"The MANIC Society might have a big problem," said Percival to Leon one evening in their shared lodgings about a year after the MANIC Society was founded.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I think Arthur and Merlin finally figured it out."
"What?"
"I think they might have finally gotten together like us."
"Really?"
"That's all you have to say? Really?"
"I'm . . . I'm . . . speechless. I honestly didn't think they'd ever figure it out. Are you sure?"
"Yes, unless my eyes and ears aren't working properly."
"You caught them?"
"How? When?"
"Remember the last hunting trip?"
"The one where Merlin caught a cold and had to go into the tent earlier than usual?"
"Mhmm. I heard some suspicious noises while I was keeping watch that evening. I thought there was a wounded animal we might have missed, so I started to head toward the forest. But the sound wasn't quite coming from the right direction—turned out it was coming from Arthur and Merlin's tent. They were trying to be quiet, but it was pretty obvious to me what was going on inside."
"But you said you saw them. When was that?"
"Well, that's a little trickier. Have you noticed they've been just a little bit closer to one another since then?"
"Not really. They're always together unless Arthur or Gaius sends him off on an errand."
"But they're still just a bit closer now than they used to be. I see them touching more and more. Especially yesterday."
"What happened yesterday?"
"I was in the Great Hall a little early and found Merlin fixing something in Arthur's pants."
"What's strange about that? A good manservant should make sure his sire's clothes look their best at all times."
"Arthur was still wearing his pants."
"Oh. I see. That definitely changes things."
"So what should we do? Do we tell everyone that the quest is over?"
"Are you insane?"
"We can't lie to them!"
"Oh, Percival," laughed Leon. "Whatever are we going to do with you. Well, you're sort of right. We shouldn't lie. But we also can't tell them."
"Why shouldn't we? It's the honorable thing to do!"
"But it's not the right thing to do. With all of the trouble we've had lately, the MANIC Society is the one thing keeping everybody sane. If it weren't for this to distract everyone, they'd have probably staged a coup months ago."
"Has it really been that bad? I thought spirits have been improving."
"That's because the staff has something entertaining to keep them occupied when they're not working—and sometimes when they are. Besides, do you want to have to give up the biscuits and cakes the kitchen staff make for us at the meetings?"
"They'd still make them for me if I asked. They like me."
"They like you because you can bring in a boar or venison all by yourself when they're in a bind. The rest of us aren't so lucky."
"Alright. For the sake of your stomach, say we agree to this. If they find out we've been keeping secrets from them, they'll probably chop both of our heads off."
"Then we'll just have to wait for someone else to find out and share the details."
"And in the meanwhile."
"Well, we'll keep the secret for Arthur and Merlin. And then we'll have to figure out your punishment."
"My punishment? What did I do?"
"Well, you didn't share your information with me. I'm one of the king's main advisors. I'm also the one who has to figure out how to keep all of the silly princesses and ladies who wish to be courted by Arthur away from Camelot so that they don't interfere with our plans. Do you know how much sorcery they've used to try to lure Arthur? It's ridiculous. And I'm starting to run out of good excuses that they haven't heard before. They're getting suspicious."
"Well, you shouldn't keep bringing up the plague as an excuse."
"But it's the one thing that they'll avoid."
"And then they'll start spreading the rumor that Camelot is full of plague and can't be traded with, and then where will be."
"Good point. I'll work on it. See, you're getting better at this."
"Wonderful."
"Look up. If Arthur and Merlin really are together, eventually someone else will figure it out."
"It's not like they'll be able to hide it for years or anything."
"Those two? If they ever get together, I expect rainbows to spontaneously burst out all over Camelot."
"OK. Enough about them. What's the punishment?"
"Hmm. Perhaps I should sing you a song?"
"No way. If that's the punishment, I'm going to tell everyone. My death will be less painful."
"Are you saying I'm a bad singer?"
"Leon, the last time you sang on a trip, a pack of wyverns committed suicide."
"Nonsense. We shot them down."
"They plunged into that stand of trees headfirst. Without slowing down. And head on. They heard you and decided they didn't want to live anymore."
"Fine. No song. But we'll have to do something. You must atone for your mistake. Any ideas?"
Percival's mouth broke open into a wild grin. "I've got some."