So this little collection was started back in 2014, and was basically an excuse for me to write as much Bones whump as possible. Since it's been sitting in my files for nearly five years now, I thought it was about time it was posted. Most of it is finished and just needs tidying up, and so I will be updating every week. I hope you enjoy it.

It's been a while, but many thanks to everyone at The Beta Branch for their support for this fic. It would still be a barely coherent one shot without you.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"Hey, Bones, guess what?"

"You got another free drink."

Kirk pouted. "You're taking all the fun out of this, Bones."

He had to shout to be heard over the pounding music, but even with the flashing lights he could see McCoy roll his eyes.

"Well, one of us has to act our age."

Kirk pulled himself up onto the stool next to him and slung an arm around his best friend's shoulders. "Wow, you really need to relax."

"You're plenty relaxed for the both of us," McCoy growled. "How many of those things have you had?"

Kirk scratched his head. Things had started to get a bit fuzzy after the sixth. Or was it the eighth? "Who cares? We're on shore leave."

McCoy looked like he was resisting the urge to bang his head on the bar. Jim's grin widened and he tossed his latest drink back. There were definite perks to being the hero of Earth.

"Can you at least try to be careful?"

"Why?" Kirk slurred. "We deserve a break."

They had been running constant missions for nearly six weeks and the whole crew was on edge. Spock had actually begun to look irritated when his exacting standards weren't met, and the less said about Uhura and Scotty the better. The chance to take shore leave had been greeted with delighted approval from all quarters.

McCoy, however, still did not look happy. "I'm serious, Jim. Too many more and you're not going to be able to walk."

Kirk grinned at him. "That's the idea." A waiter appeared with yet another drink, but McCoy's snort dimmed his glee. "C'mon, lighten up. You were never this paranoid before."

McCoy glared at him. "You weren't the youngest Starfleet captain in history before."

"So?"

"Damn it, Jim-"

"Bones, just drop it," Kirk interrupted. "I can look after myself."

"Yeah, you're doing a brilliant job of that."

Kirk felt the first flickers of irritation. Honestly, the man seemed to think he was the same hothead he had been all those years ago, not a fully trained starship captain. "Just leave me alone, McCoy," he growled. "I swear you're acting more like my dad than my doctor."

McCoy twitched, and Kirk's anger disappeared at the hurt in his eyes. He opened his mouth, though whether to explain or apologise he didn't know, but his attention was rather abruptly derailed by a most curious scent. "What is that?"

McCoy frowned at him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Kirk barely heard him. He could smell flowers, and perfume, and something that reminded him inexplicably of his favourite foods. But where was it coming from?

"Jim," McCoy hissed. "What is wrong with you?"

"That smell," Kirk managed.

McCoy's eyes narrowed. "Sweat and alcohol?"

"No, the other one. How can you not smell it?" It was like nothing he had ever experienced before.

McCoy's frown deepened. "Jim-"

"Excuse me," came a lilting voice, "but would you happen to be James Kirk?"

Kirk spun round and found himself staring into the deepest green eyes he had ever seen. Their owner was a tall woman, humanoid but for the brightly coloured plume of feathers she had in place of hair. And she was smiling at him.

Instinct immediately took over. "Jim Kirk," he said, rising to his feet. "Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise."

The smile widened, showing a row of dazzling white teeth. "A pleasure to meet you, Captain. I am Ilmari."

Kirk took her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. "I assure you, the pleasure is all mine. And it's Jim." He vaguely made out a snort from behind him but another blast of that scent diverted his attention. "You smell nice." He immediately felt his cheeks heat up in mortification, but Ilmari gave a melodious laugh.

"I created it myself. I am glad you like it."

"Very much."

Ilmari leaned over so that her mouth was right next to his ear. The proximity made his skin feel like it was on fire. "I can barely hear myself think in this place," she murmured. "How about we go somewhere more private?"

A year ago Kirk would have agreed without hesitation, if he hadn't already made the suggestion himself. A starship captain, however, had other priorities. "I don't know..."

"Please, Captain." Her fingers traced his jaw and he shivered under her touch. "It's not every day I get to meet someone like you."

Kirk knew he should be protesting. They were due back on the ship shortly and the captain had to set an example to the crew. As he stared into her eyes though, and breathed in her perfume, he found himself, perhaps for the first time in his life, at a loss for words. Ilmari's smile widened and he felt his resistance weakening.

Then a heavy hand came down on his shoulder. "Excuse me, ma'am," came McCoy's familiar drawl, "But I think the captain has had a little too much to drink and we really need to be beaming up soon."

Ilmari pursed her lips, but whatever she was about to say was interrupted by the outbreak of a fight between two Orions, an Andorian and a Tellarite. Ilmari rolled her eyes and leaned in towards him again. "Why don't we continue this discussion outside?" She didn't give Kirk a chance to protest, looping her arm through his and guiding him gently but firmly towards the door.

"Jim!"

"So, tell me about yourself, Jim," said Ilmari as they stepped out into the quiet of the night. What is it like to be a starship captain?"

Kirk smiled at her. "It's impossible to describe," he said. "Better than I ever imagined."

"Maybe you can try as you walk me home."

Kirk nodded. "All right." He had a vague feeing that there was something he was supposed to be doing, but whatever it was it couldn't be that important.

Kirk shook his head in an attempt to clear it as they made their way back to the main street. It was later than he had thought; no one was about but them and the silence was a little disconcerting after the noise of the bar. Absently he turned his eyes to the night sky, picking out the constellations with the ease of long practice. "Pretty stars."

He could hear the smile in Ilmari's voice as she replied. "So they are."

Kirk turned to smile back, only to lose his footing and stumble against her. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Must have had a few too many. Hear that, Bones? You were right." There was no reply. "Bones?" He tried to turn round to look for his friend, only for Ilmari to grip his arm.

"I think your friend's gone home."

Kirk frowned. "But he didn't say 'I told you so'. He always says it."

"Well, it looks like he decided to leave us in peace this time." Her fingers tightened round his bicep. "Wasn't that nice of him?"

"Very nice," Kirk agreed absently.

Except nice was not a word that Kirk would typically associate with McCoy. Brave, loyal, and compassionate to a fault, but nice? No. And he wouldn't let Kirk just go after the paranoia he had been displaying all evening.

Something was wrong here.

"Captain? Jim?"

Kirk closed his eyes, forcing away the fog that was threatening his senses. What was he doing? He knew better than to go off alone with a beautiful woman when he had responsibilities, even if she was the most beautiful, charming...

Kirk's hands clenched into fists. Ilmari was beautiful, yes, but no more so than any of the other women he had been attracted to. He shouldn't be reacting this strongly, even with all the alcohol he had drunk.

And where the hell was McCoy?

"Jim, what is it? Why don't you just come with me?"

Kirk felt a sudden irrational desire to do as she said, but this time he knew better than to listen. He untangled his arm from hers and stepped away. "I won't do that. Where is Dr. McCoy?"

Her eyes widened. "What are you saying, Jim? How should I know what happened to your friend?" There was nothing but hurt and confusion in her voice, but Kirk kept his eyes on Ilmari's.

So he saw the lie there.

"Jim, just tell me what's wrong?"

Kirk ignored her. His head still pounded violently and he was feeling increasingly queasy. The urge to listen, to obey, was still present too, ordering him to follow Ilmari's instructions with all his heart and soul.

Kirk had never been very good at following orders.

"Who are you?" he asked quietly. "What do you want with me?"

"Nothing! I just-"

"Answer the question!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

Ilmari didn't reply. Fear had replaced the affection in her face, and she was looking anywhere but at him. He opened his mouth to question her further, only to spin round again as footsteps sounded in the alley behind them. Approaching were the two Orions he had seen in the bar.

Orions.

Everything snapped into place. Why he had received so many free drinks. Why Ilmari had been so adamant she see him alone. What would have happened to him if she had. Bones had been right all alone.

Bones.

Horror was rapidly replaced by fury. He had been drugged and lied to, but that barely registered. McCoy had tried to warn him, and now something had happened to him. Kirk didn't know whether he was alive or dead, but he did know one thing. If Bones was injured in any way, Jim was going to make the people responsible burn.

"Please don't fight, Captain," said Ilmari quietly. "You can't stop this."

Kirk weighed his options. Two against one were usually perfectly acceptable odds, but his mind and vision were still fuzzy and he wasn't entirely confident in his ability to move without toppling over. The fact that both had phasers trained on him complicated matters somewhat too.

Kirk didn't care. These people had tried to capture him and done something to his best friend. His hands clenched into fists and he stepped forwards. They were going to pay.

Falling flat on his face was not supposed to be the next stage in the plan. There was a snort of laughter.

"Well, look at the great Captain Kirk now." The tone switched to a more businesslike one. "Stun him. Now."

Kirk struggled, but his limbs felt like duranium. Not even the knowledge of what awaited him could inspire any further movement, and it took all his strength to lift his head enough to meet Ilmari's gaze. If you're going to shoot me, shoot me," he rasped.

"Our pleasure," one of the Orions drawled.

Kirk slumped back to the ground. Spock would find him, he was certain of that, but being captured was so embarrassing. He heard the whine of phasers and braced himself for the rush of pain.

It never came.

"Captain, while convenient, the ground is not the most comfortable place of repose."

Kirk gave a huff of sheer relief. "Took your time, Spock," he slurred. He tried to raise himself up, only for a strong hand to push him back down.

"My apologies, Captain." There was a hiss of a hypo, and Kirk's nausea cleared enough for him to make out Spock and Security Chief Giotto bending over him.

"Thanks," he mumbled. He still felt awful, but at least he wouldn't fall over on the way to Sickbay. "How'd you even know I was in trouble?"

"You were out of our sight," said Giotto dryly.

"Hey!"

Spock's eyes glinted in a way Kirk had learned signalled amusement, even if his voice sounded nothing but professional. "Doctor McCoy informed us that you might require assistance before leaving the establishment – Captain!"

Kirk forced himself to a seated position, ignoring the way it made his head spin. "Need to find Bones."

Spock and Giotto exchanged a look. "We thought he was with you," said Giotto.

"He was," said Kirk quietly.

Giotto gripped his shoulder for a moment. "We'll find him." He stood up and began making his way back towards the bar, one hand on his phaser. Kirk staggered to his feet, suddenly very glad for Spock's hand at his elbow.

"He warned me," he mumbled. "He told me there might be trouble and I didn't listen."

Spock's grip tightened ever so slightly on his arm. "You are still under the influence of the drug, Captain. You were not to blame."

Kirk looked away, unable to meet his gaze. As he did so he caught sight of Ilmari lying on the floor near the Orions. Despite knowing everything she had done he couldn't help a twinge of remorse. Spock followed his gaze. "The planetary security forces are on their way."

"Good."

Spock glanced at him. "Captain-"

"Captain, over here!"

Kirk whirled round so fast he almost fell over. Giotto was waving at him from where he was crouched at the mouth of an alley. He felt a sudden rush of nausea, and was grateful when Spock steadied him again. "Come, Captain."

Kirk had expected something bad. Only that would have kept McCoy from coming after him. But the sight of Bones on the floor, his eyes closed and his face bone grey still left his head spinning until he was glad for Spock's reassuringly solid presence. McCoy wasn't supposed to be the one who got hurt. He was supposed to make snarky comments and stick Jim with hypos and tell him not to be an idiot. He wasn't supposed to get hurt because Jim was too arrogant to listen.

"Captain?"

Kirk pushed his guilt to one side, there would be time for that later. "How is he?"

Giotto looked up at him. "Blow to the back of his head, sir. Possible fractured skull, definite concussion." He traced the back of McCoy's head and bit his lip when his hand came away sticky with blood. "Sir, this really doesn't look good."

It took a moment for Kirk to get his vocal chords to work. "We'll transport back to the ship immediately. You stay here to coordinate with the security forces."

"Yes, sir."

Kirk knelt carefully next to McCoy to grip his friend's icy hand. "Spock, contact the Enterprise. Beam us back up." He was vaguely aware of Spock's hand coming to rest on his shoulder before the transporter beam took them away.

The next hour passed in a blur. Chapel and M'Benga were waiting with a pair of stretchers, which was fortunate as the stimulant Spock had given him wore off less than a minute after stepping off the transporter platform. Kirk wouldn't be at all surprised if his surprisingly devious First Officer had planned it that way. He was vaguely aware of being taken to Sickbay, and Spock standing watch by his bed while M'Benga flushed the remainder of the drug from his system. He might have thrown up a few times.

But when he did recover enough to think there was only one thing on his mind. "Bones?"

Spock said nothing, merely looked over to the next bed, and continued to say nothing while Kirk forced his way upright. His legs shook slightly, though from the after-effects of the drug or simple fear he couldn't tell, but he was able to lean on the bio-bed. He took a deep breath and looked down.

McCoy certainly looked better. He was still unconscious but he no longer looked like a living corpse and the bleeping of the monitor was reassuringly regular.

"Doctor M'Benga assures me that he will make a full recovery," said Spock quietly.

"Thank you, Spock," said Kirk. He took a deep breath. "How bad was it?"

"Captain-"

"I need to know."

Spock hesitated, but knew his commanding officer well enough not to try protesting further. "Severe concussion, sir. He was treated rapidly, and should regain consciousness within the next two hours."

Kirk could only nod. He gripped McCoy's hand and had to close his eyes at finding it no longer freezing. His mistake had not cost his best friend everything.

"Captain," said Spock. "I have analysed the traces of the drug found in your bloodstream."

Kirk reluctantly tore his gaze from McCoy's still face. "And?"

Spock clasped his hand behind back, switching unconsciously into report mode. "It acted on your judgement, reducing your inhibitions and making you more amenable to suggestion."

Kirk shivered. "You got that right." He shivered at the memory of how easy everything seemed before wrenching his mind away. "But how?"

"It seems to have been absorbed in aerosol form. Captain, do you recall any particularly strong odours? It is likely to have been pleasing to your senses."

Kirk closed his eyes for a moment. "Her perfume. She was standing right next to me." He frowned. "But why was I the only one affected?"

Spock seemed to shift slightly. "A drug in that form in such a crowded area would be inefficient. Too many people besides the intended target would be affected."

"So there must be an activating agent," Kirk finished. "Something only I came into contact with." The answer was obvious but he looked to Spock anyway. "My drinks?"

Spock nodded. "That is the most probable cause."

Kirk closed his eyes, white hot shame coursing through him. "He told me to be careful," he whispered.

"Captain?"

Kirk stared down at his friend's prone body. "Bones kept telling me to be more cautious, but I wouldn't listen. I thought no one could touch me." His grip on McCoy's hand tightened involuntarily. "I was an idiot."

"You were overconfident," Spock agreed.

Kirk shot him a sour look. "Thanks."

Spock's dark gaze softened almost imperceptibly. "You are human, Captain. To be human is to make mistakes."

"I am also a starship captain," Kirk shot back. "And starship captains can't afford to make mistakes."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Now you are simply being illogical." He hesitated a moment then rested a hand on Kirk's shoulder. "I can assure you, Jim, that Dr. McCoy will not hold you responsible for this evening's events."

"Damn right I won't."

"Bones!"

McCoy flinched. "C'n we not shout around the concussed person, please?"

With an effort Kirk wrenched his jubilation under control. "Sorry." He glanced at Spock. "You said he wouldn't wake up for a while."

"Don' blame him," McCoy mumbled. "Sedatives can be tricky." His eyes narrowed as they scanned Kirk's face. "You all right?"

Kirk attempted a smile. "That was gonna be my question."

"I asked first."

"I'm fine," said Kirk. "They got all the drug out of me." He looked down at his hands. "You were right, Bones. I'm sorry."

"'m always right," McCoy muttered. "An' it wasn' your fault."

Kirk stared at him. "How can you say that? If I hadn't been so stupid-"

"They'd have waited 'til we left and stunned the both of us," McCoy interrupted. "I think I'm okay with this way."

"Well, I'm not," said Kirk flatly. "You could have been killed."

"Stop bein' so melodramatic, will ya? These things happen, and beatin' yourself up isn' doing anyone any good." He paused for an enormous yawn before blinking blearily at Spock. "Tell him, will ya?"

"Doctor McCoy is quite correct," said Spock. "The Orions would have resorted to more drastic measures, and those measures would have likely resulted in greater harm to both yourself and Doctor McCoy. Moreover, it is illogical to continue to blame yourself when the injured party does not."

Kirk didn't reply. It might be melodramatic and illogical but he couldn't help himself. He had been careless. He hadn't thought about his crew, and he hadn't even considered the thought that people might see him as a target. It had been reckless and irresponsible. He had been drugged, McCoy had been injured, and that was them being lucky. It could have been so much worse.

He hadn't been prepared for this and he should have been. He didn't deserve to be captain.

"He's beatin' himself up 'gain, Spock," McCoy mumbled.

"He does have a tendency to do so, Doctor," Spock agreed. "No matter how misplaced such emotions might be."

Kirk glared at them. "I'm right here, you know."

McCoy raised an eyebrow. "So? You're clearly not listenin' to either of us."

"You're the ones who aren't listening," Kirk protested. "Don't you care that I almost got you killed?"

"Will ya stop sayin' that? Jim, it wasn't your fault." He pushed himself to one elbow, waving away Kirk's offer of help. "Don't fuss either." He fixed Kirk with a sharp look. "Now you listen to me, and don't give me all that bull about captains not making mistakes. You only human Jim, more than that, you're a young one. Of course you're gonna make mistakes; how else are you going to learn?"

"Mistakes aren't supposed to endanger my crew," Kirk muttered.

"Or maybe they're just the ones that'll stick the best," said McCoy gently. "Jim, this wasn't your fault. And if you keep sayin' otherwise I'll stick you with a hypo."

"You're in bed with a healing concussion."

"Then I'll get my Vulcan nurse to do it for me." He grinned up at Spock, who looked like he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"I have never entered the medical profession, nor do I have any intention of doing so, Doctor."

"Thank goodness for that," McCoy remarked. "I pity the patients who'd have to suffer what passes for your bedside manner."

"You do have plenty of experience with that situation, Doctor."

"Don't insult me until you've tried it, you pointy-eared hobgoblin."

"That's enough," said Kirk firmly, but he couldn't keep the smile from spreading across his face. Seeing McCoy sitting up and engrossed in the familiar banter had done much to settle his nerves. He caught the look that passed between the two of them, and guessed that the display had been for his benefit, but he couldn't bring himself to care. McCoy's hazel eyes twinkled as he looked up at Kirk.

"Feeling better then?"

Kirk looked sheepishly down at his hands. "Yeah." He took a deep breath and looked up. "I am sorry, Bones."

McCoy patted him on the knee. "I know. Just don't do it again."

"I won't," said Kirk quietly. This would not happen again.

McCoy gave a small smile. "Then for pity's sake stop worryin' about it."

Kirk opened his mouth to protest, but the gleam in the doctor's eyes warned against it. "I'll do my best."

"Good," McCoy grumbled. "Why do you always complicate things?"

Kirk gave a sheepish shrug but Spock's eyes narrowed. "Doctor, might I suggest you lie down? Grey is not a healthy colour for your countenance."

McCoy grimaced. "For once I agree with you." He lay back down, unable to suppress the wince that crossed his face as his head touched the pillow. Kirk hovered over him anxiously.

"You sure you're all right?"

"I'll be fine," McCoy mumbled. Sleep was evidently catching up on him, but he managed to focus one eye on Kirk. "Remember what I said. Don't beat yourself up."

"I know," said Kirk quietly. "I'm only human."

"'xactly." A ghost of a smile touched his lips. "See Spock doesn't have that excuse."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I would not need it."

"Yeah, yeah, Vulcans don't make mistakes."

"Precisely, Doctor."

"Oh shut up."

Kirk leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. It would take some time for him to stop blaming himself for what had happened. He couldn't help that. But knowing that neither of his best friends blamed him helped more than he had thought possible.

He would remember the experience. He would learn from it. And he would make sure that it never happened again.

Any feedback would be appreciated.