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AN:

So I've finally been feeling Christmas-y and I've been teaching advent all week at work and when you put the two together? This story was born. Some chapters will be long and some will be short, but think of it as a Snowbarry advent calendar! Hope you enjoy.

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The One with the Finding Out

Barry tried really hard not to stare but it was hard not to. Something was obviously wrong and he wanted to know what it was. But there was definitely an air of 'don't-bother-me-right-now'. So he compromised by focusing on his task and stealing lightning quick looks every time she sighed.

That there was a big sign that something was wrong; Caitlin only ever sighed when she was truly upset with something.

And the fact that when she wasn't sighing she was biting her lip was also a pretty big deal. But Barry hadn't spent the last few years getting to know the doctor without learning that he couldn't just ask her outright what the problem was. No, she'd just say she was fine and fob him off with some distraction. What he needed to do was time it just right so he caught her unawares.

But timing wasn't really his strong suit.

Manipulating time, reacting within a nano-second…. He had those down pat. But being on time or saying the right thing at the right time? Usually not so much.

Caitlin let out another sigh as she walked over to the printer to collect whatever report she'd just printed off. Barry watched her as she bit down on her lip as she walked back to her desk. He quickly glanced around the room to see if anyone else had noticed Caitlin's off behaviour but no-one else seemed bothered; Cisco was caught up in tweaking designs to his suit and Iris was busy typing away, probably on a new blog post.

Barry went back to watching Caitlin, knowing in his gut that something wasn't right with her. He was going to find out what it was, he just needed to pick his moment.

"Well I don't know about you guys but I'm done for the night," Iris said, standing up from her computer and stretching. "That last meta took up waay too much of today."

"Considering we didn't know about him till lunchtime I'd say we dealt with him pretty fast," Cisco answered.

"It's past ten in the evening Cisco," Iris replied. "We pretty much lost the rest of the day to him. Besides after the week we've had of at least one wannabe-criminal mastermind trying their luck each day it feels much longer. I don't think I've made it into before midnight one night this week."

Cisco opened his mouth to reply then just shrugged and started packing up his things. "If you're heading home I'll call it a day too."

"Barry?" Iris asked.

He looked up and smiled but shook his head to the unasked question. "I'm almost done so I want to finish."

"I could wait a minute, let you do it really fast?" Iris teased.

Barry chuckled but his eyes slid over to Caitlin and he knew he wasn't going anywhere until he knew what was going on and if she was okay. "Thanks but like you said, it's been a crazy week. I think I'd like to actually take my time and do this."

Iris laughed too and grabbed her things. "Ok, see you tomorrow."

Iris and Cisco left, their footsteps quickly fading and leaving only the odd tap of a keyboard as sound. And Caitlin's sighs. Which were a lot more audible now. Maybe now he could ask her what was going on? She was always more likely to talk if it was one-on-one.

But if she wasn't ready and his asking spooked her then she'd close off and force a smile and he'd never got to the bottom of the problem. She would just dive into her work and not acknowledge it.

Barry looked over at Caitlin again, as if he was able to just judge from her face whether she was ready to open up. Although sometimes all he needed from her was a look and he knew perfectly what she was feeling or thinking in a situation. It was something he rarely experienced with anyone else and had always put down to their close friendship. Though lately he'd been feeling…

He shook his head and told himself not to go there. It was not the time to be testing anything. The team had just managed to get back to proper cohesion after everything he and Iris had been through.

"Barry?"

He jerked up at the sound of his name and smiled in reflex at Caitlin peering expectantly at him.

"You were miles away."

"Yeah, sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Which was stupid; Caitlin couldn't read his mind and so had no way of knowing where his thoughts were going.

"I was just wondering if you wanted a drink? I'm getting some coffee from the machine. It's no Jitters but…" She shrugged and managed a small smile.

"I can run to Jitters if you want something," Barry said quickly, half rising out of his chair.

"Didn't you just said you didn't want to use your speed after this crazy week?" Caitlin queried.

Barry shrugged and replied honestly. "I don't mind for you."

"Thanks," Caitlin smiled - a true smile this time. "But they'll be closed by now."

"Oh, yeah."

"It was very kind of you to offer. Kind of puts my offer to shame."

"Well you thought of offering first so I'd say that puts us on even par."

Caitlin shook her head at his – very sound – logic, but she was still smiling and after watching her be worried by something all day he was glad he could lighten her mood, if only for a moment. Now it was just for him to figure out what it was that had upset her…

"So if you're having more coffee are you planning on being here awhile longer?" he asked.

"Actually it'll be my last cup of the night," she replied. "I just made a mental promise to myself that if this report isn't done by the time I finish drinking then it can wait until morning. I'm probably not giving it all my brain power tonight."

"As if you'd ever not give your work less than 110 per cent," Barry teased.

"It has been a crazy week." She sighed and moved away.

Barry frowned as he watched her go, realising how tired she looked. There was nothing in a studied look at her, with Caitlin you had to pick out the little signs. But the slump to her shoulders and the half dimmed smiles were definitely a sign of exhaustion, though not necessarily the physical kind. Had she been pushed too far this week? She would always put the team first and ignore her own needs. Had that happened without him realising it?

Caitlin came back into the room clutching at her cup of coffee like it was the last one on earth and Barry decided he couldn't put it off anymore; he needed to know what was wrong and how he could fix it.

"Have you been alright this week?" he asked tentatively. "You know, because of the craziness? I haven't really had a chance to talk to anyone about anything other than metas and food."

"I'm fine," Caitlin answered automatically.

"Cait…"

"Really." She flicked a smile over at him as she sat back down.

Barry let her turn back to her work and start typing, wondering if he'd missed his chance at getting her to open up or whether he should just wait and try again, maybe when she wasn't focused on her work. He turned back to his own report but just stared at the screen. Then he heard another sigh.

"Ok, you're not fine," Barry said, the words shooting out of his mouth before he could fully think past the worry that Caitlin's behaviour was causing him. "You're sighing like once every minute and when you're not sighing you're biting your lip."

Caitlin looked at him startled. "Barry it's-"

"Don't say it's nothing," he interrupted. "I can see it's not nothing."

"It's stupid," she said after a minute. "And not at all a big deal after what we've been through this week."

"But it's obviously a big deal to you," Barry said softly. "And that makes it mean something to me. What is it?"

"It's November 30th," Caitlin said.

Barry frowned, utterly confused. "Um, yeah?"

Caitlin huffed out an exasperated laugh. "Every year when I was growing up, since I can remember, I had an advent calendar. It was something my dad did, and each year he'd try and out-do the one I had the year before. Because of their work Christmas was a bit hit and miss for my parents both actually being there but he made sure I always had a calendar and it became a thing that whoever was home I would show what I'd opened up each day. Since his 'death' and my mother's withdrawal I always got one just for me. But this year…"

"You haven't got one."

"It's not a big deal, really," Caitlin insisted. "I can buy one tomorrow and still do it. I just kept meaning to go get one this past week but-"

"But it's been chaos here," Barry provided.

"I jinxed us today," Caitlin said sadly. "At lunchtime I was going to say we could all do with an early end to work and I was going to go buy one, but then the meta showed up."

"You didn't just order one online?"

"You can only really get the generic ones online," Caitlin shrugged. "And I always try to look for one that's a little bit different." She took a deep breath. "But it really doesn't matter. I can get on tomorrow and still open it on December 1st. It needn't be first thing in the morning. Doesn't matter what time on the day as long as it's on the day. Right?"

"Right," Barry repeated, although it was very obvious to him that it did matter to her.

"I think I'm going to call it a night," Caitlin said and got up from her desk. "This can all wait till tomorrow. Thanks for listening Barry."

"Anytime Cait," he answered honestly. He watched her pack up and then stood up himself, needing to say more. "Nothing's stupid if it means something to you. And if it matters to you then it matters to me."

"Thanks," she said softly and walked over to give him a hug.

Barry wrapped his arms around her tightly, thinking how much she meant to him. He felt Caitlin sigh into him, but it wasn't a sad sigh, more a relief sigh and he felt glad as talking must have helped her a little.

"You need a lift home?" He asked as she pulled away.

"I drove this morning, so I'm fine. You're not staying too much longer I hope?"

"Nah. I'll just make sure everything's locked up and the place is secure. Then I'm outta here."

"Ok, have a good evening Barry. A restful one."

"Yeah, we're definitely due a few of those."

Caitlin gathered her things and walked out of the Cortex. Barry saved all his work and then quickly went around the building making sure everything at Star Labs was safe for the night.

As he started to walk home he realised he still had the nagging feeling he'd had earlier, when he didn't know what was wrong with Caitlin. But now he knew, so why did he still feel worried about it? He let himself mull over their conversation as he walked and just as he was walking past a lit up storefront it hit him.

He hadn't done anything to help Caitlin.

Sure, he'd listened, he'd been there for her to talk to. But the thing that had been bothering her wasn't about needing someone to chat to. It was about not having something, not having an advent calendar to open first thing tomorrow morning.

Well he was the fastest man alive. He could easily get to a time zone where the shops weren't closed yet and pick her up one.

But Caitlin had said it wasn't the generic ones she actually wanted. He guessed she meant the chocolate ones that were everywhere these days. So it needed to be something a little bit different, he mused. He looked over the storefront again, over its massive Christmas displays, and down in the far corner he saw something that sent inspiration shooting through him.

Grinning he quickly glanced around to make sure no-one was nearby and then he disappeared in a streak of lightning.

/

Caitlin woke the next morning after a much needed seven straight hours of sleep.

To say it had been a hectic, over-worked week would not be exaggerating. At all. But the city was safe from new threats, Barry wasn't too badly hurt from any of the fights, and Team Flash were all doing their thing. She had nothing to complain about. If there was a little niggle about the loss of a childhood tradition it could be reasoned with; an advent calendar was not a big thing in the scheme of things.

She got up and ate breakfast, did her morning routine and got ready for work, all whilst repeating that to herself. She'd buy an advent calendar today and this year she would just open the number each day last thing at night, instead of first thing each morning.

Making her mind up to concentrate on the positive of that, instead of the negative she'd let it become this past week, Caitlin headed for her front door ready for a new day and whatever happened in it. Opening the door she stopped dead.

On her front door mat was a wooden box with the number 1 on it in red with a gold outline.

Caitlin looked up and down her hallway but there was no-one there. Tentatively she reached down and picked the box up, being careful with it. Part of her brain was screaming that she worked with the Flash and quite a few of his enemies probably knew where she lived. A much bigger part was excitedly squealing; it was the 1st of December and this box had a big number 1 on it. Just like an Advent calendar.

Hoping she wasn't making a silly, massive mistake, Caitlin opened the box.

Inside were a selection of her favourite chocolates and she couldn't help smiling as she rummaged through them.

Down at the bottom was a small card and jostling everything so she could keep it all in her hands, she managed to flip it open and read:

Caitlin,

1 / 24.

He didn't… she thought. But he was the only one she'd told, the only one who could possibly do this in the time between last night and this morning.

And she couldn't help the smile that took over her face.

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