Disclaimer – I own nothing.

A.N – Hello Folks! So, I know if you follow any of my other stories you probably think I'm a lunatic for starting a new one, but this plot bunny just wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it out. I know it's been done before, a gazillion times, but I thought I'd throw my two cents into the ring. I've got an outline, so there's a method to my madness as you read, I swear! Sidenote: This story will be 100% Jacob POV from beginning to end. Anywho, I can't guarantee how often I'll be updating, but hopefully you'll enjoy the ride.

/They say heavy is the head that wears the crown

Always used to think that that was just a damn excuse

Something that the weak say cause they couldn't hold it down

But now that I wear it, I know that shit to be true—no complaining now/

-Heavy, Jussie Smollett

Chapter 1 – The Howls That Carried the Rain

Fuck, it hurt.

It all hurt. Every inch of my body felt like it was stretching, and pulling—tugging against my skin so much it burned.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

I tried to calm myself, tried to breathe like those pregnant women in labor do on tv, but it didn't work. It—fuck, please, I can't

But suddenly, I couldn't hear anything, feel anything, see anything. It was like my body didn't understand it belonged to me for a second. Then, without warning, my heart beat pulsed like a drum made for war, and I could hear everything, feel everything, see everything so goddamned clearly that I couldn't breathe.

What the fuck?

Jake? Jake, calm down.

That voice—I knew that voice. I knew that voice, but I couldn't focus on it, because there were other voices overlapping, crossing each other and my own. It was a kind of chaos that made me want to sink and crawl into a ball on the floor; it was a kind of chaos that made me want to rage and revel in the feeling of anarchy—pack—that engulfed me.

What the holy fuck?

Someone get Sam!

There were howls in the night, but they weren't separate from me. Those howls were a part of me, and brought something inside of me alive.

Everyone quiet—Sam's voice broke through the chaos.

I knew it was him, instinctively, and I snarled. I wanted to pause, to take a breath, but his voice rubbed me the wrong way. The tenor of his voice set me on edge, and I wanted to bite, claw, destroy.

Breathe, Jacob.

What's happening? I asked, pushing through the wall inside of me that wanted to be silent, confusion and unease making me restless.

I walked around the backyard of my house—the colors were vivid in a way I'd never noticed before. My red house had always seemed so faded, missing a life to it that prettier houses, well-kept houses, houses with a mother to care for it, always seemed to have. But now I saw all the intricacies in my house that I never saw before. It wasn't simply a faded red, but bright in spots, and darker in others. It surrounded me on all sides in ways it had never done before, and I yearned for something I couldn't explain.

You've joined us—finally. Sam responded, but the silence was a bit suffocating after so much noise.

What do you mean? I tried to concentrate but there was too much silence. I knew we weren't alone, but what happened to all of the voices? Why was there so much silence? What the—

The legends, they're all true. Sam's voice was steady, almost soothing, if only it didn't grate at me. We're protectors. We protect against—

The Cullens, I said thoughtlessly. It was like there was a knowing deep inside of me, threatening to overpower me. I needed peace; I needed Bella.

No, Jacob, Sam commanded me sharply. I could feel the hair on my entire body raise slightly, itching to attack. You can't see Bella. You need to learn control—

It was too much. The tenor in his voice went too deep, and the ache in my chest exploded. You don't command me.

Jacob, Sam said warily, as he finally reached me in the backyard. I hadn't noticed the way the sights of everyone in my head had been converging until they surrounded me. Sam continued, I'm telling you that you can't—

You don't ever command me, I exploded, and my body burned and stretched even further. It hurt so much that I almost buckled, and I wanted to stop myself, but I couldn't. I wasn't born to obey. I wasn't fucking born to obey ever, and I lunged for Sam's throat despite the pain with an instinct that clearly struck everyone immobile.

Stop, Jacob—stop Sam ordered me as he fought back, but there was a strange euphoric sensation that overwhelmed me as I gave in to the instinct. I couldn't stop for all the diamonds and gold in the world.

Blood pooled beneath us, sunken into the earth, as we battled each other and a distinct instinct inside of us.

Submit, I tried to tear myself away from the imperative that wanted me to strike one more time. Just one more attack, and he'd be down for good. One more bite and Sam Uley would never try to give me orders again, but this was too much. We'd gone too far.

Submit, I demanded, and the tenor in my voice seemed to have practically shaken the ground as everyone else submitted—bodies low, bellies touching the floor, neck exposed.

Finally, Sam let his body fall, and exposed his neck. It was strange as fuck, but it felt right. I felt vindicated, and it was as if a cord between Sam and the rest of the pack broke, readjusted. Suddenly his order was lifted and a cacophony of voices filtered around me.

What the fuck?

Shit.

Damn, dude—is he okay?

I didn't know what just happened, and yet I knew exactly what had just happened. Everything inside of me told me that I'd just taken something from Sam—something I didn't want. Not really.

But, fuck, it had all just come at me so fast, too fast.

It was still coming at me too quickly to truly process, to truly think about instead of simply reacting on instinct.

Calm down, I took a deep breath, and everyone seemed to inhale with me. We were one, pack. I walked over to Sam and licked at the gaping wound at the junction between his neck and shoulder. He whined, and I felt like such a fucking dick. I did this. I did this to someone, but I couldn't focus on that. Not now, not when I barely knew what was going on in the first place. Instead, I simply breathed. I've got you, Sam. I'm right here. Just breathe through it.

Should we take him to Emily's? Embry whispered—it was strange, whispers through this mind-link. It was a lot like an echo, instead of a concrete thought.

She'll freak, Paul warily walked closer to me, and I took him in.

He was the bravest among us, the fiercest, my mind quickly assessed. It was an automatic assessment that shouldn't have happened, but the thought floated through my mind and into everyone else's, and I could feel his pride seeping into me.

What should we do, Jacob? Jared asked me, and there was this heavy pressure on my shoulder's that would've made me collapse if I wasn't already sitting next to Sam's head. Fuck, I don't want anyone looking at me like that—with that much trust in their eyes, awaiting my final word.

But I couldn't simply take it all back. Whatever the fuck just happened was monumental, and I was a Black, the future Chief of his tribe; I'd fucking deal because that's what Chief's did.

We sit and wait, I said, and continued to lick some of the more noticeable wounds, ignoring the rain that had started to fall around us. No one had to tell me that he'd heal. I just knew. It was the same way I knew that I could've killed Sam with one more bite, or that I'd never be the same person ever again.

Jac—ob, Sam's consciousness floated through us for a second. It was fleeting and weak, but his body just needed time to heal. I hope. I really fucking hoped, because I didn't want to be a killer. I didn't want to be responsible for someone's death. Sorry, Sam said, and I didn't know whether to laugh or kick something.

I beat him to an inch within his life, and he's sorry—this was all too fucked up. But this clearly wasn't about me right now, and I couldn't let whatever this was fester.

Nothing to be sorry about, I tried to keep calm and send calm waves out, as I continued to lick his wounds. Just breathe, and rest. We just all need to take a breath, and relax.

I was talking to myself as much as I was talking to everyone else.

Hours passed in that same position, the light drizzle steadily trying and failing to wash my sins away, surrounded by a simultaneous restlessness and stillness and the fleeting impressions of my pack. I didn't have to ask—their minds randomly flitted from one image to another; Emily's face being ripped apart, Paul's volatile relationship with his father, Jared's new imprint, Embry's argument with his mother over who his real father must be. Everything touched me like I was drowning in their minds, but the impressions were enough. I didn't want more.

I couldn't take more. Not right now.

I knew everything that I had to know to realize that I'm definitely in over my head—fuck me. I wasn't ready to deal with any of this. But it was too late, and Sam was healed enough to sit up.

I bumped his jaw with my nose—We're okay, Sam.

Yeah, he stood uncertainly, shook out his fur slowly, testing out his body. Fuck, the guilt was biting at me. We're good, Jacob.

Guess I can't call you baby alpha, huh? Paul's voice snarked at me as other impressions under the surface on his mind barreled through—his father throwing a bottle at his head—blood.

I ignored the impressions the same way everyone else apparently seemed to. Not unless you want a beat down, I joked, but it tasted bitter in my mind.

I didn't want to be this kind of person. The threat of violence that had always been a front, a mask of bravado, was suddenly very real.

Alright, guys, I tried to refocus, the imperative to run, to howl, to cry out all of our fears together gripped me. The word patrol slipped from Sam like a whisper, and I knew what to do. Shake it off, and lets patrol.

Together? Embry asked, clearly tired. He'd been on patrol most of the afternoon. I wanted to tell him to go home, but it didn't feel right. Fuck, these feelings were going to be a bitch to deal with.

Together, I told him, and my voice sounded strange—deeper than before. Just for a little while, at least. Then you can all go home.

Suddenly, like they'd just been waiting for my words, everyone ran in different directions, and I could feel the earth shaking beneath their weight.

I could see all of the land of the tribe as though I was isolated in a dark room, filled by a panoramic vision of the reservation.

My body vibrated with something I'd never felt before, and suddenly, I was launching myself through the woods—yes, yes—this was a type of ecstasy I'd never felt before. Before I could hold back the instinct, I howled to the moon, and my howl was like a trigger—

Everyone howled with me, and a restlessness that had been inside of me calmed. I wasn't the only one, and I realized that they, my pack, had found a peace in their bones that they hadn't realized they needed, settled deep inside of them, as they howled to their new and rightful alpha.

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