I sighed as I put on my ushanka, the revolutionary red star facing the front. I loved how I changed in the past few months, going from a mindless capitalist puppet to a revolutionary communist, all because I decided to open my mind and observe what really went on in the world. The world's full of bankers who launch warfare on other citizens just to make money. It's sick; workers need to rise up and overthrow them!

Tails is fully with me on embracing such a beautiful ideology, but I don't know where he is. Shadow, however, isn't, and that's why I turned him into a trophy. I don't need to deal with greedy capitalists on a daily basis. All they think about is money and exploiting people.

Speaking of, I got invited to a greedy, disgusting meeting of capitalists at Subspace, chaired by five bourgeois: Master Hand, Bowser, Wario, Ganondorf and Tabuu. These five all bathe in their cash while everyone else starves! We need to overthrow them and set up a perfect communist utopia where everyone's equal!

Although I condemn all forms of capitalism and private ownership, I'm going to it simply to spread my message.

Before making my way to Subspace, I grab my holy scriptures: The Communist Manifesto. I put on a Che Guevara shirt and slip on some black skin-tight jeans before I lower my gloves' wristbands low enough that I can see the red-and-yellow hammer-and-sickle tattoos on my wrists. It's time to STOP hiding the fact that I'm a proud Marxist!

I press a button, resulting in my teleporting to Subspace. There, I see Marth, Roy and Ike. The Fire Emblem gang all stare at me.

"Wow…" Ike said in a brainwashed puppet sort of way, "So… You're a Commie then, Sonic?"

"I sure am!" I exclaimed revolutionarily as I do a fist pump in the air.

"Hahaha! What a joke!" Marth laughed fascistly. I give the misogynistic, islamophobic, racist bigot the finger.

"Interesting," Roy stated in a way someone would if they wanted to learn more about the wonderful ideology of Marxism, "Our planet doesn't allow that."

"Because your world's full of capitalist pigs who keep the proletariat dumbed down," I stated rebelliously.

"No, because Communism is a bad ideology. It was formed by envy," Marth mansplained as I literally see coins in his greedy, bourgeois eyes.

"You do NOT talk about Communism like that! Communism helped get labor laws for the working class, while you greedy capitalists exploited us!" I yelled feministly. Dear Lenin in heaven, how can people be this STUPID?

"What about the Soviet Union and their abuses?" Marth spits out his typical capitalist propaganda that a bureaucracy of rich 1 percenters control.

"Only people against our revolutionary ideas went in the gulags," I said in a bold, socialist voice.

"You're a liar!" Marth stated in a tone sympathetic to the imperialist nature of SATANIC CAPITALISM!

"Huh… I do support workers' rights though," Roy stated in a wise, revolutionary voice, "If that's what Communism stands for, count me in."

I grin as I gained a new comrade. Together, me and Roy can convert this den of brainwashed followers of bourgeois puppeteers to our cause, then we can overthrow the establishment! All I know is, Marth's on the wrong side of history.

Watch out, Nazi, because Communism is coming back.