Where in the world is Namikaze Naruto?

Disclaimer: Soooooo middle of the night me has dumb ideas so I'm talking to my brother Dream, who is a total butt, and we thought, 'What if baby naruto accidentally activated one of Minato's hiraishin kunai and teleported to some random location in the shinobi world? What would happen? How would his PARENTS react?' Hope y'all have fun with the crack. For the record, Kushina and Minato ARE alive and Naruto does NOT have the Kyuubi (since nothing went WRONG in this timeline). Expect lots of OOC, cuz i'm not sure how some of these guys would be at this point of time in the AU this is in.

This is beta'd by my butt of a brother. Check him out, he's better than me. :P

Minato stirred and pushed himself up off the couch, shoving his hitai'ate off and rubbing his forehead. He'd crashed on the couch hadn't he….. By the Sage, paperwork was more exhausting than fighting a war some days. But at least it meant he was close to his family all the time. He stood and walked towards the kitchen of the 2 level home he shared with his wife and their son to get caffeine. He pulled his mug down from the cupboard after he shrugged off his jacket. He set water to boil before he sat to sharpen his kunai freezing when he had emptied all the seals sewn into the cuffs of his blue Konoha uniform and the seals on the fabric he used to bind down the loose sleeves when he realized... Wait…. He only had 59…. He only had 59 kunai…. He should have had 60. Where was the last one? He jerked into a standing position and rushed to Naruto's first floor playroom, internally praying to the Sage of Six Paths that his son was just napping. The toddler had a knack for getting into things he shouldn't with his chakra and he prayed he'd just left a kunai at the office.

His blue irises were swallowed by terrified pupils when he saw the lack of his son and the boy's favorite fox plush. He was dead…. Kushina was going to murder him. He hadn't even named a successor. His headstone would read 'Killed by his beloved wife for losing their son.' He could see it clear as day. He'd be strangled by sentient hair and chakra chains as his wife cursed his name. He had to find Naruto. He had to. There was no other option. Not if he wanted to live to see tomorrow.

He grabbed one of the kunai he'd set on the table to sharpen and felt for one of the seals he still had active, appearing in the office of the Kazekage, the village of Sunagakure visible from the window.

The Kazekage reflexively activated his kekkei Genkai, the rings appearing around his eyes as gold began shimmering around him. "What do you want Kiroi Senko? Here to assassinate me?"

"No. I'm here trying to save my own skin. You haven't happened to see a boy with bright blond hair and whisker marks on his face have you?" Asked Minato, panic in his voice, which confused the Yondaime Kazekage.

The redhead had never seen Konohagakure's Kiroi Senko look panicked in all the years he'd known him. He opened his mouth to speak when the door opened and two people entered.

Minato's eyes caught on the younger of the 2, a boy who appeared to be his own son's age. His cerulean gaze narrowed imperceptibly as he muttered, "Bad seal…."

"What do you mean?" Asked Rasa, the rings still firmly etched around his eyes.

"Whatever is sealed into that child is sealed poorly. Like a novice did it…. Or someone who wanted it to fail," said Minato absent-mindedly, forgetting his panic momentarily. He hopped off the desk and shunshin'd in front of the small child before he crouched and rested his hand on the boy's head. His chakra felt for the seal and began rewriting it carefully, ignoring the threats from Rasa and the blond man who'd escorted the boy in. When Minato's focus returned to his own body he noticed the gold sand spikes and kunai pointed at his throat. "Ah- Sorry. I just…. This child is about the same age as my son…. If he had anything sealed into him I'd want it to be as secure as possible. I wouldn't want him suffering."

Rasa observed the Yondaime Hokage for several moments before he said, "Your boy hasn't been here. I hope you find him quickly though."

Minato nodded and made the seal of confrontation before vanishing.

Yashamaru looked down at his nephew before he said, "Well that was…. Odd…"

"Odd is an understatement. Go have Gaara's seal checked," said Rasa, the blond male bowing in acceptance of the order before walking away with Gaara.

"I feel like Konoha will have enough trouble for a while. I'll leave them be for a while," murmured Rasa.

Yagura's hook swung out when the familiar and unwelcome chakra of one Kiroi Senko appeared behind him.

"Care to explain why I'm receiving a visit, Namikaze?" Asked the petit Mizukage condescendingly.

"I'm looking for a boy, he has blond hair and whisker marks. I know we're not on good terms but he's a toddler," said Minato, worry dripping from every pore of his body.

The magenta eyed man stared Minato down silently. The Hokage could be lying. But deep in his spirit, he knew otherwise. The man was just too damn sincere to lie like that.

"Haven't seen him. If this your next generation, I feel like you'll need serious help," quipped the grey-haired man as he lowered his hooked club, "Now get out before I change my mind about letting you leave."

Minato nodded and vanished after a hand seal.

Yagura snorted after the Hokage vanished, that kid was in for some serious hell if his kid could activate hiraishin as a toddler. Maybe observing for a while would be hilarious.

The Yondaime Raikage merely blinked when Namikaze Minato appeared in the training ground, despite the fact he logically knew the man shouldn't have been able to.

"B! You never got that damn seal removed, did you?!" Yelled A, his face written over with anger.

"Gomen, Raikage-sama. I'm just searching for a boy, he looks like me but with whiskers. He hasn't been here, has he?" Asked Minato as he bowed slightly.

"We ain't seen no kid! Wouldn't tell you if we did!" Rapped B, causing A to cringe at his adopted brother's attempt at rapping.

A hit his brother upside the head as he said, "Ignore him. He thinks he's talented. Ain't seen your brat though. We'd have certainly tried to return him. Pissing off your and your habanero never ends well. For anyone."

Minato let out another long sigh before he made a hand sign and vanished in a flash of chakra.

"That guy is gonna get absolutely terrorized," said A bluntly before he returned his focus to sparring with his adopted brother.

Minato appeared near the outside of Iwagakure, and began trying to sense his son's chakra, though he was swiftly interrupted by the appearance of a small man floating in mid-air, a large rock levitating above him.

"What are you doing here?" Asked the Tsuchikage, glaring at the young blond who stood outside the village.

"You haven't happened to see a boy with blond hair, blue eyes and whiskers, have you?" Asked Minato as he straightened his posture.

"Why would i tell my one of my greatest enemies if i had?" Asked Onoki, waiting for an excuse to drop the boulder onto the Yondaime Hokage. He'd need to plan his next move carefully, since he knew this man was dangerous.

"I'm not here as a sign of aggression," said Minato, trying to defuse the situation, "I'm just looking for my son."

"Why would your son be in Iwagakure?" Huffed the old man.

"He found one of my special kunai and vanished so i'm just checking all the tags i have set up," said the Hokage with a tired sigh, "And i have to find his before Kushina finds out i lost our s-"

"No. He hasn't been here. Now leave."

Minato frowned at the sudden change in the Tsuchikage's tone before he remember how terrified Iwa was of his darling Kushina before he hiraishin'd away again, now working through store houses and other similar locales.

Onoki dropped the boulder before muttering, "Terrifying…. That village is terrifying. Those two BRED…."

~Several Hours Earlier~

Kushina looked down at the toddler who had appeared inches in front of her holding a very familiar kunai that she caught thanks only to years as an active kunoichi of Konohagakure.

"Your tou-chan is gonna be in tons of trouble, isn't her Naru?" Said Kushina as he son continued nomming the kunai's blunt end.

"Tou-cha'?" Asked Naruto as he looked up at his mother.

"Yeah, tou-chan is gonna get strangled. Let's take this away from you before you vanish again," said Kushina as she carefully removed the kunai from her son's hands.

"Do you want to go home and wait for him?" Asked Mikoto as she looked at the red haired woman, her coal black eyes shining with sympathy.

"Yeah I'm gonna need to go wait for him since our dear Hokage-sama has some very serious explaining to do," said Kushina as she stood and perched her son on her hip, "If i'm arrested, take care of my son ok?"

Mikoto gave a confused but amused chuckle at her friend's statement before the other kunoichi walked out.

"Okaa-sama? Why would Kushina-sama be arrested?" Asked the grey haired boy who had just entered the room.

"Because she might try to strangle Hokage-sama. Don't worry, he can get away. Usually," said Mikoto, "Did you manage to get Sasuke to sleep?"

Itachi nodded which earned him an affectionate tousling of hair.

Minato reappeared in his living room, now getting ready to write his last will and testament. He'd checked every tag he had left, and hadn't found his son. His blue eyes looked around his living room before he froze, seeing his wife holding their son and a very familiar kunai.

"Mi-na-to~~" Said Kushina, her smile wide, and terrifying as her red hair thrashed behind her like tails.

"Ah- Hello Kushina. How was your day?" Asked the Hokage.

"Oh it was lovely. I was having a lovely lunch with Mikoto when my son appeared, holding one of your hiraishin kunai. I was quite confused," said Minato, her voice sunshine hiding her usual terror.

Minato swallowed and said, "Well…. I uh….."

"Do explain to me why our 3 year old son TELEPORTED TO ME when your kunai shouldn't have been in his grasp," said Kushina as her hair began to part to reveal the spiked ends of golden chakra chains.

"Tou-cha'!" Exclaimed Naruto, not noticing his mother's anger that she buried beneath charming smiles.

Minato went to hiraishin away before chains wrapped around him. Well he'd predicted his death accurately.

"Oh no, you are explaining your Namikaze Minato, or i'm calling Jiraiya-sama," said Kushina, her tone now revealing her anger.

Minato squeaked and began explaining what had happened over the course of the day.

~15 Years Later~

Gaara blinked in confusion for a few moments when his friend finished the story he'd been telling him. That was…. A very hard story to swallow.

"What?" Asked the blond, noting the look on the Suna jinchuuriki's face.

"You're telling me…. That your father brought about world peace…. Because you accidentally got hold of one of his special kunai and vanished? And that he visited the other kage and they were all so amused, they just wanted to see what would happen?" Asked the redhead, his face shrouded by incredulity.

"That's what my tou-chan and kaa-chan say at least. I'm not sure i believe it," said Naruto with a shrug, "I just thought it was hilarious he traversed the entire known world to find me, when i teleported to my mom."

"It's a very you thing to do," said the redhead's only response, wishing it wasn't the truth of his blond friend.