Disclaimer: We do not own twilight. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated or affiliated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended

"I Just Came to Say Goodbye"

a Fireheart story

CHAPTER SEVEN

BPOV

With a heavy sigh, I stared up at the ceiling, watching the fan blades go around and around again, the chain clinking off the glass light cover. The tinkling sound was of no particular pattern or rhythm but it relaxed me while I laid against the fluffy bedding. My bare feet smoothed against the soft silkiness of the sheets, chilly enough to keep me under the blankets. Laying in the coziness of my own bed early in the morning was the best time for me to clear my head. The window was only open a crack, barely enough so I could listen to the raindrops fall heavy against the windowsill. The linen curtains flowed in on the fantom breeze that slipped through the small space. The sky was gray, a blanket of fog over the city underneath a constant cover of clouds. It was the perfect day to spend in my pajamas, lazily lounging on the couch with a book, but unfortunately, I knew I had to leave the comfort of my bed and start my day.

My mind was on autopilot. I replayed everything that had transpired over the last few days. It kept repeating behind my eyes like a looped movie reel. Seeing Mase and Riley fight was overwhelming, to say the least.

When I close my eyes, I see all of the things that led up to that moment. At the restaurant, Mase was so close. He was practically pinning me against a wall, and truth be told, I was perfectly content to be there with him. Seeing how mad Mase was with Riley, it wasn't exactly surprising. He was always protective, especially with me, but it was so much more than his aggravation with Riley. It was obvious that he meant what he said when he asked me to stay. He asked me not to leave with Riley, but I did anyway. It wasn't to hurt him, or embarass him, I would never do that. I was scared. Terrified, actually, because I knew that if I didn't get Riley out of there, Mase would have hurt him. It would have ended badly either way, but Mase could've lost his job for being involved in a drunken street fight. I could never forgive myself if that happened because of me.

I think that on some level, I knew I could never truly walk away from Mase. Not without answers, so even after I agreed to get Riley out of there, I didn't simply walk back to Mase, I ran. I ran through the streets and caught up to him before he could duck inside the fire house. I didn't intend for my approach to be so drastic, it just worked out that way. I guess the heat of the moment had this shameless buildup inside me and it needed an escape of epic proportions.

When I caught up to him, I couldn't get the words out. I had so much I wanted to say, things that I had been waiting what felt like forever to say to him, but the look in his eyes told me that he already knew. I could feel what he felt and I knew, he was just as miserable as I had been without him. My own body betrayed me when he pressed his lips to mine. I wanted him to earn it, not take it, but I realized he didn't have to take anything from me because I had given it to him willingly all those years ago. I never took my heart back, it's always been his.

When I ran from him, it wasn't regret. It was my emotions getting the better of me. I used Riley as an excuse to leave but I knew in my heart that it was a lie. My loyalties would never lie with Riley. I would always choose Mase and I think even after all this time, he still knows that.

That night, I cried myself to sleep for what felt like the thousandth time and I wished Mase was here to sing one of those songs he used to play. I didn't know how everything could come full circle so fast, but I found myself on some kind of Mase induced hampster wheel of emotions, doing everything I could to just figure it out.

A few months ago, my life was boring; repetitive to the point of exhaustion. Now I was at the epicenter of catastrophe, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I could come up with at least a dozen metaphors for what that meant but my emotional trauma was staring me in the face. More like my subconscious was flashing a neon sign for me to run as far as I possibly could. My heart remembers the pain and emotional devastation of Edward Masen. The logical part of my mind wanted me to ignore all of it and keep moving forward, but the other part? Not really in agreement. The rest of me, mind, body and soul, wanted to run back to Mase and beg him to stay. The back and forth emotional time bomb was ready to detonate and I knew what I needed. I needed to pace back and forth and vent it all out in order for my mind to make sense. There was only one person I could do that with and she was still laid out in a hospital bed at St. Vincent's.

The first week Rosalie was in the hospital, I sat with her every night. By the second week, I was able to sneak in some chinese food for her while we watched some netflix on the flat screen of her room. The first couple days, Rosalie mostly just slept while I cried and arranged all the flowers in her room, but by now, she was anxious to be released and so were the rest of us. I was thinking about having a small 'welcome home' get together at the studio for her but I knew that if I did, Mase would be there. Mase was actually the only one who hadn't visited Rose in the hospital. He did send a couple bouquets of flowers and well wishes though. I knew he was keeping his distance in respects to me and I was grateful. It gave me some time to think. I did however, get to spend a little bit of time with Jasper the last couple of days, which was something I had avidly avoided the last few months. I have absolutely nothing against Jasper. I think he's a great guy and he was always one of my closest friends. It's just that being around him when Mase left, it started to turn into some form of resentment that was misdirected onto him. He was a constant reminder of Mase and all the memories we had as a group. Wherever Jasper went, Mase was always right there next to him. They've been best friends since they were old enough to play T-ball.

In the beginning, I spent a lot of time alone with Jasper. He would come visit me or bring me dinner. Some nights, he would just sit with me and let me cry until I had no tears left to shed. Jasper never pushed me to talk about it, what happened with Mase. He knew it destroyed me to lose him and even though Jasper was his best friend, he was still there for me. I can remember a few dance recitals that I had no choice but to be a part of, commitments I had made long before everything happened. Jasper was there. Front row, right next to Rosalie, holding flowers in his hands and dressed in his best suit. He looked out for me, he cared about my day and how I was doing on a regular basis.

Over time, my breakdowns became less heart shattering, less overwhelming and less time consuming. I still cry over Mase, to this day, but it got a little easier to hide after a while. Eventually, I started relying on Jasper less. I started making excuses to get out of spending time with him. Our daily visits became weekly, then monthly, and finally, I stopped seeing him altogether. He never did anything wrong, he definitely didn't do anything to deserve me abandoning him as a friend. Jasper was just a constant reminder of who was missing in my life. To look at Jasper, it meant that Mase was gone. It redefined his presence and I couldn't handle that. So, instead of admitting that to him, I just faded myself out. Of everything.

I knew that I needed to have more than a casual conversation with Jasper. I told myself that as soon as Rosalie was home from the hospital, I would do exactly that. My friend deserves the truth and an explanation of my behavior over the last year or so. I hoped he would forgive me for it, and I know that just because Mase is home now, it doesn't excuse the way I've acted. I need him to listen even if it's just for a few minutes.

It was exhausting to think about all the things I needed to get off my chest. The list seems to be growing by the day. I've been at the point of anxiety, constantly worrying, thinking and replaying that damn fight in my head over and over again. There have been plenty of times that I've seen Mase confrontational, but I've never seen Riley that way. He seemed different, a shift in the light I saw him in. Part of the reason I liked spending time with Riley was because he was Mase's polar opposite in every way imaginable. I liked that he never reminded me of Mase. I liked that he was quiet and did his own thing. I spent enough time lost in my head, I didn't want to do that when Riley was around too. He was meant to be a distraction, a friend. When he became more, I felt the shift but I thought maybe it would help me if I started to move on. It was a mistake.

The plan was to take a couple days to myself, clear my head and process everything without the influential haze I found myself in when I looked at Mase. He was just as perfect as he always was. The last six years have been good to him. Too good, in fact it was so good that I've dreamt of his perfectly sculpted body hovering above mine at least three times in the last week. It was so easy to lose myself in him. His eyes when he looked at me or his scent, something I've craved every single day since he left but have never forgotten even for a moment. I found my fingers brushing against my lips, reliving the exact moment his mouth touched mine. The kiss was burned into my memory forever. Every brush of his lips, even the memory of it had my belly tightening with a familiar heat. His breath when he whispered my name. The warmth of his mouth was inviting as the sensation traveled down my body, my spine arching against the strength of his arms. Even through the sting of the icy rain, I was perfectly content in his hold.

One kiss and it was everything I wanted since the day I lost him. All the sadness and anguish I felt was erased so thoroughly that it terrified me. No person should ever have that kind of power or control over your entire soul, but here I was. So many moons later, one little kiss and I was still completely owned by Edward Masen. It was a low roll of thunder in the distance that brought me back to the present, suddenly less warm and cozy than I had been just a moment ago.

Mentally rolling my eyes at myself, I focused my attention on the raindrop speckled window. I geared my thoughts in another direction. I knew I was going to have a chance to sit down and talk to Jaser. I also knew that I would have plenty of time to bring Rosalie up to speed but I wasn't ready to do any of that today. As much as I had to sort through, I knew at least one thing was for certain. I had to end things with Riley.

I was still so angry at him. It was the fact that no matter how many times we talked about it, Riley still felt the need to label himself as a constant. He stole a title for himself that I wasn't willing to give. In the back of my mind, I knew it was a male thing. Riley had done it because he felt threatened by Mase. Maybe in the heat of the moment, he wanted to stake some kind of manly claim. He knew how I felt and he crossed a major line with me. Part of me felt that it was a justifiable offense to break things off. The other part of me, the part that was waiting for Mase, knew it was an excuse to jump on because I was never really invested in whatever that almost-relationship was anyway. I keep finding myself suffocated by the weight of my problems and as much as I would like to forget about all of them for a little while, I can't. So I decided to get up, get dressed and do something about it.

My apartment filled with the sounds of classical piano, something I haven't attempted to listen to in far too long. I twirled around my bathroom while I brushed my teeth and put a little perfume on. My bare feet padded across the hard wood floors while I searched for the softest black leggings I could find. I found an old white long sleeved, cotton tee shirt that hung off one shoulder and my favorite all black sneakers. I considered adding a classic ballet wrap skirt to the ensemble but opted to pack it for later. My hair was left down, long waves falling down my back before I pulled it to one side. By the time the second song ended, I was surprisingly ready ahead of schedule. I had about two hours before I had to be at the studio so I decided I may as well check one thing off the list to get it over with. Pulling out my phone, I sent a text to Riley but I should've known better because the moment I hit the send button, my phone rang with a call from him.

"Hey." My voice was timid, but I guess it always was these days. Before I could even say why I wanted to meet, his words were coming through the speaker a mile a minute. Too fast for me to try and decipher what he was trying to say.

"Bella, I'm so sorry for acting like such a jerk. I know I was an asshole and I had no right…" More things came out but I could only catch bits and pieces of his words. There may have been something about Mase, which I chose not to acknowledge.

"Riley, I know. Can we meet somewhere and talk?" My voice was hesitant, not knowing exactly what to say or even how to say it, but it still wasn't as hesitant as his reply. Another moment passed and I wasn't entirely sure that he had even heard me. I was about to repeat my question when his softer tone came through the other end of the phone, breaking through the silence of the awkward moment between us.

"Of course, Bella. You want me to come over? I can walk you to work." I heard the way his voice lowered and his anxious demeanor had suddenly fallen to a defeated sigh. Riley knew what I wanted to talk about, he knew this was coming before I had even called, I realized. I didn't want to hurt him and to be honest, this was the very reason I had avoided relationships altogether. I knew long ago that I would never be able to return those kinds of feelings to anyone other than Mase. There was a soft sigh on the other end of the line and in that moment, I felt guilty. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. My voice was softer when I spoke this time.

"Yeah, I'd like that." I could practically see his nod through the phone when he cleared his throat.

"I'll see you in fifteen." I breathed my acknowledgment and felt a sudden wave of nerves barrel though me. I still had no idea what I planned to say but I knew I had to make myself perfectly clear in my intentions. I don't want to lose Riley as a friend and I hope that he will feel the same way.

I grabbed everything I needed and tossed them into my ballet duffle before I finished off my morning coffee. I still felt nervous even though I had plenty of these kinds of talks with Riley before. He knew going into this where I stood on the whole labeling thing. I never wanted to be his girlfriend. I never asked him for anything more than companionship even though he seemed more than happy to offer it. The few nights we've shared his bed, I knew that it meant more to him than it did to me. Riley promised me that he was okay with that.

With a heavy sigh, I slipped my vintage pink jacket on and slung the strap of my duffle bag over my shoulder just in time for the hesitant knock at the door. I didn't bother to look myself over in the floor length mirror next to the door. I just pushed my hair out of my face and pulled it open. My cheeks instantly tinged a shade of pink as Riley stood there, holding out a cup of coffee with my name scrawled on the cup in black ink.

"Moring, Beautiful." His voice was low, lacking the usual confident demeanor I was used to. There was something else there, something I hadn't seen in him before. Maybe it was my imagination but he seemed timid. In the months that I had known Riley, I never would've used the word timid to describe him,. It just didn't fit. He wasn't cocky, just confident. I always liked that about him. He knows who he is and he doesn't need to to be anything else. It's admirable. I noticed he avoided my eyes at first, but when he looked up at me, finally, it was then that I saw it. Sadness.

"Good morning. Thanks… for the coffee. Shall we?" I nodded for the hallway as I stood in the doorway to my apartment, watching Riley as he took a step back so I could come out and lock the door behind me. With a nod of his head and a wave of his hand, he motioned for me to lead the way.

"Let me get your bag." Again, hesitant; unfamiliar though we've spent plenty of time together. A shake of my head and a shy smile had him looking down at his feet once more. I hadn't even started the conversation yet and I already felt terrible.

"It's okay, I've got it." I tossed my keys into one of the front pockets of my bag and sipped from the steaming paper cup. His eyes seemed afraid to linger on mine as I pulled my brows together and started down the hall. The walk to the elevator was quiet, and then awkward as we stood next to each other. No words were spoken from either of us. The silence was deafening if not maddening. He looked like he was about to start the conversation a few times, but he never found the words he was searching for. By the time the doors opened to the lobby, the crease of Riley's brow was permanently pulled together.

Unable to take the silence for another moment, I opened my mouth to speak but apparently Riley had the same notion. At the same time, words escaped our lips, neither of which were actually heard by the other. An embarrassed laugh escaped me as I motioned for him to go first.

"Bella, I know I fucked up and I'm sorry, and I think I know why you want to talk but before you make up your mind, I just need you to hear me out. Please?" The doorman held the door for us and we stepped out into the rainy morning, gray with a rolling rumble of thunder closeby. Spring weather was just around the corner but I knew the rainy days would linger for at least another month, not that I minded.

"Riley…" My eyes didn't meet his but before I could say anything, his hand reached out to catch my wrist, pulling my attention toward him as we stopped on the street, his face almost desperate as he pleaded with his eyes. All I could offer was a slight nod, my lips pressed into a thin line. Not a smile, but not a grimace either. Maybe it was pity and I felt all the more guilty for it.

"I get it, Bells, I do. I may not know exactly what we are but what I do kno, is that I don't want to lose you. Whatever this is between us, it's been good. I know I'm not your boyfriend and I don't know why I said that." He paused, a slight nod of his head told me he had been preparing his thoughts. "No, I do know why." I watched him as he ran a hand through his hair, frustration clear in his actions. I didn't say anything but I made eye contact to let him know I was listening as we walked slowly towards the direction of my studio. The rain was light enough that we didn't need an umbrella, just the hoods from our jackets and I was grateful for the veil as I walked at his side.

"I knew it was him. The night of the fire, when I found you screaming and crying. I knew it was him. I didn't need to ask any questions because you were more alive than I had ever seen you. I knew he was back and I got scared. I was jealous and stupid. When I saw him at the funeral, I just wanted to hate him. I know what he did to you, how he left you and broke your heart. Bella, I hate the guy for it. You can't blame me for that, can you?" I met his eyes and his brow was raised, hesitance in his stance but the judgment was there. He may have had some preconceived notion about Mase, but he didn't know him and he didn't really know me for that matter. I swallowed down the lump in my throat, shook my head and put a hand out as I nipped at the assumption before it turned into an argument.

"Riley, you don't know. You know what I've told you, and believe me, it wasn't much. Mase left, yes. I know that but you don't know anything about him, our relationship or…" With an unamused laugh, Riley interrupted me and all I could do was shoot him an incredulous look while he looked down the street instead of at me.

"Your relationship." Another breathy laugh. I narrowed my eyes but didn't have the chance to interject before he started again. "Your relationship or the relationship you used to have?" I hadn't even realized I said it. I kept my brows furrowed as he continued. "You're right. I don't know everything that happened. I know that you and I are having a good time together even though you keep me at arms length. I know the things that trigger you. I do pay attention, Bells. You lose yourself in your own mind whenever there's piano music in a restaurant somewhere. You look right through me when I tell you that you're beautiful. You cringe when you hear the siren of a firetruck and you can't watch movies about romance. You stiffen up when I drink whiskey but you drink wine regularly. You won't hold my hand and you won't let me kiss you unless we're in private. I've always been good with it, but I'm willing to bet all of those things are because of him." He took a moment and cleared his throat but the emotion was there, evident on his face in the way he looked at me.

"Riley... What I went through, it changed me." I couldn't find the right words, they wouldn't come though I desperately needed to offer some kind of explanation. Our steps slowed even more as we walked together down the busy city streets, ignoring he brisk air and the sound of the raindrops against our hooded heads. Riley shook his head as he moved to grab my hand, trying to lace his fingers with mine. I stared down at our hands, intertwined as if we were a couple. That familiar feeling of being suffocated rose in my chest and I pulled my hand away, afraid to meet his eyes but Riley said nothing. He just stared down at me and offered a sad smile almost as if he didn't want to be right. I could feel the tears threatening but kept them at bay.

"I get it. I really do, I just wish you would give me a chance. I may not know everything but I want to. I have feelings for you, Bells. Genuine feelings and I know you don't feel the same way about me. It's okay, I just think that if you gave us a chance, you might feel something more eventually. You trust me enough to share a bed with me but you don't trust me enough to let me into your head. That's because of him, Bella. He crushed you and it stayed with you. I promise you, I would never do that to you. I'll never hurt you the way that he did. Let me show you the way you deserve to be treated. We can go as slow as you want, no labels. Please, just consider it?"

I had no words. I stood there, mouth open, tears ready to spill and my heart pounding in my chest. I stared up at the man I had come to believe was a little more than a friend but not exactly a boyfriend. He was right about a lot of it, but not everything. He may have noticed more than I realized but it was still only a fraction of the story. If I were to let this go on any longer, I'd lose my nerve. I knew what I had to do and it wasn't for Mase, it was for me.

"I can't." My steps paused as did my words. He stopped in his tracks and noticed the tears in my eyes. He took a step closer to me, his eyes full of worry. "It's not fair to you to be involved this way when I know that I'll never be able to return your feelings." I sucked in a breath to steady myself. I didn't want to hurt him, but I had to say the words.

"Because you can't or because you don't want to?" I knew the answer. So did he. I stared up at him, not saying a word as a single tear finally fell. Riley looked away and shook his head, clearing his own thoughts.

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you but I don't want to lose you either. We were friends before, we could be again. Just because things would be different doesn't mean we have to stop seeing each other altogether. Does it?" I knew what I was asking and maybe it wasn't fair to him but it had to be better than cutting ties forever. The crease in his brows seemed to deepen, his eyes weary.

"Just friends?" There was another shake of his head and just when I thought he might walk away, Riley closed the distance between us, his hands circling my waist as he pulled me flush against him. My surprise was evident when my hands flew to brace myself against his arms, steadying my feet. "How can I be your friend after this? Fuck… Tell me you feel nothing." Familiar words jolted me like a lightning bolt. Riley mistook my reaction as encouragement and crushed his lips to mine. I felt his arms wrap around me tighter, he didn't want to let me go. I blocked out the image of Mase saying those exact words to me only a few days before. I closed my eyes and let Riley kiss me. I let him hold me and I just felt him. I let his kiss linger and I let his embrace warm me. I considered how it made me feel. There was nothing. There never was. Riley was a distraction. He was a way for me to start to move on with my life but I knew I didn't have feelings for him then and I certainly didn't have them now. I just needed to be sure. Now that I put effort into feeling his lips on mine, I was certain.

When Riley pulled away, his eyes opened before mine did, his gaze searching, studying and even hoping as I licked my lips and sunk back down to my own height. My gaze fell before my arms did, his grip on me loosening as his brows pulled together, an accepting nod as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Riley, I'm so sorry." It was barely a whisper but he heard it. When his eyes met mine again, I was more than surprised to see his tears. My lips parted, but nothing came out. I was stunned.

"So, that's it then. Friends." He huffed a laugh but his brows remained tight, his demeanor changed before my eyes. I nodded and hugged my coffee cup to my chest, the warmth barely there anymore as we stood facing each other, only a few blocks from my studio. I didn't expect Riley to continue to walk with me, so I knew this was our goodbye.

"Friends." I tried my best to sound sympathetic but I still felt awful for hurting his feelings and it was evident in my voice. Riley's eyes lingered on me for a moment before he nodded and offered a smile that never reached his eyes.

"Friends can hang out and have coffee sometimes, right? Maybe we can still do that." He looked hopeful but defeated. I meant it when I agreed.

"I would love that." He seemed to stiffen at my words but stayed quiet, solemn as the rain picked up. The breeze seemed to change direction and so did our conversation. With an awkward hug, Riley pressed a kiss to the top of my head and pulled away, his eyes avoiding mine.

"I'll see ya, Bells." A smile, a weak nod of his head and Riley was turning to walk away but before he got more than a few feet into the crosswalk, he turned back one more time. "You know, he doesn't deserve you." The sadness in his eyes transformed into acceptance. With a half shrug, he pulled his hood back up and turned away again. I blinked back my tears and swallowed down my emotions. Before I could say anything, Riley was gone.

My mind was on autopilot while I walked the last couple blocks to my studio. My emotions running high as I replayed everything that just happened with Riley. There are always those moments that we replay and wish we had said other things, something different to maybe change the outcome. I didn't exactly want another outcome as much as I wished I could have been more gentle or less blunt about my feelings. The truth may very well set us free, but I wasn't feeling any better about it.

I stood across the street from my studio, watching the traffic lights reflect off the puddle soaked blacktop. Some things in life are hard to decipher for whatever reason. Things happen in some order of events that we have no control over. Is fate a real thing? Or do we hope for something so much that when it shows up, we take it as a sign? Well, I can't say either way but I think that maybe even if there were ever some plan for us, we still have to put the work in. We may have some help or guidance along the way, but if we don't follow the advice of the signs left in or own paths, we may as well live life with our eyes closed. I don't know what made it click into my head or my heart, but suddenly, I was sick and tired of simply existing. I want to live my life, not just get through it. I want excitement and adventure. I want laughter and music. I want to dance again. I want love. I don't want to settle for someone or something just so I won't be so lonely. I want passion again. There was only one way for me to have all of those things. It's always been Mase.

It's funny how your mind plans things out for you without even realizing it. Before I had any indication that my feet were moving, I was already halfway down the block. I was headed in the opposite direction of my studio. If I was being completely honest with myself, I knew there was no way that Mase and I would magically make everything right, I knew it would take time, but I wanted to try.

I told myself I would make him work for it, he had to earn it. We both did. But in that moment of clarity, I found myself overwhelmed with the desire to at least tell him that I was open to the idea of us. I didn't say a word to him since that night and I had no idea if I was too late. I may even be out of line, but I had to tell him that no matter how crazy things are, I want him here. With me. In any way he'll allow me to be. I didn't plan out what I wanted to say or how to say it, but I knew that when I saw his eyes, I would know. If he wants to be just friends until we can get to that comfortable place, I would take it because it's better than nothing. I spent way too long pushing people away. I've always refused to admit how lonely I was, but seeing how hurt Riley was to lose me made me realize that pain doesn't last for forever.

I was punishing myself for losing Mase, but it was such a long time ago. It hit me like a truck. The thought that sparked my mind into overdrive. He's home but I was still wasting time overthinking when I knew exactly what I wanted. My feet started moving faster.

When his building came into view, I saw that familiar corner of glass and smiled to myself. I saw that the lights were on and I felt so warm inside, something I hadn't felt in such a long time. For as long as I can remember, I've been completely dead inside and now, at the thought of talking to Mase, I have hope. I'm nervous but I like that I'm nervous. I like that I can feel something. I dropped my hood and stared up at his living room window, hoping I would be able to catch a glimpse of Mase, see what he was doing, but he wasn't in view. I crossed the street as quickly as my soaking wet sneakers would take me and made my way into the building. I smiled at the familiar surroundings. I missed this place, I missed it every day.

Ducking through the lobby, I made my way to the elevators, quickly closing the doors before anyone could jump in and slow me down. I tried to stop smiling but I couldn't, I was filled with excitement. It felt so good to finally feel it; hope. There were so many possibilities just from having a simple conversation with Mase. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering at an uncontrollable rate. I knew my cheeks were pink, not only from my nerves but also from the cold. I smoothed a hand through my long waves and pulled it to one side as the elevator doors opened.

I faced his door and took a deep breath, whispering to myself for a little encouragement. Don't be a coward. My fist knocked against the door twice and I waited as calmly as I could. On the inside, I was bouncing and beaming, nervous and a dozen other things. My smile was wide, and as the door started to pull open, I had to stop myself from barreling through it just to get inside faster.

One heartbeat.

One breath.

One moment.

That's how fast my entire world came down to slap me back into reality. The smile that I wouldn't have dreamt of forcing into submission, was gone. My otherworldly excitement transformed into nausea and the happy warmth I felt low in my belly seemed to flip flop into embarrassment.

"Hi there, can I help you?" She had a low toned voice. The kind leading actresses used in those cocktail, lounge singer movies. Sultry. Unfortunately, the term suited her perfectly. I noticed as I took in her appearance. Her hair was a brilliant blonde, curled and twirled in all the right places. Her makeup looked professional and her dress fit her like a glove. It was a deep shade of red, to match her lips. Her long stemmed legs looked dainty as she leaned her hip against the doorway. My stomach sank.

"Um, no. It's fine, I'm sorry to disturb you. I thought Mase was…" I shook my head, taking a step back as I heard a shuffle behind her.

"Edward? He's home, who can I say is here?" Her voice feigned friendliness but I knew the type. It was snarky condescension and her eyes raked over my full appearance before she even looked over her shoulder towards wherever Mase was.

My nerves got the better of me and I knew if I looked into Mase's eyes, my emotions would come flooding to the surface and I would be the train wreck he probably expected me to be. I couldn't let him see me with my heart in my throat. I started moving away from the door, barely glancing back at the mystery blonde as I subtly wiped at my eyes and headed straight for the elevator.

"What's going on?" Mase. There were words I didn't hear but Mase got louder as he got more agitated with the blonde.

"Some brunette, I don't know. She knocked but she didn't say anything. She just left." The blonde was closing the door as I slammed my fingers against the elevator button, praying for the doors to open before Mase could see me.

"Lauren, fuck! Why would you let her leave?" He sounded angry. His apartment door opened and my heart beat faster. My fingers kept pressing the button and finally, the chime of the elevator pinged. As I turned my head, I caught a glimpse of Mase pushing passed the blonde and locking eyes with me, only long enough for him to see the tears there.

"Bella." It was a plea but he looked confused. I ducked into the elevator and pressed the button for the doors to close, barely holding myself together as I backed against the wall. The last thing I saw as they closed was Mase slapping his hands against the elevator door, yelling my name as the doors locked him out. My eyes closed, I loosed a breath and the tears finally spilled. I had hyped myself up so much for the opportunity of a second chance. A chance at happiness. I didn't think it through, I should have. I wasn't expecting another woman to open his door. I wasn't expecting Mase to have someone... Maybe I was too late.

A/N: Thank you for all being so patient. I know this was a long awaited chapter. I've been crazy busy lately but now I can finally get back into the swing of things with a normal schedule. This story will update more regularly now. So tell me what you think! Why was Lauren answering the door? Scandalous. Leave me your thoughts, questions and predictions! Next chapter goes back to Mase!

xoxo

~ Fireheart