Okay, so another fanfic I uploaded on AO3, but totally forgot to do the same here. I am still working on this one and have plans how I will finish it, but right now I am busy with my Tomb raider series. Once that is wrapped up and finished, I will write more to this one. Planned to do them in the same time, but I am so-so in deep into my TR ship right now I cannot even write anything else xD Notes are also copied from AO3.

Oh God, where I'd begin... first and foremost, thanks to my friends: AboveTheMoonlight and PoetHrotsvitha for enduring my constant complaining about my lack of writing skills and they never stopped supporting me and this little story, what I had deleted for once and wanted to do a second time too. Extra thanks for AboveTheMoonlight for editing this shit, because I am a shit writer. (I'm a curse, seriously.)

This story (freak) was inspired by our very-veeeery long talking and brainstorming with AboveTheMoonlight, about our fangirl theories what included Emmett too. Poor kid.

Try not to die while reading this.

The streets of London were always busy and interesting. Jacob knew that very well and wasn't fascinated by it anymore, not like the first time he made his first steps in London and, like a baby, was completely marvelled by it. All the people, all the possibilities to have a good fight and earn good money. It was now all normal to him.

Time made him see London's true face – the ever-grey streets, the dirt and horseshit on the cobblestone, the smog in the air from the factories. The heavy rain was the very extra London could offer. Luckily today was nice enough outside to take a walk.

Spend some years here and you'll feel tempted to either run away or jump off of the Westminster Bridge. Especially if you often visit Whitechapel.

But not everyone shared his opinion about the city, like the 6 year-old at his side, holding Jacob's big hand with his tiny one and still adored the street life. But Emmett had totally different reasons then his father had when he first arrived.

The people around him and their clothing, funny talking, what they were doing - it all fascinated him. However, his absolute favourite were the carriage horses. Jacob simply had to make some time to take a walk to the station once or twice a week, where the carriages were waiting for a ride, so Emmett could visit his favourite horses and pet them or sometimes feed them carrots.

The boy loved all the horses, but two of them were really close to his heart: Admiral, the black gelding and Jacqueline, an old grey mare. Their owners quickly befriended Jacob - Of course, who could say no to the leader of the Rooks? And a knight too – so sometimes Emmett could sit on the horses' back for a short few minutes and this delighted him, laughing loudly and caressing the soft mane of the animals.

This always melted Jacob's heart a little. Emmett was a good kid, had a soft heart. Like his mother… he inherited so much from her.

A soft tug woke him up from his thoughts and he looked down at his little one. He looked a little tired and Jacob knew this look: time for a ride.

Without a word, he bent down and grabbed the boy and like that, he was sitting in his neck, small hands fisted in his hair. Maybe people stared, but he couldn't be bothered to care – if Emmett wanted to have a proper view of the street, he would have it. He was so short still, no wonder he got tired of seeing feet and waists only.

"Are we going to the horses?" He exclaimed happily as he noticed the familiar route.

Jacob chuckled. Some horses and he was the happiest boy in the world. "Yes we are. I promised, didn't I?"

He just laughed and started to blabber about the animals, how happy he is to see them and what he will ask from their owner about them, and how he hoped Jacqueline will be happy too, and things like that. Kids.

Later that day, when Emmett woke up from his afternoon napping and played on the floor with his wooden toys, Jacob sat at his desk with his papers covered with numbers and reports. From time to time, his gaze drifted towards his son, who was very busy with his carved and painted wooden tiger. Apparently, the tiger had devoured half of the soldiers.

Jacob quite often wondered about his parenting. Being an assassin and a gang leader meant a hectic life, running away in the middle of the night or going away for days to fulfil a mission. Of course, he never left Emmett alone – there was a Rook girl, Elizabeth, who was more than happy to help him out, watching the boy over for him, even when he was away for a long period. In those cases, Lizzy just moved into his flat. Emmett always told him what they did while he was away, like walking to the park or to the countryside to see some more horses and some cows too, sheep and the other farm animals. Jacob was thankful for her, but worried maybe he just missed out too much. Was he around enough? Nevertheless, he needed to deal with London too.

Being a father changed him. Before having his son, Jacob was a reckless man, lived for the today only and did not really think about the tomorrow or further into his future. He always assumed he would die young – he was an assassin after all, often challenged death as he chased his enemies and tried to make the a better place. Looking back now… Did he really make the world better? Will Emmett grow up in that better world? To be honest, nothing had really changed. There will always be enemies, problems, bad people…. because that is how the world works, isn't it? Jacob did not care, not really. He tried to make people's lives easier, that was what he trained for, yes, but he could not change the whole country. The Queen still had her Empire, women were still not equal to men and there was still child labour. Where is his better world?

After his son's birth, he tried to live a better life. Dying young wasn't an option anymore. Now he had to care; now he had someone to take care for, now he wasn't alone. And Jacob was grateful for that.

Looked down at him, the boy was still playing, but changed his mind and the tiger magically flew to the bookshelf in his owner's hand, run to the end of it, and stopped near his desk. Emmett knew Jacob was not happy about messing with his papers – he tended to forget, but not this time. Eyes turned towards the adult man and just simply blurted out; "Why don't I have a Mommy?"

His father wasn't prepared for this question, literally out of nowhere. Jacob looked at him, frozen to the spot. The silence began to stretch way too long and the boy looked like he had done something wrong – Jacob was rarely angry with him, but when he was, a hard stare was enough to let Emmett know he was out of line. He raised his voice only once or twice. His hand – never. Therefore, this long silent moment clearly scared him.

Jacob cleared his throat and turned back to his papers, as if nothing happened.

"Of course you do."

Emmett thought about that for a long moment. Did he? He really, really did? Was he allowed to ask a second question? Well, he asked anyway. "And where is she?"

Jacob closed his eyes for a moment. "Far away."

"Will I ever see her?" The hope he felt found its way to his voice. He had a mother! Of course he wanted to see her! When could he see her? Now? Tomorrow? Will they visit her?

But the answer wasn't what he'd hope for. "No." Simple and short.

Emmett wanted to keep asking: why not? Did she hate him? Didn't she want him and Father? Where is she? In London?

Jacob sensed his son was about to ask even more questions and he also knew maybe one day he has to face those questions, but this was not that day. He sighed, sliding to the floor next to his son. Time to explain some things to a 6 year old.

"Your mother is…. Your mother loves you, that's important for you to know. But she can't be with us, here. She has to be somewhere else, she is needed somewhere else… And I don't know if we will see her ever again. She wanted to be here, to be with you… but she can't."

This was the most he could offer his son for now. Of course, he could never tell him the whole truth.

The little boy looked at him with those painfully familiar blue eyes. "Oh…" He looked sad for a moment, of course he did. "But… does she love me?" His eyes were on him again, full of hope.

Jacob smiled. If there was something that was for sure, was that she loved Emmett "Of course, kid! She loves you very-very much!"

Emmett could somehow manage to put a smile on his freckled cheeks. Kids were amazing, he just acknowledged he will never see his mother, but could still smile, while Jacob wanted to scream and sob.

"That's good! I love her too! Could you tell her that? That I love her?"

He literally heard his heart breaking in two if that was even possible after what happened. "Yes, when I can, I will."

With that, the boy turned back to his toys, continuing his campaign to help the tiger eat the remaining soldiers and Jacob just sat there for a moment. If only he could be this naïve again.

Later that night when he managed to put Emmett down to sleep, Jacob sat down at his desk again and grabbed some paper and an inkbottle with a pen. Time to fulfil the promise made to his son - their son. He pondered over the blank page for long minutes, thinking hard of what he should write, how should he put his thoughts into formed words. 'Well, let's start at the beginning, I think.'

Dear Evie,