Link and the Chamber of Insolence

Chapter 1: The Wizard's Tower

In a far away world a great and terrible evil had awoken, cursing the land with a never-ending blight of darkness. Upon this hellscape, the ancient sorcerer's tower loomed, casting its shadow of corruption ever further. The people of this land had lost all hope, resigned to their fate to suffer at the hands of the evil magics of the dark wizard. All hope save for one small green clad swordsman and his fairy companion who dared to stand defiant before the encroaching darkness. When the strange boy had first arrived, the down trodden people met his claims of being a hero with doubt and derision. At best he was laughed and mocked for his claims of being a hero and at worst he was chased from the town and villages, a dangerous lunatic who risked bringing the evil wizard's wrath upon them with his shouts for resistance and freedom. The people had seen what had happened to those who dared to defy the ancient evil who ruled over the land, and they were quick to distance themselves from anyone who was foolish enough to stand against the evil one's terrible power.

To an outside observer it would have appeared to be a grim comedy. However, this boy was no simpleton or war orphaned child driven mad with grief as many had assumed. This was Link, the Hero of Time with his faithful companion Navi. Though at first, they were alone, hiding from the very people they had come to save, gradually stories of the duo's deeds began to circulate both amongst the oppressed and the evil lord's servants. A dark temple to the Master destroyed, its Guardian slain. A rampaging monster defeated, its hunting grounds reclaimed. Steadily word of Link's successes grew and for the first time in as long as anyone could remember, the overlord took direct action against this upstart.

At first it was his champions that strode forth, proclaiming that they would drag the child back to the cities and parade him in his suffering before the people, a reminder of the price of defiance. The people would hear these boasts and cast their eyes downward, what little hope they had left departing with those monsters. But they never returned. Enraged, the sorcerer turned to his fell magics. Terrible lightning would rend the sky and fireballs devastated the lands the hero moved through. Time and time again the landscape would shake with his power and the people would gather in secret and prematurely mourn the loss of their last hope only for the strange child to reappear and repeat his message of resistance.

Eventually the people's shackles had been so weakened that they stood up in open revolt. Spurned by their hero, the once defeated chattel took up arms against their oppressors. Armouries were looted, garrisons routed and destroyed and the tyrant's forces were driven out. The people had at long last united against their fears to challenge the evil mage.

When the final city was freed and the last dark guardian lay defeated, Link turned his attention to the source of the land's corruption, the sorcerer's tower.

The green clad swordsman and his tiny fairy companion stood before the jet black, obsidian laced tower of the evil wizard, the gargantuan skull shaped gateway tauntingly left open for them.

'Well Link, I reckon it's finally time.' Navi said hovering over the shoulder of her ward.

'Hep!'

Link squinted, trying to follow the tower to its peak but he lost the structure amongst the clouds. He shook his head and sighed. No doubt there was going to be a lot of stairs and ladders for him in that tower. There would probably be one elevator leading to the dark wizard himself but other than that he would be climbing the whole way.

'Alright Link, you know the drill. Let's do our pre-dungeon checklist, shall we?' said Navi, flying in front of him as he searched through his tunic. Link's green tunic was magically enchanted to allow him to weightlessly carry his gear. It couldn't carry heavy equipment, but it could carry all of his tools and weapons, transforming him into a walking armoury.

'Let's see…arrows?' asked Navi.

'Mmm!' he replied as he ran his hand over his full quiver.

'Bombs?'

'Mmm!'

'Milk?'

'Mmm!'

'Slingshot? Hookshot? Boomerang?'

'Mmm!'

'Lens of Truth?'

'Uh-huh!' He lifted the bizarrely fashioned magnifying glass.

'Nuts, sticks, seeds, potions?'

'Uhhhhh..uh-huh.' He frowned slightly. Something was starting to smell in one of his pockets.

'How's that sword looking?'

In a single fluid motion, he unsheathed the gold laced sword he had forged for him in Termina and swiped the golden blade against some dry grass. Though barely pressed, it cut through the grass cleanly. He nodded in satisfaction before sheathing it. It was no Master Sword but it would do.

'I know you have your ocarina…'

He pulled the small blue instrument from his pocket and played a single high note before putting it back. The Ocarina of Time was an enchanted magical artifact given to him by none other than Princess Zelda herself. It was immensely powerful and not to be used lightly. Well that's what Navi always said anyway. Link suspected she was just trying to keep him from having too much fun.

'Your shield looks nice and polished.' Navi said flying behind him to look at the Mirror Shield slung over his back 'Very nice, very nice. What else…'

He was silent while Navi went through her checklist. He used to think, these pre-dungeon checks were a waste of time but as of late he found himself enjoying these little moments. They helped calm his nerves and got him focused on the fight ahead.

'Oh yes, what about your masks? Do you still have them all?'

He felt around in his pockets, roughly shifting around his stuff. He could feel his prized Bunny Hood Mask (which doubled his speed), his Stone Face Mask (which made him as inconspicuous as a stone to the unaware), his transformation masks (including his Deku, Zora, and Goron Masks) and his other, more circumstantial masks.

He gave her a thumbs-up.

'Great, great. Hey Link, remind me to get your clothes washed before we head out again. I don't want to have to-'

A distant whiny interrupted Navi's chiding and he turned and walked over to his brown and white horse Epona. He stroked the nervous mare's mane and Navi flew over.

'Don't worry about her, Link. She'll still be here once we're finished.'

'…'

He kept stroking the jittery horse. As a rule, he never took Epona with him into dungeons. She would only get claustrophobic and scared in the no doubt dimly lit hallways. Instead he would leave her to roam around outside until he was done. He only had to play her song for her to return to him. He wasn't worried about anything catching Epona, he just didn't like to be separated from his friends for too long. On his last major adventure, he had lost both Epona and Navi. He wouldn't let that happen again.

Before long, Epona calmed and nuzzled him affectionately. With a final pat, Link turned back towards the tower. The leering gateway of the wizard's fortress beckoned.

'Alright, let's do this!' Navi said eagerly as he cracked his knuckles.

One dark wizard tyrant coming right up! He thought as he strode beneath the metal portcullis and towards the blood thirsty howling of distant monsters.

Several hours later, Link finally stood before the dark magician in his massive throne room. The room was semicircular, with a raised dais in the middle upon which sat the wizard on a black throne. Lining the walls, great wooden pillars were set beneath a shadowy black vaulted ceiling. Link could barely make out a narrow scaffolding near the top of each wooden pillar, no doubt a remnant of the room's construction. At the base of each pillar was a skull adorned brazier filled with glowing hot coals. As far as boss rooms go, it was pretty nice.

'So, hero, you have come at last to your doom.' thundered the wizard in a magically amplified voice as he stood to loom over the green clothed intruder.

In contrast to the room, Link was unimpressed with the mage. In the many statues of the wizard in the conquered lands far below (about a league's worth of stairs and ladders by his estimate) the overlord appeared as a brooding and darkly handsome, tall figure. In person, however, he was a somewhat plain looking, stooped over man of average height. His receding hairline was streaked with grey and his beard was not quite as magnificent as depicted in his temples.

'I do not deny you have courage, young one. But what use is a fool's courage before my power?' said the wizard as he flourished his robes, revealing an ornately carved staff which ended in a blue jewel that pulsed with energy.

'This staff was gifted to me by the dark God Garouga…' began the wizard, but he wasn't paying attention.

Link was becoming increasingly aware of how homesick he was. Though it was his solemn duty as the Hero of Time to protect those in need, he couldn't help but feel burnt out. After he defeated Majora in Termina, every adventure he went on had become increasingly cliché and honestly kind of boring. He missed Hyrule and his friends Zelda, Maron, and Saria. On this adventure he didn't meet a single noteworthy person. Nobody he would call a friend anyway. Truth be told, he was tired of wandering around.

'…after all, who could have imagined that a mere boy could challenge…' continued the wizard.

That does it, He thought, dimly aware of the wizard's grandiose posing and dramatic gesturing As soon as I'm finished with what's-his-face here I'm going back to the Kokiri Forest. I want to see how my treehouse is looking. I'm going to go fishing, chase a few Cuckoo's. Maybe try and track down Shiek-

'Hey! Listen!' Navi shouted and he snapped back to reality.

'-now die, Hero!' screeched the mage as a powerful arc of electricity jumped from the gemstone at the end of the staff.

He rolled forward as the lightning bolt flew towards him. Springing up to his feet, he raised his shield as his back was showered with the shattered masonry of the floor he had just been standing on. Raising his sword, he charged forward while the mage muttered some incantation as he readied his staff. Before he could close the distance, the jewel at the end of the wizard's staff suddenly shone crimson and several fireballs materialized from the light and shot out towards him.

Link altered his path, running to the side so the fireballs flew past him, exploding violently where he had stood just moments before. Before the wizard could ready another spell, he leapt forward with his sword. However, as he slashed into the wizard his blade met only black smoke.

'Kyaaa!?'

Landing nimbly, Link rolled and quickly scanned the room. Near a brazier on the opposite wall, he noticed a cloud of black smoke which coalesced into the form of the now cackling mage.

'Fool!' shouted the mage "What use is a sword against my arcane powers?" said the mage in what Link assumed was his most oily, smug tone.

'Link! This guy can teleport. You need to stun him or hit him with a ranged attack first. Then follow up with a sword strike!' Navi shouted over his shoulder.

'Hep!'

Link deftly drew his boomerang and chucked it at the mage. The boomerang had barely left his hands before the mage teleported away in a puff of smoke to the rear of the room. Before he could catch and rethrow his boomerang the mage raised his staff which now shone blue again. He rolled forward without thinking, dodging the crackling lightning by the smallest of margins.

This exchange continued another three times before he got the sense that the mage always teleported himself far enough away as to be able to dodge his boomerang and counter attack while he was preparing to catch his weapon. Finally, after being grazed by one of the wizard's fireballs, he swapped out his boomerang for his bow and readied his hookshot. He had a plan.

'Your weapons will not avail you, boy! I have you now.'

As the wizard prepared another spell Link suddenly launched upwards. His hookshot had buried itself in one of the pillars above. The wizard stood in disbelief as Link sailed through the air above him landing in the dark recesses of the ceiling above.

Running across the wooden support beams, he readied his bow and fired. The wizard, unable to see in the dim light, cried in surprise as an arrow suddenly buried itself in his chest. The wizard poofed away across the room and the arrow clattered to the ground. As he rematerialized, another arrow lodged itself into the shocked and off-balance mage who stumbled and fell. Unfortunately for the wizard, he had materialized too close to Link's perch. Seeing his chance, Link ran along the edge of the wooden support structure and dove down with his sword at the still recovering magician below.

This time his sword found purchase. Diving downwards, he swung his blade, cutting from the black robed mages right shoulder down to his left hip. Link grimaced as he felt his arm shudder as he cleaved through flesh and bone. However, before he could follow through with a second strike to finish the wizard off, the wounded man suddenly teleported away. Link rapidly turned and readied himself. Across the room stood the wizard. He stared as the wizards nearly bisected body pulled itself together before his very eyes.

'Heh. Is-is that all you can manage, hero?' croaked the wizard as he steadied his feet, leaning against his staff which glowed a deep violet, 'This staff and I are bonded. So long as it lasts, I am…immortal.' The wizard placed a particular emphasis on the word "immortal". It was one of the mage's favourite words after all.

'New plan, Link. Break the staff!'

Link nodded and drew his quickshot. Firing it into the rafters above, he flew up to the support beams. However, the mage was ready for him this time and threw a great number of fireballs all across the room. Before he could sight an arrow on the wizard, the indiscriminate volley of fireballs exploded across the beams. The fires spread across the dried timbers rapidly, forcing him to drop back down to the floor.

With his bow still in hand, he fired an arrow at the Mage who predictably teleported across the room. He was ready for the wizard's trickery though and immediately fired a second arrow at a nearby brazier which the mage teleported next to. The arrow struck the great brass platter that held the burning coals and sent them flying. As they flew, the hot coals exploded, dousing the area in flame and sparks.

Engulfed in flames, the shrieking wizard vainly tried to smother himself with his strange, smoke like robes. While the wizard was distracted Link sprang forward, his speed enhanced by his Bunny Hood Mask, and thrust his blade directly into the pulsing gem of the sorcerer's staff.

'Nooooo!' howled the sorcerer as the gem cracked and shattered.

Centred around Link's sword, a bright light powered out from the gem as it cracked in twain. As the crystal broke, the stored magical energy of the staff was explosively released. Link and Navi were suddenly enveloped in a blinding white light as the staff was destroyed, sending the two hurtling through time and space once again.