Hey people, wassup? Now, I know what the 5 of you who actually read my stories are probably saying: Sage, you're supposed to be writing the next chapter of your ongoing series (which, by the way, you have been constantly procrastinating doing). Yea, I know. The honest truth is, I am totally lost and have a nasty case of writers block (if anyone wants to help I'd really appreciate it!), so to entertain myself I'm going to be spoofing this fanfic instead.

But first, an explanation as to what exactly this hot mess below is.

"Moon Daughter"; the first endeavor into fanfic writing by the now notorious possibly-troll xxMoonlitexx. It has been called the "My Immortal" of Harry Potter fanfics, but is it really that bad? Yes. In fact, I'd say it's So Bad It's Good, and I encourage you to check out the authors profile and her other works, including a truly horrendous Avengers fic written in the same "style" (perhaps I will get to this one too). Just, don't read too many chapters at once, or you'll loose more than a few brain cells.

BTW, italics stands for heavy sarcasm. Also, I'm about 90% sure this entire story takes place in a Bizzaro Universe where nothing makes sense and all the characterizations are flipped upside down and inside out.

EDIT: Hoooo boy, I'm up to Chapter 20, and this story is bad. Like, even worse than I thought. It's so bad I'm going to have to add a disclaimer!

Disclaimer: human sacrifice, b*** physics, necrophilia, basically things that shouldn't be written and you have been warned

Why do I get the feeling that the list will get longer and longer the further I read...

Chapter 1…Where I get Claimed

My gray eyes satred back at me from the fountain, sad like the end of a summer storm. Luke was dead….Percy Jackson killed him last year in Olympus. I groned as I sat up in bed. Wait, are you in your bed or at a fountain? First three sentences and already we've got plot-holes! I had a dream last night where I was claimed. I didn't know my parents ever, I was an orphan on the Streets of NYC city until a family on a farm took me in, but soon I was bullied by their daughter Brittany. with four diffrent coach Purses and bitchy blond hair. She called me a freak because I had sliver eyes, black hair I cut by myslef so it was uneven and wore the same lether jacket everyday. That is freaky. You should wash that jacket once in a while, think of how gross it must have been being worn every single day. One day I had enough so I ran away only to find my way to Kronos's Army…..and Luke. I was a deimgod!

I knew I claimed today, because demigod dreams are like that, were not like normal people. No! Seriously? I smiled to myself because I hated cabin number 11. The other demigods were mean and bullied me because I wasn't claimed You know, like, HALF OF CABIN 11?!, also they always talked about how evil monsters were, but Luke and I knew better because the monsters in the army weren't evil, they were actually misjudged because they worked for Kronos and ate people but many had good hearts, a draceema saved my life once from an evil rappist when I was in the streets.

"Hey Flavia, you talking to your monster friends," Laughed Annabeth, Percy's slutty girlfreind. She is blond and a Bitch, and from Athena, who are all like that. I thought the children of Athena were the scary smart ones with sticks up their butts. She used have a crush on Luke, but she never had a chance…..Luke told me himself the only one love was me. Before he died. No, he did it after.

My eyes blazed wrathly, I knew she meant my BFF Ivy the Dryad. Ivy was bullied by the other deimgods because she is a Dryad and they hate Dryads because they are monsters. "Eff off! My god parent is powerful to defend Ivy, she has no friends!" Annabeth sneered, "You have no god parent! Your not claimed and nobody will claim you ever!" This entire exchange is totally confusing because at first it sounds like Flavia is saying "she has no friends", but that doesn't make sense, and I'm pretty sure that "Annabeth" is supposed to be the one saying that. she put the haedphones back on, listening to 1 D like a slut.How do you listen like a slut?

I could feel a tear went down my face as Annabeth went away. Ivy came out from behind cabin 11 and I could see she was crying. "You heard her?!" I said. Ivy was crying chloryful which looked like normal crying but green, because she was a Dryad (Because Dyrads are from trees which have chloryful.) That would be like a human being crying blood. Ivy should really get that checked out.

"Oh Flavia, its not fair, you will be claimed I know it," She hugged me and I felt better. I wiped the tears off my face and looked in the fountain where we were sitting, by cabin 11. Now my jet black hair with a wave at the back of the neck has a white streak that was from depression when Britany bullied me,but I think it looks nice so I kept it. Wait, how could you "keep it" did you keep dying it white, or did you keep getting depressed so it would stay that way? Or did you just will it with your godlike Sue powers. I have silver gray eyes which is why Luke called me Moonlite Shameless author plug-in! . I wiped away another tear when I thought this, it hurt so much to think of him killed after all we'd been threw together. But the moon reminded me "What if I am a daughter of the moon Goddess? Artmeis"

Ivy shook her head, "Artemis is a virgin, that means she cant have kids, like ever."Artemis is my fav Goddess, she looks kind of like me but her hair is Ginger and she has a silver bow and arrows. I saw her once with all these girls that follow her and also have silver bows and arrows, but that's not the same as being her daughter which in my heart I wished I was. But wishes dont come true, I knew young this world was not a fairy tale field. Lies and danger are like dark clouds above us especially if your a demigod like I was. Shall I fetch my World's Smallest Violin, you sad sack?

We walked over by some demigods practising with swords and axes and mace, and I took out my bow and made a prefect Bull's eye in the flipped me off because she is jealous I am the only deimgod in Camp who uses a bow and arrows. Except for, of course, the entirety of the Apollo Cabin. "Annabeht!" Yelled the center stood nearby.

He is Chrion, the leader of camp Half Blood, a center half horse and half Man. He is 17 (look I know he is old in the book but this is my story so don't flame) and his long dark hair whiped in the wind above his chest. He looked sad because Kronos was his father before he was killed into Tartarus, and Chiron was all depressed about it, and he spent all his time in the big House by himself. Only now he come out looking wraithful. *Facepalm* Why. Just, why.

"afti enai ena trantagma!" Yelled Annabeth, exept in greek "Except in Greek? So what was that? Egyptian?" because she wants to look smarter, but it was a lie, I wasn't a jerk…she was!

"Why are you always causing troulbe when we practise Annabeth?" Chiron said with his mighty center eyes flashing, "you are jealous, and because Percy is your bf you think we will let you do whatever you want is that it?" But Ivy gasped and pointed at my head, "Look Chrion!" suddenly everyone looked at me, even Annabeth and they all kneeled!

I raised by hand to flip them off a natural reaction to people kneeling to you but then I looked up and saw shining like a thoughsand moonbeams, a silver Stag on my head, also silver Hounds and a Bow and Arrows and a thin curvy moon which was silver. It was so beautiful I cried! also because I knew what it meant…I was claimed, by Artemis! I stood in aw as the other demigods covered up there eyes because it was too bright! And then you went blind! End of story! Yayyyyyyy!

"This cannot be" Said Chiron, "Artmeis is a virgin!"

"Well now she is not," Said Ivy.

And that was Chapter 1. What do you think? Should I continue this? Please state your opinions in a review!