Defiance and Denial

Connie/Lucas

…

Harry Pearce sat behind his desk, staring at the email he'd just received. Part of him thought that perhaps it was an old email that had been buried deep within the computer systems, magically appearing after two years, but he knew even himself how silly that sounded. The knock at his door disturbed his thoughts, as he looked up to see Ruth standing in the doorway, a warm smile on her face.

"Are you still not finished yet, I thought we agreed, one more hour and then we were calling it a night?"

"Yes I know, sorry I…something came up."

"It's not me you have to explain too, it's that over excited little girl at home who looks forward to her daddy tucking her in at night."

Harry smiled back at her, watching as Ruth closed the door behind her and came over to his side.

"Harry, what's wrong…trouble?"

"I'm not sure, I just received this email."

Ruth leaned over Harry's shoulder to read the email, asking his to meet the recipient as soon as possible.

"Connie James, I thought she died?"

"Yes, so did I."

"Lucas and Ros…they saw her die?"

"They assumed she had, Connie's body was never recovered. The blast was…huge to say the least. She shouldn't have survived it."

"So this is what…someone's idea of a sick joke?"

"Something tells me no, the wording in this email, it sounds like Connie."

"Okay, so are you going to the meeting place?"

"I have to Ruth."

"Take someone with you?"

"It says come alone."

"I know what it says, but things are different now Harry. You have other responsibilities than just MI5, you have me and our daughter. You have to think about us too."

"This is still my job Ruth, look nothing with happen to me."

"You don't know that."

Harry could see Ruth was getting upset, as he got to his feet, his arms going around her waist as she looked him in the eyes.

"I knew we should have made our escape from this business when we have Grace." She stated.

"I'll be careful, I promise."

"You bloody better be Harry, because I'm not raising the new baby on my own."

"Look I…wait, new baby?"

"Yes, I was going to tell you tonight, but as we're her now…" She smiled.

Harry leaned in and kissed his wife, Ruth's arms going around his neck.

"Harry please…be careful."

"I will, I promise."

As Ruth stepped back, she ran a hand down Harry's face.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you too, I won't be back too late. I'll make sure I'm back to tug Gracie in."

"I'll see you at home."

Harry watched Ruth leave, before going in to his bottom drawer and brining out his handgun.

…

Harry stood by the railings under Waterloo Bridge, the night wind cold on his neck. His hands in his pockets, he heard the soft footsteps behind him, causing his hand to close tightly around the handgun in his pocket.

"Hello Harry."

Harry froze when he heard the all too familiar voice behind him, turning around to see that indeed Connie James, traitor and murderer was indeed still very much alive.

"Oh my god, so it is true." He stated.

Connie walked towards him, noticing his hand in his right pocket.

"I'm not here to kill you Harry." She said as she approached him.

"Then why, what do you want Connie. After two years you decide to come back, why?"

"What can I say, I missed the place."

"You missed the country you betrayed?"

"We all make mistakes Harry, god knows you've made more than enough in your lifetime."

"I've never betrayed my country."

Harry watched her closely as Connie leaned on the railing under the bridge.

"I was in two minds whether or not to come back or not, how dangerous it would be for me."

"You should have stayed away, we all thought you were dead, you were safe, free with us thinking that. Coming back, you've just put a target on your back."

Connie straightened up and turned to Harry, a sad look in her eyes.

"I'm tired Harry, tired or running, of hiding and being lonely. I'd rather pay for what I did, even if that means dying for it."

"I don't know what you want me to do?"

"How's Lucas?"

"He's moved on, we all have."

"I heard you and Ruth got married…finally." She smiled.

"We have a daughter, Grace."

"I'm happy for you Harry, you got what you always wanted."

"Connie, Lucas told me what you told him in the tunnel. That you were the one who had betrayed him. Why did you do that?"

"I thought I was going to die, why let him hate you when he already hated me, it was easier to blame me."

"It was a lie…"

"He doesn't need to know that."

"He looked up to you Connie, he cared about you."

"I know, and I hurt him, for which I will forever regret."

"How do you think he's going to react when he finds out you're alive."

"I don't know."

"But you want him to know, you want them all to know?"

"Yes, Ros, Jo, Malcolm…and Lucas."

"Connie…Jo's dead."

Connie's head shot up at Harry's words, her voice breaking when she spoke.

"What…what happened to her?"

"This job, like everything else."

"Poor child, she deserved more than that."

"Malcolm, he retired."

"He retired, I never thought he'd do that. I always imagined him taking his last breath in that place."

"We all did, but after what happened to you, to Jo…it got too much for him."

"Lucas and Ros are still there though?"

"Yes."

"I want back in Harry?"

"Connie no…"

"I need to make amends for everything I did back then."

"You can't bring Ben back."

"I know, and that will always haunt me."

"I don't know how the hell you expect me to give you the green light to come back."

"Talk to the Home Secretary, I'll pay whatever price I have too for Ben and my betrayal but I need to come back Harry, please. I need to make things right, with you, with Ros…and more importantly with Lucas?"

"I can't promise anything?"

"Just try your best."

"Where are you staying?"

"The old safe house in the country, it's a bit run down but it will do."

"I'll be in touch."

"Thank you Harry."

Harry could only nod as he watched her walk away, leaving him alone under the bridge as the rain began.

…

To Be Continued…