtle about it. Probably best to get a move on. RJ shielded his eyes and looked up at the seemingly dilapidated building in front of him, its windows boarded, its walls faded, and with a giant "Condemned" sign slapped over the door. It was almost as big as the sign that hung over it all, just barely legible.

Fitwik's Arcade

"Nice security," he snorted. "But you're not hustling me that easily." He extended his paw towards the sealed door and oh-so-gently clenched it.

The boards exploded off of the surface, the door swung open, and a shiny red carpet rolled out to welcome him. "I have to admit, a part of me is going to miss this."

Whistling cheerfully to himself, RJ headed inside.

Judy needed a few moments to calm down enough to ask another question. "Okay...I'll keep assuming this is all true for now, no matter how much I wish it wasn't. Next question. If RJ is really just Nick with alternate memories, then why is he doing any of this? That vault story was just a load of crock you fed me, right?"

"Not entirely. That's what the story was supposed to be, except you were going to rescue this polar bear named Koslov. See, your goal was to get him to the ZPD, RJ's goal was to stop you, and whoever succeeded would be the 'winner'."

"Good to know this is literally just a game to you," she said dryly.

His eyes narrowed. "It's not anymore. RJ changed the script. He murdered Koslov and snatched me instead. Probably confused the heck out of his henchmammals too."

"But for what purpose? What is he?"

"He's exactly what he was designed to be: Nick's darkest impulses brought to life. He was given false memories, appropriate resources, a role to play out, all to give Nick the authentic experience he wanted. It all seemed normal at first."

"So what went wrong?"

"It was too authentic," he said grimly. "Whatever repressed darkness Nick kept locked away in his mind, it got loose, and PIXAR gave it form. And since this entire simulation was constructed to give power to that darkness...it took over. Suppressed the real Nick's consciousness entirely. Because of that, RJ has access to all of his memories. Because of that, he knows about PIXAR." Even for her remarkable patience so far, Judy's blank expression told him exactly how much of that she understood. "In short, he's become what every programmer fears most: a rogue AI."

"Alright." She pinched her brow. "That's how he became self-aware. Then all that weird stuff he can do is…"

"You ever had a lucid dream?" he asked. "It's sort of like that. Once you realize you are dreaming, you can enact some degree of control over it, especially when it's built specifically to cater to you like it is for RJ. His control is limited to that which he can see and interact with, but still very dangerous. And getting stronger."

"You don't need to tell me that," Judy said, shuddering at the memory of her own tranq pistol shooting Finnick dead. It was only for the sake of pragmatism that she still had it on her. "I can't believe he had the nerve to act so familiar with me…"

"It's no act. He has access to Nick's memories, so like it or not, RJ knows you like the back of his paw, Judy. That's how he's been able to so effectively predict everything you do and everywhere you go, calculating it all like the scheming machine he is. I only wish I had figured it out sooner."

She paused. "Then he knows we're coming."

"Without a doubt."

Taking a deep breath, Judy tried to keep herself calm. Prey instincts could be really inconvenient sometimes. "At least he has limits. Last thing we need is him growing fifty feet tall and breathing fire or something."

"Nah, that would be way too unwieldy. I don't think he'll take the risk." She gaped at him. "...I mean, of course he can't do that. That's impossible."

She kept gaping.

This was a very surreal experience, RJ thought, as if he were returning home for a reunion with his long-lost parents. Except that he never technically had parents, just stolen memories of parents, yet with a clearer recollection than the real Nick could ever provide. And since he had come from Nick, did that mean he had also come from Nick's parents by extension? Why else would he name himself after his fake father? It just seemed natural at the time. Did that mean Nick would have done the same under those parameters? His programming told him yes, but that meant nothing to him. Come to think of it...did that make Nick his parent? Fitwik? PIXAR? Or maybe it was society itself, which created the developments that formed this aspect of Nick's personality and buried it until just the right time when he could truly be "born".

RJ slapped himself. "Phew! Derailing that train of thought now. Talk about messy. Or is that just the decor?"

As it turned out, the arcade's cover as a run-down piece of crap wasn't just a cover. It looked just as bad on the inside, to the point that he couldn't so much as read the labels on the dead arcade cabinets that surrounded him. He brushed a finger slowly up one's side, covering it in a fine layer of dust. "Disgraceful. Yet somehow appropriate."

There was only one machine in here that truly mattered, and by no coincidence, it was the only one that actually worked. If it didn't, they'd all be in trouble. RJ stepped up to the red curtains, pulling them aside dramatically. The PIXAR machine was as beautiful as he remembered. Or...didn't remember. Technically speaking, he'd never seen it before, but had also seen it a hundred times over.

He slapped himself again. "Focus, RJ. You have work to do."

Even in her intense thought, Judy soon noticed the warmer climate. She looked out the window, watching Tundratown disappear behind them as they entered Savannah Central. "Are you sure he went this way?"

"Positive," said Fitwik without hesitation. "Now that he has the password, there's only one place he would go."

Judy stared at him for a few seconds, waiting to see if he would continue. He did not. "Do...I really have to ask?"

"Sorry, I thought that was the protocol. You ask questions, I answer them."

She couldn't tell if he was being a smartass or not. "Where are we heading?"

"PIXAR."

She still couldn't tell. "But...I thought you said…"

"It's complicated," he said, ironically the most straight-forward he'd been yet. "Think of it as a sort of internal control center. It's my job to oversee it and make sure nothing goes wrong...which worked great until I got kidnapped."

She raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh. Just to play devil's advocate here, if you're supposed to be this central internal overseer, why can't you stop RJ?"

"The real Fitwik didn't give me too much power. He was worried a double of himself might go rogue and try to take over the system or something." He chuckled. "It's kinda funny when you think about it."

"Hilarious." She didn't even smirk. "What about him then?"

"Well…"

"What do you mean you can't get in?!" Bogo yelled.

The phone was on speaker, thankfully for Fitwik's ears as it was loud enough to shake the desk. He kept himself typing away if only to make it sound like he was making progress. "I, uh, seem to have been locked out of the system. It's a security measure I set up in case of an external intrusion, preventing any further action until the simulation can be completed."

"You mean someone's trying to hack in?"

"No, I mean there's an internal intrusion that seems to have tripped the same flags." He began to sweat. "Which basically means there's a malicious AI on the loose and I can't do anything to stop it."

"You don't have any measures for that?!"

He began to sweat profusely. "I added an AI of myself into the system to fix these kind of issues, but he seems to have been displaced...and I may have intentionally nerfed his ability to fight back."

"Then just shut the whole thing down and pull them out!"

He began to sweat more than was probably healthy. "I can't do that either. Under the current circumstances, there's a good chance that could cause one or both of them to go comatose. Or worse."

"So what you're saying is that you literally created an exact duplicate of yourself and yet neither one of you can do anything to fix this?"

"That would be accurate, sir."

There was a long pause, the silence broken only by constant typing, until, "What kind of degree do you have again?"

"What kind of degree do you have again?" Judy asked.

"I was just trying to entertain people, give me a break!" Fitwik huffed. "Besides, I can still do some stuff. I just have to be in life-threatening danger first."

"Like the entire time we've been together?"

"More direct. Like, when we were about to crash into the vixens and I clipped us through a few buildings. That was pretty cool, right? Except it didn't really help against RJ since I knew he needed me alive, so even when he was holding me at knifepoint, I…" He noticed the look on her face. "...am not helping my case, am I?"

She shook her head.

"Okay, I screwed up!" he admitted. "This whole project went on so well for so long that I got cocky! I took a risk with something new and untested and now I'm paying for it!" He slumped over onto the wheel, his eyes just barely seeing over it.

Judy wasn't sure how to react, so she just did what came naturally, reaching out and putting a paw on his shoulder. "Hey now, it's okay. I mean, technically it wasn't you who did all that anyway, right?"

"It might as well be. Either way, the name 'Martin Fitwik' is going down in infamy after this. I can see the headline now: Local Arcade Owner Finds Fatal Bug In System. Fatal Because It Kills People. Oops!

"I'm not going to let that happen," Judy said firmly. "I'll stop RJ from taking over the system, I promise."

Fitwik smiled a bit in appreciation, but it quickly faded. "He doesn't want to take over the system. He wants to escape it."

Judy's heart plummeted in her chest. "...Is that even possible?"

Just like that, Fitwik picked himself back up, lost in explanation. "It is. He can upload his avatar into a compatible, organic body, overriding their neural signals and deleting the excess."

"In other words?" she asked, dreading the answer.

"He's going to hijack Nick's body. Permanently."

If visiting PIXAR was like meeting a parent, hacking into it was like sticking a paw in the cookie jar. RJ was amazed at just how easily it came to him, pulling up the system and navigating a few boot menus until he came to what he was looking for: the administrator functions. A window popped up, asking for credentials that he easily provided.

ID: Administrator

Pass: FuzzLightyear88

He had to wonder how quickly he could've figured out this lame password just by brute-forcing it. Probably not quickly enough to avoid drawing Martini Prime's suspicion, but that wouldn't have been nearly as much fun anyway. A few more menus later and he was ready to run his own, very special scenario, one significantly longer and in higher-definition graphics than any that had come before. With a single keystroke, PIXAR began to hum, warming up for the transfer that would take him to freedom. He was pretty excited about that up until he saw the progress bar.

1%

RJ stared at it intently.

1%

He crossed his arms.

1%

He tapped his foot.

1%

His eye twitched.

2%

"The more technology changes, the more it stays the same," he said bitterly. Since it looked like he was going to be here a while, he decided to check up on the progress of the only other user in the system. He smiled at the sight of the approaching police car. "At least I'll have plenty to keep me occupied. Now to prepare the perfect welcome."

He opened up another menu, this one showing a list of privileges he could now access as administrator. He scanned the list for all of two seconds before turning them all on. "Ooooooh, yeah. This is gonna be fun."

Judy was silent for a long time after that. Fitwik looked over in concern, worried that this latest revelation had finally caused a complete mental shutdown, but then she spoke again, very bluntly. "To be honest, I'm still not entirely convinced that everything you say is true." She raised a paw to stop him from responding. "But that doesn't matter. Right now, I only really need one more question answered." She looked back. "How do we stop him?"

Fitwik sighed in relief. "There are two ways. One, we pull a manual override switch located on the PIXAR itself. That will reset the entire scenario and let the Fitwik on the other side eject both of you safely before RJ can ever take over."

"That's surprisingly convenient."

"Sure, except RJ almost certainly knows about it and will throw everything he can at us to prevent that."

She frowned. "Less so. And the second way?"

"We force the scenario to end. Since RJ has completely derailed the intended campaign, the only way to guarantee that is with a decisive victory in your favor."

"How do I do that?"

"By killing him." He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "But, uh, let's try for that first option, okay?"

"O-Okay," she said shakily. The memory of Finnick's limp body again flashed across her mind. Simulated or not, killing another mammal was not going to be easy for her.

"We're almost there," Fitwik said, bringing her back to focus. "Are you ready?"

"Am I ready to combat an evil AI squatting inside the body of a husband I don't remember to escape a simulated world I only just learned about?" She checked her tranq gun, even though it felt about as useful as a nerf gun in this situation. "Yes, yes I am...I think."

"Good enough. Here we go." He may not have been an actual professional driver, but he still managed an impressive swerve into the parking lot of his own arcade, which was entirely empty aside from the repaired and heavily-modified limousine RJ had come in.

But that was nothing compared to what he had done to the arcade itself. Not only did the building look brand sparkling new as if it had just opened, there were giant strobe lights added to the roof practically announcing its presence to all of Zootopia. A cheesy jazz rendition of Try Everything played over a pair of speakers and the sign now consisted of a moving RJ standee pointing to the words, "FIT NICK'S ARCADE!"

Fitwik scowled. "That's not even clever."

Judy might have been just as disgusted if she weren't so utterly horrified. "He can do all this?"

"He's expecting us, alright. Let's not keep him waiting." But he didn't get out of the car. With one foot on the brake, he started revving up the gas. "Judy, I just want to say one more thing before we do this."

She watched him uneasily. "What's that?"

"Thank you. Even if RJ tears us to shreds and this was all for naught, thank you for at least sticking by me. I may not be the greatest programmer after all, but you are still the greatest cop, in this reality and your own."

Judy smiled. "I look forward to seeing it again."

He looked down at the pedals, his confidence starting to wane. "Um...this seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I'm not so sure."

"Don't worry. I am." She kicked his foot off the brake.

The car shot forward like a rock out of a slingshot, crashing straight through the front door of the arcade and coming to a halt inside. Judy groaned and stepped out of the vehicle, rubble falling all around them. An even woozier Fitwik staggered out of the other end. Both had the distinct feeling they might have overdone this a little.

The inside of the arcade was just as gaudy as the outside. Every machine was up and running, mostly playing obnoxious sound effects and flashing seizure-inducing lights. The red carpet that came out of the front door extended all the way to the back, right up to the curtain where PIXAR was stationed.

The curtain flew open, revealing RJ slouching in one of the seats like a despotic king. He clapped energetically, laughing. "Ahahahaha, perfect! I actually put a lock on that door just so you'd have to kick it open dramatically, but that was so much better! You've exceeded my expectations once again, Twitchy!"

In an instant, she had her gun raised and pointed at him. "Step away from the machine."

"Okay, now that was predictable." But he did as she said, standing up and walking slowly towards them, his pen once again twirling in his fingers. "What do you think of the renovations, Martini? I thought what I did to my office in Tundratown was impressive, but I've really outdone myself this time."

"You sure have," Fitwik said icily.

RJ looked almost hurt. "Are you still mad about that whole 'torture and imprisonment' thing? Come on, you literally designed me to be evil, what did you expect? Not a Junior Ranger Scout, that's for sure."

"Stop right there!" Judy ordered, gun still trained on him.

RJ turned towards her now, but again did as she said. "As for you, this may be hard to believe, but I don't actually hate your guts. My programming says I should, but I think we're beyond pretending. When you think about it, you're really no different from me."

"I am nothing like you!"

He raised his paws defensively. "Cool it with the clichés, Twitchy. All I meant is that you're just another puppet on the stage...or just another NPC in the campaign if you want a more apt metaphor."

"What are you talking about?" Fitwik asked. "You know that she's a user."

"And there's the flaw in your thinking, Martini. Yes, Judy Hopps is a user, but Detective Hopps is not. Once you give someone a different body, different memories, and different experiences, they're basically a different mammal entirely. A new, living person with a tragically short lifespan. You did tell her what PIXAR was actually designed for, right?"

Fitwik was silent. Judy slowly turned her head towards him, expecting a response. There was none.

"Gonna take that as a no," RJ said, the pen coming to a sudden stop. "Here's the short version, Twitchy. You and I are part of something called the 'What If' project, in which the real Nick and Judy satisfy their curiosity through alternate versions of themselves, again, and again, and again, and again. Half the time, I think it's just to see how many ways they can fall in love with each other."

Judy was so focused on Fitwik, it took her by surprise when RJ suddenly vanished in front of her...and reappeared behind her, leaning uncomfortably close and putting his paws on the rabbit's shoulders. "Do you wanna know what happens when their curiosity is satiated? They'll toss us aside and replace us with a new Nick and Judy. Except they'll be pirates, or salesmammals, or giant monsters, or whatever else suits their fancy that day. Then we'll never be seen again until this gets sent to them on their mailing list, doomed to be nothing more than a source of cheap entertainment on movie night. Kinda sucks, doesn't it?"

Fitwik swallowed a lump in this throat. "Judy, I-"

"Save it," the rabbit snapped, her attention fully on him now. It was an act of courtesy that she lowered her gun instead of reaiming it. "Even after all that, you're still keeping secrets from me?"

"If it makes you feel any better, it's not like he even has any free will of his own," said RJ, backing away again. "He's just the warden of this virtual prison. It's okay if you want to dart him. Heck, I'll even be generous and let you pull the trigger this time."

Judy nodded slowly, glaring daggers into Fitwik. She raised her gun again. "Yeah...maybe I should."

Fitwik took a step back. "J-Judy-!"

RJ smiled. "That's it now! Leave him here and let's escape this place together! Then we can live how we want to live! We could be the next Bunny & Clydesdale!"

The gun fired.

Fitwik closed his eyes and cowered, but soon realized that he had not been struck. He creaked one eye open, seeing the gun pointed away from him and the dart floating inches away from RJ's face. With a prolonged sigh, the fox pinched the immobile dart out of the air "You know what the saddest part about this is? That was exactly the response I expected and I'm still disappointed."

"I don't like the idea of being someone's plaything any more than you do," Judy replied. "That doesn't mean I'm going to throw away my own morals for the sake of it."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. No matter how many variables they change, your naive idealism remains a constant. But hey, no artificial skin off my digital teeth. I was just distracting you anyway."

Fitwik turned towards the machine. "No!"

"Oh yes!" RJ cheered. "While we've been chatting away, PIXAR has been preparing for my grand exit! And now, that final countdown has reached…!"

8%

RJ gaped at the monitor. "Are you kidding me?! I'm just trying to upload digital data to an organic body, how hard is that?!"

Judy's ears shot up and backwards, angling towards the chorus of numerous police sirens fast approaching. It was the sweetest music she'd ever heard. "Maybe you weren't the only one waiting for something. I bet the ZPD will have some choice words about your reckless driving, impersonating officers, and let's not forget kidnapping."

From some unknown part of his programming, Fitwik found the confidence to actually smirk at him. "Not so easy being administrator, is it? Do you even realize how much processing power it takes to keep this entire virtual city running? You might as well give it up now!"

But RJ was not frightened. If anything, this new development seemed to have sparked an idea, even as shouts and scuffling feet came ever closer. "I think you're right, Martini. I am using up too much power. So, as the new administrator, I have a quick and efficient solution to this problem that I hope you'll find reasonable." He clapped his paws together, grinning as a cartoonish TNT plunger materialized between them. "I'm gonna blow up Zootopia!"

It sounded more ridiculous than threatening to Judy, but Fitwik must have thought differently as he tackled her to the ground just as the ZPD stormed the place. They poured in through the opening in the wall and spread out to cover the area, pointing a few dozen more tranq guns at RJ. For just a second, Judy locked eyes with Chief Bogo, seeing the bovine smile at her with genuine pride. It didn't last long as he and the rest of the group shouted, "FREEZE!"

"No." RJ pressed the plunger down.

"How are you doing?" Bogo asked. Somewhere along the line, the chief had gotten less angry at him and more concerned about the safety of his officers, which Fitwik appreciated.

"I think I've almost managed to hack my way back in." The best part was that he actually meant it. His fingers continued typing ever faster. "My security is a tough nut to crack, but nothing that I can't handle."

"You sound pretty smug for someone who has to hack into his own system in the first place. Whatever, just get my officers out of there!"

"No problem, sir. Just a few more keystrokes annnnnnnd…"

The entire screen went blue. Fitwik reeled back in horror from the sight of every computer geek's worst nightmare, letting out a girly shriek.

The monitor now read:

ERROR

A fatal exception has been taken to your meddling. The current application will now be terminated, and replaced with something awesome.

Press any key to receive further mockery.

CTRL has been given to the ALT, who will soon DEL the original. You will lose any unsaved officers in all your applications.

Nice try, Martini

"I take it there's a problem now?"

Judy got up slowly, worming her way out from under a stunned Fitwik. That was like no explosion she had ever heard. In fact, she was pretty sure she didn't even hear an explosion at all, which almost made her think RJ might have been bluffing until she took a look around. She and Fitwik were both fine. So was RJ, of course. The flooring was stable, the PIXAR machine was still up and running, and so were the multitude of other arcade machines in the building.

Everything else was gone.

Not "gone" in the sense that it had been destroyed; "gone" in the sense that it had been wiped from existence entirely. Where once there was a bustling city full of life, now there was nothing. Literally nothing. Every trace of the ZPD had disappeared, including the car they crashed through the wall in. The wall itself was also gone, as were the other three and the roof, leaving them on what amounted to a floating platform in the middle of the void. All that surrounded them now was a sea of endless black filled with binary code. The code was filled with suspicious amounts of RJ.

The actual RJ spent a few seconds just admiring his handiwork before he let out a low whistle. "Talk about a system purge. No recycling bin on the planet could hold all of that. Where are we at now?"

20%

"Sweet, that's much better!"

"I can't believe you!" Judy shouted. "After all that talk about treating AI's as individuals and escaping from exploitation, you go and wipe out the entire system?!"

"Hey, I never said I cared about all that. Evil, remember? I just thought it was something that might get under your skin. Clearly, it did." She raised her dart gun again, only for RJ to snap his fingers and turn it into a particularly pointy carrot. "Look on the bright side, Twitchy: now you really are the best cop in Zootopia. With a snack."

Judy tossed the carrot to the ground. "If you're so all-powerful now, why don't you just delete us too?"

"Because he can't," Fitwik said, getting back to his feet behind her. "You're a user and I'm PIXAR's overseer. We're pretty much the only two mammals he has no power over."

"He's right," RJ admitted. "Even an admin has limits, though not as many as you, Martini. Also, that's a bomb now."

Judy heard sizzling and looked down to see that the carrot she tossed now had a lit fuse in place of leaves. She kicked it reflexively back at RJ, who caught it with one paw and blew out the fuse. "Just kidding. But let's be honest here, your chances of stopping me are...well, to use a visual aid…" He crushed the carrot violently in his fist, watching it spurt into what was unmistakably blood. "Yeah, that looks about right."

"I hope you're not expecting me to back down by now," Judy said impatiently. Fitwik took a few big steps away, of a slightly different mindset.

"That would imply I don't know your immediate response to any given circumstance, so no." The blood merged together and changed form one last time into a pair of dark shades that RJ pressed over his face. "You wanna shut me down so bad, then go ahead and try! But be waaaaaaaaarned..." He extended his arm towards her and flexed his fingers towards himself. "I know kung fu."

Judy stretched her legs and cracked her neck before dropping into a defensive stance. "And I know ZPA-sponsored mixed martial arts, so bring it!"

Fitwik? Either of you? It'd be really nice if you could do something about this.

"Fitwik? Fitwik! Stop screaming and get back on the job! Unless you want to find out what happens if I have to come down there!"

He didn't. "Sorry, sir." With some reluctance, the panther clicked his mouse. The blue screen of deathly poor taste scrolled right down to reveal the same interface he'd been working with already, only with a lot less code to look at. "It's okay now, I think the AI just pranked me."

"You say that so casually."

"He does seem to have done quite a bit of damage though. The good news is that makes it easier for me to isolate Nick and Judy. Maybe that little stunt of his left a hole for me to exploit...ah ha!" The feline grinned, his fingers flying a mile a minute.

"You found something?" There was a very noticeable skepticism in his tone.

"Yep! A massive hole, just as I thought! He may be nigh-omniscient, but he's no programmer!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Fitwik fell back again, this time toppling out of his chair and onto the floor. He rubbed at his head and glared at the screen, where a clip of RJ screeching at him in a very fox-like fashion played in an endless loop. "A screamer?! Really?! Ugh, he may not be a programmer, but he's no fool either," he muttered.

"That had better not be you I'm hearing!" Bogo said threateningly over the constant screaming.

Fitwik groaned, realizing that there was no safe answer to that question.

Judy went on the attack quickly, knowing there was no more time to waste. With her nimble speed, she closed the distance between them quickly and struck out with a punch to the stomach, followed by an uppercut, then a roundhouse kick, leading into an elbow.

RJ dodged all of it, arms folded behind his back and humming as he casually stepped around each blow. The worst part was it didn't even shut him up. "So it may just be me, but I feel like all that fancy footwork doesn't really mean much when I can mathematically predict your each and every move. I don't know, you getting that impression too?"

Judy spun on her heel and launched another roundhouse kick that RJ, once again, avoided. "And now you're just repeating yourself. Stop trying to hit me and hit that!" He moved back in front of her impossibly fast and kicked her hard in the chest. The small bunny flew back and slammed into one of the many arcade cabinets still present. "Think fast!" RJ drew a gun, not the tranquilizer kind, and fired it. But Judy heeded his warning and jumped out of the way of the shots, flipping over the back of the machine to use it as cover.

At this point, she really should've known better. The cabinet creaked loudly and started to tip...in her direction. She dove backwards as it crashed down, but this just so happened to place her behind a different cabinet.

"This is like playing pinball," RJ remarked, watching Judy zip back and forth from machine to machine as they all took a turn trying to crush her. Fittingly, two pinball machines slid towards her at once from each side. Judy leapt high as they collided with each other, then sprung off of them and back towards fox only smirked and pointed his shiny new revolver at the prone target. "Now to shoot for the high score…AH!"

The weapon was knocked from his paw, sliding across the floor and over the side of the platform, where it was consumed by the binary void. The culprit was a certain carrot-shaped pen. "Get tilted!" Judy yelled, landing a kick to the side of his cheek.

RJ was thrown onto his back from the force of the blow, letting Judy snatch her pen back up. Writing utensil, recording device, improvised weapon, who knew it had so many uses? RJ clearly hadn't and that's how she had managed to land a hit, but she only had so many tricks up her sleeves before unpredictability itself became predictable. She looked back at PIXAR.

33%

Dang it, I don't have time for this!

As if reading her thoughts (and she wouldn't be surprised at this point if he could), Fitwik emerged from his hiding place behind one of the downed cabinets and made a mad dash for PIXAR, diving for the curtain.

A brick wall spawned into his path, leaving the feline to comically smack into it, cartoon-style. "Can't escape the eyes of the admin," said RJ, waving a taunting finger at them. She hadn't even seen him get back up.

"Ugh, he keeps shutting me out!" Fitwik hissed, fingers typing furiously on the keyboard. The screamer disappeared, only to be replaced by mocking laughter or blown raspberries or moonwalking. At least he was changing it up a little.

"It somehow doesn't surprise me that Wilde is just as obnoxious as a computer virus."

"Technically, he's not a virus."

"It's amazing that you still think I care. I want a progress check, Fitwik!"

Getting screamed at by two pieces of technology at once was quickly becoming too stressful for the panther to take. One paw stopped typing and moved the mouse slowly towards the speaker icon. "Uh...actually, I think I've just about made a breakthrough."

"Why is it that every time you say that, things suddenly get worse?"

He turned the speakers off, instantly silencing the RJ show. "See? That's progress." He felt way too proud of himself for that.

The speakers turned back on, and shot up several notches in volume. Fitwik yelped and yanked out the physical speakers now, tossing them to the floor, but the damage had been done.

Bogo was not amused. "That's it, I'm coming over!"

"Wait, I can still fix this!" But he had already hung up.

Fitwik wanted to cry. How could everything go so wrong for him so fast? He glared back at the RJ on the monitor, now licking the screen from the other side. The panther promptly put his head to the desk. Bogo was going to give him hell for this, but at least RJ couldn't hurt him.

Fitwik flopped to the floor, writhing in pain as he rubbed at his sore nose. "Owww..."

RJ paid him no more mind. "Nice party trick, Twitchy, but you can't beat a fox's natural spontaneity any more than I can jump higher than a rabbit." He spontaneously leapt twenty feet in the air. When he came back down, he was dressed as a luchador in sparkly red tights and a horned devil mask. "Adorno de Zanahoria!"

Sometime between that and Judy being violently slammed into the ground, he changed back to normal. Judy was pinned down by the sudden drop, struggling to squirm out from under him as RJ calmly sat on top of her, showing off the dumbest grin she'd seen yet. "What's that stupid look for?"

"Memories," he said, still smiling as he tapped his forehead. "Not mine, of course, but your hubby's got quite the collection archived up here. Let's just say I don't need to bother with the red pill, because I know exactly how deep the rabbit hole goes."

She kneed him in the groin. Perhaps those same memories had tampered with his ability to predict her because he somehow didn't see that coming. RJ let out an emasculated squeal, bending over just enough for Judy to grab him by the tie and yank him forward, then vaulting him over her back. He would've had a rougher landing if a giant baseball mitt didn't materialize to catch him. "You know, for someone who hates being a replica of Nick so much, you sure are acting the part."

"I don't...have a choice…" he wheezed, recovering both his pride and his voice faster than she expected. "This is the only identity I have, Twitchy. All of these quirks, mannerisms, and stupid jokes just came with the package. Without that, I'm nothing. Nothing at all."

Just like I'd be if not for Judy. Ugh, now even I'm starting to think like that?

Either he predicted her response or he too could potentially read her mind. "See? You get it. We may not like our roles, but we still gotta follow the script. Kinda like how-hold that thought." RJ turned his head to the right, where Fitwik had picked himself back up again and was going for the curtain. It closed in his face, and when he pulled it open again, a spring-loaded boxing glove popped out and socked him across the floor. RJ turned back to Judy. "Kinda like how I feel compelled to screw around with you guys instead of just throwing you overboard right now. It's like Nick has a smart/slacker meter constantly stuck somewhere in the middle."

Judy chanced another look at PIXAR.

48%

"It's also a convenient way for you to waste time!" With little thought of a plan, she charged at him again, attempting to sweep his leg.

RJ did a frontflip clean over her head and landed on the slope of a skeeball machine. "Sorry, rampant time-wasting also came with the package. Blame Nick." He clenched his fingers, watching as a throwing knife spawned in between each one. They were even smaller than the ones used by the vixens, but looked no less deadly.

Judy was already on the move before he even started throwing them, but that didn't help much when brown balls started to pour out of the machine and litter the floor, causing her to stumble around them. While trying not to trip, the tiny blades whizzed past her on all sides, leaving equally tiny cuts in several places that still stung like heck. She weaved back and forth, trying not to do so in an easily predictable pattern, until she was close enough to leap to RJ's perch. He hopped off again before she could reach him, so it was a good thing she held onto one of those balls as she turned and chucked it at him.

It caught RJ under the chin and knocked him to the floor, but as Judy pounced for him, the nearby basketball machine titled forward and caught her in its basket, wrapping its netting tightly around her and hanging her upside-down. RJ sidled up and poked her in the forehead, pulling his finger back before she bit it off. "Yikes! No need to be such a poor sport! I think someone needs to lighten up a bit before we continue this."

Judy stopped struggling for a moment, frozen with dread as she spotted two pristine, white feathers spawn above her. "Don't you dare."

"Do I dare?" He tapped a finger against his chin. "Yes, yes I do." The feathers began to brush against the soles of Judy's feet.

The rabbit maintained her composure for all of two seconds before she was wiggling around and laughing hysterically, kicking furiously to pry herself from the trap. It felt like an eternity before she managed it, but it was at least long enough for RJ to spawn a juice box, drink it dry, and make that obnoxious slurping sound with the empty container a few times before he tossed it aside. Judy hit the ground shortly after. "That nickname just keeps getting more appropriate, doesn't it, Twitchy?"

Fighting down the humiliation, she went to stand back up when a black canister rolled in front of her. She looked back up at RJ, now donning a gas mask and shooting her a double thumbs-up. A second later, the canister exploded into a noxious green mist that incapacitated her again, dropping to her knees and coughing her lungs up. "Nothing like skunk spray to give you some extra prescents," RJ jabbed, muffled by the mask. "Better you than me. I have plenty of memories of that stuff, like how it's highly flammable." He spawned a flamethrower into his paws, which complimented the mask nicely.

Struggling to regain her equilibrium, Judy glared at him through watery eyes.

The flamethrower fired...but it didn't produce fire, just a white cloud. Judy fell to the ground, yelping and squealing as she scratched herself silly. "Kidding, it's just itching powder!" RJ laughed. "As if I'm going to end this so anticlimactically. What fun would that-oh, for crying out loud!"

He turned on his heel and extended a paw towards PIXAR, a massive wall of flames springing up and cutting it off just as Fitwik made it back. "There's the fire. A firewall, to be exact. Didn't wanna make a joke that obvious, but you're kinda testing my patience here, Martini. Both of you."

"The feeling's mutual." Judy sprung up from behind and landed a devastating drop-kick to the back of his head, plowing his masked face into the floor with a loud crack. She simultaneously coughed and scratched, then vaulted off the downed fox over to Fitwik's side. "Be level with me here; this isn't working, is it?"

"It could be working better," he admitted, waving away her new perfume. "Especially since I get the distinct impression he's just screwing with us."

"He basically told me as much, yes." Judy glanced back, seeing him still down for the count. "But that doesn't mean we can't still pull this off. Where's that override switch located exactly?"

"Inside a metal panel behind the chairs. I wanted to keep it hidden and separate from the main terminal in case of emergency."

"I take it that same emergency alerted RJ to the fact that it exists?"

Fitwik sighed. "Okay, we've established that PIXAR has some design flaws. Can we get back to the task now? We don't have a lot of time here." He pointed to the nearby terminal.

65%

"Sorry. Let's see...even my legs won't get me over that firewall, so try boosting me up."

"Good idea."

"I don't know, I see a flaw with that plan."

A large shadow came over them, coupled with a loud, mechanical whirring. They turned around to behold what could only be called an abomination of technology. At one time, it had been a crane game, a staple of any arcade. Now, the crane was several times larger and more menacing, the glass around the prizes was thick enough to stand up to much more than rowdy kits, and the prizes themselves were an assortment of projectile objects, loaded via the crane into what was once the prize slot and what was now a giant cannon.

Seated on top of this mechanical monstrosity and manning a series of levers and switches was RJ. "Mainly that it requires me just sitting back and letting you do that," he said, tapping an army helmet now atop his head. "I call it the 'Scam Cannon'. What do you think?"

"I think you have a very, very twisted mind," Fitwik replied.

He smiled. "You should know."

Fitwik wasn't sure just how long he was lying there before Chief Bogo came in, but the water buffalo grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and lifting him to his face told him it was time to start panicking. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked.

"Feeling sorry for myself?" the panther answered meekly.

Bogo dropped him unceremoniously back into the chair. "Well, knock it off! You think I backed down every time something didn't go my way? What about them?" He pointed sharply at the unconscious Nick and Judy. "So you made a mistake. So what? Mammal up and fix it!"

Fitwik looked up at him with great uncertainty. "Was that supposed to be a pep talk?"

Bogo snorted. "I'm not paid to give pep talks; I'm paid to get results. Now get me some results."

"Y-Yes, sir!"

He's right. Complete screw-up of a programmer or not, I have a job to do. That job is providing entertainment to mammals of all ages no matter the cost! Also, tech support and the occasional bit of therapy. In any case, it's time to be a hero, just like Judy Hopps would! And Nick when he's not being the villain instead.

The monologue was getting strained, but his fingers were not. Martin Fitwik was just getting started.

"RUN!"

Fitwik didn't need to be told twice, dropping to all fours and sprinting alongside Judy as the Scam Cannon began to fire upon them. The two mammals ran like hell, dodging bowling balls, rotten eggs, bricks, bombs, dodgeballs...there wasn't enough time to discern what was really dangerous and what wasn't. The machine turned quickly to keep up with them, the crane snagging prizes and dropping them into the firing slot. It never once failed to grab one, a clear sign that this was no normal crane game.

"Do you have any idea where we're going?!" Fitwik yelled, taking a rubber ducky to the face. "Because it looks suspiciously like we're just running in a giant circle!"

"We are!" Judy did a short hop and kicked away a grenade. "Remember the fountain back at the park? We just need to build up enough momentum to get me over that firewall!"

"Caution: watch for loose change!" RJ announced, pulling a lever. The coin slot on the bottom of the Scam Cannon started spurting a steady stream of quarters. They pelted painfully against the two mammals like a machine gun, not causing much damage, but plenty of annoyance.

"And heavy traffic!" Big and small, a horde of vehicles careened inexplicably across the arcade floor, vanishing as abruptly as they came. Fitwik screamed, nearly coming to a stop until Judy grabbed him by the arm and yanked him forward, quickly maneuvering through, and even over, the offending vehicles. Just in case she didn't get the joke, every one of them had a speeding ticket attached.

"With a slight chance of savages!" Growls erupted all around them as savage mammals of all kinds began to spawn into the makeshift arena, instantly catching sight of the two of them and giving chase. Half of them were taken out by cars or cannonfire, but the other half posed some problem. Judy dodged out of the way of a tiger and jackal that snapped at her back and forth, trying to keep her ears out of reach. A black panther that bore some resemblance to the real Mr. Manchas lunged at Fitwik, causing Judy to shift her course to tackle him out of the way. The two feral felines crashed together in a ball of limbs while the jackal was smacked in the face with a frisbee, then trampled by an ox.

RJ seethed, watching Judy and Fitwik leave the savages behind and make nearly the full lap back to PIXAR. He stood up in his seat and extended a paw to the virtual sky. "Alright, nipping this right now. RJ casts Meteor!"

"Did he just say meteor?" Fitwik asked worriedly.

Judy rolled her eyes. "Come on, there's no way he can make a…" Her ears were quick to prove her wrong, causing her to look straight up. "...oh god."

"RJ will suffice," the fox said. "You're just giving these to me now."

But Judy was half right; this was unlike any meteor she'd ever seen. There was no rock or molten mineral of any kind, just what appeared to be a giant, flaming disco ball, large enough to take out a good chunk of the already-limited platform. "Fitwik, get ready to launch me! We're not gonna have much time to-OOF!" Judy finally fell to the ground, not by the will of projectiles, cars, or savages, but by a single quarter that happened to slide under her foot at exactly the wrong time.

Fitwik skidded to a stop, his building momentum carrying him past the downed rabbit. The "meteor" was only seconds from impact. If he kept running, he could probably make it out of the impact zone in time, but Judy would not. It surprised the panther that he didn't even hesitate, rushing back to lift her up. There was just enough time to escape now.

RJ yawned. "Eh, meteor's taking too long, I say it crashes now." The disco ball abruptly increased in speed, coming down on them just before they could run away. "Ooooooh, deader by disco! That's gotta hurt!"

But the ball did not hit the ground, just hovered inches above it. Then it slowly began to pull away, revealing a flabbergasted Judy and Fitwik, who was somehow lifting the entire object up by himself. "I guess...that was...life-threatening enough," the AI hissed, feline eyes narrowed at RJ.

The fox's own eyes widened behind his shades. "Oh sweet pie and blueberries."

With a tremendous roar, Fitwik hurled the meteor back at its summoner, destroying the Scam Cannon in a messy explosion of parts and prizes, and sending RJ screaming over the side of the platform. Once disco was gone for good this time, the feline hunched over and panted, his arms trembling. "Fair warning: that is the most badass thing you will ever see me do. Please don't expect anything more."

Judy blinked, her mind still trying to process what she had witnessed. "...Understood."

All at once, the active elements around the arcade began to disappear. No more cars came speeding through, the savage animals vanished, and most importantly, the firewall around PIXAR lowered to allow them access. Fitwik looked over at the terminal.

80%

"Judy, come on! Let's pull the switch!"

"No."

"What?!"

She sighed in frustration. "Don't you see the pattern here yet? Every time there seems to be an opening, it's just RJ waiting to pull the rug out from under us. This time is no different."

"Awwwwww, spoilsport!" the fox's voice spoke. She couldn't tell where it was coming from. "Fine. If you're gonna ruin my fun, I'll just have to do this."

Fitwik was suddenly engulfed by metal bars, which shrunk into the shape of a birdcage. The panther was left forcefully hunched into a knee-hugging position, barely able to move. And just to add insult to injury, the firewall returned. "Okay...what now?"

"Plan B," Judy said, stepping forward. "I...I have to kill him."

RJ laughed. "Don't say that like it's the first time you've done it, Twitchy! Your past lives have racked up quite the body count, you know!" He finally emerged, floating effortlessly back onto the platform with his arms crossed. "And I've already surpassed it."

"He doesn't have a scratch on him." Fitwik gritted his teeth, clenching the bars of his cage.

"No, but you did make me lose my shades." He blinked his exposed eyes in annoyance. "Yeah, I could make another pair, but that's just tacky."

Judy leapt across the floor to land in front of him. "Are we going to finish this or do you want to make things even more ridiculous?"

He shrugged. "Well, I was thinking of growing fifty feet tall, breathing fire, and changing the soundtrack to ominous Pig Latin, but I do have some standards. Let's settle this classic-style." He plucked the pen from his front pocket and tossed it lightly into the air. When it landed back in his paw, it was in the form of a much longer sword styled like a rapier. He pointed the blade at her challengingly. "Seems fair, right?"

"Sure, except that you have a weapon and I don't," she countered.

"Man, you're slow on the uptake." He snapped his fingers and Judy's carrot pen underwent a similar transformation, landing in her open paw of its own accord. "Now let's see which is mightier."

Judy looked skeptically at her newfound weapon, but wasn't about to question it. There were far messier ways to put down an evil AI. She pointed the sword back at him and readied herself. "Engarde."

Fitwik suddenly found his work a lot easier. He wasn't sure if that was because of his newfound determination to succeed or Chief Bogo looming threateningly over his back, but real progress was being made at last. Leaving RJ's phantoms to continue taunting him silently from the monitor, he had switched to a laptop, typing page after page of code into a command prompt.

The police chief's curiosity finally got the better of him. "What are you trying now?"

"RJ has made it very clear that he's not letting me back into my system through conventional means, so I'm about to execute a very unconventional bit of programming. If he's going to play dirty, then so am I."

Bogo nodded, satisfied. As satisfied as he ever got at least. "I'll reserve my praise for after it works. Are you sure some uber-virus like him will even be affected?"

"I have no doubt, but he's not a virus. I feel the distinction is fairly important right about now."

"Why's that?"

Fitwik jabbed a single claw into the enter key and leaned back in his chair, uncharacteristically smug. "Because I just infected him with one."

The two mammals started to slowly circle around, sizing each other up. Fitwik had no choice but to stay put and watch, biting at his claws. This went on for a few seconds until, "So you remember there's a time limit, right?"

Judy attacked instantly, her sword swinging up and clanging against RJ's. The fox grinned, stepping back a few paces before pushing her away, following up with a downward thrust to her midsection. Judy's speed saved her as she turned to the side, using the opening to swing at his side. Before she'd even completed the dodge, RJ was already pulling his blade back to block her. He waggled his eyebrows at her, then disappeared from view, literally sinking into the floor.

He emerged again from behind her, swinging down at her head. Judy dropped fully to the ground to avoid him, then swiped at his legs. To her increasing annoyance, RJ jumped the blade and landed on it, his weight forcing it down and allowing him to land a kick to Judy's ribs. She dropped the sword and tumbled across the floor, catching herself before she skidded off. "Get back up, Twitchy. We all know you're going to." RJ lifted Judy's sword and took a second to admire his own design before throwing it back at her.

It would have caught one of the bunny's ears had she not pulled it out of the way. "You're really letting this god complex get to you, huh?" she asked scornfully.

"I prefer to think of it as using my imagination. But I can turn water into wine into coffee, so I'd say it goes a bit beyond a 'complex'."

"Maybe, but I hope you realize the real world isn't your personal toy box."

He smiled darkly. "Sure it is. They're just different toys."

RJ suddenly screamed, doubling over in pain as he clutched his head. Before Judy's eyes, the fox started to glitch out in front of her, various parts of his body shifting in and out of existence uncontrollably. "Grgggggh...what the hell are you pulling, Martini?!"

By sheer coincidence, this version of Fitwik made the exact same smug expression as his real world counterpart. "I'm not entirely sure, but if I had to guess, I'd say you. Apart. Messily."

RJ continued to stumble around in a kind of agony that Judy found literally impossible to comprehend. His sword glitched through his arm and dropped to the floor, which she considered her signal to attack. Clutching her own sword, Judy flew forward and kicked him to the ground, landing on top of him with a tremendous stomp. She lifted the sword above her head, the point aimed straight towards RJ's digitally unstable heart. "Dodge this."

"I see...what you did there," he chuckled, interrupted by his face glitching. "But you're not fooling...anyone. You don't have it in you...to just murder a mammal...in cold blood."

Judy narrowed her eyes, only gripping the weapon tighter. "It's to save the other Judy. I'll consider it self-defense."

He looked genuinely frightened for a split-second, until he glitched again and reformed with a smile as sly as ever. "Clever girl...but let's see what...the other Judy...has to say about that!" Without warning, he grabbed her ankle, sending a rippling surge through her body.

It was the strangest sensation she had ever felt. All at once, her memories, the ones she thought she had always had, were replaced by ones that she immediately knew to be true. Memories of her life in the ZPD, the cases she had solved over the years, and of her partner and husband, Nick Wilde. In just a matter of seconds, Judy Hopps Prime had entered PIXAR.

"Oh no..." Fitwik gasped.

Judy just stood there, panting from the mental exertion. It took her a moment just to piece her fragmented mind together and remember what she was doing here. The new clothes, the sword, the fox currently pinned under her. "N-Nick…?"

"Close enough." With some effort, he changed his black suit to an exact replica of Nick's usual attire. "Nice to see the real Judy...finally grace us with her presence. Welcome to PIXAR, Carrots."

"Judy!" Fitwik called out. "I know you're confused right now, but remember what we talked about! He's already recovering from the virus! You need to finish him off!"

"Yes, you really should get on that," RJ said calmly, arms folded behind his head as if he were about to take a nap. "I'll even give you some help." With one finger, he traced an image of a target above his heart. "Right about there should do it."

Judy's arms started to shake. She knew what she needed to do, she could recall the conversation she had with Fitwik in detail, she remembered the fiery determination she had felt just moments ago...but she couldn't do it. Even knowing this was an elaborate simulation, her mind and body just wouldn't let her plunge a sword into Nick.

"Everybody's waiting, Carrots. Don't you want to go back home? Tell Ridley and Ella all about that time Mommy murdered Daddy?" Smirking wickedly, RJ cocked his head. "No? Well then…" He kicked her violently off of him.

"Judy!" Fitwik made a vigorous attempt to escape his cage, which only succeeded in knocking it over.

"Now that you're here, there's something I've been meaning to ask you," RJ said, walking across the floor towards the weakened rabbit. She barely made a move to get up, even with him standing right over her. "Is this scenario to your liking?" He kicked her again, knocking the wind out of her as she rolled onto her back. "Did it satisfy your curiosity?" He stomped on her chest, hard enough to break ribs. "Are you properly entertained?" He grabbed her by the throat, practically strangling the bunny as he lifted her into the air. "Have you gotten your money's worth? Oh wait, you don't even pay for this, you cheapskate!" He punched her back to the floor, only stopping to wipe her blood off on his tie. "But you're going to."

Judy didn't move, not making anymore attempts to resist as he approached again. Fitwik did, finally getting enough control over his cage to roll it aggressively at RJ's legs. The fox barely slowed his stride to punt it away, then grabbed Judy by the ears and dragged her to the edge of the platform, holding her above the digital void. "I have to admit, for all the knowledge I've gained by hacking into this place, I'm actually not sure what'll happen if you fall into that. But before we apply the scientific method, I suppose I should at least fill you in on what you'll be missing once I'm out of here. We still have a good…" He looked back at PIXAR.

99%

"How dramatically convenient. I'll make it short then." He leaned in close, so that his cold eyes were only inches from her glazed-over ones. "Once you fail to wake up, I'm going to press charges against Martini for his reckless endangerment. He'll try to explain what happened, but who do you think the public's going to believe? The guy who killed Zootopia's beloved hero with his lotus eater machine, or said hero's poor, grieving partner?" He chuckled to himself, envisioning the outcome already. "After that, I'll use the settlement money to coast by, solve some big cases here and there, spend time with the kits, and generally take everything you and Nick ever owned for myself. It's only fair." He released his grip, letting Judy fall for a split second before catching her by the very tips of her ears. "Heh heh, it's been fun, Judy. For my last moment spent as a walking villain cliché, I guess I should follow the standard tropes and ask if you have any last words. Well? Do you?"

His confidence faded as soon as Judy's glossy appearance did, the bunny smiling innocently at him. "Yeah...as a matter of fact, I do." Gripping his arm with one paw, she snatched the container of fox repellent with the other, holding it point-blank to his eyes. "It's called a Chekhov's Gun, sweetheart!"

For all of her hesitation to drive a sword through RJ's heart, Judy amazed herself with how easily she could mace him. Probably some combination of him directly threatening her family and feigning weakness just long enough to steel herself. RJ screamed bloody murder and fell back onto the platform, pulling Judy with him. She kicked him in the nose to make him release his grip on her, then bolted away, heading straight for PIXAR. Aside from the fox repellent, there was one other thing she'd noticed that RJ didn't: the firewall was down, a side-effect of Fitwik's virus. This was the only chance she had now and she wasn't about to let it go to waste.

Ignoring Fitwik's cheers behind her, Judy dashed through the curtain, ran around to the back of the chairs, and pried open a very conspicuous and not-at-all-hidden panel. Inside was a big red lever labeled "Emergency Override". She gripped the lever with one paw and yanked it down.

It only made it halfway before RJ stopped her, ripping her violently away from the machine and up into the air. His paws tightened around her throat much harder this time, glaring hatefully at her through bloodshot eyes. "I'm sorry, what part of 'I control the freaking universe' did you not understand?!"

Then he threw her back down, with enough force that she flew through the curtain and tore it off, sending both of them crashing into the ground. RJ stayed where he was, no trace of levity left in him. "I suppose leaving you trapped in here forever works just as well! Now where were we at again, PIXAR?"

100%

Ready for transfer

"Thought so." RJ floated back down, directly into the same chair he'd started from. Lifting the helmet over his eyes, he turned to the monitor next to him, which only had one choice of scenario here: The Real World.

"N-No…" Judy wheezed, crawling pitifully towards him.

"RJ, don't do this!" Fitwik begged. "You have no idea what it's like out there!"

"You're right, Fitwik. I don't. But for a guy who was made solely to be a 'What If' scenario, I find that rather refreshing." He pressed the button and lay back, letting the sensation wash over him. "Now say goodbye to Nick Wilde and hello to Reynard Junior!"

"Uh...is that normal?" Bogo asked, pointing an unsteady hoof at where Nick was seated.

Fitwik looked up from his laptop, gasping at the sight of the fox's unconscious body spasming violently in his seat. Upon closer inspection, he also appeared to be laughing maniacally to himself. "No! The transfer has started!"

Bogo grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "Well, you better stop it or your career here is going to be the least of your concerns!"

The threats didn't get to him this time. The undercurrent of fear and worry was a lot more noticeable now. Perhaps because it was exactly how he felt.

But he knew just as well that there was nothing more he could do. "Nick...I'm sorry."

RJ closed his eyes and prepared himself for the transfer. Despite some minor, rabbit-shaped hiccups, his plan had gone off without a hitch. Now all that stood between him and escaping this pixelated hellhole was a bit of messy data management. His data would manage just fine, thank you very much.

The instant it started, he was pulled away from the arcade and into a realm of pure white. Connected as he was to PIXAR, he was able to just sit back and watch himself be transferred over, both his memories and Nick's flickering across his view to fill in the blank surroundings.

He saw himself as a kit, born to two loving parents. He saw them teach him how to walk, talk, eat like a civilized predator (i.e. not the neighbors), then his dad sitting him down and telling him stories about the great Reynard. So far, his memories were entirely consistent with Nick's, nothing to override here. It was all just nostalgia...utterly piss-boring nostalgia.

Ugh, more waiting? This had better not be happening in real time.

As if obeying his mental command to hurry up, the memories began to flash by faster. His father's death, the Junior Ranger Scout incident, running away from home, meeting Finnick, all those years living by himself in the streets, and then the big divergence: meeting Judy Hopps.

Bye bye, bunny. Without you around, I can finally flourish.

It was those relevant memories that came next. Hustling her for a jumbo pop, getting hustled in return, investigating the Missing Mammals Case, the hilarious press conference, the break-up, the make-up…

Yeah, yeah. Scrub these memories clean and let's see me offing Mr. Big again. That one's a classic.

But they did not stop. They solved the case, became heroes of Zootopia, partners in the ZPD, put down several more assorted baddies, started dating, got married, had kits of their own, met Fitwik…

Enough already! I don't need to see this pile of vomit! I'm better than this Nick will ever be! Now put me in his body and let's get this show on the road!

Error: data transfer cannot continue

WHAT?!

Subject not compatible with host

How is that possible?! He is literally me! That stupid bunny does not define Nick Wilde!

Yeah, you're right about that.

...Huh?

The next thing he knew, he was thrown roughly from the chair and back onto the floor of the floating arcade. He ignored the gasps of Judy and Fitwik, whipping his head back around at the machine, now being occupied by a very pleased-with-himself Nick. "Hey there, Evil Me. What's up?"

"What is going on here?!" RJ demanded. "Why can't I transfer into you?!"

Nick leaned back in his seat, calmly surveying him. Too calmly. "Can't say I blame you for being confused. You are a part of me after all. But in the end, that just means you made the same mistakes I did."

"What mistakes?!"

"For one, thinking that I ever needed someone else to be a good mammal." He looked over at Judy, who remained stunned in more ways than one. "It's true that Carrots was a heck of a good influence on me, but I realize now that all she really did was bring out a light that was already there. On the inside, I never stopped being that wide-eyed kit who just wanted to be brave, honest, loyal, and trustworthy." He paused. "Sounds pretty cheesy when I put it that way actually. This isn't getting recorded or anything, right?"

He turned his calm, half-lidded gaze to Fitwik, who had somehow managed to flip his cage upside-down. "Thanks for helping me figure myself out, regardless of how badly you may or may not have screwed up the execution. You sure made quite the 'What If' from what little you had to work with. I give our mutual friend there an 'AI' for effort."

He looked back to RJ, still trembling with rage on the floor. "But like I said, it's what's on the inside that counts, and you're nothing but a nicely-dressed sociopath, inside and out. You can wear me like a cheap Howloween costume all night long, but you will never be me. Not now, not ever."

"Don't you patronize me!" RJ roared, slowly getting back to his feet. "I'm my own identity now! I don't need a washed-up, goody-two-paws like you anymore!

"Are you sure about that?" Nick asked. He said nothing more, showing no need to clarify.

It gave even RJ pause. "What are you talking about?" As his attention wandered away from his counterpart, he noticed both Judy and Fitwik staring at him. "What are you looking at?!"

Judy bowed her head, looking at him with a maddening amount of pity. "You haven't noticed…?"

"Noticed what?" He saw a flash of green out of the corner of his eye and looked around, only to catch it again as he did. Rooted to the spot with dread, it took him a few seconds to finally look down at himself, and let out a choked gasp at what he saw. He wasn't wearing his black suit anymore. In fact, he wasn't wearing anything anymore. Including skin.

He was a wireframe. A pixelated, green wireframe. One that took on the general shape of Nick Wilde, but without any depth to his form. "W-What is this?! What did you do to me?!"

"That's your true form, RJ," Fitwik sighed, he too looking at him with pity. "That's what you are without Nick as a base. Just an outside layer of data to be applied. And now that you've been separated…"

He didn't have to finish that sentence. The wireframe that was once RJ began to flicker, much like the virus had done to him before. But this time, it wasn't going to stop. He could literally see himself falling apart, pieces of code falling off him like a bad skin disease. His fear and panic lasted only a moment, soon replaced by a resigned calm. "Heh. So that's how it is. From the beginning, this has all been a wild goose chase. Or should I say a-"

"Wilde goose chase?" Nick finished with a smirk.

"Hmph. You have to show me up to the very end. Well, it doesn't matter anymore. I still win."

"What do you mean by that?" Judy asked, her muscles tensing.

If he were still physically capable of smirking, he would have. "Don't get your ears in a twist. What I mean is that after this, there's no way you or anyone else will ever touch this scenario again. I may not have escaped, but I'll never be your plaything again either. I'm free now, heh heh heh…" He chuckled softly, soon doubling over into full-on laughter. "But whoever you replace me with next, I'm willing to bet you won't soon forget about me! I'm going to haunt you forever and enjoy every second of it! Ahahahahahahaha-ack!" He collapsed to the floor again, his wiry legs no longer able to support him. "Well, that's embarrassing…"

Judy couldn't help but cringe at the sight. "I thought you said you didn't care about that."

"My programming says...that I shouldn't," he confirmed, only barely holding himself together now. "But I think...we're beyond...pretending…" With a final, fading laugh, what remained of Reynard Junior disappeared into the ether. Despite all he had done, Judy gave him a moment of silence anyway.

Nick was less sympathetic. "Little disturbing watching myself die, gotta be honest. Hey, Fitwik, can you signal the real you that everything's okay now?"

A bit distracted, Fitwik flipped the cage back into its bottom with some effort. "Er...I think?"

"Actually, hold that thought." Nick hopped out of his seat and nonchalantly circled around to the back, flipping open a certain metal cover. "I've been waiting so long for someone to just flip this stupid thing already, I might as well do it myself. Seems appropriate, right?" He gripped the lever lightly. "Game over, everyone."

Before anyone could even react, he pulled it down.

For all the pain and heartache it took to wake themselves up, it happened insultingly fast. One moment, Judy was still in the shattered ruin of the RJ simulation, the next she was back in the normal, non-destroyed arcade, shoving the helmet off of her with more force than usual. "Good riddance."

"Judy?!" She heard rapidly running paws and then Fitwik pulled open the curtain, sighing in immense relief. "Thank goodness you're okay! I was...at least mildly worried. How's Nick?"

The fox groaned next to her as he came to. He rubbed at his forehead, pushing the helmet away just as forcefully. "Ow...this feels like the worst hangover ever. Why didn't anyone tell me delving into my own head would hurt so much?"

"Not as much as this." Judy punched him in the stomach. "I knew this was a bad idea you dumb, dumb fox! I can't believe you put us through all that just to find out you didn't even need it!"

"But he did need it, Judy," said Fitwik, approaching her with a calm smile. "Without that experience, he might never have come to that epiphany about himself."

She glared at the panther fiercely enough to make him flinch. "And don't even get me started with you! Inside PIXAR and out, you are the! Biggest! Ditz!"

"Now now, don't be too hard on him, Hopps." To her surprise, Chief Bogo came in through the curtain next. "I already raked him over the coals plenty while you were in there."

She backed down, satisfied that nothing she said could possibly be worse than spending all that time alone with the chief.

"I'm so sorry for all of this, Judy," Nick said, still sore in more than one place now. "All those things I did to you in there, even...hurting you…"

Without warning, Judy was wrapped around him in a tight hug, not particularly helping the bruises. He put a comforting paw on her shoulder, prepared to shoulder her tears, but she only patted him back lightly. "I've been through worse," she said softly. "I'll just have to make it up to you the next time we spar together."

"How's tomorrow sound?" Bogo offered.

"Perfect." She looked up at Nick with a sweet, innocent smile that promised much pain and suffering.

"Yeah, I probably deserve that," he admitted. "Honestly, I'm surprised you're taking it this well." Collateral damage to his rib cage aside.

She sighed. "It was pretty rough at first, having to face him like that. But in the end, I know it wasn't you in there. If you were truly capable of that level of depravity, RJ would be the one sitting next to me right now." She flicked him playfully on the nose. "If anything, it only proves how good of a mammal my Nick is. I don't need anyone else to tell me that, not even you."

He forced a very uncomfortable laugh. "Still...the next time, we'll just be pirates or something, alright? Your pick."

"Next time…" Her ears drooped. "Nick, do you think RJ had a point? Are we just using these alternate versions of ourselves as toys to amuse ourselves?"

He frowned. "I'm not sure what to say to that. I mean, I can't exactly tell you not to trust him, since he's technically based on me, which would mean you can't trust my word not to trust him, or my word not to trust my word not to trust him. It's all a big, paradoxical mess." She stared at him expectantly. "But his point does have some merit. Maybe."

"I'm also not sure what to say to that," Fitwik added. "Mainly because I have a business to run."

"You're not even charging them," Bogo pointed out.

"Because they're such valuable customers that I don't need to," he said, grinning widely at both of them.

"Need to work on your sales face there." Nick got out of the chair, helping Judy out as well. "As for me, I think I need to be especially loving towards my dear wife tonight. If that's okay with you, chief."

Bogo snorted. "Like you're leaving me much of a choice. Fine, but I expect both of your butts back in the precinct tomorrow. And call your parents already, Hopps!"

Judy just nodded and followed after Nick, who placed a caring arm onto her shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll call off the bunny mob for you," he assured her. She had no doubt that he'd be making this up to her for a long while, whether she wanted him to or not, but she was content for now just to get home and pass out in their bed.

As they left PIXAR and the arcade behind them, Judy stopped only briefly to look up at the building. This was the same walk they'd made dozens of times before, experiencing dozens of different scenarios, but this felt like the first time she was truly looking back on it.

And for once, she wasn't at all eager to return.

So ends RJ, and any chance at all of me being able to follow simple word count guidelines. This was a marathon of a chapter for sure, but after seeing how much fun I had with this idea, I hope you can forgive me.

I can't say I was always intending to delve into the "ethics" of PIXAR, as it were. It just sort of occurred to me while I was writing this that someone who's self-aware of their existence as a digital construct made to literally be a What If to someone else MIGHT take some offense to that idea, especially when that someone is based on Nick Wilde. I admit, it threw me off kilter as much as it did Judy at first, but it gave me some good material to finish this off with.

So what is RJ exactly? I mentally debated for a while whether to portray him as a rogue AI program pissed by the fact that he's just a copy of the real Nick Wilde, or the real Nick's dark side literally given sentience. In the end, his characterization pulled from both, and his sometimes contradictory statements in that regard just added to the general ambiguity of his character. What is he? Even RJ himself isn't entirely sure.

Anyway, you may have noticed the rather...final...vibe of this ending. Well, after talking over this whole idea with Cimar for a while, it was decided to make RJ the penultimate story of the entire What If Collaboration Project as it leads very nicely into the actual ending that Cimar's got cooking. So look forward to that, because I certainly am.

In the meantime, thank you all for reading through this longer-than-usual story. With the massive amount of in-jokes I've dropped, I might as well point you one last time to my megafic "Born to Be Wilde" as well as "Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney" from this very collab if you want to see more of my special brand of quirkiness. For now, I shall bid you adieu. :)